After indian porn

3 years ago
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In The Dark

Note: This story was originally published here under a different pseudonym of mine. Don’t worry, the author is the same. If you liked it before, please like it again! I had gotten home from a long day at work and was looking forward to date night with my boyfriend, Dave. I live in a large house with my parents, but they were away for the week visiting friends. They had been leaving me alone for the past several years since I turned eighteen, and I was used to them being gone. I came into the...

2 years ago
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The Phone Conquistador

‘You want me to touch where?’ I giggled. After a long morning of wiping my children’s buts, noses, and the kitchen counters, besides, I was brain-dead. Catching a few minutes in my cramped bedroom to check voice-mail, I felt the color flush to my cheeks. Camden Collins was the high school dreamer who ended up creating his own software empire. After asking my childhood best friend for my contact information, he had ‘reconnected’ with me. Expressing an unrequited crush, he proceeded to show...

2 years ago
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Becky s Belt

"I spoke to you earlier today about your past week's demerits. Why are you here?" "To be punished, Governess," he answered with a quaver in his voice. "How did I punish you last week?" "You gave me a strapping with Becky's belt." "Now I want you to strip. Completely!" "Everything, Governess?" His insides fluttered. "Everything! Quickly!" Governess stood with her hands on her hips and watched him remove his clothes. Then she ordered, "Get Becky and bring her here. Tell her to bring her belt."...

4 years ago
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Step Daughter is a woman now part 4

Continuation of the following story:https://xhamster.com/stories/step-daughter-is-a-woman-now-part-1-935761https://xhamster.com/stories/step-daughter-is-a-woman-now-part-2-937647https://xhamster.com/stories/step-daughter-is-a-woman-now-part-3-1011037It had been 20 minutes of me sitting there, lost in my head, struggling with the thought of what to do. I was so torn with what I had done and what I should do. I know what I wanted to do, but could I? I finally decided to think things through a bit...

1 year ago
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Sex With Anonymous Friend And Guest

Hi, Friends! This is Korn Mathews once again with another sex story. This is about the affair with me and an anonymous friend. Actually, our introduction happened here only. With one of my stories, she sent an email. We slowly started chatting on email. Exchanged our numbers. Started chatting on WhatsApp. She was sending adult jokes, lover especially if I create jokes on her. She enjoys it a lot. Slowly we started calling each other and enjoy voice sex also. We decided to meet. She is from...

1 year ago
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Our friend Kay part 2

I had the perfect setup for a single man in the USAF at Yokota AFB. With a girl friend who worked in the BX who had a bisexual girl friend who was a bar girl and always looking for a man. In my last story, I had arrived at my girl friends apartment on a rainy night surprising my girl Machiko and her friend Kay. They had been caught in a sudden rain shower and were in the process of drying out. While drying out Machiko had laid down on the bed to take a nap, and Kay was cat napping in a living...

Group Sex
3 years ago
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My Pregnant Neighbour

I was a single male in my late fourties, who has a really good job and therefore really hardly any time for relationships. I live in an apartment in a city and recently I got new neighbours. They were couple in their mid-thirties and they politely introduced themselves to me. He was a businessman named Andrew, she was a housewife called Paula, who was pregnant with their first child. They seemed friendly enough folks, but I didn’t pay much attention to them. I like to be by myself and usually...

Straight Sex
4 years ago
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Lidt om aring rdet der er g aring et det var et mega sp aelig ned

Nyt år er snart på vej ..-------------------------------Så er 2016 snart forbi og det er tid til at tænke lidt tilbage på hvad vi har oplevet af frække ting og sager.2016 startede med dejlig sex sammen med gode venner, vi sexede fra kl 1 til ca 6.30 om morgen, det var utroligt frækt og dejligt.I februar tog fruen en tur til Sverige, hvor hun fik lavet større bryster, resultatet har mange af jer set i vores galleri, og nogle af jer har også oplevet dem IRL. Resultatet er blevet rigtigt godt,...

