Autoloading ShotgunChapter 1 Dammit why are Mondays like this
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January 7, 1994, Chicago, Illinois
“Are we all set for the bridal shower tonight?” I asked at breakfast on Friday.
“I think so,” Kara answered. “Jess, Elyse, Michelle, and I have it under control. You guys have the run of the basement, and we’ll be in the attic room. The first floor is neutral territory!”
I chuckled, “Our very own demilitarized zone?”
“We decided we should all have champagne and hors d’oeuvres together at 7:00pm, then split up for the parties. Oh, and you have the sunroom for when you smoke your cigars.”
“Thanks. I do prefer to keep it in that one room. Opening those small upper windows lets the smoke out without letting in too much cold air. It’s supposed to be below zero tonight!”
“And not your Celsius zero!” Elyse said. “Brr!”
“We won’t crack 10°F tomorrow,” I said. “No outdoor wedding!”
“Make sure you build a nice fire, Tiger,” Jessica added.
“I will.”
“Don’t forget my car is being delivered today,” she said. “I won’t need a ride home.”
We’d decided to lease her a BMW which was identical to my current car, which was itself going to be replaced in July. The timing was off, so with Elyse’s help, we’d done a thirty-month lease. Once my new car came off lease, we’d buy it and it would be hers.
“Do you plan to drive in or ride with us?” I asked.
She smiled, “The old Jessica would have taken her own car. I’ll ride with you and Elyse.”
Kara smiled broadly. Jessica was trying. And that was the most important thing. Elyse noticed something else, but she didn’t mention it until we’d dropped Jessica at the hospital.
“I was shocked when Jessica didn’t give you grief about smoking cigars,” Elyse said.
“She’s trying. And I’m OK with her reminding me about it occasionally. It was the fight she tried to start every time that was really grating on me.”
“You know I still think this is a bad idea, right?”
“I know you don’t think this will end any better than the last two times, but I have to try. Kara’s wary, but she’s trying for the same reason I am - we love Jess. And we love our kids. Remember, Jess isn’t in control; I am. That’s a big difference.”
“True,” Elyse said. “The last two times you pretty much let her dictate things.”
“I may be slow, but I do eventually learn my lessons. I take it we’re leaving early?”
“Yes. Michelle is coming home straight from church. She and Kara will start preparing things, and Bethany’s part-timer will come in at noon so Bethany can escape early as well.”
“Sounds like you have everything under control, as usual.”
“What’s that line you quote from The Firm? What do you think I am around here, a fucking night watchman?”
I chuckled, “You do like to fuck at night!”
“And during the day!” she laughed. “You know, it’s funny. I thought that’s what I would miss now that we aren’t together as much, but it’s the closeness afterwards. That’s when we had some of our best talks.”
“You’re in control of that, Ms. Clarke. Well, now that I’m relatively healthy.”
“Speaking of which, are you going to karate tomorrow?”
“No. I’ll start up again next Saturday. With the party tonight and the wedding tomorrow I want to pace myself.”
Not to mention that Michelle and I had scheduled a ‘play date’ for Saturday afternoon which was now moving to Saturday before lunch.
“Any night next week is good,” she said. “December was bad, and I understand.”
“And when you move?” I asked, as I pulled into my parking space.
We got out of the car and walked quickly in the bitter cold, not resuming the conversation until we were safely inside. We both said ‘good morning’ to Lucas, took off our coats, and moved into the inner office and went upstairs.
“I don’t know,” she sighed when we stopped at the door to her office. “Eduardo will be living with me then, so that complicates things.”
“You have talked this through with him, right? All of it?”
“Yes, of course! But that doesn’t mean easy solutions present themselves. You of all people should know that!”
“Nothing is simple around Cirque du Steve,” I chuckled. “3:00pm?”
“Sounds good!”
I went on to my office, prepared to cram eight hours of work into six. I got most everything I needed to done by working thorough lunch and ignoring everything except the tasks I absolutely had to complete. Elyse and I left at 3:05pm and headed home to prepare for the joint parties.
“I ordered the pizza for dinner,” Kara said when Elyse and I walked in. “It’ll be here at 5:30pm. Kayla and Shanita will be here at 6:45pm to watch the kids.”
