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Ronald:

Beatrice nearly sucked all of the oxygen out of the room, gasping, then wailed, "OMIGAAAWD!" and covered her face -- and started bawling.

Alan looked at me and asked, "What happened? Why is Aunt Bea crying?"

"I think she's happy."

"But..."

"You know, Alan, it's a woman thing. I really don't understand, either." I beckoned Beatrice and she ran to me and tried to squeeze me to death, bawling her eyes out. I looked down at Alan. "Do YOU like chow mein?"

"It's okay, I guess."

"You like something better, then."

"Yes. Hot dogs. From the place where they bring them out to your car. I like the ones with the chili stuff on them."

"Okay, maybe we'd better get hot dogs so Aunt Bea can get this whole thing under control," I advised.

"Yay!"

I chuckled. The worst was over -- we'd bonded.

Beatrice took ten minutes to settle down some, then we took her car to the drive-in, because it already had a car seat in it. I drove and Beatrice would have blown me if there hadn't been a five-year-old in the back seat. As it was, she was all over me. We were at the drive-in, waiting on our order when Alan announced, "Okay, I can see that she's happy. I still don't know why she was crying, though." Beatrice was draped over the center console and I had my hand under her blouse mauling a tit.

"Like I said, Alan -- it's a woman thing. They cry when they're sad and they cry when they're happy and it's confusing to us guys."

"Yeah." I watched Alan nod in agreement in the rearview mirror. After a moment, he added, "I hope they hurry. I'm hungry."

Beatrice insisted that we take the food home to eat it -- and since she knew thirty-seven times what I did about child rearing, I didn't argue. Hot dogs don't taste that bad cold. She nuked mine, but it turned out that Alan was better off with a cooled one, anyway. We were at the dinner table when Alan tried out 'Uncle Ron.' "So, Uncle Ron, are you going to stay until Momma comes home?"

"I'm staying all night," I informed him.

"With Aunt Bea?"

"Yes."

"Where are you gonna sleep? On the couch?"

"With Aunt Bea."

"Oh."

There was some freighting to that 'Oh.' I decided to investigate. "Has that happened before?"

"Once, a long time ago. Aunt Bea made funny noises late at night."

I flicked a glance at Beatrice, who was shading toward pink. "Uh ... huh..."

Alan was frowning, thinking hard. "Uncle Ron, have you been here before? After I went to bed?"

"Why?"

"Aunt Bea made those kind of sounds..."

"Recently?" I supplied.

"Uh huh. Then Momma played with her buzzing thing."

I covered my mouth. "Her buzzing thing?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know the significance of the buzzing thing?"

"Sig..."

"Do you know what it does?"

"No. Momma flops around and makes faces and grunts and groans when she plays with it, then she seems happy," Alan said seriously, "But I don't know if playing with it makes her happy or she's happy because she can put it away..."

It took me a minute to get control of my face. "Uh, Alan, you probably shouldn't say anything to Momma about that."

"Why?"

"It's a private thing, like going to the bathroom. Momma wouldn't want to know you've seen her play with the buzzing thing."

Alan turned to Beatrice. "Aunt Bea?"

"Ron is right, Honey. You really shouldn't watch Momma -- and you probably shouldn't tell her you did."

"Okay." Alan turned to me and I knew we were back to the original question.

"Yes, I was here the other night," I admitted. Alan nodded sagely, but the question was there on his face. "You're a little young to..." I began, then remembered earlier in the evening. "No, you're not, actually. We were practicing making babies. It doesn't work every time, but it's a lot of fun."

Alan's eyes popped and his mouth opened, but he nodded understanding -- and suddenly, the subject was closed -- I thought. But as I turned away, I got, "Uncle Ron?"

"Yes?"

"Are you just practicing making babies with Aunt Bea, or..."

I put on my best poker face. Beatrice said, "Alan, Honey, finish your dinner..."

But Alan wasn't going to be put off that easily. I could lie to him, but he was going to find out, anyway, and then I would be a liar... "Yes, Alan. I'm going to practice with your momma. In fact, I already have, once."

Alan absorbed this. "If it works and I get a little brother or sister, will you be my daddy then?"

I thought about it. "It isn't automatic, like it would be for your brother or sister, but if we decided together that that's what we wanted, then yes."

He sat there, looking serious. "I don't know who my daddy is."

"You don't know who your FATHER is," I corrected him. "Your father put you in your momma. But you can pick your daddy -- he's the guy who helps you grow up. If things go okay, maybe we can agree that I can be your daddy."

"Aren't a father and a daddy the same thing?"

"Lots of times," I agreed. "When a father stays around and helps a momma and helps his kids grow up, then they're one in the same. But your father was never a daddy -- he hasn't been here for you. Understand?"

