Jerry Millie
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Chapter 1: Life hasn't been the best
Dad and I were returning from our hunting trip. We had just bagged an eight point buck, and I did the actual shooting this time. It was nice walking through the woods with my dad. A chance to get back to nature after a rough couple of years.
As dad pulled up at the general store I got out to check in the deer. Dad said he would wait in the truck. Chuck, the store owner, was checking in my deer when I was heard loud voices outside.
"Leave me the fuck alone," said a female voice.
"Come on, Millie, don't be like that," a man laughed.
"Please just leave me alone. I wasn't bothering you, Brad."
Then I heard a truck door slam and then my dad's voice.
"Leave the lady alone." It was my dad's voice.
"Mind your own business, old man, and get back in your truck."
I headed to the door and glanced out. There were three guys - Brad and a couple of his friends. They had Millie, an old friend of mine cornered by her car. Dad was coming to her rescue. I can guarantee that Brad didn't know it was my dad or he would have run in the opposite direction. I opened the old screen door and stepped out on the porch of the country store.
"Is there a problem out here, dad?"
Brad looked up and saw it was me. "Oh, fuck, I didn't know is was your dad, Jerry."
"Still up to your old ways, Brad? Will you ever learn?"
Brad looked at his buddies and said, "Come on, guys, let's get the hell out of here."
One of his buddies asked who I was and as Brad whispered to the guy all three of the chicken-livered guys jumped in their truck and took off.
You see, in this town I was labeled a mental case. I killed a guy when I was a teenager. I'll tell you more on that story later.
Millie came running up on the porch and gave me a big hug.
"Jerry, you're home. God, it's so good to see you. Peggy said you were moving back. How long have you been home?"
"Been home going on a month. I started a welding shop in the old brick garage. If you got anything that needs welding, you just stop by."
I liked her ever since I was a kid. My kid crush, I guess. Hell, we might have been together if I wasn't sent away at fourteen.
Millie looked over at dad. "Thank you for helping me out, Mr. Jones, I really do appreciate it. Those guys just won't leave me alone. I'm glad you and Jerry showed up."
"Anytime you need anything, Millie, just give us a call. You're one of Peggy's best friends, after all."
Peggy was my older sister by about a year and a half. Millie and she always hung together. Peggy used to write me and said that Millie had a crush on me. Of course that was ten years ago when I was around fifteen or so.
"Millie, Peg's coming over tonight with her family. Why don't you stop over? We still live up on the ridge; we can all get together and talk over old times, or at least the better ones."
"I'd like that, Jerry. I'll see you tonight. Bye, Mr. Jones, and thanks again."
As she got to her car she turned around, "Oh, what time, Jerry?"
"Around six would be fine," I answered. She smiled, closed her door and headed up the road.
Dad smiled at me, "I always liked that girl," he said. We got into the truck and headed home and hung up the deer from a tree to let it bleed out.
Well, I guess it's about time to tell you about my wonderful life. Yeah, it was wonderful alright, if you like pain and suffering. Some of it maybe I deserved but not all of it.
I'm a country boy, and I always was. I loved living the country life. I wasn't big on book learning and the like. Don't get me wrong here - I am actually pretty smart. Maybe my English isn't the best but who gives a shit? I sure don't. I love hunting and fishing and repairing things. When I was just a kid, me and dad would repair the old cars and trucks. We had a small farm with a few chicken and cows. We didn't have horses. Peggy always wanted one but dad always said, "No, we couldn't afford one."
Peg has a few horses now. She and her husband, Roger, own a ranch about twenty miles from us. I guess she's still a country girl too. They have three little ones - kids, not horses - all under the age of seven. She had it hard for awhile after I was sent up but Roger was a good guy and took care of her. Now they have a nice family, a ranch and a pretty decent life.
The trouble all began when I was about thirteen. We didn't have much but we did okay. For some reason, guys thought because we were somewhat on the poor side that my sister would be easy. Well, she wasn't. She was a happy teenager and she, unlike me, did good in school. One day after school Peg was going down the holler - that's just a valley between two hills - to go see Millie. I was out with my 22 rifle hunting for squirrel when I heard Peg's voice.
"Don't touch me, Jed, leave me alone."
"Come on Peg, you know you want it."
"Please, guys, just go away and leave me alone."
I looked down over the hill and there stood Peg with Brad behind her and Jed in front of her. I started climbing down the hill when Brad grabbed Peg's arms and Jed reached forward and started to unbutton her blouse. Peg was kicking at Jed and he told Brad to hold her tighter. Jed reached out and squeezed Peg's tit. I heard Peg scream out, "Don't do this, guys. Just let me go."
They were both laughing when I got to the bottom of the hill. For some strange reason I put down my rifle and pulled out my hunting knife and ran up to Jed and buried it into his back. He screamed out as he fell to the ground. I held up the knife and looked at Brad.
