American Dad Problems With CloningChapter 2 Birth of Stephanie Smith
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I spent some time researching the kitchen before I had anything done to it. I had a clay tile floor with drains installed, otherwise it was pretty much empty, save for the large sinks.
That and the finished electrical was done before Autumn arrived home. She had been through the worst of it, so knew exactly what she was seeing. She took the grand tour before she fell exhausted into the bed.
I suppose it was a combination of the work being almost completed on the castle and our forced separation that caused it to happen that night. I certainly didn't plan it and I never asked if she had. Whatever the reason it just happened. I would have expected it to be some monumental thing but it wasn't. It was just as natural as breathing or eating.
Autumn was a very animated lover, also vocal. I understood then why she had insisted that we wait till there was no chance that a worker would be about. She also had a very large vocabulary of off color words. I expected some even in foreign languages. From her years of travel no doubt. Most unnerving of all was that she giggled like a school girl when she had an orgasm. I figured I could get used to it though.
"Jake, it is time to buy a car. That rental car sitting in the parking lot of the clinic was stupid. Every time I looked out at it, I could see a cash register ringing."
"Well that was your idea," I reminded her.
"I didn't want to rush into anything."
"So you waited a week to rush into something?" I laughed at her even while I kissed her neck.
"Stop that, now that we have hot water, go take a shower. Then take me to buy a car."
"I don't need a shower," I said it grinning.
"Yes you do you stink of sex." she smiled at me when she spoke.
"I know, like I said I don't need a shower."
"You are so bad. Now get up and shower so that I can."
From noon until five we looked at new cars. From five until six we ate dinner while she agonized over what to buy. I had a feeling she would bypass the SUV since it was an environmental nightmare. I was right of course, she finally bought some exotic fifty miles per gallon toy. I didn't figure she was gonna like it much, but I also didn't argue with her. I just listened while she talked herself into it.
She had just enough credit to get past the finance manager that night. He arranged the bank checks and took her first pay stub as proof of employment. She was told to pick up her new car the next day. I supposed that I could have paid cash for her car but hell she was the one with the job. Besides the government investigates large cash purchases.
With her car Autumn regained her freedom. She left me often struggling with the details of the castle while she went exploring. I loved to see her come home but I also enjoyed seeing her leave. It was much easier to be a prick without her witnessing it.
She was off on another job when Slocum came again. That time he pushed the bell that rang in my tower bedroom as well as the downstairs. I found him standing on the bridge we had erected to allow for entry into the main hall. With the giant chains that did nothing it looked like a draw bridge. The chains had been ships anchor chain I was told. Which scrapped ship I did not know or care. The large chain was also looped through iron posts on the bridge to make a handrail. The bridge was true to the width of the castle's massive doors but it had to be longer by far to reach the other side of the ravine. One look from the bridge and I knew that I would be building a moat very soon. The ravine just screamed for one.
I had answered all the email which I received from my merry men. It was a habit and a job since they knew me better than anyone else. I kept them informed of the progress and they all gave me ideas. I had mentioned to them all that I planned to find a caterer and begin booking functions at the castle just as soon as it was completed
After her second gig, Autumn dragged me to a museum. They were having a living history kind of thing. She forced me to go look because it was the kind of thing I had planned for the Castle. It was American Revolution time period which I found interesting but I really had an earlier period in mind for the Castle.
What Autumn found interesting was the blacksmith. So interesting I might have been jealous had she not kept pulling me closer to her. "Look Autumn would you forgive me a moment. I see someone I need to talk to."
Autumn frowned slightly but nodded. I wandered off to talk to a camp follower. A woman who was the wife of a reinactor. She was the only one who didn't look busy at that moment.
"Hi, I was wondering if I might have a word with you."
"Surely sir," she said in her British accent.
"Could you tell me is there a place on the web where I might find out about other groups like yours."
"I'm sure that if you went to a good search engine it would pull up the names of several sites."
