A Well Lived Life Book 4 BethanyChapter 7 Confrontations
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July 11, 2000, Iron Mountain, Michigan
“I’m not sure what you’re trying to say, Bethany” I said, feeling frustrated and confused.
“It’s simple, Jesse - you are so much more mature and have much more knowledge than the girls your age that you need to be careful.”
“Careful of what?”
“Taking advantage of girls.”
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, “Give me a break! Are you saying that because my moms and my dad taught me about sex and because other parents didn’t teach their kids, and because my parents raised me to be responsible and independent, I can’t have sex?”
“I’m saying you have to be very, very careful because you are so much more mature and have so much more knowledge, and I guess experience, too.”
“That doesn’t make sense! It’s not like I’ve tricked a girl into having sex or anything! And I know the rules - always use birth control, always have an STD test, and always make sure it’s what she wants to do. I would never do anything she doesn’t want to do.”
“But don’t you think you could talk a girl into doing something she didn’t want to do? Or get her so excited she did stuff she didn’t want to do?”
“That’s what consent is about!” I protested. “You said so! If I was like twenty years older than the girl, then I could see it, but the girls I like are my age or a little older!”
“But what about what happened with your friends?”
“Oh give me a break! Heather thinks blowjobs are disgusting and she was dumb to tell her mom what Paul said. All my friends agree! We talked about it! You’ve got me totally confused because I did what you said we should do!”
“And I’m trying to explain how you could take advantage of girls. And even with your knowledge and maturity, it’s possible for you to be taken advantage of.”
“So, wait! I can’t have sex with girls my age because I’m too mature, but I can’t have sex with older girls because I’m too immature?”
“It’s about life experience, too.”
“Now I’m TOTALLY confused,” I sighed. “Nobody took advantage of me and I never took advantage of anybody! And I wouldn’t!”
“Just think about what I’m saying, Jesse,” Bethany said.
I shrugged, “OK.”
I went to find my dad to see if I could make sense of what Bethany was saying. I asked him to take a walk so we could talk.
“You know Bethany is being extreme, right?” he asked.
“She thinks I’m you,” I said disgustedly. “I’m not! And she doesn’t believe me!”
“I think she’s being extreme even in my case,” Dad replied. “You and I have discussed consent, as well as being cautious. Just because you know more than most kids doesn’t create an automatic imbalance.”
“She thinks April abused me.”
“Bullshit! And how does she know?”
“She doesn’t know who, or even for sure that it happened, but I think something Mom One said gave her a clue.”
“Do YOU feel as if you were abused?”
“Right! A smoking hot woman in her thirties wants to have sex with me when I’m a virgin and I’m going to feel abused? I don’t THINK so!”
Dad chuckled, “My thoughts exactly! You know I was with a woman who was older than I was for my first time, too.”
“Only nine years,” I grinned. “In that way, I did better!”
Dad laughed hard, “Is everything a competition between us?”
“Except for what Mom One calls the ‘body count’!”
“I do want to point out that it is possible for a situation where there is a huge gap in knowledge, experience, and age to be abusive, but I certainly don’t think your situation with April was one of those, and neither was mine with my first. For girls who are around your age, I don’t think you need to worry at all, and given your personal standards, I highly doubt you’ll find yourself in the kinds of situations I found myself in or which I now find myself.”
“You mean teenagers when you’re almost forty, Pops?”
“Do you want to live to be fifteen?” Dad asked, trying to sound threatening, but he wasn’t.
“Mom Two asks that all the time when I give her grief!” I grinned.
“I’m sure she does. With regard to Bethany, I’m going to tell her I think what she was saying to you is ‘bullshit’ and I am convinced it is. Just be responsible and follow the consent and STI testing rules.”
“I will,” I said firmly. “And birth control!”
“Obviously! Is there anything she said that really concerns you?”
“No, because what she’s saying just doesn’t fit how I behave. And it’s not like my brothers and sisters are going to be in the kinds of situations she was talking about. Stephie is going to marry Nicholas, Matthew is going to marry Chelsea, and Albert is going to marry Jane.”
“I thought they were already married!”
I laughed, “Maybe like Mom One and Mom Two, but not legally. They will, though; I mean Albert and Jane. And, seriously, we all know that Matthew is going to marry Chelsea. I wonder if Bethany thinks that Chelsea is ‘abusing’ Matthew and has coerced him into marrying her!”