"Please, Jerry, we weren't going to do anything. We were just playing."
Peg stopped me from going after Brad as he ran down the valley. She was crying as she hugged me. Jed was lying there on the ground unconscious, maybe even dead. Peg and I ran home to tell mom and dad. By the time we got there the county sheriff was there. Brad must have gotten hold of them and told them some lies. The sheriff took my knife and called an ambulance and he put me in the back seat of the cruiser as we headed back to where Jed laid.
Jed was dead. I had killed him. My knife penetrated his kidney and he died. I was taken into custody and charged with second degree murder. In court Peg told the jury her story and how her little brother protected her against the two older and bigger guys.
Brad said that he and Jed were just playing. They weren't going to harm Peg. Of course the only proof was our testimony and Jed's dead body. I was convicted on a lesser charge of manslaughter and sentenced to juvenile prison. The court thought I was unstable and I spent three years in a mental institution and then two more years in the prison system. I was released after my eighteenth birthday.
My mom was one of these sickly women. She was always coughing and was extremely skinny. I loved her. There wasn't a nicer or kinder woman on this universe. I know what I had done took years away from her life. I cried every time I was alone. I might have been a brave kid but I wanted my mom. I really missed her.
The reason I spent so much time in the mental ward was because while I was there my mom died. I went into hysterics. I wanted my mom and now she was dead. I was released into police custody for one day for the funeral. Other than my dad or sister, I wasn't allowed near anyone. I remembered seeing Millie from a distance. I didn't even get close enough to say anything. She smiled at me while she had tears in her eyes. I didn't break down at the funeral. I only cried when I was alone.
It was hard on my dad. He was alone then. He had Peg there for a few years but you know it's not the same thing. But, if it wasn't for Peg taking care of him, it would have been a lot worse.
At school Peg had to put up with a few hecklers but that's when she met Roger. They started dating. Roger's family had money even though not rich. At first his parents didn't like him dating Peg because of me. Peg sat down with his mom and dad one day and told them the truth - the real truth - that she was being molested and I came in and stopped it.
Roger's parents saw Peg in a different light after that. They realized that, even though we were poor, our family meant everything to us. Peg and Roger were married right after high school and of course now had their family.
I spent my time in the mental ward and then prison. When I got out, I went to a half-way house and studied for my GED, then I went to a welding school. I met Maria while attending the school. She was taking classes to become a cosmetologist, a fancy name for a barber or hair dresser.
We were dating and of course we had sex. Maria was my first and only woman. She got pregnant so we got married, and rented a little apartment. I wrote home and told my dad and sister. We didn't tell them till after we got hitched. We just went to a local judge and got married. Not a whole lot of fanfare.
Maria didn't have any family. She was raised in foster homes. I think her parents were put away for doing drugs. I never liked the big city. I told Maria there was too much crime when she looked at me and smiled. She didn't have to remind me of my past. I knew it all too well.
After the baby was born, Peg and Roger came with the kids to see us. It was the first time I had seen her since mom's funeral. She looked good and the kids were cute as buttons. At that time she had two and one in the belly. She told me Roger was a great dad. I actually gave the guy a hug and told him thanks for taking care of my family.
They stayed for a couple of days. They had to stay at the motel cause we didn't have the room. We did get together and do things. Roger paid for most of it which was good, since we didn't have much. It was a small apartment, hardly big enough for me, Marie and little Jerry. Yeah, we named him after me - he was Jerry Jr. We called him JJ. It could have been JJJ for Jerry Jones Jr. but that was a bit much.
About a year after they came to see us, Maria was killed in an auto accident on the damn freeway. I hated those roads; the cars just went too fast. Again I was devastated. I had lost another loved one and I was only twenty-three. Damn, did life ever deal me a bad hand. I had to get out of the fucking city. I called dad and asked if I could come home. All I had left was JJ and my family.
Of course dad said we were more than welcome. Maria and I didn't have any insurance so it took what little savings we had to bury her. Little JJ who was now three and I took what belongings we had left and headed back to the country where we belonged.
It sure was nice being back here at home. It just felt right, standing here having a beer, and passing the time, waiting for Millie.
Millie showed up right on time. She gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. I was a little embarrassed when she pressed her breasts against my chest. She had some mighty fine big ones. Hers were a whole lot bigger than Maria's, who only had a handful but they were nice.
Millie hugged dad too and then in walked JJ. He walked up to Millie and called her mommy. He heard Peg's kids say it, so he said it to Peg and now Millie.
"Hi, sweetheart, you are one cute little fella, just like your daddy."
"Are you mommy?" JJ asked Millie.
I had tears in my eyes and had to turn away when Millie said, " You can call me mommy if you like."
We were talking when Peg and her clan showed up. Everyone was saying hi to each other and all the kids except Peg's baby were running through the house.
