Permanent Reassignment - Part 17 free porn video

Permanent Reasignment - Part 17 by Kerrin Campbell Once again I would like to extend a big thank you to Cynthia and Shadhow Blonde for some great comments during the writing of this part. Chapter 40 ---------- The alarm on my phone jolted me out of a deep slumber but I had no desire to move, or even open my eyes. I was exhausted and just wanted to go back to sleep. Groggily, I reached out to pick up my phone and squinted at the brightness as I unlocked it. It was only 4:15am. "Just ten more minutes," I thought to myself as I hit the snooze button and closed my eyes once more. But it was too late. As I tried to claim those few more precious minutes of sleep, my mind began to stir. First, I recalled fleeting moments of the day before, being sent home by Melissa, my interview with Jeff, the unexpected conversation with Erin, my makeover and bra fitting and then the arguments with Kiera later that night. I felt empty and hollow, played out from the fights of the night before and resigned to going into work, feeling alone and unsupported by Kiera. And then slowly my mind shifted to running through a mental checklist of all the things that I needed to do just to get ready. My hair. My makeup. Those were the reason why I had set my alarm for so early. All of this was so alien to me that I had no real idea of how long getting myself ready would even take me, let alone whether I would end up looking like a clown. Now, I wished I had tried at least one practice session the night before. But how could I with Kiera around? Then there was work itself and Melissa. I pictured myself standing in her office, the ignominy of having to face her for yet another inspection, having to tell her that Kiera wasn't going to attend the show tomorrow night, having to explain why I hadn't sent her my second video, and.... there was dealing with Haley, and... organizing the last-minute tour for the senior execs and.... "Ugh!" I just wanted to pull the covers back over my head and hide. For a moment, I wondered whether Melissa would believe me if I called in sick but then I feared that missing another day would only make my fate ultimately even worse. Finally, I crawled off the sofa a few minutes before the alarm went off again and walked over to the kitchen in desperate need of caffeine. Time stands still for no man and as I put the coffee maker on, I saw that it was already 4:25am. To get to the office by 7:00am I decided that I needed to leave the apartment by 6:00am which left me only 1.5 hours to get ready. If I was going to do this, I could no longer put off what I had to do and so as the coffee brewed, I went to the coat closet and got out everything that I had purchased hair and makeup-wise over the last few days and spread it all out on the kitchen counter. I was shocked by just how many different items I had purchased. There was the Olaplex and the shampoo and conditioner for blonde hair, the hair mask, the heat protectant, the serum, a spare pink scrunchie, a boar bristle brush and the hot rollers, and that was just for my hair. Then there was the moisturizer, tinted moisturizer, bronzer and powder blush that I had got from the first cosmetics counter, along with the skin care kit, the eye lash curler, mascara and concealer that I had got from Danielle on Tuesday night. Then last night, I had added the primer, yet more concealer, foundation, more blush, lipstick, foundation and blush brushes, Micellar water and the cotton wool balls. All of that represented close to $1,000 of debt charged to my card. Items that I didn't even want! But it wasn't just the cost of the items that was so overwhelming, it was that I was expected to use - and know how to use - each and every one of them, starting today, here and now. For a moment, I cursed Melissa. I thought about the unfairness of what I was going through all over again and the arguments with Kiera and how I was trapped in the middle. Kiera was right, of course Melissa was a bitch. But Melissa was right too in asking why couldn't Kiera be at least a bit understanding as to the situation I was in and what I was going through? Why couldn't either of them put themselves in my shoes, just for a moment? In frustration, I was about ready to sweep everything off the counter and into a trash bag, but then I stopped. What would that achieve? Going to work, only to be sent home again by Melissa like some naughty schoolboy? Nothing short of quitting would change anything or make any of this go away and the truth was, I was still more afraid of the consequences of that right now than continuing. Giving in to what Melissa expected me to do, I put her body lotion in my handbag so that I wouldn't forget it again and then poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down on a stool. I reminded myself that Danielle had sent me a step-by-step guide for my morning makeup routine. It gave me somewhere to begin at least and so I opened her email as I sipped on the hot coffee. All I had to do, in theory, was follow her plan and as I read through her list, I put each item that she wanted me to use to one side, in the order in which I was to use them. By the time I reached the end, I cleared all the other makeup items off the counter and put them in a bag out of the way. That just left the hair products to sort through. I remembered that Meredith had told me that I only needed to wash my hair every 5-7 days and so I decided that this seemed more like a task for the weekend where I would have more time, like it was some major event. Then out of nowhere, I thought of Madison Ward, a girl who was in my senior class at high school, a homecoming queen with a luxuriant thick dark mane that reached down to her lower back. "Sorry, I have to wash my hair," had seemed like an often-used excuse used by her to get out of doing something she seemingly didn't want to do. A girl obsessed by her looks and her hair. She came across as vain, but now I had a different perspective. What if she had been telling the truth? What if hair this long just took that much effort for basic care? Would I soon be doing the same thing, making excuses, foregoing certain activities just so I could attend to my required "beauty routine"? With that thought, I put away the Olaplex and the shampoo along with the conditioner and the hair mask and the pink scrunchie quickly followed, but that still left the unopened box containing the hot rollers. I sighed as I looked at the outside of the box. "For voluminous hair, glamorous waves and head turning bouncy curls," it stated with a picture of a blonde-haired woman with a mass of curls and another picture of the rollers inside. "Sets curls in minutes, lasts for hours." "Some curl," Melissa had told me and I really hoped that my hair wouldn't end up like the picture on the box. Reluctantly, I opened the box and lifted out the heating unit with the rollers inside and then a dozen white jaw clips. There were 12 rollers in total, half of them with pink ends and the others six with black ends and on the side of the box the description stated that inside, there were six "large 1.5-inch rollers" and six "jumbo 2-inch rollers." I thought back to Taylor showing me how to use them in the salon on Tuesday evening and how it had all seemed simple enough back then, but now I had to do it myself, and for real, it felt much more daunting. If I messed this up, how would I fix it? Would I have to wet my hair down and wash them out? And what did putting "some curl" into the sides and back even really mean? How much was "some?" Whatever I did, I was sure Melissa would find fault with it. Danielle had made everything seem easy with her step-by-step instructions and so I looked for an instruction book inside the box. The double-sided sheet that I found hardly seemed adequate, but there was at least a section on "How to Curl your Hair," with five steps and five pictures of a pretty looking blonde model. The first two were a reminder of what Taylor had showed me in the salon: "1. Working from ends to roots, roll a 1-2" section of hair around a roller and wind toward scalp. 