Over The Hills And Faraway Book 4: Soldiering OnChapter 20: The Recruiting Officer free porn video

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The Army Recruiting Office (ARO) in Reading was situated in a recently pedestrianized area of the town, near to the railway station. There were plenty of retail shops, restaurants and pubs in the vicinity, and as it was the run up to Christmas the place was crowded and bustling. With the Christmas lights sparkling the whole area scintillated with festive feeling. Unfortunately, I did not share the seasonal bonhomie. Soon after arriving in Reading I had rung home, to give my new address to my mother, and she had sounded distinctly off, as in pissed off.

"You coming 'ome for Christmas?" Her question was phrased in such a manner that a negative reply was clearly the hoped for response.

"Does Miriam want me there? I suppose you will be away with Vivian over the holiday?"

"'E's gorn back to 'is missus, and Miriam's got the flu ... bloody Merry Christmas I'm going to 'ave, an' I don't need you 'ere making it even worse!"

Well that explained her less than friendly attitude. I knew better than to ask what had happened to her relationship with Vivian, although he had lasted a sight longer than most of her men friends.

Shame about Miriam having the flu, but if she wasn't feeling up to scratch she certainly wouldn't want her husband – who she had sent off with a flea in his ear – joining the party with a mother-in–law who had just been dumped. I made my excuses and hung up the phone.

The ARO was manned by 10 members of the British Army, drawn from many arms of service, and 6 civilians, all female, and most were young mothers, who worked part time on a job share basis. The military were commanded by a Captain Plume, of the Royal Engineers - 'Sappers', as they are known in the army - who was nicknamed 'Nomdee', and it was several weeks before I realised why.

Nomdee Plume's 2i/c was a Staff Sergeant, Gervase Brazen, from the 17th/21st Lancers; the Death or Glory Boys. He still wore the famous death's head badge in his beret although the regiment had been amalgamated with another lancer regiment the previous year. There were three sergeants, one of them female and five corporals, of which two were female.

Although the ARO was a military establishment it was actually run by civilians. The army personnel were posted in for a two year tour of duty, so they were always the new kids on the block as the civilians stayed in post for years. The civilian Office Manager, as she was officially known, was a 50 something, tall, stately, light brown haired woman, who ran the office as efficiently and as rigorously as any Sergeant Major I had come across. Her name was Mrs Lorna Gordon, and no one messed with her. I had been introduced to her by Captain Plume on my first day in the office. It was clear that he knew who was in charge when he introduced me.

"Mrs Gordon actually runs the show, Corporal. Keep on the right side of her!" Mrs Gordon gave me a slight smile, a firm handshake, and a look that somehow made feel like a bullock at a cattle market.

On that first day Captain Plume had given me a wide ranging introduction to the recruitment policy of the army.

"Up until quite recently the recruiting office staff made the decision whether or not to enlist a volunteer. When you enlisted you probably took the Queen's Shilling in your local recruiting office?"

He was correct. The Recruiting Sergeant Major, resplendent in No 2 Home Dress, with a rainbow of medal ribbons across his barrel chest, and the Royal Coat of Arms displayed on his sleeve, actually gave me a shilling coin, bearing in mind that the UK's currency had gone metric at least eight years previous, and that the shilling was no longer legal tender. As soon as I had scrawled my signature on the enlistment papers he had taken my limp teenage hand in his massive paw, and shook it until I feared my hand would drop off. 'Welcome to the British Army, son'. My hand was still smarting from his handshake when he pressed the coin into it. 'This is from Her Gracious Majesty.'

I thought at the time, 'big deal ... its worth all of 5p; I couldn't buy even a box of matches for that.'

Things had changed since those times, no giving out coins, and many local offices had been incorporated into larger, regional, offices like Reading.

Captain Plume continued with his briefing."The army found that many recruits couldn't hack the training or the discipline, or both, and took the option of leaving the army, free of charge, during their first three weeks of service. This was a loss in both manpower and money, as resources had already been expended on them. It was decided that an enlistee's physical and psychological attributes would be tested, before they were actually inducted into the army, at a Recruit Assessment Centre. Recruiting offices are now information centres and first contact venues, and we are charged with just getting the usual information from an applicant: level of education, type of background, and that sort of thing, before passing them onto an Assesment Centre However, it was decided that each interviewer of a possible recruit should be able to give their assessment of him/her, the criterion being – would you want that person alongside you in a trench?"

