The Vassal GroupChapter 6
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Jeanette had been taken to the promised land of upstairs. For the last five weeks, she had endured humiliating and degrading punishment in the cells, while Sandman, the computer worked to erase her memory of anything before her arrival here, and to program her to serve the Master. Master would show he or she was pleased by giving Jeanette love in the form of ejaculations or other gifts. Jeanette stood in the room, Master Devon having departed only a minute or two before, and stared at the bed, she had been on a futon downstairs as long as she could remember.
Her roommate L stood next to her smiling, her blond hair about four inches long, and other than her black nylon collar, completely nude.
Before they could begin to talk, or discuss anything a voice interrupted Jeanette's consideration of the luxuries she had here.
"Slave J." A mans voice said behind her.
Jeanette whipped her head around, and it was a man, dressed in clothing, which meant he wasn't a slave. Jeanette gasped and dropped to the kneeling position. She lowered her head and prayed she had moved quickly enough to satisfy him.
"Slave J, come with me, I'm taking you to your next class." The man said simply.
Jeanette stood and moved to him, and followed the man down a hallway, turning twice, he opened a door and gestured her through.
Jeanette entered and waited for him to strap her to a chair. That was all that had ever happened when she entered doors before today.
"Paul, I see you have her here on time. Excellent." A woman's voice said. "I'll take it from here, and return her when we're done. She's my last today."
Jeanette hesitated. Was this woman a Master? Paul left and closed the door behind him. Jeanette was trembling in fear, afraid of making a mistake, and being sent downstairs again
"What's wrong Slave J?" The woman asked.
Jeanette looked around like a cornered animal and said. "Master, or I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm supposed to do."
"I am Mistress Carla, and I am the equivalent of a Master, that means I'm the same as any of the masters to you." She said calmly.
"Mistress, Yes Mistress." Jeanette said and immediately knelt before Mistress Carla.
"Among other things, I'm going to teach you some ballet." Mistress Carla said.
Jeanette frowned. She remembered something about ballet. Sometime a very long time ago, long before, she had wanted to be a ballerina. This was something she barely remembered
Jeanette spent the next two hours learning basic positions by the lash of a whip. She would be shown a pose, and then corrections were made by the snap of a riding crop. Jeanette had tears in her eyes from the sting of the lash, and tried very hard to please Mistress Carla. Jeanette knelt and opened her mouth in a pose Carla had dictated Jeanette learned that moving smoothly from one position to another, quickly but with grace, were expected. She did so time and time again to the direction of Mistress Carla.
After Carla had her strike another pose, Jeanette waited for the lash and was surprised to find it didn't land.
"Better Slave J, much better. You'll do fine in this course. Come with me, I'll return you to the room now." Mistress Carla said.
"Yes Mistress, um, Mistress?" Jeanette said.
"Yes Slave J?"
"Mistress, am I allowed to ask a question?"
"Yes, first ask permission to speak, then if you are granted the permission, then ask your question." Mistress Carla said. This re-enforced the training that Jeanette had received downstairs. It would be as if you had a child who had been taught the alphabet, and now you were teaching it to read.
"Mistress, may I speak?" Jeanette said.
"Yes Slave J."
"Mistress I have two questions, first am I permitted to thank you?" Jeanette asked.
"Yes, it's encouraged to be grateful towards your Masters." Carla said. "Second question?" Again Carla re-enforced the training received downstairs. Receive Master's gift, and be grateful for masters gift.
"Mistress, where am I supposed to ... Um go?" Jeanette asked.
"Ah the bathroom. Yes, that is an excellent question. As far as I know you aren't restricted right now, so come with me." Mistress Carla said.
Jeanette followed the Mistress and was shown a door. "This is a slave bathroom. You'll find that both men and women use it, quickly. Your room is two doors down that way on the left. Slave L may be in there." Mistress Carla said. "Use the bathroom, and I'll trust you to return to your room quickly without my supervision."
Jeanette nodded and said "Yes Mistress." She hadn't been trusted to do anything. While this wasn't a difficult task, using the bathroom and then dashing to her room some fifty feet away, it was a first for her. For as long as she could remember, she had been using a bucket. Squatting over it and feeling diminished because of that.
