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SUNDAY, MAY 26, 1991

My Sundays are my own. Well, my Sundays are supposed to be my own.

Oh well.

My family actually skipped church. Mom and dad were hosting their annual Memorial Day party the next day. I had to do some cleaning up around the yard, and set up the volleyball poles and net for the party.

At lunch, I got to catch some of the Indy 500 on TV. I missed the end of the race, but Rick Mears won his third Borg-Warner Trophy.

Dad had plans for me in the afternoon. The weather had been nice this spring, so our first cutting of alfalfa was ready for baling.

Dad drove the cabless 2510 John Deere, pulling an old-fashioned baler, with a rack trundling along behind it.

I donned heavy leather gloves and rode the rack, stacking three loads of heavy bales before we called it an afternoon. Dad would use the stacker on the rest of the wind rows of hay next week.

Beast had reminded me Saturday night that he would be busy with his sister’s graduation party, so he couldn’t take me to Deedee’s older brother’s party.

“Dad?”

“Yeah, Jake?”

“Can I ask a favor?” I said shyly.

“What’s that?”

“Can you or mom drive me to a graduation party for about a half hour? Deedee’s brother is graduating, and she invited me,” I asked sheepishly.

“Well, you did a nice job with this hay,” he nodded, looking at the healthy stack in the center of the open barn. “I’ll take you.”

“Thanks,” I smiled.

Dad put the tractor and the baler away while I headed to the house for a much-needed shower.

I was amazed again at how much of a farm field I could carry with me into the shower. The floor of it was almost black with dirt and tiny alfalfa leaves.

I dried off and got dressed. Mom wanted me to eat at home with the family, so I hung out for spaghetti. As usual, I knocked out any chance at leftovers with my voracious teenage appetite. I’d worked my butt off. I was hungry.

“Your dad tells me you want to be dropped off at a graduation party?”

“Yeah,” I shrugged. “Deedee’s brother. It’s at their house.”

“Ah,” she said, stabbing a homemade meatball. “Things going well with her?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” I said flatly, not wanting to get into it.

“Will you see each other much this summer?”

“Well, she’s a lifeguard at the pool, so, I guess,” I hedged. “Plus she’ll be at all the baseball games.”

“Your season is about half over,” mom reminded me.

“Yeah,” I said absently.

“And how is Shelby doing?” she looked at me pointedly.

“Fine. I guess,” I said in a little irritation, not wanting to get into that either.

“Well, just remember, you can always talk to us,” she smiled.

“Doesn’t seem like I could avoid it if I wanted to,” I grumped.

“Now, Jake,” dad admonished lightly, “Your mother is just interested. That’s all.”

More like nosey, but I knew better than to let the thought form words. I got up to end the meal.

“I know.”

“Well, which of us did you want to drive you there?” mom brightened.

“It doesn’t really matter,” I shrugged, putting my plate and fork in the dishwasher.

“Than I’ll take you,” mom smiled.

At about 6:45, mom and I piled into her Thunderbird, before she had a change of heart.

“Why don’t you drive, Jake. Josh isn’t coming along.”

We switched spots and she handed me the keys to her silver baby.

I started it up, and it was awfully quiet compared to my girl. It only had a V-6, but it was sleek and modern, with all the bells of whistles of the time. Plus it looked pretty sexy.

I started off toward the town about eight miles east of us, where Deandra lived.

“Sorry to pry at the dinner table about things,” mom apologized. “It’s just that we want to know how you’re doing.”

“I know,” said quickly.

“You had barely told us you were dating Melody, and things were already very serious.”

I just nodded, not wanting to repeat myself.

“I’m sorry your cousin brought her sister over. That wasn’t very thoughtful of her,” mom shook her head.

“Um, it’s OK,” I gave her a quick look, struggling to remember what the counselor had told me in January. What were the words she used? Something about a better place.

“I’m, um, in a better place. It just shocked me at first.”

She nodded in understanding.

“Still, she should have assumed that would be awkward.”

“She might have and then did it anyway,” I said slyly. “She might not be the goody-two-shoes girl you think she is.”

“She’s a sweetheart, Jacob,” mom said sternly.

I hazarded another wide-eyed look at mom, taking my eyes off the road.

