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If there's one thing my long life has taught me, its that everyone makes mistakes. Gods, men, Third Folk - they all fuck up, now and then, do the wrong thing for all the right reasons. The only difference is the scale of the consequences...

The morning I made my first mistake in years - more years than you can possibly imagine, believe me - I'd gone out to procure some things I needed, a Journey that did not take me far from Home, nor expose me, I thought, overly much to risk. Well, there was the chance of being run over by a bus, I supposed, and the local Youth had something of a reputation, but, when all's said and done, buying eggs, bread and some broccoli is not what you'd call a Significant Quest. Well, not in Homerton, anyway. They have shops. People take money from you, give you what you need. Or what you ask for, anyway.

It was on the way back from this less than Perilous expedition, though, that I made the error, and one that was to complicate my life immeasurably, whatever the chivalry of my motives may have contributed to my standing in the Higher World. Even despite the fact that my intervening thus in the affairs of Mortal Men might not be judged favourably by many of my Calling. In any case, I found a young damsel in distress, a mere waif, as scrawny and unkempt as most of her kind, experiencing unwanted attentions from a group of young men - I suppose you'd have to call them men though in my day they'd have been lucky to feed the pigs ... in either sense of the term. Whatever, these undernourished and uncultured oafs were pressing an unwelcome troth, without a doubt, on the poor child in question, and doing it where I had to pass. So I trusted to my staff, as so often of yore, bested the lot of them with the merest application of my Power, and watched them run off when, of course, I should have turned them into frogs. Ah, my friend, of late I find that even I am deficient in my Observation of Tradition...

No matter. I found that the young lady, so recently rescued from so dark a fate, had now swooned quite away and appeared to be entirely unconscious ... and quite exposed, much of her clothing having been removed by her erstwhile assailants. I did not think it fair to simply leave here there, nor appropriate to leave a Task incomplete. So I lifted her to my shoulder - she was, indeed, only the slightest of burdens - and took her with me to my Sanctuary, where, I thought, I could at the least prepare a healing draft, perhaps find her some vestments to cover her modesty while she returned to hearth and home, my Eternal Standing, no doubt, enhanced by her quiet gratitude and that of her loving parents.

It was even as I placed the draft I'd decocted to her gently quivering lips that I began to think that things might not go entirely as I had envisaged. Which is to say, I had not expected the merest hint of the odour of my herbs to cause her to awaken instantly, sitting up and throwing my chalice to the floor as she did so.

Nor had I expected her, somehow, young and maidenly as she appeared, to be quite so vocal, quite so demonstrative in her speech.

"Fuck me," she said, really rather loudly, "What the fuck ... peppermint fucking tea! What the fuck... Who the fuck are you? Where am I? And what the fuck has happened to my clothes, you dirty old bastard?"

I was taken aback, my friend, taken aback to an extent that I could not even summon a simple silence charm, nor yet a Spell of Remembering, so I had to explain. Verbally. Truly, these are degenerate times, when one such as I must explain to a mere chit of a girl.

"You were being attacked," I said. "I - err - saw off your attackers, but you had fainted, so I brought you back here, prepared you a healing draft, which you..."

I looked at my favoured chalice, now lying smashed on the floor, its former contents making a bit of a mess on the bare lino. She looked at me with a certain comprehension in her eyes.

"Cor, yeah," she said, "It was those Bishopston wankers, in the stairwell - and you beat them off with your walking stick! Fuck, but that was pretty fucking good, for an old guy like you. Sorry I broke your mug, by the way."

I sighed, wondering whether it was worth disabusing her of these misconceptions, or whether, indeed, it was only my Pride that tempted me to do so. While I pondered, she raised herself from the couch I had so carefully laid her upon and, with a muttered curse at the state of her clothing, began to take an interest in her surroundings.

"Fuck me," she said, "but this is one weird dive you have here, old man. Why have you drawn all that shit on the walls? And why all these fucking weird candles? Had you 'leccy cut off, 'ave you?"

I moved quickly to remove a Sceptre of Power from her - it is not wise for for the uninitiated to handle such objects - and wondered again how much she should be Enlightened.

"All is not as it seems, my dear," I began, reasonably enough, but got no further. With the Impetuosity of Youth, I supposed, she began to pace my rooms and I, necessarily, followed: Anxious for her safety, given her Innocence, her Ignorance of that with which she was dealing.

When she entered my private Chamber, however, things began to get a little involved.

"Fuck me, man," she said with a sort of choked giggle, "you fuckin' sleep here? With all these skins on the bed, all those whatever the fuck on the walls?" She waved vaguely at my wolf skin covers, the brocades and tapestries but she didn't wait for a reply.

"You into weird sex, then, old man? Strange stuff with strange people?" She sat on the bed, toying with a Blood Dagger I had left there, looking at me expectantly. I noticed that a nipple was poking through a rip in her T-shirt, that her minuscule skirt had ridden well above her thighs. She rolled onto her back, taunting me.

"So, who do you get weird with, eh? You into men or women, old man? Or boys or girls?", she leered, "Or maybe dogs, given your choice in bedding. I'd have thought that my dog would be well into this..."

I stared at her in horror and disgust. Such words from such young lips. Ah, but if she knew just how strange some of the Women who I had known intimately had been, how exotic the venues of many of those Couplings. My Composure snapped, Resolve evaporated.

