A Well Lived Life Book 9 AnalaChapter 51 Changing Dynamics Part I
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August, 1984, Chicago, Illinois
“You up for a movie?” Stephanie asked.
“Sure. What do you want to see?” I asked.
“Purple Rain - the new Prince movie. The music has to be awesome and Kara’s OK with it.”
I chuckled, “Sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll! Exactly the reason Kara’s dad never wanted her to go to the movies!”
Kara laughed, “I like two of the three. I’ve never tried any drugs!”
“Me either,” I said.
“Oops!” Stephanie giggled.
“Squirt?” I asked, surprised at the revelation.
“Pot. One time. And no, it wasn’t with Zach. Just forget I said anything. I didn’t like it. It made me feel strange, and in a way I didn’t like. It wasn’t like when I drink vodka.”
“I never had any inclination to try drugs,” I said. “I know some fraternity guys who smoke pot, and one who smokes opium, but it just doesn’t hold any attraction for me. I’ll stick to caffeine and alcohol.”
“And sex?” Kara teased, and we all had a good laugh.
We decided to walk to the El and take the train downtown and see the movie at Water Tower Place. The movie was nothing short of amazing. Not because the storyline was great. It was mediocre. Not because the acting was great. It was mediocre with flashes of brilliance. It was amazing because the soundtrack just blew us away. The musical numbers performed on screen were some of the best I’d ever seen or heard, and were what MTV had to have been thinking of when they first went on the air. I was so blown away that I insisted that we find a record store so that I could buy a copy of the album Purple Rain before we went for ice cream. After the record store and ice cream, we headed home.
We made tea, I put the record on the turntable, and the three of us sat up waiting for Sofia to call and say that she was boarding her flight. The phone rang just before 1:00am as I expected. Sofia was calling from Landvetter and was about to board a flight for Heathrow. She’d change planes there and fly direct to Chicago. I told her we’d see her when she arrived, and then we went upstairs to sleep. Kara went to her room and Stephanie slept on the air mattress in my room.
When I woke up on Sunday morning I called Karin and told her about what had happened. She was very concerned, but she calmed down after I told her that I wasn’t really hurt. I told her about the new car and about my sister coming to take care of me. Other than the accident part of the conversation, it was lighter and freer than our conversations had been before my trip. Neither of us was walking on eggshells now; we’d finally cleared the air and put the past behind us.
After breakfast, Kara, Stephanie, and I sat and drank coffee until it was time to leave for the airport. We took Kara’s car because it was a four-door with a decent size trunk. My Daytona would fit four, but I wasn’t sure if Sofia’s bags would fit in the hatch. We arrived at the airport and parked in the usual short-term lot.
I wasn’t sure about the arrivals because Terminal 1 was being torn down for a new United terminal and the new international terminal wasn’t open. We checked the arrival board and the map to find the temporary setup. We walked to the spot indicated on the map and found chairs where we could wait for Sofia to come arrive. We had waited about thirty minutes when I saw her.
“«Hej, Sofia!»” I called out as we walked towards each other. “«Hur var flyget?»” (“How was the flight?”)
We hugged and exchanged a quick kiss.
“«Långt!» Are you going to introduce me?” (“Long!”)
“Sofia Katsaros, this is my sister, Stephanie, and this is Kara Blanchard.”
“Hi! I’ve heard so much about both of you!” Sofia said in lilting English.
It dawned on me that I hadn’t heard her speak English in nearly five years. We’d spoken English at first, but by December of ‘79 we’d only spoken Swedish.
“And we’ve heard a lot about you, too!” Stephanie said, giving Sofia a quick hug.
“Nice to meet you, Sofia!” Kara said, also giving Sofia a hug.
“We brought Kara’s car because I was afraid your luggage wouldn’t fit in my sports car and it looks like I’m right! Those bags are huge!”
“I sent some stuff ahead in those boxes, but these are the rest of my clothes and all my worldly possessions. Chicago is my home for at least eight years! When I go back to Sweden, it’ll just be to visit.”
“What’s with the hockey stick?” Kara asked.
“A gift from Steve when he left Sweden after his year there. He used it when he was learning to skate and didn’t want to bring it home, so I put it up in my room. I’m going to do the same here.”
“Your English is excellent!” Kara said.
