BigShocked free porn video

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Your mom was Big Shocked the first time she looked at the website of the same name, probably because she’d grown used to your dad’s little ding-dong and the cheap dildo she bought on Amazon. While many women would be satisfied by these meager members, there are others who prefer something bigger, more elaborate or simply fantastical as all hell. I admit, I do most of my masturbation using my hands or the machine I built out of Pringles cans and old Walkman motors, but sometimes I like to spice it up with something a little more lifelike—or just the opposite.

BigShocked.com is a purveyor of fine fantasy dildos and other atypical sex toys. The company was founded in 2014, inspired by their founder JOOL’s concept of “creating a heterotopia of eroticism”. That’s some highfaluting fancy talk, even for a professional masturbator and pornography scholar like myself, but I think I get the gist: they’re makings sex toys catering to your weirdest, darkest, most secret desires. Any nerd on Etsy can sell casts of their deformed rectal prolapse, but with a hundred thousand visitors every month, I get the feeling these guys ain’t peddling half-ass bullshit. Maybe today I’ll finally upgrade to a sex toy I didn’t make myself, which is what they recommend every time I end up in the ER with my dick stuck in the Hoover.

I’m Big Shocked at These Crazy Dildos

I’m not sure if you know this about me, but your old friend ThePornDude is something of a pervert. For nearly a decade, I’ve spent most of my waking hours shaking my dick at all the kinky corners of the internet. I’m no stranger to oddball niches and obscure fetishes, and I’ve known about dragon dildos and fake horse dicks for a while. They pop up on some of the freakier tubes and the occasional homebrew OnlyFans flick. I always associated them with goth girls and cosplay chicks, but I’ve recently come to realize they’re much more popular than I ever thought.

The subjects of masturbation and sex toys come up frequently when I’m conducting my pre-fucking interviews over on the PornDudeCasting couch. Hitachi wands are a perennial favorite, as are those delicate and nimble fingers pornstars come equipped with. What’s been a real surprise is when they mention fantasy dildos like the ones made by BigShocked. These women have access to some of the biggest, most famous real dicks in the world, but sometimes they’re horny for a genuine monster cock.

While their catalog has expanded beyond crazy-ass fake dongs, they’re arguably still BigShocked’s biggest draw. They’ve got an incredible collection of animal, monster and fantasy dildos. There are 17-inch replicas of the human hog advertised at the top of their front page, but they’re kind of overshadowed by the spectacle of multi-colored silicone tentacles, suction-cup double-penetration dog dongers, and ribbed werewolf schlongs with big balls.

The realism is fucking ridiculous, and I mean that in the best way possible. Big Shocked has shockingly huge dildos modeled after German shepherds, wolves, Doberman pinschers, curly coated retrievers and great danes. I’m actually curious how much research they did and how anatomically correct they are by breed. At the same time, I’m not sure how much it matters; what’s important is that they’re fun to play with.

The Lowdown on Fake Dragon Dicks

Customers can shop BigShocked by function (Big Dildos, Vibrating Dildos, or Anal Dildos), by shape (Animal Dildos, Horse Dildos, Dog Dildos and Alien Dildos), or by a multitude of colors including glow-in-the-dark options. I mean, if you’re going for accuracy, it’d be a fucking shame if you had to pretend your alien abductor/rapist has a non-photoluminescent ovipositor. Big Shocked loves you deviates way too much to let that happen.

Like any good modern website, BigShocked.com lets customers leave star ratings and reviews. (In this day and age, it’s a really fucking bad sign when a website doesn’t include reviews.) I checked out the user write-ups for Barghest Small-Sized Fantasy Wolf Knot Dildo, a scary-looking freak dick with a five-star rating. “Absolutely love this dildo!” wrote one excited visitor. “My hubby wanted to spice things up in the bedroom and I found this! Loved the price and the quality!”

On the same note, I wish you could sort the collection by customer rating like you can on other online shops. They’ve got the other usual options, like sorting by newness or price, so it seems like it’d be relatively simple to implement. The selection of crazy dildos at Big Shocked is so wide that even if you have an idea what you want, those reviews could really help make the decision easier.

Some of the very newest additions to the collection are featured out on the front page. The current crop includes thrusting, vibrating and rotating electronic dildos, sea monster tentacles and a glow-in-the-dark Texas wolf tongue. I really like that their products aren’t just designed to look cool, but to be practical as well. That wolf tongue, for example, is a wild-looking bit of multi-colored silicone, and it’s been “Cleverly contoured to hug your curves which are designed to seek out your G-spot.” It also “Perfectly replicates the delicate and softness of the tongue, and the raised granules increase friction more effectively.” Don’t expect your wife to go back to your boring micropenis anytime soon, pal.

And Something for the Straight Dudes, Too

I’m pretty sure the big sellers at Big Shocked are all those otherworldly dildos, but they’ve got some other stuff that might be of interest to those of you who might not want to stuff your orifices with alien appendages. I’m looking at you, straight guys. You might be interested in the couple dozen high-end male masturbators they sell. These are a step or ten more advanced than that smelly fap sleeve you bought at that highway exit porn store.