2 years ago
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Sukky Foxxe Sukky s first anal

Working GirlThe bookings kept on coming. She stopped working at the beauty ther****ts. The fill in job had become the job. She was booked by Brian for a second time, this time the shoot took place in a derelict factory. The place was falling apart. It was cold, she had goose bumps. The rain dripped through the roof. Brian apologised, and so he should. The toilet hadn’t been used in years. Sukky wasn’t about to change that, and squatted in the yard. Fuck this. Brian though, was really pleased...

2 years ago
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The Fan ClubChapter 5

I was nearly breathless after fucking June so damn hard, of course, and on camera, no less! While Casey and Erica watched and jilled off, I drove my cock balls deep inside my colleague’s cunny, and by Jove, that girl made her feelings about the matter loud and clear! With every stroke, my sweet June pushed back at me with her hips with a fervor that was worthy of the president of my apparent “fan club.” I hoped that Gwen got an eyeful of this, because she was going to hate it, I was sure. The...

1 year ago
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Dyked Kimber Woods Sarah Vandella Fuck The Attitude Out Of Her

Sometimes teenage girls are a little too much to handle. Thats when you want to call in Sarah Vandella. This hard ass blonde bitch is not to be fucked with. She finds out the issues, and gets down and dirty to correct them. With Kimber Woods, its simple. Shes violent, shes out of control, and she cant stop partying. Basically, shes on the path to becoming a full blown thot. No mother wants to see that happen. So, Sarah is hired to fuck the nasty attitude right out of Kimbers teenage cooch. As...

xmoviesforyou
3 years ago
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My wife rsquo s been a slut all along part 7

After Roosevelt had left. Dina went in and took another shower, she said she really didn’t get clean because she was in there giving Roosevelt a scrub down. After she got out, I asked her if I could get a blow job, because I was supper horned up.She said Dave you only get one bj a week are you sure you want to use it right now.I told her yes please I am dying for one. She said ok and I sat on the bed and she got between my legs and started sucking my cock.I came in seconds. Dina looked up at me...

4 years ago
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sis in law 3

Thanks for the comments so far...We got the car park at the block where my sister in law lived both of us still naked from the waist down; we pulled up our clothing and made our way to her house. As soon as we got in the door still in the hallway she turned to me and we kissed, My hands round her holding her arse and pulling her into me, semi erect cock against her pelvis. I then took hold of the bottom of her top and started to raise it, she held her arms up and I lifted it higher taking it...

3 years ago
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me her and her phone

Its was last year i had meet a lovely girl from an internet site cute young sweet and would turn out to be a really dirty girl,we talked on msn and by text about everything day things work the weather innocent things. About two weeks had passed when we would start to talk dirty i would text her telling her what i would love to do to her if we was to meet,one night after me telling her how much i would love to be running my hands all over my body she sent me a little reward,a gorgeous picture of...

2 years ago
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Husband Wife Dono Ko Khush Kiya

Ye 100% such hai aur first time main apni real story nahi real incident bata raha hoon, my name kumar from jalandhar, meri ek facebook id hai jo main adult kamo ke liye use karta hoon, ek din maine uspe search kar raha tha to ek admi ka number diya tha ki main jalandhar ghoomne a raha hoon, agar koi guy hai jo jo lund choos sake to contact me Maine us number pe call kiya aur ye mera first time meeting thee to maine thoda darr bhi raha tha lekin maine himmat karke uske bataye hotel main gea, aur...

4 years ago
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Amazon Nation Ch 01

The sun rose over the land of Thrace. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day. Tecmessa was restless under her tent. She had been having dreams again. Strange dreams. She was afraid of them. These were dreams that would get her into trouble if the others found out about them. She was dreaming of a strange man she felt was destined to become her lover. Tecmessa was an Amazon. The Amazons were female warriors that rejected the authoritarian ways of men. They lived apart from men and...

3 years ago
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You Cant Be Mad Forever

Ian glared at the male directly across the table from him as they ate their supper together in the pub, his gaze full of rage. They were tucked away in a dimly lit corner to avoid being bothered by the general public, smiling and talking with each other in a place just for themselves. Well, at least, most of them were smiling and talking. The whole group of close, 20ish-year-old friends had finally gotten a time where their free days seemed to line up perfectly, and too the opportunity by...