He gave a slight snort of amusement. "Of course, it is not just at The Sharp End that we need a constant stream of recruits; administration, catering, mechanics, electricians, et al, all are required, and they are not the usual professions that would normally be found in a trench. Be that as it may, the fact remains that every member of the British Army is trained as an infantryman, and might one day be standing in a trench fighting off an assault."

He lit a cigarette, after offering one to me. "Still, the greatest numbers of recruits will be bound for the 'teeth' arms of service; infantry, armour and artillery, so the trench worthiness test is probably as good as any for the most part. Before you are put on interviewing you will need to do the psychology course. It's only of four days duration, and just introduces you to the usual body language tell- tales that let you know how the applicant is really responding to your questions. The course is designed to give the basic skill of determining the trench worthiness of the applicants, although someone with your experience will have a built in instinct."

He smiled. "I suppose, like most squaddies, you have an inherent unease around trick cyclists and their ilk, but this course is run by a civvy management consultancy team in Aldershot. I throughly enjoyed the experience, and so does everyone else who has attended. Have you any questions on anything I've said so far?"

"No sir. It all seems fairly straightforward." I was pleased to learn that I was going to be in Aldershot for a few days; it would be a good chance for me to look up Wurzel Colcott.

Captain Plume stubbed out his cigarette and continued. "After tours in Northern Ireland, Bosnia and the Falklands you might find it rather dull here, but we do have our moments. Another task of the ARO is to liaise with the Territorial Army (TA). The HQ company of the Fourth Battalion (TA) of the Wessex Regiment is based at Reading Barracks, besides a TA Field Ambulance company, a transport company and a training team of the Army Catering Corps. Many TA soldiers decide to join the regular army after a few years in the 'Terriers'. We also make visits to schools and colleges, to make tenth year students aware of the career opportunities in the army. Of course we are in competition with the Royal Navy and the Royal Air Force when it comes to that. There is an Officers Training Corps at the local university, and we often get members of the Corps deciding on an army career. All in all we have a busy schedule, but of course there are no guard duties, or orderly corporal, or fire piquet, or any of those other commitments you find in the army. We work from eight am to five pm, Mondays to Saturdays, but can usually sort out a rota that allows everyone to manage a weekend home at least twice a month."

He looked at my documents on his desk. "I see that your home is in Plaistow? It is not unknown for members of this office, with homes in London, to commute to work; against the flow of traffic so to speak, as naturally there are plenty of commuters travelling from Reading into London."

"I will be living in the barrack accommodation, sir. In fact I will not be going home for Christmas and so will be available for extra duty over that period."

He looked at me warily. "Trouble at home, Corporal?"

"Let's just say my wife and I are working through some issues, sir."

He smiled with relief. "Well I know that your offer of doing extra duties over the festive season will be most welcome. The barracks are actually rather good, accommodation wise. Staff Sergeant Brazen is single and lives in the barracks, he seems happy enough with his billet."

I had already sussed that Gervase Brazen was a ladies man, and that he was playing hide the lance with the female sergeant, a bonny, full figured Scottish girl from the Royal Artillery, known as Mons Meg. In fact Gervase was known in the office as "Lance a Lot", so I would imagine Meg was not the only recipient of his lance.

I attended the course to train me up in interviewing techniques in Aldershot a week after joining the ARO, and stayed in Montgomery Lines transit block.

As soon as I was able I visited Wurzel Colcott, who had been living in Cindy's house since marrying Mandy. He had put on a bit of weight since I had last seen him, but still maintained that same deadpan humour and West Country drawl. We had a night out at his local pub, the Three Feathers, which was frequented by many of the ex-squaddies who had settled in the area after their service. It was obvious Wurzel had many friends, and I was glad to see how well he had made the transition from military to civilian life, but of course he had not joined as a boy so had previous experience of Civvy Street.

Over a pint or two we exchanged news of what we had been up to since we last met. He was interested in my time in Kenya and Bosnia, and commiserated with me on my loss of my sergeants' stripes, although he said. "Fair play, Dewey, you knew what you could be letting yourself in for when you went sniffing around that married Welsh piece. I hope she was worth it."

On reflection I suppose Ffion Probert came at a very high price, but I was now back on the track to becoming promoted to sergeant, and as long as I kept my nose clean, and more especially my todger out of women married to squaddies, I should be OK.

"So how is it now, between you and Miriam ... any chance of a reconciliation?"

