2014 A 50 Year Sex OdysseyChapter 9 Research and Development
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It didn't take me long to run home for my truck. I checked inside the house to make sure everything was straight and neat, or I would never hear the end of it from my mom. It appeared as if whoever they were using for a housekeeper had just finished. The place sparkled.
I arrived at the airpark at two twenty and parked at the Air Charter office. I had followed a company pickup in. Inside the office, DeDe was happy to see me again, "Hi, Dr. Feeny, or Sal, as you want to be called, you won't have long to wait. We were running ahead of schedule with a tailwind and your folks were waiting for us when we landed. They hardly gave the crew time for a potty break. They sure are anxious."
There was chatter over the radio speakers. DeDe gave me some instructions while pointing, "That's them now. They are on final approach and will be down in a couple of minutes. If you want to watch, stand out by the edge of the small aircraft hangar."
Being the typical gawker, I walked past the open hangar that had more than a dozen small aircraft parked inside. I watched the sleek jet touchdown on the main landing gear before dropping the nose gear and slowing down.
The plane was much bigger than I had thought it would be, but I really didn't have any experience with small jets. I watched as the aircraft went past the charter office, turned a hundred and eighty degrees, and stopped with the passenger door of the aircraft right in front of the office.
I could see the pilot and co-pilot doing various things through the front windscreen while the door to the aircraft opened and steps were lowered. A young lady in a uniform got off and stuck her hand out to help someone from the aircraft. Mom came down the couple of steps and stood looking around. Dad came down the steps, checking out the young lady who was obviously some kind of flight attendant.
A ground attendant pulled a big and small suitcase from a rear luggage compartment and carried them to my pickup truck. Mom and Dad were looking around for me when I walked back from the open door of the small aircraft hangar.
The folks were too excited to see me, considering I had only been gone a couple of weeks. Mom rained kisses on my face while hugging me, followed by a bone crushing hug from Dad. I was equally happy to see my folks.
I took them inside to meet DeDe, Star, and Betty, who were all busy getting ready for the afternoon pilot lessons. Once that was done, I took them to my truck for the drive to the trailer park. They already knew I lived in a mobile – well, manufactured – home park, but the reality didn't hit them until I was through the gate and circling to the back where my place was.
When we pulled up to my place, Dad made the comment, "This is a hell of lot friendlier looking than that apartment you had. It looks like people enjoy living here."
Mom was right there being observant, "How nice that someone planted all of these flowers around your trailer. It does make it homey."
Inside, the place was almost a shock to Mom. "Sal, you have a nicer kitchen than I do. This is beautiful."
Dad liked the one big family room with the big TV. "Man, you can watch TV sitting at that counter, can't you? I like the idea that you can see that big thing from anywhere in the room. This is great."
I took them into the front bedroom through the door on the side of the kitchen. Mom exclaimed, "Oh my, Honey, there is enough room in here to do some tall playing, isn't there?"
"Mom, enough said of that," Dad said in his authoritative voice. "You'll embarrass your youngest if you keep that up."
Dad pinched Mom's bottom and told her, "Keep your britches pulled up, Honey; we'll be back here before long to test this bed."
My parents were acting like teenagers.
After bringing their bags in and helping them get their clothes hung up, I said, "Now to show you off a little. This is early, so there won't be many people there, but it's a great time to meet some of the new moms and to play with the babies."
They both looked confused before I told them, "Just look around, meet the people, and watch. You'll get the idea real fast. This is the most unusual group of people you will ever meet. I don't know a lot of people real well yet, but I know surprisingly many. Come on, let's ride over."
When I directed them to get in my cart, Dad made the comment, "So here you're known as "Wild Sal Feeny" and "Doc Feeny" and how did they get your pictures for the caricatures?"
"Dad, who knows how they do everything they do? You'll get a feel for it as you visit. By tomorrow, you'll want to sell the ranch and move in with me."
"Not likely, Son, but I'm happy you've found a good group of people to live with."
"That's the best part, Dad," I proclaimed, while waving my hand around. "This is not just a good group to live around; it's a great group to work with. You'll see."
I took the long way to the patio to show them the rec centers, the sports complex, and even drove back by Chuck's place to give them an eyeball on his huge complex. I told Dad, "The guy who owns this is as common as grass. He's involved in all kinds of things and apparently has money bulging from his pockets. He doesn't act like it, and his family is really nice; unique, but nice."