“I don’t mean to be rude, mom, but she has you all fooled. She’s not evil, but she ain’t no angel either.”

“She’s had it very hard, Jacob,” mom said in a quiet tone. “Imagine if you’d lost your father when you were three.”

She had a good point. I’m sure that it would have changed me fundamentally. Both of my parents were part of the solid foundation of who I was as a young adult, and who I would be when I grew up. But still, I don’t think I’d have become quite the manipulative schemer Natalie was.

“I don’t like to imagine that,” I said a little defensively.

“I’m sorry, of course not, dear.”

I grabbed a parking spot on a busy street, double checking my invitation. I’d never been to her house before. This was it. The Vant Hull’s had a nice ranch-style home.

Mom grabbed a paperback book out of her purse.

“I’ll just wait here.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, go ahead,” mom smiled.

A good number of people were inside the Vant Hull home, with some spillage into the garage. Fortunately, Deedee was in there waiting for me as I walked up.

She absolutely sparkled, grinning ear-to-ear, all of her red hair down around her shoulders. Her dimples were in full effect, and her deep blue eyes had a twinkle as she hurried over to me.

“You came!” she gushed, giving me a chaste hug.

“Well, when a pretty girl finally invites me to her house,” I gave her a lopsided grin.

She sucked in her breath nervously. “OK, you have to meet everyone.”

And meet everyone I did. Her older brother Brent was there for a manly handshake. I congratulated him on graduating. The big fella would be headed to a college about an hour away to play football. He’d be an offensive lineman.

Aunts, uncles, grandparents and Jim and Debbie Vant Hull made me feel fairly welcome, without too much embarrassment. Jim Vant Hull was a towering, big bald man. I could see where his son’s size came from. Debbie Vant Hull was a shorter, buxom redhead like her daughter, with the thicker waist and backside that comes with middle age. It appeared the only thing Deedee inherited from her father was her cheek dimples and bright eyes.

I was, of course, asked multiple times if I had eaten. It’s a Midwest thing. I politely had some cake and ice cream to bring a halt to that. Deedee fairly twirled me around the party, showing me off after the snack.

Finally, I was allowed a moment free as Deedee was called off to get something from a freezer in the basement. I found a couple of Brent’s friends, including Clutch gathered in the garage.

“Jake Parker, right?” Clutch smiled with a low-five. “Quite the show at the party last night.”

I hadn’t really thought about what consequences that particular scene Morgan had caused might have later.

I shrugged. “Girl drama.”

“You’ll have that when you’re mixed up with too many of them all at once, Parker,” Clutch laughed.

“Very true,” I nodded in agreement.

“What are you boys laughing about?” Deedee quizzed from behind me.

“Boy talk,” I grinned back at her.

“Very funny,” she cocked her head to the side. “Come with me,” she demanded, putting my hand in hers.

She led me through the house, taking me to her bedroom, but very obviously leaving the door open.

She sat down at the foot of her bead with a soft bounce, and patted a spot next to her.

I grinned and sat down beside her, letting her take charge of things.

“So, last night was fun, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess, I had a good time other than Morgan goin’ all psycho and Shelby drinking too much,” I chuckled.

“Yeah,” she chuckled lightly. “About that...”

“What? What part?” I asked.

“The part with Marcy Macke,” she looked down shyly.

That old sense of dread came over me.

“I don’t know what to say. I don’t have an excuse or an explanation for that,” I shrugged. “But I certainly didn’t cheat. She stuck her neck out to defend me on that.”

“No, it’s not like that,” she looked back at me. “I just, I guess I knew things about you and Melody, but I didn’t know THAT.”

“Well, I didn’t think anyone else knew THAT,” I said with a faraway look. “And I don’t know how in the world Morgan found out. I hope you’re not upset, but I couldn’t tell you that. That was just for the three of us.”

“No, not upset at all. Just worried,” she said, looking down again.

“Worried about what?”

“That,” she emphasised. “I hope you don’t expect that kind of thing from me.”

“OH! No. Gosh, no,” I held my hands up defensively. “I don’t expect that kind of thing. I didn’t expect it when it happened. I was, um, I was sort of blindsided by that, so to speak.”

“How did all that work?”

I wasn’t quite sure how to answer that.

