Jokes And Giggles Part TwoChapter 151 free porn video

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Blonde: “What does IDK stand for?”
Brunette: “I don’t know.”
Blonde: “OMG, nobody does!”

Yo momma is so fat when she went to KFC the cashier asked, “What size bucket?” and yo momma said, “The one on the roof.”

Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn’t find the “CALL” button.

Yo momma’s so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Yo momma is so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

Q: Why can’t a blonde dial 911?
A: She can’t find the eleven

Q: How does a black girl tell if she is pregnant?
A: When she pulls the tampon out all the cotton is picked.
Q: What do you call white people running down a hill?
A: An avalanche.
Q: What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?
A: A mudslide.
Q: What do you call black people running down a hill?
A: A jail break.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a Mexican prison. They committed a crime and have been sentenced to death. The women are instructed to say when they are ready for the firing squad to shoot and kill them.

The brunette is called up. She says, “Ready, aim, tornado!” Afraid of an approaching funnel cloud, the police quickly turn around and the brunette runs away.

Once regrouped, the redhead is summoned. She says, “Ready, aim, earthquake!” Fooled again, the police quickly turn around to get cover while the redhead runs away.

Then it’s the blonde’s turn, who says, “Ready, aim, fire!”

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.

When asked if they would have sex with Bill Clinton, 86% of women in D.C. said, “Not again.”

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.

Did you hear about Monica Lewinsky becoming a Republican? The Democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.

After numerous rounds of, “We don’t know if Osama is still alive,” Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Kennedy opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message, 370HSSV-0773H. Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. Noone could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help. Within a few seconds the Marine Corps cabled back with this reply, “Tell Kennedy he’s holding the message upside down.”

George W. Bush and his VP running mate, Dick Cheney, were talking, when George W. said, “I hate all the dumb jokes people tell about me.”

Wise Old Cheney, feeling sorry for his old boss, said sage-like, “Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I’ll prove it to you.”

Cheney took George W. outside and hailed a taxi driver. “Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I’m home,” said Cheney.

The cab driver, without saying a word, drove them to Nickel Street, and when they finally got out, Cheney looked at George W. and said, “See! That guy was really stupid!”

“No kidding,” replied George W., “There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead.”

Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?
A: Senator.

Monica Lewinsky walks into the dry cleaners. The old man behind the counter is hard of hearing and doesn’t understand her request, so he says, “Come again.”

Monica responds, “No, this time it’s mustard.”

What happens when you give a politician Viagra? He gets taller.

Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone. He is now playing the whore-Monica.

The NSA: a government organization that actually listens to you!

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Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 115

Stay thanks to St John‎ for this group... Two homosexual guys were walking down the road when one looked at the other and said “You see that guy across the road?” “Wow, he’s cute!!” the other said. “Well, I had sex with that guy a couple of years back.” “No shit??” the other asked. “Not much...” replied the first. A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there’s nothing special ... we just flat out tell’ em they’re gonna die... Paddy was planning...

1 year ago
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Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 446

Not many Trump Jokes left so here is one last... ! Trump dies from the virus. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him. “I don’t know what to do,” says the Devil. “You’re on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’ve got three people here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I’ll even let YOU decide who leaves.” Trump thought that sounded pretty good so...

4 years ago
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Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 298

A history lesson from squaddie117 ‎ How lucky can we get???? It is a little-known fact that King Arthur had more knights than is usually believed. They included: Who was the devastatingly handsome, but disappointingly shallow knight? - Sir Face Who was Arthur’s best knight of all? - Sir Pass Who was the knight that is a great help to all the other knights? - Sir Port Who was the knight who got around a bit - popular at parties? - Sir Culation Who was the knight who could always be relied...

2 years ago
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Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 395

Thanks to Pedant for this one Boris Johnson goes to a little rural village and asks them what he and his government can do for the local people. “We have two major problems,” says a local official. “Firstly, we have a health center, but no doctor working there.” Boris whips out his phone and talks into it for a minute. “I have made a call to my team in Westminster,” he announces, “and we’re going to have an absolutely top-notch doctor here next week to cater to everyone’s needs! What was...

2 years ago
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Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 79

Jokes for children A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer; bartender says “sorry, we don’t serve food here.” Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh. What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot...

3 years ago
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Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 209

Astute (but true) Observations There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and dipshit’s. ✧ ✧ ✧ The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content. ✧ ✧ ✧ I live in my own little world, but it’s OK. Everyone knows me here. ✧ ✧ ✧ I saw a very large woman wearing a sweatshirt with “Guess” on it. I said, “Left Tackle?” ✧ ✧ ✧ I don’t do drugs. I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast. ✧ ✧ ✧ I don’t like political jokes. I’ve seen too many get...

3 years ago
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Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 579

???????????????? ???????? OldGreyDuck is digging deep for these three!!!! ???????? I went to a comedy club last Friday evening. There was a woman there telling nothing but chicken jokes. She called herself a “Comedi-hen”. ???????? ???????????????? I was stuck driving behind a car today. The license plate read: G4ND4LF/ No idea who was driving, but he wouldn’t let me pass. ???????? ???????????????? In case you didn’t know, Weddings at Nudist Camps are highly unsuitable. ???????????????? Biiguy came through again!!!! An Englishman’s wife had died. Somewhat...

2 years ago
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Jokes and GigglesChapter 883

A GREAT HUNT Shot my first turkey yesterday! Scared the shit outta everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome! Getting’ old is so much fun ... Remember: Don’t make old people mad! We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off. These are compliments of Pat W Wayyyyy back at the dawn of T.V. A man walked into an agent’s office for an audition, as he had a strong desire to be an actor. He acted, he sang, he danced, he told jokes, and did...

2 years ago
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Jokes and GigglesChapter 551

These are compliments of the web_magician More lawyer jokes... Q: How can you tell a lawyer is lying? A: Other lawyers look interested (they are gathering new material for future use). Q: Why should lawyers wear lots of sunscreen when vacationing at a beach resort? A: Because they’re used to doing all of their lying indoors. Q: What happened to the banker who went to law school? A: Now she’s a loan shark. Q: Where do vampires learn to suck blood? A: Law school. Q: How do you define...

2 years ago
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Jokes and GigglesChapter 480

The difference between oO and Oo; Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope. The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday" On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs...

3 years ago
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Jokes and GigglesChapter 511

This compliments of Pepere Quote of the day: “It’s good to see that a country that’s $20 trillion in debt and on the verge of financial collapse is spending countless millions of dollars to change pictures on money to make people, who don’t earn any money, happy.” This group is compliments of John M Irish jokes The reason there are so many Irish jokes is because the Irish have a quaint way with words. Like the Irish patient who hobbled into the Surgery waiting room. “I hope to God the...

2 years ago
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Jokes and GigglesChapter 803

For the Politically INCORRECT!! The “M” word ... by Jeff Foxworthy. Have you ever wondered why it’s OK to make jokes about Catholics, Jews, Christians, the Pope, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Hungarians, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians), the elderly, bad golfers, men/women, blacks/whites, Republicans/Democrats etc, but its insensitive to make jokes about the Muslims? Well, it’s time to level the playing field and be politically incorrect, by including our...

1 year ago
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Jokes and GigglesChapter 226

These are compliments of Mikey Very Punny... I tried to catch some fog ... I mist. When chemists die they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. A soldier that survived salt spray, mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian restaurant but I never met herbivore. I'm reading a book about...

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