Meredith and Derek Naked in SchoolThursday part 1
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Sa .6
By the time Arie, Zach, Derek and Christa arrived, somewhat late because they'd had to swing by and pick up Jenny, the party was in full swing. There was none of this "fashionably-late" stuff; evidently Meredith had gathered a pretty punctual crowd around her. There were a few presents, mostly the slim unmistakable profiles of DVD cases, of CD cases, of hardcover and paperback books; more often it was just an envelope with a gift card. Regardless, with (let's see here... Six plus four plus... ) fourteen people in attendance, there was quite a bit of stuff piling up. Though of course Zach's was nothing more than a gag license from a novelty store, something to do with how being sixteen is all the driver's license you need; but hey, it's Zach; and it made Meredith laugh, which knowing Zach was the whole point, so, who are any of us to complain.
And through it all, Meredith, curling golden hair and bright gray eyes, the charm of her laughter and the warmth of her smile, circulating, the gracious hostess and yet also the center of the party, managing to simultaneously serve and be served by the party around her.
Greetings. I'm Brandon Chambers. And you heard it here first: if you ever find someone who never stops captivating you, never let them go.
But, of course, there was more on her mind. "Excuse me," she said. "I have a quick announcement to make.
"My parents actually aren't in the house right now, due to a... Certain development in the family. As you know—or, if you don't, you're about to know... My brother, Michael, returned home this week from boarding school. He was sent away because some of his behavioral habits got out of control, namely those related to... Controlled substances. Recently he graduated from the inpatient program, and he returned to us on Monday. Unfortunately the program doesn't seem to have done much. Last night, because of... Some things I said, we uncovered evidence that he had... Returned to his old ways. Because he's reached his legal majority—"
"Reached his what?" Zach called.
"Being a major, stupid," Sajel said, "as opposed to being a minor? Duh..."
"Oh," said Zach. "I didn't know they have that."
"Because he's reached his majority," Meredith continued, "he was..." She sighed, grimaced. "Arrested. The police called my parents down to make some statements. They should be back soon, but they're not here right now. So. I thought it might be appropriate for you all to know. My brother is gone, and... It's basically my fault."
"Like anyone's gonna complain," Arie said immediately.
"So he's actually not here," Stasya said.
"No," Meredith said, "he's not. At least, not at the moment. My parents honestly aren't sure how to respond to this. What's going to happen to him in the near future is... Up for debate."
"How much did they find?" Zach asked.
"How should I know," Meredith said.
"Why do you care?" Sajel said.
"I'll take some!" Zach said brightly.
The room dissolved into laughter. Sajel suggested that Zach might as well, since he couldn't get any dumber. Jane said "Eeeeww!"—her normal response to anything vaguely dirty, illegal or otherwise morally corrupt—even while giggling. Gavin jumped up and called second dibs, at which point Emily grabbed him and tried to drag him down again. Jenny, I think, was used to us by now: she laughed as hard as anyone else. And Jeff Gainesborough sat and smiled, a loner watching the crowds.
As the room fell back to individual conversations, I pulled Meredith gently aside into the kitchen. "Meredith, you... You didn't have to say that."
"Yes, I did," she said. "I'd have to explain where my parents were going."
"Yeah, but..." I still wasn't sure why she thought her actions were a matter of reproach. "I don't understand why you're casting yourself as a villain in this. I think you did a good job."
She smiled at me then, something infinitely sad, like wisdom from beyond ages. "I guess it's something I'll never be able to explain to you."
"Well..." I said. "Regardless... I'm behind you one hundred percent. Whatever you think is right for you... I'm with you all the way."
"Thank you, Brandon," she said. And when we were finished hugging, she was the same old Meredith I've always known: bright, cheerful, always upbeat. But somehow I had a feeling that I ought to get to the bottom of this.
A little bit lost in thought, I followed Meredith back into the crowd in the family room, arriving just in time to hear Sajel ask, "So, what's up with them?"
"Who? Oh," said Christa. "We, uh. We ran into them at Golf Park. We talked."
"What are you talking about," Zach said, "we laid the verbal smackdown on their ass. We talked some sense into them."
"Who?" I said, suddenly tuning into the conversation.
Sajel pointed. "Derek and Arie."
I looked. Yes, there they were. Derek bent his head to murmur something to her, and she giggled a little bit.
