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"What are we going to do about all these men, Creamy?"
"Do about them, Captain?"
"They've all come from different ships, different navies, even. The ordinary sailors aren't a problem; we're so short-handed they'll just have to muck in as best they can. It's the officers I'm worried about. What are their names again?"
Creamy consulted her clipboard. "Smith, Jones ... and ... Mouse, Captain."
"Do you think those are their real names?"
"Does it matter, Captain?"
"I suppose not. But we've only got a couple of hours to shake down before we get within range of this Malvolian cruiser. Before I call the officers together for a final briefing, I need to work out what they're all going to be doing. Damn it, if they were women, there'd be no problem. I'm the captain for obvious reasons, and you're my second in command for even more obvious reasons. Ptarmigan - where is the woman, by the way?"
"Counting ammunition, Captain. She's good at counting things."
"She's got a what, forty-five, forty-six inch bust?"
"Forty-four. Then there's young Shagmore, forty-twos, and Clittinger, forties. A clear heirarchy. But how do we fit these three men into the structure? They're possibly more experienced than Shagmore and Clittinger, but they're completely flat-chested."
"We could look at their ... other features, Captain."
Belinda's eyes narrowed. "You mean... ? But that would only be part of the solution. We'd be able to compare them with each other, but how would they fit in with the ladies?"
"It would have to be done on averages, Captain. We know that the average bust measurement of all Brilliantine Navy officers is 38 inches. The average bra size supplied by our ships' foundation stores is 34D. Fortunately, then, our three officers are rated above average. We'll simply measure these three men and compare them with the average cock size in the navies of the world."
"How do we find that out?"
"There must be records somewhere, Captain."
"I'll leave it all to you, Creamy. I've got two hours to study the battle tactics employed at every naval battle since the days of the Phoenicians."
"Message coming in, Petal." Leading MAN Lucian Uranus said, ripping the message from the machine and handing it to his partner, MAN Felix Cummings. "Just decode it while I have a pee. My bladder's simply bursting."
"Can't I come with you?"
"You can't, silly, she's watching. Besides, you're heaps better at decoding than me."
"I shan't enjoy it," Cummings promised, pursing his lips and studying the slip of paper. With the tip of his tongue sticking out he began tapping at the keys. After a few seconds he gave a sharp little cry and half rose in his seat. He rapped the final keys really hard, stood up, and scribbled the message on his pad. Blushing deeply and chewing his full lower lip, he minced away to find Lieutenant Archibald.
"What's all this?" She read the brief note and glowered at Cummings. "Is this your weird queer idea of a joke?"
"It isn't funny, ma'am."
"You'll find out how funny it isn't when I've shown this to the admiral. Where's your friend?"
"In the loo."
"Both of you stay in here and don't dare run away. Understand?"
The admiral was looking down through the quadruple-glazed window, wiping a tear from her eye. She looked up as the door opened. "Yes, Archibald? What's this?"
"A piece of paper, Admiral. A message from Insufferable."
The admiral studied the message, turning it over to see the other side. "Is this all it says?"
"Aye-aye, ma'am."
172245ZAUG00TOP SECRET BITTER CHOCOLATE URGENT
TO CINCBNHOMEFLT
FROM F09 INSUFFERABLE
ESSENTIAL DETERMINE SOONEST AVERAGE RPT AVERAGE PENIS LENGTH ALL RPT ALL OFFICERS ALL RPT ALL WORLD NAVIES. PSE ADVISE
ENDS
"Hmmm. Not like Belinda to need to know this. 2245 Zulu? Ten minutes ago. No chance of it being a fake message, is there, Archibald? It was received in code?"
"Primrose Three, Admiral."
"I see. We'll have to assume it's genuine. Essential soonest. That means it's urgent. What's this Bitter Chocolate business?"
"No idea, Admiral."
"And what about Primrose Three?"
"Search me, Admiral."
"Good. Need to know, you know. Now, Insufferable's only got less than a couple of hours before he's in battle. So in this case Urgent means precisely that. Urgent. Get me everything you have on naval officers' penis length?"
"In our navy, ma'am?"
"Of course not, you damned fool! The navies of the world. Are there any penises in Jane's?"
"I very much doubt it, Admiral. Not while we're at WILD CHERRY. But I'll ask Jane if you insist..."
"No time. We need figures on average penis length. We'll have to generate our own data. Get on to it and let me have the figures by midnight. Zulu. Remember, Archibald, the clock's ticking!"
"Ah, Miss Ptarmigan, can you spare a moment, please?"
"Certainly ... ma'am."
"As a little change from counting the shells, I've got a job for you. It involves the three male officers we have on board. It will need a little tact and a bit of organisation, but as you're the only officer in the Insufferable who's not doing anything important, the captain says you'll have to do it."
"Yes, ma'am. I mean aye-aye, ma'am." Creamy lowered the eyebrow she had raised a second or so earlier. Ptarmigan adjusted her bra straps nervously. "What do you want me to do?"
"Measure their cocks."
"I beg your pardon?"
"We need to find how theirs compare to the average size for all officers in all the navies of the entire world. Measure them and find out, will you? I think individually would be better, to avoid taking them away from essential duties. What are they doing at the moment?"
"Smith is organising the cleaning squad, polishing up the brasswork and whitening the ropes all along the left hand side of the ship. They're in a shocking state. I nearly died when that huge crowd of people arrived just before we left port. I just know they were looking at all that dirt. Jones is doing the right hand side in case we park the other way round when we come back."
"Good, what about Mouse?"
"I saw him with a bunch of giggling seawomen tidying up the sickbay. I've no idea why, nobody's going to be sick tonight, it's calm as a millpond out there."
"Bring them in one at a time. Measure them for length and write it all down. And don't forget to ask them how they compare with the average. Bring the figures to the bridge as soon as you've finished."
"Aye-aye, ma'am."
Creamy hurried away, nodding politely to the blushing sailors who shrank away from her approach, their nipples hardening instantly with respect.
She rapped respectfully on the captain's open door. "All in hand, Captain."
"You've measured them already?"
"Ptarmigan's doing it."