“Riiiight!” Dad answered. “Well, he was resistant at first.”
I laughed, “Then he figured out she was pretty cool and THEN he decided that he was very interested in ‘kissing’!”
Dad chuckled, “You guys haven’t used that word to mean ‘sex’ in a long time!”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure. Anything.”
“Do you think the government will ever let Mom One and Mom Two get married? Legally, I mean.”
“Maybe someday, but I think it’s going to be a long time before that happens. And you know your moms don’t care about the piece of paper any more than I do.”
“They bitch about their taxes and how benefits like health insurance work.”
“That part is completely unjust,” Dad replied. “But until the State of Illinois gets its head out of its butt, there isn’t much that can be done.”
“What about the Feds?”
“They don’t decide who is married,” Dad replied. “That’s purely a State issue, and if a state lets gays and lesbians marry their partners, then the Feds have to recognize the marriage, just as all the other states do. My biggest fear is that Congress will fuck it up, and then the courts will fuck it up worse, instead of simply allowing the Constitution to work.”
“You mean because, say, Ohio has to recognize marriages performed in Illinois, they have to recognize same-sex marriages if Illinois were to allow them.”
“Absolutely. They can’t simply say that some marriages are OK and others are not. So once one state allows it, then people just go there to get married and that’s the end of it. Eventually, all the states will accept it. And the Feds have zero to say about it. The only way to stop it, once any state allows it, would be to amend the Constitution and I can’t see that happening. Back on our original topic, did our talk the other day help?”
“It did. I decided that all I can really do is see what happens in the future, but I can’t count on it. I was thinking maybe when Francesca and I get our driving licenses it might be possible to meet somewhere, but I don’t even know how to get in touch with her, and if I did, her mom could call the cops. So, in the end, I’m going to hang out with my friends, go on dates, and just do normal stuff.”
“I think that’s a good plan. OK to change topics?”
“Sure,” I agreed, wondering what he was thinking.
“Have you thought about being an exchange student?”
“Not really. If I was going to do something like that, I’d think about playing Major Junior hockey in Canada. I’m probably good enough to get onto a team, but I don’t think I’m good enough to make the NHL. If you think about it, there are only about sixty goalies, from the entire world, in the NHL. I’m good, but I’m not sure I’m in the top 60 in the world in my age group, and goalies in the NHL range from twenty to forty! I’ll play in High School, maybe in college, and get a job. Maybe coaching or front office for an NHL team.”
“That would be cool. I have some friends who can put you in contact with the right people when it’s time.”
“Eight years! Four in High School, four in college.”
“Time goes faster than you think, Little Duck. Shall we head back?”
“Yes.
“Jesse came to talk to me,” I said to Bethany after Jesse and I returned from our walk.
“And you’re upset because I talked to him about the knowledge gap.”
“About HOW you talked to him about it. While I understand what you’re saying, I seriously disagree with the way you’re applying it. If we follow that to its logical conclusion, only two clueless virgins born on the exact same day are permitted to have sex AND from that point on can never have sex with anyone whose experience doesn’t exactly match theirs, which is not possible unless they stay together for the rest of their lives! That’s nuts, and it’s playing right into the hands of the ‘Junior Anti-Sex League’ that’s being formed by parents to control their kids! If you want to talk to ME about it, fine, but please don’t make my kids’ lives more difficult than they already are!”
“Do you agree your kids are in a position to take advantage of other kids?”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Bethany! We’re talking teenagers experimenting with sex! What happened to your viewpoint that you wrote in Smart Teens; Smart Choices? I don’t have my copy handy, but you called it ‘natural, normal, and healthy’ so long as they practiced safe sex. And you cautioned parents to tread lightly in interfering!”
“And you and Stephanie?”
“What about it?” I asked, exasperated. “That has nothing to do with the situation we’re talking about, and you know that what I did was basically a product of emotional and mental abuse. I’m still responsible for what I did, but it has zero to do with what we’re talking about at the moment. The problem with Francesca wasn’t a knowledge gap. The problem with Heather wasn’t a knowledge gap. The problem was, in both cases, insane parents. Those parents are doing what my mom did to me - emotionally abusing their daughters because they, the parents, are freaked-out by their daughters being interested in sex or being around boys who are interested in sex. It’s nuts, Sweetheart.”
