Little Miss Imperfect
- 4 years ago
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June 1979
On Friday, my grandparents came to visit for dinner, so I couldn’t spend any time with my friends. I would see all of them on Sunday, and Jennifer promised to be at my house at 6:00am on Monday to say goodbye. My grandparents didn’t stay late, and I set about making phone calls to people I wouldn’t see. I spoke with Anna, Elyse, and Jennie Sanders.
Elyse was thrilled that I had called again and promised to write and said she was really looking forward to seeing me when I came back. Anna was surprised at my call, but happy to hear from me. She’d been dating but hadn’t found a guy she liked well enough to go on more than a couple of dates with. She hoped I’d be willing to see her when I came home, even if just as friends.
Jennie Sanders and I talked at length. She told me about the conversation with my mom and how she’d felt uneasy lying to her, but realized that she’d had to. I told her my mom didn’t believe us, but had more or less dropped the subject. I asked her about her honeymoon and she giggled, saying that it had definitely been worth the wait. She and Kent had barely gone outside except to go to the beach for an hour or so each day.
She asked me how things were going with Jennifer, and she asked about Elyse. I let her know that things with Jennifer were great, and that I had really hit it off with Elyse and we’d probably see each other when I got back from Sweden. She giggled. It crossed my mind that Jennie had set us up, and probably either knew or suspected I’d had sex with Elyse, but I wasn’t going to talk about that now. Jennie asked me to write to her occasionally. She also wished me a safe trip.
“And have a LOT of fun there, Steve!” she giggled.
“You think I won’t for some reason?” I chuckled.
“Not at all,” she laughed. “Not at all.”
“I had a great teacher. That little trick of kissing after a blowjob has shocked quite a few girls!”
She laughed again, and we said our goodbyes.
On Saturday morning, I woke up before the Sun and put on my swimming trunks, opened my door, and read while I waited for Stephanie to get up, which she did about thirty minutes later. We swam our laps together. She could almost keep up with me now, finishing only about half a lap behind. We got out and started walking down the hall. She quickly looked around and followed me into my room, and shut the door behind her.
I sighed. I hope she wasn’t trying to collect on her debt.
She giggled, “What’s with the sigh? You thought I was going to try to collect? I don’t have boobs yet! I just want to see you once more before you leave.”
I smiled and stripped off my suit and went and got in the shower. I quickly rinsed off, dried off, and walked back into my room. Stephanie was sitting on the edge of the bed, getting her eyes full. I simply stood and let her look.
“Impressive!” she giggled.
Just like the first time.
I had to use all my willpower to keep from having an erection. It was a losing battle, so I turned to the dresser, grabbed my underwear and quickly pulled it on, then grabbed some shorts and a t-shirt and put those on as well.
“OK, Squirt, it’s your day, what do we do?”
“First, please make me breakfast. Then I want to bike to Milford so you can take me roller skating, buy me lunch, take me for a walk, buy me ice cream, and then we can come home and play pool. After dinner, we can watch TV and talk, OK?”
“Sounds like a good plan.”
“I wish I could cuddle you, but Mom would get upset.”
I just smiled. We followed her plan with one adjustment. After lunch, I walked with her to the apartment and we sat on the couch and cuddled for about an hour. The rest of the day went as she had planned and when it was time for bed, I hugged her, kissed her on the cheek.
“I’ll miss you, Squirt.”
“I’ll miss you too, Big Brother.”
I realized that one day, not too far in the future, she and I would go to the same bed. And it would be glorious.
July 1, 1979
On Sunday, Pete and Melanie arrived with Jennifer to pick me up at 10:00am so we could head out to East Fork. Almost everyone was going to be there: Pete, Melanie, and Jennifer, of course, plus Larry, Beth, Bethany, Ralph, Janet, Sarah, Brent, Mary, Ben, Kevin, and Kim. We spent the day mostly in the water in inner-tubes. Some of the girls worked on their tans. Pete and Ben grilled hotdogs and hamburgers and we all gorged ourselves.
I confirmed with Beth that she was going to come over at 7:00am in the morning to get the computers. She was super-excited about that.
Around 4:00pm Pete, Melanie, Jennifer, and I excused ourselves. Jennifer decided to be quite clear about why we were leaving.
“I’m sorry I have to take him away from all of you, but I need to take him back to my house and fuck him silly for the last time!”
This was greeted with uproarious laughter, some applause, and silly comments of “No fair!” from Bethany, Beth, Mary, and Melanie.
Pete and Melanie dropped us at Jennifer’s house. They got out to say a final goodbye. I shook Pete’s hand and wished him well. Melanie looked at Pete, who nodded and smiled.
“Steve, I want the best kiss you can give me. Pete’s OK with it.”
