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My back ached, my feet hurt and I was tired, Friday evening, the end of a long week. I’m the high school librarian and I’d spent most of the day in the stacks, filing books. I’d been standing, bending and lifting all day. I went to the bedroom, changed my shoes for bedroom slippers and went to the kitchen to get a glass of wine.

My recliner called my name, I sat and kicked back, ah, yes, better; I sipped the Chardonnay.

My eightteen year old son Tony was going out for pizza and then to a concert, a group date, six of them, Tony was driving, I didn’t expect him before eleven. I thought I’d fix myself something light, maybe just some cheese and crackers and another glass of wine then I was going to climb into my Jacuzzi tub and luxuriate as its six jets massaged me, relaxed my muscles then to bed and a good night’s sleep.

My name’s Eleanor Justice, not Ell or Ellie, Eleanor, an old fashioned name for an old fashioned woman, no one had ever given me a cute nickname. I guess I just look like an Eleanor, kinda frumpy. I don’t even try to kid myself. I’m forty-three, five-three in my stocking feet and, yes, I wear stockings every day, at one hundred and fifty-one pounds I’m at least fifteen pounds overweight, my hair is mousey brown, it’s shoulder length but no one I work with would ever know it, I wear it in a bun and, of course glasses, reading glasses that hang from a lanyard around my neck; me, my appearance cries out, librarian, Eleanor the librarian; and I was one, I had been for the past fifteen years

My mirror wasn’t Cinderella’s step-mother’s either, it didn’t lie to me. Naked, I had large breasts that sagged, my tummy bulged and my bottom was broad. I wasn’t anybody’s MILF but I was a mother, fact was I was a single parent, the only parent Tony’d even known. Jim, Tony’s father, my husband was on his way to the hospital to visit me and to see his newborn son. He never made it, maybe he was distracted, new father and all, we’ll never know. He ran a red light and was t-boned by a box truck. The truck driver walked away, Jim didn’t, he was killed in the accident; he never got to see his son.

Tonight though, frumpy Eleanor was going to relax and enjoy herself, time alone, a light supper, another glass of wine then her bath, scented bath oil, maybe even a candle. I sighed in anticipation.

The phone rang, “Hello,” I answered.

“May I speak to Eleanor Justice please?”

“This is Mrs. Justice,” I replied.

“Mrs. Justice, I’m Officer Rosenblatt with the city police department, I’m afraid your son Anthony has been involved in an automobile accident, his injuries may be serious.”

Friday, April 1, 2011, April Fool’s Day, this had to be a prank, an evil prank. I sat down, my wine forgotten.

“Officer Rosen…

“It’s Rosenblatt, maam.”

“Yes, of course, Officer Rosenblatt, please what can you tell me?”

“No a lot, Anthony’s vehicle was struck on the driver’s side, near his door. The driver of the other vehicle appears to be intoxicated; our mobile testing unit is enroute. Anthony was attended by emergency medical technicians, he’s sustained a broken femur at the least, they put on a temporary splint and he was transported to Mercy Hospital, he was unconscious when the ambulance left the scene.”

I sat in shock, this was no macabre joke, Tony was in the hospital, first Jim and now Tony, I put my shoes back on and picked up my purse, car keys, I needed my keys.

I drove to the hospital in a daze, I wasn’t able to get any information immediately, finally one of the ER doctors came out.

“Mrs. Justice, I’m doctor Ewing, Tony’s resting now, he’s suffered a broken femur, he’s in traction and will be overnight. We’ve scheduled surgery for tomorrow morning, Doctor Xavier in coming in to consult, he’ll do the surgery, he’s our orthopedic surgeon.
Tony may have other injuries, he was unconscious when he arrived but he’d awake now. We won’t know the extent of any other injuries until we can get x-rays and an MRI.”

“May I see him?”

“Only for a few minutes, he needs to rest and, Mrs. Justice, don’t panic when you see him, he’s suffered cuts to his face, we’ve cleaned and bandaged them, it looks worse than it really is, they were superficial, we suspect from the air bag deploying.”