“Thanks, Kara!”
“Your eldest daughter is dusting and your two eldest boys are assembling the plastic champagne glasses.”
“I noticed you assigned them separate tasks!” I chuckled.
“None of us have time to referee Jesse and Birgit arguing over the right way to put the glasses together!”
“The stems go into the bases!” Michelle laughed. “What’s to argue about?”
“You do know the children we’re talking about, right?” I laughed. “If Birgit said it was dark out, Jesse would marshal facts and figures to prove, indisputably, that it was broad daylight!”
“True,” she agreed. “What do you need me to do?”
“Ask Kara or Elyse; they’re running the girls’ side of this, plus the joint party beforehand. The men are easy. I’ll set up a couple of card tables in the basement and put out the cigars and brandy snifters in the sunroom and be all set.”
“Men ARE simple,” Kara laughed. “Some booze, a cigar, and a blowjob and they’ll be happy!”
Michelle blushed, but she laughed along with Elyse and Kara. I got MY laugh next.
“Mommy?” Birgit asked, coming into the kitchen, “What’s a blowjob?”
I thought I was going to tear a muscle I laughed so hard. I quickly left the room to the call of ‘Coward!’ from Kara as I made my escape. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was explain oral sex to my nearly six-year-old daughter! I made sure I spent long enough in the basement so that it would be safe to return to the kitchen.
“I can’t believe how fast you ran from the room, Mr. Adams!” Elyse laughed. “Seriously?”
“Somehow I don’t think a dad is the right person to explain THAT particular aspect of sex to a daughter!”
“You missed the reaction, though!” Kara giggled. “She said, ‘Oh!’ and then asked the question she had intended when she came in.”
“Only YOUR daughter, at five years and eight months, would simply shrug off that information!” I laughed.
“If you think about it, it makes sense that she didn’t freak out. We’re open and honest about sex. I just told her what the word meant and that it was a way to make a boy feel good. She said ‘Oh!’ and that was it.”
“God help us all when that kid is thirteen or fourteen!” I chuckled.
“This should come as NO surprise!” Elyse laughed. “She’s Kara’s daughter! And yours!”
“And Jesse is my son with Jen! I guess it’s not the same combination with you - Matthew was singularly uninterested in Chelsea’s offer of marriage!”
“Offer?” Elyse smirked. “I do believe she stated it as an uncontested fact!”
“He was having none of it! I think having three little sisters and five moms has him sworn off girls for the near term!”
The phone rang and I walked over to answer it. I listened, expressed my congratulations, and hung up.
“That was Tasha. Svetlana had her baby just before lunch. A boy, «Евгений Андреевич».” (Evgeni Andreievich)
“Oh, cool!” Michelle said. “She was VERY uncomfortable at church last Sunday!”
“Being nine months’ pregnant was horrid,” Elyse said. “Well, except for Kara here, who loved being pregnant so much it never bothered her!”
“I was born to be a mom,” Kara said with a smile. “Isn’t today Tanya’s birthday?”
“Yes. And Nativity for the Old Calendar folks! Michelle was in church this morning. I called Tatyana to wish her ‘Happy Birthday’ this morning right before I left to run with Gina.”
We finished getting everything ready just before Jessica, Jennifer, and Josie arrived home. We had our pizza dinner with the kids, and had just cleared away the plates from the table when the babysitters arrived. The guests began to arrive a few minutes after that, and just after 7:00pm about sixty people were gathered in the great room.
“Abbie threatened me with severe bodily harm if I spoke too long or told any jokes,” I grinned. “So I’ll simply say this - a toast to our friends who will tie the knot tomorrow!”
“Cheers!” rang out from the assembled throng, and we all drank our champagne.
Everyone helped themselves to snacks or hors d’oeuvres and we spent about twenty minutes talking, drinking, and eating until Kara, Elyse, and Michelle invited the women upstairs. I invited everyone to the sunroom for a cigar and about half the men took me up on the offer, with the rest heading to the basement.
“I see your mentor went downstairs after giving you a dirty look,” Dave laughed.
I chuckled, “Al Barton will never be happy with me smoking even a single cigar, but in this instance, screw it! How often do we celebrate like this?”