Peg said, "Kids don't mess up anything." Then when she looked around and said, "Dad, you guys need a woman around here. At least to help cleanup the place. Any damage the kids do will be an improvement," she laughed.
Dad told Peg that the place looked good, because we spent two hours cleaning it up before anybody arrived. Millie had to laugh and looked over at a laughing Peg. We all looked at Roger and he said he wasn't taking sides in this no-win situation. He had us all laughing.
Peg asked me and Roger to go get the food she brought, out of the car. Dad told her we had meat and she asked him if he made potato salad, macaroni salad, baked beans, and corn.
Dad looked at Peg and said, "You win this one, Peg, because I'm hungry and you cook just like your mom used to." It was a sad, yet happy moment.
I broke in and volunteered that dad and I picked up some chips and dip, some beer and pop, even milk for the kids.
"Wow, very nutritious guys. Way to go," Peg laughed.
"Millie tell me what you've been doing the last few years."
"Well, it isn't very happy news. Peg knows all about me so I know she doesn't want to hear it all over again. How about I just tell you some of the better stuff and maybe later we can discuss the past? "
"Sounds good to me," I replied.
"After graduation, I moved to Indiana to live with my aunt. I went to school and took up bookkeeping. I got a job at H & R Block doing taxes. Then I worked at an insurance office. I guess I have a head for numbers. Eventually I met a guy and we got married and it didn't work out. So last year I moved back home with mom. Dad passed away about two years ago and I work at the bank in town. That takes me to now. Not a very exciting life but that's about it."
After we all talked, we had dinner. Just like old times but mom wasn't there. It was now Peg that held the family together.
"Jerry, did you know when we were all kids that Millie had a crush on you?" Peg asked.
Millie turned four shades of red. "God, Peg, did you have to tell him? That was probably ten years ago."
"Is it true, Millie?" I smiled. "I liked you back then, too. I was backward and always afraid to tell you."
"Yes, Jerry, it's true. This is embarrassing."
"Why, Millie? You still like my little brother." Peg was laughing.
"Peg, you're supposed to be my friend. That was a secret."
"Secret, hell. I want you and Jerry together and you two are like two backwoods people on their first date. Jerry, do you still like Millie?"
"Peg!"
"Peg, nothing. If you like her, take her for a walk. Show her the barn, for Pete's sake."
I was looking at a red faced Millie. "Millie, would you like to see the barn?" I asked. Everyone broke out in laughter.
"That a way bro, lay on the romance." Peg said still laughing.
"Come on, Millie. Let's go take a walk before Peg says something really embarrassing."
As we were walking out the door, I turned and saw Millie mouth "Thank you," to Peg. I think my big sister set me up but I couldn't be happier.
Chapter 2: Millie's storyI walked out of the house with Jerry. I still had feelings for this guy. I don't know why. When we were kids I always wanted him to notice me. He was always the bashful country boy, cute but didn't know it, quiet but had a way of talking with his eyes. I was best friends with his sister, Peg. We were a little older than Jerry but I didn't care. There was just something special about him. He was always protective about his family. They were poor but proud. It was easy to see that in Jerry.
When I heard he was going to be sent away for killing another guy, I cried for days. I knew that, for him to do something like that, the guy probably deserved it. I don't mean deserved to die but for Jerry to stab him. Jerry wouldn't hurt anyone unless provoked.
I looked at Jerry as we were taking a walk and said, "Jerry, you know that I want to get to know you again. Peg let everyone know."
"Is this the part where you want to tell me all the bad shit that happened in your life, Millie?"
"Yes, Jerry, there is no way around it. Even if you just want to be friends, I need for you to know everything. The only person I have ever told all this stuff to is Peg. Gosh, you have a great sister."
"Look, Millie, I killed a guy. There is nothing that you could have done worse than that. So do you really want to tell me everything?"
"I killed my baby." She started crying.
"What? You killed a baby?"
"I had an abortion, Jerry. I killed my baby." Jerry put his arms around me and said he wanted to hear the whole story.
"I was wild in high school, Jerry. You were the guy I liked and you were gone. I started dating a lot of guys. Many of them would want to touch my boobs and have sex with me. I kept telling the guys no. I wasn't a slut but a lot of people thought I was because of a big mistake I made one time."
"Does this have something to do with Brad and his two friends today?"
"Kind of. When I was back in high school, I dated Brad and his two friends. I was young and let them touch my boobs but wouldn't let them go any further. After graduation, Bill, one of the guys with Brad today asked me out. He took me dancing to a private club. I couldn't believe that this club even existed. I was pretty sure everyone there was underage. Well, anyway we all started drinking. I got really plastered. I passed out, and when I woke up, I was lying on a bed and Bill was fucking me. He took my virginity and it hurt like hell. I was too drunk to move."
"Millie, this is hurting you to tell me this. You don't have to say anymore."
