Barber And His Friend Fucked My Mom
- 4 years ago
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I love fucking milfs, and so would you if milfs ever wanted to fuck you. There are so many reasons to love milfs, that it's impossible to list them all. Ever since Jennifer Coolidge played her iconic milf role as Stifler's Mom in the hit teen movie "American Pie," men have had their eye on their friend's moms.
Nostal-Jacking
Did Jennifer Coolidge ever create an Only Fans account? If not, she fucked up big time. I recently saw her in a commercial, but I know it didn't pay like Only Fans would. At this point, the bitch is a gilf, but the magic is still there. Plus, I think a lot of men would fuck and or jerk off to her out of nostalgia or just to say they did it.
On a side note, suggesting that "American Pie" was the straw on the camel's back for creating the Fleshlight would not be out of line. After witnessing that one motherfucker jam his member into a warm apple pie, teen boys everywhere started fucking everything in the house that wouldn't lead to grievous injury. As a result, many defiled stuffed animals and sullied microfiber blankets are weeping on their therapist's shoulder as I type. Their filling is jizzy, and seams shredded to tatters.
But that's a topic for another day. Today we focus on mothers I'd like to fuck, such as the incredible Penny Barber. Some of you might have a milf for a mother. It would help to explain the sexually abhorrent habits of many of my readers.
But remember, "explain" does not carry the same definition as "excuse." I don't care how sexy and fuckable your mama is. If you want to get all up in that puss, you're fucked up in the head. The only people I'll give leniency to are Penny's kids. I don't care how related I was to Penny. She could still catch this dick all she likes.
However, most of you bastards fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. That almost certainly means that you have busted-ass moms that look like Bigfoots, orcs, and or goblins.
It requires two ugly and unfuckable parents to create the physical horrors that are my readers. You fuckers don't just pop up out of nowhere. You are the product of your origins. If Penny is the product of her origins, I bet her grandma is a banging gilf. I don't need to see her to know it's true.
Keeping Hope Alive
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but milfs represent the shortest route from not penetrating the vagina to penetrating the vagina. To describe milfs as horny is an offense to them. These bitches have gone beyond horny into new unexplored territory of wetness. Their most apish urges are bubbling to the surface and demanding action. They want cock. No. They need cock. Without it, they live on borrowed time. Borrowed from the last D they rode.
When the need for a penis reaches the depths of desperation. When a bitch is on her knees begging God to bring her wang. When all other avenues cock-gathering have been depleted, that's when my readers jump in. Then, and only then, will guys like you have a chance at getting your dicks wet. Bitches know that you're not the best option for a sexual partner. That's why you have to present yourself as the only option.
Despite the reckless desperation of horny milfs, you loser fuck faces will still struggle to seal the deal. Regardless, I'll tell you the next step you can make that may inspire a fundamental change in how you live your life: If you find the right milf and provide her with the right dick, she could become your sugar mama.
I know you're familiar with the concept of a sugar mama because, as it stands now, your mom is your sugar mama. Oof. As sad as it is for you bastards to hear, it's the cold hard fact. Imagine how awesome it would be to have a sugar mama you don't share genetics with. One you can fuck. (when she lets you)
Pour Some Sugar On Me
I know you dumbasses are stupid as all fuck, so I'll need to spell out the exact step-by-step process to go from your mama's house to your sugar mama's house. Step one is jerking off to milfs like Penny Barber.
Everyone knows the old idiom, "practice makes perfect." Penny is how you'll get your reps in. Your penis must become highly familiar with the nature of the mother you'd like to fuck. You must become as the milf before you can fuck the milf.
Plus, we need you to build a resistance to the pleasures of the hot milf. Otherwise, you're bound to cum long before you've ever penetrated a bitches tight pussy. I know you guys have a lot of old jizz clogging up your pipes, so we have to make sure all that sludge isn't in the driver's seat of your balls, encouraging you to cum at the drop of a hat.