I pulled her into my arms and she mashed her body against me and we kissed deeply, our tongues tangling with each other.
“I’ll miss you,” Melanie said when we broke the kiss.
“I’ll miss you, too! And for the rest of your life, those kisses only come from Pete! Do you hear me, Melanie Marie Spencer?”
“Yes, Steve!” she said brightly.
Pete had a huge grin on his face and clapped me on the back.
Jennifer led me into her house and up the stairs. We quickly undressed and got into her bed. We made slow, passionate love. It wasn’t about orgasms, but about the connection. It was about pouring our hearts and souls into the other person. It was about giving enough love to last a year. I lost track of time, but our slow pace allowed me to make love to my girlfriend for what seemed like hours. Eventually, my unspoken agreement through our connection, we created a crushing mutual orgasm that left us both gasping for air and seeing stars.
As we lay together afterwards, we both started sobbing. We just held each other and cried.
“I’ll miss you Jennifer Block.”
“I’ll miss you, Steve Adams.”
We got up, showered quickly, and then her parents and Jennifer took me home. Jennifer and I kissed softly and said we’d see each other in the morning.
I went to my room to finish packing. I had, over the course of two weeks, made piles and stacks of things. Stephanie stood at the door of my room, watching with tears in her eyes. When I was sure I had everything ready, I went to grab a snack in the kitchen. While I was sitting there, Mom called me to come to the office.
Mom shut the door to the office behind us. I had figured the lecture would come tomorrow, but I guess she decided to get a head start.
“Stephen, your behavior when you are in Sweden will be exemplary. You will not in any way disobey the Jonssons or do anything without their approval.”
“That’s kind of obvious, Mom.”
“Not for you, it’s not. You are devious and find ways to violate every rule ever made. And you trick people into covering for you, lying for you, and you con them into thinking you are something you are not.”
“Simply not true, Mom. You’re the only one who thinks that. Nobody else does.”
“Because I’m the only one who truly knows how bad you are, or is willing to admit it. But I’ve made sure that’s not a problem,” she said with a smug grin on her face.
“What did you do?” I asked apprehensively.
“I had a long talk today with Mr. and Mrs. Jonsson. They now know full well what you are. How you somehow conned YFU into accepting you, about how you are a defiant, immoral, and untrustworthy person who will disrupt their household. They know you are to be kept on a very tight leash.”
“Why would you do that?!” I asked angrily. “You’re trying to ruin my year away! You just can’t stand to lose control, can you?”
I had raised my voice, but managed to keep myself from shouting out at her.
“Don’t think I don’t know why you wanted to go to Sweden!” Mom said snidely. “You thought that you would be able to just do whatever you wanted and nobody would stop you. I did my own research. They foolishly give their teenagers too much freedom. And look what happens! They all have sex with each other! That’s the last place you need to go! And I read about their High Schools where they disrespect their teachers. It’s clear that they disrespect their parents as well.
“Between the sex and drinking and disrespect, it’s clear you wanted to go someplace where there was no control. But it’s not happening for you, young man. Fortunately, the Jonssons were understanding, and they agreed to keep you on a very tight leash. You’ll have an early curfew, you’ll need their permission to go out, and you won’t have any time to get in trouble!”
I interrupted her diatribe with one of my own.
“This is unreal!” I shouted. “I can’t believe even you would stoop to this! Are you trying to wreck what should be the best year of my life? Interfering in the exchange program? I think you’re trying to make me miserable because you don’t want to give up control. But I think it’s more than that. You’re miserable, so you insist I be miserable.
“You call me immoral? You weren’t a virgin when you married Dad. You weren’t even a virgin when you met him! What were you doing in Las Vegas when you met him? A supposedly good Catholic girl in a place like that? And you met a guy almost twenty years older than you! I bet you anything you had sex with him there. Did you even wait for the second date? Heck, was there even a first date? Or was it meet and go straight to his room?”
She slapped me hard across the face. I deserved it, really, for the way I had just spoken to her.
“Do NOT speak to me like that!”
I wasn’t going to give up, though.
“Hit a little too close to home? A little too much hypocrisy?”
“Young man, this is exactly why you need such tight control!”
“You mean because, like you, I had sex before marriage. Did Grandma know? Maybe I’ll ask her.”
“You’ll do no such thing!” Mom screeched.
I wouldn’t, but she didn’t know that.
“And why not, Mom?” I asked snidely. “Because it’s none of her business? Just like my sex life is none of your business?”
“You are too young! You are out of control! I’ve taken care of the problem. So, go, do whatever it is you were going to do tonight. Get out of here!”
“What I’m going to do now is go call Pete and ask him to drive me to Detroit. There is no way I am riding there with you.”