"Ptarmigan? Do you think that's wise?"
"It's what she does best, counting and measuring things. She's going to bring the figures to you as soon as she's done."
"Good. I just wonder if ... if perhaps it might be better if you were to measure them as well. We don't want any slip-ups..."
"If you insist, Captain. Although it's only a quick measuring job..."
"It's all about good Order and Discipline, Creamy. When we go into battle, we want to know we have the right people in positions of trust."
"Aye-aye, Captain."
"Good work, Archibald. You finished half an hour ahead of schedule. Are these the figures?"
"All there, Admiral. A sample of ten MANs from our staff. One refused on religious grounds. But we think the ten who volunteered are a good cross section of males. Of course, none of them are officers, but that shouldn't make any difference to the size of their genitalia.
Bottomley
Brownhatter
Cummings
Everard
Jollibottom
Shorthouse
Stiffgusset
Uranus
Wrecktham
Wright-Upham
Average
2¼"
3"
5½"
2½"
4½"
5"
13¾"
3¾"
4"
4½"
The admiral studied the figures for some time. "What's the story with this Shorthouse?"
"Not long enough to measure, ma'am. My clit's longer than his cock."
"Really, Archibald?" The admiral moved on down the list. "Uranus certainly makes up for him, anyway. You'd better send him to me when this is all over. So, we can safely say that the average penis length of the human male is four and a half inches. Get that figure encoded and sent out to all ships; action Insufferable."
"Aye-aye, Admiral."
"Were you ever married, Archibald?"
"No, ma'am."
"Still waiting for Mister Right to come along?"
"Sort of, ma'am."
"Not Mister Wright-Upham, though."
"Preferably not, Admiral."
"Although they say size doesn't matter. Run along, Cynthia. You don't mind if I call you Cynthia, do you?"
"Not at all, Admiral," Lt Archibald admitted. "Cynthia's a very nice name. But my name's Cordelia."
"Just checking, Archibald. Security is vital."
"Thank you, Lieutenant Smith. You may get dressed now." The lieutenant swiftly reached for his trousers. He fervently wished he was back in his own ship. When the chance had come to return to sea, he had grasped it with both hands. The last thing he'd expected was to find himself on a ship run by women, including this forbidding harridan who had ordered him to take his pants off in the ship's office. Mercifully, she'd done nothing more than measure him, but he was ashamed and alarmed to find that he couldn't even get an erection. Six months since he'd seen a woman, and this creature with a splendid pair of firm, jutting whoppers failed completely to get a rise out of him. True, she had a face like a bag of chisels, but those massive breasts thrusting out only six inches from his face ought to have had some effect on him.
"It's usually bigger than that, you know," he ventured.
"How much bigger?" asked Ptarmigan sharply. "And why?"
"Oh, about this much," said Smith with due modesty. "And for all the usual reasons."
Ptarmigan frowned. "What are those? What on earth could possibly make flesh grow as much as that?"
"Well ... like ... a pretty girl, perhaps? Something like that?"
"A pretty girl?" Ptarmigan thought of all the pretty girls she knew. "Pretty?"
"Well, pretty. A nice face ... big breasts ... that kind of thing."
"Big breasts? How can big breasts make a penis grow?"
Smith was silent. After all, he'd just had it demonstrated clearly to him that big breasts didn't always make a penis grow.
"Mine are big," Ptarmigan persisted. "Mine didn't make it grow. Is there something wrong with it?"
There was a knock on the door. "Nearly finished, Miss Ptarmigan?" said Creamy, coming in and looking Lt Smith up and down. "Is this the last one?"
"No, he's only the first. I think there's something wrong with him."
Creamy looked at her watch. "You've really got to get a move on, Miss Ptarmigan. We need to be finished with this exercise in another twenty minutes. I'll take this one into the wardroom pantry and interview him. Captain's orders. You'd better call the others in. When you've done with them, pass them on to me. I suppose you have measured this one?"
"Aye-aye, ma'am," said Ptarmigan through gritted teeth. She handed a piece of paper to the commander, who tucked it into her shirt pocket, where her left nipple threatened to punch a one inch diameter hole in it.
"Come on, you," said Creamy to the dysfunctional lieutenant. "This won't take long." She led the way into the pantry and closed the door. "Now, what seems to be the trouble?"
"Erm ... nothing. That is, there was a problem, but it seems to have got better all by itself."
"What do you mean?"
"This." Smith indicated the bulge in his trousers.
"It's no use to anyone in there, is it, man. Get it out!"
"Ma'am?"
"Out with it." It was a direct and presumably lawful order. Smith complied. "There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with this," said Creamy. "Nothing at all."
Smith could only agree. It lay on the commander's palm, twitching and throbbing with every appearance of excellent health. She closed her fist gently and moved it up and down in a tentative way.
"Ma'am... !"
"Yes, Smith?"
"It can't stand much more of this, ma'am. It's going to blow any second now."
"You're not a chief engineer by any chance, are you?" said Creamy with a hint of a smile.
"No, ma'am. Guided missiles. Offensive ones."
"That's a pretty offensive missile you've got there, yourself, Smith!"
"This? It's only average, ma'am."
"Is it, by George?" She produced a small ruler from her top pocket. "Hmmm. Thank you. Pull your pants up."
"Aren't you going to finish what you started, ma'am?"
"Sorry?" Absently she took the thing in her hand again. "Strange, it's so hard, yet somehow it's soft at the same time. Fascinating."
"I wouldn't get too close to it, ma'am..."
"It's getting harder."
"Please, ma'am! Ma'am... ooops! Sorry, ma'am. I tried to warn you."
"Dismiss, Lieutenant. That will be all."
"Aye-aye, ma'am. You're probably right."
Creamy remembered the piece of paper and pulled it out of her shirt pocket. Frowning, she compared the figure written on it with the dimension she had recorded for herself. There was a discrepancy all right. She wrote her own number below Ptarmigan's backward-sloping pencil and added the word 'Smith' alongside before tucking the paper out of sight again. "Damn," she said, wiping at the array of sticky marks on her bodice. "This is my last clean shirt. What is this stuff, anyway?" She tasted it cautiously, then shook her head. There was a knock on the door. "Come!" she cried, wondering why the word sounded vaguely familiar.