Penny is the ideal candidate for the job. If you can withstand the glaring intensity of Penny's fuckability then you can handle any milf the world will throw at you. Warning: You won't become skilled enough to fuck Penny by jerking off to her, but perhaps you'll gather the skills to fuck a milf twenty or so magnitudes less attractive. Sorry for getting your hopes up.
A Penny for your cocks
A great place to begin exploring Penny is through her Twitter account. Penny keeps her many fans up to date on content, platforms, streams, and live appearances through the platform. Plus, you'll get to see just how beautiful this woman is.
Penny describes herself as the B squad leader. The booty squad? The boob squad? The bod squad? To me, Penny is forever on the A squad. She's a first-round draft pick in my sexual Olympics.
I'm not the only one that notices Penny's skills and aesthetics. She is one of this year's nominees for the Adult Video News Awards Performer of the Year. That's as great an award as a porn star can earn for her work. When a bitch is in line for one of the highest honors in porn, you know she has some skills.
I'm sure you're all wondering how to contact her public relations team, so you'll be happy to know she's with The Rub PR. Finally, if you're attending the X3 Expo in January but haven't purchased tickets yet, use Penny's code BARBERX3 at check out.
Penny joined Twitter in June of 2009 and has since collected almost one hundred and fifty thousand followers. I'm surprised that number isn't a bit higher. My guess is that she wasn't always as active on Twitter as she is now. I will not be scrolling for an hour to find out, though.
The tweet currently pinned to the top of Penny's wall is a short video reminding fans to vote for her in the Adult Video News Awards. And because Penny knows what works, her tits are out during the clip.
You'll notice two things while watching the said clip. First, Penny has kind of an annoying high-pitched little girl voice. I'm sure all the watchers of creepy hentai will enjoy it, *Places peace sign against my cheek* but for the rest of us normal people, it's grinding.
Second, to make up for the voice, Penny has incredible nipples. Sometimes nipples get lost in a conversation about breasts, but they are so important. Penny's areolas are around average for her tit size, but the nipple protrudes by more than an inch. It makes sucking on those big mama milkers as fun as can be.
An Appriciated Talent
As you explore her Twitter, you'll find many retweeted voting announcements. There is a good chance that Penny walks away with more trophies than when she arrived.
In the past, she has been nominated for hottest milf, but has yet to take home the award. Penny isn't the only incredible milf on planet earth, but she's still extra sexy even when compared to the extra sexy. She can have my vote, and if she wants to touch my penis for it, I wouldn't say no.
Penny Barber has everything I look for in a milf. She has big tits, a tight ass, great pussy, and cocksmithing skills galore. Penny's face looks like a fashion model who just exited a bukkake.
My current complaint is about the overwhelming amount of voting announcements on Penny's Twitter. There are a dozen or more between actual posts.
Penny is ready to help you train your penis for fucking a milf one day. That day may never come, but better safe than sorry.
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It was just after nine o'clock at night and Penny and Richard were up in their tree house in the back yard. They were patiently waiting and watching. "Give me the binoculars," Penny said to Richard. "No, you had them for almost an hour, it's my turn." "Did not!" "Did too!" He had the binoculars trained on the bedroom window. THE window that looked directly into their mothers' room. Earlier in the day he and Penny had fixed the curtains in the bedroom so they would hard to, neigh...
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Penny’s encounter with a monster cockSome years ago when I was with my first wife Penny, I was working for a major UK company as regional engineer and was living in North Yorkshire from where I controlled a number of the company’s activities throughout the North of England. Part of my job was to acquisition fleet commercial vehicles and at the time many of these were purchased through a Darlington based company. They employed a senior salesman named Russ Blackstone who at the time was in his...
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LesbianWas it planned? no, did we think it could happen? it was something that had never entered our heads, but once it happened there was no going back….ever.Penny and I had met through my younger sister and hit it off right away. I won’t be k**ding you about tall and beautiful big tits and sexy legs, we were your normal twenty year old, Penny 5′ 3″ slim with nice pert tits and tight ass, me 5′ 8″ also slim and a bit bald on top. One thing which was different or at least unusual Penny was a virgin...