“Not too often,” he grinned. “Jessica has kept you on a short leash with regard to stogies!”
“I totally get their point, but they don’t agree with my theory that it’s better to die at 65 having enjoyed life than die at 85 having hated it!”
“Amen, brother!” Jamie said. “I think we’re all pretty safe in that regard!”
“Assuming we make it that long,” Howard said with a sigh. “Shall we drink a toast to fallen comrades and absent friends? Nick and Jorge?”
“Pour the bourbon, Commander,” I said.
He did, and the men all set their brandy snifters aside and picked up shot glasses full of bourbon.
“To Nick Evans, husband, father, friend, and comrade - fair winds and following seas,” Karl said.
“Nick!” all the men said, and drank their shots.
While Howard and Dave refilled the glasses, I pulled out the ‘Lucy nickel’ I kept in my pocket and held it up.
“To Lucy; I love you man, wherever you are!”
“Lucy!” the guys all repeated and then we all drank our bourbon.
Thinking of them made me think of Stephie and Birgit as well. And Don Joseph, though his situation was different. I had a sobering thought looking around the room. Some of the men were approaching forty, and although he’d gone to the basement, Al Barton was 54. My dad was going to turn 77 in August. I pushed those thoughts from my mind and walked over to Jason.
“Are we going to see LeAnn and her family tomorrow?”
He nodded, “Yep. My parents, too. They’ll all be here around noon. They’re driving halfway this afternoon, and the rest of the way tomorrow. Abbie’s parents aren’t coming.”
“She told me,” I said. “She seemed OK with that.”
“She hasn’t seen them in nearly five years,” he said. “She’s happy with your family and her friends here. She keeps telling me you made her a new person!”
I shook my head, “That person was always inside, waiting to be set free. It just took teaching her about love.”
Jason nodded, “Stephie always said you knew how to bring out the best in people.”
“And she brought out the best in me,” I said. “It was my great privilege to know her.”
He smiled, “She loved you until the day she died.”
“And if there’s ANY justice in the universe, any justice at all, we’ll both see her again.”
Jason nodded and we smoked our cigars in silence. A couple of other guys came over and started talking to him, so I moved back to where Dave, Jamie, Karl, Howard, and Brian were standing.
“Where’s the Marshal?” Karl asked.
“Albuquerque, of all places,” I said. “He had to escort a federal prisoner to a funeral. He’ll be back tomorrow in time for the wedding. Melanie is upstairs with the girls.”
We finished our cigars and everyone headed down to the basement to drink, eat, talk, play pool, and play poker.
“Shouldn’t we have strippers or something?” Brian asked.
I chuckled, “Walk up the stairs, take the elevator to the attic and ask Samantha’s opinion on that.”
I definitely would NOT tell him to ask Kara that question! If I did, the GIRLS would have strippers faster than I could say ‘Jack Robinson’!
“Maybe he wants US to strip?” Jamie laughed. “He IS in the Navy after all!”
There were loud guffaws from most of the guys.
“That’s EXACTLY the kind of thing Jorge would have said,” I chuckled.
“Or my wife,” Terry laughed.
“Your wife is impossible!” Dave said. “She has been since the first day she peeked over the fence and saw our host!”
“Impossible she may be, but she’s the best programmer you have!” Terry grinned. “Well, at least until the Boss decides to step out of the big chair and be a programmer again!”
“That cannot happen soon enough,” I said firmly.
“As your lawyer, I’d advise you to keep running the place,” Jamie said. “You’re doing an excellent job.”
“And as your friend, I’d advise you NOT to,” Kurt laughed, “because your sister will kill you!”
“She’s a pussycat!” Ed said, trying to keep a straight face, and not managing to.
“Are we going to play cards or talk like a bunch of women?” Karl asked.
“Is that an order, Commander?” I grinned.
“Yes! Now, stand to and let’s play some cards!”
January 8, 1994, Chicago, Illinois
“Time for Show and Tell,” I said with a huge grin as I walked into Michelle’s room after breakfast.
She blushed deep red and giggled nervously. I locked the door behind me and put my toy bag on the bed. I extended my hand to Michelle and she came to me and we kissed softly. I led her to the bed were we sat cross-legged, facing each other, with the bag between us.
