Preachers Daughter Chapter 13 and Preacher Sucks
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Tuesday afternoon.
Dan couldn’t take it anymore. He hadn’t heard from Jo since he left her apartment on Saturday. He knocked on the apartment door. When Jesse opened the door, she seemed relieved to see him. Just from that reaction, Dan knew the situation at the apartment was bad.
‘Danny, you’ve got to do something. She hasn’t said a word since…What happened to your face?’
His lip and left cheek looked better the day before. He licked the still swollen corner of his mouth. The bruising in the shape of a fist made it impossible to not see that he’d been in a fight, but he kept silent anyway by keeping the attention where it should be, ‘She didn’t come to class. That’s two days in a row. I’m not waiting until tomorrow.’
Jesse let him in and watched him set down a grocery bag. ‘She hasn’t left the house since you brought her home. Will you please tell me what happened? I haven’t gotten a word out of her, and you look like shit.’
Dan would have said something like, ‘Thanks a lot. Like your opinion of me matters,’ but he was too distracted. ‘She in bed?’ He went through the cabinets and drawers to assess his inventory.
‘No, she’s in the shower. What are you doing? And, you still didn’t answer me. What happened to you? Gary hasn’t called back. I called him about twenty times. Did he do that to you?’
‘I’m doing something,’ he flatly said as he opened the refrigerator and smelled the gallon of milk. Satisfied that it was fresh enough, he put it back in and moved on to opening the crisper. ‘Has she eaten?’
‘I don’t know. I had to go to class today. She definitely didn’t eat yesterday…’
‘Okay,’ he closed the refrigerator and looked Jesse squarely in the eye for the first time. ‘You need to leave.’
‘What?’
He waved toward the door. ‘Go visit Terrence. I don’t know why, but he probably misses you.’
‘I’m not leaving Jo.’ She crossed her arms over her chest.
‘I’m sorry. I can’t have you hovering like this if I’m gonna get her fed.’
‘I don’t want to leave her with you…’
‘Did she tell you what happened?’
Jesse shook her head and looked to him in anticipation of an answer to her questions.
‘If she didn’t tell you what happened, she has her reasons. I won’t go against that, so don’t ask for any explanations. If you want to get mad at me, that’s understandable. Right now, how you feel bears no weight. You need to leave, now.’ Daniel turned his back on any plea Jesse might make. He pulled out the small pots and pans and got to work as he heard the girl pick up her keys.
‘How long do you think you need to be alone here? I mean I know how you are, and… Just don’t do anything…’
Dan closed his eyes slowly, to keep from choosing a throwing implement. This was the same girl that set up that ambush at the shop He and took in a slow breath before answering, ‘I’ll be here for as long as she needs.’
‘Well, I don’t think…’
‘Jesse, you’ve done enough damage, okay,’ he grumbled. ‘She needs to eat. She needs quiet. In all of the times I’ve seen you, you’ve never been quiet, ever. Can you honestly tell me that you would leave us alone if you stay?’
***
Jo let the shower run cold before she got the urge to get out. She shivered in the tub for a few minutes until she could get warm enough to grab her towel and huddle on the edge of the tub. She heard Jesse making noise in the kitchen. Jo sighed, ‘I must have really scared the crap out of her, if she’s trying to cook.’ Jo couldn’t remember the last time Jesse even boiled water. She lacked the desire to go out. It was too exhausting to even think about being nice to even Jesse. She knew this was wrong. Something in the pit of her stomach rolled around. She listened as the clanging continued. She was sort of hungry. She got up and slowly made her way to her room. Jo vetoed her body’s idea of putting on a fresh night shirt and slipping back into bed. She pulled on a pair of jeans from the floor and her favorite baggy shirt. It wouldn’t do to spend the entire day in pajamas. She paused at the door. ‘What am I gonna say to her? She’s gonna ask. She’s the philosophy major, remember? She’s gonna grill you like a ten dollar steak. No, you can’t let him do this to you. You stood up. Stand up some more. What for? Did acting like some raving lunatic make you feel any better?’ She caught herself in the mirror She barely recognized the sad girl looking back at her. ‘Yeah, what for.’ She opened the door and walked down the hall toward the kitchen. The warm scents of food hit her before she got around the corner. ‘Jesse must have ordered out.’ She peaked in to see the back of a man rummaging through the refrigerator. Before she could muster a smidgen of fear, he rose to turn back to the stove and smiled at her, ‘Good afternoon, beautiful.’ Dan casually said as he turned his back again and cleaned up the mess from his preparations.
