Jokes And Giggles Part TwoChapter 345 free porn video

This is a FigCaption - special HTML5 tag for Image (like short description, you can remove it)

Thanks to Joe Smart for this group:

TAKING A WOMAN TO BED

What is the difference between girls/women aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78?

At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 -- You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!
At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???

According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 190,374 people are having sex right now, 212,130 are kissing, and... 1 Poor Person Is Reading Emails.

You Hang In There Sunshine!

✧ ✧ ✧

I THINK THIS GUY HAS IT ALL COVERED. I COULDN’T SPOT ANYTHING HE LEFT OUT.
I THINK THIS GUY HAS IT ALL COVERED. I COULDN’T SPOT ANYTHING HE LEFT OUT.

I Am the New Democratic, Conservative, or Liberal Party’s Worst Nightmare.
I am a White, Tax-Paying, Canadian Veteran, Gun-Owning Biker. That’s me!
I am a Master Mason. I work hard and long hours with my hands to earn a living.
I believe in God and the freedom of religion, but I don’t push it on others.

I ride Harley Davidson Motorcycles, and drive Canadian-made cars, and I believe in Canadian products and buy them whenever I can.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and not some governmental functionary that wants to share it with others who don’t work!

I’m in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it!

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.

My heroes are Malcolm Forbes, Bill Gates, John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and Willie G. Davidson, who makes the awesome Harley Davidson Motorcycles.

I don’t hate the rich. I don’t pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don’t waste my time watching or arguing about it.

I’ve never owned a slave, nor was I a slave. I haven’t burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks, and neither have you!

I believe if you don’t like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country!

This is Canada ... We like it the way it is and more so the way it was ... so stop trying to change it to look like Russia or China, or some other socialist country!

If you were born here and don’t like it, you’re free to move to any country that will have you.

I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you’re breaking the law, regardless of what colour you are, but not just because you happen to ride a bike.

No, I don’t mind having my face shown on my driver’s license. I think it’s good ... and yes, I’m proud that ‘ Canada ‘ is written on my money.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don’t want you deciding who should be running our government for the next four years.

I believe ‘illegal’ is illegal no matter what the lawyers think!

I believe the Canadian flag should be the only one allowed in Canada!

If this makes me a BAD Canadian, then yes, I’m a BAD Canadian.

If you are a BAD Canadian too, please forward this to everyone you know.

We want our country back!

I hope this offends all illegal aliens.

My grandfather watched as his friends died in WW I. My father watched as his friends died in WW II. So I’m standing up for the hundreds of thousands who died fighting in wars for this country, and the Canadian flag. Enough is enough.

This message needs to be viewed by every Canadian; and every Canadian needs to stand up for Canada.

We’ve bent over to appease the Canada-haters long enough.

And shame on anyone who tries to make this a racist message.

Canadians, stop giving away Your RIGHTS!

Let me make this clear! THIS IS MY COUNTRY!

This statement DOES NOT mean I’m against immigration!

YOU’RE WELCOME HERE ... IN MY COUNTRY ... welcome to come legally, but please:

1. Get a sponsor!
2. Learn the LANGUAGE, as immigrants have in the past!
3. Live by OUR rules!
4. Get a job!
5. Pay YOUR Taxes!
6. Expect No Social Security until you have earned and PAID for it!
7. NOW find a place to lay your head!

If you don’t want to forward this for fear of offending someone, then YOU’RE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

We’ve gone so far the other way ... bent over backwards not to offend anyone. Only Canadians seems to care when Canadian Citizens are being offended!

WAKE UP Canada!

If you do not Pass this on, may your fingers cramp!

Made in Canada & PROUD OF IT!