“You’ve never really understood me because you seduce teenage girls and think nothing of it!”
“Bullshit! First, I didn’t seduce you; YOU came to ME. Second, it’s been a long time since I simply fucked whomever was brought to me; a LONG time. Third, despite your accusation, I have not taken advantage of anyone. I followed YOUR consent rules! And I’ve taken it to an extreme in some cases, which, by the way, have been few and far between the last three years. Without going into specifics, the AVERAGE time from the girl deciding she wanted to be with me until we were actually together was better than two years! So don’t give me this ‘seducing teenage girls and thinking nothing of it’ bullshit! Fourth, there is absolutely nothing wrong with an experienced person having sex with a virgin. Being inexperienced is NOT the same as being clueless. Not one of those FEW girls I’ve been with the past few years was clueless. And fifth, if ANYONE understands Bethany Krajick, it’s me!”
“Are you done with your rant?”
“I’m just getting started!” I growled.
“You do remember what happened to Vizzini, right?” Bethany asked.
“Well, you can be damned sure I’m not going to drink ANY wine you’re pouring at the moment, and neither are my kids. And if I find out you’ve been talking to the ‘cousins’ the same way, I’m going to talk to Kathy, Melanie, Jackie, Cindi, Julia, Charlie, and my wives and put a stop to it. I’m not fucking kidding!”
“Done now?”
“Are you?”
“Will you at least admit it’s possible?”
“I’ll concede you could come up with an edge-case scenario which fits your theory. That said, telling Jesse he has a power disparity over every girl is, as I said, nuts. It’s not true, at least in the way you mean it. I don’t have a problem with encouraging caution, especially outside the ‘cousins’, and you know I’m fully behind your theory on consent and your guidance on safe sex.”
“You do realize the ‘cousins’, as you call them, are their own problem?”
“Oh for the love of ... stop it! Now! We’ve raised healthy, intelligent, well-adjusted kids who understand that sex is not evil or dirty or anything like that, and you’re trying to wreck it! What the fuck, Bethany? This goes against EVERYTHING you and I agreed upon which led to you losing your virginity with me. You are, in effect, agreeing with Andrea Dworkin who said that ‘penetrative intercourse is, by its nature, violent’. And while she denied believing that all sex is rape, I’d say if you consider intercourse violent, and rape is violence, that is the logical conclusion. In other words, you’ve decided that ONLY rape is possible! Jesus, Sweetheart!
“I think you’re suffering from the ‘if the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail’ syndrome. You deal with rape, incest, and abuse full-time and so all you see is abusive behavior. The way you’re dealing with Jesse is basically saying that because he has a penis and knows how to use it for its intended biological purpose, he’s a rapist! That’s NUTS! I’m going to ask you a VERY blunt question and I want a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. No shades of gray, not hemming and hawing. Did I rape you when we engaged in intercourse in the apartment back in Milford? Just ‘yes’ or ‘no’.”
“That’s not a fair question!”
“Attempting to provoke me with that word won’t work, Doctor Krajick. Answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Did I rape you that day in Milford?”
Bethany averted her eyes and I knew she realized the answer her new philosophy required, but which she could not bring herself to say.
“I want you to do two things,” I said quietly. “The first is talk to Jennifer about her experience with a girl named Jocelyn she met at Stanford, and the second is to talk to Doctor Mercer.”
“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”
“Was that EVER a question?” I teased.
“You know what I mean,” she said softly.
“And I meant what I just said. We’re both crazy and have been since before we met, but neither of us is clinically mentally ill. Just do what I ask, please.”
“Who was Jocelyn?”
“Ask Jen,” I replied. “And ask Jen about what her friend Jocelyn said about me back in the day.”
“When was this?”
“Our Freshman year. Will you agree to do those two things?”
“I feel as if I don’t have a choice.”
“If talking to Doctor Mercer or Jennifer concerns you, then you have to ask yourself why that is.”
Bethany nodded and left the room. A minute later, Kara and Jessica came in.
“What was that about?” Kara asked.
“The thing that’s been building for some time. She talked to Jesse and gave him a dose of her ‘power disparity’ theory. I needed to counter that.”
“How did this happen?” Jessica asked.
“You know how, in the past, only certain people could truly call ‘bullshit’ on my thinking?”