“Thanks. I tried to practice as much as I could before I came. We take it for seven years in school, and a lot of our TV is in English with subtitles. Steve likes to speak Swedish with me so he can practice. He’s still pretty good at it.”
“Let’s get your stuff out to the car,” I said.
I went to push the cart, but Stephanie gently pushed my hands away and pushed it.
“Don’t exert yourself yet, big brother. You don’t want those headaches to come back!”
“Yes, Your Royal Highness!” I teased.
“Bow when you say that!” she teased right back.
Kara and Sofia both laughed, and we made our way to the car. I let the girls put the cases in the trunk, and it took two of them to lift each one, except the carry-on, which Sofia brought into the car with her. She got into the back seat with Stephanie and I sat up front with Kara who drove us home.
“«Herre gud!»” Sofia exclaimed when we pulled up in front of the house. (“Oh my God!”)
“Yeah, that’s a normal response,” I chuckled. “Wait until you see the inside.”
The girls managed to get Sofia’s things up the steps to the porch and once again I was glad for the elevator, so they wouldn’t have to try to lug the bags up the stairs. To top it off, the elevator was right outside the door to the room Sofia would share with Cindi.
“«En hiss? Du skojar!»” Sofia gasped. (“An elevator? You’re joking!”)
“No joke, Sofia,” I said in English out of deference to Kara and Stephanie.
We got her things into the room and the girls shooed me away so that they could help Sofia unpack at least enough to start getting settled. Stephanie came to find me and asked for a hammer and nails and I told her they were in the large walk-in closet by the furnace in the basement. She went to get them and I was sure they were putting up the hockey stick and poster. The three of them came down laughing about thirty minutes later.
“Well, she’s not all unpacked, but she had the clothes and stuff that she’ll need for the next few days in one bag, so that one is unpacked. We should get lunch; I need to get home.”
“Sounds good, Squirt.”
The four of us went to the kitchen and had a simple lunch of sandwiches, chips and soft drinks. When we finished Stephanie packed up her stuff, said goodbye to Kara and Sofia, and then I walked her out to her car.
“Sofia’s totally cool, big brother. And she’s head-over-heels in love with you. But I think you knew that.”
“That’s been true for years.”
Stephanie laughed, “Well, I hope you’re still alive by Christmas! I saw how those two were sizing each other up at the airport!”
I laughed and shook my head. “Thanks for coming when I needed you. I really appreciate it. And I appreciate the advice, too. I’m not sure when I’ll make it down to Milford. Probably around Christmas, at the earliest. But it’ll only be for a few days if I do. This is home now, and most everyone is here. Except you. And you’ll be here in nine months.”
“I love you, big brother!” she said, hugging me and giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. “And I’ll miss you.”
“I love you too, Squirt!” I said, kissing her cheek. “And I’ll miss you as well.”
She got into her car, fired up the engine, waved and pulled away. I watched until she turned the corner and went back inside. Kara and Sofia were just coming up from the basement. I assumed Kara had given Sofia the full tour, and that was confirmed quickly.
“This house is amazing! I don’t even know what to say. A house like this in Sweden would cost so much that only ABBA or Björn Borg could afford it!”
“I suppose so! But we aren’t socialists here! Are you tired?” I asked.
“Surprisingly, no. But it’s only about 8:00pm in Göteborg right now. I do need to call my parents and let them know I’m safely here.”
“Use the phone in my office - just through the kitchen.”
“Kara showed me. Thanks.”
“Dial 011 then 46 for Sweden, then 31 for Göteborg.”
“011? Not 00?” she asked.
“Correct.”
She went to call her parents and I waited in the great room with Kara.
“She seems really nice!” Kara said. “But then all your friends are really nice.”
“I certainly think so!” I said.
A minute later Sofia came into the room, “«Far vill prata med dig.»” (“Dad wants to talk to you.”)
I got up and walked towards my office and heard Sofia tell Kara that her dad wanted to talk to me. I picked up the phone and greeted Costas Katsaros who reminded me that I had his daughter in my care and he expected her back in good health and good spirits when she came home. I promised to take good care of her and we said goodbye.
On my way back to the great room I stopped and got a house key and a room key from the key box for Sofia. I gave them to her and she put them in her pocket. I realized that I needed to fill both girls in on the basic house rules. I explained about the sign-up for the laundry room, which earned laughter from Sofia with a comment that it was just like Sweden. I explained how we handled chores and cooking, and then the weekend/weekday sauna rules.