0
0

22.05.2021
17
0

Jokes and GigglesChapter 345

4 years ago
0
20
0

Nandita To Nandini

4 years ago
0
282
0

Randi s Vacation Part 3 of Randi

4 years ago
0
313
0

Same as Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Chapter 345 Videos

Andrea Standing part 2 of Andreas Stand

Andrea Standing (part 2 of Andrea's Stand) A note at the beginning. One of the problems with writing a serial story is that the author feels a need to recap what happened in the prior portions. Please go back and read part 1, "Andrew Running". It will make this a better story. Briefly Andrew at 19, abused by his father, runs away to a distant relative, Aunt Clara. Andrew goes along with a joke played by Clara's lover Marnie, and ends up as Andrea working in Marnie's luxury used car...

Andersonville 12 The Day Linda Anderson Came To Town

I slid the report into the proper file just as he walked into the room. Dennis Butz stood there wearing his three-piece suit, looking as handsome and charming as any man could. But I was not to be tamed by his charm. "Hello, Linda," he said with a friendly grin. "Judge Herns isn't in today," I replied back in a frosty tone. "I'm not here to see her." "My plane leaves in less then an hour Dennis, what do you want?" I slammed the file drawer shut and walked past him to my desk...

Arlene and JeffChapter 345

The Retreat – New Year's Eve With all the Alphas and their women gathered in the living room, Diana paced. "It's New Year's Eve. Why aren't they here? I'm beginning to get really worried." Jeff caught her hand as she walked by, pulling her onto his lap. "They said they would be here in time. We still have more than three hours before the New Year. They're both very capable young women and they have spent many hours at the Academy training for surveillance missions. They'll be...

Chanda Ki Gandi Chudai 8211 Part 2

Hum dono abhi bhi nange hi thay. Chalte chalte usne paad maari. Uski gaand mein abhi bhi haddi akti hui thi. Nadi kinare, jhadiyon ke bich usko bithaya. “Hug le saali madarchod. Kab se paad rahi jai bhosdiki.” Woh hugne lagi. Uski gaand se haddi nikal gayi. Uski garam moot ki dhaar mere pairo pe giri. “Saali maderjaat! Mere pairon pe mootegi. Saali raand muh khol,” main uske muh mein mootne laga. Lavda uske gale mein ghus kar mootne laga. Maine apni tange faila di aur wahi khade khade hugne...

BJJones the Story of My LifeChapter 345

When I walked into the meeting room I was pleasantly surprised to see the boys in carry seats on one of the tables, sound asleep. Our meeting would be a quiet one, for sure. I listened to Marcy's updated finance report. She ran some kind of program daily. Then I was surprised again when she told us that she was negotiating with another utility to take over their leasing package. This utility was a big one, compared to the other two we had under contract. Southern Power and Gas had 4000...

Maxine Stones New LifeChapter 345

I drank two cups of very strong black coffee and emptied my holding tank. I expected to be pouring drinks into it for at least a few hours. I walked across the street carrying a six pack of canned cokes. I remembered that in my locker there was an almost full bottle of some kind of Irish Whiskey. The Irish Whiskey was a gift from someone I worked with now and then. Yeah him, I walked across the street and felt an eerie feeling as I crossed over the spot where I had almost bled to death. I...

Alexander of SpartaChapter 2

Report to the King of Sparta. B.C 481 "We must conclude that there was more then one Persian ship in our waters. When one met with disaster in the storm, the other picked up survivors and as much wreckage as it could. The shield is the only piece of wreckage that signifies Persian identity. There can be no doubt that it was a spying mission or an attempt to land agents of Persia on our soil or the soil of a neighbouring state. We cannot ignore the possibility that a neighbour may actually...

Chanda Ki Gandi Chudai 8211 Part 1

Mera naam Rudra hai. Ek number ka harami aur besharam. Mera dimaag mere lavde mein hai, jo saala har waqt chudai ke liye uchalte rehta hai. Kasarati badan jo ghanto tak lavde ka saath deta hai. Waise toh bachpan se hi kaafi chudai ki hai. Lekin yeh wali sabse achi wali, ya yeh kahu ki sab se gandi wali hai. Main tab 30 saal ka tha. Shaadi hui nahi thi. Ghar mein rehta hi nahi tha. Naukri hi aisi thi ke sheher-sheher gaon-gaon bhatakna padta tha. Peshe se ek civil engineer, jiski degree paiso se...

