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‘You know… people always amuse me.’

‘What? Who are you?’ replied James. James was a man in his early forties, well built, a little above medium height. His black hair was starting to gray at the temples, but his beefy frame showed no apparent signs of age. James sat at a table at a corner bistro under an umbrella in the shade, alone until a moment ago, and he had been reading the newspaper in the relatively still air of early afternoon, sipping on his coffee.

‘You can call me Stan, I guess,’ replied the rathert nondescript man who now sat across from him. Stan had on a plaid flannel shirt, black belt, blue jeans and work boots. His dress was rather out of place for the typical clientelle of this particular little bistro. James himself looked every inch the successful businessman.

‘Stan-I-Guess, what are you doing here? I was sitting alone for a reason, if it hadn’t occurred to you.’ replied James in a cool manner.

‘See? There you go again, being so amusing. People always are. The intelligent ones, at least.’ said Stan.

‘Are you a dedicated people watcher, then, Stan-I-Guess?’

‘You know, in all my years, I never thought about it, but I suppose that’s exactly what I am. Interesting that it should take such a comment to bring that to my attention. You’d think it would have crossed my mind a long time ago.’

‘Well I’m glad I could help you out. And now I’d like some privacy in which to read my newspaper.’ James responded with a hint of irritation in his voice.

‘Privacy. That’s an interesting thing you say. You want privacy, and yet here you are, sitting almost smack dab in the middle of a city, surrounded by what, two hundred eighty-three thousand, nine hundred seventy-six other people, and you find my presence an invasion of privacy. How interesting. That guy behind you is closer to you than I am, you know, but you’re not telling him to go away so you have privacy.’ Stan grinned as he spoke.

James gave up. ‘Fine, sit there if you wish, but I am going to read my newspaper and relax.’

He proceeded to do just that.

After a moment of silence, Stan spoke again.

‘Has it ever occurred to you just how funny people are? I mean, people as a whole. They’re so… stupid.’ Stan chuckled.

‘You’re contradicting yourself, Stan. First you said people are amusing because they’re intelligent, and now you say they’re funny because they’re stupid.’ James said without ever looking up from his paper.

‘I said both those things, true, but they are both true without being mutually exclusive. In fact, it is the stupidity of intelligent people that most amuses me, James.’

James looked up. ‘Who said my name was James?’

‘Well, isn’t it James? You’re James Letinthal Winthrop the Third. Plain as day to me.’ replied Stan.

‘And how did you come to know that, Stan-I-Guess?’ said James through slightly narrowed eyes, now sporting more than a hint of annoyance in his tone.

‘Oh, I just know. I guess you could say I’m psychic.’ Stan looked nonchalantly off to the side at a red cardinal that had found a perch in a nearby ornamental bush. The bird met eyes with him and instantly fell dead with a small plop that James didn’t notice. Stan, amused, let a grin play on his lips for a moment before turning back to James.

‘Psychic, huh? More likely you clean windows at my office and saw my business card.’ James went back to reading the newspaper.

‘I suppose that would be more likely in a mathematical sense. But I am not your average guy. So likely or not, it doesn’t matter.’

James was feeling something strange about Stan. He couldn’t figure out what it was, though. Trying to figure it out, he just kept reading the newspaper.

‘Ever listened to people talk about their faith?’ asked Stan.

‘On occasion,’ returned James, still not looking up from the newspaper he was too busy thinking to read.

‘It amazes me how people – so many people, so many people of greater than average intelligence, can have such idiotic beliefs.’

James looked up. ‘Idiotic beliefs?’ he asked.

‘Yeah, you know. All this bullshit religious crap people believe. God is a wise old man who can’t decide if he loves you or hates you. Everyone has guardian angels, but they don’t seem to do anything. The Devil is a red-skinned horned pitchfork-wielding maniac who lives in a barbecue pit and who wants to buy your soul. You know, all that stupid crap.’ Stan began gesticulating to emphasize his points as he made them.

‘You sound pretty confident, Stan. You think you know how things really work, then?’ James said, looking him in the eye. Somehow, for a split second, there was a flash of red across Stan’s irises, and just as fast, then they were normal again. James blinked and looked harder, but there was nothing unusual about them. ‘Must have been a reflection or something,’ he thought to himself.