“Um ... Let’s see,” I hedged, thinking back. “We were using Marcy’s bedroom for sex at the time. We had sex a lot in the summer, but it all dried up when school started. We didn’t have anywhere to get together anymore. Thankfully Marcy offered her room to us.”

Deedee tilted her head, taking in every detail.

“We’d been there a few times when, um, Mel had me put a blindfold on.”

“A blindfold?” Deedee grinned. “Kinky.”

I blushed a little at that. “That’s nothing,” I said flatly, finding my courage again.

Deedee blushed a deeper red than I did.

“Where was I? Oh yeah, blindfold. So, she put that on me, and um, before I knew it, I was actually with Marcy, but Melody was right there.”

Deedee took that all in, mulling it over.

“So how did that work then?”

“How did what work?” I asked.

Freckles on top of freckles, she got even redder.

“How did all that work, you know, physically?” she whispered shyly.

“Oh!” I lowered my tone. “You want details?” I asked skeptically.

She nodded with a enthusiastic grin.

“Oh, well details,” I said softly, thinking back once again. “OK, Mel and I got started with oral before the blindfold. Then she put that on me, I complained and I didn’t want to, of course.”

Deedee giggled at that.

“Then she opened the door to the bedroom, I could tell. I wasn’t sure why at the time, but it was to let Marcy in. I should have known, because I heard clothes coming off. And I should have guessed when she was putting a condom on me.”

“Why?” Deedee asked quietly.

“Oh,” I blushed, wondering if I was revealing too much. “Melody was on The Pill at the time.”

Deedee’s eyes got big. “Oh, OK,” she nodded.

“Anyway, she was on top, and Mel was right next to her, so I couldn’t tell from her voice, but I could tell when I was inside her.”

“Wow,” Deedee whispered absently.

“So then I knew something was up, and I reached out next to the bed and felt Mel standing there, so I knew instantly someone else was on me. I pulled the blindfold off, and found out what was going on.”

“So then you stopped?” she quizzed.

“At first,” I drawled, with a guilty grin.

“So then what happened,” she husked, seemingly uncomfortable in her seated position.

“Well, once I calmed down and everyone was OK with it, I figured I was already balls deep in Marcy, so we got back to it.”

“We?” she asked softly again.

“You really do want details, don’t you?” I teased, tickling her lightly.

She giggled in a deep red blush. “Yes, I guess. Tell me how it worked.”

“OK, um, so Marcy and I started up again, and Mel climbed onto my face so I could eat her out.”

I left it at that for a moment.

“That’s it?” Deedee tilted her head.

“Pretty much,” I shrugged. “After Marcy and I finished, Mel and I had another long round. Marcy watched us from her desk, but she didn’t join us after that. It ended up being a one-time thing.”

“And that was it?”

“And that was it?” I repeated in exasperation. “That’s pretty momentous for a 14-year-old guy.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” she blushed. “I was just wondering.”

“What were you wondering?” I teased.

“Did the girls, you know? Did they do anything?” Deedee was bright red from neck to forehead.

“Nope,” I said flatly. “I was mildly disappointed, but, you know? Two girls at once and all.”

“OK,” she brightened, seemingly free of the spell of my story.

“We should get back to the party,” she offered.

“And that was it?” I teased again. “That was all you wanted to know?”

“Yeah,” she said softly, giving me a big smile as she stood up.

“Wait, I have something I want to say,” I said softly.

She sat back down nervously.

“Oh, it’s nothing bad,” I reassured her. “I just want to thank you.”

“Thank me?”

“Yeah,” I looked into her eyes. “Thank you for being so understanding. About everything last night.”

She smiled at me tenderly.

“That was all a lot for a girlfriend to take at once,” I admitted, scratching my head nervously. “And you were very understanding about Shelby too.”

Her smile dropped a little at that, but she regained it.

“She’s always been your best friend, since like Kindergarten, so I don’t see her as a threat,” she shrugged.

“You don’t have any threats,” I leaned toward her.

“Hah!” she chuckled. “You have no idea.” She shook her head at me.

“What? You are the only girl for me.” I nodded.

“Oh, I believe you, for now,” she smiled. “But I watch other girls around you, and I know things they’ve said about you before we were dating. More than one girl would love to take you away from me.”

