Adam’s Rib Ch. 01 free porn video

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Note: Ahoovah is the Hebrew word for beloved.

*

Chaya shifted again on the pew wishing that the Rabbi would hurry up. Normally she had no problem sitting through Shabbat service, but tonight she felt restless and edgy, as if something was about to happen, and she found it hard to sit through the meandering thought train of his reflection on the Torah portion. She lifted her eyes heavenward and begged, please can we make it through the rest of this sermon without another awful pun? She knew it wasn’t likely. The Rabbi was an encyclopedia of bad puns and he never failed to drag out as many as he could get away with into the service. She groaned as he launched into another bad joke that the congregation had heard about twenty times in the last year. Chaya liked the Rabbi, when she’d moved to the city, she’d found that most of the synagogues were far more stuffy than the one she was used to, and he’d made her feel welcome at schul despite her bright pink hair and tendency to forget to change out of jeans into a skirt for services. He was a nice, well-meaning guy, if somewhat of a schmuck. She grinned as the Rabbi’s youngest son snuck up onto the bima for his, surely staged by someone in the crowd, come on and wind it up dad routine and the service progressed.

‘Tonight, I want to welcome the newest member of our congregation, a fine upstanding member of our community and the newest edition to Channel 9’s news team, Adam Kohn.’

Slightly embarrassed by the singling out, Adam half stood and gave a sheepish wave at the crowd of worshippers staring towards him. He felt a pair of eyes boring into him more than the others and turned to see an attractive girl, well woman he guessed since she looked about his age if he was right, with bright pink hair staring at him open mouthed. He wasn’t sure what that meant, but he hoped it was good as despite the most un-adult selection of hair colour, she was quite pretty and somehow the pink seemed to suit her. Noticing that he’d caught her staring she quickly averted her gaze and he used her inattention to take in her body. She had a small heart shaped mouth, the sort that hadn’t really gotten it’s due since the days of Clara Bow, that sat above a strong angular chin, dark rectangular glasses, a small frame that was slender but quite curvy he could tell from the outline of her breasts in her grey blouse, and muscular, shapely legs that extended from her knee length black skirt with the feminine sheer overlay. He decided that he definitely approved of her staring at him, and he would be more than happy to oblige her if she wanted to stare at any more of him.

Chaya’s jaw dropped open in shock as the Rabbi called the name of their new member and the man stood embarrassed and waved. ‘It can’t be,’ she whispered aloud causing the woman next to her to look over. Chaya smiled at her quickly. There’s no way, I mean what are the odds? There is no way that that is the same Adam Kohn, she thought to herself, but as she stared at him she knew it was. When he turned and caught her staring and looked back into her eyes, she was certain and quickly turned away. Somehow, for some bizarre twist of what had to be bad luck, Adam Kohn, her high school nemesis, had not only managed to move to the same city as she lived, some 1300 miles from the place they grew up, but was now the newest member of her synagogue. She groaned inwardly as she saw the embarrassing months of well-meaning yentas and even worse the always well-meaning, ever clueless Rabbi Benjamin trying to marry the two of them off to each other. That is if he’s single. She thought, well, no, he must be single, he’s here alone, and Rabbi B didn’t mention a family or wife. Damn it why am I even wondering if he’s married, it’s not like I’m interested. She snuck a glance back at him, he’s certainly changed for the better, she thought, taking in the new broadness of his shoulders, where his skinny frame had been filled in by adult muscle and the much smoother contours of his face where they had finally grown in around his prominent nose. The deep laugh lines remained around his mouth, giving the impression that he was always about to break into a grin remained as she’d remembered them and his thick black hair sat in short curls on his head in the way that had always made her want to run her hand through them to smooth them despite her dislike of the boy she had known.

‘Ah, Chaya, come over here,’ Rabbi Benjamin motioned to Chaya, who was munching on a plate of carrots and celery in the Oneg hall. She never seemed to find time to eat on Fridays and so it had become a bad habit to eat a dinner of veggie platters and cheese at the Oneg after services, though right now it made her feel like a pig to have so much food on her plate while most people only had a few cookies and maybe a piece of cheese. Reluctantly she walked over to where the Rabbi was standing with Adam. ‘Adam, I’d like you to meet Chaya, she’s also one of our newest members of Temple, she’s an excellent writer.’ He said and immediately was gone, leaving his matchmaking to flourish.

