The Three Signs Book 2 LoriChapter 38 Third Year Ends
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There was only another five weeks of classes before the end of the semester; well, before the study break that led into the exams that would be the end of the semester. We all found that time had a habit of shrinking; at the start of each semester, the end of the semester and the exams seemed so distant ... but before we realized it, there was only a matter of weeks left; and a pile of assignments and projects to complete.
Having David, Claire and even Garry living next door made the study much easier. In the evenings we would often work together on assignments; or go over the day’s classes. Having the others there to bounce ideas off or ask questions really helped with understanding the work. Working together where necessary, we managed to get all of our assignments completed and in on time.
That’s not to say the last month and a half of the semester was a breeze; electromagnetism – at least the more complex mathematical elements of it – still remained a mystery to me; along with much of the pure maths. The hopeless lecturer, Doctor Noussair, for Linear Algebra didn’t help at all – despite the big “No Smoking” signs in the lecture theatre, he would insist on lighting up one of his foul Rothmans cigarettes halfway through each lecture. We would all burst out in fits of loud coughing, and more than once he would walk out of the lecture.
Not all of my time was spent in classes or studying; Lori and I also had our regular Sunday racing on ‘Koolong’. As yet this season we hadn’t won a race; we had a number of second and third places; but our competitors had lifted their game from the previous season. However, because the overall results were based on consistency; Don and Lori were still happy with our performances. We weren’t making any mistakes; it was just that some of the other boats had improved their equipment over the winter; new sails, new rigging, and all that was paying off for them.
Musically, we were still playing to a full house at Crystal every Friday and Saturday night; the latest album sales were going well, and could well reach gold status by December. Fifa and Peter suggested that in December, once we had finished our exams, we do an extended tour of NSW. The plan would be for the three weeks before Christmas to do a big loop west and south of Sydney, several country towns on the way to Albury, then back before Christmas. After the New Year, we would do another circuit, Newcastle, out through Dubbo and Wellington, up to Armidale, then down the north coast, through Newcastle again, and back to Sydney.
It sounded like a pretty major tour; I didn’t know how we would be able to cover all those places in two sets of three week tours. Peter was talking about using a full size truck for all of the equipment, plus a tour bus for us. That would give us a place to sleep, too; not that it would be spacious or luxurious accommodation, but better than having to rely on the motels in some of the places. I wasn’t sure how we would fit that into our regular gigs at Crystal, either, but that wasn’t my problem to sort out. As long as we were happy with the concept, Fifa and Peter would work out all the details and logistics.
On the Friday evening after our Murder Mystery weekend; I was surprised to see Tracy sitting at the table with Lori. I went to sit down there during the first set break, and I saw her there; having supper and talking with Lori. I introduced Megan to her, and asked her how she was enjoying the show.
“I had heard some of your stuff on the radio,” she said. “But seeing you all live, it’s so much better that I thought. Sorry, that sounds like I didn’t expect you to be any good ... I didn’t mean it that way; it’s just hearing a group live is always so much better than listening to a recording. I’m amazed at the number of people here, and how they are all up dancing; I could imagine my parents dancing here.”
“You should dance with Will to the recorded music during the break,” Lori suggested. “Go on, he’s a good dancer; I’ve danced with him heaps of times. I promise I won’t kill you this time if you dance with him.”
Tracy laughed, and agreed to dance with me. I escorted her on to the floor, and we waited for the next song to start; which was our cover of Nat King Cole’s ‘Paper Moon’. I held her, and as we started dancing; I sang along to my own singing.
It is only a paper moonSailing over a cardboard sea
But it wouldn’t be make-believe
If you believe in me
It is only a canvas sky
Hanging over a muslin tree
But it wouldn’t be make-believe
If you believe in me
“That’s so nice, having you singing to me,” she said.
Without your loveIt’s a honky-tonk parade
Without your love
It’s a melody played
In a penny arcade
It’s a Barnum and Bailey world
Just as phony as it can be
But it wouldn’t be make-believe
If you believe in me
I tried to remember what the next song on the tape would be; I was pretty sure it was a Frank Sinatra cover. When the song stopped, Tracy kissed me on the cheek.