Their Masturbators catalog is divided into two broad sections, Auto Masturbators and Realistic Masturbators. I checked out the Auto versions first, and then deleted a joke I’d written in the last paragraph about high prices. For premium sex toys, the prices are really fucking reasonable.

If you’ve perused my reviews of Online Sex Shops and Adult Stores or just done the research yourself, you already know the automated dick strokers usually start around a hundred bucks and rise steeply from there. By contrast, BigShocked’s priciest one is a hundo, with cheaper machines starting at fifty bones. They’ve even got a non-automated Fleshlight knockoff for $30. That’s less than half of what you’d pay for entry models of the big-name toy.

It was a similar story in the Realistic Masturbators aisle. Compared to shops like Tantaly and Joy Love Dolls, some of these silicone lady parts are a fucking steal. They’ve got a realistic mega-ass with vagina and anal openings for forty bucks, and a whole 15-pound disembodied sex torso for a buck twenty. No shit, I’m eyeballing their Fantasy Bent-Over Bubble Butt Mega Stroker, which looks like a good way to spend an evening.

Of course, BigShocked.com is known for its fantasy sex toys. I was hoping to see some weird alien orifices, but maybe the market ain’t quite ready for that just yet. As long as hentai keeps getting more popular, I think we’ll eventually see those, but they do have a couple unusual masturbatory strokers if you’re looking for something weird to put your penis in. The current options include a couple glow-in-the-dark fuck holes with rainbow colors, but I’ve got my fingers crossed for a gropable set of xenomorph boobies with a functional slime pump.

BigShocked.com is an obvious stop if you’re in the market for a fantasy dildo modeled after a dog, a horse, a werewolf, a dragon, an alien or some other non-human creature you’d like to fuck. I’m going to point out the less obvious: their shop’s also a worthwhile stop if you’re looking to upgrade your male sex toys but don’t want to blow the kind of money you would at some of the other high-end sex shops. It’s also the kind of place any curious rubbernecker might want to take a peek at, even if you don’t think monster cocks are really your thing. Who knows? You might find a new kink.

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What in the Hell Was ThatChapter 8

“Mom, Jerry’s cock is still slick from being inside my pussy and just look at how it’s swelling already, getting ready for your pussy. HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! I want to kiss your pussy.” “ANGIE! You horny-ass little brat!” “Mom, don’t you like that? Just look back here behind me, and the way Patricia is sucking my pussy.” Brenda was on her hands and knees, hovering over me as Angie kissed and sucked her pussy. She swung her super-size titties over my face and I caught one of her nipples in my...

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MAU Trekkin Along

MAU: Trekkin' Along Synopsis: This tale continues the adventures of Danni - a 'victim' of the Morphic Adaptation Unit who now resembles Seven of Nine, down to functional Borg implants! [email protected] ********************************************************************** MAU: Trekkin' Along Danni eased back into the chair, stretching out her long curvy legs, feeling the muscles protesting slightly at the movement. Damn, but even the tiniest motion...

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young love

She was a pretty young woman, blond hair, blue eyes, slender, with a nice shape. I decided that she would be the next thing to heaven if I could get her to go out with me. I finally got up the courage to call her and ask her to the movies. That was the beginning. When we would drive in the car, she would sit next to me instead of by the window on the passenger side. When we would walk, she would hold my hand. We used to go down to the old bridge that was down by the lake and go inside. There...

2 years ago
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Head Leaper

The Porsche 911 rushed past me at break neck speed and smashed into the wall at the other side of the junction. I slammed on my brakes and ran back to the scene of the accident wondering whether I'd be brave enough to attempt a rescue from the mangled wreck. But the decision was taken for me as I witnessed the first lick of flame; I was not a hero. I did the only thing I could think of and rang 999, "Which service?" and then the moment that changed the rest of my life. I felt the force of the...

Mind Control
2 years ago
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Helpless

We had played around with bondage before. What horny couple didn't? Nothing too rough, just using my old ties to keep her from being able to use her arms. Our bed has the perfect headboard for it, with nice bedposts to tie Jennifer's hands to. We've been married for ten years, since we were 22. I'd estimate that I've tied Jennifer up maybe 7 or 8 times, and she had tied me up twice. As I said, nothing too hardcore -- just giving the feeling of being under someone else's control. (Honestly,...

BDSM
1 year ago
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The train

The sudden lurch of the train pulling out of the station roused Gwen from her momentary cat nap. As they slowly picked up speed she watched in silence as the city turned into suburbs which in turn became fields of lush green corn and soybeans, mixed in with an occasional patch of golden brown wheat. The gentle motion of car and the barely discernible clickety-clack of the steel wheels were quite calming. She was just about to doze off again when a feminine voice asked softly, "Do you mind if I...