Andrea On Her Own Part 3 of Andreas Stand

Andrea On Her Own (Part 3 of Andrea's Stand) A Note Before: If you have not read parts 1 and 2, please go back and do so. I have spent some time trying to develop the characters involved and a brief description of the plot so far will not help you much. Chapter 1: Needing More I leaned back in my chair and stretched. It had been a long hour and a half finishing the homework from my calc. class. As I stretched I felt the sweater pressing against the breast forms and glanced...

Andrew Running Part 1 of Andreas Stand

Andrew Running (part 1 of Andrea's Stand) Chapter 1: Running I called my Aunt Clara from the bus station. She didn't seem that surprised to hear from me and when I explained why I was there she told me to walk a couple of blocks to the local diner and get myself a cup of coffee. She'd pick me up in about half an hour. I sat and sipped chocolate milk and tried to eat a pastry while I glanced nervously out of the window waiting for my father to show up and force me into his...

Nandini Deshpande 8211 Part 1Introduction

This introduction story is based on true events. All the characters mentioned are above the age of 18. For personal reasons, the names of the characters have been changed. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The writer does not believe in any kind of discrimination or disrespect towards women. The story has been written for sexual satisfaction and should be held in the same regard. “Aah!” Nandini moaned as my thick member entered her...

Incest

Nandini Deshpande 8211 Part 1Introduction

This introduction story is based on true events. All the characters mentioned are above the age of 18. For personal reasons, the names of the characters have been changed. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The writer does not believe in any kind of discrimination or disrespect towards women. The story has been written for sexual satisfaction and should be held in the same regard. “Aah!” Nandini moaned as my thick member entered her...

Incest

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 274

This explains why friends forward jokes. I’ve never thought of it this way before. A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 58

What I want in a Man, Original List 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs 3. Has enough money for a nice dinner 4. Listens more than talks 5. Laughs at my jokes 6. Carries bags of groceries with ease 7. Owns at least one tie 8. Appreciates a good home-cooked...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 151

These are compliments of Fmwarmac ‎ Blonde: “What does IDK stand for?” Brunette: “I don’t know.” Blonde: “OMG, nobody does!” Yo momma is so fat when she went to KFC the cashier asked, “What size bucket?” and yo momma said, “The one on the roof.” Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn’t find the “CALL” button. Yo momma’s so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 170

Another short one from joevsr: Short One! Jokes about pole vaulters, don’t go over very well!! This group is compliments of a Friend of J & G. Jokes The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning. I said to her “If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff”. “Now why would you want me to do something like that?” she asked. “I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don’t want some other wanker using my stuff”. She...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 215

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 289

Say thanks to Pepere for this one!! In a terrible car accident, 3 nuns die at the same time. They all appear in front of the gates of Heaven to meet Saint Peter. When they arrive, Peter informs them that those who lived a life of the cloth must answer some basic questions about theology before they are permitted to enter Heaven. Each of the nuns has studied their bible well, so they don’t feel worried by this. The first nun steps forward and tells the saint that she’s ready. “Who was the...

