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I reckon not keeping up on the news and what's happening in the rest of the world can sure shake a feller up. I know when I got into town I was sure surprised to see all these soldier boys standing around in uniforms I didn't recognize.

At first I thought maybe we'd been invaded by the Russians or something like that, but I could tell they wasn't Russians right away. While all them military types was big boys, six foot plus and built like the Hulk, they wasn't all blue eyed and blond like that feller Rocky kicked the shit out of in that show I saw one time down to my Uncle Ray's.

Anyways, I'd come into town to get some Miracle Grow, and I'll tell you something else, the feller that invented that stuff has got be worth a zillion bucks. Why, I grow the best weed in five states, and that stuff is worth its weight in gold. Course, the stuff I grow is too.

Anyways, I'm getting sidetracked from my story here. I had to stop of at the post office to pick up the mail, like I did a couple of times a year. It was mainly Pa's titty magazines, which I think all the boys at the post office read cause they knew we didn't come to town much, and a couple of letters from Cousin Jim, who was over fighting the rag heads in some desert country.

This feller, one of them big soldiers, asked me if I had my card. I thought he was trying to get me to sign up for one of them credit cards, but ever since Bobby, that's my brother, got one and we started having folks show up wanting money for the things he'd ordered off the TV, we didn't allow no one in the family to have one. So I told the feller no thanks, real polite like since he was so big, and headed on in to get Pa's bathroom reading for him.

When I come back out he was waiting there for me, the soldier boy that is. He told me the President said I had to be tested for this card, and since we'ens have always done our patriotic duty, I follered him inside this truck thing they had all set up like a building. He told a second soldier boy there that I had to be tested, although he figured I wouldn't score to good. I wasn't sure what kind of test I was taking and worried cause I hadn't gotten to study for it none.

The second feller allowed as how the first was right and led me to this little room with just a chair and a computer screen. He did some things I don't remember and then I was talking to this sexy sounding woman. Her voice was better'n the one I heard on the phone the night Bobby called one of those numbers you see on the TV late at night.

Only it wasn't really a woman at all. Seems it was some kind of computer which really shocked me, since I didn't know computers could talk, let alone have sexy voices. Anyway, she asked me a bunch of questions, but I don't remember what they were.

Seems though that this computer worked for some aliens, (I guess Cousin Stewie was right all along) and they was here to help us humans fight against these other aliens that was like locusts or something.

'Cept that wasn't sure we would be ready for the fight when it came, so these good aliens are helping some humans escape Earth, so as they could keep fighting should Earth get eaten.

Anyways, this computer asked me a lot of questions about a lot of stuff. It told me some stuff I didn't know and then asked some more questions. Finally she said I was done and when I got up I was all stiff like I'd been sitting there for hours.

So I go out to the desk like she says and this feller behind it looks at this card thingy and says that something was wrong. He must have pushed some button 'cause the first feller, the one that told me I had to get one of these here cards, he comes in and looks at the card too.

"This can't be right," he says and gets this funny look on his face. I found out later he was talking with that woman computer that asked me all the questions. Kinda weird that, talking to someone in your head. I'd think maybe he needed some testing, but I do it now too so...

I'm getting ahead of myself again. So this feller hands me my card, kinda grinning silly like. "So, do you want to volunteer for the Confederacy?" he asks.

"I thought they wasn't around anymore," I told him. "I mean, since the North won the War and all." He looked kinda funny, like he was trying not to laugh, but it wouldn't have bothered me none if he had. I've always thought if there were more laughing in this world there'd be a lot less fightin'.

"No, not that Confederacy," he tells me. "The Confederacy Space Marines is what I was talking about. We're going out there, into space, and fighting the Sa'arm before they get here. We're also putting humans on planets out there, lots of planets, just in case we can't beat them before they destroy Earth."

"I'd sure like to help you fellars," I says, "but Pa and the others need my help at home. Sissy's about ready to have her baby and Ma's down in the back so right now ain't a good time for me to be going no where."

"Well, in the past we've gotten special permission for high CAP score volunteers to bring along family members," one of the fellars said. "Let me check on it for you. How many people would we be talking about?" he asked.