"I do have to tell you, I want you to know everything. I don't want any secrets between us. Anyway, I was finally glad when Bill came. It didn't hurt as much with all the blood and creme. Then I glanced over and Jim and Brad were watching us. I laid there barely able to move as Bill got off me and Jim stuck his thing in me. There was nothing I could do, Jerry - nothing."
"I wanted to get my mind off of it so badly that I thought of you. I pretended it was you making love to me. I know it sounds silly but that was the only way I could make it through the ordeal. Jim came in me and then Brad started humping me. I know I was reacting to his fucking me because I was thinking of you. Stupid Brad thought he was doing something but it wasn't him, Jerry, it was just the thought of you."
I had to stop talking for a moment. I was crying now and Jerry put his arms around me and just held me. He didn't try to feel my boobs even though I would have let him. He held me till I was ready to continue.
"Bill and Jim each took me again. Then they all laughed and left me lying there. I got up and took a shower. I tried to wash it all away but it's not possible. I washed for probably a half hour. I went to the bed and pulled the dirty sheets off the bed, locked the door and then cried myself to sleep. I got up the next morning and went home. Mom and dad were really pissed at me for not calling. I told them I spent the night with Peg and they told me they called Peg's and I wasn't there. Even though I was then out of school I was grounded. I had a job over at K-Mart and they drove me to work and then picked me up and drove me home. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere."
I continued, "I missed my next two periods and was scared to death. I had to tell mom and dad. They sent me to the doctor and he confirmed that I was indeed pregnant. They ask me who the father was and when I told them the truth they didn't believe me, I guess because I didn't tell them the truth in the beginning. It's hard to believe someone after they have lied to you. I guess that's why I need to tell you everything. No secrets between us, Jerry, please. They sent me to live out of state with my aunt, and they arranged for an abortion. Then they decided it was best for me to live with my aunt and go to school in Indiana."
"What about this marriage, Millie?"
"I guess I wanted out. I wanted a life of my own. After I got my associate's degree I got a job at an insurance office. I got to know one of the agents and we started dating. Eventually he asked me to marry him and I did. I liked him a lot but didn't love him. I guess I felt he was my ticket out of my aunt's place. Anyway, I was a good wife. I did everything for him. I even enjoyed the sex. He was a pretty good lover. After a couple of years I found him cheating on me. He said he was working late but he was out having sex with other women. He admitted it and we didn't have enough love to hold our marriage together. So we got divorced and I moved back here."
"So what about Brad, Bill and Jim. How are they back in the picture.?"
"They aren't, Jerry. They came by the bank a few months ago and found out I work there. They started their shit with me, the kind of stuff you heard today. Bill and Brad are even married now. Jim is the Sheriff's son and is divorced. They think I want to be with them. I guess they are still thinking about what happened years ago. I'm afraid of them. I'm really afraid."
"Do they know about the abortion?"
"No, other than my parents and aunt, the only person I told was Peg and now you. I'm a grown woman now but still have this crush on little Jerry Jones. I can understand if you want nothing to do with me, I really can, but I would like to at least be friends with you."
"Millie, I have to tell you that Maria is the only woman I have ever had sex with. I'm probably not a great lover. I like to do it but I don't know if I'm any good."
"I'm not a woman of the world either. Other than being raped I have only been with one other man. Yes, he was good, I guess. At least it felt good. The other three don't count."
"Okay, this is all going pretty fast for me. I'm still a country boy. I met you today for the first time in over ten years. God, I don't know how to say this."
"What is it, Jerry? You don't want to see me?"
"Hell, no, that's not it. I want to have sex with you. I'm not stupid. I like you - no, I more than like you - but until we make love... Millie, I want you but don't know if I could say I love you till we fuck. Damn, that's what I mean but it didn't sound good."
"It sounded good to me, Jerry. I can go for that. We'll have sex but you will have to wear a condom, unless we get married. Boy, that's putting the cart before the horse."
"Let's make a date and see how it goes. You have to promise to have sex with me so we can see if it's sex or love or if I'm any good."
"It's a deal. When is our date?"
"Saturday - this Saturday - I don't want to wait. I did enough waiting in my life. Let's ask Peg and Roger to go out and then you can come home with me."
"No, you have to get a motel. I can't make it with you with your father thinking I'm some kind of slut," she smiled.
"Okay, let's go tell Peg and Roger."
We walked back into the house and Peg asked, "Well, Millie, how did it go?"
"Can I talk to you in private, Peg?"
"Sure, no problem." We walked into another room.
"I told Jerry everything, and I mean everything. You're right, I still do care for him. We want to get to know each other better. We want to go on a date Saturday and would like you and Roger to go with us."
"Sure, I don't think Roger would mind. You have to get dad to watch JJ. Think you can do it?"
"God, I hope so. Let's go see what happens."
As I walked back in the room, little JJ came up to me jabbering, "Mommy."
I whispered in his little ear so I thought no one else could hear. "I sure hope so, honey."