“Most importantly, we don’t go in anyone’s room without permission, and my office is private as well. Otherwise, you have free run of the house. There’re spots set aside for you to keep your own food in the pantry, if you want.”
“I need to open my bank account and my dad needs to arrange to transfer my money from my grandfather’s account. Then I can pay my rent. Did you and dad talk that over?”
“No. I’ll tell you the same thing I told all the other girls, including Kara. You pay what you think is fair and I won’t question it. Most of the girls used the dorm ‘room and board’ rates to decide how much, but it’s up to you. I cover all the utilities, food, and taxes, so you don’t have any extra expenses unless you want special food.”
“Really? You let me decide how much to pay?” she asked.
“It’s worked fine so far. Nobody’s tried to cheat me, and I don’t expect any of you will. One thing is important - make sure you figure out how much you need for tuition and set that aside. I’d much rather you paid the school than me.”
Sofia laughed, “Trust me, that won’t be a problem. Grandfather left me enough to finish medical school with money left over. And it was sheltered in Switzerland to keep the Greek and Swedish tax authorities away from it when he died.”
“Then I’m sure you’ll decide on a fair number,” I said.
The three of us hung out for the afternoon and we had a light dinner. Sofia’s adrenaline high began wearing off just after dinner so she said that she was going up to bed. She gave me a quick goodnight kiss and headed upstairs, leaving Kara and me alone in the great room.
“Let’s go sit in the ‘Indian’ room,” I said.
We went in and I sat down in one of the basket chairs. Kara started to sit in another one and I beckoned her to sit in my lap. She smiled and curled up in my lap and rested her head on my shoulder.
“Kara, can you really handle me being with the other girls?”
“Yes. I told you before that I could. Remember?”
“It’s one thing to say it, and it’s another thing to do it.”
“Why are you asking?” she said, raising her head to look me in the eye.
“Because I care about you. And because of the way you were feeling the other day.”
“I know that you care, silly! That’s not why I was asking.”
“Because I’m trying to decide what to do.”
“Take me to your bed and ravish me!” she giggled.
“That’s not happening tonight for sure. When I can jog, then I’ll be comfortable raising my heart rate and blood pressure! I don’t want to end up with a pounding headache and have to stop.”
“Are you saying that you will?”
“Yes, Kara. I will. Just let me set the pace, please.”
She smiled broadly and kissed me softly, “I will. Are you going to see Doctor Alborg tomorrow?”
“Yes. Why don’t you come along and make an appointment.”
“That’s a good idea! When do the rest of our housemates arrive?”
“Mostly this week, though Katy and Elyse will come next week. Julia’s flying in on Thursday, I think, but Dave will take care of her. They’re going to the race with us. Bethany will be here a week from tomorrow and stay until Thursday when she’ll head up to Madison. Also, just so you know, I don’t plan to go to Ohio for Thanksgiving. Sofia, Jorge, and George can’t go home to Sweden, Puerto Rico, or the Philippines, so I’m doing Thanksgiving here. You’re welcome to stay, of course.”
“Mom won’t like that,” she said. “But I’ll think about it. What about Christmas?”
“I’m not sure how long I’ll be in Ohio, or if I’ll even bother. I may stay here.”
“Alone?”
“I suppose, but Jennifer comes right after Christmas and Tatyana comes right after New Year’s.”
“Come to Ohio, at least for Christmas Eve. You know why,” she said with an impish smile.
I kissed her and said I’d probably do that. We sat with her cuddled in my lap until bedtime, then went up to our rooms and went to sleep.
On Monday Sofia spent a lot of time unpacking her things and setting up her room. After lunch Kara and I left her at home and went to Doctor Alborg’s office. While I talked with him, Kara filled out the intake paperwork and signed the release so that Doctor Mercer could send her records and notes. Doctor Alborg and I talked about my sister and I managed, just, to convey how close we were without giving away the secret that might ruin us. When we got close to the end of the session I told him about Kara, and he asked a couple of questions to refresh his memory on my relationship with her.
“Are you two involved?”