“That might be. But I hope you know I do really like you,” I said in earnest.

“I know,” she affirmed, tapping me on the chin dimple the way only she did. “It’s going to be a lot of work to hold onto you.”

“No it isn’t,” I shook my head. “I have no plans to be with anyone other than you for a long time.”

“I believe you,” she repeated. “But we’re just 15, or you’re almost 15. Things don’t always last forever.”

Her talk of almost impending breakup was killing the mood for me. It made me feel a little down instantly.

“But we do have things to look forward to,” she grinned, sensing my morose mood.

“What’s that?”

“December 6th,” she teased with a smile.

“Your birthday?” I questioned.

Now it was her turn to tickle and tease me.

“I’m probably not going to make you wait that long,” she leaned in, breathing into my ear. “But that’s when I go on The Pill.”

“Oh!” I half-whispered in sudden understanding. “Very nice,” I grinned.

“So there,” she wiped her hands together and stood up sharply. “Something to look forward to.”

Something indeed to look forward to.

She led me out of her bedroom and back to the garage. I checked the time and let Deedee know I needed to get going.

I bid her family goodbye and she gave me a chaste hug in the driveway.

I hopped back into the T-bird, ready to head home.

“You look like you had a good time?” Mom looked up from her book.

“I did,” I affirmed without offering much else.

“Well, you have a big grin to show for it.”

“I guess,” I shrugged.

“She IS cute, I guess,” mom said with a hint of dismissal.

“I wouldn’t be dating her if she wasn’t, mom,” I gave her a look, as I turned for home.

“OK, just know that someone else isn’t going to wait forever for you.”

I didn’t really want to get into this, but mom was getting under my skin a little, regardless of her offer to let me drive to Deedee’s.

“Look, mom, I know you want to play cheerleader because the families are close, but Shelby and I are close friends, and we might not ever be anything else,” I put a little starch in my speech. “You might have to get used to that idea.”

“Jacob, I would never interfere,” she practically apologized.

“I like Deedee,” I said defensively. “She’s a pretty darn good girlfriend, and she’s totally OK with my friendship with Shelby. It hasn’t always been that way, you know.”

“I know,” mom backed down a little, getting quiet for a moment or two.

“You know we just want you to be happy, and we’d prefer things not get too serious too fast.”

“I’m pretty happy these days, mom,” I smiled, taking my eyes off the gravel road for a moment. “Sports are going well, I have good friends, a nice girlfriend and you and dad don’t hassle me too much.”

I stuck my tongue out at her and got a real laugh from mom.

“Well, that’s good to hear, Jacob.” Mom warmed with a chuckle. “We don’t always know what you’re thinking, so that’s good to hear.”

I drove home the rest of the way in relative silence. Mom must have heard what she wanted to hear.

When we got back home, I wanted to make a phone call. Even though I knew I’d see her tomorrow, I figured I better check in on Shelby.

I dialed the phone and dragged the long cord into my room, shutting the door and sitting down on the floor in front of it.

Laura Ray picked up the phone, as usual.

“Hi, Jake. How are you? Shelby hasn’t been feeling the best today. Something she ate, she thinks.”

I stifled a giggle. “Oh, that’s too bad. Is she not up for a phone call?”

“Since it’s you, let me go ask her,” she said warmly.

A good minute went by before I heard a thing.

“OK, Jake, she’s coming to get the phone. We’ll see you at the barbecue tomorrow.”

“See you there, Laura.”

“Hello?” Shelby murmured into the phone.

“Hey!” I put a little fake enthusiasm into the phone receiver. “How ya’ doin’?”

“Quiet!” she whispered with a hiss. “I blame you for this!”

“You blame ME for what?”

“That I feel like I got run over by a stampede,” she groaned into the phone.

“No, no, no,” I scolded her. “Not my fault at all. Could have been much worse if not for me.”

“Yeah, I know, you’re probably right,” she agreed quietly. “But I was trying to keep up with you at first, and lost track of you.”

“Gotta learn to hold your liquor, I guess,” I teased.

“Yeah, that might be the last time I try that at all,” she said in defeat.

“Ha!” I crowed. “I’ll sneak you one of grandpa’s Old Swill’s tomorrow at the party. You’ll be right back up on the horse.”