I stuck my head into the room, it was really a cubicle, they hadn’t assigned a room yet, “Hey Big Man,” my nickname for him. It fit, Jim had been a large man, Tony had inherited his genes; at eighteen he was already six-three and weighted 218 pounds. He was all state for his high school 4A championship team, tight end, and the college recruiters were already sniffing around. He was a junior, now those plans were in jeopardy.

I walked to his bedside and took his hand, I was glad Doctor Ewing had warned me, Tony’s head was a mass of bandages and his left leg was in traction.

“Hi Mom,” paining him but he tried a smile. “Guess football may be on hold for a while.”

“You’ll play again, I promise,” I said, I intended to do everything in my power to see that happen.

We talked for a few minutes; he didn’t have much memory of the accident, just headlights coming at him, squalling tires and a crash, nothing more.

I was thankful he hadn’t picked up the other kids, there would surly have been fatalities, and Tony’s injuries were more than enough.

Doctor Ewing stuck his head in and told me Tony needed to rest. I kissed his cheek and told him I’d wait outside.

The Doctor told me that I might as well go home and get some rest, Tony was sedated, he wouldn’t be able to talk until perhaps the day after tomorrow. The surgery was scheduled for seven the next morning, he’d spend some time in the recovery room then the tests, he’d be moved into a room after that but he’d still be sedated. I told him I planned to spend the night there at the hospital; I wanted a chance to talk to the orthopedist.

He said he understood, he’d let Doctor Xavier know I was there then he showed me to a waiting room.

“Mrs. Justice…Mrs. Justice,” I’d dozed off. I opened my eyes.

“I’m Doctor Xavier, I’m going to start Tony’s surgery in half an hour but I wanted to bring you up to date about what I know. I had them schedule his MRI and x-rays last night; I wanted the results before I operated. There was good news and, I’m afraid a little bad news. Good news, the break is four and a half inches above the knee, it’s a clean break. I’ll insert a titanium rod at the break point and secure it with screws, no cast. The bad news has nothing to do with the break but it will affect Tony’s recovery. The MRI showed a sprain in his left shoulder. He won’t be able to use crutches or even a walker until that has healed. I would have started him on half weight using a walker as soon as he’s discharged. Now, he’ll be bedridden until the shoulder’s healed. Tony will be here in the hospital until I discharge him, probably four days if there are no complications.

“I suppose I should ask, are you in a position to hire help, a nurse’s aide or an LPN,
there’ll be urine bottles, bed pans, sponge baths and daily massages to try to keep his muscles from atrophying.”

“No Doctor Xavier, I’ll take care of Tony, he’s my son.”

“Ok but I want to caution you, it’ll be a job, at least four weeks because of the shoulder before he can even start on the walker.

Mrs. Justice, why don’t you go home, get some rest. You’ll not be able to do anything here until tomorrow morning. After the surgery Tony will be in recovery for at least two hours so we can monitor him closely then he’ll be taken to his room, he’ll be sedated the whole time.

When Tony’s discharged he’ll be given prescriptions, a diet plan and information about physical therapy but there is one thing you can do if you would. Rent a hospital bed, I can recommend a supplier; it will make things easier for you and for Tony.”

We parted, I took his advise, went home. Not straight to bed though I was nearly out on my feet, first I called and rented a hospital bed, they’d deliver it Monday afternoon.

I went to my bedroom; I needed a shower, twenty-nine hours in the same clothes. I unpinned my hair and let fall then kicked off my shoes, unzipped and unfastened my tweed skirt and let it fall to the floor, took off my white blouse and unhooked my brassiere, freeing my 38D cup breasts. I walked to the bed and sat, unfastened my garter belt and stripped my hosiery off, yes, I wore a garter belt and hose, did not like panty hose. The shower called, I didn’t answer.