Well I thought it over and realized the only one who'd probably come along would be Sissy. She was knocked up and ready to pop any day. But she'd be glad to get away as that no account Seth Waters, the fellar who knocked her up, was claiming he wasn't the father.

Hell, he even suggested I was the baby's daddy, but Sissy and I never did nothing like that. Sure we fooled around a bit when we was younger, playin' doctor and all, but I'd never fucked her. Still, that kinda thing happened out our way from time to time so they was some that believed him.

Ma and Pa wouldn't go no way no how. Pa, he spent most his time drunk nowadays, and Ma, she was getting up in her rockin' years and with Cousin Ed and his ole' lady there to help out, I reckon Sissy and I wouldn't be missed to awful much. Still it just seemed wrong, running from a fight.

"Don't worry, when the Sa'arm actually get here, we'll all be here for the fight," the big fellar told me when I explained to him my thinkin'. "I can get the AI (whoever that was) to guarantee you'll get to return to Earth when the Sa'arm get here if that would help you make up your mind."

"In the meantime, you can be training to fight them," the other fellar said. I allowed as how I already knew a sight about fightin', but he says this was gonna be a whole 'nother kind of fight. I told them fellars I'd think it over some and headed outside.

If'n I could catch Pa sober I'd like to get his thinking on it. Drunk he weren't much good for nuttin' but sober he was still a pretty smart man. Problem was he weren't sober all that much these days. I figured he was drinking himself into a hole, a dirt one, but Ma allowed as how loosing six kids would lead a body to drinking.

When I stepped outside I got a hell of a shock. It was near dark, which confused me some, I'm here to tell you. Why, the sun'd been straight up when I went in that little trailer, and now it was way down in the west, just about settin'. Maybe that's why I didn't notice the fellars comin' across the streets with guns right off.

"Kill the traitor!" one of'm yelled and I heard a gun go pop. Now it weren't a big gun, just a little pop gun and I heard the bullet twang off the side of Pa's old Ford. It t'weren't the first time I'd been shot at, but that's a whole 'nother tale, so I'll get back to this'n.

It was about two steps to Pa's truck, I got long legs, and I yanked the door open, hoping the rusty hinge didn't break, and grabbed my old .30-06 of'n the seat. Another fellar yelled something about Earth coming first or sumthin' like that. I didn't catch all of it 'cause my ears were ringing from the boom of that old rifle.

That first fellar he folded over like he done got kicked in the guts by a mule, which it probably felt like it, and I was turning toward the second when I heard this buzzing sound and two of them just went limp and hit the ground.

They was three more still a comin', so I let the one with the M16 have it, he was the furthest back but with that gun I reckoned he was the most dangerous of the lot. He went down like a rag doll and it felt like someone hit me in the leg with a ten pound hammer.

I was trying to get back up when I heard that buzzing noise again and the shootin' stopped as sudden like as it started. One of the two soldier boys was down on his knee wrapping something around my leg and I saw blood squirtin' out a hole in my pants. That was the last thing I remember for sure, though I thought I heard sirens, way off a ways like.

The next thing I recall I was laying inside this tube thing. It had a clear lid like and I could see out, but I never did like tight places, well I guess I like some, but I started breathing hard and pounding on the lid. Some fellar dressed in a funny suit came and opened it, steppin' back a bit as I sat up.

The room looked all funny like, the walls were gray metal looking and there were things like TV screens everywhere. The fellar that opened the lid said he was a medical technician, whatever that is, and allowed as how they'd patched me up and I was good as new.

That reminded me of the hole in my leg and when I looked down I seen I was buck naked. I was some relieved to see Charlie didn't have no holes in him, which I'd worried about afore I passed out, seeing as how I tuck him down my left pant leg an that was the leg that'd got shot.

"Were my clothes at?" I asked the fellar and he said they'd been recycled. Now that ticked me off some, pants were hard to find for a fellar as tall as me, so I was in the habit of wearin' 'em plum out before getting new ones. Course, they'd plugged the hole in my leg and kept me from dyin', so I guess I couldn't complain too much.

