An All American Teenage Sex Life II Sophomore SeasonChapter 9
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SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 1991
I woke with excitement Sunday morning. No alarm set, just the refreshing feeling of sleeping in after being worked hard for a few days.
Well, that and the fact that I would be shooting hoops with a tall, gorgeous blond that day.
The tantalizing aroma of a beef roast in the crock pot was what got me awake. I followed my nose out to the kitchen to see it bubbling away on the counter top.
The parents had, as usual, let me have my Sunday while they headed to church with Josh.
I found the cinnamon rolls and scarfed a couple down, with an eye on that savory beef roast.
With some remorse, I discovered that I’d be missing the Bears-Giants game on TV that afternoon. The chance to get together with Jen was definitely worth it though.
Mom, Dad and Josh arrived home from church around 11 in their Sunday finery. I had taken the initiative and washed and peeled a couple of pounds of spuds.
They all changed, while I set up a big pot of boiling water.
“Thanks so much for getting the mashed potatoes going, Jake,” Mom said, then kissed me on the cheek.
“Well, I need to get it going. I have somewhere to be at 1 o’clock.”
“Oh? What’s up?”
“I was just going to go shoot some hoops with a friend,” I said absently.
“Mike? Marcus? Trent?” Mom asked.
“Uh, Jennifer, actually,” I admitted.
“Oh, well, have fun with your ‘friend,’” she winked.
I rolled my eyes and let Mom get the mashed potatoes going.
Just before noon, I piled up a plate with a tower of mashed potatoes, a healthy chunk of steaming hot roast and a big scoop of dad’s sweet corn. I made a little lake of gravy in the mashed spuds with the savory juices from the roast and sat down to an amazing meal.
Great meal, but I still gobbled it up pretty fast, then cleared my plate and sucked down the last of a second glass of milk.
“What’s your hurry, Jake?” Dad asked.
“He’s off to play basketball with Jennifer,” Mom smiled at Dad.
“Well, take it easy on her, Son,” Dad grinned.
“I gotta go.”
Summer was not quite ready to let go. It was another nice day, although the leaves were starting to turn. Big puffy clouds filled the blue afternoon sky.
I was almost late as I pulled up to the familiar home in Southwoods. It was a big brick Craftsman with a large garage behind the house, a driveway running past the side of the home.
That’s where Jen was already hoisting up shots. She was wearing white high tops, some red athletic shorts and a black tank top, her hair fluttering behind her in a long ponytail.
She smiled and held the ball against her hip as I got out of the car.
I had put on some cloth shorts and a muscle shirt. I walked up the driveway toward the hoop hanging from the front of the garage. A freethrow line, lane and even a three-point line had been crudely, but probably accurately, painted on the asphalt driveway.
“Ready to go down?” she grinned.
“Always,” I grinned lecherously.
Her eyes narrowed for a moment, then she blushed a bright red.
“You know what I meant!” she chastised me, then hurled the ball at the ground in front of my feet.
I laughed as I gathered up the ball, then dribbled it a few times to test it.
It was a well-inflated leather ball, regulation size. I could tell it was well-worn from use. The girl had probably taken countless shots with it.
I took a couple more dribbles, then took an experimental shot.
It klanged off the backboard and the hoop.
Jen dashed to grab the rebound.
“Brick!” she teased.
“It’s my first practice shot,” I complained. “Gimme that.”
Jen smirked and bounced the ball back to me.
I took two more dribbles, then tried a jumper.
“Kloing!” it bounced off the front of the hoop.
“Brick!” she teased again.
“Hey, you’ve been out here practicing for, how long? I just got here. Let me get used to your setup.”
I grabbed my own rebound before it rolled to the end of the driveway, then dribbled back up closer to the hoop and finally put one right through, barely disturbing the raggedy net.
“Swish!” I enthused.
“Thirty-three percent so far,” she slow-clapped, then gathered the ball, dribbled twice through her legs and drilled a jumper from behind me.
My eyes widened as she crossed her arms over her chest and waited for me to get the ball.
It was then that I thought I might be in over my head just a bit.
She let me take a few more shots, and I slowly got used to the slippery ball and her fiberglass backboard. It was springy for some reason, maybe from the way it was attached to the garage.
“All right, what’s the game?” I asked with a grin.
“First to twenty-one?” she offered.
I assumed we’d start with a game of Horse or Pig. She was going right for it.
“Ok,” I shrugged.
She tossed the ball to me.
“Guest gets first shot,” she grinned.
“All right,” I agreed, then dribbled to the top of the key.
She set her feet just wider than shoulder-width and gave me a focused stare with her pretty blue-green eyes.
I tossed it to her to check it. She bounced it back wordlessly.
I took a couple of slow dribbles to my right and she was on me like a tick.
My eyes widened and I turned to my right, letting her lean into my left side as she tried to reach around me to get at the ball.
I knew instantly that I had to change my strategy. I had to use my backside.
I used a technique Beast would always employ against me and simply thrust my backside out a bit and dribbled her back closer to the hoop.
I could tell this was instantly frustrating to her as she groaned and put a palm my hip, keeping me from making a quick turn to the hoop.
I got into the lane and made a quick fake to the right, then turned left to face the hoop and jumped to make the shot.
Jen was just a moment too late with a swat at my shot as it sailed over her outstretched hand.
It didn’t matter, as the shot klanked harmlessly off the hoop and upward before it fell. Jen was cat-like fast as she put herself between me and the ball and scooped up the rebound.
“Brick!” she teased musically as she dribbled up to the top of the key.
I followed her up there and she tossed the ball at my chest. Hard.
“Check it!” she challenged me.
I gave her a little smile and bounced it back softly to her.
Her eyes narrowed again and she made one quick step to the left before spinning right and nearly around me as she dribbled out of my reach, then dead-legged me with a crossover dribble that I pounced on.
That’s when she jumped high and arced a shot over me. I could only watch helplessly as it brushed through the net.
“Swish! Two-nothing,” she teased with a fist pump, chuckling as she moved to the key to take up defense.
I tracked down the ball and dribbled back up to the top of the key.
“Check, please,” I joked, tossing the ball to her.
She narrowed her eyes again and she set her jaw. She bounced the ball back and set her feet, waiting tensely for me to make a move. This girl was not messing around.
“Are we counting threes?” I asked offhandedly.