“That’s to thank you for the lovely dance,” she said, “and singing to me; it was really nice.”
“Care for another?” I said. “The break isn’t over yet.”
“If you don’t mind, I feel guilty, you have the break to get a rest in.”
The song started; my recollection of the tape contents was right. As we danced around the floor, I continued singing to her.
Fly me to the moonLet me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On a-Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby, kiss me
Fill my heart with song
And let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you
At the end of the song; Tracy kissed my cheek.
“Thank you; that was lovely,” she said.
We headed back to the booth where Lori was sitting; Megan was there, and Lori introduced Megan and Tracy.
“Megan, this is Tracy, the woman that I killed last Saturday night,” Lori said. “Tracy, this is Megan, she’s the third person in the relationship with Will and me.”
“You’re looking pretty good for a dead person,” Megan said to Tracy as the shook hands. “Mind you, Lori’s not all that good at things involving violence and revenge.”
Tracy laughed. “Well, I guess I did provoke her to take some action against me last weekend,” she said. “But from what I’ve discovered, she’s not at all possessive about her man.”
“That’s because Will’s not my man,” Lori said. “I’m his lover, well, one of his lovers, but not his owner.”
It was time for Megan and I to get back up on stage for the next set; I told Lori and Tracy that I would be back after then next set.
“She seems pretty nice,” Megan said to me as we got back on the stage. “Lori said that she’s pretty keen on you, too.”
“Well, I don’t know about that; some of it was just an act, as she was following the script,” I said. “I wonder how she will take being told about our arrangement. Did you know Lori was going to tell her all the details about our three-way setup?”
“Yeah, she told me just before the start of the first set, that Tracy had turned up; well, Lori had actually invited her, arranged for complementary tickets. Do you think Lori’s up to something?”
“Oh, she’s always up to something,” I said. “I’m not sure what, though.”
After the end of the next set Megan and I went back to the booth where Lori and Tracy were sitting; Megan moved in to sit next to Lori, so I sat next to Tracy. Lori must have been explaining the intricacies of our various relationships; how it was a modified form of ‘open relationship’.
“I think it’s great the way you three have worked out you relationship,” Tracy said. “I’m not sure I could be as accepting as the two of you, but if it works for you, that’s great. Now, I’ve bene waiting for you to take a break, so we could dance some more. Unless you just want to sit and rest?”
“We can dance if you want; this is the long break we take, so after a dance or two, I can take a break,” I said, and led her out to the floor.
“I sure feel stupid,” she said as we started dancing. “When I told you that if ever you and Lori split up, to come and see me ... you must have thought I was so ignorant! I guess if that happens, then I would be at the end of a line, behind Megan, Jillian, Allison ... and maybe one or two others. Talk about me being a dummy; you must have thought I had tickets on myself or something.”
“Not at all; I mean, you weren’t to know my situation, and you were just expressing your desires,” I replied. “Of course, now that you know how my situation is; you probably realize that you don’t have to wait until Lori and I have split up, or anyone has left me; Lori probably said none of us are exclusive, if you follow.”
“Oh,” she said, almost stumbling. “I haven’t really thought along those lines ... I guess ... I’m not all that good at sharing; I really should speak more with Lori, or Megan, and work out how they have come to grips with that. I would have to learn how not to be jealous ... How would you feel if you had to share me with another guy? Or another woman?”
“Like I already do with Lori and Megan; there are other guys they sleep with.”
“Oh, fuck, I really put my foot in that, didn’t I? Maybe I should just shut up, and enjoy dancing with you. I really know so little about how your relationships work.”
“Don’t worry, things are pretty unusual with us; but what we have works for us. And to answer your question, if you and I were together, I wouldn’t get upset if you wanted to sleep with anyone else. Just because you would sleep with me doesn’t mean I would own you, and control your life.”
“You are so unlike any guy I’ve met before,” she said, and she tripped slightly over my foot. “Damn; now you’re getting me all confused, I should just shut up, and concentrate on dancing with you.”