"Just search as historic actors?"
"No sir, I would think under reinactor." she actually blushed.
"Ah well thank you." I didn't intend to go farther but she was interested.
"Are you interested in joining a group. We certainly have room for another dragoon."
"No thanks I had king in mind." I smiled at her. She was mystified even though she smiled up at me. "I own a castle near here and might be interested in hosting this kind of thing is all."
"So you are the mad man?" She had made it a question with her voice.
"Yes I suppose I am. I had no idea my fame had spread."
"It has and would like to talk to you. So you have a card?"
"No cards yet, I still don't know what I have planned for the place."
"Ah they are about to kill my husband. I know where the place is are you accepting visitors yet?"
"Not really," I replied.
"How about the press, I work for the local rag."
"Ah the forth estate, very well stop by one day. If I am home, we can talk."
"Tomorrow around twelve?" She was certainly pushy enough to be a reporter.
"Okay but make it one." I didn't tell her that I was jerking her around.
"One it is then," she smiled as she rushed off to care for her fallen warrior husband. I looked at the aftermath of the battle and thought how clean it all was and how quiet. I could have given them a few pointers on that one.
When I approached Autumn and the blacksmith, I noted that they broke off their conversation quickly. They were definitely conspiring but in what I had no idea. I also was not interested in making it an issue. Autumn was well over 21 if she chose to stay with me I would forever be grateful, if however she left, I would not chase after her. That decision freed me from worry, so I made peace with it all. I didn't even ask her about the blacksmith on our ride back to the Castle.
Autumn had been home ten days when I got a call on my cell phone. "Robin, it is me Marion, I need to talk to you. Can you get away from Herr Doctore?"
"Of course I can, but would it matter if I brought the sawbones."
"No of course not, I meant can you drag yourself away from her body long enough to talk business. If you wish to bring the medic bring her. It makes no difference to me."
"Okay where and when?" I could see Autumn frown. I wasn't sure if it was because Marian was a woman or because she might be offering me a job. I had been more or less released by a local cardiologist but Autumn was not convinced.
"I am checked into your Grandview resort."
"Marion, I had no idea you were a golfer."
"I'm not, I came for the waters. How about one hour?"
"We will be there."
"How about the restaurant downstairs. There is one in the lobby open to non guests." She had checked it out with her usual thoroughness.
"Suits me," I spent a few minutes pondering Marion's visit then dismissed it as simple curiosity. Unlike her I didn't hide my whereabouts, well not from ISC anyway. The drive to the resort took half of the hour, the rest was taken with a quick shower and a change of clothes.
Marion was tall for an Oriental woman. It had to be the European or American in her. She had somehow inherited the best of both worlds. Her eyes were mysterious with just a hint of a slant. Her hair was long and black that morning. Her characteristic bun was missing in favor of the long flowing curls.
"Well hello there, I hardly recognized you." I said it smiling.
"Women look a little differently when not dressed to kill. I has to do with the hair, I expect." I noted the warmth in her eyes. Neither of us spoke till after we examined the menu.
It was waiter who came to the table. I don't really approve of restaurants with waiters. Way to yuppie for my taste. However he was efficient and he listened when I told him to bring the food, leave a pitcher of iced tea on the table and not come back. I showed him the twenty dollar bill.
"So Marion, what brings you to the wilds of North Carolina? I do hope it was to see me?"
"What else is there to do here. Oh yes, I did come to see your castle as well. Also Marion is gone."
Really?"
"Yes the group has been disbanded. I decided it is time for me to retire. Which brings me to why I am here. I really want to see your castle."
"Well the Castle is a long way from finished but it is closed in at least. After lunch you can take the ride out with me. That is, if you can put on some clothes you don't mind getting dirty."
"Well, I don't really mind if these get ruined. I bought them for this trip, I have very few western outfits." She had just told me that she lived in a country in which the women wore non western clothes. There weren't that many of them left and few of those would allow her to be as free as the west.