In just my panties I curled up in a ball in the middle of my bed and was out within seconds. I slept six hours, a troubled sleep, tossing and turning, bad dreams, I still felt unrested. I got up, I was hungry but didn’t feel like eating, I nuked a can of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup added a few crumbled crackers and poured a glass of iced tea.

I finally got the shower. I dried, brushed out my hair and got dressed, casually for me; tweed slacks, white blouse and one inch heeled closed toe brown shoes. At least I wore my hair down; I didn’t want to take the time to fix it in a bun. I wanted to get back to the hospital, at least get a peek at Tony even if he was sedated.

Tony was in his room, still out; a nurse was kind enough to go with me, she lifted the sheet, there was a bandage on his leg, they’d taken the ones on his face and I could see the cuts and bruising from the air bag. I kissed Tony’s cheek and squeezed his hand, told him I’d be back in the morning. I’d swear he squeezed back but maybe not, then went home.

Sunday, I spent most of the day at the hospital; Tony was awake but not particularly alert, pain medications the nurse told me. When it was time to leave I bent to kiss his cheek, Tony turned head towards me and our lips met, just a quick brushing of our lips.

He smiled at me, “Thanks Mom,” I wasn’t sure what he meant, thanks for being there or thanks for the kiss; he’d smiled through the pain, I liked to think it was the kiss. I couldn’t remember the last time I was kissed on the lips but it was at least eighteen years.

“Goodnight Big Man, I’ll be back tomorrow but it will be after noon, I have to go by the school first.”

Monday I drove to the high school and met with our human resources director. I explained what had happened and that I was going to have to care for Tony, I asked for and was granted an unpaid leave under FMLA, the Family and Medical Leave Act. The 60 days would carry me through to the summer break; I had five months that I could care for Tony.

I went back to the hospital for a short visit; I needed to be home in the afternoon to take delivery of Tony’s bed. I looked for space in the living room then thought, that wouldn’t be very convenient for Tony or for me, if he needed help during the night I’d be in my bedroom sleeping. I moved a few pieces of furniture around and made room for the bed, he’d be in my room with me.

The men arrived and set the bed up where I instructed, showed me how it operated and how to make it up. The bed was made, waiting for Tony when they left.

I considered going back to the hospital but I’d been on the run since Friday night and I just wanted to relax, time to think, just a few hours for Eleanor. I poured myself a glass of that Chardonnay, sat down in my recliner and watched the evening news.

After the news I had some cheese, crackers and fruit for my supper then went to the bedroom. I was going to get that bath, I started the water running to fill the tub, lit two scented candles, added a little bath oil, got a second glass of wine and set it on the ledge of the tub then began to undress.

Nude, I turned on the Jacuzzi jets and eased into the steaming water. The jets, my feet, my thighs my hips, hydrolic massage, oh so nice, I could feel the tension flowing from me; I lay back and sipped my wine.

My eyes were directed at the candles, their dancing flames and I let my mind go. The hot swirling waters, the flicker of the flames casting shadows, the wine, the absolute ambience, the sensuality of the moment, my mind wandered; Tony’s smile, Tony’s kiss, did it mean anything?

I set my glass aside, my breasts were floating on the water, I took them in my hands. I twisted and tugged gently on my nipples, my breasts were swollen, my nipples sensitive to my touch and there was a clenching in my abdomen, feelings I was giving myself, feelings I hadn’t had in eightteen years.

I was aroused, sexually aroused by my eighteen year old son’s kiss. I did something I’d never done before, my right hand sunk under the water and I touched myself, I was panting, and then I did more than simply touch, I pushed the hood of my clitoris back and I rubbed, so long, so very, very long, chunky, soft, forty-three year old Eleanor the librarian wailed, a sound I’d never made before, not even with Jim, I wailed,

“Tonnneeeee, Tonnneeeeee,” For what could never be, for what I so wanted but could never be, I wanted my son, I wanted my eighteen year old son to make love to me.

And I climaxed, orgasm after orgasm rolled through me, shaking and shaken, dazed I lolled in the water.

