Bored Bombshell Chapter 1
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The symposium was tremendously received by the audience and the newspapers. The box that we carried everywhere in Egypt was a disguised top of the line digital camera.
It was a simple thing to set the camera to line drawing, project those drawings on a photo sensitive glass plate, follow the procedure for the plates and use Mr. Edison's electric light in a magic lantern to project the glass plate images on to a screen.
The biggest problem was choosing which plates to show.
Luxor was extremely popular. There wasn't any excavating being performed so there was the top of the sphinx and the few images of the Pyramids. Only the three ... the others wouldn't be excavated for years.
We also showed Grecian marbles and the Roman ruins. Aqueducts and viaducts, Roman roads, amphora and the supposed location of the Colossus.
Pictures of camels and Arabs, sailboats on the Nile and crocodiles sunning themselves.
There were pictures of our companions, guides and porters. Americans were so gullible. Where else could a sign This Way To The Egress fool so many?
For a penny each we dressed street girls in thin silk garments, placed them in a room with bars on the window ... a very easy thing, all windows were barred ... and called it the Harem of the Pasha. The whole series of pictures cost £2 for the girls, the silk, the cushions and the room.
An Egyptian would know immediately that the pictures were posed ... the real harem girls were captured and kidnapped Russian, French, German and Swedish girls.
The Egyptian Army was still armed with flintlocks, swords and belt knives. Those pictures were well received.
Executions ... polo using the heads of enemies ... slavery ... shocking!
Then there were the mainstay of science ... Artists renditions. I'm sure everyone has seen artists renditions ... DNA, Galaxies, Super Planets, Voyager in Space, Neanderthal man ... all kinds of paintings, drawings of what science said thus and so looks like ... even though the scientists are shocked and amazed when the real thing is discovered and it doesn't look anything like science said.
Our artists renditions of what the ruins looked like before they were ruins? ... we used photoshop. The people loved it ... we could use color.
One summer of Egypt, a fall of Rome, the winter of Greece. The lectures were free ... We didn't need the money ... but our talks took in millions that we immediately used to sponsor massive excavations ... all the while advancing the science of archaeology ... and using the name of some learned professor or other windbag so our names never appeared in publications that could be used in the unforeseen future.
Pyewacket was represented as an Egyptian Royal Mau. When men were present, Wendy wore Egyptian fashions ... I wore burnooses.
When the women were alone Wendy wore the traditional belly dance costume. Belly exposed and everything else covered ... but the coverings were multi-colored silks and fine cotton ... and very loose. Egypt is HOT in the daytime ... men and women wore the least restrictive clothing available ... and none of it was black. No bustles ... nothing commanded by Victoria ... easily donned, flowing and loose. Shocking to the European eye and morals.
Then the dance ... dumbec to set the basic rhythm and beaten brass darbuka for the fancy finger rhythms. Wendy took lessons in Egypt and purchased the finest zills, (finger cymbals) and Riq hand drums. She also bought the belly dance hip coin scarf used in Turkey. A bust covering of tiny bells and the bell ropes used to make the costume form fitting all had different chimes. A true scandal in this Victorian age. The only male allowed was me ... the drummer. I wasn't very good but go with what you got. My lessons were from a Persian and extremely sensual.
Wendy demonstrated the individual movements and then performed a dance using a combination of them all. Because of all the different coins, tiny bells and metallic dangles, each movement had a different ring. Needless to say ... Wendy was very musical.
Strange as it may seem ... some of the audience ... all women ... began to watch me. So I asked about it.
"Why do you look at me when Wendy is dancing?"
"She can do those movements at night?"
"You bet."
"How can you keep up?"
And that brought intense blushing and shushing from mothers.
"Easily ... newlyweds."
"My husband would die."
"That's why the French call it La petite Mort."
"Oh ... Oh ... OH!"
The matrons were scandalized ... their daughters came back. The law wouldn't allow us to talk about it.
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