"Now, they're still not, you know, actively touching each other or anything," Sajel said. "But at least they're near each other. Pretty big difference from before."
"Yeah," I said, "someone's done an impressive job."
"It was all Christa here," Zach said, draping his arm around her shoulders.
"No, actually, you helped a lot too," Christa said. "I think that story about the compromising really got to them."
"Aah," Zach said, waving it off, "only because it was about sex."
"I'm sorry what?" Meredith said suddenly, and I realized that she'd been zoned out, too, until that very second. "All I heard was the word 'sex'."
"Wow, Meredith," Sajel said. "Mind like a sewer. Good job. Plus four points."
"No, actually, it's a well-documented phenomenon," I said. "You know how, even if you're in a crowded room, you can hear when someone says your name?"
Sajel nodded. "Yeah."
"Well, it's basically the same. Your brain just naturally filters for certain sounds and words, and one of them is the word 'sex'."
Across the room, Stasya called out, "Wait: who just said the word 'sex'?"
"What?" Jane said from near the television. "Somebody just said 'sex'?"
"I dunno!" Stasya said, frustrated, "I can't tell who said it!"
Sajel glared at me. "Good job, Brandon."
"Penis," Zach said brightly. Oddly enough, no one noticed.
Leaving Meredith in safe hands for the moment, I wandered over to where Jane and Jeff were standing—not really talking to each other, but with just enough space in between them that I could squeeze in. "Soo..." I said. "How's it goin'?"
"Well, I'm—" Jeff said.
"Actually, it's—" Jane said.
They stopped. They glanced past me at each other. "Oh, I'm sorry, were you—" "My apologies, I should've—"
"Jane, Jeff Gainesborough, Jeff, Jane Myers," I said, feeling particularly pleased with myself. Meredith had invited Jane because she wanted her to be here, but Jane is not precisely the type of person who gets out and circulates. She's very shy, for whatever reason, at least until you get to know her. Jeff is, really, much the same. Now maybe these two would have someone to talk to—and a way to make friendships with members of the other group they wouldn't normally associate with. "Jeff knows Meredith through her best friend Stasya," I said. "And Jane and I used to date. A while back."
"Yeah, a little," Jane said, and I realized I should not have brought that up. There were still raw wounds there for her. Truth for true, they were there for me too, but when you've got someone like Meredith to focus on, a lot of other things fall by the wayside.
After that, there was silence for a while. I glanced around me and waited for one of them to bring up a topic—but neither did. Jane seemed still a bit angry, and Jeff (it occurred to me suddenly) was not really the type to initiate conversations of his own accord. He was comfortable with silence, a rare and noteworthy feature amongst people our age—but damned inconvenient if you're trying to get two people to make friends with each other. Especially since Jane was bristling so much—at this rate she'd wander off and I'd never get them in the same place again. Then I'd feel stupid. Jeff was a nice guy, and Jane... Well, to be honest, I felt like I owed her, a little bit. Now was a chance to pay off that debt.
"So, uhm," I said, picking a topic and throwing it at random. "Jeff, you're a... Sophomore, right?"
"Yep," he said. "Good ol'."
"Who's your English teacher," I asked.
"Crasilneck," Jeff said.
"Oh wow," Jane said. "I had him. How are you doing in that class?"
"I'm..." Jeff shrugged. "Surviving." He gave a wry smile. " 'Three hours of reading and writing a night, ' " he said, quoting Mr. Crasilneck's known-throughout-school credo for determining whether he was assigning his students enough homework.
"Lucky," Jane said. "It always took me four."
"What'd you get in that class," Jeff asked.
"A," Jane said.
"Well, that explains why it took you four hours," Jeff said, smiling. "I get B-minuses and call it a victory."
"I thought about doing that," Jane admitted. "I thought about doing that a lot. But, I mean... He's just an old teacher. I'm not gonna let him get me down."
"What math did you take," Jeff asked.
"Algebra II with Meninsky," Jane said.
I had gotten lost the minute they mentioned Crasilneck. Of course, I remembered the guy—Jane and I had been together through the second half of that year—but I'd lucked out and gotten Arvantely myself. Now, seeing that they were at least talking to each other—and with some animation; school is an important topic to Jane—I felt confident enough to take my leave.