‘Really, what do you write?’ Adam asked turning his attention to the flustered Chaya.

‘Film reviews mostly, and a few screenplays that haven’t been purchased.’

‘Oh, I don’t suppose I’ve read anything of yours then.’ He said, immediately kicking himself for the stupidity of the statement. Real smooth Adam, he told himself, way to charm her.

Chaya stared at him, did he actually not recognize her? Or was he just being dismissive. ‘Oh, I rather think you’ve read a lot of it,’ she said with a little more of an edge than she meant.

‘Really? Do you write a national column? Ebert’s new partner?’

‘You really don’t recognize me?’ she asked.

‘Should I? I’m sorry that was rude. No, I don’t think I know you.’

Chaya laughed, it was a deep throaty laugh and Adam was immediately attracted to it.

‘Ok, I give, where do I know you from?’

‘Oh, no, I’m not telling if you don’t know.’

‘Oh come on, give me a hint at least.’

‘Nope. Not a chance.’ She said suddenly mischievous now that she felt certain he didn’t remember her and walked away to sit at a table and eat.

Adam racked his brain, there was something slightly familiar about her nagging at him, now that she mentioned that they were previously acquainted, but he had no clue where or when that could have been. He followed her to the table and sat across from her. ‘Come on, you can’t just tell a person that you know each other previously and not let them in on who you are.’

‘You should remember your acquaintances then.’ She said, raising an eyebrow. ‘Oh all right, you can have 20 questions, yes or no questions and I will answer them truthfully, and if you guess who I am correctly I’ll let you know, but that’s as much as you get.’

Chaya felt fairly confident he wouldn’t be able to figure out who she was in only 20 questions if he didn’t know by now where he knew her from or who she was, especially since she didn’t even go by the same name now, she’d always gone by her initials EB, short for the hated Evelyn Brianna, while now she preferred to go by her Hebrew name Chaya. She kind of liked having the upper hand on Adam, she always had. They’d been in a good number of the same honours classes throughout high school, but their abject dislike of each other hadn’t blossomed until their senior year when they both worked on the school newspaper. He was rude and pompous and frequently made her friend Emma cry because he was a chauvinist who thought that girls couldn’t write sports stories. She’d always been picked on growing up and had developed a wickedly smart mouth and the feeling that she had to defend her friends against the verbal attacks of others, and so she spent the majority of the year attacking Adam with stinging and witty barbs whenever he opened his mouth. She smiled even now, remembering her coup de tas, in the school variety show where during an improv skit in the student matinee sh
e’d done a scathing impression of him even invoking his name lest anyone not know exactly who she was parodying. It had been wildly popular and his inability to respond to any of her barbs with anything other than, ‘bitch’ had increased tenfold after the incident.

Unlike Chaya, Adam couldn’t bring up any memories of specific events or people from high school. It just seemed like a waste of time to him. It wasn’t like high school was some rollicking great time to him, it was primarily an exercise in getting into a good university so that he could be a success when he was older. Hell, he couldn’t remember a single girl that he’d fantasized about in high school. No, he thought immediately, that was wrong, there was one girl, EB. Fucking EB Johnson, she’d gone by damn initials like a boy. In fact, to everyone else in the school, she might as well have been a boy, if it weren’t for the decidedly un-boyish set of tits she hid under baggy shirts and jeans. EB hung out with mostly guys, played sports, swore constantly, never gave any indication that she was interested in anyone male or female sexually and was quick witted and even quicker mouthed. It was her mouth that had propelled her into the position of being a vague memory of angry lust in Adam’s all but high school free memory bank ten years after graduation.

Their senior year Adam was the sports editor for their school paper and EB an entertainment editor so they were forced to work in the cramped journalism lab on a daily basis. Adam had been something of a smug jerk in high school, hiding his social insecurities behind an ego and sense of superiority in the things he was good in. Unfortunately for him, EB hid hers behind an incredibly tart tongue and Adam made the mistake of saying something or other to his assistant editor, Emma, which made her cry. Emma was friends with EB and Emma’s over-sensitive tears had signed some kind of war declaration against him in EB’s view of things. After that, almost every comment or word he said in the paper post-mortems or class had been an open opportunity for her to lob sarcastic barbs in his direction, she’d even gone so far as to mock him by name in front of the entire school. Worse yet for him was that despite the fact that he thought he was a pretty quick-witted guy, in her presence he seemed completely unable to muster up any comeback other than, ‘bitch’ to respond to her.