2. Roll up hair firmly, and secure clip around the roller." But as I continued onto step 3, I discovered that just like with makeup, nothing is ever that simple: "3. Allow the rollers to set for 10-20 minutes before removing them. For tight, firm curls, use smaller rollers and a higher temperature. For soft, wavy curls, use larger rollers and a lower temperature." Thoughts of ending up with "tight, firm curls," like the model on the box was definitely not what I wanted and I quickly scanned over the rest of the page looking for more information on the heat settings. Finding nothing I frantically turned the page to the other side under and found under the "How to Operate," section just one obscure sentence. "Use the control dial to choose from 12 variable heat settings to obtain the desired temperature for your hair type." And that was it! I looked over both sides of the sheet again convinced that I must have missed something. I didn't even know what my hair type was. Were extensions a hair type of their own? Could I actually ruin my $1,600 worth of extensions if I got them too hot? Noticing the bottle of heat protectant on the counter and remembering Meredith's warning that it was important for hair with extensions to use some heat protectant told me yes, I could. I swallowed anxiously and then began to get annoyed with Taylor. Why hadn't she told me about any of this? That was until I remembered that she had wanted to tell me more, but I had been in a hurry to get to the store. I was always in a hurry now, just like this morning. Feeling guilty for having directed some of my frustrations towards Taylor, I decided that I would rely on applying a liberal amount of heat protectant and then using nothing higher than a mid-range setting hoped that it would be both hot enough and yet not too hot. Then I finished reading the steps that she had not been able to show me. "4. Once rollers are cool to the touch, remove them one at a time. Support roller in one hand while removing clip with the other and gently drop roller (DO NOT PULL) allowing the curl to bounce back after roller has been completely removed. 5. Let cool for one minute for a firmly set curl, and then comb through hair with fingers for bouncy, voluminous curls and waves that last all day." All day? The box had said "lasts for hours" and now inside it was "all day." Suddenly I thought back to how I had arrived home on Tuesday evening wearing my skirt and heels and Kiera seeing me. Now, tonight, I'd not only be wearing those, but in addition, I would be wearing makeup with my hair curled and a bra too. Even if I could find somewhere to change and remove the makeup, she would still know that I had given in to Melissa over my hair and more.... I hadn't even warned her about the bra yet. Once more, I felt anger building up inside me. My mom had never curled her hair. Kiera had never curled her hair, at least not while we had been together. How, out of the three of us, did I end up being the one who had to curl HIS hair? Melissa Effing Johnson! That was how! A woman whose hair was considerably shorter than mine and also devoid any of any curls. A woman who had yesterday tied a ribbon into my hair just like she had done with her own daughter. "I love how I feel more feminine and girlish when I wear a ribbon in my hair," I heard my own voice reciting in my mind and I felt a shiver run through me. Conscious of the time, I carried the unit over to the kitchen counter ready to plug it in, but then stopped. I still didn't feel that confident that I really knew what I was doing here. Danielle had given me videos of women doing their makeup and I could see exactly what I needed to do. But five pictures and the limited directions in the leaflet didn't seem nearly enough. I then recalled that Taylor told me there were hundreds of videos online and I took my phone and searched for videos on "hot ceramic rollers long hair." I immediately found a ton of hits and I began with the one at the top titled, "How to get perfect curls with hot rollers, "that had nearly 150,000 views by a twenty-something vlogger with over 11,000 subscribers and 100+ videos. I then watched another that was auto-cued next with over 42,000 views for achieving "bouncy curls" because it used the same brand of hot rollers that I had purchased. As a third video started, I suddenly realized the time. At 16 minutes and 12 minutes long respectively, the two videos had eaten up another 30 minutes of my time and it was already close to 5:05am. "Watching the videos and reading the articles won't help if you don't put the time in front of the mirror and just go for it," Danielle had told me the night before and I realized now that I wasn't going to learn anything new. All I was doing now was procrastinating from doing what I really didn't want to do. Despite the time, I tried not to panic. Taylor had told me to leave my rollers in for 15-20 minutes while I did my makeup which gave me a rough idea how long everything should take. 20 minutes to do my hair, 20 for my makeup and ten minutes to get dressed. I was still okay, but I couldn't delay any more either. I quickly plugged the hot rollers in and went to the bathroom to wash my face and have a clean shave. According to the instructions, the hot rollers only took a couple of minutes to heat up and so, by the time I had finished washing my face and having a shave, I expected them to be ready. But as I went back into the kitchen to retrieve them, I caught whiff of a worrying smokey smell. I rushed over quickly, terrified that they might be on fire, but as I opened the top, I saw that they were all fine. Realizing they must have just been burning off any newness, I was still surprised by this indication of how hot they were. Then curious, I picked up one of the rollers by its edges and dabbed a fingertip against the middle and pulled it back sharply as I confirmed just how hot it was. With Taylor, there had been no heat and winding my hair around the roller hadn't had any effect. Now, it was obvious to me that this was not going to be the case this time. I unplugged the unit and carried it to the bathroom since this was the only place that I had access to a mirror while thinking of the irony that Kiera had an entire vanity that she hardly ever used. Yesterday, I had stood in front of the same bathroom mirror holding a pair of scissors in preparation to chop off my hair, now I was getting ready to curl it. I removed the scrunchie that I had slept with overnight and sprayed a generous amount of heat protectant onto my hair and then brushed it through. It was then that the tricky part began. In all three videos, the instructors had divided their hair into a top and bottom layer. Two of them had used a large clip to secure the top section out of the way while they rolled the lower section first, but I didn't have any clips. Then it occurred to me that I could improvise by using the jaw clips that came with the rollers. After securing the top section out of the way, I then divided the underneath section into two parts, just like the videos had shown me, separating my hair down the middle at the back and drawing the hair round to my front for easier access. Finally, I was ready to begin. In both videos, the women had started with the smaller diameter rollers first, so I did the same, roughly dividing off a section of hair about 1.5 inches wide. Then, remembering how hot they were, I carefully took one of the smaller