Meredith snagged me. "Brandon, can you give me a hand? We're out of cookies." Her mother had started a plate of them circulating, and now they were all gone.
"Heehee. It's, like, a real actual party," I said.
"Except with Pepperidge Farm instead of hors d'oeuvre," she said.
In the kitchen Meredith broke open another box of cookies—Mrs. Levine had gotten several of the huge packs that are like as large as a box from Macy's or something; the scary thing is that she'd fit an entire box onto the plate—and started arranging them in concentric circles. I gave her a hand.
"Not quite what I expected on my sixteenth birthday," Meredith said.
"What," I asked, "not-what-I-expected worse or not-what-I-expected better?"
She paused, a handful of cookies clutched in her hands. "I dunno," she said. "Better in some ways. Worse in others."
"More worse or more better," I asked.
She turned to me, smiling. "Not everything is quite that simple, Brandon."
"Sure it is," I said. She was, of course, right, but upbeat optimism seemed more important than deep thoughts at the moment. "Are you happy? Are you having fun? Are you with people you like?"
She thought for a moment. "Yes," she said. "I love my friends, I love my boyfriend, I love my family. But... The real question is, am I the kind of person I want to be."
More of the ongoing puzzle fell into place. "Well, I can only speak for myself," I said, "but I figure that if I manage to make about half my goals, I'm doing pretty well. And, I can only speak for myself, but, I think you're just fine as you are. I mean, if you were any more pure or virtuous, you'd probably ascend up to Heaven right this instant and I'd never get to see you again."
Meredith laughed. "Selfish, aren't we?"
I beamed. "Yep."
"Well, that's okay," she said, stepping into my arms. "Because I love you."
"And I love you," I said.
I leaned in to kiss her, but she said, "Aack, aack, nope, no. You'll spoil the makeup."
"The make—! Ugh. Okay, that's enough. Come on." I took her hand and brought her back to the family room.
"Okay, guys," I said loudly, garnering everyone's attention, "everybody, I need a vote here. Who here thinks makeup is a good idea?"
There was a ripple of consideration around the circle. Some hands went up; some went down again; some wobbled.
"Who here thinks makeup is a good idea if it means you can't kiss your girlfriend," I asked.
"Me!—me!—oh wait," Zach said.
"Naaaaah," Caleb said.
"Yucky," Stasya agreed.
"Thumbs down," Derek said.
"Okay, so," I said, gesturing to Meredith. "Makeup. Makeup equals No kiss girlfriend. I want her to get rid of it. Who agrees?"
Just about every hand in the room went up. And at this point, no amount of makeup could have possibly hidden how much Meredith was blushing.
"See, there," I said, grinning. "The jury has spoken. Looking nice is all well and good, but only if it doesn't interfere with your boyfriend's ability to show you just how nice he thinks you look." Meredith gave me a weak grin in return.
"In that case, she should just go naked," Zach said.
Everybody stared at him.
"You know... He's got a point," Gavin mused.
"It's only logical," Arie put in.
"I think it makes sense," Derek said.
"What, that Meredith should go naked?" Arie said caustically.
Meredith found her voice somewhere. "Hey, if I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me."
"So what you're saying is..." Sajel said.
"We should all go naked!" Zach exclaimed.
There was a massive amount of collective blinking as we mulled this proposition over.
"I'm down with it," Christa said.
"Hey, we've mostly all been through The Program anyway," Gavin said.
"I haven't," Jane said.
"Neither have I," Jenny said.
"Then you don't have to go naked," Meredith told them. "No one does. But if anyone wants to... Hey, it's a free country."
No one moved.
"... Okay, uhm, somebody has to—" she said.
No one moved.
"I think Zach should have to go first," I said. "Since it was his idea."
"No, you came up with it earlier today," Meredith contradicted.
"So you should go first," Christa said, pouncing on the idea.
I blinked. "How come I always get stuck with initiating these things?"
"It's your lot in life," Sajel said gravely. " 'Brandon' and 'naked' just go together like peas in a pod."
"That doesn't make sense," Jane said, "one's a noun and one's an adjective."
Sajel snickered. "A lot of things about Brandon don't make sense."
"... True," said Jane.
I drew a tragic sigh. "Fine, then, if it must be. 'It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better—' "
"Yeah shut up and get nekkid," Zach said.