Dad and I were returning from our hunting trip. We had just bagged an eight point buck, and I did the actual shooting this time. It was nice walking through the woods with my dad. A chance to get back to nature after a rough couple of years.
As dad pulled up at the general store I got out to check in the deer. Dad said he would wait in the truck. Chuck, the store owner, was checking in my deer when I was heard loud voices outside.
"Leave me the fuck alone," said a female voice.
"Come on, Millie, don't be like that," a man laughed.
"Please just leave me alone. I wasn't bothering you, Brad."
Then I heard a truck door slam and then my dad's voice.
"Leave the lady alone." It was my dad's voice.
"Mind your own business, old man, and get back in your truck."
I headed to the door and glanced out. There were three guys - Brad and a couple of his friends. They had Millie, an old friend of mine cornered by her car. Dad was coming to her rescue. I can guarantee that Brad didn't know it was my dad or he would have run in the opposite direction. I opened the old screen door and stepped out on the porch of the country store.
"Is there a problem out here, dad?"
Brad looked up and saw it was me. "Oh, fuck, I didn't know is was your dad, Jerry."
"Still up to your old ways, Brad? Will you ever learn?"
Brad looked at his buddies and said, "Come on, guys, let's get the hell out of here."
One of his buddies asked who I was and as Brad whispered to the guy all three of the chicken-livered guys jumped in their truck and took off.
You see, in this town I was labeled a mental case. I killed a guy when I was a teenager. I'll tell you more on that story later.
Millie came running up on the porch and gave me a big hug.
"Jerry, you're home. God, it's so good to see you. Peggy said you were moving back. How long have you been home?"
"Been home going on a month. I started a welding shop in the old brick garage. If you got anything that needs welding, you just stop by."
I liked her ever since I was a kid. My kid crush, I guess. Hell, we might have been together if I wasn't sent away at fourteen.
Millie looked over at dad. "Thank you for helping me out, Mr. Jones, I really do appreciate it. Those guys just won't leave me alone. I'm glad you and Jerry showed up."
"Anytime you need anything, Millie, just give us a call. You're one of Peggy's best friends, after all."
Peggy was my older sister by about a year and a half. Millie and she always hung together. Peggy used to write me and said that Millie had a crush on me. Of course that was ten years ago when I was around fifteen or so.
"Millie, Peg's coming over tonight with her family. Why don't you stop over? We still live up on the ridge; we can all get together and talk over old times, or at least the better ones."
"I'd like that, Jerry. I'll see you tonight. Bye, Mr. Jones, and thanks again."
As she got to her car she turned around, "Oh, what time, Jerry?"
"Around six would be fine," I answered. She smiled, closed her door and headed up the road.
Dad smiled at me, "I always liked that girl," he said. We got into the truck and headed home and hung up the deer from a tree to let it bleed out.
Well, I guess it's about time to tell you about my wonderful life. Yeah, it was wonderful alright, if you like pain and suffering. Some of it maybe I deserved but not all of it.
I'm a country boy, and I always was. I loved living the country life. I wasn't big on book learning and the like. Don't get me wrong here - I am actually pretty smart. Maybe my English isn't the best but who gives a shit? I sure don't. I love hunting and fishing and repairing things. When I was just a kid, me and dad would repair the old cars and trucks. We had a small farm with a few chicken and cows. We didn't have horses. Peggy always wanted one but dad always said, "No, we couldn't afford one."
Peg has a few horses now. She and her husband, Roger, own a ranch about twenty miles from us. I guess she's still a country girl too. They have three little ones - kids, not horses - all under the age of seven. She had it hard for awhile after I was sent up but Roger was a good guy and took care of her. Now they have a nice family, a ranch and a pretty decent life.
The trouble all began when I was about thirteen. We didn't have much but we did okay. For some reason, guys thought because we were somewhat on the poor side that my sister would be easy. Well, she wasn't. She was a happy teenager and she, unlike me, did good in school. One day after school Peg was going down the holler - that's just a valley between two hills - to go see Millie. I was out with my 22 rifle hunting for squirrel when I heard Peg's voice.
"Don't touch me, Jed, leave me alone."
"Come on Peg, you know you want it."
"Please, guys, just go away and leave me alone."
I looked down over the hill and there stood Peg with Brad behind her and Jed in front of her. I started climbing down the hill when Brad grabbed Peg's arms and Jed reached forward and started to unbutton her blouse. Peg was kicking at Jed and he told Brad to hold her tighter. Jed reached out and squeezed Peg's tit. I heard Peg scream out, "Don't do this, guys. Just let me go."
They were both laughing when I got to the bottom of the hill. For some strange reason I put down my rifle and pulled out my hunting knife and ran up to Jed and buried it into his back. He screamed out as he fell to the ground. I held up the knife and looked at Brad.
"Please, Jerry, we weren't going to do anything. We were just playing."