“Think you can hit one?” she grinned.
“Maybe,” I shrugged, then took a quick step back, faked a shot, then dribbled like mad to get around her to the right.
She swore at me as I slipped around her and jumped up for an easy layup.
“Two-two,” I grinned, letting the ball bounce off the garage door.
She growled at me and tracked it down while I waited for her.
“I’m not even a basketball player,” I teased her as she checked the ball to me.
“Oh, I can tell,” she grinned.
“How so?” I asked.
“Well for one,” she said, starting to dribble at me with an intense focus. “You can’t dribble left-handed.”
“Yes I can,” I complained.
“Not like this,” she said, crossing over with a dribble between her legs. She sprinted left and around me, dribbling the ball in her left hand as I struggled to get back in front of her.
I crossed back in front of her with a hand in her face but she took a step back and very deliberately took a fadeaway shot with her left hand.
“Swish!” she teased, pointing her left hand at me as she scrambled back to defend.
I picked up the ball and slowly dribbled back down court.
“Four-two,” she smiled sweetly, in contrast with the intense focus she’d just shown.
“You never said if we’re counting threes or not?” I complained as she checked the ball to me.
Her intense stare returned and she narrowed her eyes at my hips.
“That’s not going to work twice.”
“No?” I teased, then took a quick step back and hoisted up a gorgeous uncontested shot that banked off the backboard and through the hoop.
“Three, baby!” I cheered.
“We’re not counting three-pointers,” she said flatly.
“Why not?” I complained.
“You don’t want that,” she cautioned.
“How do you know?” I asked, checking her the ball.
“Because I’m better outside the arc,” she shrugged, then jumped up and drained a long three-pointer right in my face.
“Seven-five,” she said flatly as the ball bounced off the garage door and rolled toward me. “If we’re counting threes.”
She laughed and reached out to lift my chin as my mouth continued to hang open.
“You would be decent if you practiced and played,” she teased, then spun her long ponytail in my face.
It was my turn to narrow my focus. She checked the ball to me and I started an immediate dribble to my right, practically stiff-arming her with a palm to her hip.
“Don’t charge,” she giggled as I sped around her and laid up another easy shot. Problem was, it rolled out of the hoop and Jen was quick to snatch it up and head to the three-point line.
I checked the ball for her and her intense focus returned. She took a quick inside step, then backed off. By the time I was able to recover, the tall girl was already making her shot. It klanged inside the hoop but went through.
“Is that ten-five?” she asked as she blew on her fingertips theatrically.
“Yeah. Check it,” I said, trying to hide my simmering frustration.
Jen set up to my right, daring me to dribble left. I took her challenge and crossed over, dribbling with my left hand as I raced to the hoop.
I discovered the problem with that strategy quickly. I was dribbling well enough left-handed, but there was no way I was going to get a shot off with that way. I had to switch over to my right.
That’s when she saw her opportunity to snatch the ball from me. She practically punched it out of my hands on the switchover. The ball bounced off my foot and into her hands as she chuckled and dribbled away with her prize.
“Foul!” I complained.
“Foul?” she challenged me, putting the ball against her hip. “That was all ball.”
My complaint was really just an attempt to get a break. That worked. She waited for me to check the ball.
Time to get serious.
I tossed the ball back to her and that laser focus returned. She head-faked me to the left, then spun and pushed her backside out at me, backing me toward the hoop just as I had.
I kept a palm on her hip and didn’t mind the close contact at all. That touch was another reminder of what a powerful body she had. She was very strong, especially in the lower body and she was working me back to the hoop.
She paused for a moment, looking at me out of the corner of her eye, then shoved her backside into my hip and spun with a quick jumper.
I should have been able to block her, but the hard contact knocked my footing away. I watched another shot sail over my head and bounce off the board and through the hoop. She’d just put a “big man” move on me.
“Twelve-five,” she teased in a high voice, her ponytail bouncing behind her and mocking me as she practically pranced back to defend.
I sighed and carried the ball back to the top of the key. Chances for victory were getting slim.
I tossed her the ball and she bounced it back with a smile. I knew I needed a distraction.
I dribbled to the right and she was all over me again, a hand on my hip and another reaching for the ball.
I leaned into her with my weight, keeping the ball out of her reach with my longer arm.
“You like being all over me, don’t you?” I teased in a near whisper.
“I’m just better at basketball than you,” she huffed.
“You might be,” I reasoned quitely. “But you just want to get physical with me. You can’t keep your hands off me.”
“I can too,” she slowed, putting her fists on her hips.
That was the opening I needed. I broke right with my left arm across her body and charged to the hoop. She was too late to reach me as I leaped up and popped the ball against the springy backboard for an easy layup. I even slapped the rim of the hoop for good measure.
“Is that twelve-seven?” I grinned.
“You play dirty,” she complained, but couldn’t mask a shy grin.
“Win if you can. Lose if you must. But always, always CHEAT!” I laughed.
Jen was unimpressed and checked the ball to me with a hard bounce.
I tossed it back to her and set my feet.
She started dribbling with her right hand, crossed over to her left, then spun to put her backside into me. I kept a hand at the small of her back, well, a little lower, as she drove me slowly backwards, reaching at the ball with the other.
That was her opening, and she spun to her left and jumped over me just as I tried to recover from the lunge.
“Klange!” Her first miss of the game sailed straight back up. We both hustled to the board as the ball made an almost impossible second bounce off hoop and shot right toward Jen. She never paused as she caught her own rebound and smoothly laid it up over my outstretched hands with a left hand finger roll.
The ball rolled lazily around the hoop and in. Jen was damn good at basketball.
She didn’t back off one time after that. I somehow managed to get to eleven points before she closed out twenty-one with a fist pump and a girly growl.
We were both hot and sweaty and I’m certain she was turned on. I was doing my best to keep an insistent erection at bay.
She smirked at me mercilessly after beating me.
“I told you I’m not a basketball player,” I shrugged.
“You sure aren’t,” she teased. “But with practice, you’d almost be as good as me.”
“Pfffft!” I laughed.
“Wanna come inside for something to drink?”
“Sure,” I shrugged.
Jen led me in the back door to the kitchen. She opened the fridge.
“Orange juice? Apple juice? Gatorade?”
“Gatorade, please.”
She took a big plastic jug of yellow Gatorade out of the fridge and grabbed a glass for each of us.