“You’re sure?” I asked.
Michelle bit her lower lip and nodded, “Yes.”
I felt I should start simply, so I unzipped the bag and reached in and pulled out the coiled soft ropes.
“These would be used to tie up your partner. Usually to the bed frame.”
“And that’s something you like?”
“It’s something some of my partners have liked, so I’ve done it with them. Both tying them up and having them tie me up.”
“Why?”
“You’d have to talk to them to get a real answer, but some girls have fantasies of being dominated and helpless.”
“And you’ll tell me who these girls are?” Michelle smirked.
“That’s probably not the best idea,” I grinned.
“No, it probably isn’t.”
I took out the blindfolds.
“I like to see you!” she giggled. “Why blindfolds? You could just turn off the lights!”
“If I were to tie you up and blindfold you, I could leave the lights on!”
“True. So it’s exciting to not be able to see?”
“I think part of it is the mystery that comes with it. You don’t know from watching your partner what they might do next.”
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“So, how should we do these Stone’s songs?” Phil asked at our rehearsal session. “I think we all know the music, we just need to come up with a pretty awesome arrangement; we don’t want to sound like yet another cheap cover band.” “I had some ideas, if it’s okay for me to make some suggestions,” Allison said. “Of course it is,” Phil said. “Everyone can have a say, there’s no rule that says you can’t participate in the discussion.” “Thanks, Phil, I guess being the newest here, I’m a bit...
May 11, 1992, Chicago, Illinois Monday was turning out to be a LONG day. After my run and talk with Gina, and my talk with Elyse, I had a full day at the office scheduled. First was our leadership meeting in the morning, and then I had status meetings with each team. At lunch I’d gone to see Siobhán and explained that I was going to break off the sexual relationship, but that I wanted to remain friends. She was disappointed, but admitted that Thursday would have been the last time, since she...
January 19, 1989, En-Route from LAX to ORD When the engines of the plane started, Jeri reached over and took my hand. She held it while we pushed away from the gate, and taxied for takeoff. Her grip tightened a bit as we hurtled down the runway, but nothing like the death grip she’d had on my arm for the flight out. The plane roared its way into the air and once we leveled out, Jeri’s grip loosened but she didn’t let go of my hand. “How are you doing?” I asked with a touch of...
September 1982, Chicago, Illinois The weekend was quiet and besides homework, I worked on the program changes for Frank, called Karin, Tatyana, and Kara, and hung out with my usual study group. Monday was refreshingly normal. On Tuesday morning, I handed Katy my completed intake form. She put it in an envelope and stuck it in her bag. She said she’d let me know soon about the interview. On Tuesday afternoon, after having lunch with Stephie, I made my rounds and then I headed over to Sigma...
October 1982, Chicago, Illinois The drive back to Chicago was as uneventful as usual, and I arrived at the apartment just before 6:00pm. When I arrived, Elyse and Stephie were sitting on the couch and Jackie was sitting on the loveseat. Stephie hopped up as I opened the door and greeted me with a hug and a kiss. “Hi, Peaches!” I said. “Glad you’re home, Yankee!” “Hi, Steve,” Elyse and Jackie both said. “Hey,” I replied. “How was the weekend?” “Well, it was just Kurt with me, Stephie,...
July 3, 1996, Chicago, Illinois I blinked several times and took a breath before responding. It didn’t help. The best I could do was contain my visceral reaction at her completely out-of-line request and her wrong-headed assumptions when she had NO idea what had happened in my life the previous eight months. “What makes you think you can make that request after refusing to talk to me for nearly eight months? And equally importantly, without explaining Alexi? And without giving me the first...
June 11, 1989, Chicago, Illinois It was just after 3:00am when I kissed Trish goodbye. She’d been an enthusiastic, energetic, and adventurous lover. We’d done just about anything either of us could think of, though her breasts weren’t large enough for a tit-fuck. The last time had been in the shower where we’d ostensibly gone to clean up afterwards, but instead I ended up taking her from behind as she leaned against the wall of the shower. “I think I’ll have you again, Steve Adams,” she...
