Rants Tantrums and Hissy FitsChapter 3
- 3 years ago
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More Rants? Christ ... Where does it end?
Actually, I have some strange self-reviews to post and I'm not exactly sure what they mean, but I had fun doing them. I'm still trying to find my real rants, but as I've always said - my best rants are in my stories anyway. See? I told you I don't understand why anyone would enjoy this sort of thing. Maybe they don't and they're only teasing me! That would be a cruel joke, wouldn't it? Or maybe I just need to get off my lazy butt and start writing something, but my mind has been such a complete blank lately.
Blah ... Let me post this stuff, just so I can say I did something today!
T.S. Reviews rache ... Just because
2008-11-02
Like all authors, I'm a repressed critic, and since I don't have my own reviewership and Andrew Johns doesn't take personal checks, I'm going to review my Siamese twin sister ... Or she reviewed herself and is just too lazy to leave my blog and edit hers. Either way...
Everyone always says, "I'm my own harshest critic." or something to that effect. I don't say it, because I'm kind of biased usually. But the good thing about critiquing my own work is that unlike my harshest critics, I sorta know what I'm talking about.
I critique myself all the time. And not just me, but my stories too! While I write, after I write, when I proof, after I proof, after I post, when I answer emails, later when I'm having a rhum and coke and trying to slip my wedding ring off my toe as nonchalantly as possible ... I'm always thinking about the story and wondering what I should have done and why. A story can always be better. Don't forget that.
For some odd reason my best ideas always come too late.
Eventually, however, I forget about that story and write a new one, and then a dozen new ones, and after two years I pretty much forget what the hell it was even about! That's the best time to open a story up and proof it! Not right away! Wait until you think it's someone else's story. The mistakes will jump out at you like drunken Irishmen on St. Patty's Day, believe me. Everyone's Irish when you're spread eagle on the pool table. Its weird.
That makes it the perfect time to do a little review as well...
"Dogsmith" was written by Lisa Pavageau in early 2006 for nevermindwho.com and posted to SOL sometime after the exclusivity rights expired, under the pen name rache. The title is a word I made up for a working title and a better one never occurred to me. I hadn't looked at it since posting and I largely forgot it even existed until the other day when I got an email telling me how good it is.
"Dogsmith?" I wondered. "What the hell is that?"
So I opened it up tonight and started reading, got two paragraphs into it and saw three silly things to be fixed and promptly opened my editor to fix it while I was reading. I'm amazed Bc didn't ask for their money back! So now, at the risk of being a total ass, here's my review of Dogsmith...
Dogsmith by rache // 10,846 Words // Story#50238 // Posted: 2006-10-23
Synopsis: Lisa wants to join a sorority and all she has to do is complete one last challenge, to get one of her sorority sisters laid. But that could be harder than it sounds, especially since the girl in question is a 5 year old black lab named Sophie.
Codes: MF FF rom 1st coll cons toys beast
QScore: 7.29
Dogsmith
Ahhhh ... Bestiality. If it isn't your thing, turn around right now and find something else to entertain you. "Dogsmith" is all about Dog Sex and when it comes to canine love, there are a mere handful of authors who are any good at it. Thankfully, rache is one of them and this story is a little known star in the constellation of Canis Major. It isn't Sirius (the brightest star in the sky) or even serious (a dull star indeed!) but it is a lot of fun and good escapist entertainment for the whole family.
rache begins the story with one of her favorite vehicles, a narrator who is rife with personal problems. Lisa is a college girl trying to get into a sorority and with a wonderful economy of words we understand immediately that she's smart, funny, cynical, jaded, and not just a little bored with life in general. A typical 19 year old, away from home for the first time, but somehow still plugged into her adolescence through an emotional umbilical that she detests. Sound familiar?
The obvious conflict in the story is announced with the first words out of her mouth, as Lisa wonders if she'll be accepted into the sorority or not. But we know rache and if there's one thing she loves, it's misdirection, and so we won't be surprised later when other issues arise to complicate the situation and push the plot towards an unexpected resolution.