My mind awhirl, I got out, dried and crawled between the sheets. No sleepwear, nude, sleep didn’t come easily, not the nightmare dreams of Saturday, no mine this night were erotic, lush, my son was my lover and he loved me.

I woke, the previous night was a dream, I pulled the sheet aside, no, it was no dream, I usually sleep in an oversized Tee-shirt adorned with a cartoon character; Garfield, Snoopy, Peanuts, they’re loose, comfortable come to about mid-thigh. Oh I had some flannel gowns but they only came out when the weather was frigid. But I was naked. I got up, went to the bathroom, sat, urinated then put on panties, a robe and slippers went to the kitchen and made coffee.

It was Tuesday, the big day; my Big Man was coming home this afternoon. Oh how I was looking forward to his return but I was also anxious, excited and a little scared. My tummy was turning flip flops and I was churning, my abdomen was clenching, my uterus clamping, contracting in fearful anticipation. I’d decided, I was going to try to seduce my son; if he rejected me I knew I’d die, disappointment, embarrassment, humiliation, I’d literally die. I couldn’t sit still in my chair, squirming my panties were getting damp, I was leaking, my vagina was crying, tears soaking my panties, crying to be filled, stuffed by my son.

Eleanor the librarian; hardly; wanton Ellie, that’s how I felt. I couldn’t eat, just the coffee. I dressed and drove to the hospital, Tony wouldn’t be discharged ‘til afternoon. I wanted to visit with him then spend a few minutes with Doctor Xavier for special instructions. I wouldn’t be at the hospital when he was released; he was being transported by ambulance on a stretcher so his leg could remain immobilized.

I spent about an hour with my son before Doctor Xavier could meet; it was time to go.

Tony motioned with his right arm, “Come here Mom,” he asked.

I walked to his bedside.

With his right arm he circled my waist and pulled me down, he kissed me, not tongues but a real kiss, our lips met and he kissed me, it didn’t feel like a “Mom” kiss either, when our lips parted he gave me that dazzling smile.

“I really want to get home Mommy; I want you to take care of me.”

I nearly melted, became a blubbering puddle right there on the floor, he’d called me Mommy, not since he was twelve and he’d called me Mommy, it almost hurt, the feeling that struck me, my tummy, my tummy and lower, I felt like I’d gushed. If I had to sit while I talked to the Doctor I’d leave a puddle on his chair.

I brushed the hair off Tony’s brow and squeezed his hand, “I can’t wait for you to be home.”

Doctor Xavier gave me some pamphlets detailing how I should care for Tony incision, two prescriptions; one for an antibiotic the other for pain medication and told me he should have an aspirin daily, not for the pain, aspirin’s also a blood thinner, it would reduce the risk of clotting. He gave me a basic diet, heavy on iron and calcium, beef, liver tomatoes, milk, spinach. Finally he told me that I should massage his leg daily but to massage across the grain of the muscle, across his thigh rather than up and down, I needed to work the muscle but not at the risk of pulling forming scar tissue loose. Finally, he told me I’d need a urine bottle and a bed pan.

“Mrs. Justice, remember, I cautioned that caring for Tony would be a task, I wish you the best; take care of him he seems like a great kid.”

I left the hospital and drove to Walgreen’s, gave them the prescriptions and shopped while they were being filled. They had the bed pan and the urine bottle; I picked up a plastic tub, too, for his baths. The prescriptions were ready, I paid and left for the supermarket, liver, beef, tomato juice, milk, all the things the Doctor said I needed to feed Tony then a few things he hadn’t mentioned, that I’d read in the pamphlet, just about any green leafy vegetable, beans and especially lintels, I picked up bok choy and broccoli, some legumes; then I went home fixed a lintel salad and nervously waited. I’d cook the veggies and meat after Tony was settled in.

The ambulance arrived a little after four-thirty, there were two attendants, they wheeled Tony in and transferred him to the hospital bed. After they’d left I went to his bed, I had set the bed so I had to approach from the right side and I did, I mopped his brow with a tissue, he’d broken a sweat, the stress from being moved, lifted, moved from the hospital and lifted into the bed.