"Uh huh."

"Let's give it a while and see what happens and then you can tell me what you want."

"Okay." At that point, the subject WAS over -- except for Beatrice sniffling.

Alan went to bed at eight-thirty -- and Beatrice and I were 'practicing making babies' by nine. If he was awake for it he had the good sense to pretend otherwise when Beatrice went to check on him. Bridgette came in around one and crawled into bed with us and went right to sleep.

As a result, Bridgette was totally unprepared for cross-examination by her son at breakfast.

"Momma, did you and Uncle Ron make a baby yet?" Alan asked innocently.

"WHAAAT?!?" Bridgette went bug-eyed.

I looked at Beatrice. "Fix it. Bring your sister up to date." Bridgette was hyperventilating and Alan was looking upset. "Alan, making babies is a subject you never sneak up on Momma with. Women take that kind of thing VERY seriously!"

"What's going on?" Bridgette yelped.

"You!" I turned on her. "Sit down and shut up and your sister will brief you! In the meantime, you're upsetting your son!"

"Ah..." She licked her lips. "Okay."

"Alan surprised us last night," Beatrice told her sister carefully. "It seems that he knows a lot more about what goes on that we thought he did. We ended up having a far-ranging discussion. We actually ended up covering the birds and the bees to a certain extent."

"Uncle Ron and Aunt Bea are gonna make babies," Alan announced. "Uncle Ron said so."

Bridgette turned big eyes on me and I added, "And since your sister insists upon sharing..."

Bridgette blinked in incomprehension for a moment, then her eyes doubled in size and she sucked in a breath. "OMIGAAAAWD!"

"She's gonna cry, isn't she?" Alan queried.

"You're catching on, Kid."

After the breakfast hysteria, we had breakfast -- and then Alan and I left the kitchen and went to watch cartoons so the women could babble at one another in peace. After about forty-five minutes, Bridgette came in and tugged me by the wrist -- and the look in her eye was unmistakable. I refused to budge, however.

"Ron!" she whined.

"No. You don't tell ME when -- I tell YOU when!" I admonished.

"B-but..."

"No buts. YOU told ME who needed to be in charge around here. Well, now that I'm aware of all of the ins and outs, you get to suck it up!"

"I want to suck it up..." Bridgette replied, her expression suddenly sultry.

"Papa spank!"

Alan eyed me. "What... ?"

"Momma wants to practice making babies."

"Oh." Alan shifted his gaze to his mother, who blushed.

"You don't always give them what they want. If you do, they walk on you," I advised. "It's not like I don't want to do it -- it's a LOT of fun -- but somebody has to be in control. We've agreed that somebody is me, so Momma has to wait."

"But Ron!"

"You want to stop -- right now!" I warned.

"Please!"

"Fine."

"Let's go."

"Uh uh."

"But you said..."

"Right here."

Bridgette gasped. "Ron! Alan is right there!"

"Yup. I warned you!"

"I know, but I never..."

"Thought?" I finished for her. "That's right -- you weren't thinking. Who told me how you are? Did you think I wasn't listening?" I turned to Alan. "What does she do when you don't listen to her when she says no and go on and on about something?"

"Well, a bunch of things," Alan replied.

"In general, though, she punishes you, right? She makes you do something you don't want to do or takes something away or does something else so you understand that you don't get your way and know better than to cross her next time, right?"

"Uh huh."

"Well, there are a bunch of things, like you said. I'm about to punish Momma for going on and on about things."

"What are you going to do? You aren't going to hit her, are you?"

"No. It's an option, but there are better ways. Does Momma let you see her naked?" I asked.

"No."

"Sometimes, the way to punish someone is to give them what they want -- in a way that they don't want it. Your momma and I are going to practice making babies -- right here, in front of you, so you can see it. Momma is going to be VERY embarrassed -- which is her punishment. Does that make sense?"

Alan frowned, but he nodded. I turned to Bridgette and said, "Get naked."

"But..."

I grabbed her by the wrist and went eyeball to eyeball with her. "Are we taking this to the next level?"

Bridgette stood there with her mouth open for a moment, then closed it. "No."

"Do what I tell you then."

"Ron..." Beatrice started up.

"Do you want to kneel up next to her?"

"No." Beatrice shook her head.

"Be very, very quiet..."

Bridgette was undressing, her eyes on her son. I turned to him. "There is nothing wrong with being naked -- even in front of your own son. But your momma was taught otherwise. Similarly, there is nothing wrong with you seeing her practice making babies -- but it is a very private thing for her and she will feel very vulnerable -- and therefore, she will be uncomfortable. I don't have to tell you that practicing making babies is a very basic thing, do I? Something everybody does when they get to be grownups? It's how you got here, after all. It's how I got here and how Momma got here and Aunt Bea ... Somebody made babies and those babies grew up to be us."