“That’s the question of the hour. The honest answer is, I don’t know. We’re close, but we’re not a couple. She wants to resume a relationship, but I have some concerns about it. I’m taking it slow and easy, but in the long run, we’ll probably start dating, with all that entails.”
“Let me think about that. I may not be able to see both of you in that case, unless you’re getting couples counseling together.”
“If it comes to that, I’d rather you see her,” I said. “I’m in a far better place right now that I was before. It really comes down to what happened with Karin in Sweden and some long talks with my sister.”
“Let me talk with Kara and see. I’ll see you next week.”
Kara stood up when I went out to the waiting room and we walked back to the house. I asked Sofia if she wanted to go to the bank and she said that she did. Kara stayed home while Sofia and I walked to the bank hand-in-hand. I waited while she jumped through all the hoops of opening an account without a state ID, but eventually her account was opened and she had the information she needed for her dad to wire the money to her.
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September 7, 1992, Chicago, Illinois “That went reasonably well,” Michelle said when her parents drove off. “There were a few times I thought my expression would give away something I shouldn’t. You were messing with me, weren’t you?” She grabbed both my hands and smiled, “I was telling the truth, in my own way. Thank you!” She leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “So, what’s left?” I asked. “To visit UofC tomorrow and formally withdraw from classes. To spend some time with you and your...
October 1981, Chicago, Illinois I arrived back at the apartment just before 10:00pm and saw the address for the party. I decided I wasn’t particularly interested in going so I put on some music, poured myself a glass of wine, and started reading more about Russia. I was alternating between the history and culture book and the Communist Party book, decided on the history and culture book for this time. I didn’t get much reading done because I was thinking about Tatyana, which led me to...
January 23, 1996, Chicago, Illinois “Father, bless!” I said, greeting Father Basil with upturned palms. “Bless you, Stephen,” he said as I kissed his hand. The waiter showed us to a quiet table along the wall of Roditys in Greektown. He took our drink orders and was back quickly. We placed our food orders right away and he left to put them in with the kitchen. “I’m not quite sure how to address this, so I’m just going to ask you bluntly. Are you the father of Michelle’s baby?” I shook my...
June 29, 1995, Chicago, Illinois On Thursday, I finally had lunch with Melissa again, something I hadn’t been looking forward to. Much like with Cèlia, Melissa and I had passed an inflection point and I was left with sub-optimal paths forward. I’d been struggling with the possible solutions, and all of them had pitfalls. When I walked into Takumi, I had something of a plan. Whether it was good or not would only be known once everything played out. “I spoke to my wives,” I said after we’d...
December 5, 2000, Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minnesota “I had a good time last night,” I said. “I was surprised you invited a friend!” Mary laughed as we walked into the exam room, “Naomi had a good time as well. You know what a Resident’s life is like.” I nodded, “No social life.” “Exactly. You guys seemed to hit it off pretty well.” “Yes, but I’m not here for that!” “You’re everywhere for that, and you know it!” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Let’s just say that you hit the sweet spot -...
March 1980, Hovås/Göteborg, Sweden I woke early as usual, but just enjoyed being in bed with Katt. When she woke, she hopped out of bed and pulled a robe out of her closet and handed it to me. “There’s a spare toothbrush in the bathroom. Go have your shower, then we’ll have breakfast after I have my shower.” I quickly showered and brushed my teeth, and went back to Katt’s room. She went to shower and came back a few minutes later. She dressed, and I got a very good look at her sexy body...
April 5, 1997, Chicago, Illinois “You missed cuddles this morning!” Birgit said accusingly when I walked into the house about 9:30am. “I know, Pumpkin, but I had a work emergency and had to go see Aunt Joyce and Grandpa A.” “And now we have to get ready for karate!” “I know. We’ll have some family time this afternoon. I don’t have any plans.” “Good!” I hugged her and the rest of the kids, then went to find Kara. We hugged and kissed, and went straight upstairs to get ready for...
September 3, 1989, Chicago, Illinois “Good morning, Sensei,” I said, bowing to Sensei Jim. “Good morning!” he said waving me to a chair in his office. “How was your trip?” I asked. “Enlightening. I spent most of my time acting as a manservant to Sensei Robert and Sensei Hiro.” “He who will lead, must first serve,” I said. “Someday, I’m going to send you to Sensei Hiro, should he live long enough. You understand.” “Does that mean you are now 6th Dan?” I...