rollers out of the container by its edge and nervously began to wind the ends of the hair around the roller with my other hand, before tucking the ends under. This was all so very wrong, I thought as I looked at my reflection holding my outstretched hair. But then I began to roll it up slowly and steadily towards my scalp before securing it with one of the white jaw clips. As I took both hands away from the roller, I half expected it to fall out and clatter into the sink. But aside from a little drop as I let it go, it stayed in place perched on my head. I felt a mixture of accomplishment in having done it and also a little anxiety as I realized that my hair was now already beginning to conform itself to the shape of the roller with the heat. Already, it was too late to turn back now and so I took another of the smaller rollers and wound that one in as well and then repeated the same until all my bottom pieces were done. It was a strange sight, seeing my hair wound up in the rollers, just like the women in the videos and on the instruction leaflet. It was also an odd sensation with the extra weight on my head and the hair being off my neck for the first time in several days. I did a quick time check to see how I was progressing and was shocked to see that it was almost 5:25am. It had taken me nearly 15 minutes to get the first six in. At this rate, by the time I would be finished, the first roller would have been in my hair for nearly 30 minutes and that was before I had even started my makeup. Realizing that I needed to speed up, I unclipped the top layer of hair and began to roll that up in the same pattern of three of the larger rollers either side. While I did so, I debated whether I should remove the first rollers before I began my makeup, or after, as Taylor and the videos had both suggested. It was close to 5:40am by the time I had finished rolling my hair up and surprisingly my arms were aching slightly from being raised for so long. This was almost like an odd kind of work-out. But now getting more anxious over the time, I decided to just move ahead with my makeup. I quietly went back to the kitchen, worried about waking Kiera up and noticed how the slightly loose rollers bobbed against my head with each step. The last thing I needed was for her to see me prancing around with my hair in rollers getting ready, so I quickly collected everything else that I needed and returned to the bathroom. I then propped up my phone by the wash basin in front of the mirror and got ready to proceed step by step along with Danielle's recommended videos. The first three steps, as I cleansed, toned and then moisturized, were easy enough to follow and went quickly and while I was unhappy that I had to do it, I was at least gaining some confidence in that I could follow along. More importantly, I felt that I was starting to catch up some of my lost time. But as I squeezed out a small amount of primer onto the back of my hand and then began to apply it with my fingertips, I also realized that I was now transitioning from "skin care," as Danielle had described it, to "makeup." Next was the foundation and this was the step that I was most nervous about. Danielle had made it seem so simple in the store but none of the previous steps had required that much skill. Applying the powder foundation and blush with brushes seemed much more like they would depend on technique and experience to me, and I lacked both. The pressure was now on. Not to do it right for Melissa, but more for myself since I didn't want to look like a total idiot to the rest of the world outside and draw even more attention to myself than was necessary. It was already 5:48am but I realized that if I tried to rush this step and the next, I ran a greater risk of messing everything up completely. Still, my heart sank as I noticed that the next video was 8 minutes long. With over 780,000 views and 16,000 likes, I could see why Danielle had recommended this video to me, but as I listened to the introduction, I had to fight the urge to just skip forward to the parts where the instructor would show me what I just needed to do. In many ways, it seemed like I was getting an entry level class and a masterclass all in one. A common mistake I learned, is that many women use too much powder which leads to a "cakey" look. Another pro-tip was that they did not take enough time to blend the product into their skin with the brush. I wondered, would I dare comment or pass along one of the tips I had learned with any of my female colleagues? Most definitely, NO!!!!! But with these things in mind, I lightly swirled my brush into the powder to collect some of the foundation and then tapped off any loose excess. Then I began to blend the powder into the areas around my cheeks, forehead, chin and nose and then my neck by lightly moving the brush in circular motions over one half of my face, counting off for a full sixty seconds, like the women in the video had stressed. As soon as I finished one half of my face, I could clearly see a contrast between my left side and right side. I thought that the results were surprisingly good for a beginner, even if I did say so myself, and they settled my nerves that everything was not going to fall apart at the last minute. But still, while there had been some ambiguity over whether I was wearing makeup or not the day before with just the tinted moisturizer, there was no doubt today that I had makeup on and I was sure that I was going to get comments about that at work. I repeated the procedure on the other side of my face with another application of powder for sixty more seconds, again not deviating from any of the directions for a moment, and I then checked myself over once more. The woman in the video had said that she always used two applications, even for a light look, but I knew from the videos that this also meant that the applications would build up on top of each other and thus look thicker which was something I wanted to avoid. Plus, it was almost 6:00am. Another application each side meant at least another 2-3 minutes and Danielle had only applied one layer from what I could tell, so I made the decision to stick with what I had done and moved onto the next step in Danielle's list. Fortunately, the 8-minute video had covered the application of foundation, concealer and blush and so I was ready to move straight onto the next step. In her email, Danielle had noted that concealer was something optional and that I should use it only if I noticed dark circles under my eyes or blemishes on my skin. Given how tired I was, it was no surprise that I did have some bags under my eyes, but after watching the video I realized that I didn't have any sponges to blend the concealer with, which is what the instructor had used. Also, I didn't have the time, so I skipped on to the next step which was the blush. Using the blush brush that Danielle had sold me, I dipped it into the powder and tapped off the excess before making a big smile to locate the "apple" of my cheeks like the video had stressed. I felt like an idiot grinning at myself like this, but then I anxiously dabbed the tip of the brush against the outer edge of one of my "apples" and using light circular motions for a count of 15 seconds, I applied the color along my cheekbone towards my hairline. I then did the same on the other cheek. As I stopped again and examined my reflection, I felt a shiver run through me. I had done it and without messing up. But now, there was undoubtedly a hint of more color to my cheeks which seemed to give my face more of a healthy glow than was normal and that also added a more sculpted look to my cheeks, seemingly making them appear bigger. For a moment, I felt a sudden panic-stricken urge to wipe my face with my hand and try and clean