Mommy Me Series Justina Pt 2
- 3 years ago
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No Shame Taken, Just Returned Ch. 02 free porn video
No offense taken, no offense given. This is what forums should be about.
I had submitted this before, but I must have ‘fat fingered’ something, and the submission was stuck in a type of limbo. I could not fix it so I was forced to delete it and start again. Unfortunately, there were 5-6 comments that were lost in the process. Please accept my apologies.
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I am always amazed at some of the comments that I get from some of my stories. In many cases, the comments are extremely on target. What I wanted to say was read and understood. In other cases, it was less understood or did not fit what the reader wanted to read.
I understand that everyone has their own view of life. We are all allowed and should be supported for those different views. I try to go through life not thinking like others. I feel that when you ‘group think’, you sometimes miss something big.
I wanted to write a flash story. Obviously, there are a number of individuals that feel cheated in stories like this. There are calls for significant character development, a broadening of the story and more. They want things spelled out more. That is not a flash story.
A flash story is limited and highly focused. There is little story space for character development. There is little fleshing out the background story, outside what is strategically needed. I have found that this really pisses some people off. (That is the professional technical term by the way.) Sorry about that. It is part of the limitations of the form. This story was designed to be viewed from only the scene at the church. It is a story that could be expanded greatly. (I actually got it to 5 pages, but scrapped that attempt.) I chose to not do that. I have said what I wanted to say.
In this case, I wanted to write about someone who was abused and got back at the more ‘powerful’ abuser, and do it publically. The victim was not to allow the shame of homosexual rape (and the expected photos to blackmail him) from stopping him getting back.
I wanted to write about a single incident that stated or implied so much more, with significantly fewer words. This does require that the reader read more carefully. It requires more energy in reading it. Not everyone wants to have to expend energy all the time. There are times in which I have no desire to think, only to be entertained. On the other hand, I am a fan of murder mysteries (foreign and domestic). I like to see how a series of clues are put together to determine what has happened. This flash story was one of those. It may not been to your liking. That’s ok.
I have no desire to fully flesh out this story. I am currently working on the last part of my ‘Family is not about Blood’ series, Mary, the last of the spouses that was cheated upon. She was an abused wife. This will continue to take some time. Creating an honest story about an abused wife becoming a healed fully human person again takes time and effort. The story and the people in it have to be honest.
In my flash story, the off-the-screen missing wife was a person like that. There was no way I could do her justice. Instead, I used her brother as the victim turned victor.
In my life, I have personally dated two different women who were sexually abused by either their mother or their father. This was real. To this day, I can see still in my mind the pain on their faces when they told me. It happened to them more than 45 years ago. I met them over 40 years ago but the emotions are still vivid. One moved on and created a wonderful life. She made a career, married and had three wonderful mentally healthy children in a healthy marriage. The other chose to never really deal with it and from her drug abuse, died before she was 45. That was about 30 years of pain for her.
I have a difficult time accurately writing a story fully from a woman’s perspective. Even with this knowledge from these two women, I have not yet found myself to be accurate enough to meet my standards. You see, I try to understand what and how the person would think and react to things. That is why I write.
That was partially why I chose to have the victim Murphy be a man. I also chose that it not be a flaming bitch to be the main perp. Abusive husbands are more the norm. Anything that goes against them is viewed as the wife being unfaithful. That is a reason that I included this in Loving Wives. What ever category chosen, it will only partially fit. We all have our definitions on what should be where. This was my choice. I can easily see why people thought it was not correct in their eyes. Their reasoning does make sense.
I do understand that some readers may not like the flash story form. I also understand that I am probably not being as successful as I would like to. But please remember, writers generally write to say something. I have been blown away by several flash stories that distilled the essence of a possible 4 part story into a single page — and I felt that nothing was lost in the core of it. Those authors captured what they wanted to say with the minimum of potent strategic words. I am in awe of them. This is not what many people are in favor of. That is ok. We are all different.
Story Summary:
The story is about someone who was ‘brutally raped’ and starts outside of a church after services. I did this to increase the disconnected reality of the violent act on the reader. Starting at a church brought forth the incongruity of the rape by fellow church members into prime focus.
The five nameless men were served in a very organized manner, all but one with their families around them. Another set up for a religious crowd, and a family crowd at that. Bringing their children into the story hikes the revulsion of the perps.
Having two of the perps deny and two other attempt to explain something to their wives was done to show the cracks in the main perp’s defense as well as showing their fear. They gave fear, now they are publically the recipient of fear to their families, to their community, to their wealth and to their freedom.
There was a real reason I had all the perps be nameless and to have the victim to be named. You are less human without a name, which was my goal. That is how I feel about abusers and rapists. They have lost a big part of their humanity by what they have done. The main perp being a brother-in-law shows the relationship not being random, but one of being very familiar. Great knowledge of and about each other is implied.
The main perp’s father was the mayor. People with real and implied power have control and direct and indirect power over things. Without being very specific and detailed, I led the reader to understand that the old man was pulling strings and had been pulling strings.
His son was a prince, always protected. The son’s friends were his men-at-arms. Does this sound feudal? They could do all they wanted, they were never going to be touched. Why did the friends hate and sexually abuse Murphy? Because they were told to, and could, so they did. They were protected. They went with the flow. It was all fun and games. Murphy pissed off their powerful friend, their prince. Does anybody need a better reason?
Tell me you never saw anything like this before in life.
One of the ‘friends’ was a cop. I have several relatives and friends that are current and past Chicago and suburban cops. There is a lot that happens that no one really knows about, both good and bad. Cops are not totally Mother Theresa good, nor are they the scum of the earth. To say the least, they have great flexibility in many of the things they do. Having a cop in on the rape heightens the depth of the main perp’s corruption and now, our watching his fall from power.
By the way, with the initial announcement by Murphy about being raped and that medical testing should happen, he implies that all of them sexually violated him three weeks ago. He didn’t say it outright. The victim has nailed the perps once again with
out being direct. Exactly what was done to Murphy is up to the reader to imagine, or what any succeeding writer wants to say.
Murphy sent his sister and her child away from his home and further away her abusive husband. It was not enough for her to be removed from her own house, she was removed from his house to out of state. Three layers of protection. It means that her husband had some real power. Abusive husbands often will stop at nothing. I have heard this from cops and therapists talking about court sessions and family court ordered therapy cases. It is very real in the real world.
Murphy hid his sister beyond the reach of her abusive husband and what the mayor could get out of the police department. People in power can be very abusive and use the organs of government to get what they want. I had hoped that the reader would pick up on the power and depravity of the main perp and his reach.
After they are arrested and cuffed, Murphy shows up with the state police chief. With the higher law enforcement officer, this rape has been elevated beyond the control of the mayor, his son and the police chief. They have overstepped their bounds and now a higher power steps in. Legal doom is at hand for all of them.
If any one wants to flesh out this story, please feel more than free to do it. Take these ideas, make them your own. Change them if you want. Fill out the characters, create the backgrounds, and flesh it all out. Expand it to fit what you feel a story should be. Just like architecture, there are many different styles and types of buildings. There are enough hooks in the story and plenty of talented writers out there in this forum that can make something more out of it than I wanted to do. It will be great to see how others wish to handle this. I just have no desire to develop this story in any other way.
Thanks,
Wieliczka.
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