“Elyse, Kathy, Jennifer, and Bethany,” Kara said.
“And Sofia,” Jessica added. “But you’re much better at listening now.”
“Bethany has become such an authority in her field that nobody dared to call ‘bullshit’ on her demonstrably bullshit theory! Well, I did, and in a way that forced her to stop and think.”
“What did you say? I mean, if it’s OK to ask.”
“I simply asked her, requiring a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer, if I had raped her when we had sex the first time in the apartment back in Milford.”
“Tiger!” Jessica gasped.
“It’s a legitimate question,” I replied. “She’s spends so much time with victims of sexual abuse that she’s seeing sex as abusive in almost every case. She’s gone down the same line as Jennifer’s friend Jocelyn did almost twenty years ago.”
“Jocelyn?” Kara asked.
“A different one; not Ben van Hoek’s law partner. A radical feminist in the Andrea Dworkin school of thought, which is where Bethany has ended up, at least with regard to sex, by making a series of logical, yet fallacious, arguments. Jess, I know you’ve run into that when trying to diagnose complex cases and getting it wrong.”
Jessica nodded, “Where each step, and each decision, is perfectly logical, but we’re missing some key piece of information or giving it too little significance or, in a case like yours, have no experience with whatever we’re encountering. I know you remember that rare case from years ago.”
“Yes, you all did everything right, at least according to your training, and still the patient died. And no fault was found because what you did made sense in your minds according to your training and experience. That’s what’s happened to Bethany. The woman who wrote Why Me? and Smart Teens; Smart Choices is NOT the woman I talked to five minutes ago.”
“What are you going to do?”
“With Bethany? Continue to call her out for her bullshit, and not mince words. I should have done that sooner instead of trying to use finesse. I already talked to Jesse and I don’t think he’s messed up. I do need to talk to Jennifer and Josie, but that can wait until we get back to Chicago.”
“Is Jesse OK?” Kara asked.
“He was just confused about what Bethany was saying, but we talked it out. The thing is, none of my boys are anything like me.”
“True,” Jess replied. “And neither are Stephie or Ashley.”
“And Birgit?” Kara asked with a smirk.
“Your sex drive, my philosophy, and no belief that she should only ever be with one man? What do you think?”
Kara, Jessica, and I all laughed, then went to find the kids.
July 13, 2000, Iron Mountain, Michigan
On Thursday evening, Kurt, Tom, Eduardo, Don, and I were invited to join Grady and Bill Jr. at the Billings’ farm, while Ellen, Jodie, and the kids were invited to our rented farmhouse. Before we left, Tom pulled me aside.
“Is everything OK between you and Bethany?” he asked.
“Just a philosophical disagreement and we’ve had disagreements in the past,” I replied. “We’ll get past this. Is she OK?”
“She’s a bit out of sorts. She wouldn’t say what the issue was.”
“As I said, it’s a philosophical disagreement. I suggested she talk to Jennifer and Fran Mercer. She will.”
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May 1978 The first couple of weeks in May were busy with school, work, and friends. Except for Becky, I didn’t even have any dates. But I was OK with that. Well, almost OK. I wanted to see Anna, but it likely wasn’t going to happen until school was out. I had tutoring sessions with Melanie, but she still wouldn’t talk to me about anything other than Spanish. Barely a hello. I was grateful for the tutoring, but it was maddening seeing my friend this way. I hoped someday she could understand...
March, 1982, Milford, Ohio As I drove along I-65, I thought about what Stephanie had asked for and what Bethany had said without even knowing about the request. Of course, because Bethany and I were so in tune, she might have actually had an idea that I was struggling with getting involved with my sister again. I kept turning it over and over in my mind and I kept coming to the same conclusion — that I shouldn’t do it. I was torn between doing what Stephanie wanted and doing what Kara and...
September 7, 1992, Chicago, Illinois “That went reasonably well,” Michelle said when her parents drove off. “There were a few times I thought my expression would give away something I shouldn’t. You were messing with me, weren’t you?” She grabbed both my hands and smiled, “I was telling the truth, in my own way. Thank you!” She leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “So, what’s left?” I asked. “To visit UofC tomorrow and formally withdraw from classes. To spend some time with you and your...
