Depression Leads To Sex
- 4 years ago
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Depression Heaven free porn video
I had been depressed from the age of eight. Ever since my mum was murdered my mind was crushed. I had been so close to my mother, we had a mother and daughter bond that I thought and wished to never be broken. But it was taken away so quick I didn’t know what hit me.
I didn’t want to know about life anymore. Even though the killer was found- a desperate lowlife mug, I felt that justice was still unfulfilled. When her killer was sentenced to life and the feeling of more revenge remained in my head it was then my depression really sunk in. I became a quiet loner at school, I didn’t even hold conversations with my grieving dad. I didn’t see the point.
Nobody could bring my mum back and I just wanted her with me again. I remember sitting in a corner in my room, looking over her photos again and again, listening to rock music. Then at the age of nine I found out the joys of cutting myself. It worked, for a while. Physical pain was the only thing that occurred when I sliced my arms- the mental pain and things I was thinking always seemed to fade away in those moments.
I guess I became a Goth gradually, but it was unplanned. I used to be at least accepted in society before my mum was killed. Goths in the part of London I was brought up in was simply not allowed. No, I should not use the word allowed, it was thought of as horrifying. People around here thought and still think all Goths are evil and worship the devil and are a disgrace to society. I never ever worshipped the devil in my lifetime- I just never worshipped God either.
I’m still a Goth now, it’s something that I never want to change. But I do want to change my depression. I feel I can, I mean I am certainly more happy then I was ten years ago when I was eight. It’s all to do with one person. One person who has helped me so much… I will tell the story of what happened exactly a year before now.
Eighteenth birthday… I woke up early with a solemn face. It was a Saturday but I always woke up early on the weekends to do a morning run before everybody was out. I walked up steadily to my full length mirror, and looked at the reflection before me. I had forgotten to take off my black eye shadow and my hair was all over the place. I was in my baggy black pyjamas, the sleeves of my top going way past my wrists.
I gulped, my throat dry, as I think about looking at them. I decide to in a split second. I slowly roll up my lengthy sleeves, avoiding staring at the mirror just yet, rolling them up higher and higher until it was secure right at the top of my skinny arms, near my armpits. I held my arms out normally, with my elbows facing the ground and I progressively turned my arms around, looking into the mirror also. My fresh cuts had just about started the scabbing up phase, and my old scars remained in the background. It did look horrible I admitted as I focused into the wide mirror at the reflection of my flawed arms and wrists, but I couldn’t help from inflicting these things on myself. I always made sure I wore something that covered these fuckers anyway. I turned the sleeves back down again and proceeded to get ready with my run.
The runs I went to every weekend were easy, even though I went quite a distance. Even though I started to sweat and the front of my hair grew damp during that run in the morning on my birthday. I don’t know why, but because I knew I had a bit of loose change in my trouser pocket, I jogged all the way into a small café instead going further down the street and cutting a park that leaded straight back to my house. I stepped inside the café, looking around briefly, noticing a place at the back of the room I’d probably take gratitude into sitting. I walked up to the counter.
‘What would you like, young one?’ the stubby man behind the counter asked.
‘Um… I suppose I’d have a coffee?’ I questioned. I didn’t know why I was doing what I did. I never liked to ask a question or start a conversation unless it was necessary, and it wasn’t necessary for me to go into a café and get a coffee.
‘One coffee comin’ up!’ he exclaimed joyfully, without delay proceeding my request.
I went to the back of the room, and to the table I anticipated in sitting when I first came into the café. I sat round the two seated table and relaxed. My neck felt tense. I used my hands to massage my neck, looking downwards.
Not so long after a hand came into view, placing a coffee on my table. The hand was very shapely and tanned I noticed. I slowly raised my head up to see who had invaded my territory (because by then I was certain it couldn’t have been the man behind the counter) and I almost fell off my chair.
What was it that made me besotted in him at first sight? Was it the floppiness of his shiny brown hair that was slightly ruffled? Was it the oval of his beady green sexy eyes? Was it his nose, that was so slender yet masculine, or his lips, so faultless and dying to be kissed? Or his strong set jaw that just made his face look so much more perfect?
I think it was all of those things, and many more that just made me want to faint at the first sight of him.
‘My father said to bring over your coffee,’ he explained, holding his arm to his side again. He was wearing a cooking apron over the blue t shirt and jeans that fitted him nicely.