Arie rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll come too." She stepped over to where I was standing and pulled off her shirt. By the time I had started on mine, she was working on her pants.
"Hmm," Zach said. "Arie's still naked." And indeed, she had shaved her nether regions, and anyone who wanted to could see a lot.
Arie looked around at us suddenly and covered herself with a hand. "Err. Some places on the Internet, uh. Suggest that you, uh. That, uh, for reasons of hygeine."
"What she's really trying to say is," Christa interrupted smoothly, "that, according to current wisdom, if you shave down there, it feels better during sex."
"Really?" Stasya asked. "Does it?"
Arie blushed crimson. "Mm-hmm," she said in a tiny voice.
"Oooo," said Stasya, her eyes alight with possibility.
I suddenly noticed how Derek's eyes were fixated on Arie.
"Wait, I'm confused," Jane said. "What do you mean, 'still naked'?" She was standing behind us and couldn't see.
Arie turned.
"Oh my God," said Jane. "Can you... Do that?" Next to her, Jeff's eyebrows climbed like rockets, but he somehow kept his composure.
"You can do a lot more than that, sweetie," Arie said blandly.
Zach and Christa were half unclothed at this point, and I reached over to unfasten the single closure at the neck of Meredith's shirt. "Your turn."
Meredith shook her head. "I don't know why I let you folks get away with this."
When her shirt came off, it was like the floodgates opened. There was a lot of scrambling around as people tried to find logical storage places for their clothes so that things wouldn't get mixed up (something we clearly not had thought of), but within a few minutes, the only person who still had clothes on was Jane. There were surprises everywhere. For one, Arie wasn't the only naked one down below: Jenny was, too. Jenny! (Derek's eyes bugged out at that one.) The fact that Caleb went with it surprised me a little—he'd never been in The Program. But then, he's twenty. Maybe you pick up a bit more confidence at that age. Plus, he had Stasya to cover for him. It was also surprising (at least to me) that Jeff joined in; people like him just prefer to blend into the background. But then, having clothes on might have made him stand out.
And then there was Sajel. I wouldn't have been at all surprised if she'd declined, but evidently she'd decided to come clean. Christa saw it first: "Wait, Sajel, what's that on your..." And then trailed off as Sajel turned around.
Silence fell as if by magic.
"Oh my God," Meredith gasped. Her hand covered her mouth involuntarily. "I had no idea."
Sajel sighed into the wall. "Now you know why I'd never enter The Program."
"Or why you always refuse to wear a two-piece bathing suit," Christa murmured.
I knew—I'd seen them before. But no one else had. At least until now.
"It was... An accident," Sajel said. "When I was young there was a tree in the backyard over my house, a really big one, like, two hundred years old. My room was right near it. And one day, there was a storm, and lightning, and it... Came down. Took a chunk out of my room, set the house on fire, broke all the windows, including the one my bed was under... Came down right on me. I don't know how I'm still alive."
She had been lying on her back when it happened, so the only scars visible from the front side was one on her arm and another down near her hip, where branches had gone straight through her eight-year-old body. But I knew (she'd showed me) where the gaps in her hair were, and her shoulders and back and buttocks and upper thighs were a criss-cross of scar tissue. The few that were lower on her legs she had passed off as more normal childhood injuries. And she had never had a boyfriend, nor a sexual partner other than me.
"I guess that's why you never seem to be interested in dating," Meredith said.
"What would I do?" Sajel said, turning around again, giving us her normal side—which was well-formed and beautiful—and the deep, ancient pain in her eyes. "The first time he hugged me, he'd notice... And then what would happen? He might break up with me, he might not... He might tell everyone he knows, he might not... I might be ruined, I might not..."
"Saje, anyone who'd skip over you just because of that... Well, you probably wouldn't want him anyway." Surprisingly, it was Zach who spoke.
"Yeah but..." Sajel said, scooping hair away. "I know I'm not the greatest of girlfriends either. I tease everybody all the time—you, Zach, you know. Sometimes I feel like I can't open my mouth without saying something negative. And I'm not all that pretty and nobody looks at me like they would a potential girlfriend, just as a normal friend, and... God, I don't know what I'm going to do."
Christa hugged her. "Hush. It's okay. You'll find someone. We all have our burdens to bear." And Zach's arms descended around them both, and Sajel cried.