"AI, can you get this man some clothes please?" the fellar asked. I didn't see no one else in the room and wondered if they let fellar's that talk to ghost be doctors. He went over to this little table thing and I'll be damned if a folded shirt, blue jeans, boots, belt and all, just like what I'd been wearing, didn't appear out of thin air.

I was a little leery of 'em, but they fit just fine when I put 'em on, and even magic pants is better'n no pants at all. They looked and felt just like my old ones, 'cept they looked brand new. "Someone will be here to show you where you'll be staying in a minute," the fellar said, and I just nodded.

Hell, when I checked the pockets I found Grandpa's old skinning knife, my lucky gold piece, and my wallet, just like they'd been in my old pants, minus the pocket lint of course. I was still trying to figure all this out when a piece of the wall slid back and a fellar near as tall as me came walking in.

It took me a second to recognize him, seeing as how he was in one of those uniforms like the boys down in town was wearing. I was used to seeing him in a different uniform, one that most folks down my way wadn't to happy to see. Cousin Jack was probably the most schooled one of our family, havn' went to college and all.

"Cousin Ted," he said with a big grin, reaching out and shaking my hand. "Good t' see ya. You all better now?"

"I reckon, lest I ain't bleedin' all over the place no more. That's a damned sight better'n how I remember things was before I passed out," I tole him.

"How's things down you'alls way?" he asked, like he didn't know. Come to think of it, he hadn't been around in a while. Course I figured it was cause the last time he was down our way someone shot the lights off his pretty white squad car. We'ens didn't hold for the law much, and it made it rough on us when one of the family was the law.

A fellar felt plumb bad about shooting at family, but then he knew how we all did the law when they showed up around home, so he'd taken the chance all by his self. He didn't seem to hold no hard feelings though, just standing there grinnin' from ear to ear.

"Well, Sissy she's knocked up, that no good Seth Waters told her he wouldn't shoot in her and did anyways. Ma, she's down in the back again and Pa, well he's as drunked up as ever." Cousin Jack just nodded, I reckon things was about the same over in the valley where his folks lived.

"They tells me ya' all did pretty good on you CAP test," he said, still grinning. "They found out we's cousins and wanted me to come and show you around. I think they's hoping I can talk ya inta' joining up."

"Well, like I told them other fellars, I ain't going nowhere till after Sissy pops that kid out," I explained.

"Bring her here," Jack says. "Hell, look how good they fixed your leg up, no scar or nothing. 'Sides, you come along and you'll get all the pussy you can handle, and then some."

Well I wasn't so sure about that, 'cause I like pussy something awful, but he told me that since I got a 9.3 I got to have eight concubines. Now I've read the Good Book a time or three, so I figured out what a concubine was real quick like. Seemed like a pretty good deal, but I still wadn't sure about it. Seemed it was too good to be true for a country boy like me.

"Where's a fellar get all these concubines from?" I asked him. Seemed to me I didn't have women fallin' to their knees and begging to be my slaves when I walked down the street, so finding 'em mighten be a sight harder'n it sounded.

"Naw, they'll be beggin' you to take 'em with ya when they sees that number on your card," Jack said. "We'll get someone to take you down to the next pick up and you'll see. Women folk want to get away afore the Dickheads get here, so they's willing to do about anything to get picked up."

Hell's fire, most the girls down my way just had to bat they eyes at a fellar ifn' they wanted picked up. Pussy was hard to come by back in the hills, which is why I reckon some didn't stray to far from home to get it.

He could tell I weren't convinced, so he led me down this long metal hall to a eating place and over a couple of cups of coffee he filled me in. Having someone that was from back in the hills tell me all about it help a sight, I'm tellin' ya. Ifn' he hadn't explained it to me like that, I'm not sure I'd of ever figured it out.

"So, I can get them to bring Sissy along, and they'll put us on a new planet and give us all the things we need to survive and make it into like a new Earth or something?" I asked.

"Yep, that about sums it up. Course, once you got your colony set up and can, you gotta go help fight the Dickheads." That was the second time he'd said something about fighting "Dickheads" and I'd thought the fellars before called 'em the Swarm, like locusts. Jack laughed and took me over to this TV on the wall, turning it on and showing me this picture on it.

