My Lesbian Shemale Adventure
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My batting average was becoming more realistic by the middle of August, but I was still hitting over .400. I wasn't leading in home runs, but was third and that made me feel good. My fielding had been good and I was still error free so far. My pitching was nearly perfect with seven complete games, but there were games I should have finished that I left after seven innings and ended up with a no decision when we lost because the relievers couldn't hold them. Joe is like that though. If he thinks you're tiring or your pitches are coming up, he'll quickly yank you. My ERA was still one of the best in the league, so I was fulfilling what they had wanted from me.
My personal goals were to finish the season with a .400 or better batting average, to get at least one more no-hitter, and no losses if possible. I wanted my end of season ERA to be 2.0 or less. That's a tall goal, but if I could keep my command, it was a goal I could reach.
If I had a problem it was my weight. I hovered between 181 and183, and was eating more than I had ever eaten. The nutrition doctor did another series of tests to make sure I didn't have something that was keeping me from putting more weight on. My physique wasn't a problem. A lot of girls would stop and ogle when I was wearing just my shorts or a bathing suit. Horns would constantly honk if I didn't wear a T-shirt when I ended up running on the streets. My girls made over me and my muscles, but they were prejudiced so you can't trust what they say.
The nutritionist gave me lists of foods that she said was guaranteed to put weight on me and still give me energy. It wasn't much different than what I was eating, but included a lot of starch and a lot of pork. I would be doing a Mexican hat dance on the mound if I ate all of the beans she recommended. She conferred with the team doctor/trainer to keep him apprised of my efforts to put weight on.
Texas was in town and we had beaten them the first two games of the series and it was my turn to pitch. Hanigan was back from the DL and not showing any problems with his hamstring. I liked him to catch me as we seemed to always be on the same page.
The game started the way most of my games started, three up and three out, but it only took three pitches this time. They were swinging at the first pitch every time. Everything I threw was low in the zone, so they were putting the ball on the ground right at infielders. Their pitcher walked one, so he was able to get through the first four batters. I was batting fifth, so I would lead off the bottom of the second inning.
Our half of the second inning in the field was almost a duplicate of the first, except I had to throw five pitches instead of three. Everything I threw resulted in ground balls that were easy to field.
It looked like they were going to walk me when I came up, but the pitching coach came out to the mound to talk to the pitcher and catcher. They had a big discussion until the ump went out to bust up the confab. I had walked over to Matt Joyce who was on deck. Matt said, "I'd bet on a fastball, because this guy can throw. He likes first pitch fastballs."
The pitcher toed the rubber and the catcher settled down behind the plate. The man didn't throw a fastball but a changeup that floated across the plate a long time after my swing. You feel so stupid when you do that. I watched the man set up, and he moved his foot a little forward of the rubber to give the push off leverage he needed for a high velocity fastball. The ball came from the pitcher's hand with very little spin, but was really moving.
I had begun my swing as the ball left his hand and hit the ball over second base. I made good contact, but the ball didn't go anywhere. I would have to check that bat for cracks. No one could get me past first, so I was the proverbial runner left on base.
The third and fourth innings were like the first two. I made another nine pitches for the two innings to keep the game at nothing to nothing, no score. The first batter in the fifth inning watched a slider creep off the plate for a ball. The next pitch was a curve that was a strike. He popped the third pitch up to Loney. The second batter watched the first pitch too, but it was a strike this time. I threw a backup slider that went away from the left-handed batter, and he put it on the ground to Zobrist who was finally back. Batter number three was a fastball hitter and I was hesitant to throw him a first pitch fastball. Hanigan gave me the fastball sign after I shook him off every time. I finally nodded and focused on the bottom of the zone outside. The stars were aligned as the guy connected, but the ball came straight at me. I caught the ball and fired it to Loney. He stood on first and held the ball out, shrugging his shoulders.
When he walked in with me he said, "Forgot what out it was? We all heard you did that a couple of times in Durham."