I finished my pint. " Possibly – probably – given time; we're back and forth like the tide at Southend. It has been over six months since we last spoke to each other, so I expect her to be getting back in touch soon."

"You're not going home for Christmas?"

"No, I've volunteered for duty after Boxing Day up to the day after New Year's day." I grinned. "I'm after as many Brownie points as I can, and getting good reports won't hinder my promotion prospects."

"Come and spend Christmas Day with us. Mandy and Cindy will love to see you, and we've got a spare bedroom."

I was tempted; Christmas Day on my own was not something I had been looking forward to. "Well thanks, Wurzel, I really appreciate the offer." A thought suddenly struck me. "Will Mandy be doing the cooking? Isn't Cindy living with her old man in Basingstoke?"

Wurzel looked a bit embarrassed. "Yeah, she was ... get the next round in and I'll tell you all about it when I get back from having a slash."

With fresh pints before us Wurzel explained the set-up 55 Lonsdale Road, Aldershot.

The first three years of his marriage to Mandy was everything he could wish for. He had found his own sexual paradise, and visited that sublime venue several times a night, and several times during the day, practically every day, of those three years.

"I used to get to work each morning completely knackered; how the fuck I managed to drive the bus and keep awake is a mystery. Mandy wanted an early morning fuck, then a later morning fuck, and as soon as I got home she wanted a welcome-home fuck. That was before the after-tea fuck, and then the several times during the evening and night fucks. Matter of fact the day after she went up to Oxford University was the first time I had a full night of sleep, and probably drove the bus safely, for three years. Mind you, she had fucked me stupid before she left. With all the energy I was burning up I was as skinny as a rake. Weight Watchers should take up the idea of non-stop shagging as a slimming aid." He patted his belly. "I've put a bit more on since Mandy went to uni."

A few days after Mandy left for Oxford, Cindy had turned up on the door step of 55 Lonsdale Road. She and her husband had split up – again, and it wasn't long before Wurzel and she were sharing a bed, and bodily fluids – again.

"Mandy was among boys of her own age, with the same sort of intellect as she had, up in Oxford. It was natural that she, being a very passionate girl and not getting the daily infusions of hot throbbing cock that she was used to, would start shagging what was available at the university." Wurzel drank deeply from his glass. "I wasn't surprised when she told me she had been shagging other men – Mandy has always been completly honest with me. I knew that she didn't love them like she loved me, but they were there and I wasn't. So we came to an agreement."

Mandy and Wurzel had an open marriage. When she was at Oxford she shagged who she wanted to, and Wurzel shagged her mother; when Mandy came home on holiday she shagged Wurzel, and Cindy had to wait until Mandy left before she could join Wurzel in his bed. A strange relationship, but it seemed to work for them.

I stayed at Wurzel's place over Christmas, arriving after finishing work on Christmas Eve. I was a bit concerned that with Mandy in Wurzel's bed I would be expected to warm Cindy's, but there was no hint of anything like that. Mandy, now barely 20, looked gorgeous, and it was obvious she adored Wurzel. Cindy seemed quite content to see her daughter wrapped proprietarily around Wurzel, and for the energetic shagging they enjoyed, quite loudly at times, at night.

I managed to hitch a lift on Boxing Day afternoon with an army vehicle returning to Reading Barracks. It had been an interesting visit. On Christmas morning Cindy had cooked the dinner – the Full Monty of turkey and all the trimmings, and more variety of vegetables than on a costermonger's barrow. After dinner I fell asleep on the settee, stuffed as full as an egg – both me and the settee. Mandy went to see some friends from school, and the cook got a Christmas stuffing from Wurzel. In fact it was Cindy's cries of pleasure that woke me from my postprandial slumber.

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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 3 Paradise Regained and LostChapter 17 Court Martial

According to military law my offence could have been dealt with by my Commanding Officer, Lt Col. Renshawe-Todd, holding a Summary Hearing. After making his judgment he could then have awarded the punishment merited by my crime, a possible prison sentence of up to 4 years. However, Sweeney had been present at the scene of my 'crime' and so was unable to take part in any legal action against me, other than that of a witness. It had therefore been decided that I would be dealt with by a...

4 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 2 RelationshipsChapter 9 Life with Pippa January 1988October 1990

As I picked Pippa up from the armchair her mouth had fastened on mine like a love struck limpet. Our tongues delved into each other's mouths, sliding and slithering, as we gave ourselves over to the passion that had been building up since the day we had first met in the White Star cafe. Our teeth clashed; we gasped for air as we kissed, sucked, and licked. I carried her towards the staircase, in a rather ungainly fashion, her arms around my neck and her legs gripping around my waist like an...

