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Seeking Enlightenment through Bondage

I am a creature of habit. I do the same thing, the same way, in the same order, every day. Well, work days, at least. When I walk out the door in the morning, I'm carrying a stuffed-full lunch bucket and a mostly-full coffee cup. The coffee cup becomes depressingly empty on the way to work and gets left in the car, but the bucket goes in with me.

When I get home in the evening, I put the half-empty bucket and the useless coffee cup on my spoiler and walk back out to the street to check the mail. I do a quick sort right there at the street, because I'm going to walk right past the trash can where I can dump most of it, before I pick up the bucket and cup on my way to my front door.

Park in the garage? That's for normal people. I've got a two-car garage, but one side is full of stuff and the other side stays empty as a kind of work area. Yeah, I pull my car in there if I'm working on it, but if it's running fine it stays out on the driveway where it belongs.

Now, there's no telling what I'll be doing a minute after I walk in my door with the few bills I couldn't throw away, but from about 7:15 in the morning, until about 4:45 in the afternoon, I do the same thing I've done every day since old man Everett caught my boss Joe buying home equipment with company funds and promoted me to IT manager on the spot.

Friday evening when I got home, my new neighbor across the street completely screwed up my routine, but I don't think I should complain. I was checking my mailbox when I realized that she had come out and was doing the same thing with hers. I looked up at a sound, and saw her walking back up her driveway, so I called out "Wait!"

She stopped and turned around, so I hurried across the street and introduced myself. "Hi! I'm Bill Adams. This is the first time I've had a chance to say 'hi' since you moved in."

She introduced herself as Shauna Bryant, and we did the small talk thing for a few minutes, mostly about how wonderful the neighborhood was. She wasn't a movie star, but she was a good ways more attractive than the people I worked with, so I enjoyed the talk. I didn't have much of a social life, and most of my attention was on not-staring at her breasts.

Soon enough, I told her I needed to see about dinner, and turned to go home. Before I'd gotten across the street, though, she called out to me "Bill!"

I stopped and turned back to look at her, and said "What?"

She seemed to hesitate, and then said "Uh, nothing, sorry" so I shrugged and went on home.

After dinner I went into the garage to do something -I have no idea what it was any more- and I opened the garage door for some fresh air. When I did, I saw Shauna standing in her driveway across the street, still holding her mail and looking like she'd been there the whole time. I waved at her and she waved back, still standing there.

So, I walked back over there and asked "Are you alright?" This conversation I remember much more clearly, because I was so confused at the time.

Shauna said "Yes ... no." so I replied "Tell me what's wrong."

She looked at me and said "I'm getting tired. How long do I have to wait out here? What am I waiting for?"

I looked right back at her and said "I dunno, what are you waiting for?"

"Well, if you don't know, why did you tell me to wait?"

"Huh? What did I tell you to wait for? When was this? I never even met you before this evening." ... and why are you waiting for me, anyway?

"When you got home, you told me to wait, just before you walked over here. I've been waiting all this time, and I'm getting tired and I'm past getting hungry."

"You mean you've been standing out here ever since we talked, because I told you to wait?"

"That's exactly what I mean."

"So why does what I said an hour ago keep you from doing what you want?"

She didn't have an answer to that, so I said "Okay, maybe asking 'why' isn't a good idea. How about asking 'what'? Do you have to do whatever I tell you to do?"

She didn't answer that, either, so I said "Jump up and down."

Shauna jumped up and down, and I admit I did stare at what her blouse was doing when she did it. When she was standing there again, I said "No, keep jumping up and down until I tell you to stop."

So, she started jumping up and down again. While she was doing that, I asked "So, do you have to do everything I tell you to do?" No answer, so "Okay, here is an order: 'Answer all of my questions as truthfully as you can.' Okay? Shauna, do you have to do everything I tell you to do?"

"I don't know. I think so."

"Okay, that's one of the things we'll test. Next, do you know why you have to obey me?"

"No, I don't."

"Okay, you can stop jumping." She looked winded when she stopped, so I asked "Do you need to go get a drink, and maybe use the bathroom, before we continue this?"

