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I had a little time to think between that meeting and the Sunday morning – enough to worry about what I was getting into. I had, as a result, given some thought to what I would do. They seemed to want a leader, but I hoped they would be content with a very relaxed style. I suggested we begin by praying and singing some songs, which we did. That relaxed everyone, I think, and I certainly felt more comfortable than I had. But we never got round to sharing our ideas that first meeting.
I had a glass goblet and an earthenware plate, red wine and a small bread roll, which I laid out on a coffee table, on a white cloth, and covered with a white napkin.
"I suggest before we do any talking, that we share in the central act of Christian worship," I began. "Does anyone have a problem with wine? With bread?" Heads were shaking all round, so I went on, "Let us, then, remember Jesus ... who, in the night before he died, took bread," I lifted the small roll, "gave thanks and broke it," I tore it in two, "and gave it to His disciples, saying, 'Take, eat. This is my body, broken for you. Do this as oft as you will, in memory of me.'"
I tore off a fragment, and handed it to Phil, on my right. "Phil, the body of Christ, for you."
When he'd eaten the bread, I handed him the plate. "Each of you, take, eat and offer the bread to your neighbour."
Eventually, the plate came back to me and Teri, nervously, handed me a fragment of bread. "J ... Jim ... th ... the b.b.body of J.J.Jesus f.f.for y.you."
I smiled at her, took and ate it, and having swallowed, lifted the goblet. "After supper, He took the cup, and blessed it, and handed it to his disciples saying, 'This is my blood, shed for you and for many. Drink this in memory of Me, and be thankful."
As before, I offered the cup to Phil, and it made its way round our little circle until it came back to Teri, then to me.
"My friends, this act has always been – or should have been – an act of unity, fellowship and friendship among Jesus' people. It is other things as well. I hope you are all comfortable with what I've just done."
The murmurs all seemed to be affirmative, so I went on. "Are you happy to do this each week? Perhaps take turns in leading?"
They were silent and, I think, a little uncomfortable, but little Yvonne spoke up. "I liked sharing the bread and wine, and I liked the way you did it, but I don't think I'd be comfortable doing anything like that. Not yet, anyway."
Again, the murmurs were affirmative. Teri spoke then. "I was really nervous when I had to give you the bread and say the words. I was afraid I'd get it wrong. But I feel much better now."
"That's a good point," I picked up. "I think it's important that anyone can speak or take part without worrying about making a mistake. If someone is offended, then a sincere apology should be enough."
"I would like to read a verse of scripture," Beth said.
"Sure!" I approved, happy that she was taking the initiative.
"When you come together, everyone has a hymn, a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. All these must be done for the strengthening of the church." She paused, and nearly everyone, including me, was nodding. "There's more in the same vein, but in essence, it seems we should all be ready to contribute in some way, being careful to listen to God and allow Him to speak through us."
"Absolutely," I confirmed. "As I said earlier, though, we need to be willing to listen to each other without judging mistakes. If anyone is uncertain about something, then they should be able to bring it up without condemnation. And we should all be slow to say something is wrong, but be willing to correct gently."
We were silent then for several minutes, until Teri spoke again. Two things ... three things ... were striking about that. Firstly, her face seemed to us to be glowing. Secondly, she was speaking with confidence far beyond anything we'd seen in her before. Thirdly, most of us thought she was speaking gibberish.
"Wo de haizimen, wo dai nimen zai yiqi." She paused, and Yvonne spoke;
"It's Chinese," she said. "She said, 'My children, I have brought you together'."
"Ni mei cì xuyao duifang, dan ruguo ni xìnren wo, xìnren duifang, ni hui zuo de hen hao."
"You each need each other, but if you trust me and trust each other, you will do well."
But then, Teri stood and started again, a flow of liquid, musical sounds that had all of us looking at each other and shaking our heads. Now, the Chinese I can reproduce, because Yvonne remembered it, but the rest? Anyway, the sounds we couldn't make out, though they sounded sort of sweet and happy, she stopped making those and began again in English. I suppose, though I can't prove it, that she was saying in English what she'd been saying in whatever language she'd been using before. Saint Paul wrote about 'tongues of men and of angels' and I believe that was what we were listening to. In English, she was sort of singing praise to God. Her face was, well, glowing. She was smiling and she lifted her hands to heaven, looking up. Now I've seen Vicars lift their hands like that, but it was a deliberate, liturgical action, sort of theatre, if you like. I've done it myself, for that matter. But anyone could see she wasn't thinking about us, that she was off in some exalted place where there was no embarrassment or timidity.