We both sucked down the life-giving liquid, gasping for breath.
“Did I wear you out?” she teased.
“Not even close,” I huffed confidently.
“Wanna cookie?” she asked, pulling the lid off a see-through cookie jar. There were chocolate chip cookies nearly filling it.
“Of course,” I enthused.
She handed me a cookie and broke one in half for herself. She gobbled hers up as fast as I did.
It wasn’t quite warm, but it was soft and delicious.
“I see Jake is here,” Jen’s mom walked into the kitchen.
“Hi Mrs. Fox,” I greeted her.
“You know you can call me Glenda,” she chided me.
“Great cookies, Glenda” I smiled.
“Oh, Jennifer made those,” she corrected me.
Jen just grinned, a little fresh chocolate staining one of her incisors.
“Did you take it easy on her out there?” Glenda asked.
“Ha!” Jen laughed. “I whipped him!”
I shrugged helplessly. “Basketball is not my game.”
“No kidding,” Jen teased.
“Jennifer!” Glenda scolded her lightly. “Be nice to your guest. Even if you did beat him,” she smirked.
“Yeah, yeah,” I complained. I knew I wasn’t going to hear the end of this any time soon.
“Wanna see the house?” Jen asked.
“Sure,” I agreed.
Jen put both glasses in the sink and put the big jug of Gatorade back in the fridge. She grabbed each of us another cookie to munch on, then sealed up the cookie jar.
She took me into the living room where her Dad was watching a football game. It was Bears vs. Giants.
“Hi there Jake,” he stood up and offered a hand.
Hi, Mr. Fox,” I shook his hand firmly. “What’s the score?”
“Bears are up thirteen-ten.”
“Yes!” I enthused.
“Bears fan?” he asked.
“Bear down!” I confirmed.
“Oh, I’m waiting on the Chiefs-Broncos game.”
“Go Broncos,” I grinned.
“Go Chiefs!” Jen punched me lightly in the arm.
Bill sat back down to watch the game. Jen showed me the entryway, main floor bathroom and where her parents’ room was. It was a fairly open layout with a nice dining room just off the living room and kitchen.
“My room is upstairs,” she said, leading me up the stairway.
“Jen?” Bill called out to his daughter as we started going up the stairs.
“What?” she paused.
“Keep your door open, please.”
“Ugh, we’re just friends, Dad!”
“If you say so,” he said with a touch of amusement.
A wry grin crossed my face and Jen gave me a disapproving look and shook her head in embarrassment.
Jen bounced briskly up the stairs, proving a nice view for me as I followed.
The stairs led up to a short hallway. A gabled window above the stairs provided plenty of light to the hallway and stairs. The bathroom door was open at the end of the hallway and a door to a bedroom on the left was open as well.
Jen led me into her room, which was large, but gave up some space to the slope of the roof. The head of her bed was up against the hallway wall and faced a small desk that sat in front of a big gabled window, bringing in a nice amount of light as well.
A couple of bookcases were loaded with sports trophies, plaques, medals and signed softballs. She’d decorated the walls, and even the sloped ceiling, with dozens of posters. Chiefs, Royals and the Olympic Softball team covered one wall. I’d have thought this was a boy’s room other than the New Kids on the Block poster on the slant of the ceiling near the window.
I wrinkled my nose at that.
“New Kids, really?” I made a face.
She shrugged. “They’re adorable.”
“They’re all shorter than you,” I said flatly, then looked around more.
A plain blue comforter neatly covered her double bed, and it was pretty tidy all around, other than a few pieces of loose sports equipment.
Something caught my eye on her desk.
A piece of paper had been worn thin from pencil drawings and an eraser. It looked like rudimentary designs for a Jake Parker Racing T-shirt.
“What’s this?” I asked, grabbing the piece of paper.
“That’s not ready yet,” she said quickly, grabbing it from me. She put it back on her desk.
“T-shirt design?”
“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it.”
I can get you a picture of the car, if that helps,” I offered.
“Yeah, all your sponsors too,” she enthused.
“Hopefully we keep them all for next year,” I said.
“I was looking at a lot of the T-shirts at the races while we there. I got some ideas,” she nodded.
It got awkwardly silent for a moment before Jen rescued the conversation.
“So this is my room,” she shrugged.
“Tidy,” I complimented her.
“Well, I knew you were coming,” she grinned.
“And baked cookies?” I smiled.
She blushed a bit at me.
“You always tidy up and bake cookies for your friends?” I teased.
“You’re only the second ‘friend’ to come by,” she said, trying to distract me.
“The other being?”
“Lea’s been over here,” she said flatly.
“Bake cookies for her, did you?”
“I do bake sometimes,” she said defensively.
“Well, you did just fine,” I complimented her.
“Thank you,” she smiled. “Now, be nice if you want to be invited back.”
“I am being nice. I only tease people I like.”
Her eyes widened. “Yoooouuuu like me,” she said in a sing-song voice.
“Yeah, I’ve told you that,” I said defensively.
Jen cast her eyes down, then stepped in front of me and put her hands on my arms.
“Give me time,” she said softly. “Be patient.”
“I’m trying. It’s not easy,” I shook my head.
“I know. Just be patient.”
“Is time the only thing holding you back?” I asked. “Am I wasting my time?”
“No,” she said softly.
“So you like me too?”
Jen nodded shyly.
“Then do something about it,” I grinned.
She slid her hands down my arms and took both of my hands in hers.
“I am. I’m trying to figure out what to do about it.”
“Seems like an obvious choice,” I grinned.
“It’s not,” she said quietly. “But just remember, it’s not you. It’s me.”
“OK,” I nodded.
We were both reflective for a moment and realized we were still holding both hands.
“So, did you bring any of your baseball gear?” Jen asked.
“Uh, no. Why?”
“You’re a catcher, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Perfect. I pitch. You catch.”
I let the obvious double entendre pass and agreed.
Back in the living room, the Bears were down 17-13, much to my dismay.
We headed back out to the garage, where Jen grabbed a bucket of softballs and her glove.
“Here’s Dad’s mask and mitt.”
“No chest protector?”
“Dad never uses one,” she smirked.
“I don’t have a cup either,” I said nervously.
“Don’t miss then,” she said a little too brightly for my taste. “You can sit on the bucket.”