The guys gave me some grief, but I had to go on deck for my turn to bat. Longoria hit past third, but was held at first for a single. I was given a bunt sign and planted my feet. The catcher must have noted my change in stance and went out to the pitcher. The other players came to the mound, so I'm sure he was telling them to be prepared for a bunt.
When I checked the third base coach again, he now gave me the sign to swing away as the players all came in to the grass, or carpet, in this case. I was thrown a curve that hung and drove it to the right field corner. Longoria made it all the way home and I was on second. Hanigan followed me and pulled one past the first baseman into the right field corner. I made it home and Hanigan made it to second.
The pitching coach came out and had a chat with the pitcher, probably to settle him down. He finished the side off stranding Hanigan, but we had scored twice. Hanigan came out during the eighth inning to ask me, "Are you getting tired? Your fastball is coming up in the zone. How about more sliders? They're working today.
I hadn't noticed that I was letting the ball get higher in the zone, so it was good Hanigan had reminded me. I finished off the side with sliders at the knees.
When I went in, Maddon asked, "Can you finish or do you want someone else to do it?"
I had to think about it and told Joe, "I think I can finish. It's the bottom of the order, and Hanigan and I will figure it out."
We both went into the clubhouse to hit the bathroom, and then came out to look at the batters' book. Longoria hit another single with me on deck and only one out. I hit a slider with the end of the bat that rocketed past the first baseman, hitting just fair. That drove Longoria in and I was on second. Hanigan had been working on his swing, and finished off with one over the right field fence for a five to nothing lead. That should be enough insurance for me to finish the game.
Hanigan and I studied the batters' book and agreed on the next six batters, if there were that many. My pitch count was 68, so I really wasn't tired. My first pitch fastball was at 93 and was right at the knees. The second pitch was a slider that looked like it was going to be off the plate, but backed in for a strike. I could see the man's gloved hands twisting at the bat as Hanigan called for a palm ball. It would be the first palm ball I threw tonight.
It was amazing to see the ball drop down at the plate, and Hanigan covered it, tagging the batter out. The next guy was determined to hit the ball, so I threw a forkball that dove into Hanigan's glove as the batter swung over it. The dugout called for a changeup, but I didn't like that call. I think this guy had struck out on a changeup and would be waiting for it. The call was changed to another forkball that the guy watched, but it was at the knees for strike two. Hanigan called for a fastball off the plate. I threw the ball and watched the guy swing at a ball that was a good eight inches off the plate.
The man I hoped to be the last man up was a decent hitter who has been in a slump. These kinds of guys can get lucky and kill a good evening. I wanted a slider and the dugout wanted a fastball. I waved it off, but they kept signaling fastball. Thinking okay, this will be down and dirty. I had waved my glove in the manner I used to signal Hanigan the ball was going to be down. I focused on the guy's knees and Hanigan's glove. This was a really good fastball at the top of my speed ability. The man topped the ball driving it into the ground to bounce high in the air. Escobar was yelling for it so I backed off. Escobar barehanded the ball on the way down and threw it to Loney. We got the call, but the Texas Manager was instantly out of the dugout and calling for a replay.
You really feel like you're on your own when you're on or around the mound while the 'blues' or umps put the headgear on to check a play. I was watching the play on the video board and it looked like the ball just barely beat the runner. It would have been an easy hit if Escobar hadn't barehanded the ball.
The umps separated almost two minutes later, and the first base ump pumped his fist with the 'out' call. My teammates converged on me for what I thought was for another complete game. They were bouncing around like kangaroos. I figured our lone Aussie player, Balfour, had been teaching them. Hanigan came up to me with his mask pushed back, and said, "You don't know, do you?"
"Know what?"
"That was a perfect twenty-seven batter game, and your second no-hitter in the majors. I thought you were going to give some hits away when your fastballs started coming up, but you adjusted and finished them off. Totally awesome, Matt."