Whereas the recent Lt Smith had been tall, dark and not altogether unhandsome, the slim and boyish figure which entered the pantry was several inches shorter than the commander. He looked up at her with apprehension. "Sub Lieutenant Jones reporting, ma'am." He handed her a folded slip of paper which Creamy opened and glanced at briefly. Her eyes widened.
"Drop your trousers, please, Mr Jones."
"Aye-aye, ma'am. Er ... ma'am?"
"Yes, Mr Jones? You haven't dropped them."
"It's ... I'm not usually like this, ma'am." And he lowered his trousers to half-mast, along with a pair of what appeared to be wild silk boxer shorts. They were certainly purple, which made a striking contrast to Jones' pale bluish white matchstick legs. Creamy's eyes widened still further.
"That's a nice average one," she said, flicking her steel ruler out of its hiding place. "Just make it hard while I measure it, will you?"
"Make ... that's what I'm trying to ... it won't go hard. This is as big as it will go."
"I can't measure it dangling down there. It gets even longer than this, doesn't it?"
"Usually, ma'am. But not today, ma'am."
Creamy glowered at the diminutive officer. He was quaking in his little shoes and his knees were actually knocking with a faint bony sound. Trying to keep a safe distance, the commander grasped the cold, clammy, flaccid appendage and raised it to the horizontal. "This isn't as long as when Miss Ptarmigan measured it! It's getting smaller."
"Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am."
It had become smaller still. With a sorrowful shake of her head, Creamy wrote down the latest figure, noting that even at its smallest it was still bigger than Smith's. "It's quite a big one, despite everything," she remarked lightly, letting it drop with a thud against the little officer's thigh. It seemed to have lost another half an inch in the process.
"It's only average, ma'am."
"Pull them up and dismiss, Mr Jones. We've got a war to fight. I'll give you your assignment shortly."
"Aye-aye, ma'am." He wheeled round and marched out like a parade ground recruit, almost colliding in the doorway with a rugged outdoor type; rangy, tanned and craggy-featured. He grinned at the pale-faced Jones and saluted casually.
"Evening, ma'am." He handed over his slip of paper.
"Mickey Mouse, I presume?"
"Not my real name, ma'am. It seems I've upset one of your officers. The old battleaxe out there in the wardroom."
"Miss Ptarmigan is not a battleaxe, Mister! Stand up straight, stop lolling around, stand to attention and drop your trousers."
"Not necessarily all in that order, ma'am," Mouse drawled. "You sure you're ready for this? Ol' Ptarmigan sure as hell wasn't, I can tell you!"
"Just do it, Mr Mouse." She read the slip of paper for the first time and her eyes boggled. It read the same the other way up as well. But mere figures didn't tell half the story.
Mouse's eyes never left hers as he worked his pants with some difficulty down his footballer's thighs, revealing something undoubtedly larger than average. Was there no end to it?
"You seen enough yet?" He grinned at her. "There's plenty more."
"Drop them completely and stop playing silly games."
"Aye-aye, ma'am. You've got a load of cum on your shirt, ma'am, by the way. You ought to get it in to soak. Cold water's best. Leave it in to soak overnight. In fact, that's what I like to do best of all."
Why did everything this young man said seem to sound like a double entendre? "Mr Mouse, if you would kindly lower your trousers all the way down, please. Th-thank you. Oh, my God!"
"It seems pleased to see you, ma'am. Amazing, but you may need to update that figure old Ptarmigan wrote down. Luckily, you can easily change a one to a four."
"Thank you, I am quite capable of measuring it for myself."
"Not with a twelve inch ruler you're not! Tell you what, I'll put my thumb at the twelve inch mark, and you can measure the rest of it."
"I'll do it myself, thank you. All of it. Pass me that grease pencil, please."
"Suit yourself, ma'am." Mouse handed over the black Chinagraph pencil, then placed his hands on his head. "Look, ma'am, no hands."
Creamy tried to apply her ruler. "I can't do anything while it's leaping around like that, can I?"
"Sorry, ma'am." He shrugged his rugged shoulders. "Just a suggestion, ma'am. You need to be able to hold the end of it still while you use both hands to do the measuring, right? The best thing you can do is to..." And he whispered in the commander's ear.
It certainly made things easier.
An urgent pounding on the pantry door.
"Come in," drawled Mouse.
"Signal for the commander, ma'am..." It was the small sailor with the pointed nipples who had earlier spoken to the commander. "Beg your pardon, ma'am."
"The commander's got her hands full at the moment, sailor," said Mouse.
"And her mouth, too, sir!"
"Just leave the signal with me."
"It was for her personal attention, sir. Can you make sure she gets it?"
"Oh, yes, sailor. I'll make sure she gets it all right."
The captain strode from one wing of the bridge to the other. She knew her pacing was making the sailors nervous, but she had to keep moving. This bra was impossibly tight. And it was her biggest, too. This was all she needed; having to go into battle in a bra like a safety harness. Where was Creamy when she needed her? Ah, she remembered, checking out those three male officers. Surely it didn't take that long to measure three men's penes? But then Creamy was always most thorough and conscientious. She wouldn't leave a job undone. Creamy wouldn't go off half-cock.
But Belinda really needed to get this bra off. Even if it meant going bra-less into battle. That was the solution! Show the crew she was a woman of action. She stripped off the admiral's shirt and dumped it on twin handles of the engine-room telegraphs. "Sailor, come here, please."
"Captain?"
"What's your name, sailor?"
"Ramsbottom, Captain."
"Unhook my bra, Ramsbottom."
"Aye-aye, captain." The sailor disappeared behind her captain and busied herself. In the distance, bright flashes lit the sky above the horizon ahead of the Insufferable. A thunderstorm, or... ?
"Make it quick, Ramsbottom. It's going to get even tighter in there soon."
"It's shrinking, Captain! My fingers are trapped ... under the ... straps! There!"