May 1978 The first couple of weeks in May were busy with school, work, and friends. Except for Becky, I didn’t even have any dates. But I was OK with that. Well, almost OK. I wanted to see Anna, but it likely wasn’t going to happen until school was out. I had tutoring sessions with Melanie, but she still wouldn’t talk to me about anything other than Spanish. Barely a hello. I was grateful for the tutoring, but it was maddening seeing my friend this way. I hoped someday she could understand...
March, 1982, Milford, Ohio As I drove along I-65, I thought about what Stephanie had asked for and what Bethany had said without even knowing about the request. Of course, because Bethany and I were so in tune, she might have actually had an idea that I was struggling with getting involved with my sister again. I kept turning it over and over in my mind and I kept coming to the same conclusion — that I shouldn’t do it. I was torn between doing what Stephanie wanted and doing what Kara and...
September 7, 1992, Chicago, Illinois “That went reasonably well,” Michelle said when her parents drove off. “There were a few times I thought my expression would give away something I shouldn’t. You were messing with me, weren’t you?” She grabbed both my hands and smiled, “I was telling the truth, in my own way. Thank you!” She leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “So, what’s left?” I asked. “To visit UofC tomorrow and formally withdraw from classes. To spend some time with you and your...
October 1981, Chicago, Illinois I arrived back at the apartment just before 10:00pm and saw the address for the party. I decided I wasn’t particularly interested in going so I put on some music, poured myself a glass of wine, and started reading more about Russia. I was alternating between the history and culture book and the Communist Party book, decided on the history and culture book for this time. I didn’t get much reading done because I was thinking about Tatyana, which led me to...
January 23, 1996, Chicago, Illinois “Father, bless!” I said, greeting Father Basil with upturned palms. “Bless you, Stephen,” he said as I kissed his hand. The waiter showed us to a quiet table along the wall of Roditys in Greektown. He took our drink orders and was back quickly. We placed our food orders right away and he left to put them in with the kitchen. “I’m not quite sure how to address this, so I’m just going to ask you bluntly. Are you the father of Michelle’s baby?” I shook my...
June 29, 1995, Chicago, Illinois On Thursday, I finally had lunch with Melissa again, something I hadn’t been looking forward to. Much like with Cèlia, Melissa and I had passed an inflection point and I was left with sub-optimal paths forward. I’d been struggling with the possible solutions, and all of them had pitfalls. When I walked into Takumi, I had something of a plan. Whether it was good or not would only be known once everything played out. “I spoke to my wives,” I said after we’d...
December 5, 2000, Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minnesota “I had a good time last night,” I said. “I was surprised you invited a friend!” Mary laughed as we walked into the exam room, “Naomi had a good time as well. You know what a Resident’s life is like.” I nodded, “No social life.” “Exactly. You guys seemed to hit it off pretty well.” “Yes, but I’m not here for that!” “You’re everywhere for that, and you know it!” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Let’s just say that you hit the sweet spot -...
March 1980, Hovås/Göteborg, Sweden I woke early as usual, but just enjoyed being in bed with Katt. When she woke, she hopped out of bed and pulled a robe out of her closet and handed it to me. “There’s a spare toothbrush in the bathroom. Go have your shower, then we’ll have breakfast after I have my shower.” I quickly showered and brushed my teeth, and went back to Katt’s room. She went to shower and came back a few minutes later. She dressed, and I got a very good look at her sexy body...
September 3, 1989, Chicago, Illinois “Good morning, Sensei,” I said, bowing to Sensei Jim. “Good morning!” he said waving me to a chair in his office. “How was your trip?” I asked. “Enlightening. I spent most of my time acting as a manservant to Sensei Robert and Sensei Hiro.” “He who will lead, must first serve,” I said. “Someday, I’m going to send you to Sensei Hiro, should he live long enough. You understand.” “Does that mean you are now 6th Dan?” I...
August, 1983, Chicago, Illinois I walked in the near 90°F heat to Carla’s place. I was grateful that the humidity of the morning had dropped significantly; otherwise the heat would have been unbearable. By the time I walked up the steps to the apartment over the photography studio and knocked on her door, I had broken into a light sweat. Carla answered almost immediately and invited me inside her studio apartment. The air was moderately cool, and the window air conditioner was running full...