What is the plot? In a nutshell, Lisa is challenged to get the sorority mascot, a five year old black lab named Sophie, laid by a member of the Alpha-Omega Fraternity. She has to get it on video for viewing at her initiation and therein lies the rub. How does she talk a college boy into not only fucking a dog, but letting Lisa make a movie of it?
Hmmm ... That's a toughie.
The Lisa character is like most of rache's narrators, well developed and likable and living in a universe just half a step off from ours. Everything she says and does may not be completely believable if taken separately, but in context Lisa works wonderfully. The dialogue and Lisa's narration into her thoughts and emotions are smooth and deceptively simple, and by the time the first (and very unlikely) sex scene rolls around we're there. We see the world through her eyes and it somehow makes sense.
I love how she does that and I wish I knew the secret.
The other main character, a young man named Michael, is not nearly so well developed and it's with him that I have to raise my only real issue with the story. As Lisa plans to seduce the boy into having sex with Sophie, she begins to fall in love with him, and while that's made clear, we don't get enough of the character to understand the attraction, in my opinion. I think one more good dialogue scene would have added a lot to Michael's character, but that might just be some knit-picking on my part ... He does read her two poems, after all, and while it isn't Shakespeare, even the worst prose given from the heart is a pretty big kick for a closet romantic like Lisa.
The sex. This is good stuff if you're into bestiality, because we get some hot scenes with more than the usual male dog slipping the bone to a girl ho-hum doggy style.
Dogmsith gives us a lesbian threesome involving Lisa, her roommate, and Sophie. Another scene with a large male dog spoiling Lisa completely. And finally Michael with Sophie while Lisa watches. That's a lot of sex in a small package, but who's complaining?
The scenes aren't terribly long and not entirely written for stroke, but even so, they are stimulating and very enjoyable. The scene between Lisa and Michael's dog, Stein, is an over the top fun fest, but we can forgive Lisa for that as she was doubtless recalling her experience through the rosy lens of orgasmic ecstasy. It's great sex and combined with the other elements, it's the reason this story is a standout in the bestiality genre.
Technically ... Spelling and grammar in the updated version are as well done as we're likely to find in an amateur online story. The characters are well crafted; the narration is absorbing and full of rache's quirky humor. The plot is over-the-top, or so it seems, but with a small twist at the end which so many readers have commented on in the past. "Why didn't I think of that?" being the most common response and it's simple ... We don't think of it because Lisa didn't think of it and that's proof of immersion, suspension of belief, and rache should take it as a compliment.
It isn't her best story, but rache has given us something far better than a lot of the mundane bestiality we come across on the internet and if you love dogs like I do ... Yeah, this one is for you, baby!
My ratings?
Technical: 9 Plot: 9 Appeal: 10 Stroke: 8
Reasons why it's my best story ever!!!
2008-10-22
Reasons Until After: Ashley is sixteen and when the quarterback of the football team falls in love with him, everyone assumes the boy is gay. This would be bad if it didn't suddenly bring Ashley to the attention of the three hottest girls in school, cheerleaders determined to teach him all about life, love, and a little thing they like to call "girl fun" ... What could possibly be wrong with that?
Story Codes: fff/m, teen, romance, reluctant, oral, cd, cheerleaders, and angst, lots and lots of angst
Romance/Some Sex
Sounds innocent, doesn't it?
I'm posting my subversive novel "Reasons Until After" and yeah, it's one of the very best stories I've ever written about anything. Convincing people to read it is of course problematic, but I'm used to that. This story does get spanked, as do I, for having the gall not to regurgitate what most readers are looking for. Spank me all you want, I'm not going away and I'm not going to change. I have no fear of anyone around here.
Sorry if that frightens you. (oops ... that'll get me another 1-1-1) Thankfully, I do not suffer from a lack of self-confidence and I trust my own judgment far more than I trust the scoring system on SOL.
Luckily for me, I'm also blessed with my fair share of attention. A lot of people like this story quite a bit. A lot of people who presumably know what they're talking about, probably more than I do, and I like that. I always learn a lot and try to pay attention. Some of the feedback I've received has been over-the-top cool, like this one...