“I’m not getting you all flustered, am I?” I said, smirking at her.
“Yes, you are, damn you! And stop laughing at me; I know I’m not good at dancing, and it takes all of my concentration. All the images you are putting into my head doesn’t help AT ALL.”
I smiled at her, and held her a little tighter, and continued dancing. When that song ended; I asked Tracy if she wanted to keep dancing, she just nodded her head and made an affirmative ‘uh huh’ sound. We kept dancing until it was time for me to get ready for the next set; despite her comment that she wasn’t good at dancing, she was light on her feet, and had a good sense of rhythm. I had to admit that I enjoyed dancing with her; it felt rather nice holding her body close to mine.
The next night, Saturday, Tracy came to the gig as well; I also danced with her during the breaks between sets. At the end of the last break, Tracy asked me if I would like to go out for dinner with her one night this coming week.
“There’s a restaurant down in Norton Street that I’ve wanted to try for a while, would you like to come with me?” she asked.
“Like, on a date?” I replied, and made a funny face at her, rolling my eyes.
“Yes, you dickhead, on a date. Don’t make a joke of it, and laugh at me; it was hard enough for me to get the nerve up to ask you, so if you’re going to laugh at me...”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh at you. I would love to go out to dinner with you; do you want me to pick you up from your place?
We settled the arrangements; I would pick her up from her place at a quarter to seven, she would call the restaurant to book a table for us. Once back home after the gig, Lori and Megan quizzed me about it.
“I think the poor, deluded girl is besotted with Will,” Megan said.
“I know, I tried to warn her about him,” Lori said, “but she seemed determined.”
“If you want, I can call her and say I can’t make it,” I said.
“No, you really should go out with her,” Megan said. “You can tell us how it went, and what she’s really like; since Lori and I will be going out with her next week.”
“Just don’t scare her off,” Lori said.
On Tuesday evening, I arrived at Tracy’s place with a few minutes to spare; the streets around East Balmain were narrow and confusing; with roads blocked off for no apparent reason. But I found the apartment block, parked in the car park, and climbed the starts to her apartment. I knocked on the door, and she opened it almost immediately. As soon as I saw her, I was glad I took the effort to dress up; she was wearing a rather nice long dress; not that I was an expert on materials or design, but it looked like it was some type of silk; and rather expensive, I was sure.
“You look lovely,” I said.
“Oh, thank you,” she replied, blushing. “Do you want a quick look around the apartment? Colin and Judy are out tonight, they are rehearsing a play that starts in a week’s time.”
The apartment was small, but nicely decorated. From the combined dining / living room there were views of Mort Bay and the ferry wharf at the end of the street. She didn’t show me the main bedroom that Colin and Judy shared; but I had a quick look in hers’, there was a big queen sized bed, a dresser; there were also views of the water and the park on the other side of the street.
The drive to the restaurant was pretty quick; we could (thankfully) avoid the main roads, and just cut through Rozelle and Lilyfield, coming into the back of Leichardt down Norton Street. I found a place to park just around the corner of the restaurant, and we walked the twenty or so metres. We were shown to our table, and handed the menus and wine list.
“Did you want to have a bottle of red?” she asked.
I flicked through the wine list; I really wasn’t a big expert on wines; I just knew a bit from having been around the Mirage for several years, see what wines were popular there.
“What sort of red do you like?” I asked. “A cabernet?”
She nodded.
When the waiter returned, we ordered our meals, and I asked for a bottle of the Penfolds Coonawarra Cabernet Sauvignon; that was one that I recognized as being pleasant.
“Actually, to be honest, Tracy, I’m not a big drinker, not of wine, or other alcoholic drinks,” I said.