3 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 5 Paying the PiperChapter 30 Some More Equal Than Others

Gwen disengaged her mouth from my flaccid penis. "It's no good babe ... it's like flogging a dead horse." Earlier that evening I had lost wood during a session of rumpty pumpty, and Gwen had been forced to give mouth to groin resuscitation to restore my libido, which unfortunately was a wasted effort. This wasn't the first time over the last few days I had failed to give Gwen the shagging she deserved; the shagging she expected and, quite rightly, she got bloody angry when I didn't...

3 years ago
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Nandita To Nandini

Hi, To all Iss reader this is my first story hope U all would like it a complete fiction.my self raj i live in Mumbai this story is about my aunty nandita,let me describe her she is in her 30s,lives with her husband and daughter.She is born beauty with an awesome fig of 36.28.40 ..her assets are her huge melons of 36 d and her ass that will give a hard on to any guy who looks at it So now my story starts this was like 5 years ago when I was appearing for my 12 th HSC examination at that time my...

2 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 5 Paying the PiperChapter 12 Jenny Walsh

During my lost week, or rather my lust week, with Hannah a pile of mail had accumulated at 23 Kitchener Road. The day before I moved into digs at West Drayton I went through the pile and threw most in the recycle bin. The one letter I read came from my solicitors, and contained the DNA report on the soiled sheets Miriam and Hodge were shagging between when I walked in on them. Most of the language in the report was far too technical for me to understand, but one sentence astonished...

4 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 2 RelationshipsChapter 4 December 1987 The end with Emma

I walked back to barracks, there was no public transport Sunday mornings in Aldershot and there were no taxis cruising. It didn't matter as I needed to sort things out in my mind, and I did that best when stepping out at light infantry pace. I thought I might be in love with Emma. I had told Annalise that I loved her, not long after our first bout of lovemaking, but she had laughed, kissed me and said. 'You are in love with the thought of being in love, sweetheart' Maybe it was the same...

3 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 5 Paying the PiperChapter 35 Coming Home to Roost

The enormity of what I had done by assisting Gino Frascetti to commit suicide didn't really dawn on me until my train was approaching London. If either Lenny Benson or I were suspected in any way of being involved in Gino's death we would be in big trouble. The authorities do not subcribe to mercy killing, and would arrest, and subsequently charge, anyone involved in such an act; in the worst case with murder and in the best case with manslaughter. Each crime carries a considerable time in...

3 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 5 Paying the PiperChapter 20 Faint Heart Never Won Fair Lady

On the 23rd of October 2003 I moved in with Suzannah, taking most of my personal kit and clothing from my flat in Bourne Mansions. She found room for my stuff in the huge walk-in wardrobe in the master bedroom, but didn't appear too impressed with my taste in clothing, although she kept her mouth shut, well, at least for a week or two. It didn't take me long to find a short term tenant for my Bourne Mansion flat; Iver had a good reputation as a place to live, and the Trustees insisted...

1 year ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 5 Paying the PiperChapter 23 A dish best served naked

As Gemma Sloper came out of the BBC Television Centre building in White City I opened the car door and waved. She saw me, and the car, and surprise and pleasure spread across her face. I had got from my seat and had opened the passenger door for her by the time she reached the car. "Wow ... a Porsche!" she said, running a gloved finger along the sleek wing before getting in. There was a flash of thigh as she swung herself into the leather upholstered seat. I got in beside her and turned on...

3 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 2 RelationshipsChapter 5 The Courtship of Phillipa Goddard 23rd December 1987

I walked back to the barracks with my head spinning as I struggled to take in the fact that Emma had gone. She must have known a fortnight ago that it would be our last meeting. That could explain her somewhat feverish sexual activity- had she wanted something special to look back on? Who was the other employee from her firm who had disappeared with her? Phillipa hadn't said but I assumed it to be a male as I couldn't imagine Emma without a pliable male companion. Had he been shagging her...

3 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 3 Paradise Regained and LostChapter 2 Tossa del Mar

We flew into Barcelona on the 26th May. We had booked a week at a hotel at Tossa del Mar, a small coastal village about 25 miles to the north of the city. A car from the hotel met us at the airport and as we drove along the coast road I understood why the area was called 'The Costa Brava', The Rugged Coast. Tossa del Mar had escaped the over-development suffered by other coastal villages as it did not have the large beaches of the Costa Blanca or Costa del Sol. Instead, the small secluded...