Jeanette swallowed and quickly entered the bathroom with a mixed feeling of pride and joy. Jeanette found it empty and quickly went to one of the five toilets. She was not surprised to find it had no walls around it for privacy. No screening for a slave. Jeanette turned and sat down and emptied her bladder. There was a roll of toilet paper here, a luxury she hadn't had in a very long time. Tears came to her eyes as she enjoyed the luxury of wiping herself after using the toilet.
Flushing the toilet Jeanette washed her hands with soap, in warm water. Jeanette was ready to cry from the sheer pleasure of this simple task.
Remembering the instructions from Mistress Carla, Jeanette hurried to her room and turned into it. Slave L wasn't there, and Jeanette wasn't sure it was her room after all. The first room she passed looked exactly the same, two small beds, nothing else.
Jeanette backed out and looked at the wall to see if some mark was there. Jeanette supposed there must be a number or something to remember. On the wall was a hand-lettered card held in a small frame. It said Slave L and the second card said Slave J. Jeanette almost wept seeing her name on a room with so much luxury just down the hall from the civilized articles like a toilet and toilet paper. She went and sat on her bed, and waited for L to come for her.
She didn't have to wait long, L entered a few minutes later. "J, great, have I missed first meal?" L said on entering.
Jeanette shrugged and said. "I don't know, I haven't eaten."
L sat on her bed and asked. "What class did you have?"
"Ballet, are we allowed to talk about it?" Jeanette asked afraid.
"Yes, we can. OK, do you need the bathroom? I remember the misery of the cells downstairs It's awful, I hated it worse when they sent me back down as punishment" L said.
"You went back down?" Jeanette asked afraid. This seemed to confirm the threats that existed, if you misbehave, you are sent back to the cells.
L sat next to Jeanette and said. "Yeah, twice. The last time they didn't feed me for so long I almost couldn't get up off the mat when they came in. I was helped because I was struggling to obey. If you are trying to obey, they give you a little slack. Always try your hardest, it's so much better when you do."
"What did you do to get sent back down?" Jeanette said terrified of the thought.
"I didn't accept masters gift of love." L said. "I accept it gratefully now and always will." L had a tear in her eye and wiped it away. "I'm afraid if I go back down again, I thought I would die down there. Master was displeased with me."
Jeanette swallowed hard. She was programmed that her first duty, her first desire, was to please Master. The idea of displeasing Master was horrible. The very idea was absolutely horrifying. She stared at L, and wondered what L had done to displease Master. This was a frightening thought, and one that terrified her.
A voice came from the hallway interrupting her thoughts. "Slaves: move into the hall and line up."
Slave L was moving and Jeanette followed. Arriving in the hallway she saw perhaps a dozen people lined up and waiting. Jeanette followed L and waited in line. Waiting was something she had gotten good at. Jeanette noticed some of the slaves were indeed men. Three of them were lined up ahead of her. They wore collars and were otherwise nude, just as she and L were.
The one difference that Jeanette had noticed was hair. Jeanette had body hair, a lot of body hair. She hadn't shaved, or been shaved in at least a month. She not only had her normal public hair, but hair in her armpits, and her legs were hairy enough that it might be suspected that she was wearing pants. No one else appeared to have any hair, and none of them paid any attention to hers. Jeanette wondered about this, and resolved to question L. As she opened her mouth, Jeanette noticed something else. No one in line was speaking. Jeanette had already noticed that L had more hair on her head than Jeanette felt she had. In fact, everyone had different lengths of hair. Some were much longer; others were not much longer than Jeanette's own hair.
"Slaves, follow me." The voice called. Jeanette couldn't see him She followed L, who was following another and so on. The line wound it's way around several turns and then stopped. Jeanette waited, and then the line eased forward slowly. Every few seconds, the line would inch forward. Soon Jeanette found herself following L through a doorway where a line was set up cafeteria style
Taking a tray from the pile, Jeanette followed L though the line taking one of everything at the end of the line were steel spoons. Jeanette stood and looked at it for a while, shuddering at the surreal experience of all the food and now silverware
"It's OK J, really. I know it's hard, we've all been through it." L said from behind her.