"Yes, please. Bathroom, a drink, and something to eat if I can."

"Okay. I want to know what's going on, and you NEED to know what's going on. Go do everything you need to do inside, and come knock on my door when you're ready to continue this conversation. Don't dawdle, but take care of dinner. Oh, yeah. Is it just me, or do you have to obey anyone who gives you an order?"

"I ... I don't know." From the look on her face, she hadn't thought about that yet.

"Okay then, Shauna, here's another order, but this one may be for your own good. Do not talk to ANYONE about this, and try hard to avoid any situation where someone could give you an order, until we know more. People say stupid things, and I don't want you hurt because you had to do something stupid. Are you expecting any phone calls tonight?"

"No, I'm not."

"Good. Don't make any, and don't answer the phone if it rings. I'm going home, and you're going to come see me to clear this up when you're done with dinner. Okay?"

"Okay, thanks."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"As soon as you let me, I'm going to run to the bathroom, and then I'm going to have dinner. After that I'm going to your house and knock on your door."

I smiled. "After you knock, wait for me to open the door. I'll have figured out how I want to proceed by then."

"Yes, sir."

"Okay, go on. I'll be waiting for you." I shooed her away, and she ran inside. She probably had to go pretty bad, and jumping up and down probably didn't help any. I went back home to think this over.

I sat down to check the weather and news and stuff, and of course the first thing I saw was a commercial for some fitness center that will change my life. Shit. What if she turns on the TV, and some idiot says "Come buy a new car from us right now?"

I ran back over to her house -God knows what our OTHER neighbors are thinking- and rang her doorbell. No answer. Okay, is it locked? Yes. Well, she's no dummy. I tried yelling thru it. "Shauna, this is Bill! Come to the front door and let me in!"

After a minute or two I could see her through the window, and she opened the door.

"Sorry, but I turned my TV on, and got a commercial. What would happen if you heard a guy on the TV or the radio telling you to go buy a new car right now?"

"I don't want a new car."

"Okay, but that's not the point. Think about this: Do we know yet if you can ignore other people, or if you have to obey every order you get from everyone?"

She was silent for a moment while she thought that over. "No, we don't know yet."

"Well, apparently you still have to obey me; you came and let me in. Here's another set of orders, for your own safety. Until we figure out what's going on, do not listen to a radio, watch or listen to a TV, or read anything that might have an ad in it. God, I don't even want you reading the label on a box of food. Shauna, would you be okay with me ordering pizza delivery for us tonight?"

"Do I have any choice?"

"Well, what do you think we should do? If you prefer something else, we can do that, but I don't want you exposed to strangers until we get this figured out. Would you prefer Chinese? Or, I can go get you something if you'd be safe here."

"Why wouldn't I be safe in my own home, if you're not here ordering me around?"

"I don't know. If even you don't know who-all can give you orders, you can get in trouble pretty easily. Just off the top of my head, I can see you driving to get that new car the TV told you to go buy, then seeing a billboard that tells you to go get some Ex-Lax right now. So, you stop at a convenience store to buy that, and when you walk in some drunk stops you. You're pretty good looking. What if some drunk asshole steps in front of you and says 'Blow me for a dollar, bitch'?" You start doing that, and you'll have ten other guys around saying 'Blow me, too'. And they won't stop there, either."

She didn't say anything, but she looked pretty unhappy.

"Okay, so you don't want me ordering you around. That's cool; I wouldn't want to have me ordering me around, either. Still, I'm probably better than the next guy who accidentally gives you a stupid order and finds out that you'll do it."

We just looked at each other for a minute. I guess I hadn't given her an order, and she didn't have anything she wanted to say.

"Shauna, come here and give me a hug." She did that, and even though she felt very stiff, it was good for me.

I held her and softly said "Shauna, I don't love you, and you don't love me, but as long as you have to obey me I'll try to take care of you." She softened a little and started to feel a lot better. "Okay, I don't want you trying to cook right now, and I can't cook, and it's not safe to take you to a restaurant, so what's left?"