"So what shall I call you?"
"Call me Jasmine, it isn't my name but then you could never say my name without spoiling it. Jasmine sounds like a good name for the Southern United States."
"It most definitely does sound like a southern name. Now all you have to do is to remember your drawl."
"Oh ah can do that jess fine Miss ta Jake," she said with a very ladylike giggle.
"Well chile you seem to have it down just fine." I replied with a laugh.
Lunch came and went without either being especially good or filling. It was expensive more than anything else. I had a feeling I would have felt any twenty buck roast beef sandwich lacked something. Something like fifteen dollars in change.
After lunch we drove to the castle in my jeep. On the way there, just to make small talk Jasmine finally asked, "So where is the lady doctor?"
"Autumn is shopping for clothes. She has been rather under clothed since she got back. The things she had left at her mothers hang on her. Seems the good doctor found the ideal diet. Nothing suited to her American stomach was available in most of the places she worked. The result was she lost twenty pounds more than she could afford to lose."
"Yes I remember. I have seen children living on the street with more fat on them."
"Yes I know. Anyway she is out trying to find something to wear that doesn't make her look like refugee."
That conversation let to silence which lasted all the way to the Castle. I couldn't help glancing over at Jasmine as we left the wooded area between the road and the meadow where everyone parked. On that bright afternoon the castle looked its worst. On a gray misty day it looked its best. Even so Jasmine's eyes lighted up at the sight of it.
"My god Jake, you weren't kidding. The place is a tiny castle." She continued on to the bridge over the gully.
"There is going to be a moat under this bridge when I get the time. Right now I have to finish the interior." Jasmine nodded as we continued.
"These doors have to go," she said. One thing about Jasmine, she was not at all political. You always knew exactly what she was thinking. Not that she shared everything. It was just that what she did share was exactly what she felt. She never tempered anything.
"Well Uncle Slocum isn't up to building doors." I did know what she meant. The original doors were long gone of course. The front facade screamed for large heavy doors. The stone had been laid in a large arch so the doors would be possible in about any configuration I wanted.
"Well jake, you will just have to find someone else to make them, but large heavy doors are a must." I nodded my agreement. We were inside when she spoke again. "New windows of course, with yellow leaded glass."
"Probably on the glass, definitely on the new windows." I smiled as I caught her mood. She had become not a casual observer but somehow a part of the project that quickly. She turned when she reached the far end of the great room. The room is gorgeous, but you need a giant chandelier to do it justice. She turned to the wall on the rear of the great room.
"Now this is a more current addition. It is probably less than a hundred years old." She nodded opening the door to the room which I planned to be a large kitchen. It occupied almost all the floor above the ground level basement where Autumn and I had lived for almost all of the previous two months.
Only a part of the room had been cut out to make a hall and two bathrooms. Those I had set up for the guests who I hoped would one day visit the castle. The kitchen part was mostly an empty room at that moment. When I explained the layout which Autumn and I had worked out, Jasmine simply nodded. She was in a hurry to see the basement. I could tell from her almost complete dismissal of the kitchen.
She instantly fell in love with the flagstone floor of the addition. It was the room where Autumn and I had slept and done about everything else. Her one remark was, "Windows."
I nodded my agreement. She found her way to the old ice cream parlor table and chair which Autumn and I used for our skimpy meals. We still prepared them in the corner of that room using counter top appliances. Neither of us wanted to cook, so it was diner food or what we could heat in a microwave or toaster oven.
"So were are the worker?" Jasmine asked.
"It is Saturday hon, they don't work on weekends. They will be back to finish the painting on Monday. By Wednesday Uncles Slocum and I will be discussing what to do next."
"Do you really think you can make any money here?" It was a question I would have asked myself.
"I doubt it, but Jasmine you know there is no need to make money. I am only doing it because I think it will be fun. The money is secondary. The place can't bleed me, otherwise I am just in it for the laughs."