In all honesty his lack of witty retorts more than likely had less to do with a lack of quick thinking on his part and more to do with the fact that every time her smart mouth insulted him he had an almost uncontrollable urge to slam the door to the workroom, shove her up against it and shut her mouth by filling it with his tongue. From September until May almost every night his masturbatory fantasy involved her naked body writhing beneath his, her insults changed into lust driven cries of his name as he conquered her. His cock jumped in his pants even now when he thought about those fantasies. They always began in an ordinary everyday situation with her only at the point where he normally was so angry he just opened and closed his mouth like a fish and stormed out of the room, he would take control….

Adam stood at the counter in the narrow Herald workroom, waxing the last of the stories for the front page layout of the sports section. It was late and everyone else had finished work on their sections and gone home for the night, or so he thought. Out in the hallway he heard a female voice swearing, ‘No, I can’t, I have to do the fucking entertainment layouts now. Jack fucking knows I have both practice and rehearsal this month, I don’t know why he can’t assign the damn pages to Jr staff or something, fuck.’ Adam rolled his eyes knowing that the voice and the predominance of the word fuck could only belong to one person, EB Johnson, the nemesis of his 18 year-old life. EB stormed into the workroom, and tossed her book bag next to the row of Macs. Adam stared as she pulled her sweatshirt over her head in the hot room. The motion caused her over-sized t shirt to rise up with the sweatshirt revealing the smooth pale skin of her abdomen as it pinched in from her wide hips to a narrow waist and over the bones of her ribs before she noticed and yanked it down. Tossing the shirt on top of her bag, she noticed Adam’s stare and snapped, ‘What the fuck are you looking at?’

He wished he could think of something cutting to answer her, but the unexpected glance of her skin had distracted him and he turned back to his layout work. They worked in uncomfortable silence for a short time as EB deftly busted out her pages. He could admire her for that, her layouts were always well-proofed and smooth, but then she wrote most of the content herself because the other members of her staff were mainly taking the class for an easy grade and didn’t bother to do more than the shortest most half assed articles, and EB was almost as much of a perfectionist as he was.

EB looked at one of his finished pages and snorted. ‘What?’ He’d asked, knowing a barrage of taunts was headed his way.

‘You’re actually writing your column about that?’

‘Yes, as a matter of fact I am.’

‘Jumping right in with the scared little boys I see.’

‘It has nothing to do with being scared, women just don’t belong on men’s teams’

‘Whatever, men like you are just afraid that if they let women compete they’ll get embarrassed when they get their asses handed to them.’

‘Men like me?’

‘Backwards Neanderthals afraid of women because they’re insecure in their masculinity-‘

‘You’re a bitch.’

‘You keep saying that, what’s the matter can’t read well enough to consult a thesaurus to get a new insult?’

‘If women like you weren’t so afraid of femininity they have to transform yourself into little boys maybe you’d get dates and stop trying to run men out of everything to prove something.’

‘Oh, right, because all women need is a date with a man to make them complete. They can’t aspire to be something more than some arm candy.’

Adam leapt for the one taunt he knew would infuriate her, ‘I forgot, you’re all such dykes-‘

That did it, EB lost her composure and slapped Adam across the face. It was not a soft slap either. She stared at the spot on his cheek where angry red ghosts of her fingers were rising from his pale skin and stubble. She was so transfixed by it and her anger that she didn’t notice the way his eyes gleamed in anger and passion or the movement of his hand until he grabbed her wrist and shoulder and propelled her back into the door of the workroom slamming it closed.

‘What the fuck do you think you’re doing?’ she snapped as he stepped into her, her eyes glittering in anger back into his.