Jeanette turned and had tears in her eyes and a smile on her face. "I never thought I'd see this, any of this, again." That was completely true, she had dreamed of the day when she would have food, and toilet privileges, and someone to be with. Just to be with someone, to have someone near to fill the empty hours with. While she was alone in the cells, and hungry, she had dreamed of having someone inside the cell with her, sharing the misery. She seemed to instinctively know that if someone else was there in the cell with her, the misery wouldn't be so bad.
L nodded understanding.
Jeanette took the silverware and a bottle of water. Jeanette followed L feeling very self-conscious at being nude in front of so many people, but they were nude too. Jeanette was so hungry she was really trying to focus on the food.
She stopped when she saw that there were tables, picnic type of tables, and everyone was just sitting around eating. While they were eating quickly, they were just sitting and eating. She followed L and sat next to her, scared. Jeanette had been in solitary for a long time, her only visitor was Devon, and now she was surrounded by people Terror gripped her as she sat and just looked around. She had dreamed of having one person there with her, not so many. Everywhere she looked, there was someone busily eating. She felt claustrophobic, although she didn't put a name to her fear.
"J, it's OK, we're all like that when we get out. The crowd, it takes some getting used to. V helped me get over it, I'll help you, and you'll help the next one." L said gently next to her.
Jeanette turned to her and L saw tears in her eyes. "I can't do this."
L saw the terror in Jeanette and was suddenly afraid. J can't be allowed to go catatonic the result of that was death. Everyone knew it. J was about to have a reaction that would about guarantee that she would get sent back down there. "J you have to do this, it's the only place we're allowed to eat. Slaves eat here." L said slowly.
Jeanette kept looking around, and then she did something she hadn't done in a long time, she moved her arms to cover herself.
L reached out to J and held her. L grasped J's chin and turned her head to stare into Jeanette's eyes. "Look at me J, look at me. Listen to me No one is thinking about you, no one. We're all here together, in this together. We're all slaves, we're your friends, but you have to stay here with us too. J, you can't leave yet. Focus on me, look at me, don't look at anything or anyone else."
Jeanette started to calm down, staring into L's eyes. Nodding slightly she slowed her breathing.
"Eat your food, do it right now, don't think about anything, keep your mind clear, you're here to eat, do it now." L said.
"L has a lot of potential, possibly as a trainer." Devon said in the control room several floors up.
"I agree, J's ready to panic, and L focused her. Excellent. L just saved her from another week downstairs." Carl said.
Jeanette focused on the food, and every time she started to look up, or around, L would call her attention back to the food. Jeanette ate quickly and then followed L back to the room
In the room Jeanette huddled on the bed, L sat next to her. "J it's OK, really. We don't have doors because we're always on display anyway. Door's are to keep us in, and we've got no where to go."
Jeanette tried to remember about before; she made a point of this exercise every day. She couldn't remember her name again. Each time it was harder to remember she had a name, and what it was.
"J, what are you thinking?" L asked watching J obviously strain for something inside.
"What's your name?" Jeanette asked.
"What? I'm Slave L, remember?" L asked confused and worried.
"No, your name, from before." Jeanette asked. "I know I have one, I can't remember it."
"Before doesn't matter J, only now matters. I don't have a name from before, only my name now. I'm Slave L."
"Jeanette, I'm Jeanette."
"No, you're not." L said softly knowing what was going to happen next.
In less than five minutes Devon was at the door. "Slave's what are your names"
L who was kneeling on the ground already said. "Slave L Master."
Jeanette was still sitting on the bed and glaring at Devon for trying to take this away from her. "Jeanette." Knowing it was stupid, knowing this resistance was wrong. Knowing she would be punished didn't matter. She had to remember she was Jeanette. If she ever forgot it for good, she wouldn't ever have it again. She didn't want to lose it forever. She wasn't sure why this was important, Master said it wasn't but she knew it was important. She knew it was important to hold on to her name. She had no memories of before, only of what her duty was, her purpose was, but she had a name, and it was Jeanette. That was important.