Fernanda Peituda Safada hottest stories part2

Below a new set of real life stories about a beautiful hot Brazilian women Fernanda, nick name Peituda Safada.You can meet her at the strip-club Rota96 in Curitiba Brazil!Fernanda & Paulla entertaining a guy.I had sex 2 days ago with together another dancer from the club:An american guy wants see how 2 girls do lesbian sex.He orders us to put out all clothes, only we must wear our shoesAfter that we must kissing. He wants see how our tongue goes deep in each other mouth .We must play by...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 361

An interesting thought from Mark!! While I don’t have any jokes about rabbits ... The following has been tweeted several times but is worth another mention: As we end week 2 of lockdown, I have been thinking about Osama Bin Laden. He was stuck in his house with three wives for five years. I am beginning to wonder if he called in those Navy Seals himself. And this is what dorsetmike had to contribute: It is with great sadness that I have to mention the loss of a few further local...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 68

Valentine’s Day Jokes Dreaming of Gifts One morning Emma woke up with a start. Her husband Jim asked what was the matter, she told him, “I just had a dream that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine ‘s Day. What do you think it means?” “You’ll know tonight,” Jim said. That evening, Jim home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, Emma opened it – only to find a book entitled “The meaning of dreams”. Lots of Letters Mike walked into a post office just before...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 36

More from dorsetmike‎ many thanks to him and all who submit Jokes. An elderly married couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel... The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said: “For god’s sake! Leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish!” I opened my bedroom curtains very early this morning and to my astonishment saw a fox having a fight with a hedgehog. The...

I fucked a grandma that was my grandpas whore

There was a 70 year old grandma that moved in right next to my apartment, I was 18 at the time and my grandpa was 74. I lived with my grandpa at the time. The old grandma would come to talk to my grandpa each day, she would keep teasing him, she would flirt with him, she tried to seduce him. My grandpa ignored her at first but then he started flirting with her after a couple days. I once came out of my apartment only to see her sucking his dick outside on the porch while he was touching her...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 80

Jokes A man takes his place in the theatre, but his seat is too far from the stage. He whispers to the usher “This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I’ll give you a handsome tip”. The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. Yep. 25 cents. The usher looks at the quarter in his hand, leans over and whispers “The wife did it”. A man stood outside his house after a bitter divorce and noticed a crate of beer...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 122

Say thanks to a great supporter of J & G for these. Trump Jokes In a recent survey, 70% of Americans responded that Donald Trump becoming president has made them nervous. The other 30% said it will make them Canadians. Donald Trump has announced that now he’s president, he’s going to put a wig on the Presidential plane and call it Hair Force One. Donald Trump becoming President isn’t the first time he’s kicked a black family out of their home. I just found out Donald Trump ran...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 540

???????????????? ???????? If you are not vaccinated, I respect your choice. I am vaccinated, please respect my choice. I’m vaccinated, not to please the government but: * To not die from Covid-19. * To NOT occupy a hospital bed if I get sick. * To give our healthcare workforce a bloody break * To hug my loved ones. * To Not have to do PCR or antigen tests to go to a dance, go to a restaurant, go on vacation and many more things to come... * To love my life. * For Covid-19 to be an old memory. * To protect...

Island of Hernando Rodriguez

He watched them as they sat sipping their colorful drinks and flirting with male guests and hotel employees alike at the Garden Cloud Lounge. They were undoubtedly four sisters, all in their late twenties and thirties, and attractive. They were obviously American, and they laughed as they tried what little Spanish they knew on the young waiters. He had seen groups like this many times. Their often affluent husbands allowed them to have "Girl's Time Off" now and then. It worked out on both...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 63

Dead Penguins - I never knew this! Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica? Where do they all go? Wonder no more! It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird and lives an extremely ordered and complex life. Penguins are extremely committed to their family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with their offspring throughout the remainder of their life. If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface,...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 514

???????????????? Fofo Xuxu is to thank for this group!! Here are a few jokes. Hope you can use them. A duck walks into a bar and asks, “Got any grapes?” “No this is a bar and we don’t serve ducks, now get out of here.” Next day the duck comes back, “Got any grapes?” “No, I do not and if you come here again, I’m going to nail your feet to the floor.” Next day the duck comes back again and asks, “Got any nails?” “No.” “Got any grapes?” Everyone’s Buddy At a wedding reception I recently attended, the...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 175