‘Shut up,’ he snarled before he lowered his head into hers and did it himself with his lips. EB had been about to snap at him as his lips closed in on hers. At the contact her brown eyes opened wide and her free arm rose to his shoulder to push him off her, but suddenly she didn’t seem to have the strength to move him. Adam began to move his lips hungrily over hers, nibbling at her lower lip and running his tongue teasingly along it, surprised by the electricity that arced from her lips into his nerve receptors. His free hand dropped to the hem of her shirt and slipped up under it running along the skin of her waist and ribcage to find her left breast in its bra cup. She opened her mouth slightly in shock as his warm firm fingers slid into her bra and pulled her large breast free from its cup and began to stroke the soft sensitive skin. He took advantage of the moment to slide his tongue into her mouth. He smiled as she moaned slightly when he pinched her nipple, feeling it harden immediately as he rolled the nub between his fingers, and deepened their kiss.

EB couldn’t figure out what was going on, all she knew was that all of a sudden she was in Adam’s arms and he was kissing her, not just kissing her, but kissing her as though he meant to devour her a
nd his hands on her body were making her weak in the knees. She fought to keep her body stiff and unresponsive under him, vowing that she would not kiss him back and give him the satisfaction of getting her to forget her dislike for him. She fought with his hands as he began pulling her t shirt up over her head, but this was his fantasy and the probability that in real life she would merely have slugged him hard in the face was not going to daunt him now. Shirt discarded, he took in the tantalizing planes of her body that always lay hidden under her loose clothing. The narrow shoulders, pale, translucent skin and small waist making her large breasts look even more surprisingly large, one nestled in the cup of her plain bra, the other loose as he had left it, the large pinkish brown nipple still hard an pointing out at him.

EB knew she should make her break now as he stared at her, his body not pinning her to the door quite so much. She should slug him and run, but she was transfixed by the gleam of desire in his dark eyes and she was too inexperienced with the heady mixture of anger and lust. Adam was surprised that she didn’t bolt then and acting quickly, before she came to her senses, closed back in on her, once again barraging her soft lips with hungry kisses and running his hands over her arms and sides. He could feel slight tremors race along her body and some of the rigidity of her stance slip as his tongue teased hers trying to coax her to return the kiss, her eyes squeezed closed as she battled with herself to keep from responding.

Adam groaned grazing her lower lip with his teeth as his mouth left hers, only to seek out the soft skin of her jaw. He traced along it to her earlobe, where he nibbled causing a shudder to course through her and he smiled. ‘You don’t have to be so stubborn, I can tell you want me,’ he whispered hotly into her ear.

‘Fuck you,’ EB spat at him, her voice huskier with desire than she would have liked.

‘Mmm, that could be arranged ahoovah.’

‘Do you even know what that means?’ she tried as almost a last ditch effort to distract his libido. Adam merely raised his eyebrow and moved down from her ear leaving a trail of kisses and soft bites down the column of her throat as he made his way towards her breasts. EB’s mind raced around his choice of a Hebrew word what was going on here? What did he mean by using it? It was then that Adam reached her breast and even her mind shut down. He heard the sharp intake of air as his tongue flicked across her erect nipple and as he sucked it into his hot, wet mouth he felt the slackening in her body that signified her giving in to her desire. She moaned and her hands came up to his head and buried in his black curls as he teased her heavy breast with his mouth and teeth, his hands reaching around her back to unhook her bra freeing her other breast to his assault.

EB, lost in the haze of sensations Adam’s mouth was introducing her to, began tugging at Adam’s shirt pulling it over his head and freeing the warm expanse of skin on his back that she suddenly long to feel. She mewled slightly as he pulled away from her breasts and began to kiss her again in earnest, the sensation of his bare chest against hers sending lightning bolts from her nipples straight to her quickly moistening sex. Adam moaned, his cock straining even more fully against his pants as EB hungrily kissed him back, her tongue mating with his, her fingers curling into his back as she pulled him closer. He slid his hands between their bodies, undoing the button and zipper on the front of her jeans, and reaching down into her panties past the tickle of her pubic hair and to the wet heat of her pussy. He was surprised at how wet he found her already and he stroked her moist folds and slid a finger into her tight pussy as she gasped into his mouth. When his thumb found her sensitive clit her knees nearly buckled and he smiled wickedly as he began circling the engorged flesh while sliding her slowly down the door to the ground.

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Hai mera naam Hemanshu hai main CHHATTISGARH Ke Durg sehar mein rahta hoon aaj main aap ko apni life ki sabse badi sex ki ghatna bata raha hoon baat tab ki hai jab mai 12th me padh raha tha mere class mein ek ladki thi jisse main bahut pyaar karta tha uska naam seema tha lekin wo mujhe ignore karti thi mujhe maloom tha ki uski life mein koi nahin tha ek din maine use school se jaate waqt rok kar bola ki main use pyaar karta hoon usne mujhe dhakka mara aur waha se bhaag gai tab main eek plan...