When we stopped at the patio, my dad said to mom, "Now that is a Texas sized back porch. That's what I was trying for the last time I rebuilt that thing at home. I just didn't make it big enough."
As I walked in, Steve and Sue got up from a table near the bar and came to meet my folks. Dad took one look at Steve and asked, "Are you from Texas or do you just wear comfortable clothes?"
Sue laughed, "No, he's not from Texas, but I don't think he owns anything besides western pants, jeans, and boots. He does have T-shirts and a couple of white shirts."
As we talked and moved toward the bar, more of Steve's women came out of the house. First it was Giovanna, the Italian beauty who walked up to us. I don't know how Mom knows these things, but she greeted Giovanna in her native language. You would have thought it was Giovanna's mother the way she hugged Mom. While they yapped away, Steve introduced my folks, or at least my dad to Mercy, Kathy, Juanita, and Mickey."
Glenda came out, and I put my arm around her to introduce her myself, "Dad, Mom, this is Glenda. I have coffee with her and Steve every morning. It's a great way to begin my day."
More women began coming from the house, so I held up my hand, "Okay, Ladies, I'll try to get this right, but you are a bunch to remember." Some of the women were carrying babies, while others were anxiously looking back toward the living room. I went through all of them and apparently got them right. Mom did her Italian thing with Gina, who was as demonstrative as Giovanna.
Steve told my folks, "While you're here, I'll try to put you straight on how I came up with such a big family."
That's when Mom choked, "How many of these women are yours?"
Steve gave a sheepish grin and told them, "Only six, but you should see the pile of kids I have. It's a blast."
Both Mom and Dad were immediately skeptical. Steve saw it and tugged on Dad's arm, "Come on, have a beer. It's almost Miller time anyway."
Dad followed Steve, and Mom staggered a little but followed them. The girls all gave me a hug before going inside. Damn, these women were all just wonderful.
Mom quietly asked me, "If the first bunch was Steve's, who do the others belong to?"
I looked at her as casually as I could, "Chuck and Lisa. They will all tell you that they belong to Chuck and Lisa. I'm not sure how that works yet, but I'll probably figure it out."
"Give me a beer, Son. I think I need something after that meeting. You said you have a special friend, is she coming here?"
"Mom, don't panic, but I have five special friends who are all single moms and who have great jobs right here in the company. You'll like them."
Mom pulled my head down to whisper in my ear, "Sal, you can only marry one. What will you do with the rest?"
"Don't worry, Mom, you'll see when you meet them."
Dad and Steve had been having a conversation near us and I could tell Dad was warming to Steve and to Sue who was with him. Of course, Dad had trouble taking his eyes from Sue's enormous chest but he was being tantalized by Gina and Giovanna who were on the patio, and the luscious sight of Grenaline had him weak in the knees.
Mom saw the way he was devouring the young Grenaline and Niki, who was cutting up with her. Ding dong, if they're here, their mothers can't be far behind.
Rita walked in the patio and came straight for me, embraced me, and gave me a great kiss right on the mouth. Before I could introduce her, Jenny walked in and came straight for me. I could see both Mom and Dad looking between Jenny and Grenaline. As if planned, which I'm sure it was, Marilyn slinked in, using her sexy walk that would create an interest from any man. I received her kiss and was immediately hugged and kissed by Janet, and her daughter, Donna, who kissed my cheek and went to be with the other two girls.
The final lady made her entrance. Suki sparkled from the doorway all the way to me. My folks had to do the checking between Suki and Niki as the mother approached. The tiny wonder jumped up, wrapped her legs around my waist, and put a lip lock on me that was mind bending. As she dropped her feet to the ground, she announced, "I'm not the biggest, but I try to make the biggest entrance."
As if choreographed, Kathy was nearby and said, "Mr. and Mrs. Feeny, these five women are trying to occupy all of your son's time. You'll have to talk to them about how they do that, but I'm sure it is a fun story."
"The first lady that came in is Rita, who Sal met in Panama City Beach. The total fox, with the equally foxy daughter, is Jenny. I think choosing between the Jenny and Grenaline would be a difficult choice. Marilyn is our most vocal, so don't pay a lot of attention to her. She's always talking. Janet is a gentle doll, as is her daughter, Donna. Sal has already been good for her. And this little one next to the rest of them is Suki, who has an equally cute daughter, Niki."