‘T-thanks,’ I stuttered, feeling so silly. I knew I was blushing a little. I wanted him to go in case I really started to embarrass myself but instead he reluctantly sat around the table with me.
‘You went out for a jog?’ he asked, motioning towards my faintly damp hair and sports clothes.
‘Umm… Yeah,’ I replied, sipping some coffee, because my throat was dry. I felt my belly tingling and by then I was really had gotten wet down there. It was a truly remarkable feeling. His eyes never went from mine. It made me feel weary and confused. Was he interested in me? I mean he was a guy to die for and he looked like he was in his early twenties, he must have a girlfriend already.
‘I’ve never seen you around here before,’ he said, grinning. ‘You’re really cute so if I had done I would remember.’
I coughed. Cute? Really?
‘Thanks,’ I said in disbelief.
‘Your eyes are wonderful,’ he said, peering into them. I felt so good when he was making these complements but I was uncertain if he meant it.
‘So are yours,’ I said. My knickers were most probably damp by now.
‘So striking and blue… baby blue…’ he said as if he was dazed. I didn’t know I could have this much effect on a boy.
‘Hey, fancy meeting me later?’ he asked with a sparkle in his
oh- so-wonderful eyes.
I was in a trance myself. I was willing to do anything with the handsome stranger sat right in front of me.
‘Yeah, sure,’ I found my mouth blubber out.
‘Great,’ he said happily, flashing two rows of straight white teeth.
‘… I don’t even know your name,’ I said dreamily.
‘The name is Zack. And yours is?’
‘Jacy,’ I replied.
His hand went to clutch on mine. The sexual tension between us was unbelievable. His warm male hand over mine sent my belly shooting with lust and need.
‘Ok, Jacy, meet me later I’ll make us something to eat,’ he said, leaning more forward towards me. The smell of his aftershave made me want to cry out with pleasure. It was madness what was happening to me right then- stuff like this just didn’t happen to me.
He reached inside his apron pocket and a mini notebook appeared. A pen was within sight not so long afterwards. He was scribbling something down on the paper in the notebook with his right hand whilst his left hand stayed securely on my own, his thumb now lightly stroking my knuckles because my hand was sort of scrunched up. I loved the buzz he was giving me.
‘Here’s my address,’ he said with a cute smile, to my regret moving his hand that was on me away to tear out the paper from the notebook. He passed me the paper. I looked
at it to see his address. It wasn’t far at all. Even though I felt so intrigued and sexually excited by this guy I wondered what I should do. And say I did go to meet him at his house for dinner, was it the wrong move? Would I end up in some sort of danger?
‘Meet me at my place for seven Jacy,’ he said so sweetly. His eyes bore into mine, craving for my agreement. He was just so sexy, and his eyes drooled sincerity and my instincts told me to trust him.
‘Yeah, I’ll meet you at your house,’ I said.
‘Great. You know whereabouts it is?’
I nodded.
‘Zack!’
Zack sighed. ‘My dad is calling me. There are probably people wanting a big breakfast or something. I’ll see you later OK?’ he said, standing up and leaving my view.
I did go and meet him for seven. On the dot it was too. I stood in my room in front of my opened wardrobe and wondered what to wear. I had to wear something with sleeves to hide the scars on my arms, I knew that… but I wanted to wear something nice…. something with glamour…something sexy.
In the end I settled for a black cotton sundress with long sleeves. The dress was ankle length and was cut nicely around the cleavage area. I wore a bra that lifted my pert breasts even more then they are normally and it did make the illusion that I was bigger in the chest department then I actually was. I wore sheer black tights and I decided that boots would go superbly with what I was wearing.
Right in front of the door Zack said would be his house, I remained feeling overcome by nerves. The wind was blowing brusquely at me, tugging at my dark shoulder length hair which I had decided to leave out of a bun. I wished as I stood there that I had a hair band with me. I pressed the bell and waited. I started to feel very cold when at last the door opened and I was greeted by a very happy looking Zack. He was obviously glad that I had made it.
He was wearing dark jeans and an olive shirt. His hair also looked like he attended to it. He looked very smart and breathtaking.
‘Come in,’ he said, opening the door for me. I stepped in, looking at my surroundings. It was a very nice house. Kept immaculately clean. I smelled the exquisite aroma of food wafting from the kitchen.
Before I could say anything, Zack was right in front of me and his hands clamped securely on my shoulders. He was a few inches taller then me.