"It's off. Good girl. Take it away, it's no use to me now." As Ramsbottom retired into the shadows with her still-warm prize, every eye on the bridge turned to the captain as she wriggled her way into the admiral's shirt and fastened the first five buttons, leaving the top three undone. Six inches of gleaming cleavage glistened in the pale green glow of the radar repeater. It was scarcely believable. The young captain's bust must have increased by at least three cup sizes in half an hour. And her nipples!
"Watch your course, dammit! You're falling off to port. Pilot, how long now?"
"Estimating six-one minutes to contact, Captain."
"Thank you." The most vital question; would this shirt stand the strain of another hour, followed by a battle to the death? Belinda could almost feel herself swelling by the minute. Yet it was important for the morale of the crew that she remain visible on the bridge. It would be so easy to go below and change into a pair of those shapeless khakis. But that would be the coward's way out. The white shirt would become a focus for her girls, a beacon of rampant feminity to inspire them through the coming ordeal. The skirt, too, was vital. Tighter and far shorter than allowed by Naval Regulations, it showed off her legs in their gleaming black stockings. She wished she had a pair of higher heels than these. Could she risk sending a sailor down to her quarters to fetch something? No, she remembered in time, all her sexiest things were in her wardrobe back on dry land. All she had in her cabin were a few changes of underwear. She simply couldn't send a sailor to fetch those. If the captain wasn't yet pee-ing herself, the crew could take heart, no matter how extreme the danger. In fact, the crew was hugely encouraged to see that their captain was sufficiently relaxed about the situation to touch herself intimately through the front of her skirt, a sight which made their hearts swell, to say nothing of their nipples. There was not a soul on the bridge who would not have gone down on the captain at this moment.
"Signal, Captain." A small voice at her elbow, and a message flimsy was thrust into her hand. "From the admiral, ma'am."
172305ZAUG00TOP SECRET BITTER CHOCOLATE URGENT
TO F09 INSUFFERABLE
FROM CINCBNHOMEFLT
YR 2245 REFERS. AVERAGE PENIS LENGTH DETERMINED EMPIRICALLY FROM DIRECT OBSERVATION HQ OPS STANDS AT FIGURES 4.50, FOUR DECIMAL FIVE ZERO INCHES. GOOD HUNTING.
ENDS
"Have you read this, sailor?"
"Aye-aye, Captain." The sailor's blushing young face appeared puzzled. "Is it in some kind of code, captain?"
"Code, sailor?"
"My Darren's is ten inches long, Captain. And as thick as my leg."
Her pale narrow face bore what seemed to be a permanently bewildered expression; she wore thick glasses, her mousy hair was greasy and stringy, she had no breasts or hips at all. Truly, nature had her ways of adding variety to the gene pool.
"Then you've got something worth fighting for, haven't you? Back to the radio shack, sailor!"
There were sounds of disturbance, and footsteps clattering up the ladder to the bridge. Belinda's spirits soared when she saw her executive officer come on to the bridge, accompanied by three males in officers' uniforms. Stripes of rank had been hastily attached to their shoulders. Two of them seemed most aggrieved, the other one, smiling foxily to himself, found a convenient surface and leaned negligently against it. He wore the stripes of a lieutenant commander. An extremely young lieutenant commander. Belinda could imagine girls swooning over his craggy features.
"Sorry it took so long, Captain," Creamy saluted. "Lieutenants Smith and Jones, and Lieutenant Commander Mouse."
"Mouse?"
"Mickey Mouse, Captain."
Belinda lowered her voice. "All measurements completed, Creamy?"
"All done, Captain. All apparently average, captain, but I've given them their new ranks according to their size."
"How big's that one?" Belinda inclined her head towards the smirking Mouse.
"Just over fourteen inches, ma'am."
"Four ... fourteen? My God, he ought to be an admiral! What's all that stuff on your shirt?"
"Apparently it's called cum. I managed to swallow most of it. Permission to change into something a little drier, captain?"
"No time. Get these two away to their duties. You get away to the front of the boat, up forrard, and Mr Mouse can stay here with me."
"As you wish, Captain. Your tits look enormous, Captain. No bra?"
"I had a sailor take it off for me. I can't see this shirt making it through the night. It's the excitement. It always makes me swollen, but this is something else entirely."
"I want to suck your nipples, Captain."
"Later, Creamy. When all this is over."
"Well, Mouse? What's your speciality?"
"Nothing really, Captain. I'm learning the ropes, as it were, and how to shoot guns and things, but mostly I fuck girls."
"You do? All the time?"
"Only on shore, Captain, until now, at least. Our navy doesn't have girls in ships. I don't do it with men, although I've been asked on occasion."
"You've been what, Mouse?"
"Asked, Captain. A-s-k-e-d, with a 'k', ma'am."
"I hope you haven't been getting up to any funny business in Insufferable, Mouse."
"I've only had six of the girls, Captain. About twenty fucks altogether. And one blow-job, but that was with the commander. You can see why she's commander, ma'am. She did things with her mouth and tongue, captain ... I can still feel her down there." Mouse's voice tailed off. He appeared to be staring. "Erm, Captain..."
"What is it, Mouse?"
"Your ... bust, Captain. It's extremely large..."
"Of course it is. I'm the captain of this ship. I have to have the biggest bust of all the officers. The commander's bust is actually bigger than mine, but..."
"I beg your pardon?"
"It's because of the emergency, and one or two other factors. Commander Crea ... I mean ... Coffey has a larger bust measurement, but my breasts themselves are bigger, hence the fact that I am in command."
"It's not, you know!"
"Not what?"
"The commander's bust isn't as big as yours. Believe me, I am a connoisseur, and I have seen both of you from very close-up in the past few minutes. I'd say hers was fifty-eight inches, right?"
Belinda felt a flush in her cheeks. "Exactly right, but mine's only fifty-six."
"Rubbish, ma'am! You're well over sixty inches!"
