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I had no idea the house would seem so empty, after Charlie left for college. I had spent the first week cleaning, then the second week reading all the magazines I had laying around the house. It was during the third week that I came to realize that my seventeen year old son was not just my best friend, he was my only friend.

He had been gone less than a month, and I was just as lost as I had been after Edward was killed. For the last four years I had grieved for Edward. As I worked my way back to reality, Charlie had been there for me. During that period of my life Charlie was only the reason I got out of bed in the mornings.

My social life revolved around him. His activities consumed me. We even had a standing Friday night date. Dinner and a movie at a place one of us chose. We rotated who got to pick. In some ways we were like a married couple, but without the sex of course. Charlie worried about me all the time. Probably more than any other child of a single mother.

At first I was too emotional to even think about dating. After a while I just didn't feel the need to date. Charlie dated of course, but I never did. During his third week at college I realized that not dating had been a mistake. Suddenly I was alone and didn't really know how to change things for the better.

Since I had a basket filled with women's magazines, I spent almost a whole day reading articles about how divorced women could start again. I was still thin and reasonably attractive so their suggestion seemed reasonable. Put on something revealing and go out to a place where single men were to be found. The alternative was to look to friends to suggest friends of friends.

The problem was I had no idea what to do once I was in a strange place. I was in college the last time I went to a club alone. Even so I got the name of a fancy motel lounge from a single mom I had known for years, The night I finally worked up the courage to try the place, I took a very long shower. After the shower I spent anther half hour getting dressed,

The half hour was spent dressing and then changing my mind. One top seemed to show too much skin while another made me look like an old lady. I wore that top often, but I had never realized how old it made me look. I was almost crazy by the time I settled on the little black dress with just a little cleavage showing. Since I didn't have a lot to show, it seemed like a good compromise.

The motel was one of the fancier ones in the downtown area. I had heard of their restaurant but had no idea there even was a lounge. When I went inside I realized why. The restaurant would seat probably a two hundred people in lavish style. The lounge was a different thing altogether, The bar area was very small in comparison. It had only eight barstools. There were ten table with chairs for four people each. The motel had designed the lounge for travelers to have a drink before bedtime. The hotel had obviously planned so that it was not the kind of a place where guests would want to spend a large amount of time. That said, my friend advised me that the now you were now."

few men who came in would be much safer than those in a dance club. She said it was a much more mature and upscale customer base.

I took a seat at the bar, since I was alone. There were two tables with a couple of men at each. Except for one man at the far end of the small bar, I was alone with the bartender. "What can I get you Ma'am?"

"I'm not much of a drinker, what would you suggest?"

"Do you like fruit drinks?"

"Yes, : I replied. "But I think white wine would be better, since I have to drive." I seldom drank anything, but I had drank white wine once in a while at college.

"Here you go, compliments of the gentleman at the end of the bar." The bartender said it flatly. Since there was no emotion in his voice, I thought he might not approve. Still I was out to meet new people. I looked up and made eye contact with the man. I lifted the glass to him. I thought it was the polite thing to do.

I didn't realize that the gesture would be taken as an invitation for him to join me, but he must have thought so. "Hi there I'm Terry," he informed me

"Hi. my name is Lois," I replied.

"So Lois are you married?"

"No I am a widow."

"Oh I'm sorry. Was it recent?"

"Four years ago," I informed him.

"So you haven't remarried?"

"No, it is just me and my son Charlie."

"Oh how old is Charlie?"

"Seventeen for two more weeks."

"Does he live at home?"

"No he is a freshman at State."

"Ah, so do you live in Morton or are you visiting?"

"Oh I'm a local."

"Do you date much Lois?"

"No I seldom date." I had decided that I would not tell anyone that I had not dated since Edward was killed.

"When was the last time you had sex?"

"I'm not sure that is a question I wish to answer."

"Why not?"

"I think that is too personal a question for a stranger to ask."

"It's a pretty common question to ask a lady alone in a bar. Usually a woman in a bar is either a hooker or horny." he informed me.