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This is the third and final chapter of Celestial Wars, sequel to Celestial Matters. If you haven’t read all that, then you should scamper off to read those first. You’ll be lost if you don’t. For the rest of you, here we are, again. We’ve made it to the end. I’d like to take this moment to give my thanks to Lady Ver for editing this story for me. She remains invaluable to me as I write these little tales. Any errors remaining are mine. I’d also like to warn you, gentle reader, that there is...

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Lab Rat

("All of my writing is on hiatus until further notice, however, the story is still here and fully available. Any interaction, be it a like or a comment is immensely appreciated! If you have an idea for a chapter, be sure to let me know and I'll see what I can do! That being said, enjoy "Lab Rat"!) "Dear Jason, Congratulations from our company Headquarters. Your application to join the Futanari Production and Research Center as a Model Test Subject has been approved. Welcome to the...

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Nine Memorable DaysChapter 19 Vikki Story Six

"Well that was kind of the end of the party for me Justin. I decided I needed some fresh air so I graciously refused all the generous offers from my friends to give me a lift home and began to walk..." Vikki walked into her house late on Friday night crying. She was alone and had been for the past three hours having spent most of that time in the coffee bar in First Avenue. It had taken three cups of coffee and a lot of coaxing from its proprietor George Papandraeous, a plump Greek with...

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The Ranch Chapter 6

Now, I could spend the rest of this story talking about the evening in the whirlpool, but that isn’t really what this is about. Suffice to say that I was stuck in between two girls who are so much in love and who know each other so well that they could get each other off anywhere. It was amazing to be in there with them and just have them playing over and around me. They put me to bed later and I slept like a baby. I think I woke up around 11am. I realized when I did wake up that I had started...

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Erotic New Year8217s Eve Party 8211 Part I

Hi friends, I’m Ankur Roy from Mumbai, a 21 year old man. I’ve been reading stories on ISS from the last 6 years and have always enjoyed them. First let me describe myself, I’m 5.11 feet tall and weigh 75 kg, kind of fit body. I’m the tall dark and handsome types. My tool is 6.5 inches long which is erect more often than not. This is my first story here, so pardon any mistakes. The story is a little long so read with patience. Now coming to the story, I’ve been waiting for quite a long time to...

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AngelicaChapter 31 Storms Brewing

Ethan and his three sons gathered around the desk to view the images Rico sent. Ethan's blood boiled as he watched his estranged son Jordan spanking and fucking Angel. "Look at him," Joshua, Ethan's oldest son, laughed, "He's giving her a good hard spanking." Joseph, Ethan's second oldest son, was also very amused; however James, Ethan's youngest son, only pretended to be amused. He was sickened by what he saw and what it would ultimately mean. At first his heart leapt at seeing...

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Cougar Mum and Frustrated Daughter

Kez a college lass, is disgusted her divorced mum has emerged as a cougar; screwing a boy from her own college class. She becomes frustrated with her own deprived virgin coochie and can’t even quietly get herself off because her mum is rooting loudly all through the night in the next bedroom…I never saw my own mother as a MILF. Divorced yes. Single mom certainly. Menopausal…probably. Cougar …NO. I was completely caught by surprise when my mum… ‘Valerie’… introduced Josh Roberts to me. Talk...

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Darrens Dilemma Chapter Nine

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Bernies House Of Bangers

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A Bad Spell of Whether

From: Abraham Stuffy Subject: Inordinate Pabulum With Sail Due to Masseuse Cues. To: Professor Standing , Brandy Occult , Tops Corporation I will be unapologetic to communicant by retail for a smile. A soreness naked Emily Gudtri has impassibility then a canal iterate in me, and rebated to my fancifulness to my dating Amanda by pacing a cruse on our spelunking audibility....

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Please Give me Something to Remember you by greatest generationChapter 6

In the community of Cedar Grove, Iowa they were known as “The Sons of Thunder,” the infamous Cross twins, Jericho and Joshua, sons of Reverend Amos Cross, pastor of the Bethel Baptist Church. Typical of pastor’s children, those of police chiefs and other men of authority in the community Jericho and Joshua Cross were rebels of the first magnitude always in trouble though never felonious. They weren’t identical twins, but the outside world had difficulty telling them apart. Technically...

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MommysGirl Silvia Saige Sera Ryder TruthOrDare Training

Silvia Saige is relaxing in her room when her stepdaughter, Sera Ryder, asks to come in. Sera shly admits that she’s nervous about a slumber party she’s going to because this group of friends, more like friends of friends, are ‘more mature’ than she is. She’s sure they’re going to play games like Truth or Dare but she doesn’t know what to expect since she’s never played with them before. Silvia, who secretly lusts for Sera, decides to use this as...

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Start the Revolution Without MeChapter 7

“So, it’s official,” Heather informed us now, “my marriage is over. Fernando wanted me to terminate the pregnancy and I told him that I wouldn’t. He wants a divorce now and I’m fine with that. It was fun while it lasted with him, but I think that what I really need now is you and Nina. To dominate me, of course. Sex with my husband and lovers, very nice ... sex with Master and Mistress? Fantastic! I want to be your personal kept slut ... well, and Nina’s, though you outrank her. In any case,...

4 years ago
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Moms Accidental Super Bowl Orgasm

I had just completed training and certified in Swedish Massage using my hands and a Swedish Massage that fit the back of my hand.. I was at my Moms house to watch super bowl on her then what seemed to be large 55" Flat-screen TV.. as part of the deal was I was to give her a nice massage..So I show up at my Moms with folding massage table and I asked where she wanted me to set up.. She asked if I could do it in the living room so I could watch the game at the same time.. I said sure and figured...

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