October 29, 2000, Chicago, Illinois Birgit followed me as far as the stairs, then scooted upstairs when I went to the front door and opened it. “Hi!” Sophie said. “Hi!” I replied and held the door open so she could come into the house. I closed the door behind her then led her to my study where I waited until she went in, and then walked in, closing the door behind me. I nodded to one of the wingback chairs, she sat down in one, and I sat down in the other. “Is something wrong?” she...
March, 1983, Chicago, Illinois Katy was quiet as we walked down the street to the coffee shop and went inside. We sat in a booth and the waitress brought us coffee and offered menus, but we declined them. As was my practice in Milford at Frisch’s I’d just leave a larger tip than usual so that the waitress wouldn’t be harmed by us each drinking a 75¢ ‘endless’ cup of coffee and not ordering food. “Katy, we need to solve this problem between us,” I said. “What problem?” she asked. “You know...
August, 1983, Chicago, Illinois I walked in the near 90°F heat to Carla’s place. I was grateful that the humidity of the morning had dropped significantly; otherwise the heat would have been unbearable. By the time I walked up the steps to the apartment over the photography studio and knocked on her door, I had broken into a light sweat. Carla answered almost immediately and invited me inside her studio apartment. The air was moderately cool, and the window air conditioner was running full...
July 1982, Milford, Ohio On Tuesday morning, I kissed Kara goodbye and headed to my parents’ house for my usual morning routine with my little sister. She was happy that I could spend the morning with her and asked to take a walk, so we weren’t in the house with my mom. “Let me guess — this walk will end in the clearing,” I said with a smile. “Yes,” she said, taking my hand as we walked down Overlook towards Klondyke. As usual, we turned around and walked back, taking the path to the...
March 13, 1994, Chicago, Illinois “Hi, Steve!” Ailea said when she opened the door. “Hi,” I replied, accepting the offered hug. There was no touching of lips, just of cheeks, and I wondered if I’d misread her intentions at her birthday lunch, or if, perhaps, she detected my reluctance to return the offered affection. “Lunch is ready, so go ahead and sit. I’ll bring it in from the kitchen.” I went to the low table, sat down, and a minute later, Ailea brought miso soup and sushi, our usual...
April 3, 1997, Dallas, Texas “Remember what I said about drinking too much,” I said, as I poured bourbon into three cups. We’d stopped at a liquor store, bought a bottle of Blanton’s, and then returned to the small suite I’d reserved at the Westin. Deborah’s room was down the hall, and Krissy’s was two floors below. Krissy’s comment had caught me a bit off guard, but I hadn’t reacted visibly. I didn’t know her quite well enough to know if she’d been teasing with Deborah, so I was being...
March 28, 1991, Chicago, Illinois “This day belongs to you, Kara!” I said when the three of us woke on Thursday morning. “Happy birthday!” Jessica said. “Thanks,” Kara replied happily. “I think I’d like an amazing birthday fuck from our husband, and then a nice loving shower with my wife!” Kara said. “Do we have enough time?” I asked. Jessica giggled, “I set the alarm for thirty minutes earlier!” “Then let’s not waste any of it!” I said pulling Kara to me. Kara’s squeals as I plunged...
September 4, 2000, Chicago, Illinois On Monday morning I went to my study to make a surreptitious call to ensure that the surprise I’d planned for Kara was still going to happen, and after confirming that it was, Jesse, Matthew, Michael, and I began preparing for the Labor Day party by getting beer and soda into coolers, getting the grill ready, setting up tables and chairs in the backyard, and ensuring the liquor cabinets were stocked while my wives and daughters worked on food prep in the...
September 1, 1987, Chicago, Illinois “I heard that you have some kind of plan to help Ed,” I said to Connie. “There’s no plan,” she replied. “A witness who saw the shopkeeper alive after Ed left came forward.” That sounded convenient, and I wondered if the witness was real or someone that Anthony had put forward to solve the problem. Certainly, the videotape was real, because I couldn’t imagine how Anthony could have faked that, but the witness? Who knew? “So is he being released? Or is...