Some shorty’s from Dorsetmike I bought a 12yr old scotch. His parents weren’t pleased about that. What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce? Chicken sees a salad. My boss has announced he’ll sack the employee with worst posture. I’ve a hunch it’ll be me. As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog. From a Friend of J & G. Jokes Recession beater. Wife says to husband “If you start riding that new bicycle I bought for you to work, we can get rid of...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 162

A Well Run Business Me: I was doing an overnight at a hotel away from home. I took my computer down to the bar to do some data entries. I sat down at the bar and I asked the bartender, ‘What’s the w ifi password?’ Bartender: ‘You need to buy a drink first.’ Me: ‘Okay, I’ll have a beer.’ Bartender: ‘We have Molson’s Canadian on tap.’ Me: ‘Sure. How much is that?’ Bartender: ‘$8.00.’ Me: ‘Here you are. OK now, what’s the wifi password?’ Bartender: ‘ “youneedtobuyadrinkfirst”; No spaces and...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 355

Here is an opposite point of VIEW from Dominions Son “I don’t know why people are so concerned about the corona virus. Most people know to put a piece of lime in the bottle to kill the virus.” No, no, no. Then you get corona and Lyme disease. ✧ ✧ ✧ A Few from Dorsai about his Hero!!! Here’s a few jokes with a common theme. I don’t THINK they’re duplicates. After a difficult year, President Trump decides he needs a nice break from work and, as he’s heard about this big horse race but...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 51

Compliments of Reltney McFee‎ So, once upon a time, a construction crew was working outside a convent. This was long ago, in a more delicate time, and, well, the workmen were a plain spoken lot. After a time, the Mother Superior invited the construction foreman to meet with her, so they could discuss some things. She related how the tender sensibilities of the sisters were tested by the Anglo-Saxon terms employed by the workers, and could the foreman please encourage his employees to tone...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 478

Some interesting observations from OldGreyDuck to contemplate over a few drinks this weekend. 1. Ration of an Igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi. 2. 1 millionth of a mouthwash: Microscope. 3. 2000 pounds of Chinese Soup: Won Ton. 4. The time between slipping on a peel and hitting the pavement: Bananosecond. 5. Weight a televangelist carries with god: A Billigraham. 6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knotforlong. 7. 365.25 days of drinking low...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 360

Some Thoughts from doral!!! Presidential sayings George Washington - “I cannot tell a lie.” Donald Trump - “I cannot tell the truth.” Harry Truman - “The buck stops here.” Donald Trump - “The buck is someone else’s responsibility.” Teddy Roosevelt - “Walk softly and carry a big stick.” Donald Trump - “Talk loudly but make no sense, just ramble on about things that you know nothing about and do not concern anyone at all but find someone else to blame it on because it must be the...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 516

???????????????? Important News Bulletin: from fagan8300 The Energizer Bunny has been arrested. The charge is Battery ???????????????? This one is from Durock: An 18th-century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished came to a roadside Inn with a sign that read: “George and the Dragon.” He knocked. The Innkeeper’s wife stuck her head out a window, looked him up and down and said, “we got no room for the likes of you!” “Could ye just spare some victuals then?”, he asked. The woman once again looked at his...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 172

These are from a friend of J & G: Darren marries this girl, and they go on their honeymoon. He leaves the room the first night to go down to the lobby to get a pack of cigarettes. When he gets back, his bride is lying on the bed naked fucking one of the bellhops. Another one is under her, getting her in the ass. She’s sucking off the desk clerk, and she’s jerking off a cab driver and the dishwasher. Darren screams “What the fuck are all these jerk-offs doing in here?” She says “Well,...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 320

“Allan B” If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. (Ann Landers) The other day upon the stair I saw a man who wasn’t there. He wasn’t there again today I think he’s from the CIA. The BBB (Blonde Bimbos Bureau) wishes to thank AOC for single-handedly putting an end to dumb blonde jokes. What is the most popular Country song n Iran? Sweet Home Allahbama... The female praying mantis devours her male minutes after mating, while the female human...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 115