"Well in that case, I should leave." I put the wine glass down, even though I had barely touched it.

"Don't go I'm sorry," he said while I put my lightweight sweater on.

"No, you are right, I am in the wrong place. Goodnight."

"Bitch," he said just loud enough for me and the bartender to hear.

"Quite possibly," I replied simply and walked to the door. I glanced back to make sure he wasn't following before I headed out to my car. I drove home planning what I would say to my friend. The one who suggested I go there.

I had a hard time getting to sleep that night. I don't know what I had expected, but I didn't expect the men to be so direct for sure. I knew that things had changed, since I had last dated, Heck, I hadn't been on a date in almost twenty years. I hoped that the man in the motel lounge had been a aberration. He seemed so casual about it, that I expected that he was the norm.

Saturday morning I drove to the mall without breakfast. I thought I would eat along the way. I stopped at the newest of the three McDonald restaurants. I hadn't planned on breakfast being a big deal. I was a little surprised when I found Charlie's best friend from high school seated by the window. I struggled with whether I should say hello or not. He was after all Charlie's friend not mine. That realization led me to walk past him to a table nearer to the exit. It had been my plan all long to eat quickly and then get on to my shopping.

"Mrs. Andrews," Michael said, I looked up into the boy's smiling face. "How is Charlie liking The University? You do remember me?"

"Of course I remember you Michael. Charlie is having the time of his life I'm sure." I smiled then asked. "So what are you up to these days."

"I'm enrolled in the EMS classes at the community college."

"Really, why in the world did you decide to take that course?" I asked it because I had been a paramedic since I met Edward. Even after I had Charlie, I continued to work. It was hard but we didn't have a lot of money. I needed to work and it was the only thing I knew."

"Actually, you are the reason. I always loved when Charlie retold your stories. It sounded like a good job and one that would give me a sense of fulfillment."

"Michael, you sound like a very mature young man." He blushed but I meant what I said. He did sound like someone who had given his life some thought. "So, how do you like the course?" I was sure that it had changed a great deal since I took the course at the same community college twenty years before.

"It's great fun. I mean we don't deal with injured people yet, but I'm having fun with the academic parts. Lots of report writing and academic stuff, but I manage."

"Good for you. I bet the school has changed a lot since I attended."

"I bet it has." I realized that sometime during the conversation Michael had seated himself across from me. "So are you dating anyone?"

"No, I don't date."

"I knew you didn't while Charlie lived at home, but I thought maybe now you were."

"No, I haven't found anyone I like enough to go out with on a date."

"Then you don't have any plans for tonight?"

I was curious but also a whole lot concerned where the question might lead. "I plan to watch TV and pass out candy to any stray kids who wander in. You do know it's Halloween?" I replied.

"Yes I do know that. It is also the reason I asked. You see they are showing movies all night at the college theater tonight. It starts at midnight and runs continually until 8AM."

"I see well it sounds like fun." I really didn't know where Michael was headed with the remark.

"I was wondering, since I don't have a date and you don't either, if you would like to go with me. Not a date or anything, just to get us both out of the house."

"I don't think so," I replied.

"I could pick you up after the kids have all gone home. It is a midnight show. We could maybe go out to dinner first."

"Michael it wouldn't look right for us to be out that late together."

"It's the theater of a community college, who do you think is likely to see us? It's just a movie." he reiterated.

"Tell you what I'll think about it."

"Fair enough, remember it's not a date, it's just a movie with a friend. We don't have to go to dinner," he added as an after thought.

"Well dinner is definitely out, the movie I will think about."

After Michael left, I forgot all about him and the movie. I stopped at the uniform shop in the mall to buy two pair of the black cargo pants. They were what we wore on the job. Then I picked out two of the yellow sweatshirts with the county EMS emblem on the front. Almost none of the men wore a shirt with a collar under the sweat. I wore a white blouse under the sweat shirt because I felt the collar made the uniform look more professional.

