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I'll just admit it right off the bat. I don't like policemen, not one little bit. It isn't that I have any big crime planned or that I've ever committed any - I just don't like the cops I've run into during my life.

Of course it's possible I always happen to run into policemen that are not truly representative of the upstanding moral fiber of the majority, but I doubt the fuck out of that, personally. No matter the specifics of the situation, every cop I'd ever dealt with in his or her professional capacity was a dyed in the wool smart alec shitass.

Maybe they teach 'em to be assholes in policeman school or something. Whatever. I don't like the cocksuckers one little bit. It's a safe bet most of them would be distressed about this if I told them face-to-face, and no doubt a ruckus would start up. Normally you'd think the one in the ruckus with a policeman would end up in jail, and normally he would. But I wasn't normal, hadn't been since three forty-seven yesterday afternoon.

Policemen aren't the only ones I don't like though. I don't like lawyers, judges, most bureaucrats, or any politicians of any party. To top it all off I don't like terrorists worth a shit either and preachers aren't fit company for anybody as far as I'm concerned.

In fact, I was looking a little bit forward to my upcoming death. It wasn't like there was a ten-day countdown or anything like that. It would be within the next few years though, because my ticker didn't tick just right anymore.

I didn't know exactly what was wrong with it, because I didn't have the money to find out. People that are too proud to file for disability until they just can't do a damned thing anymore should take a warning from me. If you go too long scraping by without filing, you could end up going past the recent quarters limit. Best to file for it before you need it, just in case. That little detail just added to the bone I thought I had to pick with politicians.

There I was yesterday, driving to Wal-Mart in a car with expired tags, no insurance, and I didn't even have a valid driver's license. Wouldn't you know it, a damned off duty city policeman cut over in front of me in his personal car and clipped my front fender. What a fucking bummer. I knew this would normally be time in the pokey for me, even though I didn't do a damned thing wrong in this limited specific instance

It was an off duty city cop and I knew the shitass. We'd never had a personal run in, because I was usually pretty careful not to get into any shit. It was a small town and I stayed at home most of the time and out of the way of people. Still I knew about Jasper Conner.

He was a big man and relatively stupid. He enjoyed his position of authority more than a lot of people thought he should too. He hopped out of his car ranting, raving, and cussing a blue streak. He headed right back to me and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he intended to yank my door open and see about jerking me out of the car. It got right on my last nerve.

When he yanked the door open, as I'd expected, I shot him right in the pump. Talk about a surprised look on a cop's face. Of course being the self-important turd that he was, the 45's bullet only knocked him over backwards onto his ass, knocking the wind out of him in the process. He had his city issued police bulletproof vest on under his civvy shirt.

Didn't do him one fucking bit of good though. I stepped out of the car and let him have one in his left eye. He wasn't wearing a vest up there. He was really surprised right at the last, for about a quarter of a second.

Yeh, I knew I was up shit creek now. Even my small town police department wasn't going to fuck up this investigation - like they did the one when a young woman was strangled in her home and her kids were drowned in the bathtub, eight years ago.

I didn't even give a shit. I sat back down in my car and waited for the fuckers to get here. About that time my car did a trick I didn't realize it could. It disappeared, reappearing parked in the Wal-Mart parking lot, right in the handicapped parking spot that my sun visor's hanging sign said I was entitled to use. What the fuck?

I got out for lack of being able to think of anything else to do. Damn, I still had the M1911A1 semi-automatic colt in my hand. I bent over and put it back in its holster and slid the holster under the seat. Standing out by the car again I saw jumping to the Wal-Mart handicapped parking spot wasn't its only trick.

Glory Hallelujah! My car had been healed. The missing front bumper was back in place and all the damage from the time my brother had drunkenly run it through the roadside nest of traffic signs was gone. Hell, the body was perfect, even the windshield was crackless again.

Damn, there was a valid looking inspection sticker and license sticker down in the lower driver's side corner of the windshield too, in place of the two expired examples that had been there back when the windshield was cracked all over, about ninety seconds ago.

I laughed like hell, locked the car, and walked into Wal-Mart. They were having a big sale on Ranch Style Beans and Wolf Brand Chili.

I picked up two cases of chili and four of ranch style beans then rolled on and grabbed a big bag of dry dog food. No, I wasn't going to add dog food to my chili and beans. It was near the first of the month and my food stamp card sill had plenty of room on it. Hell, I felt so much better over the dream I was having that I went to the bakery case and scored a raspberry coffee cake.

At the self-serve checkout I scanned my items and then swiped my food stamp card, waiting to see how much money I'd need to put in for the dog food. Hell, the machine spit out a receipt and told me Thank you for shopping Wal-Mart. I had to check the paperwork to see if the dog food had been charged and it had, but the food stamp card had paid for it without squawking a note. What the hell, this was all a dream anyway.

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the office fetishthis incident happened to me 4 years back.. when i was travelling wid my boss to india for a buiseness meet.my boss was a beautiful woman.. black long hair.. big beautiful eyes.. n awesome succulent breasts.. i always had a fetish for her.. she wud catch me looking at her times.. but i just laughed it off.. one day v were both assigned to go to delhi in india.. n were staying in d hotel .. while travelling i couldnt stop looking at her.. n she looked at me.. n kissed me...