"Sixty? Don't be silly!" Belinda ran her hands down the swollen mounds of her bosom. Even without her aching nipples, they did look extremely full this evening. And she'd had to take her bra off. But sixty! That would qualify her for command of a fleet destroyer, if Brilliantina had any. "Do you really think so?" she said, lowering her gaze modestly and fluttering her eyelashes.
"Well over sixty. Creamy told you how big they looked just now, didn't she?"
"You mustn't call her Creamy. She's the commander. Anyway, how did you hear that? She was whispering."
"She said she wanted to suck your nipples, didn't she, Captain?"
"So what if she did?" Belinda raged, and a number of faces on the bridge turned anxiously.
"I've got the same problem, Captain, if it's any consolation," said Mouse quietly.
"What problem's that?" Belinda asked, curious despite herself.
"Going into action, your breasts become bigger, don't they?"
"I wouldn't know," Belinda said haughtily. "I've never been in action before."
"You've seen the guns fired. What happened to your breasts?"
"My nipples got bigger. So what? It was a cold day, and..."
"And they stayed bigger, didn't they?"
"As it happens, yes. But my breasts are still growing anyway, so there's nothing unusual in that."
"You mean there's nothing unusual in them growing two, three, four inches in an hour?"
"They haven't grown that much. Have they?"
"At least. But as I say, I have the same problem. When I get excited ... I don't mean sexually, that happens all the time ... when I'm about to see action, I get ... bigger, too."
"What, all of you?" Belinda stared, then her eyes fell to the officer's groin. "You don't mean... ?"
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Today I offer you a story about a rich young man who will taste all the pleasures of life! In these times of illness, I wish you and your loved ones good health! Do not hesitate to write down my story and criticize it in the comments area so that I can improve myself. Thank you ! Good reading ! ThePrince59 _______________________________________________________________ It all started when during the summer of my sixteenth birthday, while I was outside my phone rang and when I picked...
"Damn it!", I shouted getting back into the driver seat of my car. I was frustrated to say the least, because I had just noticed my wallet was missing. I did the usual retracing my steps in my mind, to the locations I was earlier in the day. That's when it hit me, I must have dropped it at the store I visited this afternoon. This afternoon, I had stopped by the local adult toy shop to pick up a birthday present for my girlfriend. I wouldn't say we were a crazy adventurous couple,...
…………………….. David finished scanning all the documents and pictures to a jump drive and carried the fireproof box and key back to his parent’s bedroom. The morning was already warm, and the sun had not even full rose in the eastern ski. Walking to an outbuilding his mom was hard a work. “Gonna be a hot one darling,” she said with a smile. In long strides, he walked to the barn and saddled his well-rested Appaloosa. Riding along a large stand of ponderosa pine, David’s sharp eyes scanned...
Hi… Mera naam aditya hai.. Mein mumbai ka rehne wala hu.. Meri height 6′ aur land 6 inch ka hai.. Mein iss ka bohat bada fan hu… Yeh meri pehli story hai toh koi galti ho to maff kr dena… Ye baat tab ki hai jab mere 12th ke boards ke exams khatam ho chuke the aur muze chuttiya lag chuki thi…Mein jaha rehta hu vaha bohat saari sexi bhabhi rehti hai. Aur mere neighbour mein ek bhabhi rehti hai asha (name changed). Asha bhabhi gaav ki rehne wali thi pr unke pati ko acchi job lagne ke karan. Vo...
It was Friday afternoon and the Master was cruising westbound on the motorway heading for a weekend with his Goddess. His mind was not on his driving but what might be in store for the next two days with the horniest woman he’d ever met. He had showered before leaving home and decided he would go “commando” so as to be ready for whatever goddess had in mind.She had talked on the phone about what she had planned for them both; dinner, followed by a hot bath together and then passionate animal,...
ThreesomesAfter the broadcast, Paula asked everyone to head to Marsh’s for a celebration. ‘It’s taken seven years for Steve to pop the question and we’re going to make sure he knows how pleased we all are!’ Ted took the floor of the private room once family and friends were all gathered. ‘Steve asked me a few days back for permission to ask Gwen to marry him. I told him at the time that Paula and I couldn’t be happier. I’m not fooling myself about who the head of this family is. I appreciate that you...
After proofing Chapter 2 and making a few alterations, I took a deep breath, attached it to a brief email, and mailed it off to Dad. It took about a week before his reply found its way into my email inbox. My heart (and cock) leapt seeing the message waiting for me one afternoon with an attachment of its own. “Nice work, Charlie!” he began. “A little on the tame side, but you’re building up the story nicely. I especially liked how you had Charlie catch Dad and Mom in the act when he called....
He started to stroke the sides of my body with his gentle touch and it was sending shivers up and down my spine. I broke our kiss and moved my lips to his neck as I gently nibbled on him and placed sweet kisses there. I heard him let out a little moan as I did this. I smiled at that knowing that I was getting him excited too. He started to move his hands lower toward the edge of my skirt and I felt myself get wetter the closer he moved. He reached the edge and worked his way up and underneath...
She let out a long sigh, turning about in front of the full-length mirror in order to get a better look at herself. Primping was not something she made a regular part of her day to day routine. Since she worked full-time third shift at a long-term care facility and was asleep during the day most of the time, it simply wasn’t something she thought to do. Sure she washed herself everyday and things like that, but she never really went out of her way to make herself pretty. Tonight was a...
Friday afternoon, July 21, 2028We checked Addie’s suitcase, then I walked with her to the security gate. When she got within a couple people going through, we kissed goodbye. A couple minutes later I watched her walking down the concourse to her gate, her departure still an hour away.It was 2 PM. The stores were still open, and I could go to the Boise store and visit with Kayla, but I’d just be in her way. Addie and I had stopped for a snack on our way to the airport so I wasn’t hungry. I...
Wife LoversWARNINGS: Contains transgender themes, Sci-Fi, explicit sex, mild violence, bad words, and strange ideas. It has only the strange things that dribble from my head. If you are not old enough, mature enough, open minded enough, and especially not smart enough to stop reading should you find yourself becoming offended viewing such a story, don't! I hereby grant permission to post this story, make it available for download, or send it to a one or more of your kinky friends, as long...
