The Seduction of Grandad
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Romance: Another country heard from:10.
Major Austin, "You can call me David," and his band of slightly daft 'excavators'..."We like to dig into things" ... showed up two days later.
Sultry and Jack were digging their way through the first cabinet of firearms. Sultry was writing, Jack was digging. In two days, one cabinet was all they had accomplished.
Sultry was writing because she watched Jack start a list and was horrified. "Give me that! You won't be able to tell me what's in that box tomorrow ... if you try to read it from the list. Jack, where did you go to school?"
"Same place you did, Big Rock, EL and Grundy High."
"Didn't they teach penmanship?"
"They tried."
"They failed," she snickered.
"So did I."
There was the growling sound of lugging engines.
"Hey, somebody's coming."
"Great idea!" Jack grabbed her by the hand.
"No wonder we haven't gotten through the first box..." but she grinned and grabbed right back.
They were up the stairs, neither one of them had much clothing to remove. In the hall she spun and jumped and sank to the roots. They were almost in bed when the knock came at the door.
"UHU! Somebody's at the door," Jack said.
"Don't. you. dare. stop. They'll go away."
Steps off the porch and a few exclamations were faintly heard.
Sultry was past getting close and Jack was worrying her nipples with his tongue and teeth. Building ... building ... building ... they both groaned and shouted as the building shook and dust fell from the ceiling ... there were two simultaneous explosions ... Jack and Sultry ... and the Rheinmettal Flak 41.
"WHOA!"
"OH GOD, JACK! that was amazing!"
Knock knock knock "Anybody home?"
"Hello?" said Jack and Sultry.
"Major Austin and his band of merry men," said the voice. "Love your cannon!"
"We'll be down directly..."
The upstairs tub didn't have a shower, so Mr. and Mrs. Flintkote trooped down the stairs ... never expecting ... HA! But they did make it unseen ... but not un-glimpsed. They were washing up in the shower when Sultry smelled the coffee.
"Jack ... stop that ... Jack, they're in the kitchen."
"Who?"
"The Army."
"Great! Did you invite ... I guess you did ... you called."
"I wasn't expecting them so soon."
"We'll be right out!" Jack hollered.
The smell of coffee was soon overpowered by the distinctive smell of Rohr-Pulver, (diethylene glycol dinitrate), German Tube Powder, made especially for the military for use in cannon. Extremely stable it will burn but not explode.
"They fired the 88 ... Sultry ... they fired the 88! Shit!" Jack was less than decent when he burst into the kitchen. "You fired the 88!"
"Yes ... great gun," said the Major.
"You FIRED the 88!"
"Yes ... something?" asked the Major.
"What shell did you use?"
"One from the ready box on the trail," said a lieutenant.
"What angle?"
"What was it set at?"
"Oh ... Thank God!"
"What?"
"You didn't hit anything."
"Not to worry ... it was a practice round."
"Practice rounds don't go bang."
The look was priceless, jaws dropped, coffee cups already sipped spilled their contents down uniforms ... there was several extremely vulgar and obscene epitaphs repeated in various accents ... both local and elsewhere.
Enlisted men charged through unopened doors, M-16's at the ready.
"What? cried the sergeant.
"Not a blank," said the major.
The kitchen a soggy mess, they all moved to the living room
Jack said, "I hope you didn't shoot down an aircraft."
The sheriff said, "I hope so, too." He shook Jack's hand.
Sultry streaked through the living room and up the stairs.
"That's my girl," admired the sheriff.
"That's my wife!" said Jack.
"That's amazing!" said the army.
What the sheriff said dawned. "She's your daughter?"
"Yup ... couldn't do anything about it at the time ... just a deputy, engaged."
"You're my father in law?" Jack asked.
"Yup. Time to man up. She's pretty spectacular."
"Who's pretty spectacular?" said Sultry. She was coming down the stairs dressed in jeans and one of Jack's shirts. She bobbled and bounced ... nipples tracing arcs and circles with each step she took. The sun, ever one to make the best of an opportunity, picked that exact moment to shine through the stained glass skylight. Sultry was bathed in radiant color.
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