I also stopped at one of those big department stores every mall has. I bought a push up 36c bra. I am a size 36b however I can wear a c with just a little padding. It made a huge difference in my appearance. Well maybe I was deluding myself a little.

On the way home I stopped by one of those dollar stores to load up on cheap candy. In the neighborhood where Charlie and I lived, there was either a constant steam of kids who were bussed in or none at all. I usually had plenty of candy left over to ration out to Charlie until Christmas. At that moment I had no idea what I would do with all the leftover candy.

The day passed slowly but it did pass. Since it was my first of two days off, I tried to nap just to get me on some kind of reasonable schedule. The 24 on 48 off schedule was hell on my sleeping schedule. Most nights when I slept at the station, I got at least a little sleep, but sometimes I was up all night. The night before Halloween was a quiet one, so rather than sleep most of the morning, I had gone shopping. In the afternoon I sleep for a couple of hours.

From my freezer I chose a beef stew Microwave dinner. It was good with the last of the leftover French bread. I watched one of the cable news shows until the kids began to arrive. They were mostly in store bought costumes, but they were still cute. At nine the kids had stopped coming to my door, so I turned off the light and sat down to watch TV,

It was a little before 10pm when the doorbell rang. I went to the door and looked out. I knew it was too late for trick or treaters to be out, I recognized Michael standing on my porch, I opened the door then asked, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"You didn't call so I figured I would take a chance and just stop by."

"Michael this is crazy. I didn't call because I would feel silly out with you."

"No one will ever know I promise. Come on Mrs. Andrews, I promise it will be fun, you can pretend you are back in school."

I really didn't think it was a good idea, but he wore me down. "Okay, I'll do it. I will go but I will not go dressed like this. You are going to have to sit down while I change."

"Why you look fine?" he asked.

"A forty year old woman does not go out in jeans and a sweatshirt, even if it is to a kid's movie."

He opened his mouth to object but changed his mind. He sighed and sat on the sofa in front of the TV.

"I will make it quick." I said that as I walked from the den to the bathroom. I put a foundation on my face to hide the hairline wrinkles. I passed on all the other touches except the lipstick. I chose a pink instead of a darker one. I did not plan to stand out, but rather blend in as much as the age difference would allow. To at the very least look more like a teacher than a date.

It was going to be chilly outside but I would be in the car most of the time, so I chose a skirt and lightweight scoop necked sweater to wear. I passed on the panties hose, which I would have worn if we were going to be outside for any length of time. The skirt was too short for me to wear the knee high stockings I had on when Michael arrived. I went bare legged. I was glad that I had shaved my legs that morning. There is nothing less attractive on a woman than bare legs with stubble.

I ran a brush though my flat thin hair, then decided that it the best I could do on short notice,

"Wow," Michael said as I walked into the room. It made me glad that I had worn the new padded push up bra. His eyes were locked on my breasts and cleavage.

"Glad you waited?" I asked with a smile. I had asked that of Charlie when he complained about how long it took me to dress for our Friday night dates.

"Oh yes," Michael replied. "So let's go. That is if you are ready now."

"I am," I replied slipping into a heavier sweater with buttons. I noticed that Michael looked a little disappointed.

"The one thing I love about the school theater is that they let us bring food in. We have to clean up after ourselves but that's no big deal. So How do you like your pizza?"

"I love pizza anyway at all. Just pick one you like."

"Sorry we can't take alcohol into the theater. Would soda be okay?"

"Yes that would be just fine." Two or three hours without coffee might be a little hard on me. I usually have a cup in my hand whenever I get the chance. "I guessed that the 'when in Rome' rule applies" I answered. "If we ever do this again I will fill a thermos."

Michael smiled I noticed with satisfaction. I never planned to do it again, but the idea that an 18 year old boy wanted to be with me was a huge boost to my sagging ego. Michael left me in the car while he went in for the pizza. It gave me time to wonder what the hell I was doing. I told myself to stop analyzing things to death and just enjoy the evening out. It would be like a date with Charlie. Surely it would be harmless since I was old enough to be Michael's mother.