“Welcome home, son.”

I took his hand and squeezed, “I’m so happy to have you here with me Tony, now we need to work to get you back on your feet. Part of that is diet, I’m fixing sautéed liver and onions, spinach and a bean salad and you’ll have a glass of milk.”

He kinda turned up his nose, “At least the milk sounds good.”

“Well that’s your dinner, mine, too then I’ll give you a massage.”

I went to the kitchen and prepared supper. Served us both on trays, raised the back of his bed so he was sitting up and put the tray across his lap, sat on my bed and did the same with myself. We ate and talked. After we’d finished I took the trays back to the kitchen and came back.

“Ready for your massage,” I asked. I was going to use an Aloe Vera lotion.

The attendants had covered Tony with a sheet, when I lifted it off he was dressed in a hospital Johnnie, open in the back. I thought, tomorrow I’d change that, maybe one of my big Tee-shirts.

I started with his bad leg, I thought I’d do then both, even though the right was uninjured it could still atrophy from disuse, there was just enough room on the left of the bed for me to squeeze in.

I warmed the lotion between my hands, “Let me know if I hurt you,” and started.

I kept away from his incision, working the muscles further up his thigh, across the grain of the muscle. I wasn’t kneading the muscle very hard, I was afraid of hurting him, as he healed I’d work it harder.

I wriggled out from the tight space and went to his right side, this leg I could massage more deeply, I started at his calf, then his thigh, up to the top of his leg. I’d raised the Johnnie so that his legs were exposed but his groin was covered.

At the top of his leg, my hand brushed against his scrotum and the Johnnie started to grow a tent, Tony was getting hard.

He reached for and circled my hips; I’d changed before I started his massage, I had on one of my long Tee-shirts, “Beep-Beep the Roadrunner,” and a pair of panties, my breasts were unfettered, hanging and I was barefooted.

He pulled me closer against the bed, the short rail was up.

“Put the railing down, would you please Mommy?”

I lowered the rail; my insides were quivery, that word again, Mommy.

The Johnnie was hardly containing him. “Touch me Mommy, please touch me.”

I pulled the hem of the Johnnie higher, his erection slid from under it and stood straight up. Tony was pretty big, bigger than his father and that was my only comparison, he must have been over 7 inches long. I touched it, with the tip of my finger I touched it then ran my finger along its length, Tony was circumcised, the head was an angry reddish purple, the shaft like a steel rod wrapped in satin, the skin soft, smooth.

I took him in my hand, still slick with the Aloe lotion and I stroked him, only four or five strokes, Tony was ready, “Mommy I’m gonna cum, oh I’m gonna cum.” I grabbed a handful of the tissues and held him while his penis jerked, spewing his semen into the Kleenex. I’d only taken his father in my mouth a few times, I didn’t like it and, of course, I’d never tasted his semen; I knew that would soon change, I wanted Tony in my mouth and I wanted to swallow his seed.

He didn’t completely shrink, he remained at half-staff. I felt his hand slide up the back of my thigh, bare hand on bare flesh, he was under my nightie, he cupped my pantied bottom, caressed me and kneaded my cheeks, I was getting wetter by the second then his hand was at my front, he massaged my abdomen then slid lower. I opened my legs, I wanted his touch. He cupped my sex and traced my slit through my panties then he slipped through the leg hole and was inside the gusset.

I felt his fingers on me, then in me, one finger then a second, pumping into my liquid center. He took his hand away, no, no Tony, no, don’t stop my mind shrieked.

He took his fingers to his mouth, licked and sucked them, he was tasting me, Eleanor the librarian, pooh, right now I’m Ellie the MILF, I know one guy that wants to do that with this mother and it’s the guy I want it to be.

His fingers are back in me, probing me, deeper, searching for my “G” spot, he’s found it and he’s rubbing me there, Oh God, I’m gonna cum, I feel a little tremor and a sweet release, not powerful but nice.