Stay thanks to St John‎ for this group... Two homosexual guys were walking down the road when one looked at the other and said “You see that guy across the road?” “Wow, he’s cute!!” the other said. “Well, I had sex with that guy a couple of years back.” “No shit??” the other asked. “Not much...” replied the first. A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there’s nothing special ... we just flat out tell’ em they’re gonna die... Paddy was planning...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 446

Not many Trump Jokes left so here is one last... ! Trump dies from the virus. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him. “I don’t know what to do,” says the Devil. “You’re on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’ve got three people here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I’ll even let YOU decide who leaves.” Trump thought that sounded pretty good so...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 298

A history lesson from squaddie117 ‎ How lucky can we get???? It is a little-known fact that King Arthur had more knights than is usually believed. They included: Who was the devastatingly handsome, but disappointingly shallow knight? - Sir Face Who was Arthur’s best knight of all? - Sir Pass Who was the knight that is a great help to all the other knights? - Sir Port Who was the knight who got around a bit - popular at parties? - Sir Culation Who was the knight who could always be relied...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 395

Thanks to Pedant for this one Boris Johnson goes to a little rural village and asks them what he and his government can do for the local people. “We have two major problems,” says a local official. “Firstly, we have a health center, but no doctor working there.” Boris whips out his phone and talks into it for a minute. “I have made a call to my team in Westminster,” he announces, “and we’re going to have an absolutely top-notch doctor here next week to cater to everyone’s needs! What was...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 79

Jokes for children A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer; bartender says “sorry, we don’t serve food here.” Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh. What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 209

Astute (but true) Observations There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and dipshit’s. ✧ ✧ ✧ The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content. ✧ ✧ ✧ I live in my own little world, but it’s OK. Everyone knows me here. ✧ ✧ ✧ I saw a very large woman wearing a sweatshirt with “Guess” on it. I said, “Left Tackle?” ✧ ✧ ✧ I don’t do drugs. I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast. ✧ ✧ ✧ I don’t like political jokes. I’ve seen too many get...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 579

???????????????? ???????? OldGreyDuck is digging deep for these three!!!! ???????? I went to a comedy club last Friday evening. There was a woman there telling nothing but chicken jokes. She called herself a “Comedi-hen”. ???????? ???????????????? I was stuck driving behind a car today. The license plate read: G4ND4LF/ No idea who was driving, but he wouldn’t let me pass. ???????? ???????????????? In case you didn’t know, Weddings at Nudist Camps are highly unsuitable. ???????????????? Biiguy came through again!!!! An Englishman’s wife had died. Somewhat...

Jokes and GigglesChapter 883

A GREAT HUNT Shot my first turkey yesterday! Scared the shit outta everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome! Getting’ old is so much fun ... Remember: Don’t make old people mad! We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off. These are compliments of Pat W Wayyyyy back at the dawn of T.V. A man walked into an agent’s office for an audition, as he had a strong desire to be an actor. He acted, he sang, he danced, he told jokes, and did...

Jokes and GigglesChapter 551

These are compliments of the web_magician More lawyer jokes... Q: How can you tell a lawyer is lying? A: Other lawyers look interested (they are gathering new material for future use). Q: Why should lawyers wear lots of sunscreen when vacationing at a beach resort? A: Because they’re used to doing all of their lying indoors. Q: What happened to the banker who went to law school? A: Now she’s a loan shark. Q: Where do vampires learn to suck blood? A: Law school. Q: How do you define...

Jokes and GigglesChapter 480

The difference between oO and Oo; Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope. The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday" On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs...

