iCarly iFound Bigfoot
- 3 years ago
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I am Richard King, now the author of nearly 100 stories on Storiesonline.net, but that isn’t what I always did.
Now, this is a particularly sensitive subject to me. When I first had a PE class in junior high, where you shower and change in front of the rest of the guys. Well, I didn’t think anything about stripping and showering.
After the shower, while getting dressed, my best friend Michael said, “Man, Rich – you got quite the snake,” giving me a slap on the shoulder. This was before the era of ‘high-fives’.
“What are you talking about, Mike? What snake?”
“The one between your legs, dude. I’ll bet you drive the girls crazy with that,” he said.
Not knowing any better, I agreed! It was seventh grade – didn’t all guys have a snake?
When he talked about girls, I blushed – I never spoke more than two words to a girl. There were some pretty girls in a few of my classes - Nancy, Kathryn, LaDonna and Susan. Even so, I wasn’t going to show any of them my ‘snake.’
Nothing good could come from that!
This was also a long time before the Internet. You looked something up in either a fifteen-pound dictionary or the 1960s version of the World Book Encyclopaedia!
I did the next-best thing. I went to my older sister, Laura. At home, I caught her in her room, asking if I could talk to her about something personal. She changed from her school uniform into a pretty blouse and skirt.
She had me sit down on her bed. This is my best recollection of that moment from 45 years ago.
“Laura, you’ve got a boyfriend, right?”
“Yeah, do you have a girlfriend? Is that what this is about?”
“No, I don’t think any girl thinks of me like that. I’m not really a sports guy, and all the girls want jocks.”
“Then, what is it about?” my 17-year-old sister asked.
“Have you seen your boyfriends ‘snake’?”
Her face got all red, and she told me to leave her room. She didn’t slap me, but I may have left before she thought about it.
Mom wondered why Laura had a red face at dinner. She said that it must’ve been a reaction to some new makeup she tried. Thanks, sis!
After dinner, all of us kids went to our rooms to work on homework. This was back in the day when you got homework from one of your teachers every day. I was working on World Geography with the family globe.
Laura knocked and came in, sitting on my bed.
“Rich, why did you ask that? That’s very personal!”
“After showering today in school, my best friend said that I had a big snake ... his words – not mine?”
“All boys have snakes, Richie – there’s a reason for them,” she giggled.
“Yeah, I’ve had health class. We all were told about boners and pussies,” I said. “Did I say something wrong, again?”
“If you want to talk about these things, then use the proper terms. Boys have penises, girls ... don’t!”
“Then, I must have a larger than average penis,” I said trying to be proud, I guess.
“What do you consider average?” my blushing sister asked.
“Most guys in the shower were only three to four inches long. If someone was washing his, it got bigger, maybe doubling in size.”
“And what about you, how big is it – soft?”
“Five inches, when I get it hard – it’s between nine and ten inches long. I’ve measured it at home.”
“Ten inches, Rich – I don’t believe that – prove it?”
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