Alan nodded, watching his mother step out of her panties. "Uh huh."

"Pretty, isn't she?"

"Yeah."

"I think so, too. Making babies is a lot of fun -- but Momma is upset, so she's going to have trouble enjoying herself now. That's part of her punishment. I'm going to try to work around it so that she DOES enjoy herself, which will embarrass and humiliate her -- which is just as good if not a better punishment."

Alan frowned. "I still don't understand."

"Did you ever pester Momma for ice cream until she gave you too much ice cream and made you eat it until you got a headache and maybe got sick?" I asked.

"Not ice cream..."

"Something else?"

"Fire balls. She made me eat six at the same time."

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"Why haven't you two introduced me to her before now," Jake asked curiously as they headed inside. "Her mom is like really conservative. She's even worse than Mom and Dad. I doubt she would fit in with us very well, although she is pretty and smart. I like her; I just don't think it would work out too well." Bonnie shrugged. "If you want me to, I'll see if I can set you up a date." "He's only interested because she talked about his car," Della said, sticking her tongue out at...

Inviting a PickupChapter 7

Jake walked into a house full of naked tits and asses, a wonderful sight to come home to. His mother smiled at him as he disrobed by the door, cocking a baleful eye at him until he gathered his dirty clothes and took them to the laundry room. He returned to see Joan at the counter in nothing but an apron, chopping vegetables for a stew. He had grabbed a burger on the way home, but was still hungry. Jake heard something outside, it sounded like a chair being knocked over and stepped to the...

Inviting a PickupChapter 9

He took a quick shower, limiting Della to some quick petting while soaping down. He rinsed off and stepped out. She followed and he handed her a large rubber bag with a long tube attached. "It's an enema bag," he explained. "Elle needs an object lesson in just what the life of a concubine is. You've been begging me to fuck your ass for weeks now. Tonight you get your wish." "I'll send Nancy up to help if you want; she's a trained nurse and knows all about how to do this. I want you...

Inviting a PickupChapter 11

Saturday was rather chilly, the wind was whipping the last of the leaves from the trees. It seemed Mother Nature was making them pay for the warm day on Friday. Jake stood looking out the back door sipping a cup of coffee while his mother talked to the Director of the Shelter on the phone. "Sharon, all I'm saying is that I want to give these girls a chance to choose for themselves. Many of them come from poorer neighborhoods where the likelihood of a pickup taking place is slim. If they...

Lucky Jim 2Student Farmer Volunteer Pickup Truck DiplomatChapter 1

“Shit! Oh, Fuck! So much for my family believing that I’m lucky,” was the first thought that screamed through my brain as I simultaneously slammed on the brakes, and concentrated on controlling the car and not pissing myself. The next couple of seconds gave me enough time for memories to flash though my mind as I relived the high and low points of the first eighteen years of my life. Memories of Bitsy and my sister each made tears well up in my eyes, tears that I had to blink away so I could...

Lucky Jim 2Student Farmer Volunteer Pickup Truck DiplomatChapter 21

Saturday This morning, I used the smaller, upstairs study bathroom to perform my morning ablutions so I didn’t wake the others. After I dressed, I acquired two canine followers on my way downstairs and three more once I got downstairs. I’d seen the handlers turn the dogs loose to run and do their business, and I did the same, although I stayed near the back door with the door open. The barking as they frolicked drew three more dogs outside. Juwanna and Mabel just laughed at me as I watched...

Lucky Jim 2Student Farmer Volunteer Pickup Truck DiplomatChapter 25

Sat-Sun For the rest of the day and the next two, I met potential buyers and sellers of arms, jewels, old coins, and precious metals. I also met Chloe’s family, and met Jan’s parents again. The jeweler barely spent any time at all looking at the jewels. Each bag of diamonds had been carefully gathered to weigh exactly one pound, although individual diamonds weighed from .5 carat to three carats. The diamonds in each bag were all the same quality, excellent. One bag held one pound of D...

Lucky Jim 2Student Farmer Volunteer Pickup Truck DiplomatChapter 27

Tuesday Today started like most mornings, with me enjoying watching the dogs romp. When the construction crew working on the hangars and the underground vault arrived, I took the contractor aside and told him to build a runway capable of handling a corporate jet, and a hangar for a jet. He laughed at me. Then I took him inside the house and showed him the closet off the study in the upstairs part of the bedroom. “I want a two-foot deep safe installed in the back, one with side-by-side...