everything off. But this was exactly what Melissa wanted. It was 6:02am and I should already have been out of the door and on my way to the BART about now. Fortunately, I was able to skip the next steps of Danielle's instructions as they related to eye makeup and that just left my lips. I grabbed the "Creamy Nude" shade and opened it, looking at the tip anxiously. I had a clear memory of how Danielle had applied it, but I watched the short video just in case there was something I had missed. Then, nervously, I placed the tip against the center of my upper lip and began to dot it onto my Cupid's bow and then the plump part of my lower lip. Then, having done that, I swiped the lipstick from the center out to the corner of your upper lip, one way and then the other and then the same on the bottom lip. As I blotted off the excess with a tissue, I realized that this was it. I was done. As I threw the tissue into the trash, I then began to notice just how much waxier my lips now felt. This was the only part of the makeup that I really could feel a difference, but because of this I had to fight a strong urge to keep opening and closing my lips and licking it with my tongue which I knew would only rub it all off. To distract myself, I quickly collected all my makeup items and placed them in a separate bag in the closet and then debated whether I should take my rollers out now before getting dressed or after. The first roller had now been in my hair close to an hour and I was already nervous that somehow this would translate to a tighter, firmer curl. So, I rushed back to the bathroom, ready to remove them. Of course, it was impossible to remove the lower set of rollers before removing the top ones, so I started with the upper ones first. I began with one at the front, so I could see more easily how they had turned out, supporting the roller with one hand as I removed the clip with the other, nervous as to how this was going to turn out. Then, as I gently dropped the roller, allowing it to unravel from its own weight, I remained somewhat in the dark until the roller was completely removed and then I saw the soft curls and waves spring back upwards as though they were now liberated. For a moment I just stared at it, shocked at just how bouncy and voluminous the curls looked. Had I left them in too long, or used too high a setting? Then anxiously, I proceeded to quickly remove the other 11 rollers. Add "some curl" Melissa had told me, but what I saw in the mirror was a headful of large defined curls cascading down as rippling waves either side of my head. For a moment I panicked, not sure that this was what Melissa had in mind, but then I remembered Step 5 in the instruction leaflet, that I still had to comb through my hair with my fingers for "bouncy, voluminous curls and waves that last all day." In the videos, both instructors had used some hair oil or serum on their fingertips before raking out their curls and so I did the same, using the serum that Meredith had sold me. Then, for a couple of minutes, I began to comb my fingers through my hair, teasing the curls out into softer, less defined ones. At least they were starting to look a little more natural, I kidded myself, as the straight hair on the top part of my head told a different story. Another time check finally forced me to stop. If I was able to get ready quickly, I'd only be 15 minutes late. So, I returned the hot rollers and other items to the closet and then looked at my rack of clothes. Having worn the same blouse and skirt for the past two days, it seemed like it was time for a fresh set, even though I realized that meant that I would have some laundry to do over the weekend as well as my hair. What fun plans I was making for myself. I removed a fresh white silk blouse, black pencil skirt and pantyhose and then I hesitated as I saw the nylon panties shoved off to one side of the rack on their little hangars. My cock twitched slightly at the thought of the cool silky fabric against my skin once again and I decided to forego them to avoid any embarrassment and instead grabbed the 5-pack of cotton high waisted panties. For a moment, I looked at the different colors of pale blue, pink, peach, pale green and bright yellow, debating which to wear. But then I realized that it didn't really matter. They were women's panties after all and whether the colors were feminine or not, were secondary to that fact alone. Still, I was determined to avoid wearing the pink ones for the time being. The idea of Melissa inspecting my underwear that morning and seeing me in my lacy bra and pink panties was just too much for me to even consider right now. I grabbed the yellow ones and stepped into them. Then, as I pulled them up over my hips, I noticed again how different they were to my regular jockey shorts, with the cheeks of my bottom and the top of my thigh exposed by the high cut leg-holes. Without a fly hole, it felt like my penis was trapped against the tight fabric pushing back against it and with the narrower crotch area, my testicles instead of hanging loose felt squashed up uncomfortably inside and like they might spill out any moment. Last night, in the store, I had only tried them on for a minute, just to make sure that they fit, and foolishly I hadn't tried to move around in them in the dressing room. But now, I realized that I was going to be wearing these for the entire day, no thanks to the damn dress code. Walking, sitting, standing, bending over, all the while wearing the pantyhose over them which would only add even more to restrictive feeling. I was going to have to pull down both items just to pee. With that in mind, I tugged on the front a little and then underneath, trying to relieve the feeling of tightness, but found it hopeless as the material just snapped back. Then resigned to this just being how it was going to have to be, I sat down and put on the pantyhose hoping that somehow both would stretch a little over the day. Next, I came to the bra which I picked up by its strap, once more noticing the laced trim and for a moment, I paused wondering whether Melissa ever wore undergarments' with such frivolous details? She seemed like much too serious a person to go in for such unnecessary adornments. And then I asked myself, who was this lace even supposed to be for? Certainly, the wearer can't see it when covered by a blouse or dress. And if it was there to entice a romantic partner, that hardly seemed appropriate for work. Surely Melissa wouldn't approve of any of her female staff unbuttoning their blouse to show off a little cleavage, although I imagined a jerk-off like Jeff Stanswick might encourage such behavior for his own titillation. Still, I wondered why Ashley had chosen this particular bra for me. She had explained the "tech" of the bra with its underwire support and padded cups which were contoured and thus help with my shape. But the lace trim and embellishments? The "luxurious" feel? Had those been for her own form of titillation? Dressing me up in something ultra-feminine, like I was some dress-up-doll, because she could? Wasn't a plain bra already enough? I could only imagine how revolted Kiera would be seeing me in a bra, no matter how "pretty" it was. Hesitantly, I slid one of the straps over my hand and up my arm followed by the other, but then as I tried to reach back behind me, I struggled to match the hooks to the eyes to secure it. I cursed. Last night, Ashley had hooked the bra up for me but now I had to do it on my own. I had no real idea of how to put a bra on properly by myself, but with the clock still ticking, I swiveled the bra around in desperation so that the hooks and eyes were now in front of me. I then fastened them, before twisting it back around once more, imagining that this was one advantage