The five women were lined up so Mom and Dad could look them over. I could see the look on the girls' faces as they all wanted to be accepted by my parents.
It was Mom's turn to get excited "Is this who you said you were being friendly with? Sal, these are all beautiful women. I just have to learn more about each of you. I hope we will have time to visit."
Rita, ever the smart one, "We're not going anywhere. It's time for a beer or evening drink, so let's grab a table and visit."
Dad took hold of my arm, "Kid, I know the look a woman has in her eye for her man, and all five of them have that look. You better be careful, or one of them is liable to be on the jealous side of mean."
I quietly answered Dad, "I asked that same question, Dad, but they all say we are just going to be special friends. They all live next door to me and I'm sure they rearranged their places to get me in the middle. I'll keep my eyes open, Dad, but so far, so good."
Steve came up to us and asked Dad, "How about some of the girls' killer chicken wings. Sal is one of just a few who can eat them. I'm told he takes after you."
"Bring 'em on, Steve. I am a mite hungry."
Grenaline and Niki came over to be introduced. When I introduced the two to Dad, Grenaline gave her vamp best to rub around on poor Dad, and of course, Niki was trying but just not built for the same effect. I introduced them to Mom, who couldn't get over how similar the girls were to their mothers.
Dad said, "Looks like the moms are going to have some competition with their daughters."
"Not really, Dad. Grenaline is a tease and loves to lead guys on. She's smart and is in a pre-med course of study. Niki is just about to begin college too. These women are not dumb blondes or brunettes. You'll be impressed while you're here, as they are all above average."
Mercy was watching Dad as he ate one of her most vicious wings. He didn't even reach for his beer as he reached for another wing. Mercy came up to us and commented, "No wonder Sal didn't even flinch when he ate our wings. You just had some as if they were candy."
Dad laughed, "Sal, call your sister and have her send you a jar of her new sauce. It almost hurts it's so hot. You'll love it."
Mercy poked Steve, got his cell phone, and handed it to me, "Call her, call her right now. Kathy and I have to have some."
I gave his phone back to her and called Sis on my phone. "Hey, Sis, this is Sal." There was a pause before, "I'm fine and doing well down here in Florida. If you get a chance, you'll have to visit. You know Mom and Dad are visiting, and Dad says you have a new hot sauce that's great. How do I talk you out of a jar and the recipe? I have some new friends who love hot stuff."
Sis said she would send it out this evening as she had to go by the airport post office. She said she and my niece and nephew were going to be in Lubbock to go to the mall for some shopping. She chatted for a minute and asked for Mom. I gave Mom my phone and the two were off to the races. I swear they talk every day and often, like right now, they have an extra couple of minutes and just yak and yak.
My dad was telling me, "If you like that phone, you'd better collect it from your mom right away. She can make a cell phone disappear faster than a magician."
Since we were sitting at the bar with Mercy and Kathy, Mercy pointed at my dad's near empty beer mug and told him to watch the mug. The mug began dematerializing. Just like Star Trek. It faded right out. Dad asked, "Does she make cell phones disappear like that?"
We were sitting at the bar with Dad's hand almost where the mug had been, when a full mug appeared. Mercy winked at Dad as she got up and went inside the house.
"For all that's holy, that was one of the best tricks I've ever seen."
Steve told Dad, "You'll have to go the club and watch Mercy perform with her mom and dad. Merlin, her dad, is one of the most accomplished magicians you'll ever meet. Then after you think you've seen everything, Mercy and her mom will begin reading minds of people in the audience, picking out who might be having the most radical thoughts. It makes for great entertainment."
As we sat at the bar, more and more people came in and were introduced to Mom and Dad. We were hearing some music coming from the house, which isn't all that unusual, but it was a little early for Donny and Marty. Gina was still at the bar with Giovanna, and told us, "Chuck and Lisa are playing with Bonita. Bonita wanted to learn a new song."
After listening for a minute, Dad asked, "If I didn't know the man was dead, I'd swear that's Les Paul in there and that voice has to be Mary Ford. I have to see this."
I took Dad into the house, looked around the corner of the huge living room area, and in the far end, Chuck and Lisa were messing with what they called their controller as they pushed buttons and turned dials. Lisa kept singing a single note while Chuck and Bonita were doubling and tripling the reverb echoes. When they felt they had it right, Chuck began playing the lead in, with Bonita playing a rhythm background on her acoustic while monitoring the console, and Lisa was playing a bass as she came right in with the vocals.