July 1982, Milford, Ohio On Tuesday morning, I kissed Kara goodbye and headed to my parents’ house for my usual morning routine with my little sister. She was happy that I could spend the morning with her and asked to take a walk, so we weren’t in the house with my mom. “Let me guess — this walk will end in the clearing,” I said with a smile. “Yes,” she said, taking my hand as we walked down Overlook towards Klondyke. As usual, we turned around and walked back, taking the path to the...
March 13, 1994, Chicago, Illinois “Hi, Steve!” Ailea said when she opened the door. “Hi,” I replied, accepting the offered hug. There was no touching of lips, just of cheeks, and I wondered if I’d misread her intentions at her birthday lunch, or if, perhaps, she detected my reluctance to return the offered affection. “Lunch is ready, so go ahead and sit. I’ll bring it in from the kitchen.” I went to the low table, sat down, and a minute later, Ailea brought miso soup and sushi, our usual...
April 3, 1997, Dallas, Texas “Remember what I said about drinking too much,” I said, as I poured bourbon into three cups. We’d stopped at a liquor store, bought a bottle of Blanton’s, and then returned to the small suite I’d reserved at the Westin. Deborah’s room was down the hall, and Krissy’s was two floors below. Krissy’s comment had caught me a bit off guard, but I hadn’t reacted visibly. I didn’t know her quite well enough to know if she’d been teasing with Deborah, so I was being...
March 28, 1991, Chicago, Illinois “This day belongs to you, Kara!” I said when the three of us woke on Thursday morning. “Happy birthday!” Jessica said. “Thanks,” Kara replied happily. “I think I’d like an amazing birthday fuck from our husband, and then a nice loving shower with my wife!” Kara said. “Do we have enough time?” I asked. Jessica giggled, “I set the alarm for thirty minutes earlier!” “Then let’s not waste any of it!” I said pulling Kara to me. Kara’s squeals as I plunged...
September 4, 2000, Chicago, Illinois On Monday morning I went to my study to make a surreptitious call to ensure that the surprise I’d planned for Kara was still going to happen, and after confirming that it was, Jesse, Matthew, Michael, and I began preparing for the Labor Day party by getting beer and soda into coolers, getting the grill ready, setting up tables and chairs in the backyard, and ensuring the liquor cabinets were stocked while my wives and daughters worked on food prep in the...
I ain't never been the owner of a ranch, afore, soz I needed to learn a hell of a lot in a very short time. I talked to Jake about it, and we decided the best way to handle the situation was for me to follow him around as he did his daily work. The more time I spent with Jake, the more I knew that I didn't know a damned thing about ranchin'. I told Jake that it was a damned good thing that we had him to run the place, because it would sure as hell go to rack and ruin ifen it had to depend...
September 1, 1987, Chicago, Illinois “I heard that you have some kind of plan to help Ed,” I said to Connie. “There’s no plan,” she replied. “A witness who saw the shopkeeper alive after Ed left came forward.” That sounded convenient, and I wondered if the witness was real or someone that Anthony had put forward to solve the problem. Certainly, the videotape was real, because I couldn’t imagine how Anthony could have faked that, but the witness? Who knew? “So is he being released? Or is...
August 17, 1997, Chicago, Illinois We finished lunch and Marissa and the younger kids went to play, but Natalie sat with the adults to talk, with coffee, tea, or soft drinks. The Sarcus were very comfortable, but the Heaths were still struggling. But, vitally, they hadn’t left and hadn’t insisted Natalie leave the group. “Can you explain how you developed this attitude and approach?” Chris asked. I nodded, “It started when I was just a bit younger than Natalie. My mom was a total control...
July 1979 — Falkenberg, Sweden On Friday, when I got back from my run, Pam was in her bra and panties again. I whistled at her, she giggled, then finished dressing. I showered, and we went to breakfast and finished up our last day. Once class was done, we were pretty much free. On Saturday, we’d have several optional activities and then on Sunday we’d head back to our host families. After dinner on Friday, I took Pam’s hand and we walked towards the river. It was quiet and peaceful, and...