of not actually having real breasts. I then peered down at my chest and the sorry looking empty cups before filling them with the foam breast forms that Ashley had provided. I was thankful that I didn't have a mirror to see my semi-dressed self, right now and I put my blouse on quickly, if only to hide the bra. It was then that I got another surprise. Just as I had not tried my panties on with my pantyhose the night before, neither had I tried my bra with my blouse. Now, as I buttoned it up, I realized just how much tighter it felt in the chest area than before and also how the filled bra caused my blouse to "tent-out" from breast to breast effectively obstructing my view of my waist and my feet. Immediately, I thought back to Chrissy. She.... He had a bust under his black satin blouse and a figure to match with the shapewear that he was wearing. Was that also going to be my fate soon, I wondered as I picked up my skirt and zipped it up. Would Melissa soon have me wearing something that gave me a bubble butt, as well? Where would this humiliation actually end? I stepped into my second pair of black leather pointed-toe heel pumps, wondering if these might be a little more comfortable than the pair I had worn previously. Then, I returned back to the bathroom for a moment, just to check myself over. Did I look passable for a woman was my first concern, or did I look like a total freak? It was with mixed emotions that I decided I looked convincing enough; "better" than any of the previous days anyway. A few minutes later, I had put on my blazer and grabbed my handbag and was out of the door. From 5:05am, it had taken me 1 hour and 15 minutes to get ready. That was compared with the 15 minutes I could have once got up by and been out of the door. An extra hour of my life that I was now expected to take each day, just to get ready. An hour that I either had to forego through less sleep or going to bed earlier. Chapter 41 ---------- As I walked from the apartment towards the station, I was quickly reminded of what it felt like to be back in heels after yesterday's short reprieve. And even on Tuesday, I had gone into work in my regular men's shoes and changed there, so today was the first day, I realized, that I faced the prospect of an entirely full day in heels. Already, I could now see why women liked the idea of foot massages so much. But more than that, as I walked along, I realized that this was also going to be my first full day in panties, wearing a bra and wearing makeup too. The routine I had done this morning, what I was now wearing, this was going to be just that.... a routine. Today was just the start, but now I had done it, Melissa would expect it every day for as long as I worked for her. It was as if everything felt different now, even from the day before. Going down the steps from my apartment to the street, I immediately became aware of how my new "bust" obscured my vision just enough to make navigating the steps in heels even more hazardous without seeing my feet as clearly. Walking along, I was aware of every different sensation, from the rub of my panties to the bounce with each step of my breast forms. And I felt sure that I was attracting more attention even as it seemed that I should be blending in better than the previous days. I used my time on the train to send a quick email to Melissa and a text to Emma warning them that I would be a little late. I was sure that Melissa would still make a big deal of it, given my track record, but I hoped that giving her advanced notice would at least be seen as the responsible thing to have done. I then used the rest of my time to begin doing some research on the tour options available for Lauren, Jessica and Claire hoping that if I could get ahead of a task like this, it might also go some way to restoring my credibility with Melissa. Perhaps, I wondered, if I could demonstrate more competence to Melissa in regards to doing my job as her PA, then maybe I could take her mind more off my appearance and keep it on the performance. I didn't see her or any of the other executive staff putting ribbons in their PAs hair for instance. I needed her to see me as a professional, not a dress-up- doll. Maybe then, she would stop feeling the need to pick at everything little thing I did. Still trying to think ahead, I placed an online order with the coffee shop when I was just a few minutes out from my stop knowing this would allow me to run in and out and shave off a few more minutes of lost time. Then, finally I entered the office around 7:15am which I didn't think was so bad given that I had only left the apartment around 6:20am. I was surprised to see that Emma wasn't yet in, given her text warning me of my early start, but I could hear Melissa talking in her office. Unsure whether she would want me to interrupt her or not, I still immediately took her coffee into her room just to show my face, and figured that she would let me know one way or another if she wanted her drink. "Ah, here she is, late as usual," Melissa said to whoever she was in a meeting with as soon as I entered the room. "Come and say hello, Alexa," she then added, gesturing for me to come around her desk to face the screen. "Ladies, this is my new PA, Alexa." I felt my stomach sink as I had no idea of what I would be facing. Was she talking with one person or a hundred? This was not how I had imagined my day starting as I anxiously approached her desk. But if I had learned one thing in the past few days, it was that my once entirely predictable work life was now completely unpredictable in this new role. As I got closer, I handed Melissa her coffee as she wheeled her chair back out of the way and then I stood in front of her monitor to find six female faces, each in their own box, waiting for me expectantly. "Hello Alexa." It seemed like all the women said more or less at the same time. "Hello," I replied, as nervous as a deer in headlights as I quickly scanned their faces and recognized only one of them; Clara Mills. Then suddenly a blonde woman, occupying the center box on the top row spoke. "Melissa, have you been deceiving us? I thought you had taken on one of the males from Re-Think as your PA?" "That's Annika Nilsson from our New York office, Alexa," Melissa replied as she looked up at me with a satisfied expression, her blue eyes glistening in the sunlight from the window. "Why don't you answer her?" I could feel my cheeks suddenly turning bright red as I looked at Melissa and then turned to the screen, mortified. From her appearance, I could see that Annika was a woman in her young twenties, probably around the same age as me, with Scandinavian features, much like Melissa. Another 'Ice Princess?' "I am a guy." I then told her in a slightly defensive tone, feeling embarrassed that I should have to tell her such a thing. There were several gasps of surprise, but then I heard Melissa correcting me. "Was, Girl.... Was." I turned back to look at her, confused and then she elaborated. "Remember Dear, within femvita we use female only pronouns," she explained with a mildly entertained look. "You WERE one of the guys at Re-Think. You ARE one of the girls now, in femvita." Then having made her point she instructed me, "Now, correct yourself to Annika and the others, please Alexa." I felt humiliated at being corrected like that in front of everyone by Melissa, but it only got worse as I turned to the screen once more and could see each of the women silently waiting for me to speak. "I was one of the guys at Re-Think," I told Annika in a sullen tone. "Excellent," Melissa then said, off to the side, while Annika looked enthused. "Incredible. She looks amazing for the short time that you've had to work with her," Annika said, only adding to my embarrassment with her use of the