You Want Me to Call You What Ch 01
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VintageAdultPDF free porn video
I’ve been gawking at a Vintage Adult PDFs all morning, and I feel like they’ve taken me back to an earlier era. Sure, I was flicking through pages on a hard, glowing tablet instead of flipping through the sticky, glossy pages of yore, but the PDFs actually manage to capture those classic porno vibes. Maybe it’s nostalgia or maybe it’s the Viagra, but I certainly enjoyed the hell out of myself. I was going to jack off anyway, and these guys helped me take a masturbatory stroll down memory lane, where I busted a nut into an old tube sock with stripes at the top.
Like it says on the tin, VintageAdultPDF.com is a free archive of digitized vintage nudie mags. They’re a newer site, uploading their first magazine scan just a few months ago, but you’d never guess that without looking at the upload dates. They also get a lot more traffic than the average sex tube gets this early in the game, with an easy 30 thousand visitors spinning by last month. In case you couldn’t tell from the name, I’m actually a sucker for good porno whether it’s new or old. That’s why I was so eager to lube up and take a look around for myself.
Crack Into a Vintage Adult PDF
The internet has been one of the biggest developments in the world of pornography. I know that sounds like an oversexed pervert waxing nostalgic on his favorite topic, but porn is literally one of the biggest drivers of technology. Everyone’s still pretending they bought their VR helmets to play games, but you know exactly why I bought mine. Likewise with the internet, which gave us an instant way to share dirty pics and vids across the globe. Online payments were literally invented for selling porn.
If there’s been any downside to the rise of internet porn, it’s that the classic formats have dwindled in popularity. A couple generations ago, dudes slept on mattresses lopsided from all the paper stacked beneath. Guys who grew up near nature often have stories of finding stashes of forest porn, hidden from prying eyes in a metal box underneath a rotten log. Some of the younger pervs out there think I’m bullshitting when I talk about forest porn, but ask your elders. It was a real thing.
Even as a professional masturbator, though, it’s been decades since I bought a physical magazine for strictly fapping purposes. I picked up a copy of Hustler when they interviewed me, but the top shelves of truck stop magazine racks no longer hold the same allure. It’s hard to justify spending $12 on a magazine when I can get moving pictures with sound on the web, often without paying a dime.
VintageAdultPDF.com takes me way the fuck back, decades before my childhood even, with an archive of dirty magazines stretching back to the ‘40s. They’ve got a couple dozen 2000s-era mags, but the bulk of the material is from the ‘70s, ‘80s and ‘90s. I’d argue that this was truly the golden age of print pornography, as publishing techniques and public mores allowed for a beautifully polished, fapworthy product.
The Best Porno Mag Your Mom Threw Away
One of the Vintage Adult PDFs added today is a 2004 issue of Club Seventeen with a pretty blonde on the cover, showing off a nicely shaped rack. It says “Zomer Special” across the bottom, but since my mind usually lives in 2022, I read it as “Zoomer Special”. I don’t think I actually heard Generation Z referred to as Zoomers until recently, though. Turns out Zomer is Dutch for Summer, which explains the bikini.
I clicked through to see VintageADultPDF’s writeup on the issue. The site rolls with a blog-style presentation, which is a good fit for porn download sites like this. Most of the blurb for this one is written in Dutch, so I had to translate it. I thought it’d be a magazine description, but it appears to be a snippet from an erotic story. “Pressing down on the hot sun, I half lay on top of her so she could feel my erection.”
It's kind of an odd blurb, but what do I care? I’m here for the naked ladies. Beneath all the Dutch dirty talk, there’s a link to download the full 100-page Vintage Adult PDF. One of the site’s main draws is that they offer free downloads of everything in the catalog. At just under 300 MB, this issue will take up less space on your hard drive or SD card than your average new release from a video site. My videos over at PornDudeCasting usually take up a few gigs, but they’re totally worth it.
VintageAdultPDF.com feels very much like a personal porn collection, more akin to your dirty uncle showing you his stash hidden in the toilet tank than your average free porn site. I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole thing was run by a lone pervert or two who really appreciate the genre.
I look for that hand-curated vibe on the sites I review, because it tends to be a good sign. When one dude is sharing his personal stash, you usually get a higher level of consistency and quality. The biggest downside, on the other hand, is that hand-curated sites don’t have nearly as many updates as the machine-built ones.
VintageAdultPDF.com doesn’t add new issues every single day, but they are building the collection fast. I’m writing this at lunchtime on a Monday, and they’ve added seven porno mags to the pile today. There were no updates yesterday, but a nice handful of them the day before. Roughly, I’d say they add a few magazines every day or two, making the site a good place to include on your masturbatory rounds, particularly if you’re into vintage content or you’re a collector.
Vintage Porn Around the Globe
VintageAdultPDF doesn’t do the usual tagging you expect on a porn site, which makes it a little harder to browse and search than it would be otherwise. You can’t type your favorite keywords into the box, for example, and there’s no menu of categories to peruse with a hard dick. That’s kind of a bummer, and it’s an issue that will get worse as the collection continues to grow. Hopefully they start tagging issues with sex acts, fetishes, costumes and scenarios, like you’d find on most other sites. I’d hate to see good stuff getting lost in the shuffle because folks can’t tell what’s actually inside each magazine.
You can browse the Vintage Adult PDFs by upload dates, decade published, or language. They’ve got magazines in 16 different languages, making this a treat for international perverts, though this also calls attention to the lack of tags. Foreign porn is a lot easier to get into when it’s been tagged in your own language. I don’t think that’s going to be a dealbreaker for fans of vintage porn, though--not by a longshot.
Really, my biggest complaint about VintageAdultPDFs is my typical complaint about porn download blogs: everything is hosted on file locker services like RapidGator. It’s a great way to run a site like this without paying for a pricey hosting plan, but it does come with its own set of issues that you’ve probably run into before. Free users will find their download speeds throttled and their daily downloads limited, plus some added wait times just to fuck with you.
Because of the offsite downloads, I wish they had more in the way of preview images. Even a sample page or two would help you gauge the vibe of a rag before deciding whether to wait for a download or not. They currently only post a cover, along with blurbs that don’t tell you much about the content within. It feels a little like playing the lottery, since you don’t know if you’ll get a winner until you actually open one up in your PDF viewer.
Nitpicks aside, I’d be quick to recommend VintageAdultPDFs.com to fans of retro porn magazines. They’ve got a nice, well-rounded collection of the classics, it’s all free, and it’s growing fast. With my adblocker running, I didn’t even see a bit of spam during my visit, which is unusual on any type of free adult website. In other words, there ain’t much getting between you and those vintage sluts, so what are you waiting for? Hop in the time machine and have yourself a good fap!
Lauryn
- 07.03.2023
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- Vintage Porn Sites