Sure 'nuff, them alien things sure did look like the head on a dick, and I said so. Jack, he just grinned and asked me if I'd join up. Well, I told him I'd think about it some more but I reckoned I needed to get home and check on Ma and Pa. I asked him to show me where they'd parked my truck and he thought that was something funny, cause he laughed and laughed.

"Let me show you something," he says, and off we went again. We was walking down the hall again when this whole string of people come by. They was a lot of naked women, some good looking and some not so good looking, and a few naked men. "They just got done doing a pick up," Jack explained.

"Why's all them people naked?" I asked him.

"Cause most sponsors, that'd be guys and girls like me and you, want to try out the girls and guys they're thinking of taking as concubines first. Course, it's not really necessary. Ifn' their pussy's to loose, just tell the AI and they'll tighten it up when they go through medical."

"Seems to me the main thing is finding girls that'll do what you tell them and who you can stand to hang around all the time. You get a real bitch and it can make things tough on you, listening to her nagging constantly." I allowed as how that'd get old in a hurry, a man liked to relax at the end of a hard day, not listen to a woman gripin' bout all her problems.

We got to this big room, and I do mean big, and it was full of people, most of 'em naked as the day they was born. I saw more titty and ass just walking across the room than I'd seen in all my days afore that. I bought broke my neck checking 'em all out, which made Cousin Jack grin. That fellar is always grinning though.

"Here," he says stopping by the wall and pushing a button. A whole big chunk of that wall just disappeared and I was looking down at the Earth. I knowed it was the Earth cause I seen pictures of it taken from space before, but when I realized I was in space I about near shit my new pants.

Cousin Jack thought it was real funny, he was laughin' 'stead of just grinnin' and I boxed him on the shoulder. "Warn a fellar for you scare the shit outta him the next time," I told him. He just laughed harder. Then he got serious and told me how they really needed smart guys like me, 'cept I told him I wasn't so smart. Hell, I'd never even finished the eighth grade, seeing as how Pa just quit taking me to school.

"Education isn't everything," Jack said. He had me get my card out, and I was sure surprised to find it in my wallet like he said. He got this little thing from another of the Marines and showed me some of the fine print on the card.

"See, here you test at near genius level on intelligence, and that's without any proper schooling. Hell, after a little sleep training you'll be off the charts on that one." He seemed proud to have a genius in the family although I wasn't so sure.

The Waters family back home had a girl they said was a genius. She'd got straight A's all the way through school. But I'd talked her into taking Charlie up the shitter, and she'd bled for two days after. She didn't seem so smart to me after all. Course, I didn't want to knock her up and was fresh out of rubbers, as we'd done it three times already that afternoon.

Maybe she was the closest thing to a genius that family had. Her brother Seth sure wasn't very smart, knocking Sissy up and then not taking up for her like he should. We'en's was just waiting till after the baby was born and they could do that testing thing to prove it, then we'd be on his ass like stink on a skunk.

"Here, this is your score for aggressiveness," Jack said. "To low and you won't fight, to high and you're too dangerous, liable to snap at any time." That made sense to me, as I knew fellars like that. Tad Williams back home would fight at the drop of a hat, sometimes he'd drop the hat just to fight.

"And this one here says you'd be a good Dad," Jack went on. "Oh, and this one means you're a horny billy goat," he added with a laugh.

"Why'd they care how horny I am?" I wondered out loud.

"Cause they want you making lots of babies," Jack explained. "See, when they get you where you're going that'll be one of your responsibilities, getting your girls pregnant. The plan is, just in case the Dickhead eat everyone on Earth there'll still be humans around to take up the fight and get it back."

I'd seen enough and had a lot to think about. Cousin Jack wasn't to happy I wouldn't join up right then and there but I needed to sleep on it a bit. He got some fellars to take me back to that little trailer next to the post office. My truck was still there and I was some pissed off to see the back window'd been shot out.

It was noon again, and it felt weird being there and not remembering much of the night before. But I had to run to the Walmart, and now the junkyard for a new window. I got lucky and found the window right off, and the old man there even changed it for me. I used his old vacuum to suck the broken glass outta' the seats and headed to Wally World.