feminine pronouns. "Yes, I have Meredith to thank for that," Melissa replied, suggesting that Annika at least knew who Meredith was. "The hair really makes a difference. She's taken a few days to adjust to getting her clothes and makeup right, but she's coming along rather nicely." "And are all of the previous male Re-Thinkers as far along as Alexa?" another of the women, named Chloe King in the top left box asked. "No," Melissa answered sounding almost a little disappointed. "The speed of a girl's Homogenization is somewhat at the discretion of her supervisor and also needs to take into consideration her situation and personality. But as I told Alexa just yesterday, given her role as my PA, she needs to be the one out in front and not trailing the others." The women all seemed to respond by nodding in agreement and then an Eastern Indian looking woman named Nalini Chauhan asked me in a British accent, "And what about you Alexa? How are you adjusting to life as Melissa's PA?". Both her accent and the question somewhat threw me. Life? It seemed like the word had reached out from the monitor and grabbed me by my throat. This wasn't just a job. This was having an impact on my life, my whole life, what with Kiera. And if I was honest, I could hardly say that my time had started well. But did Melissa really want me to tell her colleagues that? I gave her a questioning look and fortunately she came to my rescue. "We're still in her training phase and ironing out any kinks," Melissa replied, leaving it ambiguous to those on the call as to how well I was doing, except for Clara who seemed to roll her eyes for a quick second. But a smile then formed over Melissa's face again as she added, "but she did assure me the other day that she's the perfect girl to be my new Personal Assistant, didn't you Alexa?" Once more, I found myself squirming inside as Melissa alluded to my own words that I had used in the video. "Yes, I did.," I admitted sheepishly. "Good for you, Alexa. That's the spirit," the British woman enthused. "Right on, Nalini. We could all do with more Alexa's in this world," Annika added, and I wondered what she meant by that. "With that in mind, I think we should get back to our agenda," Melissa then interjected, taking control of the meeting once more. "But Alexa, will you come and see me after we're finished, please?" Realizing that I was now being dismissed, I nodded to a chorus of, "Bye Alexa," and, "Hope to see you again soon," but I left Melissa's office feeling resentful at the way that she had embarrassed me like that in front of the other women. Was that punishment for yesterday, I wondered, or for being late today? I sat down at my desk feeling like the morning had now already got off to a bad start despite my best intentions. All I had wanted for today was to get on with my job and try and have as normal a day as I could. To not give Melissa any excuse to find fault with me. But while I had gone the extra mile in terms of doing my hair and makeup just for her, where had it got me? Being embarrassed in front of even more women. I stabbed at the on-button of my computer resentfully, realizing that I had never even got this far yesterday. Then I took a sip of my coffee, noticing the lipstick mark that I left on the rim of the cup as I put it back down. 4:30am had been far too early for breakfast, especially after the Chinese from the night before, but three hours later, I was beginning to feel hungry again and I spread some butter onto a toasted bagel that I had got at the coffee shop while I waited for everything to load. The first thing that I did was to check on the company profiles of the women who had been in the meeting, just to find out who Melissa had humiliated me in front of. Aside from Clara, there had been Annika Nilsson, Business Transformation, femvita, (NY), Chloe King, Business Transformation, femvita, (BOS) and Nalini Chauhan, Business Transformation, femvita, (LON), all of which suggested that Melissa was hosting a team meeting of the Business Transformation group with representatives across all the femvita offices. I then checked her calendar and found the names of the other two women and their locations; Shannon Barnes, femvita, (DC) and Amy Green, femvita (DEN). They were also listed as part of the Business Transformation group. Now, nosy to find out what they were discussing, I then looked for the meeting agenda which Melissa had alluded to, but I found nothing in the calendar invite or her emails. The title of the meeting was simply "Business Transformation Team Updates." I then cast my mind back to the meeting that I had attended on Tuesday. "Phase Two," Melissa had said, "is related to our newer more lucrative Business Transformation and Change Management initiatives." It was one reason why they had expanded into the West Coast and purchased Re-Think. From the meeting it had appeared that the plan involved taking over businesses, or at least replacing the management in those businesses with those of a female first mindset. But she had then said that it was also important to them in terms of moving on to Phases 3 and 4, whatever those were. Beyond that, I couldn't remember much more and I cursed myself for not making better notes, even if they were only for myself. Did a meeting with a representative from every office suggest that this kind of thing was being planned for all over the country and even in the UK? A chill ran through me and I felt a sudden urge to sneak back over towards Melissa's office and see if I could overhear what she was saying, but then I stopped myself. What if Emma came in and saw me? What if she told Melissa that I was spying on her? And then I thought back to what Erin had asked me to do yesterday, which was exactly this; to find out more about femvita's plans. "This is ridiculous," I told myself. "It's just a meeting and I'm not going to spy on my boss." Then with a click of my mouse, I closed out the company directory and opened up another tab on my browser. I knew that in a short while, Melissa would be calling me back into her office and I decided that the best way to try and win her over and make my day go better was to go in with something done. I typed in "luxury private tours San Francisco," and turned my attention back to planning the trip for Lauren, Jessica and Claire. Know my place was something else that Erin had more or less said to me yesterday and this was a job for a PA, I told myself sardonically. I soon found several tours that included most of the major sights such as the Golden Gate Bridge, Fisherman's Wharf, Telegraph Hill, the sea lions on Pier 39, Ghiradelli Plaza, the Embarcadero promenade, Chinatown, the Presidio, Union Square and of course the iconic Lombard Street. And the best one, with availability, was a four-hour tour in a private air-conditioned van for $1,000. For bonus points, the business even appeared to be run by two women, which I was sure would go down well with the femvita hierarchy. Emma had said that Melissa wanted options though and while it seemed hard to imagine one tour differing that much from another if they were going to hit the major sights, the quality of the vehicles and the tour guides would obviously make all the difference. Soon, I had three options to present to Melissa and I began to print them off just as she emerged from her office. "Alexa, you can come in now," Melissa said from her doorway. I took a deep breath, quickly grabbed my notebook and the printouts and headed inside to find her standing in the middle of her office, waiting. "I've got some options for the tour," I said quickly, before she had a chance to speak, holding them out for her to take. "Really?" she said, sounding a little surprised as she took them from me, but then turned and placed the papers on her