She pointed me to a well-worn spot in front of the wooden fence. It was already peppered with dents and marks from missed pitches. That wasn’t making me feel any better about it.
Jen set up a short distance away.
“Play some light catch first.”
I kept the mask off as we tossed a few easy balls back and forth. She was skilled in this as well, I could see.
She backed up a few steps and started some underhand tosses; the ball rising up to hit me in the mitt.
She took a few more steps back and motioned for me to sit down.
She scratched her feet around another well-worn area and set her right foot slightly in front of her left. Jen took a breath, shook out her arms, then brought her left leg forward and exploded off her right foot. Her arm windmilled and her wrist brushed against her hip and outer thigh as she tossed a fastball right at me.
The pitch came hard, fast and just to my right. I reached out for it at the last moment as it started to drop and gloved it, dust popping off the leather as her pitch slammed into the mitt.
My eyes widened. I’d never handled a softball pitch before. The ball was larger, heavier and carried more velocity. Though not coming at me as fast, it came with more torque behind it.
“You might want to put that mask on,” she smiled, holding her glove up for me.
I tossed the ball back, overhand, and settled in on the bucket. She had dumped out a pile of balls at her side, so I figured I’d let the rest pile up behind me.
I pulled the mask down and waited for another pitch.
She set her feet again, ball cradled in her hand at her side, then stepped forward with her left foot and powered forward with her right, her arm windmilling the ball around and forward at my face.
I watched the ball arc up slightly and then flatten out to pop into my mit at chin level.
“At my face, really?” I chastised.
“That’s my aiming point,” she shrugged, as I dropped the ball behind me in irritation.
She loaded up and fired another one that was heading for the ground in front of me. I jumped out of the way and it bounced up and slammed into the top of the plastic bucket with a loud bang.
That was mere inches from where my nuts had just been.
Jen covered her mouth as she laughed at me.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you did that on purpose.”
“Nah, it just got away from me. But you should have seen your face.”
“No cup!” I complained, pointing down.
I hastily put the bucket back in place and sat down.
Jen was still giggling, then tried to regain her composure.
“You sure you’re a catcher?”
“OK!” I slapped the mitt down on the ground. “You can beat me at basketball, you can throw softballs at MY balls, but you aren’t gonna insult me,” I said angrily.
“Alright! Alright! I’m sorry,” she said holding her hands up and walking toward me.
“Give me a bat and I’ll show you what I think of your pitches.”
“Calm down,” she tried to soothe me. “I didn’t mean to insult you.”
I stood there fuming until she reached me.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly, biting her lip. “Do you forgive me?”
I dropped my shoulders and got over it pretty quickly.
“Yeah. Sorry I got mad at you.”
“Wanna catch a few more?”
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“Where you’re aiming,” I smiled.
“I’ll try my best,” she shrugged.
“It’s OK,” I said flatly as she walked back to grab another softball. “If you hit me in the wrong spot, I’m going to insist that you kiss and make it all better.”
She stopped and flashed a look back at me, shook her head and rolled her eyes.
She fired a few buckets of balls at me. She didn’t miss many more, and mercifully didn’t hit me in the crotch.
“Worn out yet?”
“I could go longer,” I shrugged.
“I don’t wanna wear my arm out,” she said.
“So then you’re worn out?” I grinned.
“I suppose,” she huffed.
“I’ll take one win today then,” I added ruefully.
“See ya tomorrow then?”
“Yeah, thanks for asking me to come over.”
“Thanks for coming,” she beamed.
We sort of stood there awkwardly for a moment before I gave her a wry grin and turned down the driveway.
“Bye, Jen.”
“Bye, Jake.”
I slipped into the Mustang and fired it up, glancing at Jen as she practically danced her way back to the house.
Still not my girlfriend, but oh so close.
I got a pleasant surprise when I got home. I found out my Bears had pulled off the win, even with Jim Harbaugh at quarterback.
Mikey had left a message to see what I was up to. He was always off work on Sundays and didn’t have to watch his little siblings.
I called him back and asked what was up.
“Wanna watch the late game, or play video games?”
“As long as I don’t have to shoot hoops or play catch, I’m in,” I agreed.
“Dude, what’s that mean?”
“I’ll tell you when I get there.”
“Where are your little siblings?” I asked.
“At Grandma and Grandpa’s,” Mikey said offhandedly. “I’m just enjoying a day of peace.”
Mikey held out a Nintendo controller for me and I sat down on the couch next to him and we enjoyed some much-needed video game therapy.
Mikey took the first game of Play Action Football, but I took him down in the next two.
Hardly a word passed between us as we fought pixel to pixel, and it was nice to have a respite from everything else weighing heavy on my mind.
I took my cue to leave when Mikey’s grandparents brought his little brother and sister back, just before supper time.
As soon as I got home, Mom sent me back out to fire up the grill. She had boiled some bratwursts in beer and they were ready for the flames. Once the grill was hot, she brought out the pan of brats and had me man the grill.
“Don’t burn them!” she teased.
I kept a close eye on the sizzling brats and Lonesome George kept a close eye on me, licking his lips as he waited for me to drop one or just take pity on him and give him a taste.
I scratched him behind the ears and he seemed to enjoy the consolation prize.
I brought the perfectly-seared brats back inside, and piled up a couple of them with sauerkraut and spicy mustard. Mom had whipped together some potato salad and baked beans as well.
Dad even had a beer with his.
“Early Octoberfest,” he grinned.
“The musical fruit!” Josh announced exuberantly as he took in a big bite of baked beans.
Dad and I chuckled as Mom rolled her eyes at us.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 1991
“Tell me what it takes to let you go Tell me how the pain’s supposed to go Uh, tell me how it is that you can sleep In the night Without thinkin’ you lost ev’rything that was good in your life to the toss of the dice? Tell me who’s to blame for thinkin’ twice No no no no ‘Cause I don’t wanna burn in paradise”
I slapped the snooze button on Aerosmith, then realized what day it was and reached back to turn it off entirely.
It was Homecoming Week. We had a big JV game that night, it was Spirit Week, there’d be Coronation Thursday night and the big game against County Central Friday night.