Peg stopped me from going after Brad as he ran down the valley. She was crying as she hugged me. Jed was lying there on the ground unconscious, maybe even dead. Peg and I ran home to tell mom and dad. By the time we got there the county sheriff was there. Brad must have gotten hold of them and told them some lies. The sheriff took my knife and called an ambulance and he put me in the back seat of the cruiser as we headed back to where Jed laid.
Jed was dead. I had killed him. My knife penetrated his kidney and he died. I was taken into custody and charged with second degree murder. In court Peg told the jury her story and how her little brother protected her against the two older and bigger guys.
Brad said that he and Jed were just playing. They weren't going to harm Peg. Of course the only proof was our testimony and Jed's dead body. I was convicted on a lesser charge of manslaughter and sentenced to juvenile prison. The court thought I was unstable and I spent three years in a mental institution and then two more years in the prison system. I was released after my eighteenth birthday.
My mom was one of these sickly women. She was always coughing and was extremely skinny. I loved her. There wasn't a nicer or kinder woman on this universe. I know what I had done took years away from her life. I cried every time I was alone. I might have been a brave kid but I wanted my mom. I really missed her.
The reason I spent so much time in the mental ward was because while I was there my mom died. I went into hysterics. I wanted my mom and now she was dead. I was released into police custody for one day for the funeral. Other than my dad or sister, I wasn't allowed near anyone. I remembered seeing Millie from a distance. I didn't even get close enough to say anything. She smiled at me while she had tears in her eyes. I didn't break down at the funeral. I only cried when I was alone.
It was hard on my dad. He was alone then. He had Peg there for a few years but you know it's not the same thing. But, if it wasn't for Peg taking care of him, it would have been a lot worse.
At school Peg had to put up with a few hecklers but that's when she met Roger. They started dating. Roger's family had money even though not rich. At first his parents didn't like him dating Peg because of me. Peg sat down with his mom and dad one day and told them the truth - the real truth - that she was being molested and I came in and stopped it.
Roger's parents saw Peg in a different light after that. They realized that, even though we were poor, our family meant everything to us. Peg and Roger were married right after high school and of course now had their family.
I spent my time in the mental ward and then prison. When I got out, I went to a half-way house and studied for my GED, then I went to a welding school. I met Maria while attending the school. She was taking classes to become a cosmetologist, a fancy name for a barber or hair dresser.
We were dating and of course we had sex. Maria was my first and only woman. She got pregnant so we got married, and rented a little apartment. I wrote home and told my dad and sister. We didn't tell them till after we got hitched. We just went to a local judge and got married. Not a whole lot of fanfare.
Maria didn't have any family. She was raised in foster homes. I think her parents were put away for doing drugs. I never liked the big city. I told Maria there was too much crime when she looked at me and smiled. She didn't have to remind me of my past. I knew it all too well.
After the baby was born, Peg and Roger came with the kids to see us. It was the first time I had seen her since mom's funeral. She looked good and the kids were cute as buttons. At that time she had two and one in the belly. She told me Roger was a great dad. I actually gave the guy a hug and told him thanks for taking care of my family.
They stayed for a couple of days. They had to stay at the motel cause we didn't have the room. We did get together and do things. Roger paid for most of it which was good, since we didn't have much. It was a small apartment, hardly big enough for me, Marie and little Jerry. Yeah, we named him after me - he was Jerry Jr. We called him JJ. It could have been JJJ for Jerry Jones Jr. but that was a bit much.
About a year after they came to see us, Maria was killed in an auto accident on the damn freeway. I hated those roads; the cars just went too fast. Again I was devastated. I had lost another loved one and I was only twenty-three. Damn, did life ever deal me a bad hand. I had to get out of the fucking city. I called dad and asked if I could come home. All I had left was JJ and my family.
Of course dad said we were more than welcome. Maria and I didn't have any insurance so it took what little savings we had to bury her. Little JJ who was now three and I took what belongings we had left and headed back to the country where we belonged.
It sure was nice being back here at home. It just felt right, standing here having a beer, and passing the time, waiting for Millie.
Millie showed up right on time. She gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. I was a little embarrassed when she pressed her breasts against my chest. She had some mighty fine big ones. Hers were a whole lot bigger than Maria's, who only had a handful but they were nice.
Millie hugged dad too and then in walked JJ. He walked up to Millie and called her mommy. He heard Peg's kids say it, so he said it to Peg and now Millie.
"Hi, sweetheart, you are one cute little fella, just like your daddy."
"Are you mommy?" JJ asked Millie.
I had tears in my eyes and had to turn away when Millie said, " You can call me mommy if you like."
We were talking when Peg and her clan showed up. Everyone was saying hi to each other and all the kids except Peg's baby were running through the house.
Peg said, "Kids don't mess up anything." Then when she looked around and said, "Dad, you guys need a woman around here. At least to help cleanup the place. Any damage the kids do will be an improvement," she laughed.