The movie was the classic Rocky Horror Picture Show. I had seen it many years before with my husband. It was fun to see it and to even remember the previous circumstances. There were a lot of things about Edward that left less than good memories, but there were some good ones as well. Date movies in college were some of the better ones.

Half way through the movie I was feeling warm and very nostalgic. That was also when I felt a hand on my thigh. If I hadn't been in that mood, I would have removed the offending hand and gone all 'Mom' on Michael. Since I was in that strange mood, I just sighed deeply and did nothing. I'm sure he was encouraged by it. His hand inched up my leg. I did manage to whisper "no," which he ignored.

He turned in his seat until he was facing my profile. He whispered in my ear. "Open your legs Lois. You know you need this."

I was thinking clearly enough to shake my head, but not enough to prevent him from pushing my legs apart. I felt a jolt of electricity go though me, when his finger brushed against my panty covered opening. I wasn't exactly turned on. But at the very least I was simply enjoying the feel of being wanted.

I think that I was in a dream state when I felt him push the crotch of my panties aside. His finger slipped inside me even though it was a struggle. I didn't know or care if anyone saw what he was doing to me. It just felt so good. I was lost in the feeling. My muscles involuntarily clamped down on his finger.

"You are so tight would you suck my dick?" Michael whispered in my ear.

I shook my head again.

"I think you would. Have you ever done that?"

I shook my head one more time. I didn't think that I could speak. My brain was filled with his finger inside me and nothing else. My eyes were closed and I had lost all interest in the movie.

"Has Charlie ever done this for you?" Michael asked.

I shook my head again.

"We all thought he had. You two seem so close."

"No nothing like that," I managed to whisper. His finger moved inside me and it made me lose my train of thought.

"So do you like this?"

"I love this feeling," I whispered honestly.

"Good, do you want to cum?"

"Yes, I want to orgasm."

"We need to go to your house, don't we?"

"Yes," I said in a whisper.

I should have come to my senses during the drive to my house. I might have if Michael hadn't kept touching me even as he drove the car. Not only that he had me touch him. He even tried to push my head into his lap. I did resist that. I was a minute away from an orgasm all the home.

When we arrived at my house, I wanted to tell him I had changed my mind, but he kissed me deeply for the first time. If the neighbors were looking they could have seen me. I doubt that they would have known the person kissing me was only 18 years old. I certainly did not want them to know. Michael led me to the door, where I used my key to allow us entry.

Once inside he kissed me again and it took my breath away, While I was gasping, he pushed the heavy sweater I wore to the floor, then he lifted my lightweight sweater over my head. I tried to resist, but nothing seemed to work. My body just refused to do what I wanted.

I could feel my bra come off and then his hands on my breasts. I had to admit that it felt marvelous. My mind moved between the wonderful feel of his hands and then thinking I can't do this. The pendulum swing was exciting in and of itself. To feel his hands all over my body was almost more than I could stand. It had been so long since anyone had aroused my body.

"Suck it," he said. I drifted back to reality when I felt his penis against my lips. I had never felt anything like it. The end of his penis was wet and slippery. I knew what he expected but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had never done that for my husband, it seemed wrong to do it for anther man.

I felt a small pain and opened my mouth to whimper or moan. I have no idea which because before I could make a sound his penis slipped inside. I had no idea what I should do. My mind just wouldn't react. Since my mind couldn't decide, I did nothing while he pumped away at my mouth. Eventually I began to suck to keep the drool from running down my face.

"That's right mommy make it tight for me," Michael said. "You love that dick in your mouth, don't you?"

My reply was a moan. I was on the verge of an orgasm, but I had no idea what the stimulus for it was. When it happened a second later. it was with an intensity I had seldom felt. It was the first time I had orgasmed for a man in four years, and the first time ever with a penis in my mouth.

It was a shortly after I finished spasming that he ejaculated into my mouth. His semen was the first I had ever tasted. The sensation I got was that it was hot, thick and slippery. It was that more than it having any real taste of it's own that struck me. I also felt a gritty coating on my teeth and tongue. It was an only slightly unpleasant feeling.

