Elephant in the Closet
- 4 years ago
- 19
- 0
Elephant Tube free porn video
ElephantTube? Damn, these dudes with their "elephant porn" are creative...NOT! Anyways, are you ready to be a porn pro? No, I don’t mean in the way that you’ll actually be in porn. I just mean someone with a professional level of knowledge about porn. Cool your jets, man. You, in porn? That’s a dream that, at this stage in the game, you can probably just go ahead and let die with all the rest of them. It is extremely hard, at least as a guy, to break into the porn industry. You pretty much have to start a porn studio of your own if you want to do that. Because, unless you’re jacked and hung with extraordinary stamina, it ain’t happening, bub.
And we both know that you’re nowhere near jacked or hung because you watch so much porn that you’re sitting here reading a review of a potential new porn site to add to your repertoire. If you were buff enough and hung enough to get into porn, wouldn’t you be out fucking right now instead?
You have a better shot at winning The Voice or getting struck by lightning. Well, I suppose you could always go gay for pay first, if you’re into that. That is actually how more than a few male porn stars crawled their way up the porn ranks. You have to start somewhere, right? And, in porn, that somewhere is at the very bottom. Or, at the very least, as a bottom. If you’re gay, it becomes significantly easier to break into porn (gay guys will fuck anything with a dick).
But if you’re bi, on the other hand, and you don’t mind spending the time putting in the work (AKA getting reamed in the ass regularly, sometimes by two dicks at once), you just might be able to work your way up to fucking some of the B-grade porn stars out there. Hey, nothing comes easily in this world! Except for your mom. When I fuck her. She cums very easily. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
Okay, so, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way and I’ve managed to swiftly dash your lofty hopes and dreams of adult superstardom (hey, someone had to do it … you’ll thank me later), I feel like the least I can do is tell you about a new porn site for you to add to your bookmarks list, right? It’s just a small kindness to cushion the blow of the fact that you’ll never fuck a porn star. Well, unless, of course, you happen to be in NYC, LA, or Miami with an extra 3 or 4 thousand bucks to spare. Some porn stars do, believe it or not, also provide escorting services as an additional side hustle to sucking and riding dick on film. So, if you’re filthy rich, you’ll be able to fuck all the porn stars you want, without it being work. I know, big surprise, right? Rich people get to fuck any girl they want? Who knew!
In the meantime, though, well you save up all your extra funds until you can afford to fuck the girl of your dreams (some people put payments down on new homes, some go on vacations around the world, and others fuck a porn star one time … hey, different strokes for different folks), allow me to give you a porn aggregator site that will definitely keep your hands full. You’ll find so much fuckin’ porn on here, man, you’ll be able to do more than enough due diligence in terms of researching before you decide which porn star you want to drop a few grand to service your schlong.
Porn Aggregators Vs. Porn Tubes
The porn aggregator site I’m talking about is Elephant Tube. I wouldn’t be surprised, actually, if you’ve come across this site in the past, during your google searches of new porn sites when you grow tired of the same old shit to be found on Porn Hub, Red Tube, xHamster, and all the rest of ‘em. That’s how I first found Elephant Tube anyway. I just googled “teen porn tube” and it was one of the first results to pop up.
If you’ve never used an aggregator site before, though, you should be warned: it is likely not going to be exactly what you’re used to – it is not the same thing as a porn tube, even though aggregators kind of look like porn tubes in their design and layout. Instead of browsing a bunch of videos hosted by a single site (like you would while you browse, say Porn Hub), porn aggregators draw from a vast network of porn tubes and then link to them. So, be prepared to deal with a lot of open tabs, and to go to some sites you’ve never heard of before.
When you land on Elephant Tube’s home page, as I said, it might look pretty similar to tube sites you’ve been to before. The main difference, however, is the fact that instead of finding a sprawling gallery of video thumbnails, you will be greeted with a sprawling gallery of categories (with thumbnails to represent them … in this case, I believe the thumbnail is of the most popular video linked in that category at the time that you visit the site).
Site Design is … Meh, but There are Other Perks in Store
One thing that immediately throws me about this site (and most of the other aggregator sites I’ve been to in the past) is that the organization of the categories and their respective thumbnails does not seem to have any rhyme or reason to it. It is not listed alphabetically. Maybe it’s by popularity? The first three, just to give you an idea, are Innocent, Mom, and Surprise. Innocent and Mom I could buy being the two most popular categories on the site, but Surprise? What the fuck even is that? The thumbnail shows a sexy blonde chick, blindfolded and tied to the bed. Surprise, there’s my dick in your mouth!
Okay, sure, I suppose you could scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page where Elephant Tube does provide an alphabetized list of their categories, but that’s kind of annoying, don’t you think? Especially when it would require such a minimal change to the site design for them to just fucking alphabetize it for us. Once you do get to the bottom of the page – and this actually is a pretty convenient, even if basic, feature – there is a quick jump arrow to immediately bring you back up to the top of the page. Once you’re back to the top, you’ll find a very thin site menu bar, allowing you to choose between Home, All Categories, Most Popular Videos, New Videos, Highest Rated, and a long list of other sites prefaced as Our Network (Tube Galore, FUQ, iXXX, HD Porzo, and For Her Tube are listed, among others).
Above the site menu bar, you’ll find it easy to switch between sexual orientations of the content. There are three boxes – one marked straight, one marked gay, and one marked Shemale. As a courtesy, the Straight box is checked by default when you arrive. But if you prefer, you can choose just gay, just shemale, or any combination of the three that suits your preferences. Above the sexual orientation filter, you will find, of course, the obligatory search bar, allowing you to get as creative and kinky as you see fit with your keywords.
One big letdown of this site is the fact that – and this is, again, probably because porn aggregator sites do not host content, they merely link to it – none of the video thumbnail’s provide previews when you hover your cursor over them. This especially sucks for this kind of a site because clicking on one comes with a whole slew of consequences of its own, depending on the site to which it leads. For one, you will have to open a new tab for every video you want to audition. Secondly, a lot of the sites that you will be tossed over to are riddled in ads and who knows what else. And, lastly, there is no way to know how legit (aka legal) everything on all of these mystery sites are. Aggregators are, by definition, a bit of a gamble for these reasons.
But on a positive note, you will be hard-pressed to find this much porno on any other single site. That is where Elephant Tube really shine, in quantity. This is truly a cornucopia of porn. A pornucopia if I’ve ever seen one. Every time you visit Elephant Tube, there will no doubt be countless new videos for you to enjoy. So, if you don’t mind sacrificing some of the additional features of a porn tube in exchange for an unthinkable level of quantity and diversity in video selection, Elephant Tube will be perfect for you.
All in all, Elephant Tube gets the job done. If you don’t mind a low-stakes gamble here and there, you might actually have a bit of fun exploring all the new terrain that Elephant Tube (often misspelled as "elephantube", "elaphant tube" and "elephant tubes") will lead you to. Follow the elephant!
Mckenna
- 05.03.2023
- 24
- 0
- Category:
- Porn Aggregators