Grandmother looked ... she saw a 13 year old boy. She closed her eyes ... she heard a 55 year old man. A disciplined military man. A dangerous ... even deadly man. Her eyes opened... 13 year old kid. She shut them again... 55 year old killer ... thirteen year old... 55 year old... 13... 55... 13... 55. As long as she kept her eyes shut ... she could believe. As soon as she looked ... not a chance. Me? I was dwelling on the differences: First time: I was the wimp. I couldn't cope with my...
When she was 21, my daughter met a man. A year and a half later, I walked her down the aisle and gave her away to him.I liked Garrett. He was smart and funny. We had a lot of fun watching sports together over the years, and he seemed to make my little girl, Brenda, happy.If I had one complaint about him, and admittedly it was very shallow of me, he wasn't the best looking guy in the world. I wondered to myself sometimes what had attracted Brenda to him in the first place. I figured he must have...
"Damn Jennifer. How the HELL did I get myself into this?"Scott was cornered... well, literally "countered" at the moment in this case. These girl friends had been running around for a while now. He'd met them all before. Jennifer, Kailyn, Julie, and Karen. Jennifer & Kailyn were closer friends than the others, both married. Karen had been divorced for some time, and had two kids - he thought anyway. Julie was recently divorced and the reason for the troop's current rash of wild times.Times that...
ExhibitionismStalwart XXX-director Chris Streams’ camera soaks up adorable, li’l Katie Kushwith aplomb as she poses in black fishnet stockings, red fishnet top and tight schoolgirl miniskirt. In a pre-fuck interview, the young brunette eye candy reveals that she was a stripper, and then she asked herself, ‘Why not go all the way?’ Studly porn fucker Zac Wild rims her asshole and fingers her twat. He shoves his big cock in Katie’s mouth for a spit-lubed blowjob. Zac fucks her...
xmoviesforyou"I see you decided to show up after all." I'd been standing and talking to Coach Calloway and Doug Mendenhall. Doug was the plate umpire for today's game and the senior umpire for this part of the state. The base umpire was pretty senior too. I guess Wasay wasn't taking any chances. I turned and saw Coach Rich standing just inside the backstop. I looked back at Coach Calloway. "Coach, if I call a teacher a fat-assed neanderthal idiot will I get in trouble? Especially since he isn't...
The next morning Beth and I had woke up around 11am. I told her that she needed to come to my house tuesday afternoon after school. Remembering that daddy said I was to follow my instructions and so far I had. Thinking back to last night playing with Beth and actually letting Rex lick and fuck me. I really didn't think that having a dog fuck me was going to excitie me as much as it did. As much as i had fun my mind kept going to daddy. I love him and i love being with him and I missed him. I...
Things had been so serious at work, people getting laid off, management making cuts here and there, no one knew who was going to be next, ugh! I'd been working there for 2 months and I thought I was doing a good job, but I couldn't help wondering if I was going to be in the next round of layoffs. I was on my knees by a file cabinet arranging some documents when my boss walked by and stopped to look at me with a serious expression on his face. I looked back at him and smiled nervously then he...
Hi, guys, this his Rohit again. Thanks, for your replies to my last sex story. Those who haven’t read my sex story for them please read my story naming “A key to pleasure”. Now for the new readers, I am Rohit, from Pune, 22 years old. You can contact me on This is the real sex story of me with my neighbor aunty.This is a long story guys hope you will like the situation in which I got lucky. Coming to sex story, after fucking Sneha, I was enjoying her. But got a chance to fuck Anita from my...
Note : This story is fictional! 11 Michael and Susan came home on Wednesday afternoon. They were both tired from the trip and it was nice to just sit and relax. Michael looked at Susan as they sat on the couch and suddenly an idea came to him. He was thinking about how beautiful both his mom and Kathy were. As far as he was concerned he was fucking the two most desirable women in town. If only they were both living in the same house and available to him whenever he wanted, he saw lots of...
IncestSword Kellie lopped off the rapist's foot. The second rapist looked up fast enough to see the Left Tower's staff being flicked at his chest. One hundred pounds of steel flung by a Tower's augmented strength ... OUCH! "I think you killed him," I told the Left Tower. He kicked the first rapist out of his way. Slapping the second rapist, the Left Tower shook his head at me. The sixteen year old girl they'd been about to rape crawled away from us. She ended up too close to a jail cell...
Mera nam Jay hai aur meri umar hai 20 saal. Us wakt ma 12th standard me tha aur 18 saal ka tha. School me ek lakdi thi jiske ka naam Mary tha. Wo ek dum maal thi dik ne ma. Uski umar 18 saal thi. Muje wo bohat pasand thi aur muje us p crush tha. Sara school ki ladkda us p maar the t. Uski ki figure thi 36-24-36 (Meri nazar me). Gaand uski ek dum mast dhik thi t. Sunny Leone jasi gol gand thi uski. Tits us k perfect tha is umar me. Chara us k ek dum beautiful tha aur us k badan ek dum sexy tha....
“I have in this War a burning private grudge—which would probably make me a better soldier at 49 than I was at 22: against that ruddy little ignoramus Adolf Hitler (for the odd thing about demonic inspiration and impetus is that it in no way enhances the purely intellectual stature: it chiefly affects the mere will). Ruining, perverting, misapplying, and making for ever accursed, that noble northern spirit, a supreme contribution to Europe, which I have ever loved, and tried to present in its...
Liz, it turned out, was in line for a medal. The gal who was the pilot, technically the Aircraft Commander, had survived after all. She'd been knocked unconscious, and Liz had made sure she got out as the plane went down. That was why the girl, Sue, actually Capt. Susan Edgecroft, landed came down on land and was rescued by a troop of British soldiers from the Parachute Regiment. She'd barely hit the ground before they were there to pick her up. The delay in finding Liz was because she...