L bit her lip and felt the pain that Jeanette was about to endure. Devon moved forward and Jeanette stood up and turned around for him, placing her hands behind her. She was going to be brave this time, resist and be brave and hold up and always remember she was Jeanette.
Devon clapped the handcuffs on Jeanette, and said to Slave L. "Report to Master Carl in training room five. Do so now."
L nodded her head and said "Yes Master." Then rose and hurried from the room towards training room five.
Jeanette held her head up; unafraid, uncaring about what was going to happen to her. She was Jeanette, and they couldn't take that from her.
After twelve hours of shivering in the cold cell, she wondered if her defiance was worth it. After she had been in there for 24 hours, huddled in the middle of the floor where it was marginally warmer, perhaps by a whole degree, she was broken again. Still the room didn't warm noticeably, although it had edged up a degree or so without her noticing.
Jeanette huddled and shivered, the room didn't have a futon mat this time, and she was defenseless against the cold. Her teeth chattered and she cried out to the camera. "I'm sorry Master Devon, I'm sorry. Please forgive me." She had been shivering for 24 hours in the middle of the cell, and was completely miserable.
After another twelve hours had passed, he room finally warmed slightly, and then a little more. As it warmed to normal room temperature, Jeanette fell asleep, another layer of her personality having been stripped away She had her name, but now she was more afraid of the cells, and misbehaving then ever before. Exhaustion carried her through twelve hours of sleep, and then another twenty-four would pass before Devon would appear, and bring her food.
Jeanette struggled to kneel at his feet, weeping openly. She was miserable, lonely, and utterly ashamed at having been bad in the promised land of upstairs. Her mind was in turmoil. Her mind had berated her more soundly than anything other than Sandman could. Her programming was now affecting her perceptions of life, of right, and wrong. It was wrong to displease master that was painfully obvious now.
"Slave J, I thought you were going to succeed at first, you managed to get through the meal. Then you struggled to remember something you had given up." Devon said sounding quite upset about this.
Jeanette sobbed. "Master, I'm sorry. Please, I'm so sorry Master"
"What is your name?" Devon asked.
"Slave J Master."
"Do you have any other name?" Devon asked.
"No Master." Jeanette shook her head vigorously. She would keep her name secret from everyone forever. It was important that she remember her name, and it was just as important that she never tell them again. Slave J trembled and looked longingly at the tray, knowing if she was good, she would be fed. If she pleased Master, she would eat, and drink, and be warm.
Devon gave her the food, and made mental notes about how to set the next session in the chair He needed to finish wiping her existence. Every time he thought he had it, she would dig deeper and find some kernel of herself before. Her resiliency was impressive. If he hadn't been dedicated to erasing that personality, he would have been tempted to reinforce it and make it incredibly strong.
Jeanette ate and drank the water happy to be kneeling at his feet and doing this. It felt good somehow. It was different, sure, but it was right somehow.
Two weeks later, after long and intense daily sessions with the chair, with the message altered to reflect her defiance. Jeanette was gone again. She was simply J, a slave.
She knelt at the feet of Devon and waited his command. Her one purpose in life was to serve the master, and do so with as much skill as she could manage. Only by completing the tasks given her by the master would she be rewarded with his love. Her single purpose was to please the master.
She had been in the cells almost continuously for two months. Her mind, body, and soul had been attacked systematically until her personality had simply evaporated. There was one kernel of herself hidden deep inside her mind. Only one, was missed by Devon, that one kernel, like the acorn that brings forth the mighty Oak was enough, if anything ever caused it to grow.
Slave J accompanied Master Devon upstairs, again manacled, and at the end of a leash. Slave J was led to a room with Slave L, who wasn't in at this time. Jeanette sat and waited on the bed, someone would come and tell her what to do when it was time.
Jeanette had no watch; no clocks were in these rooms. Time was measured in the here, and now, nothing about tomorrow or even the next hour mattered. Jeanette had no worries, she need only follow her instructions and please the master. That would bring her joy, to see the master pleased.
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