She listened quietly then nodded her agreement. She seemed to have come to some kind of decision. "Jake, you want a caterer and business manager for the place, I to want to have some fun. In my country there is no fun like this. I can get a visa if you will make a contract with me to manage the Castle's social events. Since as you say there is no money pressure, we will do only the things that interest us both. I will consult with you before I book anything that is major. I don't expect that you would mind small things like weddings."
"No but you need to let us know. Autumn and I sleep up those stairs on the side of the great room. I would hate to be coming down in my underwear during a wedding."
"Someday that might be a problem, but I can't see it as one now."
"What about you, where will you live?" I had known in my heart from the time she called me that she planned something more serious than a casual visit. Visiting was just not what people in my old line of work did.
"I think one of those cute American town houses. I did some research on the web and I think there is a place available I might just like. It is only a few miles from here."
"If it is in Holly then it can't be more than a couple of miles." Holly was not an especially large town. I planned to draw events of a more regional nature. Probably a couple of weddings, since we weren't all that far from Greensboro.
"Now that I have seen how serious, or un serious you are, it is time to get to work. Do we need a paper between us Jake?"
"Sweetie there is more between us than paper?" I said it but I would have gladly signed a contract with her. That is once we figured out what her role would be.
"So I book and manage the events, then pay you a rental fee for the castle?" It was a question.
"That sounds okay for now, but first lets try it a while, then work out the details." Jasmine nodded her agreement.
As if on cue Autumn walked into the room. She walked to the table as Jasmine and I stood. She kissed me as if to stake a claim, then she turned to Jasmine and smiled. "Well Marion nice to see you." Jasmine smiled knowingly at Autumn. They had reached an understanding without a word being spoken. I expected that governments could learn a lot from women.
"My dark haired friend's new name is Jasmine." I smiled over at Marion.
"It suits you Jasmine," Autumn said it with a genuine smile.
"If I am going to be living in the south, I thought I must have a southern name."
"Oh and where will you be living?" Autumn suddenly wasn't as sure of herself.
"Jake and I just worked out a deal for me to cater the events here. Also to book them, at least some of them."
"When did you decide all this Jake?" Autumn was more amused than angry.
"You know it was always the plan. So when Jasmine suggested it, I jumped on it."
"So Jasmine," Autumn's inflection was on the new name. "Where will you be living. I do hope you hadn't planned to live on the grounds. Of course we do still have Jake's old tent."
"No, no I am thinking of a townhouse in Holly." She smiled at Autumn with a wicked smile.
I had a feeling that war might breakout after all. "She decided against Greensboro and I don't blame her the place has become a nightmare."
"True, it was a mess for me even at the Country Mall."
"You have been shopping I hear," Jasmine remarked. "I don't suppose you would care to model for us."
"I think I best save my modeling for later when Jake and I are alone. No offense Jasmine but some of the things I bought would make you blush."
"Ah, one never knows who will be the one to blush." Autumn was playing in the wrong league and she finally realized it. "Well when you two finish your business, I will be upstairs watching TV."
"I am going to drive Jasmine back to the Grandview in a bit, do you want to come along."
"No thanks, just make sure you find your way home," Autumn smiled but there was no joy in it.
"I think she is jealous," Jasmine replied.
"I expect that I should be the one who is jealous." I grinned at Jasmine.
"One never knows," Jasmine replied.
We switched to a business discussion for a few more minutes then I put her in the toy jeep for the drive back to the Grandview. I didn't get out of the jeep since we pretty much had said it all and I doubted that she would be leaving again. I agreed to meet her again after she found a place to live.
That night after viewing Autumn's purchases I explained Jasmine's preferences. She laughed at first then said, "Oh my God, I completely misread her remarks. She was flirting with me right under your nose."