Dad told Peg that the place looked good, because we spent two hours cleaning it up before anybody arrived. Millie had to laugh and looked over at a laughing Peg. We all looked at Roger and he said he wasn't taking sides in this no-win situation. He had us all laughing.
Peg asked me and Roger to go get the food she brought, out of the car. Dad told her we had meat and she asked him if he made potato salad, macaroni salad, baked beans, and corn.
Dad looked at Peg and said, "You win this one, Peg, because I'm hungry and you cook just like your mom used to." It was a sad, yet happy moment.
I broke in and volunteered that dad and I picked up some chips and dip, some beer and pop, even milk for the kids.
"Wow, very nutritious guys. Way to go," Peg laughed.
"Millie tell me what you've been doing the last few years."
"Well, it isn't very happy news. Peg knows all about me so I know she doesn't want to hear it all over again. How about I just tell you some of the better stuff and maybe later we can discuss the past? "
"Sounds good to me," I replied.
"After graduation, I moved to Indiana to live with my aunt. I went to school and took up bookkeeping. I got a job at H & R Block doing taxes. Then I worked at an insurance office. I guess I have a head for numbers. Eventually I met a guy and we got married and it didn't work out. So last year I moved back home with mom. Dad passed away about two years ago and I work at the bank in town. That takes me to now. Not a very exciting life but that's about it."
After we all talked, we had dinner. Just like old times but mom wasn't there. It was now Peg that held the family together.
"Jerry, did you know when we were all kids that Millie had a crush on you?" Peg asked.
Millie turned four shades of red. "God, Peg, did you have to tell him? That was probably ten years ago."
"Is it true, Millie?" I smiled. "I liked you back then, too. I was backward and always afraid to tell you."
"Yes, Jerry, it's true. This is embarrassing."
"Why, Millie? You still like my little brother." Peg was laughing.
"Peg, you're supposed to be my friend. That was a secret."
"Secret, hell. I want you and Jerry together and you two are like two backwoods people on their first date. Jerry, do you still like Millie?"
"Peg!"
"Peg, nothing. If you like her, take her for a walk. Show her the barn, for Pete's sake."
I was looking at a red faced Millie. "Millie, would you like to see the barn?" I asked. Everyone broke out in laughter.
"That a way bro, lay on the romance." Peg said still laughing.
"Come on, Millie. Let's go take a walk before Peg says something really embarrassing."
As we were walking out the door, I turned and saw Millie mouth "Thank you," to Peg. I think my big sister set me up but I couldn't be happier.
Chapter 2: Millie's story
I walked out of the house with Jerry. I still had feelings for this guy. I don't know why. When we were kids I always wanted him to notice me. He was always the bashful country boy, cute but didn't know it, quiet but had a way of talking with his eyes. I was best friends with his sister, Peg. We were a little older than Jerry but I didn't care. There was just something special about him. He was always protective about his family. They were poor but proud. It was easy to see that in Jerry.
When I heard he was going to be sent away for killing another guy, I cried for days. I knew that, for him to do something like that, the guy probably deserved it. I don't mean deserved to die but for Jerry to stab him. Jerry wouldn't hurt anyone unless provoked.
I looked at Jerry as we were taking a walk and said, "Jerry, you know that I want to get to know you again. Peg let everyone know."
"Is this the part where you want to tell me all the bad shit that happened in your life, Millie?"
"Yes, Jerry, there is no way around it. Even if you just want to be friends, I need for you to know everything. The only person I have ever told all this stuff to is Peg. Gosh, you have a great sister."
"Look, Millie, I killed a guy. There is nothing that you could have done worse than that. So do you really want to tell me everything?"
"I killed my baby." She started crying.
"What? You killed a baby?"
"I had an abortion, Jerry. I killed my baby." Jerry put his arms around me and said he wanted to hear the whole story.
"I was wild in high school, Jerry. You were the guy I liked and you were gone. I started dating a lot of guys. Many of them would want to touch my boobs and have sex with me. I kept telling the guys no. I wasn't a slut but a lot of people thought I was because of a big mistake I made one time."
"Does this have something to do with Brad and his two friends today?"
"Kind of. When I was back in high school, I dated Brad and his two friends. I was young and let them touch my boobs but wouldn't let them go any further. After graduation, Bill, one of the guys with Brad today asked me out. He took me dancing to a private club. I couldn't believe that this club even existed. I was pretty sure everyone there was underage. Well, anyway we all started drinking. I got really plastered. I passed out, and when I woke up, I was lying on a bed and Bill was fucking me. He took my virginity and it hurt like hell. I was too drunk to move."
"Millie, this is hurting you to tell me this. You don't have to say anymore."