3 years ago
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Going on Vacation Pt 4

Introduction: Please read Going on Vacation pt 1 through 3 As we got in sight of the cabin, we reluctantly let go of each others hand. Aaron ducked behind a tree, taking me with him, giving me one last passionate kiss. We then walked back out into the open, and into the cabin. It was already after noon and our mother had lunch waiting for us. I had really worked up an appetite! I scarfed down my lunch, not even looking up until it was all gone. I saw my mother was staring at me with this...

3 years ago
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Cary Unsettled

Cary was unsettled. She worked in one of those non-descript buildings that pervasively dots industrial parks. In fact, it was an engineering firm doing designer work in plastics, PVC, and other combinations of unpronounceable chemicals. Officially, Cary was the receptionist and accounting technician. However, the company had few walk-ins, so they kept her out front so the young engineers, designers, and techs working “in the back” had something nice to look at as they entered and left the...

4 years ago
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Living the Dream part 2

Living the Dream Part 2, Dinner and the Swap By Malissa Madison ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Authors note; While this story and the characters in it are fictitious, some things come from real life experiences. The Author is a DID survivor with multiple personalities, and more than a few of the characters are modeled after them. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'd fallen asleep feeling relieved,...

4 years ago
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Pool HustledChapter 1

David Tomorrow will be my 80th birthday. I'm in my pole barn outside of my farmhouse, looking at my collection of classic cars. I am standing by my first car, a 1964 Pontiac Tempest. I remember dealing the owner of the car. The junkyard was 20 miles north of Gladwin. It reminded me of the TV show, Sanford and Son. The car was in bad shape, one step from a car crusher. The guy wanted 1200 dollars for the car. I think he thought he found a sucker. "I will give you five hundred for it," I...

4 years ago
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Thugs Hugs and d gs

It's rather humiliating to put to words what happened the day I saw my soul-mate degraded the way she was. I must confess I do think often about the that day and it makes me cum instantly. She doesn't talk about it for reasons of her own. One thing is certain, we will never be the same. It changed our lives forever. I guess I should start at the beginning of that day so you get the whole story..We had been using speed for a couple of days and were looking to re purchase more to avoid the...

2 years ago
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Soaked through

This is my first story, its a true story from a few years ago. Please feel free to give me your comments and you enjoy it as much as I did!! I knew she wouldnt be happy that I didnt go and collect her as it was raining so heavy but I was really busy in the house that Id lost track of the time, anyway she had turned 16 the day before so she wanted her Independence. My name is Chris and Im 24 and Im the official guardian of Debbie, whose mum was travelling the world apparently finding herself...

3 years ago
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Optometrist

There is a wonderful word in Yiddish, namely ‘seykhl.’ If you have seykhl, you have common sense, and people with this attribute are always successful in life. Anyone who has ever attended a tenth, twentieth or thirtieth school reunion, could easily attest to this fact.Often, the brainy seniors at school, or college, who excelled academically, end up living a life of financial mediocrity. The guys with seykhl, nonetheless, who are generally regarded as the ones least likely to succeed in the...

Gay Male
2 years ago
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Codename Lumiere Soft Launch Pt 3

CODENAME LUMIÈRE – THE SOFT LAUNCHChapter 03 – The Rules of the AttractionDISCLAIMERI do not own any of the characters on this story, save if they are original characters (OC). They belong to their creators, producers, broadcasters, publishers and distributors, as the works they come from or inspired in way the story written below.I do not have any financial gain through this written piece nor I intend to cash on it. This content is mostly to be seen as a parody work with adult content. I...

2 years ago
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My Boyfriend likes to expose me Part 11

or perhaps it should be called The exhibitionist in denial by Vanessa Evans Part 11 – More humiliation --------------------------------- Impromptu Party --------------------- So there we were one Saturday evening, at home on our own. We’d decided to experiment with a bit of bondage and Ryan had ordered a couple of thing from the internet. Early in the evening Ryan had stripped me and put the ankle cuffs on me and attached them to a spreader bar. He also put wrist cuffs on me and joined...