Jokes and GigglesChapter 511

This compliments of Pepere Quote of the day: “It’s good to see that a country that’s $20 trillion in debt and on the verge of financial collapse is spending countless millions of dollars to change pictures on money to make people, who don’t earn any money, happy.” This group is compliments of John M Irish jokes The reason there are so many Irish jokes is because the Irish have a quaint way with words. Like the Irish patient who hobbled into the Surgery waiting room. “I hope to God the...

Jokes and GigglesChapter 803

For the Politically INCORRECT!! The “M” word ... by Jeff Foxworthy. Have you ever wondered why it’s OK to make jokes about Catholics, Jews, Christians, the Pope, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Hungarians, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians), the elderly, bad golfers, men/women, blacks/whites, Republicans/Democrats etc, but its insensitive to make jokes about the Muslims? Well, it’s time to level the playing field and be politically incorrect, by including our...

Jokes and GigglesChapter 226

These are compliments of Mikey Very Punny... I tried to catch some fog ... I mist. When chemists die they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. A soldier that survived salt spray, mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian restaurant but I never met herbivore. I'm reading a book about...

Andersonville 25 Dr Jensen I presume part II

I stood there in my black dress watching them slowly lower the casket into the ground. Standing next to me was my mother, who was weeping softly. Next to her was my sister Jennifer, and she seemed the saddest of us all. Perhaps she was remembering her own mother and father's funeral who had both died when she was just a young girl. On the other side of the casket I could see Crius standing next to Dennis with an impatient frown. He seemed so out of place, and the expression on...

Swami Ghoshal 8211 Anand Ka 8220Santansukh Garbha Mandir8221

Sant Ghoshal-Anand Goswami ‘pahunche huye’ siddh purush ya mahatma hn.Sundar Van ke ghane jungle me Aadiwasi basti se sata unka ‘Slddhashram’ h.swami ji vese to Raam Bhakti ki rasik shakha Sakhi Sampraday ke bhakt hn lekin vo Shiv Bhagvan ke nagn rup ke upasak bhi hn.Isi liye unke Ashram me ghuste hi ek sundar Shiva Ling sthaapit milta h. kaha jata h ki yeh ”Swaymbhu Lingam” h, arthat iska nirman kisi kaarigar ne nahin kiya, ye to uska apne aap bana prakritik rup h.ye nitya ling h. Swami ji ke...

Mandys sickest stories Mandy reloaded

Mandy's sickest stories - Mandy reloadedAuthor: SickoChickMandyAuthor's email: mandydarkfantasies [at] gmail [dot] comTags: F/f, torture, snuff, feet, nc, cannibalismProofread by EmmaPNote, that English is not my native language, so my writing will surely have many grammatical and syntax errors just as improper usage of expressions. I can only hope someone will still find it exciting. Be aware, this is graphic, brutal and extreme. I read it after writing and scared of myself.DisclaimerThis...

Candys Dandy

by Millie Dynamite Jaden and I meet a few weeks after he transferred to the Naval base just outside of town. I sat on a bar stool sipping my Pappy Van Winkle when this tall African-American man in full dress uniform sat next to me. He whore captain’s bars. He possessed an air of authority. I nodded to him when perched on the next stool. He returned my nod with his own acknowledgment, in a deep voice he said, “Yo.” He spoke without looking at me. “I’ll have bourbon, make it a shot of Evan...

Sissy Outed Brandon to Brandy

This is a story about seduction and transformation that’s written about a real-life sissy named Brandon Hippel, Brandon’s a cute little limp-wristed sissy-faggot from Abington Pennsylvania that loves to be humiliated and exposed online. She loves feminization, crossdressing, being exposed online, humiliation, anal play, degradation, being captioned, taking pictures, and talking to new people, so feel free to contact her through these various social media; Her kik is; HumiliationSlut2Her email...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 229

Say thanks to Dramoth1964‎ for this one: A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!’ so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the...

Jokes and Giggles Part TwoChapter 112

Thanks John JOKE OR ANTI-JOKE? A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200. What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus. There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending. I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that. The midget fortune...

Porn Trends