"I do have to tell you, I want you to know everything. I don't want any secrets between us. Anyway, I was finally glad when Bill came. It didn't hurt as much with all the blood and creme. Then I glanced over and Jim and Brad were watching us. I laid there barely able to move as Bill got off me and Jim stuck his thing in me. There was nothing I could do, Jerry - nothing."
"I wanted to get my mind off of it so badly that I thought of you. I pretended it was you making love to me. I know it sounds silly but that was the only way I could make it through the ordeal. Jim came in me and then Brad started humping me. I know I was reacting to his fucking me because I was thinking of you. Stupid Brad thought he was doing something but it wasn't him, Jerry, it was just the thought of you."
I had to stop talking for a moment. I was crying now and Jerry put his arms around me and just held me. He didn't try to feel my boobs even though I would have let him. He held me till I was ready to continue.
"Bill and Jim each took me again. Then they all laughed and left me lying there. I got up and took a shower. I tried to wash it all away but it's not possible. I washed for probably a half hour. I went to the bed and pulled the dirty sheets off the bed, locked the door and then cried myself to sleep. I got up the next morning and went home. Mom and dad were really pissed at me for not calling. I told them I spent the night with Peg and they told me they called Peg's and I wasn't there. Even though I was then out of school I was grounded. I had a job over at K-Mart and they drove me to work and then picked me up and drove me home. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere."
I continued, "I missed my next two periods and was scared to death. I had to tell mom and dad. They sent me to the doctor and he confirmed that I was indeed pregnant. They ask me who the father was and when I told them the truth they didn't believe me, I guess because I didn't tell them the truth in the beginning. It's hard to believe someone after they have lied to you. I guess that's why I need to tell you everything. No secrets between us, Jerry, please. They sent me to live out of state with my aunt, and they arranged for an abortion. Then they decided it was best for me to live with my aunt and go to school in Indiana."
"What about this marriage, Millie?"
"I guess I wanted out. I wanted a life of my own. After I got my associate's degree I got a job at an insurance office. I got to know one of the agents and we started dating. Eventually he asked me to marry him and I did. I liked him a lot but didn't love him. I guess I felt he was my ticket out of my aunt's place. Anyway, I was a good wife. I did everything for him. I even enjoyed the sex. He was a pretty good lover. After a couple of years I found him cheating on me. He said he was working late but he was out having sex with other women. He admitted it and we didn't have enough love to hold our marriage together. So we got divorced and I moved back here."
"So what about Brad, Bill and Jim. How are they back in the picture.?"
"They aren't, Jerry. They came by the bank a few months ago and found out I work there. They started their shit with me, the kind of stuff you heard today. Bill and Brad are even married now. Jim is the Sheriff's son and is divorced. They think I want to be with them. I guess they are still thinking about what happened years ago. I'm afraid of them. I'm really afraid."
"Do they know about the abortion?"
"No, other than my parents and aunt, the only person I told was Peg and now you. I'm a grown woman now but still have this crush on little Jerry Jones. I can understand if you want nothing to do with me, I really can, but I would like to at least be friends with you."
"Millie, I have to tell you that Maria is the only woman I have ever had sex with. I'm probably not a great lover. I like to do it but I don't know if I'm any good."
"I'm not a woman of the world either. Other than being raped I have only been with one other man. Yes, he was good, I guess. At least it felt good. The other three don't count."
"Okay, this is all going pretty fast for me. I'm still a country boy. I met you today for the first time in over ten years. God, I don't know how to say this."
"What is it, Jerry? You don't want to see me?"
"Hell, no, that's not it. I want to have sex with you. I'm not stupid. I like you - no, I more than like you - but until we make love... Millie, I want you but don't know if I could say I love you till we fuck. Damn, that's what I mean but it didn't sound good."
"It sounded good to me, Jerry. I can go for that. We'll have sex but you will have to wear a condom, unless we get married. Boy, that's putting the cart before the horse."
"Let's make a date and see how it goes. You have to promise to have sex with me so we can see if it's sex or love or if I'm any good."
"It's a deal. When is our date?"
"Saturday - this Saturday - I don't want to wait. I did enough waiting in my life. Let's ask Peg and Roger to go out and then you can come home with me."
"No, you have to get a motel. I can't make it with you with your father thinking I'm some kind of slut," she smiled.
"Okay, let's go tell Peg and Roger."
We walked back into the house and Peg asked, "Well, Millie, how did it go?"
"Can I talk to you in private, Peg?"
"Sure, no problem." We walked into another room.
"I told Jerry everything, and I mean everything. You're right, I still do care for him. We want to get to know each other better. We want to go on a date Saturday and would like you and Roger to go with us."
"Sure, I don't think Roger would mind. You have to get dad to watch JJ. Think you can do it?"
"God, I hope so. Let's go see what happens."
As I walked back in the room, little JJ came up to me jabbering, "Mommy."
I whispered in his little ear so I thought no one else could hear. "I sure hope so, honey."
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Lesley
- 30.01.2021
- 8
- 0