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Happy birthday to Sribardhini

It was her eighteenth birthday, the party had just ended and the floor was littered with wrappings, ribbons and envelopes. She was laying her clothes out on the sofa, deciding what to try on first as her uncle wandered about the room picking up the trash on the floor. Her mood was more than giddy, it was headed towards ecstatic. He smiled as he watched her arranging her gifts. Seeing her this happy made him believe he was the luckiest man alive. He watched as she snatched an outfit off the sofa...

Incest
4 years ago
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Sibling Ribaldry

Chapter 1 It's summer and I'd had a hiking and camping trip planned for several months before school let out but it was all in the toilet now because my fucking former girlfriend dumped me like the bitch she is. Does that sound like I'm not taking it too well? Well, I'm fucking not. Life is shit right now as I try to see my way ahead to what my life might be like when I enter my senior year next year and have to see the dirty bitch again. Not that I'm holding this all inside,...

3 years ago
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Turmoil and Tribulation

Edited by Barney R. Messed with by me. I didn’t know there was bad trouble coming until it was almost too late for my continued health. Author’s note: All references to police, investigator, medical, and banking actions are figments of my imagination. I am Gregory (Greg) Arnold Rasmussen, 38, and father of a 10-year-old daughter Christina (Tina) Marie. I was married to her mother. I am not married anymore. I come from old and a lot of money, I am a poster child for a ‘trust fund...

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Eric Olafson Midshipman Vol 4Part 43 INTERLUDE PLURIBUS

Pluribus was even more crowded and busier during Union week than usual. Egill had returned from Nilfeheim only a few days ago. He stood nor far from the Northern door and entrance into the Sphere of the Assembly, it was entrance he always used. From there it was only a short elevator ride to the Alcove of Planet Nilfeheim. The assembly sphere was a complete ball on the insie and only from the outside it appeared like a huge dome, meeting the ground at its equator. The outside area all around...

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Tales From a Far CountryChapter 5 A Question of Attribution

THE VOICE They take me from my cell. When I was at IWB, I was embarrassed to call the room, "my cell". There's no embarrassment now because this is not playing. I really am a prisoner. We enter another similar room. It's just next to mine in a long corridor; just another featureless white square cell; empty, except for a mat on the floor. The guard motions me to kneel on the mat. There's no point in resisting, so I kneel. He leaves. Silence. Then there is the voice: Soft;...

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The Dragons Of ArborChapter 16 Trails and Tribulation

Back in Seacroft again. Dad had given us our lift and River and I gave him our account of why we were there and what had led up to it. "Slavers! You should have let me know sooner." In the amount of time it took to say those words, he had kicked it into full High Wizard mode. The news that we were tracking potential slavers was all it took to make that happen, both at the High Wizard and McKesson level. He asked in my mind. I did of course. Everything I...

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Dickgirls of Faeruhn 06 Kei and Yuri MaroonedWith BenefitsChapter 4 In Which We Learn the Details of Dusk Rose Jasmine and Peonys Terrib

When Yuri ran off to grab a quick bath in the river before returning to the city, a milky white skinned blonde hermaphrodite darted out from the underbrush. “I still have time!” Ginger shouted gleefully as she forced the Golden’s legs wider. “She’s still susceptible to breeding for a few more minutes!” It was embarrassing to claim an injured Golden, but Ginger didn’t want to miss out on her very first rutting season! Too many Snowflakes ended up being host to a clone on their first attempt....

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TributeMe

Reddit TributeMe, aka r/TributeMe! Do you find it hot when lovely amateur girls asked to be your fap material? Well, the Tribute Me subreddit is basically about that. Here you will get to see lots of gorgeous women who can’t wait for you to make a tribute to their naughty image or video… hence the name of the subreddit. Now, this is a bit broader than what I have just said, so let me get into it as we go on.Let’s start with Reddit; this is a free website anyone can visit. You can explore the...