‘Sure, I know how things really work. For one, God’s not an old man. God’s not a man at all. God is sexless, and believe me, God has no trouble making up God’s mind about things. Humans are so clueless.’ Stan rolled his eyes.

‘I see.’ replied James, thinking he was sitting across from an escaped mental patient now.

‘I’m not a mental patient, James. I know that’s what you’re thinking.’

Stan paused to contemplate his fingernails a moment.

‘And the Devil. He does not have red skin. He doesn’t have horns. He’s not a maniac. And he hasn’t ever used a pitchfork. No tail, either. Or scales.’

‘Uh…’ said James.

‘Nope. Lucifer is not any of those things. And I should know. But it’s hilarious how people are so stupid that they wouldn’t know it if they were sitting in front of him, the Devil himself, and having a conversation with him, James. You know what I mean?’ Stan looked James in the eye with a meaningful look. There was another brief flash of red, and Stan winked.

James was silent.

‘Can I get you another coffee, sir?’ asked the waiter. James jumped.

‘Uh, no, uh, thanks… would uh…’ said James, looking back to Stan. But there was no Stan. Just an empty seat across the table, cockeyed as it had been when it was occupied.

‘Did you see the man who was seated across the table from me?’ asked James. ‘Plaid flannel shirt, bluejeans?’

‘No sir,’ said the waiter. ‘We have a strict dress code, if you will recall. No such person could have gotten to the patio.’

‘Uh… yeah…’ said James.

‘Remember this day, James,’ came Stan’s voice. ‘I don’t make personal visits very often. Take a little time to think about things. They’re not always the way you imagine.’

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Hi Readers first of all Assalam-O-Alaikum! kaise hain umeed kerta hoon ke aap sub kharayat se hoon ge.main urdu stories ka aik boht zayada reader hon aur urduurdu per her aok story prhi hoi hai aur sub kee sub boht heeeeezaberdast hain.ab main aap ka introduction apne bare main kerwana chahta hoon.My name is Adnan(spouse)and i am 19yrs old hoon aur student(edge) hoon and live in Lahore.Story ke taraf chalne pehle main aap ko batana zaroori samajhta hoon ke ye story real nahin hai balke ye mere...

1 year ago
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Jane catches neighbor 3 Jane and Tyler meet up again

Friday morning and Jane couldn’t get the fact that Tyler was going out of town with her out of her head. Her pussy was so wet with just the thought of what was going to happen. She lay across the bed, took out her vibrator and started rubbing her soaked pussy with the toy. She thought of Tyler while she started fucking herself with it, making her cum almost instantly. She lay there naked on the bed just thinking about what was to come. She got so relaxed she fell asleep laying across the bed...

Cheating
1 year ago
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Flying the Friendly Skies0

The flight that I had booked for my 1st trip to Los Angeles had 8 people on board and a full compliment of pilots and stewardesses. It was actually pretty cool. There were 10 stewardesses on this flight. 3 African American, 4 Asians and 3 Caucasian Stewardesses. I was particularly watching the Asian stewardesses because of the reason for my flight. I had met this girl on line and she lived in La. Several months ago, we started our online dating, but we both agreed that if we met someone else...

3 years ago
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Welcome Return

Sven waited on the farmhouse doorstep, hearing the footsteps approaching in answer to his ringing of the bell.The smile as Sam opened the door brightened the cold, damp afternoon better than any sunshine might have done.  Sven kissed her as he stepped quickly in, so she could shut the door before the dismal late winter day had time to penetrate the warmth within."Sven - it's a welcome return - so good to see you again, it's been too long."  Then, "Give me your coat and go in by the fire and...

Cheating
2 years ago
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Kitten part 4

Kitten, part 4 "Yes it is," I said. "You see unclaimed Kittens don't get pampered the way the rest of us did. The way you will." I continued my story, "Those two had been sneaking around for weeks, hiding out in the unused out buildings, raiding the dining hall when they thought it was safe. They met up on the streets and hung together, Hooking whenever necessary to make money as they hitch hiked cross country. Tammy heard about the school from one of her Jane's....

2 years ago
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Jokes and GigglesChapter 825

This one is compliments of J & B A Touching Story Kind of a cool way to take a casket to the cemetery A funeral procession pulled into Pressley Cemetery. Several car loads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it. A passer-by remarked, “That guy must have been a very avid fisherman.” “Oh, he still is,” remarked one of the mourners. “As a matter of fact, he’s headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife.” Lord’s Prayer By a 15-year-old...