I tried callin' home from the payphone, and Sissy answered. She told me they was all worried about me when I didn't call or come home last night. I told her about what had happened and she said she'd seen something about it all on the TV. Pa was drunk, as usual, but I talked with Ma, who told me to come get Sissy and get her and her grandbaby somewhere where them things couldn't eat 'em.

I gave it some thought while I was at the Walmart, and decided I'd do it. With that thought in mind I loaded up on some things I knew Ma might need, making three trips to fill the back of the truck. On the way back in for the fourth one I called home again, as they was somethin' I needed to talk to Sissy about.

"Sissy, if'n I do this and you go with me that means you gotta have lots of kids." Sissy allowed as how she liked kids so it weren't a bother. "But Sissy, who's gonna get you pregnant?" I asked, blushing and hoping none of the folks walking by heard me.

They was silence for a bit and then Sissy said, her voice kinda strained like. "Well Ted, if I go as your concubine you'll have to do it." Now this bothered me some, and to be truthful I'd been thinking on it. What bothered me the most was Charlie got hard every time I thought about it. Sissy was a good looking woman, even with her belly swollen all up. She'd always had big titties, but they was really big now, which I liked but didn't tell her that.

"Do you think you could do that?" she asked. If'n she'd seen the bulge running down the leg of my jeans right then she'd not had to ask.

"I just don't want you to think I'm some kinda weirdo," I told her, "but yeah, I could do it if'n you didn't mind."

"I wouldn't mind," Sissy said quietly. "I mean, if'n it's the only way I can get away before them aliens get here, I can do it." I nodded, then remembering she couldn't see me allowed as how it was okay then. I think I was kinda hoping she'd show a little more interest in it, but I tried not to think about family that way.

I had some girl cousins that was lookers too, I'd even fooled around with them some. Okay, I'd fucked Sharla May, but she was a third cousin on Pa's side and it was only that one time at the family reunion. I'd not seen her since, although if'n I had I'd have probably fucked her again. She was a good lay, and a looker too.

I hung up the phone after telling Sissy I'd call when I had all the details worked out. I was headed back for the truck when one of them big Marines hollered at me. He wanted me to come back inside and I told him I had to take this stuff to Ma and Pa. I think he wanted me to go with him right then, but family comes first.

"I'll be back here tomorrow," I told him when he came up to where I was standing with the door open on the old truck. "I'll do what you fellars want, but I gotta take this stuff to the folks and say goodbye first. Plus I wanna bring Sissy to town anyway, I'd feel better if'n she was close to the doctor's, her being liable to pop her kid out anytime."

He didn't look none to happy about it, but let me go after telling me to be careful. He said there was some guys that didn't like people going off to escape the Dickheads, and those were the ones that'd shot at me the other day. I told him I'd keep an eye out for them and left him standing there talking to himself, or so it looked to me.

I got home after dark. Ma was sitting in her old rocker on the front porch. She pointed me toward the porch swing I'd put up for her and I sat down. For a long time we just sat there in silence, listenin' to the crickets chirp and the frogs holler.

"Reckon it's gonna rain," she said at last.

"Yep, them rain frogs is sure talking it up tonight," I replied.

"You gonna take Sissy with you?" she asked.

"Yeah, I reckon. I'm a bit worried about it but I guess as long as she can stand it I'll do my best," I told here. I was hoping Sissy'd broke the news about me having to get her pregnant from time to time. Seems she had, as Ma gave me a funny look.

"I reckon you will. You been getting a woody around her since she first started growing tits." That was Ma, never one to mince words.

"Yeah, but I wouldn't ever of done nothing before," I said in self defense.

"I wish I'd put her on the pill like I thought of long ago," Ma said, shaking her head. "You don't mind raising another man's get?"

"Well, I reckon breeding counts for some things, but you can take a hoss with the worst breeding in the world and make a pretty damned fine animal of it if'n you raise it right. I figure it's no different with kids." Ma just nodded.

"Well, Sissy's waiting inside for ya. I reckon she wants to talk some. Seems she's worried when the time comes you won't be able to do what needs done," Ma said, giving me a shrewd look. "You go in there and set her mind straight about it, you hear me." I nodded, wondering if she meant what I thought she meant.