She racked her brain to figure out why he would be in her apartment. ‘It’s Wednesday?’ She could barely hear herself. Instead of explaining things to Jesse, she’d resorted to silence. It had been so easy to ignore the prattling of her friend on the outside when she had the doubts rising up on the inside.
‘No, it’s Tuesday. I figured, you haven’t had a good meal in a few days.’
‘I can cook,’ she said. Her unused voice cracked. She hunched her shoulders as he let her words hang unassisted as he continued to clean.
When he finally spoke, it was a slow low thing. ‘I know you can. Jesse didn’t bring all of these pots with her. No double boiler, though. Dreadful,’ he sucked on his teeth.
‘I didn’t need one,’ she found herself replying.
He glanced up at her and said, ‘You don’t need one until you need one.’
She dropped into the nearest chair, and Daniel quickly set a plate in front of her. It was filled with a four egg omelet, four sausage patties, strawberries, and a sliced orange. He followed the plate quickly with a large glass filled nearly to the brim with orange juice.
‘I’m not hungry,’ she tried to lie as her stomach gave her away. It wasn’t a small quiet thing, either. It was a completely empty stomach rumble that lasted for a long time. She was desperately ravenous, but she didn’t want him to know that. She couldn’t understand why his presence made her feel warm and ashamed at the same time.
‘If that’s too much for you, I can make you a fruit salad.’ He just stood there and watched her examine the plate. They both knew she wasn’t going to eat it. ‘Look, you need to eat. You’ll get sick if you don’t.’
‘I can’t. I…’ She made the mistake of glancing up into his battered, worried face. His generally disheveled hair wasn’t a shock. His rumpled clothes were the norm. She saw the marks across his face and breathed, ‘What happened to you?’
‘Nothing.’ He brushed off as he sat down next to her and pointed to her plate. ‘Food in your stomach is more important.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ she pulled her arms to her ribs to prevent another abdominal growl. ‘What happened to you?’
‘What? I can’t hurt myself without…’
‘No, you can’t.’ Her eyes narrowed as she hesitantly raised a hand. He saw her do it and urged her on with his eyes. She examined the knuckle imprint across his cheek with light fingertips. ‘Somebody hit you. Why can’t you tell the truth? If it was Gary…’
‘Why do they always think its Gary?’ He leaned in and sighed, ‘It wasn’t Gary, though he may be good for it some other time. So, have you done any reading?’
She looked up at him in a sideways glance and dropped her hand to the table. He shied away from her silent criticism. He knew he’d done wrong by trying to change the subject. He wanted to apologize.
He seemed to be about to tell her something, but thought better of it. ‘I’ll leave you to eat,’ was all he said.
The way that her lips pursed meant that she saw him stop himself. She was paying attention
to him in that all encompassing way that he’d enjoyed when they were alone in the office together. He fought the urge to blurt out everything that happened over the course of two days. ‘No, I want to detail every minute since you walked away from me. I want to talk until my voice goes. But, you can’t deal with that, right now. I gotta wait until you’ll listen.’
‘Uh, okay.’ She picked up a forkful of omelet and paused.
Dan watched her. He knew she was only attempting this to appease him. She’d never admit that. The fork poked and prodded everything on the plate. She finally settled on taking a big drink of orange juice. When she set it down, he refilled it. She looked up at him and then back down at the still full plate. She would never finish the whole thing. He reached out a hand, took an orange slice, and made quick work of it. She settled into her seat. ‘Well, maybe, I can get him to eat half of this.’
She put a forkful of omelet into her mouth. ‘This is great,’ she said as she chewed. ‘I didn’t know I had bell peppers.’
‘You didn’t,’ he smirked as he took a bite out of a sausage patty.
‘So, how much do I owe you for the shopping?’
He considered the question and said, ‘Let’s not think about that. Besides, you’re not the only one eating here.’
He watched her eat for a bit, then put a hand to her shoulder. ‘See, that wasn’t so hard. You don’t have to fight me. Later, I’ll download the lecture notes for you, and I’ll try to help you.’
‘No, I think I’m done.’ She pushed the plate away and got up. The thought of spending the day with him was more than she thought she deserved.
‘Are you sure? You barely ate anything. I can make you something lighter…’
‘That’s okay. I think I’ll go back to bed, now.’ ‘He’s done his good deed. Now, he can go.’
‘I’ll be waiting for you when you wake up, then.’
‘What?’ ‘That’s not necessary,’ she smiled at him in an effort to make him think she was all better.
He raised up slowly and stretched his legs. ‘No, it’s not, but you’d sleep the day through if I left, wouldn’t you?’
