in cantina
- 2 years ago
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CAP schmap! By the time I'd watched the clusterfuck of a couple of years of pickups I'd decided that someone who had set the priorities for takin' people to the stars to fight the Sa'arm or swarm or dickheads or whatever ya wanna call the critters that them alien folk told us about four years ago had no idea what it really takes to support a technical weenie or even a jar-head or a squid for that matter. I mean my hitch in the army left me a dog face and only a short step above a Civilian in Military Uniform as some of us had a tendency to call Air Force pukes, but any body who had been in the military knows that even if most of us figure that the DOD is top heavy and full of PC pukes who are nothin' better 'n REMFs (Rear Echelon Mother Fuckers) it still takes at least 7 people to support one troop on the line. And even if you thought that all that alien technology would shorten that by half ya gotta know if ya can do very much math that if they (the friendly aliens) had set the cutoff at 6.5 outta a possible 10 that means the at least 65% of the human race was considered too damn dangerous or to damn dumb to go to the stars. By the time it got to be mandatory that ya took a CAP test in the erstwhile USA I'd decided from my research that the friendly aliens was plain scared gormless that we was worse that the swarm. Sorta like chemotherapy was before the aliens started givin' us some of their medical technology ya know the cure was almost as bad as the disease basically poisin' th' body hopin' that ya killed th' cancer 'fore ya killed th' patient. So anyway I'd taken my self in to one of them testin' stations half figurin' that I'd flunk out or be dumped right out into the hands o' th' pigs. Ya see I'd been moonlightin' without tellin' the Infernal Revenue Service about anythin' I was paid in cash for at least five years. I do small handyman stuff in the evenin' and I get paid cash or trade if I'm feelin' generous. What that means is that on occasion I let some poor gal whose ex has split without tellin' her where he's gone pay me to fix whatever by givin' me a bit o' leg. Or to be a bit more blunt a piece o' ass.
I guess I ought to tell you a bit more than that about me or maybe not ... ah heck I'm a bachelor 'cause I got bad habits. That ought to be enough. So here I was standin' back on the street starin' at a CAP card that had a big 6.5 on it. Huh? I decided that the only thing they was doin' right was keepin' these places open all hours of the day or night. I mean 24-7 365. The reason that they could get away with that was that the tests was run by an AI (that's an Artificial Intelligence for those of ya who ain't smart enough t' keep breathin') so suddenly I'd won Darwin's lottery if I could get to a place where I could get a ride offa this ball o' mud. Not that I ain't awful sentimental about mother earth and all that, but heck I'm smart enough to get out of the way of a nest of army ants. And that was about what the swarm amounted to if ya' thought about it.
So this meant that I got to take two people off o' this ball of mud as breedin' stock. If I could get somewhere where they were doin' a pickup. That might be a stretch 'cause I don't usually hang out where pencil-neck geeks tend to do lunch. So I needed to do some research to see where after hours pickups had happened and maybe where some tech firm was that hadn't already been cherry picked was. I might have to move I thought, but heck survival means you got to change. So I got on my cel phone and canceled the appointments I'd set up for tonight and headed home to do some research instead of spendin' my time readin' internet porn.
I did a search on pickups as soon as I got on line after gettin' home. I was right in some ways, but hey what was this? They'd hit a little coffee shop by the college three times? Stupid again. Then again it must be popular with students, maybe the ones in a tech track liked the place ... still it would be a magnet for terrorists. And maybe that was what some bright boy upstairs was doin' not that I thought they had got that bright yet. Some people are too stupid to live ... It really is true ya' know even when they got big brains. See it took most of two years for the idjits in th gumumup to figure out that if we was gonna survive th' landin' o' the dickheads we'd all better be armed. No more five day waitin' period! Funny thing too, a whole lot less armed robbery. And muggin'? It just don't pay no more. Terrorists? They are too stupid to live whether they are Jihadists, Earth First, or Greenies. But they ain't as smart as your average mugger. Or they done got their head screwed on backward. I mean they decided that if they can't go no one ought to. Commies is th' same way if they can't have it (or everyone can't have it) no one ought to have it. Stupid! Even with replicators it seems that there is always some amount of scarcity. To be blunt there ain't enough stuff for everyone to have everythin' he wants. What he needs? Maybe? But who's gonna enforce it? And seriously if ya only got enough for today what ya gonna do if ya can't get t' the store tomorrow? An' what if the trucks can't get to the store for a month? Maybe those AI things could enforce it but if they did that for long enough we wouldn't even be English sheepdogs.