Lesbian
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Bra Fucking Michelles Huge Tits

Hooked up with monster titty high school girl at an outside keg party at the falls. Was later in evening, not many people there started rubbing her shoulders. I was standing she was sitting. As I caressed her shoulders she looked up to me and smiled. I leaned forward and gently kissed her. It was early fall, not too cold, had a fire roaring. She has a t shirt on with a button up sweater. She was very modest about her chest. Even in her family portrait they had her back to the camera looking...

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Finding Bathsheba Book 2Chapter 26

"What about this?" Brianna said, holding up a soft, cotton bag for Tammy to see. "It's for your shoes so they don't get your clothes dirty in your suitcase." Tammy was zipping and unzipping a rolling carry-on suitcase, obviously testing its durability. She looked up and shook her head. "Plastic bags from the grocery store are better AND cheaper." Brianna thought for a moment. "Good point." She hung the bag back on the hook. It was the day after Independence Day, and Tammy was...

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Extremely Loud and Incredibly Horny

Nora stretched and turned in the bed, not quite either asleep or awake yet. As she moved, she felt something tight around her waist. Her first waking thought was puzzlement. She brought her hands down to her waist and felt a hard metal band encircling her. The strange feeling chased the cobwebs out of her mind and she opened her eyes and sat up. She was naked, as she always was in bed... but as she looked down she was shocked to discover she was wearing what she instantly realized was a...

BDSM
2 years ago
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The Rise and Fall of Marcy DentonChapter 14

Marcy concluded early on that Kamon was a lot like his brother. She and Nikki were playthings to him. Oh, he didn't use denigrations like Jamal, in fact he was constantly complimenting her on her face and figure, but he was into her pants daily and there had been several foursomes. Marcy had asked Jamal about finding a place of their own but he seemed content, at least for the moment, especially with both Marcy and Nikki available to him any time he wanted. It was several days later that...

4 years ago
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nephew loves my tits

Hi there! My name is Beth. This story is about how opened Pandora’s Box, and man, did I love what was inside. I’ll start by telling you alittle bit about myself, I’m rather tall for a woman, close to 5’10” but I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not small, by any means, actually I’m quite heavy. Clothes can be quite expensive for me, as I have to buy plus sizes, the upside to this, is my breasts are actually quite huge by today’s standards, 46DDD to be exact. I don’t really care for them, but the...

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Love and lust about a women

I stopped by the grocery on the way home from work, and while slipping down the aisles I noticed this attractive woman with killer legs and really nice brown leather pumps. I don’t know what came over me, but I followed her down a few aisles, acting if I was looking for something ..After a few aisles, she turned and sized me up, I said hello, and with a stupid look on my face, knew that I had been caught leering at her. She asked me “see anything you like”? To which I responded, “Miss, you have...

5 years ago
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Victoria Justice On Tour Aftermath

THIS STORY WAS POSTED ON XHAMSTER BY THE USER TreborCox WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. I WILL LINK IN THE COMMENTS WHERE THE STORY WAS POSTED AFTER I WROTE IT IN 2011Disclaimer: The following story comes from the mind of the author and in no way is a recollection of true events.--The following story takes place thirty days after the events of “Victoria Justice on Tour – Day 33”…“Okay everybody that was a good taping. See you all on Monday.” The director yelled out as the taping for ‘Victorious’...

2 years ago
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James Bondage QuickiesStuffed Pig

Valerie leaned against the wide stone pillar as a warm evening breeze blew across her scantily clad form. Her shoulder length lavender hair was tossed by the wind as cars whizzed down the street. The dye job was complemented by her short, one-piece dress and form fitting choker necklace. Their purple sheen gleamed brightly in the night time city lights, calling attention to her ample curves. Her dress terminated not far below her waist and from there her attractions became more bold. Black...

2 years ago
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TittyAttack Karlee Grey Skeet In The Shell

In the near future, the fine line between humans and sexbots is becoming thinner and thinner. Major Karlee Grey is on a mission to find out the secrets of her past. Equipped with the only weapons she needs to get whatever she wants, her huge tits, she set out to fuck the man who could ultimately free her from her voluptuous shell. She successfully tracked him down after many moons of searching. She tricked him into fucking her humongous tits which made his guard come down. From there, her pussy...

xmoviesforyou
2 years ago
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JulesJordan Kimber Woods Master Class On Monster Cocks Featuring Dredd

Kimber Woods GAPES her ass for Dredds MONSTER dong! Dressed in a plaid miniskirt with black fishnets and a tiny black top Kimber bends her back to push out her booty as she smiles for the camera. She shakes her ass while making her way around the pool then stares at you with her amazing green eyes before pulling her panties to the side so tempt you with her holes. Dredd joins her on the couch and plays with her titties as she rubs his thick dick through his shorts then he pulls them down so she...

xmoviesforyou
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The Empire Book 3Chapter 11 The Start of University

Jason arrived on campus at eight fifteen, in anticipation of an eight thirty start. His guards blended easily and fluidly into the student body. He noted he was scheduled to attend orientation, which ran its events over the first week at the university, to acclimate students to university life. From what Jason could see of the program, it was exactly the same as one would expect from any college or university orientation, anywhere on Earth. There were considerable differences in the...

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