October 1981, Chicago, Illinois I arrived back at the apartment just before 10:00pm and saw the address for the party. I decided I wasn’t particularly interested in going so I put on some music, poured myself a glass of wine, and started reading more about Russia. I was alternating between the history and culture book and the Communist Party book, decided on the history and culture book for this time. I didn’t get much reading done because I was thinking about Tatyana, which led me to...
January 23, 1996, Chicago, Illinois “Father, bless!” I said, greeting Father Basil with upturned palms. “Bless you, Stephen,” he said as I kissed his hand. The waiter showed us to a quiet table along the wall of Roditys in Greektown. He took our drink orders and was back quickly. We placed our food orders right away and he left to put them in with the kitchen. “I’m not quite sure how to address this, so I’m just going to ask you bluntly. Are you the father of Michelle’s baby?” I shook my...
June 29, 1995, Chicago, Illinois On Thursday, I finally had lunch with Melissa again, something I hadn’t been looking forward to. Much like with Cèlia, Melissa and I had passed an inflection point and I was left with sub-optimal paths forward. I’d been struggling with the possible solutions, and all of them had pitfalls. When I walked into Takumi, I had something of a plan. Whether it was good or not would only be known once everything played out. “I spoke to my wives,” I said after we’d...
December 5, 2000, Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minnesota “I had a good time last night,” I said. “I was surprised you invited a friend!” Mary laughed as we walked into the exam room, “Naomi had a good time as well. You know what a Resident’s life is like.” I nodded, “No social life.” “Exactly. You guys seemed to hit it off pretty well.” “Yes, but I’m not here for that!” “You’re everywhere for that, and you know it!” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Let’s just say that you hit the sweet spot -...
March 1980, Hovås/Göteborg, Sweden I woke early as usual, but just enjoyed being in bed with Katt. When she woke, she hopped out of bed and pulled a robe out of her closet and handed it to me. “There’s a spare toothbrush in the bathroom. Go have your shower, then we’ll have breakfast after I have my shower.” I quickly showered and brushed my teeth, and went back to Katt’s room. She went to shower and came back a few minutes later. She dressed, and I got a very good look at her sexy body...
April 5, 1997, Chicago, Illinois “You missed cuddles this morning!” Birgit said accusingly when I walked into the house about 9:30am. “I know, Pumpkin, but I had a work emergency and had to go see Aunt Joyce and Grandpa A.” “And now we have to get ready for karate!” “I know. We’ll have some family time this afternoon. I don’t have any plans.” “Good!” I hugged her and the rest of the kids, then went to find Kara. We hugged and kissed, and went straight upstairs to get ready for...
September 3, 1989, Chicago, Illinois “Good morning, Sensei,” I said, bowing to Sensei Jim. “Good morning!” he said waving me to a chair in his office. “How was your trip?” I asked. “Enlightening. I spent most of my time acting as a manservant to Sensei Robert and Sensei Hiro.” “He who will lead, must first serve,” I said. “Someday, I’m going to send you to Sensei Hiro, should he live long enough. You understand.” “Does that mean you are now 6th Dan?” I...
October 29, 2000, Chicago, Illinois Birgit followed me as far as the stairs, then scooted upstairs when I went to the front door and opened it. “Hi!” Sophie said. “Hi!” I replied and held the door open so she could come into the house. I closed the door behind her then led her to my study where I waited until she went in, and then walked in, closing the door behind me. I nodded to one of the wingback chairs, she sat down in one, and I sat down in the other. “Is something wrong?” she...
August, 1983, Chicago, Illinois I walked in the near 90°F heat to Carla’s place. I was grateful that the humidity of the morning had dropped significantly; otherwise the heat would have been unbearable. By the time I walked up the steps to the apartment over the photography studio and knocked on her door, I had broken into a light sweat. Carla answered almost immediately and invited me inside her studio apartment. The air was moderately cool, and the window air conditioner was running full...
July 1982, Milford, Ohio On Tuesday morning, I kissed Kara goodbye and headed to my parents’ house for my usual morning routine with my little sister. She was happy that I could spend the morning with her and asked to take a walk, so we weren’t in the house with my mom. “Let me guess — this walk will end in the clearing,” I said with a smile. “Yes,” she said, taking my hand as we walked down Overlook towards Klondyke. As usual, we turned around and walked back, taking the path to the...