1 year ago
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Whats a Girl to Do A Halloween Story

All characters involved in sexual activity in this story are over the age of 18. If you are under the age or 18 or do not understand the difference between fantasy and reality or if you reside in any state, province, nation, or tribal territory that prohibits the reading of acts depicted in these stories, please stop reading immediately and move to somewhere that exists in the twenty-first century. Archiving and reposting of this story is permitted, but only if acknowledgment of copyright and...

3 years ago
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Whats a Girl to Do A Halloween Story

I really shouldn’t do it. I know what I am getting myself in for, but it’s been a long time and I really need some relief. I’m desperate and even the best vibrator can’t satisfy me most of the time. I need a man... or a woman. I know going to the party is risky, but what’s a girl to do? I really need some relief, and everyone normally treats me like they don’t even see me.They’ll see me tonight, though. The Tri-Delta’s are having a Halloween party and it is going to be out of this world. They...

College Sex
3 years ago
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Whats Taking So Long

Never ask your wife, "What's taking so long?" while she is getting dressed to go out to a fancy dinner or you just might find out what takes so long, as I did. My name is Brian and my wife is Jamie. At the time of this story we had been married about three years. Jamie's job requires her to attend some very fancy parties and dinners once or twice a month and yours truly was always her escort. This adventure began one fateful Friday evening. We were going to one of these...

3 years ago
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Whats Taking So Long Part 5

What's taking so long? (Part 5) Never ask your wife, "What's taking so long?" while she is getting dressed to go out to a fancy dinner. I did, and so far it's been very interesting... The story continues... Briana Returns During dinner on Wednesday, Jamie had asked me to take Friday off again. She wanted Briana back for the weekend. I knew that she liked my feminine side, but it surprised me that she wanted it back so soon. So, on Thursday I checked on taking Friday off. It...

3 years ago
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Whats Taking So Long Part 6

What's Taking So Long? Part 6 By Teddie Never ask your wife, "What's taking so long?" while she is getting dressed to go out to a fancy dinner. I did, and so far it's been very interesting... We continue... Briana Forever Jamie had fooled me into going to the Queen's Court by myself, by feigning being ill. She showed up at the club after I did, to enjoy the 'Amateur Contest' in which she had entered me. After the contest we were sitting with Shelly and Cathy, and just...

2 years ago
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Whats your name again

- Both characters were 19 -They now have their own house as Jeremy is an engineer and Laura is an intern at a hospital. -They live in upstate New York. "What's your name again?" My name is Jeremy. I am 26 years old and live happily with my wife Laura. This is the story of how we took each others virginity. Let's start at the beginning. We met in kindergarten. I remember seeing her first come in and feeling the urge to pick on her so badly. Back then I didn't know any...

3 years ago
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Whats Taking So Long Part 2

What's taking so long? (Part 2) Never ask your wife, "What's taking so long?" while she is getting dressed to go out to a fancy dinner. I did, and so far it's been very interesting. We pick my story... My wife Jamie and I were just leaving the day spa, with me looking 100% female, or so she said. When we found out that Cathy was really Carl. He/she had said, "Yes. Always have been a man, always will be. At least between the legs. I have the body of a woman and the genitalia...

2 years ago
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Whats in a Name

What's in a Name It's a funny world, isn't it? Everything has a name or a title or a description. What's more, whenever some "thing" runs outside the "norm", it is discussed and labeled and explained. That's where I come in. I'm not "normal". I was born a male, but want to be a woman. So I am a transsexual. But, I don't feel the all-consuming need to have my penis turned inside out into a vagina, so maybe I'm a transvestite. Or a crossdresser. I love having breasts and live full-time...

1 year ago
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Whats Sexy

After the success of my stories about my first wife I started to write about my second. As soon as I did I found I had a problem, although very beautiful and with a great figure my second wife wasn't very sexy at all. True we had great sex in the bedroom but that doesn't mean that she was sexy. So with this startling piece of information I started to thing about what is sexy and what's not. Well let's start in a good place; my first wife was sex on legs and she would make a good benchmark....

3 years ago
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Whats gotten into Carry

"Shit, Carry!" I shouted. I must admit, when things get good, I have this habit of cussing. Like when Carry sucked on my dick harder than ever before. Carry's always been great at giving head, but holy shit! Something else had gotten into her. Something wild. Carry was my girlfriend of two years. We met our sophomore year in college and immediately hit it off. Things had been great, in fact I'd been thinking that after we graduate, I'd ask her to marry me. Carry's sweet, smart, and sexy....

BDSM
4 years ago
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Whats Taking You So Long Part 3

What's taking so long? (Part 3) We continue with the story... The Lake Jamie and I had dosed off after a great session of lovemaking. I didn't even get to wear my new nightgown. We had both fallen asleep in the nude. And, it was late Saturday morning when we woke up. Jamie was up first, and in the shower when I finally awoke. It took me a while to shake out the cobwebs and realize that there was something different. I looked down and saw my breasts, and then remembered what...

3 years ago
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Whats Sauce for the Goose

What's Sauce for the Goose... I worked for an accounting firm in the mailroom, sorting and delivering packages for the company. It's a nothing job with no real future, but it paid my bills...barely. Six months ago, I met a gal in a bookstore. I managed to hit it off with her because of a few novels we'd read in common, and over the course of a few dates, I convinced her that my sparse lifestyle gave me a lot of time and freedom that could be focused on her. She bought it and...

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