When he removed his penis from my mouth, I felt a dull pain in my back. It was only then that I realized that I had been on my knees the whole time he used my mouth. How I got there I couldn't quite remember, not that I cared.

He lifted me to my feet. My knees were so weak that he had to hold me to keep me stable. "Let's go to bed mom," Michael said. I had no idea why he was saying that I knew he wasn't Charlie.

I was naked and on my bed when Michael said, "I have always wanted to see you do that. I think you are the sexiest woman I have ever seen."

"Thank you," I replied in a sleepy voice I hardly recognized. I was so tired I just wanted to sleep. I felt myself drift off only to be pulled back by Michaels hands on my breasts. After he pinched my nipple painfully I was more or less awake.

"Spread your legs mom, I'm going to fuck you."

I didn't answer I just opened up for him. He was on top of me within seconds. I felt him penetrate me. It made me feel warm and safe. The warm feeling occupied my brain long before I began to rise toward another orgasm. I enjoyed feeling him move inside me several minutes before it aroused me again. I seemed to be almost numb at first. When I did turn on to it, I felt absolutely insane for his penis.

"You are so fucking tight." A few second later he added. "You so have the tightest pussy I ever fucked." Michael then asked, "Do you love my cock?" He had obviously began to feel me raise and lower my hips to help him get deeper inside me.

"Oh God yes," I replied.

"Are you going to fuck me anytime I want?" he asked short of breath.

"Yes, yes," I answered. It had been a while, but I knew when he was on the verge of an orgasm. His muscles got very tense and he drove deep into me a few times than he just held himself as deep as possible while he ejaculated into me. I didn't feel it spurt inside me but I knew what he was doing. I knew that I would feel it seeping out for some time.

I had my orgasm shortly after he rolled off me. I massaged my clit a very few times and it just happened. The explosions just kept on coming. It was an amazing orgasm.

When I awoke the next morning, Michael was gone. It all seemed like a dream. A very exciting and erotic dream. I wasn't exactly sure why I had let it happen, but I felt better physically than I had in years. I had a little emotional baggage, mostly because of who it was that spent the night with me. As to having done it, I had been thinking about it for weeks, it just happened to be Michael.

I spent that next day recovering from my little sexual escapade. My jaw hurt, and my vagina was sore as well. It was difficult but I finally managed to accept what I had done. Since I didn't have any other choice, it seemed the thing to do. Michael didn't call, so I had no idea what his reaction might be.

I almost over slept the next morning so I hurriedly showered, then prepared to face the day. My uniform was clean and hanging on the closet door. One of the nice things about may job was that I never had to worry about what to wear. When I arrived at the sub station, I was met by the crew members from the shift before as they were about to leave. The only morning thing they had managed to do was make coffee. Even that could be hard after a busy night,

"You guys look like you had a busy night." I commented.

"Yeah it was hell night again this year. I wish those kids would just take some time off to enjoy their candy instead of burning empty buildings. That is one seasonal tradition we don't need to perpetuate. And of course every time we pulled into the station, some other empty building caught fire. Every time they rolled the fire trucks they rolled us."

"You know rolling with the trucks when we aren't on a call is SOP." Being the shift leader forced me to more or less agree with the policies,

"Yeah I know, but I don't agree. We stood by with our fingers up our ass at 3AM."

"Yes they pay us a salary and expect us to work for it, those bastards," I said with a smile.

"You know me. I am just venting," Ed said with a smile. "By the way you seem to be in a good mood. What happened? Did you finally go out like we have all be saying."

"No I didn't. What ya'll really said was I needed to get laid, not that I needed to get out more."

"Same thing," Lucy said as she passed me.

The 24 hour shift passed slowly. We had very few calls and even when we did they were routine. Pick up granny at the home and take her to the doctor. Just nothing exciting, I would have slept through the night had it not been for a car crash. The crash was on a section of the interstate which ran through town. We transported a woman with a stiff neck. We could have been a checkered cab for all the good it did her. It also didn't help that she was high on something and a pure D bitch.