It was the middle of the night. Penny lay in bed next to her sleeping husband, John. She was naked and had one hand between her legs and the other fondling one of her tits. She looked across at John thinking what a kind loving man he was. It was so sad that his sexual drive did not match hers. He looked upon sex as being the way to make a baby. After they had a baby boy, David, his sexual interest in her ceased. In the twenty one years since then Penny had suffered increasing sexual...
It was the middle of the night. Penny lay in bed next to her sleeping husband, John. She was naked and had one hand between her legs and the other fondling one of her tits. She looked across at John thinking what a kind loving man he was. It was so sad that his sexual drive did not match hers. He looked upon sex as being the way to make a baby. After they had a baby boy, David, his sexual interest in her ceased. In the twenty one years since then Penny had suffered increasing sexual...
If you have read the first chapter you will already know quite a lot about us. Our story now move forward a little over 5 years. Our good fortune has continued we have our family a boy who is just starting school, work has been terrific with two further promotions. This took us to a house near the coast beyond our wildest dream given our modest background.We had only one problem Penny felt at a loose end, no not really true baby bored cooped up at home in a new area, and although she had made a...
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Penny was not a shy 16-year-old girl. With fully rounded breasts, a tiny body and a head of curly red hair, she was every high school boys dream. But Penny could care les about those boys. Yes, she had given her fair share of under the bleacher blowjobs and had lost count of how many high school boys had felt her up through her bra, but Penny had her sights set on Mr. Hasselback. Chad Hasselback was 39, a soccer coach with graying blonde hair and abs that could cut glass. Most importantly Chad...
I arrived at my friend’s apartment unannounced, late and half dronk. I’d been drinking and after starting to drive home decided I’d better not. Bob’s apartment was in a direct line from where I was to my own place so I stopped to crash on his sofa. I knew where he kept a spare key so I let myself in quietly then settled down to get some sleeep in his front room.I didn’t even know if he was home but it didn’t matter, wouldn’t be the first time he came in and found me in his living-room. After I...
Supper went off cheerfully and Penny stayed up with the others until they decided to go to bed. Caroline kept an unobtrusive eye on Penny as they got ready for bed but noticed nothing untoward. Penny actually was completely at peace for the first time since she had run away. She was going to get it all off her chest to the police and both Peter and Caroline had been reassuring that she would continue to be safe and that Ron would be sent to prison for a long time. She slept well. Everyone...
Penny felt her heart thumping excitedly as her mom took her to Miss Parker's house to receive her special training. She never in her wildest dreams ever thought that her parents would have her schooled in the art of sex. In an age old tradition, her mom in Paris had also had been taught to please a man by her mother. Now it was her turn. She sat in the front seat of the car and looked at her mom. She was stunningly beautiful. Leona, was a little French beauty. Her black hair was cut in a boyish...
This story follows a character introduced in "Elise Plans a Wedding", but it stands by itself. Prologue: Confused Looking back at things, I'd have to say that I've spent most of my life in a continual state of confusion. In fact. I am confused at this very moment. I seem to be in a college classroom, sitting in a circle, with about a dozen or so women. I think. Actually I'm a bit confused about that. I'm quietly staring at my feet, happy now that winter is over and that I can...
P.S. I am so fearful of rejection here that I have denied anonymous votes. Sorry. Penny, May I Rescue you from Hell? (Part one) Pennies from Hell I gave my taxi driver an extra twenty bucks to drive me to the street he called “Hooker Hell”. According to this capable-looking man, if the pimps didn’t have guns, then they at least had switchblade knives and they weren’t the least bit hesitant to cut off dicks and balls. “Furthermore,” he had added. “There won’t be a cop in...
"Penny Lane" "Hi," the man said as he extended his hand to shake mine. "Lane Hathaway." "Connie Haynes," I returned as I began gathering my things to leave. "I noticed you playing, well that first set anyway until your partner twisted his ankle. You move around the court pretty good for a smaller guy," he said as he looked me over. "I try to stay in shape," I returned as I left the indoor tennis court area and began moving out of the exclusive downtown men's club headed...