I then told her about the medicine I was on for the heart arrhythmia; and how that interacted badly with alcohol. She was curious, so I told her about the background; how I had collapsed on the plane when I was planning on flying to Hobart to meet Lori. She was concerned about how my heart was; I noticed that as she was talking, she reached across to put her hand on my wrist; much like she did other week at the murder weekend. Then, during the murder weekend, she was playing a role of ‘flirting’ with me; but tonight there was no ‘acting’ with her behaviour. She was genuinely concerned about my health; when I told her that the only other time my heart had gone into a strange rhythm was when I had the stress test at the hospital, under controlled circumstances.
“But how did you get that panic attack on the plane?” she asked. “What set it off?”
I told her how one of the other musicians I had worked with told me that as a musician I would be tempting fate by flying; he listed all of the musicians who had been killed in plane crashes. It didn’t help that we boarded the plane in the middle of a violent thunderstorm. She asked if I had tried anything to cure myself of my fear of flying; I told her that there was a course that Qantas ran, which when I got time I would try it out.
“Have you tried hypnotherapy?” she asked. “I know of some people who have used that to quit smoking and other lifestyle changes.”
“To be honest, it wasn’t something that crossed my mind; I guess I’m slightly sceptical of things like that,” I said. “But, on the other hand, there’s nothing rational about my fear of flying, and how my imagination gets me into a panic. Maybe I should try that.”
At that moment, the waiter arrived with the wine I had chosen; he poured a small amount into my glass, expecting me to taste it. I took a sip; it was good, and he filled our glasses. He told us our meals would be out soon, and then disappeared.
“That wine is very good,” Tracy said after she took a sip. “For someone who says they don’t drink much, you chose a good drop. What effect does too much alcohol have on you, with your heart medicine? Do you just get pissed faster, or what?”
“No, it just makes me really sleepy,” I said. “I will limit myself to two glasses, otherwise I’ll fall asleep on you by the time I drop you off home!
“I’ve had worse dates than that,” she said. “At least you won’t get so drunk that you throw up all over me, and then pass out.”
“I promise I won’t do that!” I said.
The waiter arrived with our meals; Tracy had ordered the lasagne, while I had the spaghetti and meatballs. There was a plate with some crusty garlic bread on it; I tore off a hunk, dipped it into the sauce on my place, and ate a bite. It was exceptionally tasty. We ate in silence for a minute or two, and then Tracy put her silverware down, and reached over to touch my hand.
“Look, Will, I don’t want to give you the wrong impression about me, or why I asked you out tonight,” she said. “Ever since we met the other week, I’ve been attracted to you, sure, I know in the script for the murder weekend, I had to flirt with you, and all that; but ... even if the script didn’t include that, I would have done what I did; what we did. But now I’ve reached the point where I’m not sure how to continue; I know you’re in that ... different relationship; with both Lori and Megan, and with others involve as well. I’ve spoken with Lori and Megan, asked them all sorts of questions – some were pretty personal, and I was amazed they actually told me some of the stuff they did!
“Anyway, let me get to the point here. I know how things work between the three of you; well, between everyone involved with you, Lori and Megan. It’s certainly different, and the way Lori explained it all to me, well, it does make sense. Just speaking with them, it’s easy to see just how much they love you, and love each other; there’s no jealousy, nothing that would indicate they have a problem with the arrangements.
“But then I try to translate that to if I was included in that mix ... I’m taking a huge leap here, aren’t I? Maybe I’m just jumping to conclusions, I mean, you may not even think of me like that, or want me in that way. But let’s assume you did ... and you and I became lovers, well, you would want to remain lovers with Lori and Megan, too; and I wouldn’t want to take that from you, the three of you have something special there. But I don’t think I’m as broadminded as Lori and Megan, I think I would be wracked with jealousy if you were to be sleeping with them, or anyone else. I guess I’m not ready yet to make that leap into an open relationship.
“The two nights, when we were dancing during your break, it felt so wonderful, I loved being in your arms. I imagined ... well, I let myself get carried away with silly thoughts. Afterwards, when you had to get back up on the stage to play, I would be there sitting with Lori, and I was sure she knew just what I was feeling, how I was ... I was falling in love with her boyfriend. There, now I’ve gone and told you how I’m feeling about you, about us ... I had told myself before you picked me up explicitly NOT to say that I loved you, I didn’t want to put you in a difficult position, an impossible position of having to make a choice.”