But today was Hat Day. I thought about just wearing my ubiquitous Cubs hat, but I had other thoughts.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 1991 Whatever noise Mom, Dad and Josh had made getting ready for church simply wasn’t enough to wake me from a dead slumber. I woke up with a smile on my dry mouth and a slight headache throbbing in my temples. Sundays are mine. I think I’ve mentioned that before. But I still had stuff to do. It was nearly 10 a.m. and Jen was coming over for Sunday dinner. That’s lunch for those of you who didn’t grow up on a farm. The savory smell of a simmering pot roast in a...
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 1991 “Jake, time to get up.” “Wha?” “Time to get up,” Dad gently shook my shoulder. Mercifully, he’d left the light on in the family room instead of turning my bedroom light on. The soft light wasn’t as disorienting. I sat up to glare at him for a moment, then groggily nodded and dropped my head back down on the pillow. “I need you to haul beans again.” “Kay,” I muttered. Dad chuckled one more time, but seemed to be satisfied that I would actually get up. I...
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 1991 “Jake, I need you to wake up.” “Wha?” “Jake, it’s time to wake up.” “Huh?” I complained through bleary eyes, then suddenly gasped and sat straight up in the bed in a panic. Dad took a half step back, after shaking me on the shoulder. Was last night a dream? Was the whole day a dream? “What day is it?” I asked Dad desperately. He chuckled. “It’s Saturday morning, son.” My eyes started to get used to the harsh light of the lamp on my nightstand and I caught...
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 1991 Little drops of perspiration gathered in the lovely valley of her spine where her back joined the round globes of her sexy little ass. She sighed in pleasure as she slowly ground her hips back and forth atop me, my throbbing cock trapped deep inside her hot, wet folds. I admired the two little dimples at the base of her lower back, and slid my hands over her hips, placing a thumb pad over both of those indentations in her nearly-flawless skin. Her skin was hot to...
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 4, 1991 Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” is a hell of a way to wake up in the morning. I slapped the snooze button on my clock radio, almost instantly regretting it. Of course, that radio was hardly a stereo, so the sound quality suffered immensely. I loved the song, but it was getting constant radio play in early September. Of course, I had a bootleg copy of the cassette tape so I knew there were many more songs on the album that were just as good. I became more aware of my...
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 1991 “And homegrown and down-home, that makes one Cookin’ up that old time, long lost recipe for me, woh It’s gettin’ hard to find Guess it ain’t hip enough now You take an average guy, he can’t identify, uh And there’s a short supply of her fine, fine stuff Lemme get on, lemme get on, lemme get on some of that Shake it up, bake it up nice, uh Lemme get on, lemme get on, lemme get on all that I so love my baby’s poundcake.” Van Halen was so much better with Sammy...
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 1991 Seven days of kisses and bliss. Jen got her kiss every day for a seventh day. Every time I saw her or thought about her, the butterflies were there. We held hands in the hallways and word around school was that we were the hot couple. The upperclassmen had accepted and welcomed me with open arms. If I’d been placed on the varsity team at the start of the season, I’d have likely faced some hazing. As it was, saving the big game and showing them I belonged put...
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 1991 “What’s on your mind,” I asked as I closed my car door carefully. Jen seemed to stiffen and forced herself to turn towards me in her seat so that she couldn’t avoid looking at me. “What I said about the dance wasn’t entirely true.” “So you DO want to go to the dance?” I said with a lopsided grin. “I don’t know,” she said softly. “Let me finish.” “OK,” I replied, letting her continue. “I have gone to a dance before. It was, it was horrible.” “Go on,” I...
SATURDAY, MAY 25, 1991 I stepped out of the shower a new man, having washed away the grime of the race shop. I was ready for a big night. I brushed my teeth, styled my hair and applied a thick coating of deodorant. I looked damn good. I got dressed and left the bathroom, heading for my room to finish up just as Beast pulled into the driveway. “Mom, I gotta go!” “Hang on a second,” mom admonished from the family room. She met me at my bedroom door. “I know it’s graduation night, so...
FRIDAY, JULY 6, 1990 Under of the guise of visiting Mikey, I took the three-mile bicycle ride to town on a sunny Friday afternoon. I set my bike in a rack at the park and waited at the swings, just as we’d agreed. The park was mostly empty, with some kids playing basketball some distance away. The pool would open soon. Not two minutes later, there she was, sauntering up to me from her open garage door. As usual, Melody looked fantastic in flip flops, short shorts and a tank top. She topped...
FRIDAY, MAY 31, 1991 Just like the school year, the summer finds a pattern. Weekends aren’t much different than weekdays, other than the rhythm of the activities. Tuesday means a baseball game. Baseball practice Wednesday and Thursday. Tutoring Tuesday through Thursday. Finding a way to get to the varsity baseball games Friday nights. Oh, and a Saturday at the race shop. The calendar says spring, but the weather and the school year say it’s summer. Summer goes from Memorial Day to Labor Day...
“So how was, ‘just bowling,’” Mikey teased, complete with air quotes, as he landed in the bus seat next to mine. I returned his jab with a bemused grin. “Fine, just fine.” His eyes searched me over, sizing me up. He raised an eyebrow and leaned in. “You got laid, didn’t you?” He accused, surprisingly quietly. “I most certainly did not,” I said in mock indignation. “And I’ll thank you not to spread such rumors, sir.” He burst into laughter, not sure if he’d guessed on the mark or not, but...
A strikeout, two walks, a single and a double. That’s how I did on a Friday night in front of a big home crowd. We played before the varsity game due to the rainout Tuesday. Mitch pitched a full game, but the game actually ended in the 6th at 12-0 on the mercy rule. Riverton was not good at baseball. Mitch had a 3-run homer in the first. There were at least two scouts at the game to watch his brother, but there was no doubt he wanted to put on a good show as well. He certainly did. I...
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 1990 I dreaded going to school Tuesday even more than I had Monday. At breakfast, mom was trying to fish for more information on what was going on between Mel and me. I wasn’t biting today. No way I would ever want mom to hear a word of the rumor going around, at least if it was just a rumor. On the bus, I had to let Mikey in on it. He hadn’t heard, which was a good sign. It took little to convince him that I didn’t know anything about it, but I was going to find out...
I walked into the freshman hallway of the school and made my way to my intended target. She was, again, talking to Lexie and facing away from me. She was filling out a set of acid washed jeans rather nicely, a pink sweater over another button down long-sleeve. This time Lexie didn’t raise her eyebrows as I approached. “Parker,” Lexie announced, suddenly surprising Deedee. “You’ll be a dear be sure to bring your home jersey for Deedee to wear tomorrow morning? I stared blankly for a moment,...