At best we needed to be Ferangi an' a lot more aggressive than that. That is if we're gonna actually win against the dickheads. And to be honest we needed to win against the dickheads 'cause they was definitely like cancer and eventually we were gonna get driven out of the galaxy and to be honest the universe if somethin' or somebody didn't do somethin' about them. And it seemed we was up 'cause we was in their gun sights as it was. Luck was with us that the friendly (way too friendly) aliens had decided that we might be effective chemo therapy.
I did a web search on other places near the college tryin' to find someplace that that might be a gatherin' place for pencil-neck geeks (or geekettes, a guy could hope... ) night-clubs? Diner? Laundromats? Where else might college kids hang out? I had no idea. I hadn't had enough money to go to college which was why I was a bit surprised that I'd got a 6.5on the CAP. And even if I had gotten some college in I'd have not been able to hang out 'cause I'd have had to work and do homework. So I'd laughed off the average Joe shows I mean really? A pencil-neck geek is an average Joe? Gimme a break! It ain't so. Average Joe is some poor fuck who goes out an' busts his hump in some hard-labor job for 8 or more hours a day. He ain't no wetback but a wetback can be an average Joe too ... don't take that wrong, I don't care what color your skin is as long as you do your job. I work for a black man and he does his job. I've worked for Mexicans and Japanese and other folks too. None of them was bad. Most of them was just so focused that they can't see nothin' but their corner of the world. I expect that is what got us into this mess in the first place. No body is coordinatin' the whole thing and the AI's really don't understand what it takes to run a war. They been sheepdogs so long they can't even do more than think about how to maybe cure cancer.
Then again I got some imagination. Would you want an intelligence that never slept, that had the entire knowledge base of your race, and that operates at a couple billion (or more) cycles per second bein' too independent minded? They might just decide that all meat critters was too stupid to live!
So how was I gonna cash in my ticket to the stars? That was the real question that I faced. Grocery stores? That was an idea I'd have to check out by cruising the area I'd bet. So that meant I'd have to drop my after hours work so that I could check some of them out. Too damn bad they couldn't just pick up a city block. (Hmmm to many people who would be too stupid to live!) Not really but not smart enough to mask their fangs enough to get past the AIs. Still that brought me back to some of the pieces I'd knocked off recently. Did I want to take any of them with me? The short answer was probably not even if I could edit the original to my specifications. Most of them was single for a reason! And it wasn't cause they was widows!
Now wait a minute! Wasn't Rosie's man in the joint for some chickenshit thing? Yeah, and she was definitely a sweet thing. I popped up my address book and checked her number.
I dialed it ... Ring ... Ring... "Hello?"
"Hello Rosie?"
"No this is Stella."
I pictured the girl as I'd seen her a few months past just after her tenth birthday. She was a little spitfire of a Hispanic chiquita who was probably some pedophile's wet dream ... what I mean is that she had grown up young. She had a nice set of B cup tits on a slender little body that was plain tiny, I doubt she weighs 70 pounds in all her clothes soakin' wet. She couldn't be more than 4' 9" tall. I still measure shit (and people) in feet and inches... 'cause SI is just some french man's idea of how to rule the world ... I mean maybe we ought to use the li? What is the Chinese measure of distance that would be equivalent to an inch or so? If the number of people using it is any measure of being right then that would be the one ... Ya see what I mean?
"Stella is your momma home?"
"Yes ... Who is this?"
"Stella, this is Señor Bill," I told her using my first name as I had with her mother when I had done work for her.
Stella giggled and yelled, "Momma! Mr. Bill is on the phone!"
There was a scuffle and then the slightly more mature voice said, "Señor Bill what do you want?"
There was more than a bit of Spanish accent in the voice which really was the only way you could tell her from her oldest daughter. "Hola Señora Monteverde, may I ask you what Francisco is in the pokey for?"
"He run drugs for Miguel."
"I see. Por favor may I call you Rosita?"
"What is wrong Señor Bill?"
"Nothing is wrong Señora Monteverde, but I would not wish to be too familiar."