If you closed your eyes, you could have seen Les Paul up on stage with Mary Ford hugging a microphone. It was that good, that close to the real thing. They did an extended version, with Chuck playing a longer solo, before going through the reverbed lyrics one more time. When they were done, Bonita was happily punching buttons on the console again. The little girl said, "We got that one down perfect. I heard it on YouTube and knew we could do a good job on that one. Don't you just love the way the voice can be doubled and tripled?"
Dad said to me in a low voice, "That was amazing, Sal. You say those two are Chuck and Lisa? Are they professional musicians?"
"They might be, Dad but they are also pilots, and I believe Deputy U.S. Marshals. I don't know how they do everything, since Chuck is supposed to have an island paradise off the coast of Costa Rica that is something special. Like I told you, Dad, keep your eyes open and enjoy these people. Wait until you hear that little girl play her electric guitar or her fiddle. She is an amazing talent."
As we walked out onto the patio, Mom was still holding the five girls' attention, and they had now been joined by the three daughters present.
From nowhere, I was attacked by two girls of about thirteen, who were determined to use me for a Mount Everest climbing demonstration. Rita's twins ended up on a knee each and asked in twin speak, twin one, "Is this," twin two, "your dad", twin one, "from Texas," twin two, "Is that," twin one, "your mom," twin two, "talking to," both twins at once, "our mom?"
I thought Dad was going to roll on the floor. Steve told Dad, "Twin boys aren't nearly as bad as girls. My Danny and Manny don't finish each other's sentences. I think they draw straws to see who will talk."
"Dad, these two are Janice and Joan. You don't have to know who is one or the other. I think they've been switching identities for so long that even they have forgotten who they really are." The cute little almost grownups gave Dad a big smile and a handshake before they vanished among the many other kids.
Mercy was back out with more killer wings, but this time, Chuck and Lisa were following the smell of hot sauce. Mercy said, "I have triplets with two girls and they do their thing just like Rita's. The third is a boy and he's smart. He sits back and watches his sisters do all of the talking."
Sue was funny at that point, "Just like his dad. Steve has become a better talker over the years, but you still have to drag some things out of him."
By this time, the patio was near capacity, or at least it seemed that way, as everyone was crowded up in the space around the bar. Mom and the five women and their three daughters were sitting back laughing now, so the intense part of their getting to know each other routine must be complete. Knowing Mom, I'm sure she'll catch each one by herself for a quick chat. Is she nosy? Could she be curious about her son, or being a protective mama bear?
The lady I knew as Peaches hollered from the top of the stairs, "All right you kids, set the tables and wash your hands. Supper will be ready in just a few minutes."
Mom and Dad now had the opportunity to watch what I had already found remarkable. All of the kids were instantly busy putting tablecloths on the tables, and carrying out dishes, glasses, and flatware. There was going to be something good for supper, because steak knives were being added. You knew it wasn't grilled steak, as there was no one cooking at the bar.
While we were watching, the massive person known as Donny, with the darling Gerry, came to me. Donny said, "So introduce me to your folks, Sal. You'll get to meet mine this weekend." I was able to get Mom to break away long enough to introduce her to the two people I worked with at the R&D complex. Donny told my dad, "You gotta watch these computer geeks. They make all kinds of crazy things happen. It's already happening over at our building, as we're able to get on the secure system now from anywhere. I don't know how he did that so fast, but he has made it happen and the IT people are all blaming it on Sal."
This made Dad proud. Dad confidentially told Donny, "If you want to see some fancy ridin' and ropin, have him show off for you. Just about the time you think you have him figured out, he'll put on a six gun exhibition on that'll knock your socks off."
Donny reached out, and with too much ease, pulled me to him for a man hug. "I like this guy. We're already working real well together. Good son you have here, Mr. Feeny."
Mom and Dad had not been on the ground five hours and I was sure they were sold on the place.
Supper was large slabs of country fried steak with mashed potatoes, lots and lots of gravy, green beans, and apple sauce. I thought of the lady gambler and the chicken fried filet she had ordered. I wondered how she was doing. Dad was in hog heaven, chowing down on the good food. Mom was a healthy eater, but it was usually after she put in a physically tough day.
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