"Can we do a drive-thru?"

I had to think for a minute. So what, it was an excuse to keep holding her. She was beginning to feel really good, pressed up against me like that. "Tell you what. I don't think it's a good idea, but I won't veto it without discussion. Let's go inside, close the door, and sit and talk about it."

I let her go, and she led me into her den. I told her "If you're thirsty, please fix two of whatever you would fix yourself", and sat down on her couch where I could watch her. I saw an attractive black woman -probably about my age but I'm not an expert on her ethnic group- with hips wider than I would have chosen if it were up to me, her chest smaller than I would have liked -but that's really not saying anything, I would probably say that about ANY woman- and a pleasant face, now somewhat stressed by her situation.

While she was fixing the drinks -apparently she was a wine drinker- I said "Shauna, I know I'm being nosy, but we're going to be together until you beat this. If you have to do whatever I say, then I'm going to keep you pretty close to me. Of course I'll find ways to benefit from having you around, but I'll also try to protect you. We'll need to know each other pretty well so we don't annoy each other any worse than we have to."

As she handed me a wine glass and sat down beside me, I continued "Honestly, I don't think I should let you be anywhere that has other people until we know what the rules are. How do we tell, without letting someone else give you an order, whether it's just me, or everyone?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I'm not going to give you an order to figure it out. Whether that kind of order works is another question, and it's not as important as this. Okay, do you know how long you've been like this?"

"No. You told me to wait this afternoon and I was just stuck there."

"Okay, well, when was the last time you talked with anyone?"

"When I was leaving work, I talked with a co-worker in the parking lot." She laughed. "She told me to have a good weekend."

I had to laugh, too. "So, was that an order that you had to obey?"

"I don't think so. It didn't seem like it. And, it doesn't look like it's going to happen, now."

Now it looked like she was going to start crying, so I said "Come here" and pulled her onto my lap. "Yes you're attractive and yes I'm a normal guy and yes I'm going to take advantage of you, but I also want you to be happy. If we can make it a good weekend, we will."

I pulled her to me and started rubbing her back, well, yeah, I guess I was fondling her, but I can do that, right? "Okay, back to the subject at hand. You want to go to a drivethru for dinner. I want to be selfish, and keep other people from telling you what to do. It's all very well to have an attractive woman at your beck and call, but I don't want to share with anyone else."

She wasn't relaxing under my fingers, so I stopped and pushed her away so I could see her face. "You're all stressed out. Are you waiting for me to make you do horrible things?"

Shauna said "Yes. I hate not knowing what you are going to want me to do."

I pulled her back to me, and went back to rubbing her back. "Well, I'm going to want the same stuff that any man would want from you. Haven't you ever dated? The only difference is that now you actually have to do that stuff."

"I was married once. Well, I still am, but we don't ever see each other."

"Then you already know all about it. Cooking, cleaning, incredible sex, you know. The usual."

This time she pulled away to look at me. "That's all? You're not gonna make me do anything else?"

"Shauna, before the women's lib movement, that's what a marriage was. The woman left her father's house, promised to obey her husband at the wedding, and became his property. In return, he promised to cherish and take care of her. So you can think of it as an arranged marriage that surprised us both. You can even tell me I'm an idiot, if you think it's deserved, and I'll get stuffy and say 'Woman, be quiet and obey your husband'. No, that would be bad. I'd better say 'Woman, be quiet and obey me'. We don't want you obeying your husband."

"So when are you going to ask for the incredible sex?"

"Well, we'd be at it right now, but you still haven't had dinner yet. What's wrong with telling me what you want, and sending me out to get it for you?"

"Well, when you put it that way I can certainly send you after dinner."

"Right. Cooking, then cleaning, and then incredible sex. Then, you're okay with me leaving you here while I get you dinner?"

"What do you want me to be doing while you're gone?"

I smiled and moved my hands around in front, and started fondling her breasts through her blouse and bra, the first time I'd touched her anywhere 'inappropriate' since this whole thing started. "Whatever it is that women do to get ready for a dinner date with a new boyfriend, when they really want him to come back for a second date."