"Then yes you may call me Rosita."
"Thank you. Rosita, do you know why Fransico is running drugs for Miguel?"
"Si, he wants to buy nice things for me and to send the children to a better school."
"When will he be out of jail this time?"
"In ten days."
"Thank you Rosita. Will you tell him that I may have something for him to do when he gets out and that he should not see Miguel before he sees me."
"Señor Bill are you certain?"
"Yes, If you can keep Stella from telling him that you paid me a very nice favor so that your doors could be upgraded."
"I think I can do that."
"Fine. Perhaps I should meet him at the jail?"
"Si. Perhaps that would do well. He will call tomorrow and I will tell him that you will be there to get him if he calls you. You have work for him?"
"Yes it will not pay as much as Miguel does but he will not risk being shot to do it either."
"I shall tell call you while the children are in school if he agrees."
"Adios."
"Adios señor Bill."
Ten days ... did I want to wait ten days? Yeah I did. It would take be that long to identify a possible location for a dance where the Confederation just happened to be calling the numbers. Unless ... I suddenly had an idea. Opening a small restaurant would be within my means if I didn't have to sustain it for more than six months. Calling Rosie again tonight would be very bad form but I did know a couple of other ladies who while not nearly so nicely put together nor with such a pleasant personality as Rosie who was sweet and hot.
Still they would not be unhappy to find a part time job dropped into their lap.
I perused my address book again and made some decisions. First on my list of possible waitresses was Joleen Greene and her friend Latasha Towers. I knew both of the women had worked previously but quit after being abandoned by ne'er-do-well studs as soon as they began to swell. So they were each now saddled with a 6 year old child. I dialed Latasha's number first hoping she was at home.
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Wife LoversBecoming Brandee Chapter Eight: Sitting at my vanity I carefully outlined my lips. Then I pulled out a tube of china pink lipstick and coated them. My refection pleased me so much. Finally, I coated my pretty colored lips with two coats of shiny sticky lip gloss. I winked at Richard reflected in my mirror who was watching me get ready for work. I then stood up to face him in my freshly ironed cocktail waitress uniform. Today I would be wearing my pink uniform. I loved wearing...
Andee woke to the sound of the shower running. Looking at the digital clock beside the bed she saw that it was just after 6:00 a.m. As she sat up in the bed, she was trying to shake out the cobwebs and jetlag in her head when the realization of what had gone on the night before became obvious. She was naked but couldn’t exactly remember at what point during the night her lingerie had come off. She rolled out of the bed, made her way to the closet and pulled on a t-shirt from her suitcase. She...
Wife LoversThe whole matter began shortly after Andee’s 38th birthday. She had made one of the biggest decisions of her life and cropped her long brown hair into a cute “pixie” cut. It was a drastic change in her mind, and not long after she began to feel that she wasn’t being “noticed” as much as she had been when her hair was long. “Men prefer long hair,” she complained to her husband one night, not long after she made the dramatic transformation. But despite his constant reassurances, she still felt...
Wife LoversIt had been a long time in coming. Andee wasn’t sure if having to “pay up” for losing a friendly bet with her co-worker was just a passing joke in the hallway, or if he was serious about collecting on it. As a thirty-eight year old mom of two very active boys and career woman, she enjoyed a bit of adventure in her life and this was the second time in a year she had found herself confronted with a sexual complication with her friend. Without question, Andee had been a shameless flirt with Paul,...
Wife LoversBecoming Brandee Chapter Seven Today may be one of the most important days of my new bimbo life. I go for my job interview today. I am so nervous. I so want to get this job. Lisa seems to think I am a shoe in. But I am nervous. I so want this job. It means a lot to me and I think it will mean a lot to Richard and I know it will help continue to rein....reinfer...re...make me more comfortable as a bimbo girl happy in her role.To support me, Lisa came over and we went through my...
Disclaimer: This chapter, like all chapters of the Becoming Brandee series are intended for adult readers only. Reproduction in any form may not be done without permission of the author. Becoming Brandee, Chapter Eleven: Julie and I crawled into bed together spent as Richard retired to his room. However, just before heading up to bed, Benjamin and I shared a private moment at the door before he headed back to his home. He kissed me tenderly and told me that he'd like to see me...