San Francisco GYM (Gay Youth Movement) has included this little note in the reviews section of its newsletter which is very flattering. Among other things, they said:
" ... Unsurprisingly, recent fiction has included a number of female authors exploring male sexuality; among these ... Rachael Ross [has] given us stories which are at once familiar and fresh in their scope and appeal. 'Reasons Until After' stands out as an exploration of sexual identity crises and revels in a romantic, non-prejudicial world-view..."
That was pretty nice of them and their email was very generous, as was a note from the Advisor of the Akron Pride Center Youth Group in Ohio. He asked me for permission to distribute the story in print form, to make it available " ... as an example of a story of love and self-acceptance." That's a sweet thought and it made me smile, as you can imagine.
Getting letters and feedback like that is very nice and gratifying, considering I wrote the story with little more intent than to entertain myself for a few hours. I received another note, from someone familiar with publishing stories a similar themes, suggesting I clean it up a bit, meaning tone down the sexual content and rework the relationship between Ashley and the three girls to be less explicit, and market the story as a novel.
I'm not too sure about that, but I can see the appeal of my little novel. The story, when I posted it under the rache pen name, scored very low. I think a number of readers were expecting something different and so I got punished for not meeting expectations. It merely reinforced my already strong opinion that scores are meaningless. The amount of feedback was substantial and positive, without exception. Many of my emails wondered, "Why is it scoring so low? Are people idiots?" and of course, I have no answer to that.
Technically? It's a very good story, plot and character-wise. It's been edited and proofed pretty well, although only by me. I'm sure a real editor could find some things to fix, but what's the point? When I bother to do it, I'm a better editor than most of the editors around here anyway, if you'll excuse a bit of immodest honesty. Half the editors don't answer requests for editing and half of the rest can't edit their own offers of assistance. Have you seen those??? heh! Editors ... Don't get me started. I have a real love-hate thing going there.
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Andee woke to the sound of the shower running. Looking at the digital clock beside the bed she saw that it was just after 6:00 a.m. As she sat up in the bed, she was trying to shake out the cobwebs and jetlag in her head when the realization of what had gone on the night before became obvious. She was naked but couldn’t exactly remember at what point during the night her lingerie had come off. She rolled out of the bed, made her way to the closet and pulled on a t-shirt from her suitcase. She...
Wife LoversThe whole matter began shortly after Andee’s 38th birthday. She had made one of the biggest decisions of her life and cropped her long brown hair into a cute “pixie” cut. It was a drastic change in her mind, and not long after she began to feel that she wasn’t being “noticed” as much as she had been when her hair was long. “Men prefer long hair,” she complained to her husband one night, not long after she made the dramatic transformation. But despite his constant reassurances, she still felt...
Wife LoversIt had been a long time in coming. Andee wasn’t sure if having to “pay up” for losing a friendly bet with her co-worker was just a passing joke in the hallway, or if he was serious about collecting on it. As a thirty-eight year old mom of two very active boys and career woman, she enjoyed a bit of adventure in her life and this was the second time in a year she had found herself confronted with a sexual complication with her friend. Without question, Andee had been a shameless flirt with Paul,...
Wife LoversBecoming Brandee Chapter Seven Today may be one of the most important days of my new bimbo life. I go for my job interview today. I am so nervous. I so want to get this job. Lisa seems to think I am a shoe in. But I am nervous. I so want this job. It means a lot to me and I think it will mean a lot to Richard and I know it will help continue to rein....reinfer...re...make me more comfortable as a bimbo girl happy in her role.To support me, Lisa came over and we went through my...
Disclaimer: This chapter, like all chapters of the Becoming Brandee series are intended for adult readers only. Reproduction in any form may not be done without permission of the author. Becoming Brandee, Chapter Eleven: Julie and I crawled into bed together spent as Richard retired to his room. However, just before heading up to bed, Benjamin and I shared a private moment at the door before he headed back to his home. He kissed me tenderly and told me that he'd like to see me...
We woke up mid morning the next day. I rang down to the servants house and asked that breakfast be served in about an hour. I hustled Candace into the shower, telling Candy that we couldn't play; I had a big day planned for us. And that of course set off a round of what? and why won't you tell me, and I don't care if it's a surprise, which finally ended with several swats to the ass cheeks and a gesture towards the shower. Point made, game, set, match; for now anyway. I went through...