March 13, 1994, Chicago, Illinois “Hi, Steve!” Ailea said when she opened the door. “Hi,” I replied, accepting the offered hug. There was no touching of lips, just of cheeks, and I wondered if I’d misread her intentions at her birthday lunch, or if, perhaps, she detected my reluctance to return the offered affection. “Lunch is ready, so go ahead and sit. I’ll bring it in from the kitchen.” I went to the low table, sat down, and a minute later, Ailea brought miso soup and sushi, our usual...
April 3, 1997, Dallas, Texas “Remember what I said about drinking too much,” I said, as I poured bourbon into three cups. We’d stopped at a liquor store, bought a bottle of Blanton’s, and then returned to the small suite I’d reserved at the Westin. Deborah’s room was down the hall, and Krissy’s was two floors below. Krissy’s comment had caught me a bit off guard, but I hadn’t reacted visibly. I didn’t know her quite well enough to know if she’d been teasing with Deborah, so I was being...
March 28, 1991, Chicago, Illinois “This day belongs to you, Kara!” I said when the three of us woke on Thursday morning. “Happy birthday!” Jessica said. “Thanks,” Kara replied happily. “I think I’d like an amazing birthday fuck from our husband, and then a nice loving shower with my wife!” Kara said. “Do we have enough time?” I asked. Jessica giggled, “I set the alarm for thirty minutes earlier!” “Then let’s not waste any of it!” I said pulling Kara to me. Kara’s squeals as I plunged...
September 4, 2000, Chicago, Illinois On Monday morning I went to my study to make a surreptitious call to ensure that the surprise I’d planned for Kara was still going to happen, and after confirming that it was, Jesse, Matthew, Michael, and I began preparing for the Labor Day party by getting beer and soda into coolers, getting the grill ready, setting up tables and chairs in the backyard, and ensuring the liquor cabinets were stocked while my wives and daughters worked on food prep in the...
September 1, 1987, Chicago, Illinois “I heard that you have some kind of plan to help Ed,” I said to Connie. “There’s no plan,” she replied. “A witness who saw the shopkeeper alive after Ed left came forward.” That sounded convenient, and I wondered if the witness was real or someone that Anthony had put forward to solve the problem. Certainly, the videotape was real, because I couldn’t imagine how Anthony could have faked that, but the witness? Who knew? “So is he being released? Or is...
August 17, 1997, Chicago, Illinois We finished lunch and Marissa and the younger kids went to play, but Natalie sat with the adults to talk, with coffee, tea, or soft drinks. The Sarcus were very comfortable, but the Heaths were still struggling. But, vitally, they hadn’t left and hadn’t insisted Natalie leave the group. “Can you explain how you developed this attitude and approach?” Chris asked. I nodded, “It started when I was just a bit younger than Natalie. My mom was a total control...
July 1979 — Falkenberg, Sweden On Friday, when I got back from my run, Pam was in her bra and panties again. I whistled at her, she giggled, then finished dressing. I showered, and we went to breakfast and finished up our last day. Once class was done, we were pretty much free. On Saturday, we’d have several optional activities and then on Sunday we’d head back to our host families. After dinner on Friday, I took Pam’s hand and we walked towards the river. It was quiet and peaceful, and...
July 1980, Over the North Atlantic We reached cruising altitude, and I settled back to read my book. Pam raised the armrest between us, snuggled close to me and read as well. The cabin crew offered drinks, and I had my first Coke in a year! Meal service began about an hour and a half into the flight. After the cabin crew picked up the trays and offered drinks again, they passed once more, offering headsets for the movie. Trevor and Maria took them, but Pam and I didn’t, instead we turned on...
July 8, 1997, Chicago, Illinois “Is it really that surprising?” Leah asked. “I suppose not,” I replied. “I just didn’t read too much into the kiss on the cheek.” “I didn’t think it was a good idea to kiss you on the lips with all those people around, because I had no idea who they were or what they would think. You were VERY careful with our dance, so I kind of followed your lead.” Which showed very mature thinking on her part. Both of these girls were exactly the kind of students I...
November 8, 1993, Chicago, Illinois A dark fog swirled before my eyes as I tried to take stock. My head hurt, badly. I felt something on my face and realized, dimly, it was an oxygen mask. My right hand was uncomfortable and I recognized the feeling of an IV and pulse-oximeter. My left arm ached fiercely. On my chest I felt the pads and wires of an EKG. I didn’t feel anything else wrong as I continued taking inventory. I tried to open my eyes, but the fog didn’t clear. I tried to speak, but...