2 years ago
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My Sweet Old Man

OK. I'm not a writer, so this may not be well-written or even coherent. Just treat it as a stream-of-consciousness account by a not-so-skillful writer and bear with me. This was a long time ago. In the 70s and 80s, before the Internet. Connections were made locally either by word-of-mouth, or by cards in the local adult bookstore. I had put cards in bookstores near me, and occasionally received phone calls. I had never intended to support myself this way, no did I ever do that. It was simply...

4 years ago
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Second ChanceChapter 2

I was the first up in the morning. By the time I showered, shaved, and had a bite to eat, Colleen was awake and I could give her a kiss before I headed to the office. She grabbed my face and nearly sucked my tongue out my mouth. Her interest spiked mine, and we kissed, petted, and cuddled for a very long time. I still needed to be in the office for first-week meetings. Mr. Bell and I made a habit of meeting with every department head, every month during the first week, to receive updates,...

3 years ago
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Usha the black beauty

Hi dosto mera naam samadhan hein aur meri age 27 years hein….. Mein ISS ka regular reader hoon aur mein iss par ki sab story padata hoon aur mujhe ye story bahut pasand hein. Story padkar mujhe laga ki mein bhi mere experience aap logon ke saath share karron to mein aap logon ke saamane apni story pesh karane jaaa raha hoon ye meri pahali story hein isliye language mein koi galat ho jaaye to mujhe maaf kardena… aur mujhe baad mein aap log reply kar sakate hoon meri e-mail id hein meri age 27...

2 years ago
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Halloween Party

After two weeks of begging my step-mom, she had finally allowed me to go to a Halloween party. She was very protective of me and was worried about me getting exposed to drugs and alcohol. An important fact she didn’t know was that it wasn’t a normal Halloween party. At sixteen years old, losing my virginity was all I was trying to do. Everyone would be wearing costumes with masks and it was sure to result in lots of sex.The party would take place in a house with about a dozen rooms and the only...

Taboo
3 years ago
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Making a better worldon our honeymoon

We arrived at the hotel by taxi, Leanne and Darrell left me to collect the cases as they went inside. As I got to the check-in desk the clerk told me that they had already gone up to their room and asked if I was sure that I didn’t want a porter to help with the cases, they said that you could manage but you are on holiday. I can guess that they wanted me to struggle, so I refused the offer. “Very well, you have the room next to theirs” he said as he gave me a key card. I let myself into...

3 years ago
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Sarie The Prequel

This wasn’t like her. Sarie never had sex in public places. Never anywhere she could be caught. Certainly never with anyone she had no intention of dating seriously. Yet one month after breaking up with Melinda, the girl she’d loved for two years, she found herself flat on her back on the conference table at work. At Angie’s mercy. Angie “the powerhouse” Baker was so different from her. So different from Melinda. It was what had first attracted Sarie. Angie was open about being a lesbian,...

4 years ago
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Feeding an addiction A Threeway Street Ch 6

Scarsdale, NY: Saturday 24th January 2015Buyer’s remorseThe morning's first cup of coffee always tastes wonderful and today was no exception to this rule of life.But everything else that had happened in the last few hours was very much an exception. Wholly different to everything that had happened in my life before, and wholly different to everything that had happened in Sue’s life and in our marriage.I sat with my hands wrapped around the hot cup enjoying it’s warming effect, deep in thought....

Wife Lovers
3 years ago
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You Cant Be Mad Forever

Ian glared at the male directly across the table from him as they ate their supper together in the pub, his gaze full of rage. They were tucked away in a dimly lit corner to avoid being bothered by the general public, smiling and talking with each other in a place just for themselves. Well, at least, most of them were smiling and talking. The whole group of close, 20ish-year-old friends had finally gotten a time where their free days seemed to line up perfectly, and too the opportunity by...

2 years ago
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SamChapter 16B

On this trip I kept my opinions of her driving and the discomfort of riding the bike to myself. She was right about this being the best way to get somewhere in the shortest possible time, and if the situation was anywhere as bad as the Sheriff's tone implied, speed was what we needed right now. Neeka threaded her way expertly, if frighteningly, through the light afternoon traffic. We had made good time getting home and getting dressed and it was still well before the time for school to let...

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