She did, eventually (I wouldn't like to say how long it took, but it was several minutes) wind down. She was pink faced and elated, looking round at us, a wide smile on her face.
"Wow! I mean ... just wow!" I was nearest, and had no time to react when she closed the distance between us, flung her arms round me, squeezed, and kissed me. "I love you!"
You might imagine I was taken aback, and didn't react immediately. She released me and worked her way round the room, embracing each of us in turn ... assuring each that, "I just love you!"
It was all so out of character for the quiet, reserved girl, that I think we must all have been frozen with shock. In fact, I'd barely got my head together by the time she got back to me and wrapped her arms around me again. She rested her head against my shoulder and sighed. "Oh, thank you, Jim. Thank you so much."
It was, I think, just a natural reflex to return the embrace and pat her back. I was, however, very aware of her slim body, the softness of her breasts pressed against my torso...
"Teri ... d'you want to tell us about it?"
Her eyes widened, and she released me and looked around. I confess, I didn't want to let her go, but I made myself do so.
"Oh, my ... you weren't there, were you? At least ... you were, and you weren't. I'm not making much sense, am I?"
"Take your time, love."
"Oh..." she paused again, "well, we were all sitting there, weren't we ... except there was Someone else there, too, standing in the centre of the room. I was thinking, 'how would I have anything to bring to a meeting?' I mean, I really wanted to be a part of things, but it's hard for me to say anything. At least..." she trailed off again. "Anyway, He came over to me and squatted down in front of me. He reached out and held my hands in His. He said..." she stopped again, looking round, and her eyes were glistening with tears. She swallowed hard and went on, "He said, 'Little Sister, I love you. Will you love Me too?' I just nodded. Then He said, 'Don't worry, I'll always give you something to say, or give you the power to do whatever is needed. Do you trust Me?' Well, it was weird, because here was a strange man, but I did trust Him. I just knew it was Jesus. So I said 'yes, Lord. I do. I will.' Then He squeezed my hands gently, and said, 'Teri, receive the Holy Spirit.' Then I felt heat, starting in my hands and spreading. I felt ... there was something growing in me and I thought I was going to explode, but I wasn't frightened. I started to speak, but I had no idea at first what I was saying. He pulled me to my feet, let go of my hands, and stepped back. I can't see Him any more, but..."
I was half aware of sighs, with several 'wows' from various people in the room.
"Teri..." Beth broke the silence that followed, "I think I'd like for you to pray for me."
Teri looked at me. I smiled and nodded. "Go on."
"You too," she said.
I shrugged, thinking I didn't have anything to contribute beyond moral support, and followed Teri the few paces across the room. We stood each side of her and laid a hand on each shoulder.
I just said, "Come, Holy Spirit."
Teri, though, began to speak in that liquid, musical language none of us recognised. Beth's eyes closed, she leaned back in her seat, and smiled. Her face relaxed ... and I realised she was asleep. I stepped back, but Teri just kept praying. After a while, she leaned down, kissed Beth's forehead, and said clearly but in a tone unlike her own, "Daughter, I love you."
She then stepped back and went to Yvonne, holding her hands out to her. I couldn't, at first, think what was odd, but then I realised, Teri's eyes were closed but she was moving with complete assurance. Yvonne took the hands extended to her and Teri began to pray again, once more in that incomprehensible tongue. Yvonne began to giggle, then chuckle, then laugh. She was still laughing when Teri released her hands, kissed her forehead and told her, "I love you."
She made her way around everyone, with differing responses; Phil, for example, began to weep. But in each case she concluded with a kiss and, "I love you."
She came to me last. As she was praying, the room and the others fell away. I was standing in an enormous space, crowded with people and exotic creatures. Myriad voices filled the air, and there was smoke, but I could breathe easily. A man – yes, He was a Man – stood beside me. You can read the apocalyptic books of the Bible, Revelation, Daniel, Ezekiel ... and what they describe approaches what I experienced, but you can't begin to grasp it until you've been there.
It would be arrogant to say I felt like Isaiah, or Paul, or one of the other Biblical greats, so I'll just say I felt totally inadequate.
"Come with Me," He said.
I could only repeat the words others have used before me. "Lord, I am not worthy."
He held up hands, showing the wounds of nails at the wrist. "I have made you worthy," He said. "Come with me. I chose you."
He led me to the beginning of a huge dais. A Voice reverberated, echoing around that huge space. There was silence. The Voice asked, "Whom may I send? Who will go for Us? Who will tend Our flock?"
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