She was quiet then, and I didn't have anything to say. I was pretty well occupied playing with her tits, even with her clothes on.

All good things gotta end, though. Eventually I got tired of all the clothes and I undid one of her blouse's buttons, saying "If you don't tell me what you want for dinner soon, we're gonna be too busy and you never will get to eat."

"If you really want to, I can wait."

"What I really want is to spend the entire night with you, and have it be so good that I'll do anything to keep you. Hopefully, I'll please you enough that you want me back, too."

"Am I going to have any choice in that?"

"Well, I hope not, but we still don't know why you have to obey me. For all we know you'll wake up tomorrow and be normal again. If that happens, I want you to remember that I fed you first, and tried to please you, too. Maybe you'll just kick me out, instead of waking me up with a steak knife in my ribs."

"You think this is just temporary? I'll be okay tomorrow?"

"Shauna, I think you're just crazy, but as long as you think you have to do what I want, I'm going to take advantage of it. And, speaking of taking advantage of you, I can't stand it any more. Shauna, take your blouse off."

I took my hands off her while she was opening her blouse up, and then went back to playing while she did the contortion thing to get her arms out. When she had it off, I said "Thank you. Okay, now your bra. My hands should be warm enough" When that was out of the way I put my hands where they belonged.

From this view, Shauna's breasts were full and firm, they looked and felt great, and were plenty big enough. "Mmmm that feels good. Shauna, tell me how you like to be touched."

"I think you're doing it. My husband was never that gentle."

"Well, as much as I like to do this, it's gonna lead to other things. Shauna, we can stay here as long as you want, but when you're ready I'm going to give you another order. Have you ever given head?"

"Yes, but I'm not an expert."

"That's okay, I don't think you need to be right now. Besides, if I get my way you'll get plenty of practice." With that I started licking, sucking, and nibbling on her nipples. They hardened nicely when I did that, and before long she was squirming. Good. Let's see what she has to say...

After a few minutes of really enjoyable playing and nibbling, Shauna said "I'm ready to go to bed now, if you want."

"Nope, gotta have dinner first. I don't want you losing any weight and blaming me. However, before I go get your dinner I do want a blowjob from a beautiful naked lady. Shauna, take the rest of your clothes off."

While she was doing that, I stood up and took my shoes and pants off. Then I sat down again and said "Shauna, give me the best blowjob you know how." I put it that way mostly because I'd never had a good one, and wasn't sure how it was done.

She climbed onto the couch and showed me. I don't think I learned enough to do it myself, but I was pretty happy with the lesson. The only thing wrong with her way was that I couldn't really play with her tits while she was doing it, but I did get to play with her ass. Before long I had to grab her head and say "Don't move" while I shoved my cock down her throat and exploded. When I was done, I let go, stroked her hair, and said "That was wonderful. You know exactly what you're doing." I had to (mentally) take it back, though, because she started licking and bobbing again.

"Stop!" Again I held her head, and this time I told her "It's too sensitive for that. Just hold it." After a couple of seconds I let go and continued stroking her hair again while my woody went away.

Eventually I decided that she'd kept it warm long enough, and pulled her back up on my lap again. I hugged her as tight as I could and told her "That was incredible. After whatever it is wears off and you don't have to obey me any more, will you marry me?"

"Not if that's all you ever let me eat!" She was smiling, though. Good.

"Yeah, that's next. Okay, darling, which steakhouse do you want me to go get your lobster dinner from?"

"Why can't I go with you? You ashamed of being seen with your little black slave girl?"

"Couple of reasons. First off, I'm sure you know how simple a man's mind is. If I have to choose between letting other men see you naked, and letting you put some clothes on, that's ... difficult. So, I could leave you here naked and go out by myself, but that involves letting go of you, and leaving the house with you in here naked waiting for me, and I'm not sure I can do that, either."

"Shauna, telling you to give me the best blowjob you could was a mistake. I don't know whether to shit or wind my watch."

"What?"