Tony pulled his fingers out; was he going to taste me again? No, he’s offering his fingers to me. He wants me to taste me. Not gonna happen, no way, no, I take the fingers in my mouth; slightly salty, acidic, I suck his fingers clean.

Wanton, I feel so wanton, Tony’s fully erect again; he’s tasted me, I’ve tasted me, there’s only two things left and I’m gonna do them. Wanton, completely, I take him in my mouth. I’m not experienced but I do know enough to keep teeth out of the equation, I bob up and down then lick, swirling my tongue around him, up the underside then teasing the little eye and back between my lips. Youth, quick to reload but quick to fire, Tony’s cock is jerking and I feel him swell, last chance, grab the tissues, no way, he spasms and I swallow, up and down, sucking his juices into my mouth and swallowing, on him until he’s flaccid, one of the two things, now the second, I kiss him with him on my lips I kiss him, he doesn’t turn away, he kisses me back.

“Mommy get into bed with me, there’s room,” as he tries to scoot over, “I want to suck your breasts.

I take my long Tee-shirt off, my 38Ds still sag, I can see they do but they must be beautiful, a handsome young man wants them, wants to suck then. I crawled in beside him and offered one to him, he took it and suckled like a baby and it felt exquisite, Tony went to sleep on my breast. Like a baby his mouth kept working while he slept. When at last my nipple fell from his mouth I got out of bed and went to mine. I took my panties off and, naked got under the sheets.

Before I dozed off I wondered when would be the next time I wore undergarments, I’d decided I’d wear a light robe and slippers, nothing else, if Tony wanted to touch me I would be available.

Three weeks later Tony was still bedridden but the shoulder was better, maybe another week and he could try the walker, start exercising and strengthening the leg. We were both anxious; we wanted to consummate our relationship. We’d already gotten pretty creative though.

I gave Tony oral at least twice daily, I probably had a belly full of his cum, I didn’t let a drop escape. The creativity came, he wanted to taste me, not on his fingers, he wanted to taste me.

Now if I’d been a 18 year old Romanian gymnast it probably would have been easy, I am, of course a chubby forty-three year old but after several futile attempts we found two that worked.

I liked one and Tony preferred the other.

Mine, I lay with my left leg under his head, the right over the top. The first time we worked this out I thought I’d died, and I knew I’d gone to heaven. Tony tugged on my labia with his lips then he licked me, oh, when his tongue snaked along my vulva, the sensations were unbelievable; he dipped the tip of his tongue into my vagina. I’d never had oral sex, he took my clitoris between his lips and sucked me into his mouth, the sensitive tip he teased with the tip of his tongue and I went places I’d never been before, I’m forty-three and I had no idea what was happening, my body started to tremble then tremors shot through, my chubby tummy was rippling, I exploded, my insides turned liquid, I thought everything in me was flowing out my vagina, I moaned,

“Unnnnnnnnn, Unnnnnnnnn, Tony, Tony, oh, oh, oh, Aaaaaaaaaaaaah,” I was drained and Tony was licking me, cleaning everything that flooded from me, he was drinking his Mommy. I nearly fainted from the intensity of my climax.

I could only lie with Tony still between my legs. Nearly five minutes later I was able to raise my head.

“God Tony what did you do to me,” I implored, “That was undoubtedly the most intense, exquisite experience of my life, at the end I felt like I was falling apart, I shook so much.”

He just winked and smiled at me.

But Tony’s favorite, I lie with my bottom near his face and I pull my knees up to my chest, he can reach my vulva from behind but the only way he can reach my clit is with his fingers or, sometimes he holds my hand against me, makes me rub myself. It feels good but nowhere as nice as his tongue.