Disclaimer: Like all chapters of the Brandee series, this one is inteded for adult readers only. Becoming Brandee, Chapter Twelve I am now in my fourth month of my tour of gentleman's clubs and adult bookstores and I am really enjoying myself. Julie came out a few weekends ago and had such a fun time watching me in my glory. She says she is going to finish up her Doctorial work sooner than expected and that we might get some more time together. I would really enjoy that as I...
“We’re here!” Grandma cried as she and Grandpa came through the front door with their suitcases. “Grandma!” the children shouted as quickly the five of them surrounded their Grandparents. Grandma and Grandpa hugged them all – letting their hands grab the firm young asses of their grandchildren. Grandma took special care to press her massive bosom against their chests feeling her nipples harden as she did. Grandpa’s large pecker had been hard since...
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Disclaimer: Like all chapters in the Brandee series, this one is also intended for adults only. And, like all other chapters, no part of this story may be reproduced without permission of the author. Enjoy. Becoming Brandee Chapter Thirteen: I think I was telling you all about my publicity and promotional tour before getting side-tracked by hygiene issues in the last chapter. Let me fill you in on a few of my adventures with some fascinating audience members who've won the "Win...
Flashback - 11 months earlier (Author's notes - the intro takes place 'right after' Andersonville 6) There were fifteen men and women crowded into the small conference area. As Colonel Myers surveyed the room, he noticed most of them, the programmers anyway, were about half his age. Barry shook his head; he was getting old. His goal was to make general before he retired, and the Andersonville project had seemed like the best way to increase his chances. The problem was, he had...
Disclaimer. This chapter, like all chapters of the Becoming Brandee strory, are intended for adult readers only Becoming Brandee Chapter Ten: Now this was totally unexpected. I had initially thought that my wife Julie and I were both to be dates for Richard and suddenly I become very aware that only my wife is Richard's date for the evening. And, once I open the front door, I will be meeting my very own date. "You look divine, Brandee," said my wife encouragingly, "Now make...
Andee folded down the top of her suitcase and zipped it shut. In a few hours she would be back in Canada, back with her husband – and after the past couple days – back on her back as she shared her experiences in Houston with the man waiting at home. She looked at Don propped up against the edge of the desk, hands stuffed into his jeans as her thoughts turned to the fun she had enjoyed on this trip. She could see the disappointment in his face as he knew their time together had come to an end....
Andee folded down the top of her suitcase and zipped it shut. In a few hours she would be back in Canada, back with her husband – and after the past couple days – back on her back as she shared her experiences in Houston with the man waiting at home. She looked at Don propped up against the edge of the desk, hands stuffed into his jeans as her thoughts turned to the fun she had enjoyed on this trip. She could see the disappointment in his face as he knew their time together had come to an end....
Wife LoversWhen we returned home I took Candace to my bedroom, laid her on her back on my bed, and tied her hands and ankles to the head and foot boards of the bed. I kissed her lightly on her lips, then began to kiss and nibble on her cheeks, eyelids, forehead, around to her ears and her neck. Her body was stock still but her breathing was quick and shallow. When I got to the front of her neck I began to work my way down the front of her body. I grabbed the scissors I left on the bed table and cut her...
Becoming Brandee Chapter one: My wife, Julie, peered into the office where I was sitting at one of computer desks typing an IM to a new friend I had recently met on the internet. "Is this the man you have been telling me about?" "It is him, honey. As I've told you he is very different than most of the others I have chatted with online and I find myself really liking him and the way he thinks." She smiled back, "A girl does need a good man to share some of...
Becoming Brandee Chapter Two: Pulling up to his condo I realized that Richard was very well off. He lived in a very exclusive part of the city and his home furnishings matched his stature and good grooming. Looking around I felt like I just had to become his maid as well as girlfriend and make sure this wonderful man had me to look after him as a sweet girl would desire to do for a man who took good care of her. I squealed with delight when he showed me my own room. It couldn't...