"Well you know I have had a heart attack, she might think she can take me now." I laughed at the thought that Jasmine and I would fight over a woman. Autumn and I made love that night but I felt a third person in the bed. I just wasn't sure how Jasmine got in my head or whether she was in Autumn's head as well.
The next morning just after sunup Autumn left for a small town in the Tennessee/North Carolina Mountains. She had a two week stint there. She would have been nervous about Jasmine, if she hadn't known that Jasmine wasn't pure Les. I knew that from one of the times we were all in hiding for a week. Every day a small army of African gentlemen looked for us. We hid in the jungle while making our way to a clean LZ. ISC wouldn't risk a chopper to a hot LZ. That was as it should be, we made a damn site more money than the airborne taxi drivers.
During that period occasionally Marion would slip off with Allen the mad Russian. A couple of hours later they would return not nearly as nervous as before. That being the case I knew for a fact that Marion aka Jasmine would at times go for a guy.
Jasmine phoned me to tell me she was going to New York to push for a green card. I wished her luck and continued my meetings with Slocum, Ernie, and window salesmen. Slocum's people built me a door from two by twelves bolted to a couple of steel sheets. They installed them under the stationary boards that filled the top of the arch. The fake doors saved me a couple of grand and were much more secure. They were also so heavy as to require a counter weight system. The weights were such an unusual feature that I had them hung outside so that people could see how they worked.
After the doors were made and hung the gas company rep came out to talk about heating plants. He assured me that everything I liked would be cold and drafty. I knew that he was probably correct but then all those buildings were cold and drafty. I informed him that I wanted it to be bearable not necessarily toasty. Cool was okay but not freezing. My number one requirement was that it not be obtrusive in the great room.
What they came up with was a hot water boiler system. It was a steamer truck sized boiler that forced hot water up a pipe and into the fake baseboards along the outside walls. The units extended into the room no more than four inches and were about eight inches high. The two addition rooms were heated the same way.
The tower had a fake gas fireplace unit for heat. A second such unit sat in the bar area of the additions lower room. Autumn and I could use the fake fireplaces to avoid firing the boiler should we choose to. Actually the boiler was on a thermostat so that the pipes would not freeze it was ingenious since the kitchen bar and bathrooms were on a separate line which required much less heat. They simple got enough heat to prevent the freeze when the castle was not in use. The system looked just fine to me so I approved it. The thing I liked best was that all the hot water unit requires was a hole in the floor large enough for a pipe similar to garden hose to be slipped through. The control manifold was in the wet basement along with the boiler and hot water heater. There were actually two hot water heaters. One stored the water for the kitchen and baths but the other much larger one was where the water from the boiler was stored until it had cooled enough to require reheating. Small pumps cycled the water through the system to the baseboard units, then carried it back to remix in the heater until it was cool enough to need reheating. They said it was a super efficient system and I believed them.
Air conditioning was a totally different matter. A large and heavily insulated duct traveled from the wet basement up the side of the castle in a exterior chase. It spilled cold air into the tower bedroom as well as the great room. Since the tower was my bedroom it required much less treated air than the castle in general.
Uncles Slocum built fake beams to hide the ductwork. It was a bitch of a job but it finally got done but not before the summer was almost over. While they worked on hiding the ducts the window people installed the single track metal windows. They could be opened but I was tempted to bolt them shut.
Right in the middle of all the finishing work, a man showed up at the castle door. "Yes?" I asked from inside the massive doors. I was testing the speakeasy style door slot.
"Got a deliver for somebody called Autumn Daze. I think it is a joke but here I am."
"Okay, just leave the box on the drawbridge." I planned to go back to watching Slocum and his men try to hide the ducts inside huge faked beams.
"Well I can leave it but it ain't no box and I agreed to install it."
"What the hell is it?" I asked.
"It is a headboard, :
"Okay bring it on down and let me take a look at it." The headboard was huge and made of wrought iron. "What the hell is that thing?"
"Some kind of old gate she found somewhere. She had me make it into a headboard."