We woke up mid morning the next day. I rang down to the servants house and asked that breakfast be served in about an hour. I hustled Candace into the shower, telling Candy that we couldn't play; I had a big day planned for us. And that of course set off a round of what? and why won't you tell me, and I don't care if it's a surprise, which finally ended with several swats to the ass cheeks and a gesture towards the shower. Point made, game, set, match; for now anyway. I went through...
Disclaimer: Like all chapters of the Brandee series, this one is inteded for adult readers only. Becoming Brandee, Chapter Twelve I am now in my fourth month of my tour of gentleman's clubs and adult bookstores and I am really enjoying myself. Julie came out a few weekends ago and had such a fun time watching me in my glory. She says she is going to finish up her Doctorial work sooner than expected and that we might get some more time together. I would really enjoy that as I...
“We’re here!” Grandma cried as she and Grandpa came through the front door with their suitcases. “Grandma!” the children shouted as quickly the five of them surrounded their Grandparents. Grandma and Grandpa hugged them all – letting their hands grab the firm young asses of their grandchildren. Grandma took special care to press her massive bosom against their chests feeling her nipples harden as she did. Grandpa’s large pecker had been hard since...
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Disclaimer: Like all chapters in the Brandee series, this one is also intended for adults only. And, like all other chapters, no part of this story may be reproduced without permission of the author. Enjoy. Becoming Brandee Chapter Thirteen: I think I was telling you all about my publicity and promotional tour before getting side-tracked by hygiene issues in the last chapter. Let me fill you in on a few of my adventures with some fascinating audience members who've won the "Win...
Flashback - 11 months earlier (Author's notes - the intro takes place 'right after' Andersonville 6) There were fifteen men and women crowded into the small conference area. As Colonel Myers surveyed the room, he noticed most of them, the programmers anyway, were about half his age. Barry shook his head; he was getting old. His goal was to make general before he retired, and the Andersonville project had seemed like the best way to increase his chances. The problem was, he had...
Disclaimer. This chapter, like all chapters of the Becoming Brandee strory, are intended for adult readers only Becoming Brandee Chapter Ten: Now this was totally unexpected. I had initially thought that my wife Julie and I were both to be dates for Richard and suddenly I become very aware that only my wife is Richard's date for the evening. And, once I open the front door, I will be meeting my very own date. "You look divine, Brandee," said my wife encouragingly, "Now make...
HALLE (Part 1) Hi, my name is Terrie and want to tell you about meeting the most wonderful girl, Halle. First of all, a little about me. I'm a bi-sexual girl, and have been since my early teens. I'm currently attending college and working on my Masters in psychology. I enjoy going to the various gay/lesbian clubs for the obvious reasons. And, it was at one of these clubs that I met Halle. I had just arrived in town to work on my Masters at City College, and had been told by some...
Andee folded down the top of her suitcase and zipped it shut. In a few hours she would be back in Canada, back with her husband – and after the past couple days – back on her back as she shared her experiences in Houston with the man waiting at home. She looked at Don propped up against the edge of the desk, hands stuffed into his jeans as her thoughts turned to the fun she had enjoyed on this trip. She could see the disappointment in his face as he knew their time together had come to an end....
Andee folded down the top of her suitcase and zipped it shut. In a few hours she would be back in Canada, back with her husband – and after the past couple days – back on her back as she shared her experiences in Houston with the man waiting at home. She looked at Don propped up against the edge of the desk, hands stuffed into his jeans as her thoughts turned to the fun she had enjoyed on this trip. She could see the disappointment in his face as he knew their time together had come to an end....
Wife LoversWhen we returned home I took Candace to my bedroom, laid her on her back on my bed, and tied her hands and ankles to the head and foot boards of the bed. I kissed her lightly on her lips, then began to kiss and nibble on her cheeks, eyelids, forehead, around to her ears and her neck. Her body was stock still but her breathing was quick and shallow. When I got to the front of her neck I began to work my way down the front of her body. I grabbed the scissors I left on the bed table and cut her...
Becoming Brandee Chapter one: My wife, Julie, peered into the office where I was sitting at one of computer desks typing an IM to a new friend I had recently met on the internet. "Is this the man you have been telling me about?" "It is him, honey. As I've told you he is very different than most of the others I have chatted with online and I find myself really liking him and the way he thinks." She smiled back, "A girl does need a good man to share some of...