I was always glad to be headed home. Even though I slept as more that night, than I had the night with Michael, I was exhausted when I arrived home. I crawled into bed and fell asleep with my memory of the night with the teen aged boy again on my mind.

Since it had been and easy night. I was awake by noon. I checked my email to see if Charlie had left me a message. He did that now and then when I worked. Sometimes he had more to say than was convenient in a phone call.

There was no message from Charlie but there was one from Michael. I opened it both happy to see it and curious as to how he found my email address.

Dear mom,

Charlie shared your email with me. I told him my mom wanted it to ask about jobs with the county. He wasn't suspicious at all.

So how is my Mommy? Do you miss me? Are you ready to do it again?

Michael

I hit reply and wrote ... fine ... i don't know ... no thanks ... then I hit send. Yes I was rude but I was having self image problems. If all he wanted was sex, did I really want to go down that road? It was a question with no honest answer. If I had really wanted to avoid sex with a boy that age, I could have resisted more. The only resistance I put was token at best.

I admit that I had enjoyed the sex tremendously, but did I want a relationship that was only sexual? Could I see myself in a romantic relationship, or any other kind of longterm relationship with a boy of 18? Not likely, I told myself, when I had a son the same age. Whatever Michael had done to convince me to be sexually active again, I approved, but it didn't mean the sex had to be with him.

Michael showed up at my door on Friday night. He picked the night before I had a duty day. I'm not at all sure that he knew my work schedule, but there he was at my door again.

"Good evening Mrs. Andrews is Charlie home this weekend."

"No Michael, I have to work tomorrow. He wouldn't come home on a weekend when I have to work."

Michael took a step forward, then put his arms around me. He whispered in my ear, "Okay Lois, would you like to go to a party?"

"I just told you I am working tomorrow."

"I know but I had to ask. How about it?"

"I can't I need to be in bed early."

"Then we can party here, just you and I," he suggested just before he kissed me deeply.

Yes I knew he was only 18, and I knew he was my son's friend, but I also knew he felt wonderful inside my body. "Alright, but we can't stay up as late as last time."

"Fair enough," he said it pushing down hard on my shoulders. I knew what he wanted, but I wasn't sure that I wanted it that way. I tried to pull away but he shook me hard like one shakes a screaming child. "Do it Lois, you know the feel of my dick in your mouth makes you crazy."

I don't really know why I did it. I could say that I was intimidated. He was half my age but had a hundred pound weight advantage. He could also say that I needed the excuse to do what I really wanted to do. The truth is that it was a little of both I expect.

I was on my knees within a few seconds. "You take it out Lois. Show me that you really want my dick." I unzipped his trousers, then worked his penis free from his shorts. "That's right mommy suck it good and when it is nice and hard, I will fuck you with it."

His words sent a chill through me. I sucked on his penis while he pushed it in and out of my mouth. I tried to control his movements but it was no use. He was pumping my mouth hard and fast. His penis not only made me gag it actually hurt me as it banged into my throat. I felt as though I would throw up at any second.

When he removed it he quickly turned me and pushed me to my hands and knees. He lifted the plain white cotton gown and pushed my panties aside. He inserted his penis into my only slightly slippery opening. He very quickly began to plunge in and out of me. I came long before he did. He kept working in and out of my body until he finally seemed to grow a little then drive deep into me and hold still for a long time. I knew that he was ejaculating into me. What I didn't expect was for him to be like my husband. He withdrew from me, the staggered to the sofa.

When I got myself together enough to look at him, Michael had his eyes closed and was breathing peacefully. The little prick had fallen asleep. I was wound up and I needed a shower. After the shower I needed to sleep, since I had the duty at 8AM.

I was still in my gown, and panties were wet from his semen draining from me, when I awoke. I shook him then said, "You need to go home if you want to sleep." He didn't even argue, he just staggered to his feet and left. It was then that I realized he had been drinking. Well for sure it wasn't love, so I guessed I was just an easy piece of ass to him.