Meredith and I traded glances, and our hands found each other.
Jeff spoke up from behind me: "Now that's every man's fantasy right there." And the room dissolved into laughter again, while Sajel wiped her eyes and tried to muster her composure.
The front door opened, and I heard footsteps. "Hi, guys," Mrs. Levine said, "how's the party Oh my goodness."
Meredith and I turned and waved. "Hi, Mom. We're just encouraging a little outreach."
"Yes, I, uhm. I can see that," Mrs. Levine said.
"Wow," said Mr. Levine, coming up behind her. "Certainly makes me remember my younger days."
"Roger," Mrs. Levine scolded.
"Meredith, it's your party," he said, "and whatever you want to do is fine with us. But if this somehow gets back to us as a cause for trouble, we're not going to cover for you."
Meredith gulped.
"Roger, is that really necessary?" Mrs. Levine asked.
"I hope it isn't," he said, smiling. "I'm not trying to threaten you or anything, Meredith, but it comes down to one thing: it's your party. And what happens here is your responsibility. I don't know if all this is a good idea, so I'll trust your judgment, but that means you've got to make sure it stays a good idea. And if things start getting out of hand, you need to get in and put a stop to it. We'll help you if you need it, but it all comes down to you."
Meredith nodded. "I understand."
"Good," her father said, smiling. "Have fun, kiddo." He headed back towards the stairs.
"And I'm gonna get you some towels," Mrs. Levine said.
"And we've gotta finish with those cookies," Meredith said.
"And take all that makeup off," I told her. Using some water and a damp paper towel, she did.
It was strange: we'd been around each other a lot; we'd had sex; we were getting married for Christ's sake, at least probably... And yet, we'd never been naked together at the same time, except for having sex and aftermath cuddling. We'd never just done things naked, in other words. (Except for on Thursday, when we followed Michael around, but that doesn't count.) And let me tell you, even just laying out cookies becomes something else entirely when the person who's helping you has got no clothes on.
And what it meant was that, when Meredith and I brought back the tray of cookies, we brought back something else too.
"Wow, Brandon!" Zach said. "Strutting your stuff, eh?" He pointed, and if anyone else hadn't noticed I had a boner, they sure saw it now.
I admit it: I almost dropped the cookies and ran. But Meredith sallied in return: "Right, like you haven't got one, hugging two girls at once." Sajel seemed okay now, but he was still wrapped around Christa.
"Guilty as charged," Zach pronounced. "But Christa seems okay with it."
"Actually, I'm not," Christa said, looking up over her shoulder at him. "I wish you'd stop poking me."
"Hey, I could poke you in other places if you want," Zach said, eyebrows waggling.
"Aww—" Jane said, covering her face with her hands in disgust.
"Are you sure you can handle it, Zach," Derek called. "Maybe you'd better practice it first."
Arie, across the room, burst out laughing. Meredith and I traded confused glances. Practice? Huh? Was there something we had missed?
Mrs. Levine came back in with an armload of beach towels. "Okay," she said, "everybody stand up for a minute." And while everyone who had been occupying the couches and chairs stood up, she spread the towels over them. Instantly I saw the wisdom in her actions. You never think about it, but, really: if you're hosting a nude party, do you honestly want everyone's bare bums on your couch? Yeah, didn't think so. "Try not to make too much of a mess," she said, grinning, and headed out.
And then stopped. "Why, Jane. Not joining the festivities?"
Jane shrugged, averting her eyes, clearly uncomfortable with the attention. "No."
"Why not?" Mrs. Levine asked.
"Don't want to," Jane said. And then: "I haven't got a boyfriend anyway."
"Neither do I," I offered.
"Yeah, I'd think not," Jane retorted.
"Neither do I," Jeff offered, leaning in. "—Well. Girlfriend, I mean. Dangit, I haven't got either of 'em. But you don't see that stopping me."
"Yeah, but..." Jane protested. "You were in The Program."
"Caleb wasn't," I said. "Sajel wasn't. Jenny wasn't."
"Jenny?" Jane asked. "Derek's sister?"
"Yeah, she's over there," I said, pointing. But that was basically the whole rest of the room; how should I pick her out? Inspiration struck: "The other one who shaves down there."
"Oh," said Jane.
Mrs. Levine saw too. "My goodness," she said, her eyebrows skyrocketing.