"Okay you two better bring it inside. I don't think I can do it."
"She said not to let you touch it." The man smiled he obviously didn't know why she had told him or he wouldn't have smiled.
The small tower bedroom was packed with that bed and the old platform we had been sleeping on. The platform was gone before Autumn returned from her work. I never asked her what she paid and she never told me. I also didn't volunteer to pay for the bed that must have cost a fortune.
Autumn came home from her two weeks work, then fell into that bed jerking me down with her. Before we went to sleep we discovered that the bed squeaked,
"Gee for the kind of money you paid, it shouldn't squeak."
"You are kidding right? Robin honey, I paid extra for that squeak." She grinned a wicked grin, then pulled me to her again.
Autumn spent two weeks at the castle during which time I got very little done. I couldn't get my mind clear enough to even make plans. I was almost, but not quite, happy to see her off on another weeks fill in work.
Two days after she left town, I got a message to pick Marion/Jasmine up at the airport. She was in the car and headed to the Grandview when she explained. "I got the green card Jake. I can stay as long as I keep a job. Hell I might even become a citizen. I like that idea."
"Sounds like a plan, so you gonna do the catering at the castle or have you changed your mind."
"No catering for me. I am gonna manage the events though. And I have hired us a caterer."
"How the hell did you hire a caterer in Europe?"
"Jake honey, there are people in Europe just dying to get to America. Besides this one you will love.
"Oh who might this caterer be?" I wasn't sure I wanted know. I was definitely not sure that I liked her taking over any part of the Castle. It had been my dream.
"Allen/Vlad of course, I bet you had no idea he was a chef." She saw my questioning look. "Okay amateur Chef, but good enough for this country."
"I see, are you planning to bring them all here, and who runs the Castle when you decide to go adventuring?"
"We all decided to retire." She saw my look before she continued. "Okay look, what happened to you. It could happen to us all. We decided that we want to start over somewhere, somewhere no one knows us. In other words we think you had a hell of an idea and we want to play to."
"Why don't you go create your own fantasy?" I asked it but not at all harshly.
"Come on Robin you know you are the only one with any real imagination. We just want to play along with your fantasy. We figure that we can find enough to do around here without playing with the guns ever again."
"Do you mean they are all coming?"
"I had planned to break it to you a little more slowly but yes. Everyone is planning to come for a while. Some think they might get too bored to stay but others think it is going to be great fun."
"They will get bored. This town is no place for us but it is my home."
"Most of us can't go back to our own homes Robin, so we are going to adopt yours."
"Any what are your responsibilities as advance person?" I knew there was more to it than a simple visit.
"I have been instructed to make you an offer."
"Which is?"
"I know you have to have a couple of million of your own money in the castle."
"Not that much yet, but it could go that high I guess."
"We all want to buy in. Set up the Castle just the way you want and we will all buy a share. That way there is no Salary nonsense to worry about, we just split it all. We will all find jobs around here of course. But we should also have time to do lots of other things that catch our interest."
"I'm gonna have to think that one over."
"Well while you think, we have an alternative plan for you."
"And what might that be?"
"Have your Uncle Slocum build us a block of townhouses. We will each buy one from you at a fair price. That will help you recover some of the money you put into this place. We need places to live and that is what we want."
"Do you have a list of features you want in them?" I knew the others would have given her a list alright.
"Yes, of course."
"Okay," I replied. As I was my only claim to fame, I began thinking on my feet. If I was gonna build five, I might as well build twenty. "What else are you thinking?"
"We were thinking a little block of shops, one for each of us might be nice. Nothing too fancy mind you just something in keeping with the theme here."
"Next thing I know you will be wanting to conduct tours." I wasn't a bit angry, I was happy to have someone to kick ideas around with.
"Actually we had festivals in mind, maybe even mystery weekends with us all being actors. Honest Robin, all we want is to have some fun in our retirement. You know none of us have ever had much fun."
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