SATURDAY, JUNE 1, 1991 Time was running out before I would turn 15. Sure, it was more than a month away, but we had a lot of work to do to get the racecar ready to go. I was up early Saturday. Mom cooked a fantastic breakfast, as she’d left some bread out the night before to get crusty, then made her signature french toast with it. It’s a hell of a way to start your day, full load of sugar and all. Josh and I loaded up, and mom drove us to grandpa’s shop. Today would be a little different,...
SUNDAY, MAY 26, 1991 My Sundays are my own. Well, my Sundays are supposed to be my own. Oh well. My family actually skipped church. Mom and dad were hosting their annual Memorial Day party the next day. I had to do some cleaning up around the yard, and set up the volleyball poles and net for the party. At lunch, I got to catch some of the Indy 500 on TV. I missed the end of the race, but Rick Mears won his third Borg-Warner Trophy. Dad had plans for me in the afternoon. The weather had...
While it was true that Sundays were my own, for the most part, my Saturdays belonged to someone else. Since the racecar was in pieces and not back from the body shop, I belonged to dad for the day. Grandpa Parker was running the disc. Dad was planting, but he still had plans for me. “I’m going to have you field cultivate about 50 acres of last year’s sorghum,” dad said as he attached the old 4440 to the implement he was talking about. “Start with the end rows, then just try not to miss...
SATURDAY, JULY 13, 1991 ‘Breathe. Remember to breathe, moron.’ By mutual agreement, we decided I’d opt to go to the back of the heat race again. I needed the laps of experience before starting up front. That didn’t stop me from ripping off some fast laps in hot laps. I actually came up on a slower car in front of me, and had to back down or figure out a way to pass him on this narrow, tacky surface. I let him get a lead on me again, then tried some different lines, letting the car drift up...
FRIDAY, JULY 19, 1991 Edited by WRC264 I rumbled into Mandy’s driveway at the appointed time. This time she did let me get to the door and I did have a short and awkward talk with her parents, who were very nice. I knew them from years of being around their daughter. We’d been classmates many school years. Soon we were off to The Corner for supper and shakes, or a shake, I should say. We shared a big one. I had an extra critical eye for Allison as she served us, knowing the advice Woody...
August-September 1978 The next week flew by. On Sunday, we used my tickets and went to another baseball game. The Reds were hosting the Cubs. Tom Seaver pitched a lousy game and the Reds lost 7-1. Bethany joined us this time, because Mary wasn’t able to go. As luck would have it, the same guys were sitting behind us. “Hey, what happened to the sexy blonde?” “She couldn’t make it today, but this is another one that he’s had sex with,” Melanie said. “Melanie!” I growled. “Oh stop, Steve!”...
TUESDAY, JULY 16, 1991 “I’m learnin’ to fly ... But I ain’t got wings...” The haunting tone of Tom Petty woke me from a fitful slumber. I knew who Tom Petty was, but I didn’t really consider him a rocker until this latest album. I let the whole song play before shutting my alarm off, just as the DJ started talking about a new album coming from Metallica. I skipped the shower and put my workout clothes on. That meant a muscle shirt and cloth shorts. I picked Mikey up at his house just...
TUESDAY DECEMBER 25, 1990, CHRISTMAS DAY I hadn’t seen Mel since Friday, and while I did miss her, it was probably good for my soul. Every moment seemed tumultuous, and drama buzzed around her like bees to flowers. We did everything at full throttle, whether it was making love or just not getting along. A few days of quiet time around my family was welcomed. Our family had our traditional Christmas Eve meal of oyster soup and appetizers like ham-wrapped pickles with pineapple cream cheese,...
FRIDAY, JULY 5, 1991 “Jake, wake up. Do you have plans this morning?” “Wha?” Roused from rather pleasant dreams of pretty redheads and curvy raven-haired beauties, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes to consider the source of this rude awakening. “Dad?” “Jake, wake up!” I shook my head groggily, wondering what strenuous farm chore awaited me outside. “Yeah?” “Any plans this morning?” I guess not.” “Good,” dad grinned. “Someone from the phone company will be here sometime between now and...
FRIDAY, JUNE 28, 1991 After the playoff loss and public dumping, we skipped any kind of celebratory meal and headed home. I lugged my heavy bag of baseball gear into the house for the final time of the season. I didn’t even have time to strip and get my uniform into a soak before the phone rang. A tiny part of me wondered if Deedee had changed her mind. “Hello?” “Why didn’t you call me?” The feminine voice at the other end of the line was insistent and accusatory all at once. “I just...
FRIDAY, MAY 31, 1991 More punctual than ever, Lexie pulled the Hunter minivan down our long driveway. As the van pulled closer, I noticed Mitch was not in his usual place in the passenger bucket seat. Mandy Prentice was in his place. This was odd, but nothing was ever ordinary when Lexie was involved. As the van pulled up and I hopped in, I noticed all three girls were rocking their sunglasses. Mandy had identical aviators to both Lexie and my gorgeous girlfriend. “Ladies,” I smiled as I...
SATURDAY, JULY 6, 1991 ‘Breathe, just remember to breathe.’ The heat, the humidity. Oppressive. Harsh lights shining down on me. Mercifully, my Nomex head sock is soaking up the sweat from my head, keeping the stinging drips out of my eyes. My helmet feels a little suspiciously loose on my head, but the chinstrap is tight. All is almost silent here in the cockpit. I flip my visor up as my breathing is creating a little fog under the lense, with more than two dozen tear offs piled on...
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 1990 HOMECOMING A new week had made life all good again. We played a freshman football game Monday afternoon. I dominated at defensive end with a pair of sacks and four solo tackles. I made a nice catch at tight end for twelve yards. We won 35-6. It was our first Homecoming Week, and my friends and I were learning the traditions. Monday had been White and Blue day. We dressed accordingly. Tuesday was 70s Day, and I raided dad’s closet for a wildly-printed polyester...
Sophomore year is an interesting year for most students, in that this is their first really independent year, at least academically speaking. Not in lifestyle, of course, since that occurs freshman year. Freshman year is a huge change for the average college student. For the vast majority that are now living away from home for the first time, this is a massive culture shock. They are now treated as adults and need to learn discipline quickly. Mommy and Daddy are no longer going to be there to...
