Mad Cowboys and Alien FucktardsChapter 2
- 2 years ago
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The hot, pressing issues folk had, just moments ago, cooled rather quickly once we finally got the cattle moving; just as I knew they would. There’s too much to do leaving little time to concern oneself with drama, so it naturally takes a back seat, at least for the first while.
All my drovers fell into nice routines and soon started singing cowboy songs, keeping the Longhorns calm and melancholy with each passing tune. The weather was perfect; not too hot but not too cold either. And we made fantastic time during the first two days, especially considering we’re a new crew that barely started working together.
It generally takes more time than this to get on the same page.
The Mexicans impressed me right out of the gate, I can’t lie. Clearly this wasn’t their first rodeo.Clyde, Jimmy, Ben and Frankie were also pros and performing as such. That leaves Jacob and Pastor Paul to evaluate and it’s still too early to make a final verdict.
Jacob is a lazy spoiled brat, no denying that, but he’s keeping decent care of the horses even if we have to constantly remind him of his ongoing duties. There’s hope for him, I’ll give him that much.
Pastor Paul, on the other hand, is doing a lot better than expected. But this doesn’t say much, considering how low a bar I’d set for him to begin with. The man has experience neither working with his hands nor being out in the elements, but he’s trying and giving an honest day’s effort and that counts for a lot in my books.
All things considered, we’re getting along great and making fantastic time so it’s a shame our first major obstacle had to arrive so quickly. I knew it was coming but dreaded it nonetheless. It’ll be our first crossing of a major river and fuck ... I wish it didn’t have to come up so soon.
We were only a few days into our trip, but there’s no avoiding it.
The boys would just have to deal with it as best they could even though we’ve only begun to knock the rust off. A few more days with the cattle would have gone a long way in strengthening our team, but alas, this is where we’re at.
I rode a few miles ahead of the herd and soon reached the river’s edge, looking for the best place to cross. Crusher ran alongside me and, as usual, was reading my mind for he darted into the wide body of water looking for shallow ground. I could tell, based on his struggle, that each spot he picked was too deep for our cattle to traverse. So we kept traveling further along the riverbank inspecting the shoreline as we go.
“Ah ha!” I exclaimed when reaching a potential passageway.
I climbed off my horse and trudged right into the water, boots and all. It’s fucking cold but thankfully the river here barely reached my waist and I could feel solid ground underfoot. I treaded carefully the whole way, about a hundred and fifty feet and soon reached dry ground on the other side.
“This will do,” I said to myself, glad to have found it. Crusher shook himself dry on the shore, splashing me in the process.
Unfortunately, I soon learned the shallow area wasn’t very wide. When I strayed more than fifteen paces to the right or left it got deep really fast and because of the shallowness, the current ran a little faster here than in other spots. All of that combined meant we couldn’t risk crossing more than a few dozen Longhorns at a time. Getting one thousand beasts to the other side safely would take all day if not two.
I rubbed my tired eyes at the thought but what choice did we have? I didn’t want to waste any more time looking for another passageway.
“Fuck it, this is the spot,” I said aloud in an attempt to convince myself. “We’ll be fine. I got Jimmy and Ben after all.”
And with that I climbed back onto my horse and rode off towards the boys. I’m soaked from my waist down but knew the heat of day would dry me off soon enough.
“Come on Crusher!” I yelled back to my wandering mutt. “Let’s go!”
He barked his disappointment, but soon chased up the rear nonetheless.
My time estimate of two days might have been a little off based on our tremendously slow start. First, it took forever to get the cattle to the riverbank. I don’t know if it was the men’s fucking inexperience or the stubbornness of our goddamned cows, but either way it pissed me off.
Second, and even more annoying, three of our Mexican drovers disappeared for most of the morning. Carlos explained they’d gone off chasing four strays but why it took a total of three men to do so is anyone’s guess. Needless to say we were short handed.
After a long morning of slow trudging, we finally break for lunch and sat around the chuck wagon while enjoyingClyde’s freshly cooked lunch of bread and beans. About half way through our meal, the Mexicans finally returned with our four strays.
“Gather around ya’ll!” I yelled out afterClydefinished serving the newcomers.
“What’s up boss?” Carlos asked between bites.
“First off,” I said trying to stay calm but sensing my temper about to boil over. “Why in the fuck, did three of you wankers leave to chase after four measly cattle? What the hell were you thinking?” I glared at the Mexicans who all kept my stare. “That’s a job for one man, not three.”
“Sorry boss,” Jose replied sheepishly but Ricardo and Manuel didn’t appear repentant whatsoever. Instead they stared back at me with their usual contempt.
“I don’t want apologies,” I said still trying to remain calm. “Just don’t let it happen again.”
“Right,” Jose nodded vigorously. “It won’t.”
“Good, there’ll be no more talk about it then,” I said looking around. “Where’s Jimmy and Jacob?”
“Jacob’s with the horses,” Frankie yelled out. “And pretty sure Jimmy is looking after the cattle while we eat.”