"That's an old George Carlin quote. You didn't listen to George Carlin growing up? We'll have to fix that. Anyway, my whole purpose in life is now centered around making sure you do that again, whenever I want, forever. What's the best way to do that? I don't know which way to go. Be nice to you so you'll like me and do it? Be mean to you so you do it out of fear? Tie you up so you can't get away? I dunno. One thing I do know is that, if you're married, your husband's an idiot."

"What? I mean, I know, but what do you mean?"

"Shauna, next year you can burn the house down, wreck the car, and accidentally poison the dog all on the same day, and I won't care as long as you tell me I still get my blowjob that night. What's wrong with you, that he doesn't feel the same way?"

"I don't know. Apparently, whatever it is, isn't wrong with his girlfriend."

"And, how did he come to be looking for a girlfriend, if he had you to come home to? Doesn't matter right now. What do you want to eat?"

"It depends. Do I get to go with you?"

"Isn't this where we started? We still don't know anything, and the question is a lot more important now."

"What question? And, can I get up now? I want to add 'stiff' and 'cold' to 'horny' and 'hungry'."

I let go of her, and she climbed off me and got to her feet. I just sat there staring at her while she stretched. When she noticed me, she turned her stretching into a show and I just sat there staring. Somehow, she looked a lot better than she had earlier. I was probably drooling.

"Do you see anything you like?"

"I want you to stay naked for the rest of your life. I want you to stay in front of me where I can watch you, for the rest of your life." I sighed. "And, I don't want any other men to ever touch you or even look at you again. I don't know how to do all that at once."

I stood up and started putting my pants back on. "Okay, I'll let you come with me, but we've got to compromise. I'll let you wear your blouse and pants, but no underwear. Whatever shoes you want, and a jacket if you want." By then I was done with my pants, and I stopped to watch her get dressed. Very depressing and unnatural.

"Shauna, here are some more orders. They are all about keeping me stable and happy, and they are forever. Stay with me. Never leave me without my express permission. Never do or say anything to let anyone know that you have this problem. Pretend that we have been dating, and you are with me because I make you happy. For my part, I'll try to make that true. And the last order for now is, ignore any order anyone else gives you. I don't know if that works, but I hope so."

By this time she was putting her shoes on, with her bra and panties still on the couch where she'd left them earlier. While I was putting my shoes and socks on (Why is it always said that way? Shouldn't it be 'socks and shoes'?) I asked "Do you want a jacket, or is that good enough? I think you should at least take one."

"It's not cold out. Where are we going?"

I smiled at her. "I don't know. My 'little black slave girl' hasn't told me yet where she wants to go."

"Well, where do you want to go?"

"I'm not sure I should say what I want. I don't know how this works yet, and I wonder if I tell you what I want, if it might somehow magically become what you want, too. I think you should tell me where you want to go, first."

"Well, how much money are we spending?"

"However much whatever you want costs."

"So, if I want fresh Maine lobster at Louie's that's okay?"

"After what you just did? You'll want a jacket that you don't mind having to wash. Those things are messy."

"You mean it? We can go to Louie's?"

"If that's what you want, sure. Grab a jacket and let's go."

"Should I bring my purse?"

"Yes, of course. And we need to lock up; we'll be gone for a while."

We had some confusion about whether "Never leave me" applied to leaving the room to get her jacket. I decided that, for now, it did. I told her that until I felt secure in our relationship, I didn't want her to go anywhere without me. So, I had to walk around with her while she locked up, got her purse, and selected a jacket.

After that we walked across the street to my car, but first we had to close up my house, too, because I'd left it wide open earlier. I mean, most of the doors were closed, but the garage door was still open. This time, Shauna had to walk around with me as I closed doors and locked up.

When I locked the front door on our way out, I opened the passenger door for Shauna, and closed it for her once she was in. I thought I might as well treat it like a regular date, with a guaranteed payoff at the end. Shauna wasn't acting like she could say goodnight and close the door on my face.