I had some things to talk over with Sissy too. Jack'd given me a lot to think on, and one of the things he'd said really worried me. Sissy was a strong minded girl usually, and she didn't take shit off'n nobody. But if'n she came with me she'd have to do what I told her, or it could get her killed. That kind of scared me and I wanted her to know right up front about it.

I kissed Ma on the forehead and headed inside. I tried not to think about it, what she'd hinted at, but I could feel Charlie thickening up against my thigh. He'd always liked the way Sissy looked, and no amount of insisting I wasn't going to touch her had changed his mind. Now that it was a real possibility, he was really getting excited.

"Sissy," I called, tapping lightly on her door.

"It's unlocked," she answered and I swung the door open. She was sitting on the side of the bed in a nightgown, and she looked scared plum through. I'd never seen Sissy looking like that and it worried me some.

"Teddie If'n you don't want me, I mean like that, just say so," she whispered softly. "I don't want you to have to do something you don't want to do." I know Sissy, and nothing I could say would change her mind. She shoulda been born in Missouri, as their "show me" slogan really fit her to a "T".

I walked over to her, stopping right in front of her. She sat there, looking at the ground while I looked at the top of her head. "Sissy, there's something you gotta understand and swear too first. Look, up there, if'n a concubine does something bad enough, they aren't throwed in jail or anything like that, they's killed."

Her head snapped up and she met my eyes, her own a little scared looking. "So, you gotta swear to me, if'n I take you, that you'll do whatever I tell you, even if'n it's something you don't wanna do." I watched her face as she thought it over and finally nodded. "No, say it," I told her.

"Ted, I swear to do anything you tell me from now on if you'll take me with you," she said. I nodded, that was good enough for me. Now the thing was, did she mean it?

"Unzip my pants," I said, my voice a little strangled. Sissy stared at my face, swallowing nervously. I felt like turning and walking away 'cause if she couldn't do this now then later when it really counted she might balk and wind up dead.

"Do it Sissy," I told her and she reached for my zipper. I needed to get my pants off anyway, ole' Charlie was getting harder by the second and it was starting to hurt. He was still tucked down along my leg but wanting to stand up and I needed to free him right quick.

She fumbled with my belt a bit, but got it and my pants unzipped. I told her to pull 'em down and she did, I could see her eyes getting bigger as Charlie came into view. I don't wear any underwear, as Charlie won't fit in 'em, so she got an eyeful right off.

"Damn Teddie, you done some growing since I seen it last," Sissy said in awe. Soft I'm eight inches long although I get a bit bigger hard. Right then I was hard as stone, and so she was looking at ten inches of man meat when Charlie finally popped free.

He smacked against her cheek and she gasped, leaning back from him a bit. She looked up and me and giggled as her hands wrapped around him, stroking me gently. "Holy shit Teddie, you're huge," she giggled. I shrugged but the awe in her voice made me feel good.

"I wish some of my boyfriends who thought they were big could see this," she said, laughing as she continued to look me over. She lifted Charlie up, her hand going to my balls and hefting them gently. "No wonder you always got a big bulge in your pants," she whispered.

Next thing I knew she had her lips around the end, trying to get her mouth open wide enough to take it all in. I'm so long I don't look that big around, but her mouth must have been aching trying to fit it all 'cause she backed off and opened wide, like she was trying to stretch her jaw muscles.

"Wow, that's going to take some getting used to," she murmured. "Any girl ever get this all in her mouth," she asked me.

"Naw, Shayla Knotts, she got about half way before she started gagging real bad," I said as Sissy tried again. Maybe the stretches helped, cause she got about two inches in her mouth that time, which was just the head and a little more. It sure felt good though, and I moaned as she sucked lightly on me.

"Can you even fit it all in a girl," she asked when she stopped to rest her jawbone a minute.

"Some I can, some I can't," I told her and she nodded. "I got it all the way up Lin's ass once," I added. She looked at me kinda funny and I shrugged. "She didn't want no baby and I was fresh outta rubbers. She said it hurt but she got off a half dozen times a'fore I did," I said in self defense.