I heard a slight gag on the other line.

“Shut up about beer,” she whispered. “It’s been a bad day.”

Oh this was too rich. I actually felt bad for my best friend, but she had sewn this crop all on her own. It was time for her harvest of sorrow.

“Well, drink a lot of water and be ready for tomorrow. I need you around to avoid all the little kids, and whoever Natalie might bring to annoy me.”

“I don’t even want to think about your parent’s party,” she said sadly.

“Come on. I’d miss you.”

“Even after everything I did last night?” I was a little surprised she remembered. Then again, how much did she remember?

“So you remember everything?”

“Oh God, I hope so. I hope I didn’t do worse things than I remember,” she said softly.

“You didn’t do anything a million other people haven’t done the first time they got drunk,” I admitted.

“I’m sorry,” she said weakly.

“I’m sorry too,” I offered.

“For what?”

“You were right about Morgan. I didn’t back you up enough there. I got really quiet for some reason.

“It’s OK, “She reasoned. “I probably overreacted a little. Or a lot,” she admitted. “She’s a lot bigger than me.”

“You have her scared, I’m pretty sure. I doubt she’ll try you again,” I replied. “But we can hash it all out tomorrow. I just wanted to check on you tonight.”

“OK,” she said in resignation. “I’m going to get hydrated and hopefully see you tomorrow. We’ll talk more then.”

“Good night, Shelbs.”

Good night, Jakey.”

MONDAY, MAY 27, 1991 MEMORIAL DAY

Twelve pounds of frozen hamburger had been set out from the freezer. A big box of all-beef hot dogs was thawing next to them in the fridge. Dad had to take a shelf out to make it fit. The counter was covered in buns of both kinds, and mom had purchased a three-gallon bucket of potato salad from a deli. Of course she had to add her own personal touch, and added more eggs.

This was the real deal.

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MONDAY, AUGUST 19, 1991 “Here we go around, ‘round, ‘round She givin’ me the run around, ‘round, ‘round, ‘round” I was up early with Van Halen, but shut my clock radio off immediately. Today would be the first day of football practice. I’d been doing this since 7th grade, but something felt very different for my sophomore year. I was taller, leaner and looking pretty ripped. I hadn’t done quite as much farm work that summer, but I was in the gym or at the running track four days a week,...

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“The fuck was that this morning in the hallway?” Mike boomed, setting his lunch tray down to my right. “QUIET!” I seethed. “Nothing. I don’t know.” “THAT was not nothing,” Shelby added quickly from my left. I dropped my spoon back into my chili and closed my eyes. Oh yes, chili, maybe my favorite school lunch. And it seemed to taste better than usual today. Then again, maybe everything had started to taste better lately. “Look, I’m as confused as anyone. I’ve known Alexis since what,...

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We walked back inside and I quickly discovered my Sunday wasn’t over. Beast was on the line. “Parker, you wanna shoot hoops?” “Yeah, sounds good. We need a fourth?” “I supposed, who you got in mind?” “Mikey?” “Yeah, I guess I can kick his ass as easy as yours,” Beast chuckled. “I’ll call him.” “I’ll pick you both up and we’ll go to Tree’s.” “Later.” I asked mom and dad if I could go shoot hoops for the afternoon. “Be home for supper.” I could hardly think about supper. I was still...

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SUNDAY, JUNE 30, 1991 I leaned forward with my head in my hands, rubbing my temples. Shelby pulled some of the blanket around her shivering form. It was a warm day, but a body soaked in sweat would get chilly in the breeze. Her horses, Destiny and Doc, munched grass lazily, paying us little heed. “Why not?” I asked the prairie scene in front of me, not wanting to look her in the eye. Shelby sighed and put her hand on my shoulder. “I might have done a bad thing today,” she sighed. “I did...

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MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 1991 “What’s on your mind,” I asked as I closed my car door carefully. Jen seemed to stiffen and forced herself to turn towards me in her seat so that she couldn’t avoid looking at me. “What I said about the dance wasn’t entirely true.” “So you DO want to go to the dance?” I said with a lopsided grin. “I don’t know,” she said softly. “Let me finish.” “OK,” I replied, letting her continue. “I have gone to a dance before. It was, it was horrible.” “Go on,” I...

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