My name is Jessica and I guess at first glance you would think I'm just your average girl. A simple well performing schoolgirl who had a good social life with plenty of friends and a nice body thanks to gymnastics and volleyball for eight years. Im bisexual with a strong attraction for both guys and girls. I was eighteen at the time of this story and received more than enough attention from guys around school. Standing at 5"6 with long brown hair reaching down to the middle of my back, 32B...
one night me and my gf daniee went out clubbing, when we arrived we had some drinks and talked before we got a little drunk and started to dance....we were grinding on each other and that got me turned on, i said to daniee i was going to the toilet. she followed behind me and stopped me in the corridor and started to kiss me passionatly and rubbing my semi hard cock through my jeans... we then made our way into the womens toilets and into a cubeical...as we contiuned to kiss with passion we...
Both George and Jenifer were normal couple until George found that Jenifer is not loyal to him. So, when he found that she not loyal he broke up with her. After breakup also he was not able to forget her. When they were in relationship Jenifer never allowed him to fuck her so, he decided to take revenge from her by fucking her like whore and humiliating her and to keep her like his sex-slave for the entire life. So, he planned to kidnap when she return from her music class at...
THE WHITE APRON DID IT! By Monica Graz PART 9 Lita looked again at her brand-new passport and the photo attached to it. She was more concerned than usually. Was she going a bit too far this time? Her crossdressing and submissive tendencies were all declared loudly at her passport photo. All she could see was a young plain looking woman dressed in a light blue dress with a white collar, the unmistakable symbol of a maid's uniform. She looked at the passport name again,...
The bedroom door was party open as the sound of old bedsprings creaked and whined echoed into the hallway. Karen was fucking her foster son again..hard. The 47 year old was grinding back and forth bouncing rhythmically on top of her 22 year olds rock solid dick. Grunting noises and ecstatic moans could be heard as they both pummelled their respective bodies. As Karen occasionally shrieked and screamed into the air she yelled to her son “Paul I want your cummm deep in my womb.Paul aggressively...
I was having some lunch at a quick food place around the corner of our building office, when I met that black man.He just came along and asked me if he could sit down at my table.He looked hot, so I gladly accepted his kind company.The black guy really cheered me up, since I was having a bad day. We then got on to the subject of my stupid Boss trying to fuck me in his own office and hubby was not giving me enough sexual care.His name was Darius and he suddenly pulled out his cell phone and...
"You can't do this! This has been illegal for three hundred years!" Cecilia Brant, member of the Manor Guard, yells at the mysterious women. She is wearing a simple brown dress that extends past her knees but is low-cut enough for her to flaunt her ample breasts. It's her day off, after all, and she had no reason to believe that it would be the day her entire life collapsed around her. The elegant woman has introduced herself only as Malina von Fremora, an heiress from the Empire. She is...
Me or amit junagadh ja rahe the uski gadi me.vo muje chida raha tha k tu sala bibi hote huve bhi muth mar raha he.to tujse acha to me hu jo sadi bina bhi khus hu.meri bibi pregnant he es liye. ase hi majak masti k sath hum junagadh pahoch gaye. Jese hi hamne ghar ki bel bajai hamare hosh ud gaye,hamare samne ek jakas aunty khadi thi. Amit ko dekh kar boli are anit tu aa gaya? Are yaar me hamare bare me batana bhul gaya mera name ______ he mere dost muje pyar se musa bhai kehte he. Amit or me...
“Are you horny?” Helen’s eyes went wide in embarrassment, and even though her insides vibrated with need while the words resonated in her mind, she shook her head. “Don’t lie to me!” Lisa snapped, hard lines forming around her eyes. The look once again stirred up that strange, weightless feeling in Helen’s stomach. Something pushed at her breasts, and looking down she saw the balls of the young woman’s feet now resting just below her stiff nipples. She shuddered. The toes flexed, softly...
It was 1 o clock and time for Sue"s lunch.The International Bank where she worked was a stones throw from Pettiecoat Lane which apart from it being famous for its Sunday Market also operated in reduced form on week days.She was a regular visitor and today along with three other girls had arranged a trip to windowshop.As they left the building the heat of the day hit them,it being August and unusually for England temperatures were in the 90s.The girls all dresses in the standard uniform of City...
Edited by Isaac Newton I stood in shock in the open doorway of the kitchen with two arms full of brown-bagged groceries for my family. There, on the couch in the living room, mere meters away from me, sat Lori Johanson, my daughter's long-time best friend, with her pleated, navy blue, school skirt up about her waist and her bare heels shoved into the cushions. My daughter was kneeling on the carpet before her, wearing white lace thigh-high stockings and a black leather studded collar about...
“LAST NIGHT IN PARIS” part II (FMMF) A bisexual tale of lust and teen passions- by Tom Hunter We lay there gasping for about 10 minutes before Sandrine suggested some more drinks… As I worked part time in a bar, I offered to fix some cocktails and she pointed me in the direction of her alcohol stash in the kitchen. I heard Ben and Sandrine laughing in the bedroom. I smiled myself, as I thought of what an amazing experience I had just had. Rummaging through the bottles, I decided to go for a mix...
BisexualHello all, I am back ek nayi story ke saath ek baar phir mera intro de du I am a healthy boy of age 24yrs. My name is prithvi kapoor me ek bade family ko belong karta hun aur haal filal Indore me rehta hun ..Maine kai tarah ki social services karte logo ko dekha tooh mene bhi decide kiya jis bhi lady ya girl ko life me pyar samaan ya respect nhi mila me uska hissedar banunga aur unhe o pyar or pleasure dunga. So ab story pe aata hun. March ke target pure hone ke baad april me itna load nhi...
This is the story of how my 18 birthday was beyond anything I could have ever imagined, at 17 I was red headed fiery 5 ” 2 with c cup breasts and a slim uk size 10 with a seductive curvy figure. My boyfriend Dave was 5 “9 brown hair an dark eyes almost black. I was pale even for a red head deathly pale, you see I had a secret I would never become 18, I was a vampire and I had been for the last 109 years. I was staying in a small town in Alaska; permanently overcast I had no reason to...
NOTE: There is no sexual content in this story. * It all started back in 7th grade when I moved to a new school in a totally new area. I had to leave all my friends behind and start over from scratch. Now anyone who’s anyone should realize that 7th grade is NOT a good time to move! Kids are evil to each other in those years, though, as I learned later, the teasing and torment I went through then was nothing compared to the torture I was to endure years later… I settled into the school and...