He tells me that he likes that position best; he likes my scent, the mixture of my woman’s aroma mixed with the earthy redolence of my bottom; his words. I think he likes it that way because he can touch me there, in my bottom; he’s licked me there, he’s pressed me with the tip of his tongue against me. One time he even put the tip of his finger in me and pumped me a little bit. It was a strange sensation, I didn’t tell him to quit, in fact some of the things he’s done felt kinda good. I guess it’s my prejudices surfacing, I always thought; dirty. Maybe when I was a baby my mother used a rectal thermometer but I can’t remember ever being penetrated, not my husband not even my Doctor, I’ve never had a rectal examination, proctoscopy or a colonoscopy and Tony had a finger in me. I think he wants to have sex with me that way and I know I’ll say yes if he asks; I don’t think I could deny him anything.

I mean, I’m still forty-three, I’m still five three, my breasts still sag, my tummy’s still got a roll and my bottom’s still broad. I have lost four pounds; I’m down to down to one forty-seven, probably because I’m eating what I fix for Tony, healthier. But that’s not my point, I look much the same but I don’t feel like Eleanor the frumpy librarian, I feel like a sexy woman with a young lover. I think I’m prettier, my skin has a glow and there’s always a smile on my face. Tony’s noticed, the glow, he commented on it. I told him I was certain it was the diet; two or three helping of a young man’s semen daily would make any forty-three year old woman glow.

Week five and Tony’s off the antibiotics, he still has the pain pills by doesn’t often need them. He’s been using the walker for a week now, the shoulder ligaments have tightened back up, it’s pretty well healed. I have to watch him, he wants to do too much to fast, I don’t him to fall and have a set back but I can’t say I’m upset about the fact he’s mobile, no more bed pans. The urine bottle was not too bad but the bed pan and the clean up, I don’t miss that at all.

Tonight’s dinner will be a little treat, lean steaks, asparagus and baked potatoes with a bottle of wine, a Chilean red then we’re having German Chocolate cake for dessert, it’ll be a real taste treat for both of us, baked potatoes, the Chocolate cake and certainly the wine have been off the menu for the past five weeks. It’s a small celebration over his progress but, even more it’s a precursor to our evening, we’re going to have sex for the first time.

I know, it may sound clinical but we discussed which positions would work best. Missionary was out and certainly not him behind me, doggie, cowgirl, me on top might work but we finally decided we’d start in the most docile of positions, spooning, him behind me; we’d move to the others as his leg strengthened.

I hadn’t discussed it with Tony but I was still fertile, I still had my periods and I hadn’t prepared for tonight. I had an appointment with my Doctor, I was going to have an IUD inserted but that was no help tonight or any other night before my appointment. I wasn’t going to ask Tony to use a condom, maybe more for me than him, I wanted his cum in me, I planned to keep it all night. I’d checked on the web and learned about 1.5 mg of levonorgestrel, I bought it under the brand name I-pill, it’s a morning after pill that I’d use ‘til my appointment. Much as I’d love to have Tony’s baby that was an impossibility, at forty-three the health risk would simply be to great for me.

After dinner I cleared the table, loaded and ran the dishwasher then took Tony’s glass and with mine carried them to the bedroom, Tony was trailing with his walker. He sat on the side of my bed, I lay behind him and curled around him, I must have looked for all the world like a contented cat. We sipped our wine, Tony could touch me, he stroked my side, the side or my breast, talking to me,

“Mommy I want to confess something, tonight is going to be the culmination of a dream, a fantasy, I feel so close to you, I feel I can confide a secret no one else knows; Mommy I’ve desired you since I was twelve, you were my fantasy when I masturbated, it was you I was with when I had wet dreams. If it was because of my injury, the intimate things you did for me that brought us together, that gave us the chance for tonight I don’t regret it, if I can’t play ball again, I don’t regret it. How many people have their dreams come true, well mine’s coming true tonight?”

My eyes were leaking, I felt so loved, so desired, a complete woman, I’d never been happier, I couldn’t drag Tony to the bed and make mad passionate love to him, I wanted to but I couldn’t. I snuggled closed to him and circled his waist with me free arm.

“Would like to lie down with me, let me hold you and kiss you Big Man?”

“Yes, Mommy, I’d like that.”