“Fine, that’ll work.” I said, kneeling down on one knee and using a twig to draw two lines in the dirt.
“What’s that Buck?” Paul asked. He and the others formed a nice circle around me and my image.
“Is that a nudie pic?” Frankie joked and got a few laughs.
“No Frankie,” I replied condescendingly. “This here’s the river we’re about to cross.”
“Don’t look like no river I ever seen,” Frankie joked again but this time got nothing for his efforts.
I ignored this asshole and carried on with my lecture.
“Here’s the river,” I pointed to the two lines with my twig. “And here’s where our cattle are now.” I drew an X below the two lines. “And this is where we want ‘em to be when we’re all said and done.” I drew a circle above river and another two lines straight through it. “This here is the shallow part. It’ll serve as our crossing.”
I looked around at the men’s faces trying to determine if they were following along or not.
Most nodded back.
“It’s not very deep at this point; only about two or three feet however, it’s also not very fucking wide. If the cattle stray from this path they’ll find themselves unable to touch bottom and will likely get swept away by the current.”
“We don’t want that ta happen,” Benny said adamantly with both hands in his pockets.
“Exactly,” I said shaking my head. “So we have to work together as a team and take just a few head across at a time.”
“What do you want us to do?” Paul crossed his arms.
“Glad you asked Pastor,” I said, standing upright. “I’m going to pair yas up and as long as everyone pulls their weight we’ll be fine.”
“Put me and my brother together will ya?” Carlos demanded.
“Sure thing,” I said. “You and Manuel will break off a dozen cattle from the main herd, at a time, and walk ‘em up to the river’s edge.”
“Sure thing boss,” Carlos said. Manuel had no idea what I was talking about but his brother would translate.
“Ricardo you’ll stay with the cattle at their current spot,” I looked at him carefully, trying to determine if he understood me or not. “Keep ‘em happy and grazing where they are.”
“Will do,” Ricardo tipped his hat.
“Me, Jimmy, Ben and the pastor will all be in the river,” I pointed to my drawing on the ground. “We’ll set up with two on each side, right at the edge of the shallows. We’ll form a boundary and keep the cattle moving on course.”
“Sounds good,” Paul said, smiling nervously.
“Frankie?” I looked the dickhead straight in the eyes.
“What do you want me to do boss?” he scratched his fitly shirt.
I’d love to get him in the water if only to clean him up a bit for all of our sakes. “You’re going to gather up the cattle as they’re crossing the river.”
“Can do,” he replied confidently.
“You march ‘em up to Jose who’s going to stay with those that crossed safely.”
“Sure thing,” Jose agreed.
“There’s a grassy plain up a ways on the other side,” I said looking in his calloused face. “They’ll be happy just grazing there till we’re all done.”
He nodded once more.
“Okay, ya’ll got your fucking jobs,” I looked around at the circle of men. “Any questions?”
Nobody said anything.
“Okay then,” I forced a smile. “We’re going to take our sweet ass time with this. We’ll work till supper and then decide whether we have the strength and light to cross a few more before nightfall.”
“Got it boss,” the men replied confidently before heading off to their various posts.
“I hope to God this works,” I said toClydeafter everyone had left.
He was still cleaning the lunch dishes.
“It’s a good plan Buck,” he smiled reassuringly. “I’m more worried about crossing my chuck wagon than your goddamned cattle.”
I laughed and patted the old man on the back, knowing this was his way of subtly bringing his issue to my attention. “Don’t worry about that. The boys want to keep their food and supplies as safe as possible. They’ll be motivated to take extra care of you. You can count on that.”
He chuckled and I look reassuringly at him before stepping away.
The plan worked great for most of the afternoon. We managed to cross a few hundred cattle, all without incident. The boys brought a workable number of cows to the river’s edge and we kept moving them safely across until late in the day.
That’s when things went sideways.
“What the hell are you doing?” I yelled out to Paul who suddenly hopped off his horse even though I’d told him specifically never to so. “Get back on your fucking ride!”
But the bastard didn’t listen. I watched as he ploughed through the rough waters with his hands raised above his waist to keep them dry. He stopped at a struggling calf. The poor beast was stuck on something. It moaned in agony. Must have wedged her foot between some rocks.
“Paul get out of there!” I yelled again but he couldn’t hear me over the rushing water and mooing cattle. He plucked himself right in the middle of the action. Nervous cows were passing him by on both directions and, to make matters worse, the dumb bastard had his back turned.
“How many fucking times do I tell them to never take their eyes off the herd?” I said to myself as I worked my horse in his direction. “Oh fuck!”
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Mark woke up at his usual time, along with the sun, and extracted himself from between Rayven and Annabelle. Took care of his morning ablutions, then went up to his office to get his morning coffee and look through the daily reports. As soon as he sat down, Cricket notified him that during the night, one of the new sensor beacons detected a habitable planet. It was the one that she predicted had the greatest chance of success, since it was the closest one to the area that they were found and...