Lucky Jim 2Student Farmer Volunteer Pickup Truck DiplomatChapter 30

Thursday As usual, I was awake and gone before the women awoke, although I couldn’t go too far. I noticed that we were anchored offshore and not docked in New Orleans. The captain explained that the ship had never docked here, so we didn’t have a place reserved. He didn’t want to choose a dock and have me upset with his choice. “How much does it usually cost to buy fuel for the ship?” I asked. The captain looked at me oddly. “You mean for refueling the helicopters?” he asked. “No, to keep...

Lucky Jim 2Student Farmer Volunteer Pickup Truck DiplomatChapter 35

Friday I was at peace with myself this morning, and didn’t need the dogs chasing each other, the quiet walk to the creek, or working in the barn this morning. It was a good thing, because the look on Faizah’s face this morning made me sure she would have hunted me down and done me wherever I was when she found me. “I should be fertile this morning,” she husked as I pounded into her as she lay bent across my desk. When we finished, she tiptoed quickly back to the master bedroom. I’m pretty...

Lucky Jim 2Student Farmer Volunteer Pickup Truck DiplomatChapter 38

I still can’t get over the fact that I now own seven producing oil wells and am expecting an eighth to come in within a month. Leonard was beside himself when he called to tell me that the seventh well came in two weeks earlier than expected. He also warned that the well they were currently drilling aboard Lucky J #2 might come in early, too. I can live with that. As it is, the first six wells are pumping more than three million dollars a day! Leonard expects the newest well to perform as...

Lucky Jim 2Student Farmer Volunteer Pickup Truck DiplomatChapter 40

On a mid-May Friday, my wives boarded the AN-158, insisting that I join them. They wouldn’t tell me where we were going. I still had no idea what was going on when we arrived at the hotel in Lexington and they had me change into one of my tuxedos. “Will someone please tell me what we’re doing?” I asked. “You’re making us happy,” Jan replied. Two hours later the women were dressed as stylishly as I was, and we climbed into the waiting party bus. I finally realized where we were going when...

Pickup LinesChapter 9

Most of Lyle’s duties that afternoon were relatively dull, involving documents, learning the details, regulations, rules, obligations, and responsibilities of his new position from Fiona, Sandy, and Andre. Only their flirting and Stacey’s constant company, plus the occasional overtures from the pool concubines made it interesting at all. It was just a day where they had to finish the orientation process for Lyle, at least for the bulk of the day. It wasn’t until nearly the end, with an hour...

Airplane Pickups And Almost Getting Killed

Airplane Pickups, and almost getting KilledIn the first few years after I started my business, I had to do some traveling around the country, and the only practical way was to fly. To entertain myself, I came up with a little game I played on almost every flight. Or at least I attempted to play the game on virtually every flight. As soon as I boarded a flight, I quickly scanned the plane to see if there were any attractive women who were sitting in a row by themselves, or at least with an open...

Bar room pickup

This is my first story that I wrote especially for my beautiful lush girl and she encouraged me to publish it. Hope you like it.Sipping nervously from my glass I allow my gaze to wander around the bar."First timer?"I look up at the bar tender, an attractive brunette in her thirties. "Sorry?""Your first time in a gay bar, I can always spot the newbies.""Yeah I guess....""Okay honey," she leaned over the bar towards me, showing me just enough cleavage to tease me, "You want some advice?"I nod,...

A Pickup in Four BJs and Muff Dives

My family had all gone in to be CAP tested at the same time since the new laws required everyone fourteen or over to do so. When Dad and I came out with sevens and Mom and sis had high enough sixes dad had already seen the hand writing on the wall. He warned us not to show our cards unless necessary. He saw the disorganized start of protest by religious nuts and other crackpots that had started up right after the president's speech telling us that most of us were going to be eaten by the...

Ye Olde Pickup PlaceChapter 7

Actually, it was SUPPOSED to close the subject, but the hiatus only lasted about five minutes. Then Bridgette came boiling out of the back of the house somewhere and said, "What's this about going naked?" "We're discussing it," I said mildly. "What's wrong with it?" "It's WRONG!" Bridgette burst out. I held up a finger. Bridgette made to go on, but I looked stern and said, "Shut up! We'll get back to you in a second." Then I turned to Alan. "Your mother is suffering from...

Pickup or DeliveryChapter 3

'Silent Breaking of the Golden Dawn' turned out to be crewed almost entirely by sponsors picked up in Japan. I don't know if there is a standard procedure for making up crews, but 'Dawn' seems to run along pretty well. The Marines aboard were mostly Brits or Americans on temporary duty. The transporters don't work like on that old TV show, instead they warp space. They can even be set up to mimic a continual flow, like a pipeline. You can't run a train through a transporter, the cars...

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