3 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 2 RelationshipsChapter 13 A Dalliance with Debbie May 1990

March and April went by with Pippa waiting to hear how her thesis had been received. She knew it could take up to 4 months to complete the review procedure, but had hoped that friends in the various universities where the thesis was being reviewed would get some idea of how things were going and let her know. "How will they know which is yours?" I asked, "I thought your thesis was entered anonymously." "They are but I've told my friends the title, so they should pick up any news by...

4 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 3 Paradise Regained and LostChapter 15 Addiction

We met at 2pm on the first Monday after Christmas, in a car park in Celle. I was off duty on the day she had specified and I wondered how she knew I would be available for our tryst. Dead on time her BMW drew into the car park, she beckoned me over and I received the full tongue and face sucking treatment as soon as I had sat down in the car. She then drove, one handed, to an autobahn rest station about 15 miles towards Hanover. We booked into a room and I joined her in what can only be...

4 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 1 IntroductionsChapter 5

I never found out where Annalise came from, anything about her family, or even how old she was. I gathered that she had been born in the German Democratic Republic, or East Germany as it was generally known. I learned all my German from her, and eventually, when I spoke it well enough, I realized her accent was from the east. Germans often remarked on my Silesian accent. Lying in bed between your teacher's thighs, buried up to your balls in her warm welcoming twat, is the best way to learn a...

2 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 1 IntroductionsChapter 4

Two months before the day of our wedding Miriam told me that she had miscarried and had lost the baby. I was home on leave and at her house when she made the announcement. Her parents had made themselves scarce when I arrived, and I had thought they were leaving us love birds alone for our benefit, but of course they just wanted to be out of the way when the news was broken. "So there's no need for you to marry me now." Miriam said, looking gravely at me-she was a solemn little piece, not...

2 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 5 Paying the PiperChapter 3 Preparations before battle

When I opened my eyes next morning the sun was streaming into the bedroom. After the calming vision of Dawn on Still Waters I had slept like a log; a long unbroken sleep with no more bad dreams. Although still nowhere near top form I felt much better than I had for days. Maggie entered the room dressed to go out. She sat on the bed and gave me a mouth full of her toothpaste flavoured tongue. "You've had a lovely long sleep, though at first you tossed and turned and cried out. Were you...

4 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 3 Paradise Regained and LostChapter 16 I meet my Waterloo

Six days after my birthday Ffion and I were sat together at a table in the opulent surroundings of the Officers Mess dining room in Trenchard Barracks. We had met on every one of the intervening six days, taking foolhardy risks of discovery as we made love where ever and whenever we could. We had even made love in Ffion's house, when Gareth and Geraint were away for the night at some motor cycle rally. I had crept into the house through the garden, after Ffion had left the gate in the panel...

4 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 5 Paying the PiperChapter 10 The Dark Side of the Loon

July 5th-20th, 2002. Plaistow. London I returned in triumph to The Crown with my supporters, and spent the evening in joyous celebration. People clapped me on the back, and bought me trays full of foaming pints and Jim Beam chasers. "Well done, Des." "Nice one, Dewey." "Good on yer, Dave." Friends from the army, childhood, and neighborhood kept me buoyant on a wave of euphoria and alcohol, and, when at last I was poured into my bed at 23 Kitchener Road, the morning star was...

3 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 5 Paying the PiperChapter 29 Through the Eye of a Needle

The day after returning from Lanzarote I was spent; physically, emotionally and monetarily, but hopefully all only momentarily. I chuckled as the silly thought came into my mind. The person in front of me, in the queue of people waiting for the ATM outside Iver railway station to become vacant, looked around in surprise. "I'm glad someone can find something funny to laugh about, mate." I raised an eyebrow "Anything in particular got you down, pal, or is it just the trivial round and...

3 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 2 RelationshipsChapter 3 Aldershot September December 1987 Life with Emma

The cab driver kept giving me funny looks as we drove through a deserted Aldershot. I could see him peering in the rear-view mirror at me but when I glanced at him he quickly looked away. He dropped me off outside the barracks and drove away shaking his head and muttering, "Squaddies today what are they like?" It was only when I got into my room and saw myself in the mirror that I realised what he had been looking at; my mouth was smeared with the vermilion lipstick from Emma's nipples....