Reddit NSFW List
1 year ago
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Caribbeancom

JAV fans know the name Caribbeancom, or at least the real ones do. The company has been putting out Japanese dirty movies for decades now, building a name for themselves around the world with their sexy Asian sluts and filthy encounters. I first heard about the brand mentioned by weeaboos years ago, and of course, now I’ve had a lot more experience with their flicks ever since I started reviewing Japanese Adult Video. They’re one of the biggest names in Japanese porn, and don’t you want to know...

Premium Asian Porn Sites
1 year ago
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SubscribeStar

Subscribe Star has been around for a couple of years now, but you’ll be forgiven if you only heard about it recently. I don’t say that to talk shit about the website; it’s just that the platform has been overshadowed by similar websites (competitors) like Patreon and OnlyFans. The big OF managed to corner the market for DIY porn subscriptions and sexy webcam starlets, marking one of the most dramatic shifts in the online porn landscape that I’ve ever seen. SubscribeStar gets a few million...

Premium Hentai Sites
3 years ago
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Lost Tribe

Since getting a divorce several months back, I have had newfound freedom to do things I had always wanted to do but was unable to due to my marital commitments. One of the things I had started doing was taking flying lessons, which I thoroughly enjoy and the other thing I always wanted to do was to take a truly exotic vacation. I had been planning this vacation for some time. I have a friend named Pete who has family in South America. Our plan was to fly down to South America and stay...

2 years ago
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Lost Tribe

As I sat at my desk I was literally counting down the hours. It was only two more hours till the end of the day and the start of my vacation. A well-deserved vacation I might add. I had been working long hours for months now without a day off in my new job. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the work. It was very gratifying and the boss appreciated my efforts. I just needed a vacation and bad. Since getting a divorce several months back, I have had newfound freedom to do things I had always wanted...

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1 year ago
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Cruising the Caribbean

Chapter One -----I was 34 at the time and my husband is one year older. We had booked a seven day cruise that island hopped around the Caribbean. We were to visit five different islands during the week long trip. We were looking forward to getting away from the snow and cold and enjoy the sunny warm weather of the Caribbean.First, I must tell you a little about my husband and myself. If you have read any of my previous stories, you know that we have a very open relationship when it comes to...

3 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 12 Press Room

I THOUGHT THE MORNING WENT WELL ENOUGH. No one got anything they wanted. Like a stubborn two-year-old, Jack rejected every command from the colonel with a petulant, “No!” When I saw the sense in a directive, I’d take Jack aside and ask him kindly to do whatever it was and Jack would do it. The colonel’s latest demand was for Jack to have another Bloody Mary. Jack meekly complied. At only a few minutes before we had to leave for the motorcade, the MIB finally showed up. There was a...

3 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 13 Swimming in Bureaucracy

I TOOK MY TIME getting ready for the day. The four of us resident in the suite played cards and drank martinis until midnight. I couldn’t believe Ms. Smith had been up at eight to answer the door. She’d drunk almost enough to act human. And I knew Jack would still be asleep. Since I suddenly had an administrative assistant, I decided to dress professionally. Jack returned my suit last night, so I pulled it on and knotted the tie. I guess I wouldn’t look entirely out of place in DC. The...

1 year ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 14 Protestation

“MMM. COFFEE. I actually missed you this weekend, Baines. Where were you yesterday?” I turned over in bed and reached for the mug of coffee held by my administrative assistant. “Yesterday? Monday was Veterans Day. No government offices are open on Veterans Day. Why would I come to work on Veterans Day? No one is even in town.” Mattie blinked, apparently unable to believe the ignorance of her boss. “Ah. Of course. Only the military works on Veterans Day. Never get a day off, do they?” I...

3 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 15 Conjugal Visits

“MMM. COFFEE. You’re a godsend, Ms. Baines,” I said as I rolled to accept my morning libation. “Who?” demanded Elizabeth, standing beside the bed and looking as if she was ready to pour the coffee over my head. “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!” I screamed, scuttling to the far side of the bed. “Darling! When did you get here?” “Apparently, not soon enough. Who is this hussy you were expecting to bring you coffee in bed?” she yelled. “It’s not what you think!” I called back. That sounded...