Two days of workouts, sports and sex later, they found themselves orbiting a blue-green planet named Ardent. Slightly smaller than Earth, but it had 2 small moons and it appeared to only have one massive continent that accounted for roughly one-third of the surface area of the planet, although there were many fairly large islands in the ocean. The continent itself appeared to be split into 4 regions by either water or mountains, so despite being one continent, each region was probably quite...
Captain Kôté had said the Agonoid shields were the biggest problems, and admittedly their own shields were the biggest defensive and offensive advantage they had, well that and their cloaking. Cricket said there was no evidence to suggest that the Agonoids had cloaking capability. Mark asked, “So knowing what we know about our shields, how do you defeat ships with shields?“ Cricket said, “There is a few ways around our shields, one is to bombard them with enough weaponry that the shield...
The Sentinel was to reach the asteroid field just after supper time on Atlantis, so after supper, Mark and Annabelle waited in his office so Cricket could do the virtual bridge thing again. Right on schedule, Cricket darkened the room and enabled the virtual bridge. Annabelle watched in amazement, she had, of course, been on the bridge of the Poseidon, but the virtual bridge of the Sentinel was much more immersive as it was just like looking out into space, with a couple of displays in...
The next couple of days, saw Mark spending much of his time in the gym sparring with people, playing sports and spending time with his various ladies. The Commander announced over the ship’s intercom, “We will be exiting light drive in a minute and we will be in orbit within the hour. Finish up what you are doing and check in with your units. Exit the ship in a calm and orderly fashion. The shuttle schedule has been posted. Light first, transition to dark.” Mark asked, “What does he mean by...
Back on the Poseidon and ready to return to Earth, Mark could tell something was bothering Rayven. Figuring it was because he had left her on the ship today, he apologized for not taking her to the surface. Rayven just hugged him and said that wasn’t what was upsetting her, as she started describing the call she just had with Annabelle less than an hour ago, “There had been a situation at the Port of Atlantis with a couple going through security. The man went through security first and, as...
The rest of the day was pretty normal, not many people around and no further incidents or conflicts. The day was primarily moving stuff from the house and ship to the lodge. When they came in for lunch, Kat informed Mark that his phone had been ringing all morning. Since he never carried it with him anymore, he just left it in the office. When he looked at his phone, he saw that all of the calls were from the same number and although his call history showed they had called 8 times, there was...
Mark, Maren and Gyges had left so suddenly, which had them worried, but they were also eager to participate in catching the bastard. Now that everyone had wrist devices, they had begun using them more, but they didn’t want to contact them via their wrist devices, just in case they ended up distracting or compromising them somehow. Angela informed them that there was a shuttle at the palace and that she could pilot it, if they wanted to go out there? The group agreed and walked off through...
Marnot was the closest member to Athos, being only 3 days in light drive away now that Cricket had upgraded the light engines on the Battlestar and other stationary ships. Marnot itself wasn’t actually a planet, but a good sized moon around a very large gas planet. Marnot was very lush and humid, there were no large mountains or anything, just one big sea that covered most of the moon and two large island continents, which were primarily rainforests. The dominant civilized species on both...
In the morning, Mark went to his office to go through his daily reports. The only item that caught his attention was that there were hundreds of unknown ships approaching Cantara, which was on the far side of the sensor network. Mark asked, “Is that the Rifters?“ “I think so, I do recognize a few of the ships from when they were around Trayak.” “How far is Cantara from here?“ “A long way! Cantara was one of the most remote planets the Federation ever found, even with our upgraded FTL...
Mark asked, “We need to leave immediately? Does the embassy have weapons yet?” Liyana answered, “They are not fully installed or operational yet, but we can leave a fighter or two here to defend the embassy. We really must leave right now!” The urgency and worry apparent in her voice, now had Mark starting to get worried, “Why? What’s going on?” Liyana explained, “The prince has found an ancient law, that hasn’t been used since before we left Earth over 3,000 years ago, but he’s invoked it...
Mark could hear voices around him, but couldn’t make out what they were saying. He tried to open his eyes, but everything was still black. He tried to speak to no avail, nor could he seem to move anything. “Don’t panic, “ he thought, “this is just me recovering from the anesthetic or whatever the chamber used to knock me out.” The voices were starting to get a little clearer. Still muffled, but clearer. He could now see light and shadows, but still no ability to speak or move. “Mark can...
Now that it looked like things were starting to settle down, Mark wanted to get some insight into how everyday life was for most citizens. Angela suggested that everyone come to her home, since it was time she returned anyway. She tapped a couple of icons on her wrist and ordered a lift. Liyana, Gyges and Maren opted to stay at the palace to plan the next steps, whereas Candy and Laruun volunteered to stay behind since they were going to return home anyway. Mark, Annabelle, Rayven, Solara,...
Three weeks of sports, sex and workouts later they were finally back in orbit around Earth. The news of Sebastian’s cowardly demise made it into the news, but was merely a minor story, it seems like everyone in the Federation were just glad he was of no further concern. Mark and the girls were getting impatient as they came out of FTL and it seemed to take forever before the shuttles started leaving for the surface. Everyone eager to get back home, since they’d been away so long. They were...