Saturday rolled around quickly, and I was thrilled to head to my grandpa’s shop with mom in the driver seat and little Josh strapped in the back. I had asked mom to let me drive, holding up my learner’s permit, but she was hesitant to let me drive with Josh in the car. “That’s some confidence you have in your future race car driver,” I grumped. “Jacob, I only have two of you. I don’t like taking chances with you both in the car.” “Alright,” I acquiesced, deciding we’d get to the shop...
SUNDAY, July 7, 1991 I saw some of Sunday before I ever got a chance to sleep. Between the extra adrenaline of racing for the first time, and a few Mountain Dews drank too late in the night, I was wired for sound. Before we finally bid goodbye to everyone at the track and brought the car back to the shop, I was directed to stop at the pit gate to pick up my winnings for the night. I was handed an envelope with $125 in it. I had finished 12th that night, the first of my racing career. I...
MONDAY, AUGUST 19, 1991 “Here we go around, ‘round, ‘round She givin’ me the run around, ‘round, ‘round, ‘round” I was up early with Van Halen, but shut my clock radio off immediately. Today would be the first day of football practice. I’d been doing this since 7th grade, but something felt very different for my sophomore year. I was taller, leaner and looking pretty ripped. I hadn’t done quite as much farm work that summer, but I was in the gym or at the running track four days a week,...
Deedee was holding my hand tightly and giving me doe eyes as we were once again on the back roads headed to my first high school party. “No one has ever done that for me,” Deedee whispered. “It was amazing,” she husked. “Done what, exactly?” I teased in a half-whisper. She bit her lip and shoved me lightly. “You know what!” she whispered with laughing eyes. “Oh,” I said in mock recognition, then leaned to whisper in her ear, my voice deepening. “Do you mean the part where I ran my tongue...
SUNDAY, JUNE 30, 1991 I leaned forward with my head in my hands, rubbing my temples. Shelby pulled some of the blanket around her shivering form. It was a warm day, but a body soaked in sweat would get chilly in the breeze. Her horses, Destiny and Doc, munched grass lazily, paying us little heed. “Why not?” I asked the prairie scene in front of me, not wanting to look her in the eye. Shelby sighed and put her hand on my shoulder. “I might have done a bad thing today,” she sighed. “I did...
I was up and at it early again Saturday morning with rather pleasant thoughts from the night before. Mom hustled me to grandpa’s shop and I went to it. Grandpa had clearly made more progress on the pit cart, with some metal cabinet doors now in place, along with a thin steel plate top. Work benches were getting cleared off and this was starting to look like a proper race shop again. Grandpa was out to help about an hour after I arrived. He ambled into the shop with a big thermos of coffee...
Deedee and I had surprises for each other Tuesday morning. I walked up to her locker just before classes started and handed her a freshly pressed gray jersey. She eagerly took it and opened her locker to hand me my white jersey. I made a show of pressing it to my nose. “How does it still smell like you?” “A girl has to have her secrets,” Deedee giggled, tapped my chin dimple and gave me a peck on the cheek before spinning off to the girl’s room to change into my jersey. “Get a room!” Mike...
FRIDAY, JUNE 7, 1991 I did something I had never done for a girl before. I wrote her some little notes. Sappy? Silly? Romantic? Maybe a little of all of the above, but Deedee was going to be gone for more than two weeks with little chance for contact, and I wanted to stay connected to her. She was a very good girlfriend, and I wanted to keep her that way. The idea was simple. I grabbed a stack of 17 Post-It notes. On the first note, I wrote: “For Deedee every day. Please peel off one note...
At the end of my college freshman year my good friend Jerod, his roommate Kyle and I decided that we were going to move off campus our sophomore year. We found a nice small house to rent not to far from the college. I was excited to spend my sophomore year off campus but was a little unsure of Jerods roommate Kyle. He seemed a little arrogant and I just didn't really hit off all that well with him. Jerod assured me it would be fine as I got to know Kyle. We got along fine but his arrogance...
The Kick Part 2 - As a Sophomore (Drew switches from Track and Cross Country to Soccer, is injured during a match, and begins to live with the consequences of his injury.) For my sophomore year I wanted to try a different sport. Like, Track and Cross Country were fun but, for Cross Country especially, they were more individual sports than team sports and I missed being part of a team where everyone depended upon everyone else if the team was to succeed. Jeff was on the soccer team...
I woke up alone, as I rolled over the clock said ten. I heard movement in my bathroom and then Tracy came out and gave me a weak smile. There will always be something between us. "Tracy..." I started, but she shut me up with a kiss. I pushed her away and smiled at her. Something wasn't quite right. We had been friends. No, that wasn't right, we were more than friends. So it was easy for me to detect her moods and I could tell something was bothering her. "What's wrong?" I...
Following the party and her introduction to the family, Padraic and Calliope settled into their own routine. They discussed the rules and in an effort to keep his baby happy Padraic compromised on a few smaller issues and Callie learned to be cared for after so many years of having to look after herself.The biggest concession came the day after the party, when they had gone to sign the contract with the amendments they had made to it. Callie had sat up on his lap and turned to him seriously,...
“The fuck was that this morning in the hallway?” Mike boomed, setting his lunch tray down to my right. “QUIET!” I seethed. “Nothing. I don’t know.” “THAT was not nothing,” Shelby added quickly from my left. I dropped my spoon back into my chili and closed my eyes. Oh yes, chili, maybe my favorite school lunch. And it seemed to taste better than usual today. Then again, maybe everything had started to taste better lately. “Look, I’m as confused as anyone. I’ve known Alexis since what,...
The rest of the week went very well, and I was in high spirits. Every other lunch period was spent either with my crew or my new girlfriend, and each side seemed to appreciate my company more. Well, other than Morgan, who was still a bitch to me. Two new things happened during the week, though. Beast asked if I’d like to go cruising with Tree and him at some point over the weekend. I had to tell him Friday was out, as I was going to the game and the opening night of races came Saturday...
We walked back inside and I quickly discovered my Sunday wasn’t over. Beast was on the line. “Parker, you wanna shoot hoops?” “Yeah, sounds good. We need a fourth?” “I supposed, who you got in mind?” “Mikey?” “Yeah, I guess I can kick his ass as easy as yours,” Beast chuckled. “I’ll call him.” “I’ll pick you both up and we’ll go to Tree’s.” “Later.” I asked mom and dad if I could go shoot hoops for the afternoon. “Be home for supper.” I could hardly think about supper. I was still...