I got up and helped him out to the my Garfield Tee-shirt, he was nude, I helped him to his right side, his injured leg on top, bearing no weight; then I took off my robe, I was naked under it. The only times I’d had underwear on in the past five weeks was when I had to go out for shopping. I crawled into bed; facing him we were on top the sheets, I think we both wanted to see the other’s body. I took him into my arms.

I sighed, it was heavenly, my young lover in my arms and I kissed him a passionate kiss, teeth and tongues, bruised lips, unbridled passion, an urgency I’d never had, I rose in the bed just a little and guided him to my breasts, I was so swollen I thought they might burst, God they must be E cups right now I thought and my nipples were so hard they ached.

“Suck my breasts, God please suck my breasts son,” Relief and a little release.

He had my nipple in his mouth, sucking like a baby sucks, my other breast was in his hand, he was gently kneading it, circling my nipple with the tip on his finger, rubbing the bumps on my areolas, Montgomery glands, teasing me on one breast while he sucked the other, I had to turn just a little to expose my other breast to his mouth, I did, he sucked.

I’d breast fed Tony for two years, he’d paid a little oral homage to me over the past five weeks but nothing like he was doing now and I remembered the feel I got when he was my little baby when he nursed; it gave me a clenching feeling in my uterus, I was feeling that long lost feeling right now, relief from the ache in my breasts and a little release, my inner thighs were damp, I was lubricating heavily, almost a flow, I was ready, I wanted Tony, his erection was stabbing my belly, so was he.

“Will you make love to me now,” I almost purred as I rolled over, my back to him.

I felt his erection prodding me, I arched my back exposing myself to him; he guided himself to the throat of my vagina then paused. If what he’d said a few minutes earlier was true and I wanted to believe it was, I understood the pause, he was about to enter me, his mother, his dream, I waited for him, I wanted him in me, I could have backed onto him but I waited.

I was on my right side, I he slid his hand under my right hip then his left was on my top hip and he pulled me back to meet his thrust, he slid into me, not forcefully but hardly gently, he pushed into me.

I gasped, “Unnnnh,” eightteen years, empty, barren of a man’s attention and Tony was bigger than any previous visitor, he opened me and he stretched me and I reveled in the bittersweet pain, he’d left eightteen years ago, he was back, filling my vagina as he’d filled my womb those many years ago and he began to stroke into me, his mobility was limited, I helped him; I helped me, I worked my hips and I thought words, words that my prim librarian’s lips had never spoken, aloud, I’m not sure but they’re so vivid I must have uttered them, “God yes Tony, your big cock, stuff me, stuff Mommy’s cunt.”

No, I couldn’t have spoken those words, there are better words, I’m a librarian, I’m a reader, I’ve found a kindred spirit, she, of course doesn’t know, I’d never let any know my little vice but I liked to check out some of the erotic sites on the internet, I didn’t want pornography, I wanted erotica, I stumbled on a site, eroticxxxstories.com and I read some of the blogs. There’s a woman there, her screen name is Brigit Astar and, like me she’s a reader of nineteenth century erotica, romance with passion written by authors that could actually write, not pornography, truly erotic stories that had character development, a plot and romance, of course there was sex but not the trash that seems to be the norm today; I ate her then I fucked her? Erotic, about as erotic as taking out the trash, no, breast swelling, nipple hardening tales, that’s erotic writing.

I can’t believe I’d let my mind wander, not now, Tony was filling me, and I realized it was only my mind that had wandered, my body was still working back, forcing him deeper into me. I liked the slight pain I was feeling as he stretched me, Tony was stroking me faster, harder, I wasn’t ready but he was, that was ok with me, we’d do this again and again, I knew that, I was his Mommy but I was his lover, his dream. He gripped my hips, pressed himself hard against me and spewed, his penis was jerking, spewing his semen, his sperm into me. He pumped me, then slowed, finally stopping, the exertion had exhausted him, he climaxed and almost immediately dozed, he’d spend the night in my bed

I clamped my thighs together; his flaccid penis was still in me when I dropped off to sweet erotic dreams of the nights to come.