4 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 16 Whatrsquos Another Smith

“HERE’S YOUR COFFEE, MR. SMITH. It’s time to get up and do office things. You know ... Ack! There’s a woman in your bed!” Mattie screamed. “Thank you for the coffee, Ms. Baines. Could you bring a cup for Mr. Smith, too? Oh, I’m Dr. Mrs. Smith.” Elizabeth took the cup from Mattie and offered her hand to shake. Mattie took it uncertainly. “Isn’t everyone?” she mumbled and fled from the room. “So?” Elizabeth asked, poking Ramsey in the ribs. “There are other Mrs. Smiths?” “No, dear. She was...

4 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 17 Guess Whorsquos Coming for Dinner

“HELLO. I’M REBA SMITH. I’ve been sent by the alphabet soup department to collect a baby from Mr. Adams,” the redhead at the door said. Ramsey looked at her skeptically. Another Smith sent to collect Jack’s... Wait a minute. “It’s not right to make someone work on Thanksgiving,” I said. “Come in and join us for dinner. We’re just having drinks before we go downstairs for the meal.” “Oh yes, thank you.” Reba pranced into the room like she owned it, went directly to Jack and kissed him. He...

2 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 18 If Not Me Then

“I THOUGHT YOU CUFFED HER to the chair!” Smith yelled at Smith. “We weren’t really restraining her,” Ms. Smith yelled back. “I tossed the other end of the cuffs around the chair leg but under the rung. It was just a reminder to behave.” “That is so stupid!” “She still has one end of the cuffs around her leg and is dragging the other.” “But did she take the President’s daughter with her?” Smythe demanded, shaking off his drunk and acting like a commander. “And did she go willingly or was...

3 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 19 Flash

“HE’S OUT OF THE WOODS,” the doctor said. Hamilton, I think his name was. My injury was minor. Half a dozen stitches and a bandage on my arm. I couldn’t even reasonably call in sick to work. Not that I had a job. “What was the damage?” I asked. Dr. Hamilton frowned. “I guess you are officially his guardian, so I’ll tell you.” He looked around to make sure no one was nearby and lowered his voice. “She managed to slice off one of his testicles. The other has a small cut. There was a lot of...

1 year ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 20 As Yet Undisclosed Location

I FILED A STORY Tuesday morning to follow up on the attack on Jack Adams. I listed Jack as “Recovering at an undisclosed location.” The speed of our relocation left the rest of the press in the dust. Of course, it wouldn’t take many more visits by Colonel Smythe, Kitty Muffley, Lieutenant Smith, or the Smith MIBs for people to surmise that Jack was living with the Smiths in Orlando. “Just say Jack is in a secure location which is only available on a need to know basis. He is being attended...

2 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 21 Happy Holidays

WITH JACK OUT OF WASHINGTON, life seemed to go back to normal. The stock market recovered. The protests died down. The size of SORDID, now that it had no ‘specimen’ to manage, doubled. “With everyone going about life as if it was going to go on forever, you’d think people must be having babies again. Any word on that, Mattie?” “A report from Russia claims they have found a virile man who lived in a remote area of Siberia. There has been no confirmation and the whereabouts of the man are...

4 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 22 Die Hard with a Vengeance

THE COLONEL’S NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY drew more people to our house than the Christmas party had. I constantly expected protesters to show up in front of the house because so many people knew Jack, Evelyn, and Lily were in residence there. But while it was common knowledge in the neighborhood, it seemed to be a tacit secret elsewhere. By the end of the party, there was another stack of gifts for Lily under the Christmas tree. It was like the entire community was bringing gifts to the manger...

4 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 23 Almost Normal

THE LEAST UPSET PERSON in the house was Lily. Put a nipple in her mouth and she was happy. Evelyn was surprisingly calm, sitting in a corner of the living room with Lily. When the SORDID Chief of Staff and his ... staff left, there were still eleven people left in the house. Mattie emerged from the basement office and went to the bar where she began mixing Bloody Marys. Sheila went to help her. “Ugh! Not for me,” Elizabeth said. “I think I caught a bug from my students. Not even a month back...

2 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 24 Starting Over

IT WASN’T MY FINEST HOUR. I’d wanted a child ever since we got married and Elizabeth kept rejecting the idea with a “Not Yet.” Then when I couldn’t have children, she’d become insatiable and determined to have a child. In the worst way. “So, that’s why you wanted Evelyn and Jack to live here under our protection,” I sighed. “So you could seduce Jack and have his baby. How are you going to explain that to Evelyn? She trusted you.” “You horrid animal!” Elizabeth snapped, going from sweet to...