The drive was pretty quiet; just small talk about if she'd ever been to Louie's before (no), and then if I'd ever been (well, no, I haven't, either, but it's just another steak house, isn't it?). Dinner was very good. We both got a lobster and steak combo and spent the meal arguing about the rest of our respective orders. I had a great time, much better than most 'first dates' I had been on. Of course, both of us were on our best behavior. We both had very strong incentive to keep the other happy and calm.

Shauna likes her steaks rare, as it tastes best that way, with maybe some salt and pepper. I want mine cooked until it is dead, dead, dead, with a variety of sauces. She likes her potato with "nuthin' but butter" because, again, that's how it tastes the best. I have them put everything they can find on mine because a potato doesn't HAVE any taste; it's just an excuse to eat all the other stuff. She says I'm going to die of a heart attack before I'm 40. I say I'd better enjoy life now, since I'm 34.

We both agreed that the lobster was good. And the service was VERY good. The wait staff made suggestions when requested, but never told us what we wanted. That would have been awkward, of course, and I was becoming very sensitive to all the little things that people tell each other to do. The bill was outrageous, but with everything all together it's a great place to go to celebrate a milestone like a graduation, a birthday, a promotion, or even a new girfriend (I didn't actually say "that does what she's told and gives awesome head" but I think she heard it anyway). She got darker at that, proof that blacks can blush. Or, maybe, that their faces can flush in anger. I hoped it was a blush.

We had a glass of wine each, because I thought it would help calm us down, but Shauna reminded me that the bathroom would be awkward if she could not leave me, so we didn't have any more.

I didn't try to get serious again until we were driving back. I reached over and held her hand, and asked "How are you doing?"

"I'm a lot calmer. I think you are right; if I think about it as an old-times arranged marriage before women's lib, I'm not much worse than those people were. Worse off, I mean. And you were a very nice date. I can't remember the last time I went out with a man that he didn't try to paw me. And you paid the bill, too, without saying a word."

"Well, I asked you out. I should pay. If you ever ask me out, I'll expect you to pay for it. And, I certainly AM planning on pawing you tonight, I just didn't want to do it in front of everyone else. You look much yummier than any of those desserts, and I'm not going to wait any longer than I have to. You may as well resign yourself to getting naked as soon as we close your front door. You may well be all better in the morning, and I'm not going to kick myself for the rest of my life because I didn't do you when I had the chance."

"So, what happens if we wake up in the morning and I tell you to get out of my house?"

"You can say that right now, can't you? You just can't make it stick. You tell me to get out of your house, I tell you to get on your knees and start licking, and we'll see what happens. If you stay on your feet and slap me, we'll know you're cured."

"We'll have to see. Maybe it can be a daily ritual."

"Well, I'd certainly like that. You can try to get rid of me at any time; I will see if I can stay."

And, that ended that conversation. I left my hand on hers, though, and she didn't move away. Did that count as pawing, or was she afraid of what I'd do if she moved? I was thinking so hard about reaching into her blouse I was having trouble driving, but I wanted to be polite until we got home. If this lasted long at all, I wanted her to remember that I was nice to her when I didn't have to be.

After a few minutes she asked "Yummier?"

"Huh?"

"Is that a word? 'Yummier'?"

"Of course it is. Yummy, yummier, yummiest. That dessert tray looked yummy. You just look yummier. I hope you don't mind."

Eventually we got home and I parked in my normal spot. I helped her out, and then realized that we should be discussing plans so I leaned against my car and asked "Shauna, I'm sure I made it obvious that I plan on us sleeping together for as long as this lasts. Can you think of any reason for it to matter whether we are in your house or mine? I've got some fish but they don't seem to notice me as long as they get fed on schedule. Do you have any pets that need attention?"

"Not yet. I was going to get a cat or dog or something as soon as I was settled in."

Something about that made me ask. "Have you ever had a dog or cat before?"

"We had a dog growing up. And, there were always cats around."

"Hmmm. I had a dog growing up, but I haven't had one since I've lived on my own. It just wouldn't be fair, since I was never home to play with it. But, if there's the two of us maybe we can. We'll have to see."