She stopped talking, and took in a deep breath; it sounded almost like a sob.
I reached across between us and squeezed her hand. I could imagine the confusion and turmoil that she was going through at the moment.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is that as much as I’ve fallen in love with you, and as much as I would love to take our relationship to that next level, to the point where when we finish here, you take me home, and we go up to my room and make love all night ... I would really love to do that ... I know I couldn’t handle you then going back and sleeping with the other two; I know you would love me as well as loving them; Lori has explained how all that works, it’s just that I don’t think it would work for me.
“So, I know that if I was to have you as my lover, I couldn’t handle the open relationship; and I’m not going to be so selfish as to tell you to leave all of the others. That’s not right, I’m not going to break things up; I can’t do that. So, I guess, there’s not much of a future for us, is there?”
“Who says the only future for us is as lovers?” I said. “We don’t need to make love to remain friends, do we? Just because I sleep with Lori, Megan, Jillian and Allison; and every now and then, Ros; I have good women friends who I don’t sleep with, either. If you don’t think you would be happy in an open relationship, with me and the others, then I’m not going to say ‘piss off, have a good life, then’; I’m not going to pressure to sleep with me against your will.”
She squeezed my hand, and smiled at me. She looked like a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
“Thanks for that; you’re just as understanding as Lori and Megan said you would be,” she said. “Both of them said they would be fine with whatever you and I did; sleeping together, petting, kissing, just whatever I felt comfortable with. I must admit; I felt really strange when they told me that; I didn’t know what to say to them. But I would like us to remain friends, really good friends, maybe not lovers. God, that sounds so corny ... let me try to explain myself better ... I would be comfortable doing anything except making love; at least until I can get my head around this whole open relationship concept.”
“That’s sounds fine by me, too,” I said. “Now, can I tell you something about us? I really enjoy dancing with you; I love how it feels when you are in my arms; I guess this is where I say something corny, like ‘I love you, Tracy’ ... but I mean that, too, I’m not trying to be flippant, or make it seem like I’m not taking you or your concerns seriously.”
She looked down at her meal, and reached across with her other hand, so she was holding both of my hands.
“The other two said that I could be honest with you, telling you just what my feelings and fears were; and you would not make fun of me, but be really understanding. I initially thought that what they said about you, and the relationship you all have sounded too good to be true, but they were right. Maybe you’re just too good for me.”
“What do you me, that I’m too good for you? Is there something wrong with you, that somehow you’re not deserving of a guy who loves you for who you are, who respects you, and who will treat you with dignity, and not force you or make you feel guilty about not sleeping with him? That’s crap, Tracy; every woman deserves that; don’t put yourself down; do you think I would waste my time and emotions on you if I thought you were somehow less than deserving? Hmm, that didn’t come out quite the way I intended, but I hope you understand what I was trying to say. There’s nothing special about me, I’m no superhero; I just treat other people the way I want them to treat me. So if that makes me too good to be true; maybe that’s an indictment of other guys you’ve been involved with, and not a measure of how ‘deserving’ or otherwise you are.”
She appeared to have tears at the corners of her eyes; she took a hand from mine, and brushed them away.
“Our food is starting to get cold,” she said, he voice husky.
We finished our meals in silence, and when the waiter had cleared the plates, and we had ordered our desserts, she spoke again.
“You know that I’m going out one night next week with Lori and Megan?” she asked, and I nodded my head. “I got the strong feeling that they wanted to do more than just eat ... I mean, just eat dinner.” She laughed at her joke. “You don’t mind, that I might end up in bed with your two girlfriends?”
“Mind? The open relationship cuts all ways,” I replied. “If it’s fine for me to go out with you, and maybe end up in bed with you, or whatever happens, then I can’t really turn around and object if Lori or Megan want to do exactly the same thing, can I? That’s being a bit hypocritical.”
“Well, even if they are having sex with another woman, not screwing a guy? Surely that makes a difference?”