‘You’re so beautiful Jacy,’ he said, moving in on me. My body was stiff at first but when his lips first met mine my body felt agile. His lips were so smooth and full and our kiss was gentle at first then grew insistent. His arms wrapped around me and he pressed against me. I felt something hard against my belly. I moaned.
‘I want you so badly, ever since we first met I knew I wanted to do all these things to you,’ he exhaled, before planting kisses around the side of my neck. My breathing quickened. My pussy was seeping with my juices. I was no longer cold at all as our sexual heat enveloped us.
‘You should turn off the food,’ I commented. I wanted him to fuck me so badly.
‘You’re right, wait in the living room for me,’ he said, kissing me then walking towards the kitchen. I did as I was told, going into the living room and sitting down on a very comfortable carroty coloured sofa. He soon joined me in the room, holding a bottle of opened champagne and two empty wine glasses.
‘You can tell me a bit about you whilst we drink and make out at the same time,’ he beamed. He sat down next to me and I felt sexual heat return again. My nipples were tight against my bra as I grew excited wondering what would happen with me and him tonight. I was surprised that I really wanted us to fuck after knowing him for such a little time. But it felt like it would be really right if we did.
‘How old are you Jacy?’ he asked.
‘I’m eighteen…today actually,’ I replied, resisting the urge to just pounce on him.
‘I’m twenty-two, and great, happy birthday,’ he said whilst pouring the champagne into the glasses. He passed me a glass.
‘Thanks,’ I said, taking a sip straight away.
He gulped on his own champagne, and even though I wasn’t looking at him I could feel him watching me.
‘You’re so sexy Jacy,’ he said huskily. I turned my head to see his hand quickly adjusting the bulge in his jeans. I couldn’t take my eyes away from what he was touching through the fabric of his trousers.
‘Yeah, I’m hard,’ he said smiling. ‘I’m very hard. You’re just so appealing to me, I can’t help myself. Are you wet?’
I felt shy yet felt the need to answer him honestly.
‘Yes.’
‘How wet?’ he questioned.
‘Very.’
I heard him suck in his breath. He placed his glass on the table and swiftly took mine out of my hand on onto the table. He inched closer to me.
‘Can I feel how wet you are?’ he asked. His voice was growing sharp.
‘Yes.’
His mouth crushed to mine, and his kiss was hot and fiery from the first instance this time. His tongue darted into mine and my breathing accelerated.
‘Mmm, you taste so sweet,’ he said briefly before closing his mouth on mine again. I could feel his hand brushing on my leg. I could feel it go under my dress and lightly stroke me through the silkiness of my tights. My pussy was calling onto him. I needed him to touch me there.
‘I’m wearing tights,’ I hissed, angry at myself for choosing it. I wanted his long manly fingers stroking my bud and teasing me to orgasm.
‘Fuck, I want to touch your pussy now,’ he breathed roughly, showing just how much he wanted to through the kisses he was attacking me with. He used his tongue and licked along my jaw line, planting a kiss just below my ear. Meanwhile his hand was inching more up my legs, towards my inner thigh. He was nibbling on my ear when his hand moved further up, to my waist and stopped there.
‘Stand up and take your tights off,’ he whispered into my ear. I was so wrapped up in this moment that I was going to do whatever he said. So I was up in an instant, my hands going under my dress and tugging down my tights. I zipped off my boots and kicked them aside.
‘You wearing knickers baby?’ he asked.
I nodded, giggling.
‘Take them off and give them to me,’ he ordered. I was wearing velvety black panties, they were my best knickers that I had, and it felt sexy knowing my cream was just pouring out of my pussyhole and it was probably soaking them right now, just like rain would soak clothes. I reached under my dress again and slowly pulled my knickers down. I could smell the musk of my pussy spread out into the open space. I was so turned on, more then I had ever been in my life. I swirled my tiny knickers around in the air then threw it at Zack, biting my lower lip. He caught my wet panties with ease, and commenced on sniffing the item hungrily.
‘Fuck, it smells so nice and it’s so wet,’ he said, turning the inside of the panties out. He licked some of my pussy juice off, and then looked back up at me, his eyes glazed with desire.