3 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 5 Paying the PiperChapter 6 Advance to Contact

The next week passed with me going over in my mind moves to inflict the most damage on Martin Hodge in the shortest possible time. I also needed to make arrangements to obviate serving a long spell as a guest of Her Majesty. My defence stratagem was planned, but I required a top notch defence lawyer to bring the plan to fruition. As ever when I was in a bind I called on Harry Ledbetter. He was now a Lieutenant Colonel at the Ministry of Defence in Whitehall. In fact his spell in...

3 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 5 Paying the PiperChapter 28 Lady Madeline CroftonFoxe

8th Febuary, 2009. Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea. London An an expensive, high performance car is always a useful accessory when dealing with Sloane Rangers, or indeed with any other type of female, I drove to Bayswater in the Porsche. I parked as close as possible to Gemma's house, then rapped on the lion headed Georgian brass knocker on the front door. It opened to my knock so quickly someone must have been in the hallway. On first acquaintance the petite and slim Lady...

4 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 2 RelationshipsChapter 6 The Courtship of Phillipa Goddard 28th December 1987

At nine precisely I was ringing her doorbell, there was a bit of a wait until Pippa opened the door. "Sorry to keep you waiting Dewey," she smiled as she said my name, "I was washing my hair." She had a towel wrapped around her head like a turban and was wearing black slacks, a long sleeved shirt worn outside of the slacks and a woollen waistcoat; I caught the scent of shampoo and flowers as she kissed my cheek. I followed her into the hall. "There's coffee in the pot in the kitchen,"...

3 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 5 Paying the PiperChapter 2 Rest and Recuperation

2045 hours 2nd May, 2002; 23 Kitchener Road, Plaistow, London. It was dark when I came to. My 'genuine' Rolex watch, bought off a barrow in Petticoat Lane for £25, showed I'd been out for almost three hours. Everything hurt: my head, my leg, my ribs, but most of all my pride. My many extra marital relationships during our marriage debarred me from claiming the moral high ground when discovering Miriam indulging in adultery. She was merely mirroring my behaviour, and many would say...

2 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 5 Paying the PiperChapter 17 None but the Brave

I was informed in late November 2002 I would be awarded the Military Cross in the New Year's Honours list of January 2003, for 'gallant and meritorious service in Afghanistan'. The blurb went on about 'coolly fighting off an attack when outnumbered, and saving the life of a comrade', and all that bollocks. In fact I was unconscious when I fell on top of Ergash Vakil, thus saving him from being spattered by shrapnel. Billy Turner, who had saved both Ergash's and my life by arriving in...

2 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 5 Paying the PiperChapter 33 Crisis what midlife crisis

April 20th, 2009: Mortimer Crippen's Clinic, Devonshire Mews. "Good to see you, Des." Mort shook my hand with enthusiasm, "I've constructed what I believe is a feasible theory explaining the reason for your unusual type of ED." It was over two weeks since my last visit to the clinic, and as I had a free day from driving the shagging waggon, and indeed from shagging any of the passengers, I had decided to make the appointment and discover what, if anything, Mort had learned from my two...

2 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 5 Paying the PiperChapter 18 The Presentation

I spent the rest of Saturday in a daze. It wasn't Cupid's arrow which had impaled me but Suzannah Weston's smile. I walked around with a soppy grin on my face. I was in love with a beautiful woman — and we all know where that leads. It was a hopeless, hapless, amour. She had amply demonstrated her dislike, disdain and probably disgust, for me, making any chance of a relationship with her as far-fetched as West Ham United winning the Premier Championship, or me copping on with Debbie...

1 year ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 5 Paying the PiperChapter 4 Intel

The next day I moved back to my house for a couple of nights. I contacted a local estate agent, and a young lad, barely out of school, came round and measured up, and we agreed what price to put the house on the market. I was in no great hurry to sell and reckoned I would get the asking price in time. I also got in touch with a house clearance firm; practically all but the kitchen equipment could go. Most of the other furniture stemmed from my parent's era, and any new stuff in the house...

2 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 5 Paying the PiperChapter 21 Married Life

December 2003 – November 2008: London. Bertram Weston gave us a Canary Wharf penthouse apartment as a wedding present. When I say 'gave' it was actually another tax avoidance scheme, where we paid a mere pittance of a rent to some holding company in the Bahamas and Weston was then able to claw back a large proportion of any tax he had paid in the UK. I have no idea how it works, but it seems all millionaires have similar arrangements, and pay virtually sod all income tax. Bertram Weston...

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