desk almost indifferently. "The one on the top looks best," I pressed, suddenly noticing just how badly I wanted to win her over and head off any criticism. "The company's run by a couple of women." Melissa smiled through pursed lips. "Thank you, Alexa. I'll review them later." It was clear from her manner that despite my best efforts, she was still upset with me, so my mind jumped to the next logical place. "I'm sorry that I was late again," I said, realizing that I had never got the chance to say it in front of the other women. "I sent you an email." "Yes, you did," Melissa replied in a cool tone. "I would have preferred that you sent my coffee.... I suppose that by sending it, you showed some initiative, but tell me, do you think giving advance notice of your being late absolves you from not being here on time?" "No," I said, steeling myself for another dressing down. "And I suppose that you have some excuse that you're bursting to tell me?" Melissa then asked disdainfully. "No, I.... it just took me longer to get ready than I thought it would," I explained. "And why was that, Alexa?" Melissa asked. "Because I am still new to this...." I answered, frowning slightly. Surely, Melissa had to appreciate that much? Melissa seemed to nod for a moment as though just taking what I had said in. "That you will be slower than someone else who is more experienced in doing their makeup is understandable," she replied. "But that still doesn't answer the question as to why it took you longer to get ready than you thought, which is what you said, correct?" For a moment, I just stared at her blankly, not knowing what else she wanted me to say. "Tell me Alexa, how many times have you practiced doing your hair and makeup before this morning?" she then asked. Immediately, I could now see where she was going. "None," I admitted. "I mean, I did watch some videos...." But Melissa cut me off. "Bingo! And that is precisely why you had no clue how long it would actually take you. Tell me Alexa, along with your chronic lateness, is lack of preparation another character trait that I should be aware of? "No," I responded defensively, seeing how the day was now starting to go from bad to worse all over again. "And what about disloyalty?" she then asked. "Disloyalty? No!" I insisted emphatically, my voice getting louder, confused as to where that question had even come from. Melissa then straightened her back. "Then, could you explain to me why I received a phone call late yesterday afternoon from a very irate man named Jeff Stanswick, who called to complain about one of my employees named Alex Smith who had been very rude to him?" Suddenly I could feel the color draining from my face and I stood in front of Melissa, speechless. "Well, girl?" Melissa pressed. "I...., um...." I stammered, with no idea how to respond and devastated that Jeff had done this to me. "Of course, I told Mr. Stanswick that I had no such employee named Alex Smith and that he must have been mistaken," Melissa continued, her eyes locked intently on mine. "Or that whoever he was interviewing was a fraud, a liar and a fake. Am I right, Alexa?" I swallowed anxiously, still with nothing to say. "Well, he must be mistaken, mustn't he?" Melissa then challenged me. "Do you know anyone by the name of Alex Smith working here, at femvita?" Ashamedly I shook my head knowing that as far as she was concerned there was no Alex Smith on the femvita payroll. "And just so we're both clear on this fact, what is your name?" Melissa pressed. "Alexa," I responded softly. "Your full name," Melissa insisted. "Alexa Smith," I replied again. "I asked for your full name, Alexa," Melissa pressed once more. I felt another shiver running through me. "Alexa Nicole Smith," I replied, wondering how long Melissa was going to keep torturing me and where this was ultimately headed. "What name is on your check book?" "Alexa Nicole Smith," I repeated again. "And your credit card?" I swallowed wondering how many more times she was going to make me repeat this damn name. "Alexa Nicole Smith." For a moment, she then turned towards her desk and retrieved a sheet of paper. "Did you or did you not sign this non-compete Agreement Alexa?" she then asked, holding it up for me to see. I swallowed and nodded again. "Yes," I answered meekly. Melissa then handed it to me. "Read aloud what it says under Non-Compete Covenant, please." My mouth felt dry and the paper shook a little in my hands as I began to do as I was told. "During employment and for a period of 12 months after the separation of employment for any reason, Alexa N. Smith will not directly or indirectly engage in any business that competes with femvita." "Stop," Melissa then interrupted. "Tell me Alexa, do you think that another marketing firm in the city could be seen as competing with femvita?" "Yes," I answered, knowing there was little else that I could say. "Good. Then we agree. Continue, please...." Melissa instructed. Once more, I began. "Directly or indirectly engaging in any competitive business includes but is not limited to (i) engaging in a business as owner, partner, or agent, (ii) becoming an employee of any third party that is engaged in such business,...." "Stop," Melissa interrupted again. "Now tell me. Were you or were you not seeking to be an employee of OPC, Alexa? And don't lie to me." It was the first time that Melissa had directly called me out on it, but the now the pretense was over. "Yes, but...." "So, Mr. Stanswick wasn't mistaken," Melissa interrupted. "Which makes you a fraud and a liar and a fake, as well as disloyal and treacherous. Isn't that right, Alexa?" I felt both crushed and scared and like my reality was being twisted inside out. How could I be charged with being a liar and a fake for going to an interview using my real name? Yet, I was more concerned with what Melissa was going to do next. Fire me? "Now read the injunction," Melissa said, not waiting for me to give an answer. "It is agreed that if Alexa N. Smith violates the terms of this Agreement," I began, "irreparable harm will occur and money damages will be insufficient to compensate femvita. Therefore, femvita will be entitled to seek injunctive relief, (i.e., a court order that requires Alexa N. Smith to comply with this agreement) to enforce the terms of this agreement. The prevailing party shall have the right to collect from the other party its reasonable costs and necessary disbursements and attorney's fees incurred in enforcing this Agreement." I shuddered as I realized she could be planning something worse than just firing me. "Do you really want to go to court and have this enforced, Alexa? Do you really want to incur our costs in doing so?" Melissa demanded. "No," I replied miserably. "Then, tell me, why did you do it?" she asked, with disappointment more than anger in her voice. "I applied before I knew about the non-compete," I replied, which was true, to an extent. Melissa nodded. "I don't really care whether you applied before the takeover, or after, Alexa. The point is that you knew about it yesterday. You should have declined the interview. Aside from the obvious legal issue, what did I say to you, just yesterday, about loyalty?" "That you expect it," I replied. "I actually said that I demand it," Melissa said, immediately correcting me. "Now, do you think going off behind my back for an interview with a competing organization was being loyal, Alexa? Either to the company, or to me?" "I was upset. You had just sent me home when I got a call from them. It was all so sudden and I didn't think," I answered. "So, I should add poor judgement under pressure to your file, along with tardy, unprepared, deceitful and disloyal?" I didn't say anything and so Melissa continued. "And then there is bringing the company into disrepute. I