"And besides," I said. "You could be in The Program, too, if you signed up."
"No, " Jane said, eyes wide.
Meredith looked over. "No what?"
"No, I'm not entering The Program," Jane said.
"Why not?" Meredith said. "You don't have anything to hide, do you? —The way Sajel does," she added hastily, when it looked like Jane might take offense. "I mean, yeah, we all have private parts. But, it's a new world nowadays. You can have a right to bare whatever you want."
"But what if you don't want to?" Jane asked.
"Why not," Meredith asked.
"I just... I don't think it's right," Jane said.
"Why not," Meredith said again. "What's wrong with being proud of the body God gave you? It's a pretty incredible piece of work, after all. And you're far from unattractive."
"No, that's not it," Jane said. "Yeah, it's... There's nothing wrong with being proud of your body. But I don't want people touching me."
"That does get intrusive at times," Jeff said. "It's like, you're trying to get to class and this girl's like, 'No, no, just two more minutes, ' and you get in and Crasilneck's like, 'And where have you been, young man.' Not exactly fun." I was personally impressed: it was the longest string of words I'd ever heard from Jeff.
"No, that's not it either," Jane said. "I'm... I don't think it's right to touch people in that way unless you love them and are going to marry them."
"Why not," Jeff asked.
But Meredith overrode him. "Well," she said, "no one's gonna do that here. We respect you."
"Yeah right," Jane said. "Look at you, you're all... Uh. You're... Um." She blushed. "Hard."
I glanced down at myself. Yep. Still hard. "Jane, that's pretty normal," I said.
"Yeah right," she said.
"No, it's true," I said. "At any given time, about ten percent of all guys in the world are hard. Why? No reason. Some of them may have to pee—you get erections if you really have to go because there's a valve that closes off when you're erect. Some of them may just be feeling warm and comfortable. A few of them may be having sex. And the rest of them just happen to be aroused for some reason. For instance, one of them happens to have his arm around his naked girlfriend, which is not really usual."
"It's true," Meredith said. "Guys get erections for no real reason. Or, sometimes, for the slightest of reasons. It happens to girls too." She shrugged. "Sometimes the strangest things set me off. It's just part of being alive. And being aroused doesn't mean you're gonna do something about it. You learn to live with it. It's part of being civilized."
"Maybe, but still," Jane said. "Zach's here. Like anything's gonna stay civilized for long."
"Zach!" Meredith called. We couldn't see him from where we were standing. "If Jane gets naked, are you going to molest her?"
"'Course not," Zach called back. "I've got my hands full."
"Of what?" Arie asked from somewhere else—she seemed to be on the couch over with Gavin and Erica.
"Err... You don't wanna know," Zach said.
Christa's bright giggle carried very well over the room.
"Well," Meredith said, turning back to us. "If he's busy over there, he won't come bother you. And no one else is going to either."
"Who knows," Jeff said. "You might like it. And where better to experiment than among friends?"
That was actually probably the wrong thing to say—in my experience, when Jane finds she likes something, it makes her avoid it even more. So it was much to my surprise when she looked at us and said, "Well... Okay. But I can put my clothes back on at any time."
"Of course," Meredith said. "No one's making you do anything, Jane. It's only if you want to."
"All right, I'll..." Jane tugged at the hem of her tie-dye shirt. She looked around (belatedly I noticed that Meredith's mom had disappeared). "Meredith, can I... Can I go use your bathroom to change? I don't wanna..."
"Sure, go ahead," Meredith said. "I'll come with you, if you like."
"Sheesh," I said, grinning. "How come women always go to the bathroom in packs?"
"No, I'll be... I..." Jane looked around helplessly, her mouth opening and closing. "Actually, I... Brandon, could you come with me?"
Now it was my turn to gape. I looked at Meredith. She seemed as flabbergasted as I was, but seeing my gaze turn, she gestured with head and arms, something to the effect of, Um, sure, I have no problem with it, I think, I'm mostly trying to get over the fact that she asked at ALL...
"Are you sure?" I asked Jane. I mean, why me? We sort of have history.
"Just... I trust you," Jane said. "I..."
This was all getting really weird really fast. I glanced back at Meredith and saw her give me a helpless shrugg. "Uh, sure, then," I said, "well, uh. Shall we?"
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