Regrets
- 3 years ago
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Big Brother
He lives just beside my house, he was like a big brother to me since I was young. I remembered once it happened when I was five, a big and fierce dog was chasing after me, afraid and scared as he could be, he still took up a stick and shouted at the dog, miracly the dog just ran away. I, scared out of my wits, I cried. All I remembered next was I was lying by his hug.
My First RelationshipHe was a very smart boy, since young, his grades are all distinctive As. I was just a normal student, getting normal results. As expected, he went into a good secondary school. As I was a normal student, I did unexpectedly well in my PSLE. That's was the turning point of my life then. I went into the same secondary school as him. We went to school together, went back home together. Life was not the same for me when I get into a secondary school. I was no longer the innocent girl he once look upon. An senior of my secondary school, named Gary, he liked me. Well, I had never tasted love before. It was such a different and exciting feeling. To think, there is a guy who likes me, the thought thrills me. Of course, he knew about it since he was my close friend. Gary was a well known flirt in my secondary school, I of course a greenhorn and an anti social girl wouldn't know about such things in my school. He was in the same ECA with Gary, argh, scouts. Gary knew that he was quite close with me, so Gary asked him for more informations about me. Soon enough, I was together with Gary. The relationship with Gary was soon spread to the whole secondary school like fire spreading throughout the forest, so fast!
No Longer FriendsHe confronted me and asked me to leave Gary. Wildly in love for the first time, I just couldn't believe my ears. HE actually asked me to LEAVE Gary, He was supposed to give me the kind of SUPPORT I want, how could he? Sensing something was amiss, I asked him the reason why he wanted me to leave Gary, instead of explaining things clearly to me, he just simply stand there and looked at the floor in dismay. I asked him couples of times, finally he told me that Gary was a flirt and Gary was just simply toying with my feelings. He don't want me to get cheated by Gary! Shock gripped hold of me, I sensed a tremour travelling down my whole body. I picked up all the last courage and told him, " Cannot be, Gary will not do this to me, STOP all these nonsenses, instead of giving me the moral support, you actually splash cool cold water at me! What the f***? " "Since you don't want to trust me, then fine!" he said. " We are no longer friends, you don't deserve to be my friend at all! " I angrily spurted out. "FINE!" He just simply walked away.
Getting CheatedAfter 2 weeks later, Gary gave me the lamest excuse to break up. "I wanted to study hard for my Prelims, I don't want to disappoint my parents. Sorry, let's break up! " Before I could even utter any single words, he hanged up the phone. My mind was in a total blank, after that, hot tears trickled down my cheeks, I tasted the saltness of the tears. " Let's Break Up! " This sentence kept on ringing loudly in my head, my heart hurts, I never knew that relationship could hurt so much. Suddenly, he came to my mind, he was right, Gary was just simply toying with my feelings. Why? Why? Why? Why am I so stubborn not to heed his advice? The cordless phone came into my blurred vision. I picked up the phone and dialled a set of number which used to be so familiar but not quite so now.
Confession" Hello, Is that Jun Wen? " my voice was rather shaky, nevertheless I tried to take control of my tone. " Ya, what happen to you? Did you cried? " a rather concerned tone. " Can we go to the same old place? " I asked with sniffing. " You mean the place where we used to go and watch the stars? " he replied. " Ya, see you at your door in a minute. " Without saying any goodbye, I hanged up the phone. I took a cardigan with me and rushed out to meet him. We walked, almost silence filled the air surrounding us, just some sounds of crickets and distances sounds of the tv and etc. We sat down side by side. The sky was still as starry as it should be. Little twinkling stars filled the starry sky. "What happen to you?" He broke the silence. I just kept myself silent. " Tell me, what happen to you, please?" he asked with a begging tone. Out of the blue, the sentence "Let's break up!" came to my mind and I cried. He took out the tissue he prepared and gave it to me. I cried on his shoulders and said, "Gary broke up with me." "Just as I expected, that bast***! Don't cry!" was his angry reply. I told him the whole thing then tears of sorrow, tears of sadness just uncontrollably rolled down my hot cheeks. He patted me on my back and said, "Just let everything out, let all the sadness out, you will feel much better." Guess this is what he learn from the tv. After sometime, I felt much better however my heart still hurts a little. Both of us looked at the stars above us, the glitter, the shine seems to tell me something, life isn't that bad afterall, losing a bast*** guy like him doesn't mean that this is the end of the world. Suddenly, he said, "Actually, I, erm... well... ermm.. " he seems to be hesitating to say something. I just looked at him with a curious look. " I Like you!" this 3 words completed the whole sentence he wanted to tell me. My heart was racing, my heart was pumping faster, I couldn't believe what I had just heard, this big brother of mine actually like me. Surprised was the word that can describ the feeling I had that time. He turned his face away from me, and said, "I knew you will never like me, because I am not as handsome as Gary. Well, forget what I had said just now. Are you alright now? Can we go back home?" He seems to be rather embrassed. "Alright, let's go back home." I said. We walked back home. What a shocking night I had!
His First Girl FriendAfter that night, we were both very embrassed to see each other. I don't know exactly what goes wrong. At that age, both of us were still very unmature. Prelims were over, as expected, he got very good results. After that relationship, I concentrated hard on my studies. Well, my results weren't very fantastic but to me, it was simply fabulous. I never knew that I could score so well. Successfully, we were promoted, this time, we were not in the same class anymore. One day, when I was going for my recess with one of my close friend in my class, I overheard a bunch of girls saying, "Guess what, Sarah is now together with Jun Wen." "Which Jun Wen?" "That Jun Wen from 2A." I don't feel quite right after overhearing all these gossips, or rather I felt a tinge of jealousy. NO! I am not jealous! He is only a big brother to me. I am happy that he have found for himself a girlfriend. Deep in my heart, how I wish I don't know anything about this. Somtimes, I could see him and Sarah holding hands to the canteen, once I even see him locking his lips with Sarah at the back of the school block. Jealous was the best word to describ me at that time. Sometimes, I really wonder if I had fallen for him. However, when the thought of these came to my mind, I would always tell myself that I don't like him, I only like him as a big brother who protects and comfort me, to me he will always be the big brother of my life, nothing more than that.
The TruthLife still carry on for me, after a month, my close friend break this news to me saying Jun Wen had broke up with Sarah. Mixed feelings of happiness and sadness came over me, I don't know what happen to me, why am I happy for him, why am I sad for him? I was in a complete daze before my close friend wake me up. Though I am anti social, but fortunately I still had this close friend, Julia by my side. After school, Julia and I went to the nearby Mc Donald, seems like students always like to frequent Mac after school. I told her my problems, the problems I could not solve using Mathmatics, when I finished my story, she asked me a question. "June, tell me something, speak from your heart, when I finish asking you this question, give me the answer straightaway. Do you like him?" It was such a simple question. However, I am not pretty sure of the answer myself. Something change, straightaway, I told Julia, "Ya, I think I have fallen for him." "Since you had already knew your feelings, you should know what to do next." Julia said and slipped a mouth of coke. "A Mc Chicken Meal. Take Away." this voice seems so familiar, so manly, seems like him. I couldn't help my temptation to turn around and look. Just as I expected, it was him. Suddenly, Julia raced past my shoulders, she stood in front of him and whispered something in his ears. He turned around, his eyes met mine. The kind of feeling is indescribable. Maybe that is what others say, Chemistry. He walked over to the table with Julia. "I think I got to leave if not my mother would scold me." Julia said. She was wearing a grin on her face. She walked off as fast as her legs could carry her.
Anastasia
- 30.05.2021
- 17
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