can tell you that I did not appreciate the tone with which that man spoke to me, girl. What was it that you called him?" Immediately, I pictured again the moment in the interview where I had stood up from my chair. "A jerk and a fuck," I replied after a short sigh. Melissa closed her eyes for a moment as though visibly disturbed by the word. "I don't ever want to hear that word out of your mouth again," she said in a firm tone. "Have you ever stopped to consider how many curse words in general refer to women negatively? The B word, the C word, the F word and how that word connects sexual intercourse and violence together?" she asked. "Or Even when those words are directed at men, such as Mr. Stanswick, it's just another example of how women are shamed through language dominated by male influence." I hadn't and I imagined that I wasn't alone in that. And it wasn't just men, but women too. I thought of how often Kiera used the F word and never seemed to give it a second thought. But Melissa continued. "Mr. Stanswick is clearly a vulgar, uncouth man, Alexa but I expect a girl in your position to demonstrate grace under fire and to conduct herself in a ladylike manner, no matter the circumstance. Is that understood?" A girl in my position. Grace under fire. A ladylike manner. After just thinking about Kiera, the words seemed especially jarring, each phrase delivering another crushing blow to my increasingly fragile male ego. "But even women have the right to defend themselves, or fight back sometimes," I argued. "You're right, Alexa, they do. But not like that. You showed weakness, not strength. In future, if someone upsets you like that, then you will tell me about it and then I will deal with it, is that clear?" Melissa replied. "But...." I began to argue. "No buts, girl. As my PA, what you say and do reflects on me and I expect you to conduct yourself in a genteel, feminine manner," Melissa interrupted. "And as I say, if you feel wronged by someone about something, then you will tell me and I, and I alone, will be the arbiter of what follows. Are we clear?" I could see that it would be no use arguing further with Melissa on this point, even though I couldn't help feel that this was another situation where I was being held to a higher standard than most women. "Yes, very clear," I replied softly in resignation, understanding that in Melissa's eyes I was no longer even able to speak up for myself and would instead be expected to rely on her to defend me. "Excellent," she replied. "You know, I had a half a mind to make you apologize to Mr. Stanswick," she added after a pause, causing me to momentarily panic as I was sure she meant as 'Alexa.' "But of course, that would confirm that you are indeed one of my employees. Still, don't think that this is over yet, I will think of some way in which you can make amends." "Great," I thought to myself, unable to imagine what she could come up with and having this hanging over my head. "I'm sorry," I replied. Melissa nodded thoughtfully. "I'm sure you are. But sorry for what, Alexa? For getting caught out? For violating our agreement? For wanting to leave femvita? For wanting to leave me?" The way she emphasized "me" at the end sent a shiver through me. She made it sound so personal. "I'm sorry Melissa. Really, I am," I apologized, trying to lay it on as thick as I could. "It won't happen again. I promise." But Melissa looked at me unimpressed. "Frankly, your promises don't seem to amount to too much though, do they, young lady? After all, it was only the day before that you promised me that you were the perfect girl to be my new Personal Assistant, wasn't it?" And for the second time this morning, she referred back to the video I had made on Tuesday and the words I had spoken, clearly unwilling to let me forget them. And once more, I stood in front of her, speechless. What could I say? I could barely think straight. "Imagine for a moment how foolish I felt, Alexa, introducing you to the other members of staff this morning, knowing that you had done this. Making assuring promises to me one day, looking for another position the next." I shifted uncomfortably thinking about how she had introduced me to all the women. "Why did you tell them that, then?" I blurted, still somewhat resentful that she had humiliated me like she had in front of everyone. "Why?" Melissa asked, looking somewhat surprised. "Because I intend to hold you to your promises, Alexa, that's why," she answered firmly. I swallowed anxiously as I felt a tightness around my neck. Melissa had said that she had no intention of firing me before, but this time her tone sounded even more ominous. "I don't know what else to say, except it won't happen again," I tried to assure her. Melissa was dismissive though. "There isn't anything that you can say to assure me of that, Alexa," she replied curtly. "That's why I called Susannah last night, asking her to draft an injunction that would compel you." Suddenly I felt like the ground was falling from under me. "You wha....?" I gasped. "Since I can no longer trust you to keep a promise, enforcement seems the only way," she explained unemotionally. "I'm meeting with Susannah at 8:00am to review it." "Please don't do that," I begged panicking. "I'll do whatever you want. Say whatever you want...." "And it's so easy for you to do that when your words are so cheap," Melissa responded. "I told you yesterday, girl. Loyalty is everything. And that if you violated that trust, then you would rue the day." "[And] come to me on your knees sobbing, begging for forgiveness," I remembered her adding. But that had all been in the context of her daughter, so I thought. Suddenly I saw an image of myself standing in a court in front of a male judge, wretched and pathetic, dressed as I was, everyone in the court laughing and sneering at me. The thought of public humiliation, a court order, a criminal record? Legal fees, all racing through my mind. "Please Melissa," I pleaded. Then remembering her words, I suddenly dropped down onto my knees in front of her, my head lifted upwards. In this moment, if she wanted me to beg, then I'd beg just to avoid this. "Good grief. Get up, girl," she snapped as I felt my body shaking, tears welling up in the corners of my eyes. "Pull yourself together," she then said as I used my hands to support myself as I stood back up. For a moment silence then fell between us and all I could hear was the sound of my own heavy breathing. I could feel Melissa's eyes on me, but I could barely return the look back. Anxiously, I hoped that my action might have elicited some compassionate response within her, but I suspected that saying anything else might jeopardize that. However, the ice queen wasn't moved. "Now, return to your desk and send Susannah straight in once she arrives, please," Melissa instructed. For a moment, I stood devastated, looking pitifully at Melissa, wondering how anyone could be so cold. "Don't you even want to know why?" I asked, my voice shaking. "You told me why. You were upset," Melissa responded cooly. "I wasn't going to take the job. That's why I told him what I thought of him," I then told her. "And we both know that you weren't going to be offered the job, don't we Alexa?" Melissa replied calmly. "Mr. Stanswick told me that it was once this became clear that you started to become more belligerent. Now, really Alexa, just go please." Realizing that there was absolutely nothing more that I could say or do, I turned in silence and began to head back to the outer office. And then, just as I reached the door, I heard Melissa's voice once more calling to the back of my head as I stepped outside. "Oh, and Alexa, you have a few crumbs on your lipstick. It's most unbecoming. Tidy yourself up before Susannah arrives, please."