Update from the previous four parts. Joe and Karen, a normal couple except for one small thing; Joe likes to dress occasionally and Karen has decided to support her husband. Joe's problem is that, while he loves to dress he is less than happy with the result. The torment threatens their marriage so Karen decides to act. She finds a wonderful support group headed up by 'Aunt Mary' who helps Joe accept his feminine side. Joe seems to be adapting well until he begins to feel that...
"Give it back!" She could feel her face flush as she tried to reach his hand. She couldn't stretch too far or her tits would slip free and the entire beach would see.He laughed and pushed away from her, gliding through the water, the bikini top still held high above his head. "What'll you do if I don't?"She swam after him, face already warm from the sun heat further in embarrassment.Reaching him, she glanced around to make sure no one else was looking, then tried to grab his arm with both...
ExhibitionismA continuation of part 1I hope a young man like you can go again and so……………. I said sure I just need 5 minutes to catch my breath that’s OK she said I want to get a drink, she walked naked to the fridge and I got to see her in all her glory, she looked really good for her age a little saggy but still sexy and could feel the life coming back to me. She offered the bottle to me and so I got up and walked over to her when o reached o drank heavily and then slipped my arm around her waist and we...
By the time we were sixteen Elaine had developed into a beautiful girl. She had an absolutely stunning face, long black hair, and a nicely proportioned body. She proudly sported c-cup breasts and a perfectly rounded ass that just cried out to be touched. We saw each other at school but we rarely visited anymore. She had her cheerleading and boyfriends. I had a job after school and a girlfriend or two so we just didn’t have much opportunity to get together. This ended one weekend…. Her...
WHEN MOMMY HAD ENOUGH Chapters 3 and 4 Copyright 2003 Stacilynn Brown [email protected] =3= After cleaning Thomas, Rachel sat him down with the twins and fed them lunch. "After you guys finish up why don't you change into your bathing suits and hang out with the rest of us around the pool?" The twins perked up at the thought, hanging out with the older girls sounded like fun. Thomas just sat there, playing with his food. The thought of sitting around with all...
There was a heavy atmosphere that hung in the air as a storm raged throughout the evening. Aiden and I ran towards my house, which I shared with my mum. The deluge of rain ricocheted off our bodies. With the key in my wet hand I fumbled trying to get it in the lock. Eventually, the door flew open and we darted inside. There was a harmonious silence of relief to be inside and out of the rain. We looked at each other both drenched and dishevelled, my makeup smeared, and rainwater dripping from my...
Quickie SexWelcome to The Celebrity Replacement Bureau or CRB for short. Here we have started an interesting (illegal) business that we think you might get a kick out of. We have been busy kidnapping celebrities from across the country in various walks of life, from Youtube Stars, to Hollywood Stars to Rock Stars to Politicians, we have the real deal here for you buy. How do we get away with it you ask, it's simple, we get DNA and clone them so that we can replace them with replica's who still report to...
Monday afternoon our team reviewed the video from the Michigan game. The coaches were mostly complementary as we reviewed the game. Coach Schroeder got on my case again about my blocking on a couple running plays. He got after Damian too for dropping a couple passes late in the game. The coaches reminded us that we couldn't get complacent after our victory. We flew out to Lafayette, Indiana on Friday to play Purdue. The Boilermakers play a spread offense like we did. If we were careless,...
Laney Grey and her best friend, Chanel Grey, are enjoying each other’s company, although it’s bittersweet. They’re both going to be away from home soon, so they’re having a slumber party to get as much time together as possible! Even if they promise to see each other again, who knows what life has planned for them? Their tender moment is interrupted by Laney’s step-mom, Christie Stevens, coming in and checking on them before bed. But instead of being annoyed,...
xmoviesforyouA popular prank in school is the depantsing of fellow students. There are even several movies with depansing scenes. These include American Graffiti and Meatballs. Any good depantsing usually includes the following elements: The Victim The Bully or "depantser" An Audience Please identify yourself with one of these roles.
FetishHi my name is Tami, I grew up in a small town where there was never any real excitement. I recieved an academic scholarship to a major university, I was always good in school.I'm a Brunette, 5'7" tall, 36C-26-36 athletic build.My parents were a little upset that I would be so far from home during my college years. After all I was their little girl.My mother took me shopping for new clothes for my first year of college. She thought that some of the skirts I chose were a little to short. She...
A few years ago the company that I work for transferred me to Bali , Indonesia and until I could get a place of my own I was staying with my friend Roger and his lovely wife Chico . They shared the house with a roommate named Lia who is a stunningly beautiful Indonesian girl with long black hair, pretty brown eyes and the body of a playboy centerfold. Lia and I became friends from the beginning and since neither one of us were dating anyone we would...
Straight SexThe sexy exchange student drove him wild. During class, he would sit behind her, perving on her perfect ass. All he wanted – all he was sure he would ever want was sex. He wanted it from her, and he wanted it bad. They were in sex education at that particular time, learning about the different parts of the penis and vagina, and Troy felt seedy for how much it aroused him. With every slide and picture that went up, he imagined Delphine’s naked parts and wanted her desperately.At the end of the...
Have you ever wondered what life in a family linked with incest is like? well this is what my family is like, my name is El-Louise and I'm your average 17 year old, I'm 5'6, have small but perky 34A boobs, have longish brown hair and am quite curvy, an this is my life.I woke up this morning after my alarm went off at half 6, my older sister, Tiffany-Jade was already up and about to get ready for college, or so I thought, as I wandered downstairs into the kitchen I hear a moan coming from the...
IncestRebeka's story part two He looked just like his picture. Grey haired, conservative, respectable. And calm. Totally calm. In complete contrast to me I might add. "C...come in," I spluttered, feeling more self-conscious than I'd have believed possible. He followed me through to the front room and took a seat and I perched myself opposite him, crossing my legs in what I hoped was a lady-like fashion. He looked at me calmly, clinically almost, as though he were studying an item in a...