“How? If you are making love with someone, it’s the emotional connection that’s important, not the gender of the person, or the particular mechanics of what body parts get put where that determines what you’re doing. If one or both of them wanted to sleep with another guy – or guys – then that’s fine, under the rules that we’ve set up. It’s happened before, and I’m sure it will happen again.”
“So if I spend the night in bed with both of them, you won’t mind?” she asked. When I shook my head, she continued. “I’m just a bit apprehensive; I mean, I don’t have any concerns about being intimate with another woman; hell, when I was thirteen and fourteen, I guess like most girls of that age, we experimented with each other; practicing kissing, feeling each other’s breasts and pussies ... but it never got too serious. I’m worried that ... well, they’ve done so much more with other women that I have; what if I’m too inexperienced for them? I don’t want to be a disappointment; I really don’t know what I would be expected to do, and how to please them, if you know what I mean.”
“Well, I’m probably not the best person to talk about how things would be for another girl in bed with the two of them. But what I can say is that from experience, when they have slept with other women, everyone involved has been very satisfied. Now, you concerns about being inexperienced, or maybe the two of them expecting more from you than you might be comfortable doing ... let me ask you this; say you were in bed with a guy with almost no sexual experience; a virgin, how would you react? Would you say ‘hey, stupid, don’t you know where to stick it? Do you want me draw you a bloody map?’”
She laughed. “My God, where do you come up with stuff like that?”
“I know, it’s crazy. But you wouldn’t be like that; you would recognize his inexperience, and be helpful, instructive, and find a subtle way to teach him, to let him know what he should do. It will be the same with the other two; I know that they wouldn’t push you into anything you are uncomfortable with; they won’t judge you for what you might or might not do. If you want my advice, don’t try to anticipate what may or may not happen; just be prepared to enjoy yourself with them. I find that if you try to think things through beforehand; imagining what could happen, how you might react to things, then all you end up doing is setting up some preconceptions, some events that may not even happen.”
“This has to be one of the most surreal conversations I have ever had,” she said. “Here I am, having a lovely meal with a guy I’m really keen on, and we are talking about what it might be like having sex with his two girlfriends! You’re like no other person I’ve even met before.”
“Maybe we should change the topic of our conversation,” I suggested. “Why don’t you tell me about how you got into acting, and the sort of work you do, and what it’s like.”
“Oh, sure; as long as I don’t bore you,” she said. “I normally try not to talk about myself, but ... I was born and grew up in Adelaide; and at school I acted in some plays; which I really enjoyed. I joined the local theatre group, and then a few years back, I got a role in that TV series ‘The Box’. I’ve had a bunch of guest roles too, I don’t know if you watch ‘Glenview High’, but I’ve been in a few episodes of that, ‘The Young Doctors’, ‘Bellbird’, and a bunch of other TV series. I initially did most of my work in Melbourne, but of late, it’s all been up in in Sydney.
“Plus I do some stage shows, too; I played the role of Portia in ‘The Merchant of Venice’ earlier this year; that was a lot of fun.”
“‘The quality of mercy is not strained’,” I said, quoting from memory. “We had to study that in third form, I recall. What’s it like, doing Shakespeare?”
“I enjoy it, it’s challenging, because the roles are so well known, so well defined, you have a lot to live up to. But for the same reason, there’s little room to put your own interpretation on the role. Besides, there’s not that many good Shakespearean roles for women.”
“Lady Macbeth? Orphelia in Hamlet? Lear’s three daughters? Juliet?”
“Yeah, that’s true. But there are so many more decent, meaty roles for men. The trouble is, at least with TV work, I’ve become typecast, if they need a young, spunky girl, late teens to early twenties, someone who looks like they could be trouble, that’s me.”
“The type of girl my mother would have warned me about?” I suggested.
“Exactly. I mean, I shouldn’t complain, I get a good stream of work, but it’s all playing a very similar character, with no room for developing the role. That’s why the murder weekend was so much fun, I got to play a completely different role.”
Libbie
- 14.12.2022
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