I didn't make it to the dugout before I had to talk to Todd Kalas, the TV sports announcer. I had just told him that I was lucky when a real cream pie landed on my face with Escobar smearing it around to make sure my face was covered. Price came out with a towel while I tried to coherently answer the sportscaster.
I stopped to receive congratulations from the girls and four older ladies from the condo on the way to the dugout. The girls said, "We're all going to the Savoy for a celebration dinner. Hurry, get dressed, and meet us in the parking lot."
The clubhouse was in some kind of hysteria celebrating the win and my no-hitter. Joe came through and said, "Should we have Matt pitch the rest of our games this season?"
Everyone knew he was joking, but his joke caused a lot of hollering and cheering. Joe said to me, "You know you're going to be in demand for interviews by a lot of sports people. I don't know if it's ever happened before, but a rookie or nearly a rookie throwing two no-hitters in his first season is amazing. And to think that you don't want to be a pitcher. Get out of here and go celebrate." He turned as he was leaving, and asked, "Are you going to take me to the Savoy for dinner? I'll buy the wine."
I laughed and said, "You're on." I stood up on my locker chair and said very loudly, "Whoever wants a free meal, come with me to the Savoy. Joe's buying the wine and I'm buying the food." I turned to Joe, "Call the bosses and get them to come. They need to be there if we're going to celebrate."
Joe softly said, "The big guys are in town, but none of them will come. The big guy thinks that too much fraternization is not good."
"Tell Friedman I'll vote him out of the condo if he doesn't come. That'll get him going."
Joe left shaking his head. I called the girls and told Sherry, "Call the Savoy to be ready for most of the team and coaches. I'm buying supper, and Joe is buying the wine. Some of the execs might come too. I'm in the mood to celebrate as this is one of the goals I had set for myself."
Sherry said, "I'll call, but do they have enough room for all of us?"
"They have a lot of banquet rooms they can use if the dining room is too full. We're coming, like it or not."
I rushed through a shower, dressed, and almost didn't pack a bunch of food to eat later. This was the first time I was really excited about pitching. A lot of people had worked hard to make me a good pitcher, and I felt like I had just rewarded every one of them.
The girls were standing by the Jeep with the four older women from the condo. We jammed into the SUV and drove to the Savoy. The parking attendant congratulated me for the no-hitter when we were getting out. I was basking at the thought that I had accomplished something that was close to unheard of. It was while I was doing this that the words of Earl came blasting through. Don't get high on yourself, because it can all come tumbling down during the next game. Enjoy the moment, but get right back to asking for more instruction.
The Savoy could have probably seated us in their dining room, but elected to put us in a banquet room. The players were all having drinks and becoming a little loud as they showed up. I cautioned the guys by saying, "Let's not make them regret inviting us. Be gentlemen, who I know you're not, and keep it down for the diners just outside the door."
Joe and Andrew Friedman had just come in and smiled at me for keeping some order with the guys. The excitement of the night didn't want to let go. The doors opened to Mathew Silverman a few minutes later, and following him was Stuart Sternberg. I was almost in tears that I was being honored with their presence. The crowd of players and coaches hushed until Stuart Sternberg loudly said, "We're here to celebrate something that hasn't been done in a very long time. Party hardy and be discreet on the way home."
The four little old ladies couldn't get over all of the fuss that was being made over pitching a no-hitter, but they knew it was something special. I was probably more excited than any of them, as this was a goal I didn't think would be possible. I now needed to jack up my bat. That was going to be tough to do since most of the pitchers now knew my weak spots.
I found the Maitre D' and had him run my card so he knew the bill would be paid. I didn't know it, but Joe had already done the same thing with the wine bill. The executives were probably surprised they didn't have to pay for the party, but I was happy to. My teammates and coaches were having a good time. My girls and condo neighbors were having a great time too. That they wore the Ray's jersey with 'Matt' and my number 19 on it, was all that needed to be said.
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- 02.07.2022
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