TUESDAY, JUNE 4, 1991 I saw her for the first time on a rainy Tuesday morning. I had never seen anything like her before. But I’m getting way ahead of myself. Let’s skip back to earlier in the morning. Dad had ordered a few items for the Mustang. In particular, a few interior items he wanted fixed. He bought a headliner, new carpet and new vinyl for the both front seats. With installation, this was going to put him back nearly $400. But where to get the work done? Dad had called a brand...
JULY 4, 1991 “Happy birthday, Jake.” It was a pleasant way to wake up. No alarm had been set. I was allowed to sleep in a bit. It was mom who woke me up in a gentle way at around 9:30. But it wasn’t her words that woke me up. It was the smell of bacon in the oven. I rolled out of bed and felt the sharp sting in my lower half. ‘Fucking leg day!’ I swore to myself. We’d spent the early part of Tuesday morning on the track, running short bursts of sprints on up to a full mile run. Then...
** This story is completely fictional. Please Enjoy! Rebecca could see up her skirt as she held Amy high above her head. “Nice ass, Amy.” That got a few chuckles from her fellow cheerleaders and a blushing face from her best friend. Rebecca and the other cheerleader holding Amy up released her feet and caught her as she twirled into their arms. Amy gave a death stare to Rebecca once she got back onto her feet. Rebecca just smiled back and laughed. She always enjoyed teasing Amy since she knew...
** This story is completely fictional. Please Enjoy! Rebecca could see up her skirt as she held Amy high above her head. “Nice ass, Amy.” That got a few chuckles from her fellow cheerleaders and a blushing face from her best friend. Rebecca and the other cheerleader holding Amy up released her feet and caught her as she twirled into their arms. Amy gave a death stare to Rebecca once she got back onto her feet. Rebecca just smiled back and laughed. She always enjoyed teasing Amy since she knew...
Group Sex“Hi—I'm Matthew Dillon. You know—a championship happens due to a team effort. And here at Carlise Chevy, GMC, Jeep—our team is out for you. We got them all—Camero, Corvette, GMC trucks, and my favorite, the Jeep CJ. Our award winning service department is open till 7:00 each night, Monday through Saturday. We have special financing for first time buyers, like high school and college students. Let us develop that perfect play for you, so you can score that winning touchdown, and drive home...
This story is quite outside my usual genre. It is hot, sexy and full of twists and turns. Fair warning, it is also a LONG story. Still, I hope you will enjoy it. Steffi the Sophomore Part Two I had no idea what Steffi was thinking at that moment, but I was practically terrified. Steffi and I had just gotten caught by my girlfriend while we were having sex. When I say caught, I mean CAUGHT! We were both naked on the bed in the guest room with Steffi laying spread legged on top of me...
Peggy was still playing her game of wait and see. We were running in the morning and talking, but she was not ready to commit to dating. I was starting to consider my other options. I decided that this morning I would make one last attempt. If things didn't work out, I was going to move on. I went to Peggy's house to pick her up so we could run. She was looking good in her sweats and t-shirt. Her red hair was pulled back into a pony tail. I really liked her and could not figure out what...
BEN NOVEMBER 1, 2001, SENIOR YEAR When I returned to my house, it was after midnight. All was quiet but there was a light on in my bedroom and the door was open. Great. Someone was up. I walked to the room and looked over to find my mom sitting on my bed, holding my cell phone. She first looked at me with a withering gaze and asked in a deadly quiet voice, "Where were you?" I had never, ever, once managed to lie to my mother's face. She always knew when I was hiding something. So I...
DECEMBER 31, 2001, WINTER BREAK "Ohhh, Bennn..." "Unnghhh ... Lynne..." I groaned a warning. "That's it ... Cum! Cum in me ... Spill your hot essence inside me..." "Uh, uh ... Unnghhh!" "Ohhh! I can feel it, Ben! I can feel it!" Lynne clutched my head tighter to the crook of her neck, tugging with all the might in her legs, her heels digging into my ass. I practically crushed the petite brunette to the mattress beneath me. My limbs gave out and I dropped all my weight...
The Adventures of American-man: Dreamworld By Paul G Jutras Chapter One: Doorway of Doom October 31, 3086, a historical team uncovered a weird chest with pictures carved all over the outside. Each was dressed in hiking boots, knee-high socks, too tight shorts, sleeveless shirts and pit helmets. As one of them broke open the chest a mist rose out and formed into a skull headed demon. Rays shot from it's eye socks, transforming the girls' skin to plastic. As they fell over, the...
JUNE 2001, JUNIOR YEAR "Oh, THAT's what that question was asking?" "Wait, what do you MEAN there was a question 5b?" "Ah hell, my parents are gonna kill me when that report card comes out." "Fuck it. I don't care anymore. When are you heading over to Elaine's place?" School was out. The past was past, and anything short of hacking the database or sneaking into the records office wouldn't change your test scores. So by four in the afternoon, Elaine Fukuhara and 35 of her...
South American Cock TormentAndy Douglas was eighteen even though he only looked much younger. Five seven, he had a nice balance of slim waist, good shoulders and a neat, tight butt. Plenty of sport and exercise in the open air had given him a great tan and a body with good muscular definition including a modest six-pack. The sun had also bleached his shock of naturally blonde hair. Coupled with pale blue eyes and a ready smile he looked good and attractive?and he knew it.He liked girls, but...
JANUARY 2001, JUNIOR YEAR "Oh, gawd ... oh, gawd ... fuck me, Ben! Fuck me!" Brandi looked so amazing bent over on all fours. She really did have a dynamite ass. And I felt incredibly lucky to have been the one to stick my face between her cheeks and lick her and suck her and squeeze her until she came all over my face. My face. Not Brian's. No, he was still dreaming about doing what I was doing to Brandi. And I was determined to screw my sister so well that she'd come home to me for...
You know, when you read "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" with a modern understanding of science, as a person who understands chemistry, biology, and psychology, the rational part of your mind will tell you it's not possible. That it makes for a fun story, but you could not drink a potion and transform either physically or mentally like the title character of that book. You can't change yourself like that. But the irrational part, oh it wishes you could. It looks at...