2 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 2 Breaking News

“RELAX, PEOPLE!” President says, “We’re not at war.” President Malkin Muffley came on the air early this morning to reassure the American people after the spectacular show of outer space fireworks that the display was neither a hostile act nor an end sign of the world nor an alien invasion. “I’ve had a lot of calls ... a huge number of calls from important people ... very important people ... some of the most important people in the world ... who called me begging me not to push the...

2 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 3 Down to Earth

JACK ADAMS GOT BACK TO EARTH after rendezvousing with the freighter at the ISS and switching command of his repair shuttle to Lee Burke. “You got the easy stuff,” Lee groused. “I’ve loaded guidance for the shuttle from satellite to satellite in the deeper ranges of LEO. Sometimes it will take me three days to get from one to the next.” “Watch out for those black ones. After I boosted that last one and reset it, all hell broke loose. I went back and it was completely fried. I towed it back...

2 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 4 Testing Testing

“SAM, JUST GO TO THE CLINIC, jack off in a cup, and let them give you something to increase your virility. There has to be some reason you’re not getting me pregnant. Now would you make the call?” Reba demanded. The reason might be because she’s a spoiled, entitled, bitching shrew, Sam reasoned to himself. Ever since they (read ‘she’) decided to have children, Reba had been demanding and rushed. It wasn’t bad at first. Having a wife who wanted a baby was fun. She never turned down sex. But...

3 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 5 Beat the Clock

“RAMSEY, THIS IS DOCTOR SIMPSON. Do you have a minute to talk?” “Sure, Doc. Am I late for a checkup?” I sat up straight. There’s nothing to get your attention like having your doctor call out of the blue and say, ‘We need to talk.’ It was a slow news day and I couldn’t figure out why Doc Simpson would call me. “We’ve had some interesting developments over at the hospital. You’re the only person I know with an eye for real news. It has to do with dropping birthrates. I think we’re onto...

2 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 6 News Break

WHY AREN’T YOU PREGNANT? That’s right, you aren’t pregnant. No one is. Investigations have uncovered what appears to be a global sterilization of human males. No babies are being born and the world population clock is counting backwards. Of course, you can check with your doctor and even go to a fertility clinic. But they will all show the same. No matter how much semen a man produces in an ejaculation, it will contain no living sperm. It appears this has affected only the...

4 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 7 Boom

I LIKED MOTHER’S. It was reminiscent of a prohibition speakeasy and was modeled after the bar in the old Peter Gunn television show. It even had a small stage where a jazz trio played and was often joined by a chanteuse who whispered out sweet songs of seduction. That was like a hundred years ago when newsmen were newsmen. I even have a Homburg hat I wear when I go there. It has a wider brim than a trilby, but no side creases like a fedora. Other guys in the business like the Red Light, a...

2 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 8 Men in Black

I WALKED INTO ED’S OFFICE and felt the big man’s ever-present shadow fall over me. My story was lying on the editor’s desk. “You have genuine sources to back this up?” “Yes. They’ve asked to remain out of the picture until the story is picked up elsewhere. There’s a real fear out there that the government is quashing the real story and the people who would tell it,” I said. “Aren’t you worried?” “I just work in your shadow.” “This story isn’t enough. We need to know how and when this...

4 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 9 Birth of a Nation

THE STOCK MARKET ‘CRASH’ was more like an amusement park waterslide. It looped up and around, diving steeply and then going airborne on a rise. But ultimately, you knew you’d hit the bottom and hoped there was enough water left in the pool to buoy you up a little. “This is all your fault, Smith,” Derek Goldman yelled across the newsroom office. Derek covered the paper’s finance pages and was clearly unhappy. “The market is down another thousand points today. You just had to come along and...

3 years ago
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Adams ApplesChapter 10 Flight to Egypt

AT SIX O’CLOCK, Elizabeth returned with steak dinners for everyone on duty—especially Jack and Evelyn. She also began shaking martinis for us. It was my favorite interview technique. We sat at the little table between the chairs playing gin until food and drinks had been pushed between us. Jack was nearly catatonic with fear over the coming press conference. “I never talk to people,” he said. “That’s why I like my job, except for being away from Evelyn. Maybe I can get Indira to let her go...

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