Daniel wasn’t going to give her an out. He knew they were both nervous about each other, but she needed someone to listen. He watched her walk into the living room. She searched around the couch, picked up the remote and turned on the television.
‘Hey,’ he caught her attention before she could find a good channel to hide in. ‘Tell me what you need.’
Joanne let him stand there. She sat down, pulled her legs under herself, and hid in the concentration on a useless commercial. Dan positioned himself on the floor next to her. They sat that way for nearly three hours. He waited and watched her response to the shows, and she tried to be cheerful, so that he would let her go back to sleep.
Jo needed to go to the bathroom, but she didn’t want to change the dynamic. He wasn’t judging. It was a major step up from what Jesse had done nearly every waking moment for the past three years. The natural light from outside waned as she made the decision to just go pee. He moved slightly to let her pass, but kept his eyes on the TV. She found herself trying to be quiet as she relieved the pressure on her bladder.
‘What does he care if I make noise when I pee? I am really nuts.’ She let the rest of her urine go at its own speed, flushed the toilet, washed her hands and went back out to sit with him. ‘Is it with someone, if one of you is on the floor?’ She stood next to him for a second then lay across the couch so that their heads were nearly together. He didn’t turn to look at her. With the TV droning and the mutual silence, her thoughts started to wander. ‘What if I didn’t know about Candy. Would he be here right now? Would we have had sex by now? What kind of noise would he make with me? He doesn’t really make any extra noises. Would he still smell this good to me…’
Dan shivered as the fingers trailed slowly across his scalp. He turned to see her pull the hand back in and roll away in her sleep. ‘She probably doesn’t know she did that.’ He leaned in close to her ear and spoke to her, ‘Angel.’
‘Hmm?’
‘I never was into sleep, so I wallowed in the pain. It actually made me feel better to be tired or angry. But, that’s not who you are,’ she heard very close to her ear. She must have fallen asleep, because the room was almost black. She barely made him out in the gloom.
‘Am I dreaming this? No, he’s still here. You’re awake.’ ‘It isn’t?’
‘You’re more of the ‘I’ll go to bed and wake up to a different day’ type. The problem with that is you can’t sleep forever. You have to get up and face that day.’
He looked over to her now open eyes and moved so that she could feel his breath on her lips. ‘You did the same thing with me, didn’t you? Still do. ‘ He came close to her lips as he spoke, ‘It’s not part of the package deal.’ She pressed her eyes shut and tried to figure out what to say.
‘Uh, package deal?’ She moved off and tried to focus on the TV.
‘Look at me.’
She didn’t want to, but his words were so firm. He’d tilted his head so that their eyes were together. ‘What’s so wrong with looking me in the eye? You close your eyes and open them again because you don’t want to see me looking at you?’
He was just too close. She closed her eyes again and felt him cover her lips with his. His warm lips coaxed her lips open, then he moved away.
‘Tell me,’ he watched her eyes open. ‘The next time you shut me out, I’m gonna call you on it.’
‘Should I just tell him my chest hurts every time he looks at me? It shouldn’t, but it does. How can I feel like this when he used me?’ ‘You…’ ‘No lie in the world will get you out of this. Bad liar, remember? Be straight with him.’ ‘I don’t like how you look at me. It’s like… You want too much, okay?’ ‘And you just kissed me! What the hell was that?’
‘I want the entire package, Jo. All of it. Not just the little bit of wrapping paper you set aside for other people. I want you to see that every time I look at you. That’s what I’ve wanted all along.’
He rested his arm on the couch in front of her and put his hand to her ear. He returned his lips to hers and cooed, ‘How about we try to talk like we used to?’
‘Like we used to,’ ran through her head a few times. ‘Like before I found out about Candy. Candy. She probably thinks you’re studying somewhere while you’re kissing me.’ She raised up to break the kiss and said, ‘I can’t do that.’
‘You can. You can sit there and talk to me, because I’m here to listen.’
‘I think I should be talking to Gary, right now. I mean, he’s … He and I…’ She still wasn’t sure what they were to each other, but she knew that she had to make Daniel back off. Jerry had to have said terrible things about her. He could have said anything. She didn’t want to have to talk at all.
‘Oh, okay.’ Jo watched his jaw firm up. ‘So, you told him what happened at the shop?’
‘No,’ she pulled her legs to her chest. ‘I don’t know if I will. Maybe, when he gets back, we’ll talk.’
He scanned the room to gather his thoughts. He wanted to swear or throw something, but that wouldn’t serve any purpose. When he was ready, he turned back, and quietly said, ‘I’m here. I know the whole story. You can talk to me, now.’