August, 1983, Chicago, Illinois In the morning Anala and I ran as we had the previous time, then showered together, carefully washing each other’s bodies in an intimate but non-sexual way. After our shower we went to the kitchen and I made breakfast and we sat down to eat. “Steve, may I make a suggestion?” she asked. “Sure.” “Broaden your circle of friends. Other than me, all of you are white, nominally Christian, 20-year-old Americans. And you don’t invite me to your Sunday...
June 23, 2000, Chicago, Illinois “Steve,” Kimmy said over the intercom, “I have a Suzanne Aavik for you.” “Thanks,” I replied. “Put her through, please.” A few seconds later, Suzanne was on the line. “Hi!” she exclaimed when I greeted her. “I’m in Chicago for three weeks. Can I still run away and join the circus?” I chuckled, “You might want to find out what the circus is actually like before you join! If you’re free, you’re welcome to come to the house tomorrow or Sunday and meet the...
March 1979 Monday was back to the normal routine of school. Debbie Courtney, who lived across the street and had turned fourteen the last week in February, started flirting more with me on the bus each day. Debbie Vaughn, who lived just down the street, would turn fourteen on March 16th and invited me to her birthday party. And Donna Woody, who lived just down the street in the other direction, would turn fourteen on March 20th. She had made it clear what she wanted for her birthday, and in...
June 2, 1990, Chicago, Illinois “My office, please,” Sensei Jim said after class on Saturday. I followed him to his office and waited for him to bid me to sit. He did, and I sat in the usual chair across from him. “She has a real problem, you know that, right?” he asked. “I do. That’s why I insisted she start seeing a counselor.” “I run a huge risk having her here with that kind of temper and her violent acts.” I nodded, “I understand. May I ask what you intend to do?” “I really don’t...
February 21, 1991, Chicago, Illinois “Hi, Sweetheart!” I said, greeting Bethany at the door. “Uncle Steve!” Nicholas exclaimed. I took him from his mom and he hugged me tightly. “Is Jesse with his moms?” Bethany asked. “Yes. They won’t bring him back over tonight so you and Nicholas can surprise him in the morning.” “Perfect!” “How was the drive up?” “The same as usual. Just a bit of traffic in Northern Indiana. Otherwise, smooth sailing. It was driving the other direction that was a...
November 4, 2000, Chicago, Illinois “Good morning, Sensei,” Miyu said when Kara, the girls, and I walked into the dojo on Saturday morning. “Good morning, Miyu.” “Do you have a moment, please?” I nodded and we went to the small practice room for privacy, as Sensei Jim had a family in his office. “What can I do for you?” “I need you to meet a young man,” she said. “I think you might be taking this ‘not do anything without permission’ a bit too far!” Miyu shook her head, “No, I’m not....
May 1979 The limo dropped me at home about 9:00pm. I took my stuff to my room, stripped, and hung up the tux. The rest of the things went into the hamper. I took a shower, put on shorts and a t-shirt, and walked down the hall into my dad’s office. I saw no reason to put this off any longer. “Stephen, you need to explain yourself!” my mom demanded. “I was in Mrs. McGrath’s, well, Mrs. Sanders’ now, wedding, as I said.” “You walked her down the aisle! You’re sixteen and not even related to...
November 3, 1990, Chicago, Illinois “I still don’t understand why you told everyone to leave Katy alone last night,” Elyse said on Saturday morning. “Because we weren’t going to talk her out of it. I could tell by the way she told us. I hoped letting her sleep on it would allow her to hear what we had to say. Obviously I was wrong.” “I was surprised that she wouldn’t talk to Jennifer at all,” Kara said. “I thought Jennifer would be the one to get her to listen to reason this morning.” I...
February, 1983, Chicago, Illinois Our first joining since the previous summer was slow and sweet, trying to express our deep love for each other through the motions of our bodies. When we finished, Karin held me tight and refused to let me move off of her. “Sleep there, please,” she whispered. I kissed her once more then adjusted my pillow so that I could rest my head next to hers. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but it was what Karin wanted. The feel of her firm body under mine,...