“You’ll do no such thing!”
“Sure I will. I’m going to find Dad right now.”
“I said you will not!” she shrieked.
“Try and stop me,” I dared as I walked out.
She didn’t follow me and I found Dad out on the back deck.
“Dad, do you know what mom did?”
“Yes. She told me this afternoon.”
“I’m not riding with her to Detroit. I’m calling Pete and asking him to take me. If that doesn’t work, I’ll ask the Blocks or Spencers. I can’t ride with her, Dad. We just had it out.”
“Had it out?”
“She told me what she had done and baited me. I foolishly pointed out her hypocrisy, and she slapped me. Then I said I’d tell Grandma about Mom’s behavior, which I would never do, by the way, and she freaked out. I pointed out that it was none of Grandma’s business any more than my sex life was her business. Dad, the ride will be impossible. I can’t do it. She’ll make it hell, and it’s possible she’ll purposefully make me miss the flight! Please let me do this.”
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September 4, 2000, Chicago, Illinois On Monday morning I went to my study to make a surreptitious call to ensure that the surprise I’d planned for Kara was still going to happen, and after confirming that it was, Jesse, Matthew, Michael, and I began preparing for the Labor Day party by getting beer and soda into coolers, getting the grill ready, setting up tables and chairs in the backyard, and ensuring the liquor cabinets were stocked while my wives and daughters worked on food prep in the...
September 1, 1987, Chicago, Illinois “I heard that you have some kind of plan to help Ed,” I said to Connie. “There’s no plan,” she replied. “A witness who saw the shopkeeper alive after Ed left came forward.” That sounded convenient, and I wondered if the witness was real or someone that Anthony had put forward to solve the problem. Certainly, the videotape was real, because I couldn’t imagine how Anthony could have faked that, but the witness? Who knew? “So is he being released? Or is...
August 17, 1997, Chicago, Illinois We finished lunch and Marissa and the younger kids went to play, but Natalie sat with the adults to talk, with coffee, tea, or soft drinks. The Sarcus were very comfortable, but the Heaths were still struggling. But, vitally, they hadn’t left and hadn’t insisted Natalie leave the group. “Can you explain how you developed this attitude and approach?” Chris asked. I nodded, “It started when I was just a bit younger than Natalie. My mom was a total control...
July 1979 — Falkenberg, Sweden On Friday, when I got back from my run, Pam was in her bra and panties again. I whistled at her, she giggled, then finished dressing. I showered, and we went to breakfast and finished up our last day. Once class was done, we were pretty much free. On Saturday, we’d have several optional activities and then on Sunday we’d head back to our host families. After dinner on Friday, I took Pam’s hand and we walked towards the river. It was quiet and peaceful, and...
July 1980, Over the North Atlantic We reached cruising altitude, and I settled back to read my book. Pam raised the armrest between us, snuggled close to me and read as well. The cabin crew offered drinks, and I had my first Coke in a year! Meal service began about an hour and a half into the flight. After the cabin crew picked up the trays and offered drinks again, they passed once more, offering headsets for the movie. Trevor and Maria took them, but Pam and I didn’t, instead we turned on...
July 8, 1997, Chicago, Illinois “Is it really that surprising?” Leah asked. “I suppose not,” I replied. “I just didn’t read too much into the kiss on the cheek.” “I didn’t think it was a good idea to kiss you on the lips with all those people around, because I had no idea who they were or what they would think. You were VERY careful with our dance, so I kind of followed your lead.” Which showed very mature thinking on her part. Both of these girls were exactly the kind of students I...
November 8, 1993, Chicago, Illinois A dark fog swirled before my eyes as I tried to take stock. My head hurt, badly. I felt something on my face and realized, dimly, it was an oxygen mask. My right hand was uncomfortable and I recognized the feeling of an IV and pulse-oximeter. My left arm ached fiercely. On my chest I felt the pads and wires of an EKG. I didn’t feel anything else wrong as I continued taking inventory. I tried to open my eyes, but the fog didn’t clear. I tried to speak, but...
August, 1983, Chicago, Illinois In the morning Anala and I ran as we had the previous time, then showered together, carefully washing each other’s bodies in an intimate but non-sexual way. After our shower we went to the kitchen and I made breakfast and we sat down to eat. “Steve, may I make a suggestion?” she asked. “Sure.” “Broaden your circle of friends. Other than me, all of you are white, nominally Christian, 20-year-old Americans. And you don’t invite me to your Sunday...
June 23, 2000, Chicago, Illinois “Steve,” Kimmy said over the intercom, “I have a Suzanne Aavik for you.” “Thanks,” I replied. “Put her through, please.” A few seconds later, Suzanne was on the line. “Hi!” she exclaimed when I greeted her. “I’m in Chicago for three weeks. Can I still run away and join the circus?” I chuckled, “You might want to find out what the circus is actually like before you join! If you’re free, you’re welcome to come to the house tomorrow or Sunday and meet the...