He watched her turn to the TV. ‘There’s nothing to tell.’
He reached over with a long arm and shut off the TV. ‘There’s a lot to tell.’
‘I won’t say what you want to hear.’ Jo rested her chin on her knees.
‘How do you know what I want to hear?’ He caught her gaze as he got off of the floor. His legs were cramping up from the curve they had to do to fit between the couch and the TV stand.
She scoffed, ‘You want me to tell you what happened. Probably want me to cry, don’t you? I won’t do that. You won’t get that out of me. It’s off limits to you.’ ‘I can’t do that. You’re disappointed enough, for now.’ Jo wanted to detach herself from his ob
vious concern. She was fine with it, really. Three counselors and numerous group sessions said so. ‘So, I’m over it. Especially since I got to tell him off.’
‘Can we please stop playing the I hate Dan game and just tell me…?’ He closed in on her and sat with his thigh touching her feet.
‘There’s no game, and I don’t hate you. That doesn’t mean I’ll say anything. Move back,’ she said as her hand went to his arm. He put his fingers over hers. ‘Stop touching me. I can’t have it.’ It was as though Dan had forgotten he didn’t want her. His closeness only made it hard to think.
‘No. Are you done?’
She looked away from him. ‘I wish I was done with you.’
‘I know what happened, because he told me, okay? Back then, he told me. I didn’t understand. I do, now. But, I need to hear it from you.’
Jo eyed him with a frown as he leaned close to her.
‘I’m the same person that held you and told it would be okay. I need this to be out in the open. It’s me you’re talking to, Joanne… ‘
‘Out in the open?’ ‘I know exactly who I’m talking to,’ her voice rose but she pulled it back to the controlled crisp tone she used for school. ‘I’m talking to the man that said such great stuff to me. The last time I listened to him, I got burned big time. Why would I say shit to him?’
Dan sighed and moved back to the other end of the couch, ‘Because.’ She was on the offensive, now. He braced himself for the onslaught, but smiled anyway. ‘I loved the way she scrunched up her nose when she said that. She really can’t swear with out screwing up her face.’ She’d had time to fume for over a month. He knew he deserved every single sexy little pointed finger and every word from those frowning lips.
‘Because, why? All you had to do was be straight with me. I thought there was something seriously wrong with you, because of the way you were acting. I thought, you were some stalker, or something. Now, I know it was all some sort of plan. You had to meet some sort of timetable you had in your head. I guess, I foiled that plan by not being some hoochy like maybe Jerry said I was. Once you figured I wouldn’t do you, why did you bother to keep after me? You should have just gone Back to Candy where you belong. You took her side so many times. You here right now is wrong. You should just live with your choice. Stop making this hard for me. Nobody asked you to come over here. You have this thing for Candy, great! That means I shouldn’t have to deal with you in my face when I’m trying to be alone. You have no right to know anything about me. You’re not supposed to make me feel better any more. We’re not together. We never will be. Don’t confuse things.’
He scratched the back of his head. ‘I’m not confusing things. You’re the one jumping to conclusions…’
‘Who were you with at the concert? It sure as hell wasn’t me. Who’s breasts were pressed up against your head like a helmet? Who…’
He broke her chain of thought. ‘Who were you with at the concert? Why do you hang on to Gary like you do?’
‘I don’t hang onto Gary. I’ve gone out with him a few times. He takes me places. You know? Places out in the open where everyone can see who he’s with.’
‘Ow!’ He mumbled, ‘We’ve gone somewhere.’
‘Yeah, to the shop where you’re Dad pretty much insulted me every chance he got. He wants you with Candy, too.’
‘He doesn’t matter. He’ll get used to it. I told you, before. I don’t want to date you…’
‘That’s right. You don’t want to date me. You want to fuck me.’
He pulled in a deep breath. ‘Jo…’ He needed time to think, and this was definitely not the time for a pause. She’d used the word as a blade across his gut.
‘Let’s be real, here. That’s all this is. You didn’t have to put in that much work. You could have probably gotten some a while back. You could have taken it. I don’t fight. Better yet,’ she got up and growled, ‘you could have had Jesse and Candy on the same night. You know, I’m glad I wasn’t what you wanted, anyway. Well, I don’t plan on doing you any time soon, so you’ll have to get your jollies somewhere else.’ She stormed out of the room. She’d wanted to make him feel as bad as she felt, but it didn’t make her feel any better. Her legs carried her into the kitchen instead of to her room. She’d trapped herself with one way out. ‘Oh, no.’ She glanced to her right and saw him looking at her from the couch. She ducked her head as she turned and put her hands on the edge of the sink.
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