Jokes And GigglesChapter 155 free porn video

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Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she's pregnant. She is furious! Here she is about to run for President and this has happened to her.

She calls Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: "How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you???!!! I can't believe this! I just foundout I am five weeks pregnant and it's all your fault!!! YOUR FAULT!!! Well, what have you got to say???"

There is nothing but dead silence on the end of the phone.

She screams again, "DID YOU HEAR ME???!!!"

Finally, she hears Bill's very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says,

"Who is this?"

A very cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away. She complained and criticized everything and everyone throughout the process.

When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked her what she had stolen from the store.

The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches."

The judge then asked why she had done it.

She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store."

The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.

She replied in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care about that?"

The judge answered patiently, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach."

As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak.

The judge said, "Yes sir, what do you have to add?"

The husband said meekly, "Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas."

Square Testicles

An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'.

The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'

The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.'

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'

'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.'

'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked

the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Ireland.'

This one is compliments of Earl

If punishment were to fit the crime;

Bigamy must be the worst crime a man can commit,

as it has the worst punishment:

TWO mothers-in-law.

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Andee Poses For A Friend

It had been a long time in coming. Andee wasn’t sure if having to “pay up” for losing a friendly bet with her co-worker was just a passing joke in the hallway, or if he was serious about collecting on it. As a thirty-eight year old mom of two very active boys and career woman, she enjoyed a bit of adventure in her life and this was the second time in a year she had found herself confronted with a sexual complication with her friend. Without question, Andee had been a shameless flirt with Paul,...

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1 year ago
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Becoming Brandee Chapter Seven

Becoming Brandee Chapter Seven Today may be one of the most important days of my new bimbo life. I go for my job interview today. I am so nervous. I so want to get this job. Lisa seems to think I am a shoe in. But I am nervous. I so want this job. It means a lot to me and I think it will mean a lot to Richard and I know it will help continue to rein....reinfer...re...make me more comfortable as a bimbo girl happy in her role.To support me, Lisa came over and we went through my...

3 years ago
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Becoming Brandee Chapter Eleven

Disclaimer: This chapter, like all chapters of the Becoming Brandee series are intended for adult readers only. Reproduction in any form may not be done without permission of the author. Becoming Brandee, Chapter Eleven: Julie and I crawled into bed together spent as Richard retired to his room. However, just before heading up to bed, Benjamin and I shared a private moment at the door before he headed back to his home. He kissed me tenderly and told me that he'd like to see me...

2 years ago
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From Candace to CandyChapter 5

We woke up mid morning the next day. I rang down to the servants house and asked that breakfast be served in about an hour. I hustled Candace into the shower, telling Candy that we couldn't play; I had a big day planned for us. And that of course set off a round of what? and why won't you tell me, and I don't care if it's a surprise, which finally ended with several swats to the ass cheeks and a gesture towards the shower. Point made, game, set, match; for now anyway. I went through...

1 year ago
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Becoming Brandee Chapter Twelve

Disclaimer: Like all chapters of the Brandee series, this one is inteded for adult readers only. Becoming Brandee, Chapter Twelve I am now in my fourth month of my tour of gentleman's clubs and adult bookstores and I am really enjoying myself. Julie came out a few weekends ago and had such a fun time watching me in my glory. She says she is going to finish up her Doctorial work sooner than expected and that we might get some more time together. I would really enjoy that as I...

4 years ago
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Grandpa and Grandma come for a visit and the entire family enjoys an incestuous orgy

“We’re here!” Grandma cried as she and Grandpa came through the front door with their suitcases. “Grandma!” the children shouted as quickly the five of them surrounded their Grandparents. Grandma and Grandpa hugged them all – letting their hands grab the firm young asses of their grandchildren. Grandma took special care to press her massive bosom against their chests feeling her nipples harden as she did. Grandpa’s large pecker had been hard since...

2 years ago
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Chandigarh Ki Bhabhi Ko Bnaya Randi

Mera naam harman hai. Yeh meri pehli story hai indian sex stories pe. Yeh story meri bhabhi k baare me hai. Iss story mein m btaunga k kaise mene apni bhabhi ko apni randi bnaya. Apne baare me btata hoon. Mera lund 7 inch ka hai aur height 6 foot. M chandigarh ka rehne wala hoon. Mujhe ladkiyo ko randiyo ki tarah chodne meh bahut maaza aata hai. Chandigarh ki agar koi ladki, bhabhi ya aunty ko badeh aur motte lund ki talaash hai toh meri email pe msg kre: .Chlo story shuru krte hai. Meri...

3 years ago
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Becoming Brandee Chapter Thirteen

Disclaimer: Like all chapters in the Brandee series, this one is also intended for adults only. And, like all other chapters, no part of this story may be reproduced without permission of the author. Enjoy. Becoming Brandee Chapter Thirteen: I think I was telling you all about my publicity and promotional tour before getting side-tracked by hygiene issues in the last chapter. Let me fill you in on a few of my adventures with some fascinating audience members who've won the "Win...

3 years ago
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Andersonville 23 A Twinkle in her Fathers Eyes

Flashback - 11 months earlier (Author's notes - the intro takes place 'right after' Andersonville 6) There were fifteen men and women crowded into the small conference area. As Colonel Myers surveyed the room, he noticed most of them, the programmers anyway, were about half his age. Barry shook his head; he was getting old. His goal was to make general before he retired, and the Andersonville project had seemed like the best way to increase his chances. The problem was, he had...

3 years ago
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Becoming Brandee Chapter 10

Disclaimer. This chapter, like all chapters of the Becoming Brandee strory, are intended for adult readers only Becoming Brandee Chapter Ten: Now this was totally unexpected. I had initially thought that my wife Julie and I were both to be dates for Richard and suddenly I become very aware that only my wife is Richard's date for the evening. And, once I open the front door, I will be meeting my very own date. "You look divine, Brandee," said my wife encouragingly, "Now make...

3 years ago
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Andee Heats Up Houston Day 3

Andee folded down the top of her suitcase and zipped it shut. In a few hours she would be back in Canada, back with her husband – and after the past couple days – back on her back as she shared her experiences in Houston with the man waiting at home. She looked at Don propped up against the edge of the desk, hands stuffed into his jeans as her thoughts turned to the fun she had enjoyed on this trip. She could see the disappointment in his face as he knew their time together had come to an end....

3 years ago
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Andee Heats Up Houston Day 3

Andee folded down the top of her suitcase and zipped it shut. In a few hours she would be back in Canada, back with her husband – and after the past couple days – back on her back as she shared her experiences in Houston with the man waiting at home. She looked at Don propped up against the edge of the desk, hands stuffed into his jeans as her thoughts turned to the fun she had enjoyed on this trip. She could see the disappointment in his face as he knew their time together had come to an end....

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