March 1979 Monday was back to the normal routine of school. Debbie Courtney, who lived across the street and had turned fourteen the last week in February, started flirting more with me on the bus each day. Debbie Vaughn, who lived just down the street, would turn fourteen on March 16th and invited me to her birthday party. And Donna Woody, who lived just down the street in the other direction, would turn fourteen on March 20th. She had made it clear what she wanted for her birthday, and in...
June 2, 1990, Chicago, Illinois “My office, please,” Sensei Jim said after class on Saturday. I followed him to his office and waited for him to bid me to sit. He did, and I sat in the usual chair across from him. “She has a real problem, you know that, right?” he asked. “I do. That’s why I insisted she start seeing a counselor.” “I run a huge risk having her here with that kind of temper and her violent acts.” I nodded, “I understand. May I ask what you intend to do?” “I really don’t...
February 21, 1991, Chicago, Illinois “Hi, Sweetheart!” I said, greeting Bethany at the door. “Uncle Steve!” Nicholas exclaimed. I took him from his mom and he hugged me tightly. “Is Jesse with his moms?” Bethany asked. “Yes. They won’t bring him back over tonight so you and Nicholas can surprise him in the morning.” “Perfect!” “How was the drive up?” “The same as usual. Just a bit of traffic in Northern Indiana. Otherwise, smooth sailing. It was driving the other direction that was a...
November 4, 2000, Chicago, Illinois “Good morning, Sensei,” Miyu said when Kara, the girls, and I walked into the dojo on Saturday morning. “Good morning, Miyu.” “Do you have a moment, please?” I nodded and we went to the small practice room for privacy, as Sensei Jim had a family in his office. “What can I do for you?” “I need you to meet a young man,” she said. “I think you might be taking this ‘not do anything without permission’ a bit too far!” Miyu shook her head, “No, I’m not....
May 1979 The limo dropped me at home about 9:00pm. I took my stuff to my room, stripped, and hung up the tux. The rest of the things went into the hamper. I took a shower, put on shorts and a t-shirt, and walked down the hall into my dad’s office. I saw no reason to put this off any longer. “Stephen, you need to explain yourself!” my mom demanded. “I was in Mrs. McGrath’s, well, Mrs. Sanders’ now, wedding, as I said.” “You walked her down the aisle! You’re sixteen and not even related to...
November 3, 1990, Chicago, Illinois “I still don’t understand why you told everyone to leave Katy alone last night,” Elyse said on Saturday morning. “Because we weren’t going to talk her out of it. I could tell by the way she told us. I hoped letting her sleep on it would allow her to hear what we had to say. Obviously I was wrong.” “I was surprised that she wouldn’t talk to Jennifer at all,” Kara said. “I thought Jennifer would be the one to get her to listen to reason this morning.” I...
February, 1983, Chicago, Illinois Our first joining since the previous summer was slow and sweet, trying to express our deep love for each other through the motions of our bodies. When we finished, Karin held me tight and refused to let me move off of her. “Sleep there, please,” she whispered. I kissed her once more then adjusted my pillow so that I could rest my head next to hers. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but it was what Karin wanted. The feel of her firm body under mine,...
July 3, 1996, Chicago, Illinois I blinked several times and took a breath before responding. It didn’t help. The best I could do was contain my visceral reaction at her completely out-of-line request and her wrong-headed assumptions when she had NO idea what had happened in my life the previous eight months. “What makes you think you can make that request after refusing to talk to me for nearly eight months? And equally importantly, without explaining Alexi? And without giving me the first...
August 12, 1994, Chicago, Illinois “Fuck ‘em all,” I sighed. “Especially Donald Fehr. Running to Federal Court, the NLRB, and Congress? I’m really tired of the government putting its thumb so heavily on the scale.” “Well, we’re not going to resolve that problem today,” Elyse said. “Jackie and Jeremiah want to come over.” I chuckled, “Why am I not surprised? I bet you anything he had a rough sketch done ten minutes after they hung up the phone.” “They want to discuss options. Kimmy felt...
July 1983, Milford, Ohio My drive to Ohio was filled with wild swings of emotion. After quickly driving Anala home I had set out for Milford, driving as fast as I thought I could get away with, slowing only when warned to do so by my radar detector. I’d told Nancy that I’d come straight to her house and asked her to call my dad and let him know so that Stephanie wasn’t worried. I pulled into the Blanchards’ driveway at 3:30pm, having managed to avoid any run-ins with the Indiana State Police...