Jokes And Giggles Part TwoChapter 147 free porn video

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King Arthur was in Merlin’s laboratory where the great wizard was showing him his latest creation. It was a chastity belt, except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place which made it basically useless.

“This is no good, Merlin!” the King exclaimed, “Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect my lady, the Queen, when I’m on a long quest?”

“Ah, sire, just observe,” said Merlin. He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two.

“Merlin, you are a genius!” said the grateful monarch. “Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected.”

After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon a lengthy Quest.

Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all of his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal ‘short arm’ inspection.

Sure enough, each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them, except Sir Galahad.

“Sir Galahad,” exclaimed King Arthur. “You are my one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours.”

But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless.

At Friday night services, Morris went to his friend Irving and said, “Irving, I need a favor - I’m sleeping with the rabbi’s wife. Can you hold him in temple for an hour after services for me?” Irving not very fond of the idea, but being Morris’ lifelong friend, he reluctantly agreed.

After services, he struck up a conversation with the rabbi asking him all sorts of stupid questions in an effort to keep him occupied. After some time, the wise rabbi became suspicious and asked, “Irving what are you really up to with all this?”

Irving, filled with feelings of guilt and remorse, confessed to the rabbi “I’m sorry Rabbi, my friend Morris is sleeping with your wife right now and asked me to keep you occupied.”

The wise rabbi smiled and, putting a brotherly hand on Irving’s shoulder, said “Irving I think you’d better hurry home, my wife died two years ago!”

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Jokes for children A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer; bartender says “sorry, we don’t serve food here.” Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh. What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot...

3 years ago
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Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 209

Astute (but true) Observations There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and dipshit’s. ✧ ✧ ✧ The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content. ✧ ✧ ✧ I live in my own little world, but it’s OK. Everyone knows me here. ✧ ✧ ✧ I saw a very large woman wearing a sweatshirt with “Guess” on it. I said, “Left Tackle?” ✧ ✧ ✧ I don’t do drugs. I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast. ✧ ✧ ✧ I don’t like political jokes. I’ve seen too many get...

3 years ago
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Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 579

???????????????? ???????? OldGreyDuck is digging deep for these three!!!! ???????? I went to a comedy club last Friday evening. There was a woman there telling nothing but chicken jokes. She called herself a “Comedi-hen”. ???????? ???????????????? I was stuck driving behind a car today. The license plate read: G4ND4LF/ No idea who was driving, but he wouldn’t let me pass. ???????? ???????????????? In case you didn’t know, Weddings at Nudist Camps are highly unsuitable. ???????????????? Biiguy came through again!!!! An Englishman’s wife had died. Somewhat...

2 years ago
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Jokes and GigglesChapter 883

A GREAT HUNT Shot my first turkey yesterday! Scared the shit outta everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome! Getting’ old is so much fun ... Remember: Don’t make old people mad! We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off. These are compliments of Pat W Wayyyyy back at the dawn of T.V. A man walked into an agent’s office for an audition, as he had a strong desire to be an actor. He acted, he sang, he danced, he told jokes, and did...

2 years ago
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Jokes and GigglesChapter 551

These are compliments of the web_magician More lawyer jokes... Q: How can you tell a lawyer is lying? A: Other lawyers look interested (they are gathering new material for future use). Q: Why should lawyers wear lots of sunscreen when vacationing at a beach resort? A: Because they’re used to doing all of their lying indoors. Q: What happened to the banker who went to law school? A: Now she’s a loan shark. Q: Where do vampires learn to suck blood? A: Law school. Q: How do you define...

2 years ago
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Jokes and GigglesChapter 480

The difference between oO and Oo; Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope. The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday" On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs...

3 years ago
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Jokes and GigglesChapter 511

This compliments of Pepere Quote of the day: “It’s good to see that a country that’s $20 trillion in debt and on the verge of financial collapse is spending countless millions of dollars to change pictures on money to make people, who don’t earn any money, happy.” This group is compliments of John M Irish jokes The reason there are so many Irish jokes is because the Irish have a quaint way with words. Like the Irish patient who hobbled into the Surgery waiting room. “I hope to God the...

2 years ago
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Jokes and GigglesChapter 803

For the Politically INCORRECT!! The “M” word ... by Jeff Foxworthy. Have you ever wondered why it’s OK to make jokes about Catholics, Jews, Christians, the Pope, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Hungarians, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians), the elderly, bad golfers, men/women, blacks/whites, Republicans/Democrats etc, but its insensitive to make jokes about the Muslims? Well, it’s time to level the playing field and be politically incorrect, by including our...

1 year ago
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Jokes and GigglesChapter 226

These are compliments of Mikey Very Punny... I tried to catch some fog ... I mist. When chemists die they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. A soldier that survived salt spray, mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian restaurant but I never met herbivore. I'm reading a book about...

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