August 17, 1997, Chicago, Illinois We finished lunch and Marissa and the younger kids went to play, but Natalie sat with the adults to talk, with coffee, tea, or soft drinks. The Sarcus were very comfortable, but the Heaths were still struggling. But, vitally, they hadn’t left and hadn’t insisted Natalie leave the group. “Can you explain how you developed this attitude and approach?” Chris asked. I nodded, “It started when I was just a bit younger than Natalie. My mom was a total control...
July 1979 — Falkenberg, Sweden On Friday, when I got back from my run, Pam was in her bra and panties again. I whistled at her, she giggled, then finished dressing. I showered, and we went to breakfast and finished up our last day. Once class was done, we were pretty much free. On Saturday, we’d have several optional activities and then on Sunday we’d head back to our host families. After dinner on Friday, I took Pam’s hand and we walked towards the river. It was quiet and peaceful, and...
July 1980, Over the North Atlantic We reached cruising altitude, and I settled back to read my book. Pam raised the armrest between us, snuggled close to me and read as well. The cabin crew offered drinks, and I had my first Coke in a year! Meal service began about an hour and a half into the flight. After the cabin crew picked up the trays and offered drinks again, they passed once more, offering headsets for the movie. Trevor and Maria took them, but Pam and I didn’t, instead we turned on...
July 8, 1997, Chicago, Illinois “Is it really that surprising?” Leah asked. “I suppose not,” I replied. “I just didn’t read too much into the kiss on the cheek.” “I didn’t think it was a good idea to kiss you on the lips with all those people around, because I had no idea who they were or what they would think. You were VERY careful with our dance, so I kind of followed your lead.” Which showed very mature thinking on her part. Both of these girls were exactly the kind of students I...
November 8, 1993, Chicago, Illinois A dark fog swirled before my eyes as I tried to take stock. My head hurt, badly. I felt something on my face and realized, dimly, it was an oxygen mask. My right hand was uncomfortable and I recognized the feeling of an IV and pulse-oximeter. My left arm ached fiercely. On my chest I felt the pads and wires of an EKG. I didn’t feel anything else wrong as I continued taking inventory. I tried to open my eyes, but the fog didn’t clear. I tried to speak, but...
August, 1983, Chicago, Illinois In the morning Anala and I ran as we had the previous time, then showered together, carefully washing each other’s bodies in an intimate but non-sexual way. After our shower we went to the kitchen and I made breakfast and we sat down to eat. “Steve, may I make a suggestion?” she asked. “Sure.” “Broaden your circle of friends. Other than me, all of you are white, nominally Christian, 20-year-old Americans. And you don’t invite me to your Sunday...
June 23, 2000, Chicago, Illinois “Steve,” Kimmy said over the intercom, “I have a Suzanne Aavik for you.” “Thanks,” I replied. “Put her through, please.” A few seconds later, Suzanne was on the line. “Hi!” she exclaimed when I greeted her. “I’m in Chicago for three weeks. Can I still run away and join the circus?” I chuckled, “You might want to find out what the circus is actually like before you join! If you’re free, you’re welcome to come to the house tomorrow or Sunday and meet the...
March 1979 Monday was back to the normal routine of school. Debbie Courtney, who lived across the street and had turned fourteen the last week in February, started flirting more with me on the bus each day. Debbie Vaughn, who lived just down the street, would turn fourteen on March 16th and invited me to her birthday party. And Donna Woody, who lived just down the street in the other direction, would turn fourteen on March 20th. She had made it clear what she wanted for her birthday, and in...
June 2, 1990, Chicago, Illinois “My office, please,” Sensei Jim said after class on Saturday. I followed him to his office and waited for him to bid me to sit. He did, and I sat in the usual chair across from him. “She has a real problem, you know that, right?” he asked. “I do. That’s why I insisted she start seeing a counselor.” “I run a huge risk having her here with that kind of temper and her violent acts.” I nodded, “I understand. May I ask what you intend to do?” “I really don’t...
February 21, 1991, Chicago, Illinois “Hi, Sweetheart!” I said, greeting Bethany at the door. “Uncle Steve!” Nicholas exclaimed. I took him from his mom and he hugged me tightly. “Is Jesse with his moms?” Bethany asked. “Yes. They won’t bring him back over tonight so you and Nicholas can surprise him in the morning.” “Perfect!” “How was the drive up?” “The same as usual. Just a bit of traffic in Northern Indiana. Otherwise, smooth sailing. It was driving the other direction that was a...