‘Get your fucking sexy juicy pussy self over here now,’ he almost shouted how much he needed me. I walked up to him elegantly, and he snatched me in his arms. His mouth crashed on mine violently as he tugged on the cardigan I was wearing over my dress. I was shaking as I yanked on the buttons of his shirt. He reached between us and ripped off his shirt himself revealing a lovely strong set of arms and a smooth hairless chest. I knew his stomach would ripple muscle even though I couldn’t see it properly because we were so close together kissing and licking each other.
His rough hands were moving up my bare legs, making me quiver. They went higher until they were on the bottom of my dress and he started to move the whole dress up, licking his lips when the dress was high enough to expose my dripping pussy more clearly. He spread my legs a little more apart on the couch and his head dipped low as his tongue darte
d to lick across my slightly open slit.
‘Oh my god!’ I gasped, my eyes closing tightly due to the immense pleasure I was receiving. I lay back fully on the couch because my back was failing me at that precise moment. Zack continued his wild onslaught on my spread pussy, his tongue focusing on my pink bud that was stuff and needy.
‘Don’t stop, don’t stop!!’ I found myself chorusing again and again. All of a sudden the pleasure intensified ten times more as his finger accessed my soppy vagina.
‘Ohhhh!’ I cried out, my eyes opening wide as I felt my body beginning to spasm.
‘Go on, go on!’ he taunted. ‘Cum baby cum for me cum!!!’
That was the final straw. My whole body had this unbelievable delightful outburst and my orgasm roared out of me.
He grunted whilst pulling me to him and kissing me tenderly on the lips.
‘I need to get out of these jeans,’ he laughed. I laughed too then quickly turned him over so he was the one lying down on the couch. I smiled as I rested the palm of my hands on his soft chest. I ran my fingers over his hardening nipples and I heard him sigh. I leant over and kissed his neck then straightened up straddled on his body. I moved my hand lower until it was on top of his rigid flesh that was struggling behind the jeans he had on.
‘Fucking free me babe,’ he almost begged, wincing with pain.
I undid his trouser button and zipped down his jeans. His erection sprang upwards. It pleased me to know he had been wearing no boxing shorts. His dick was long and thick, with veins structured around his hardened instrument. It looked so very alive, standing up proudly away from the rest of his body. The head of his dick was pink and a tiny bit of pre-cum oozed out of it.
‘Touch me…PLEASE,’ he now begged me.
My hand enclosed around his throbbing dick, and I slowly began to jerk him off. His eyes were on me and his face was scrunched up with ecstasy as my speed on him grew faster.
‘Suck me oh fuck suck me baby!’ he requested with a series of grunts and heavy sighs. My head dished low and I at first licked his pre-cum off the head of his dick with my tongue. He tasted nice. I licked some more then close my mouth around his expanding head and sucked him leisurely.
‘Jacy- Jacy, Ooooh fuck oh fuck you suck good you’re sucking me so good you sexy goth tease, suck me harder baby ooh I want your pretty mouth all over my dick!!!’
I started to suck on more of Zack’s long dick, bringing more and more of him into my mouth. I had never sucked off a boy before, I had only once before engaged in silly sloppy sex that I didn’t enjoy so this was a new experience to me. I loved sucking Zack’s tool, I loved sucking the swollen head of his dick and the length of his hard meat. I began to take Zack in and out of my mouth in a recurring motion and this seemed to send Zack closer and closer to the edge. He began to shove his hips upwards to meet the rhythm of the blowjob I was giving him. My hands moved upwards to Zack’s chest and my fingers tweaked and pinched at his nipples as I continued to bob my head up and down on his hot thick member.
‘Jacy- Jacy!’ he groaned like a mad animal. I felt his whole body twitch around mine and stiffen, I felt his hips stop in mid air as he came violently, jets of thick hot spunk emptying out into my mouth. I was determined to swallow every last drop but he just kept tipping out more quickly then I was gulping and some of his sperm exceeded to drip out of the corners of my lips. After most of his spunk tank had spurted out of his penis, Zack rested his buttocks on the couch again. His whole body was heaving, desperate to get back to standard conditions. I was dragging his jeans down and off him while he was getting back to a normal state.
‘Lay down beside me,’ he said. I did so, well not particularly beside him because it was a couch and there wasn’t enough space, but half of my body was on his. His arms went around me.
‘I can’t believe you’re so special to me even though we have just met,’ he said. His hand was lightly tapping my soft upper leg. I felt similar feelings, but I didn’t speak them out. I noticed that after five minutes his dick was getting semi-hard again. He looked at me properly, his perfect green eyes tearing into mine.
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