4 years ago
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Episode 23 18th Birthday Party

This short episode contains no inc*st, no s*x with anim*ls, no explicit und*rage encounters and hopefully nothing to bother the f*cking censors:Hi my name is Timmy; you might remember that Molly and her mum Natalie came to live with us in episode 1. Molly is gorgeous – long dark hair, big blue eyes and tits to die for. Her mum's not bad either, once my dad married her, so she became my step-mum, she would walk around the house half-naked with her bunch of lesbian friends, who didn't seem to...

2 years ago
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Once a Jolly SwagmanChapter 11

Damian, the manager of the cemetery, ended up working with his old team mates on digging, while Angus did the 'hard stuff', until AA referred a bloke onto them. He was a blow-in from the Eastern States who was not interested in going bush, and anything he earned, half of it would go to his ex-wife as child support. At the moment, half of nothing was nothing, yet he wanted some money to go to his child. That came out good for him as his wife was taken to court by one of her ex-lovers who...

2 years ago
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Our Path to Husband Swapping Part 4

When we returned home from our play date with Stacy and Tom where the guys got their dicks sucked. I needed relief so I led Sam upstairs. We quickly took our cloths off. I laid back on the bed spreading my legs, inviting Sam to get to work. I told him that it was my turn now. Sam got between my legs and put his tongue to work. It didn’t take him long before I was grabbing his head and pushing my hips into his face cumming hard. As I caught my breath, I reached over stroked Sam’s Cock. He was...

2 years ago
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Ambassador s DelightsPrologue

Kobekistan{pg}Those readers familiar with the history and geography of Kobekistan can safely skip this prologue. The Emirate of Kobekistan is one of those wonderful places where a visitor feels that they have stepped back into a more leisurely, more dignified era of history, but without sacrificing any of the more useful gadgets of modern civilisation. Air-conditioning protects the inhabitants from the rigours of a sub-tropical climate. Motor cars whisk them from one building to another....

3 years ago
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Unexpected love triangle 4

I arrived at school and saw Douglas sitting down on the bench waiting for me. I smiled and walked towards him. “God, he is so cute,” I thought to myself. He looked up and smiled when he saw me walking towards him. “Hello beautiful.” “Hello yourself,” I said to him, still smiling. He got up and hugged me, kissing me on my forehead. I sighed happily, “This is pure heaven.” “How was your sleep?” Douglas asked me. “Hm? Oh, it was okay. I had a weird dream though…” I said. “A weird dream, what...

3 years ago
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My beginnings the first chapter

As I pulled the curtain back to change I heard him go into the room across from mine. now the changing rooms did not have mirrors but at the end of the short hall was a three sided mirror stand. As I opened the curtain to go check out the fit he was in his stall with his pants off and curtain open. I could not help but notice he did not have any underwear on. I could also tell he was well endowed. My mouth probably dropped to the floor and I immediately got an erection. As I was walked back...

4 years ago
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Pay Back part2

Pay Back, part 2 She made the call for someone to take care of my needs while she was out of commission. Then she told me grab a shower and head to the bedroom she would send her in when she got here. I was excited Susan was no 10 in the eyes of society in general but she turned me on for some reason. It was going to be weird with her being Sugar’s best friend though. I started hoping it not mess up their friendship or Sugar and I’s relationship. I wondered if I made a mistake. Maybe I should...

1 year ago
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ImNotYourMommy Freya Parker Mona Azar A Lucky Lesson On St Patricks Day

Juan Loco is looking for something in the couch when his stepsister Freya Parker gooses him from behind. Juan grabs Freya’s boobs in return. Although she clearly enjoys it, Freya eventually comes back to herself and tells Juan to cut it out and that she only grabbed him because he’s not wearing green. Juan snaps back that St. Patty’s Day isn’t a real holiday and that she’s only using it as an excuse to get Mona Azar, the teacher she has a crush on, to come over to...

xmoviesforyou
2 years ago
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His Infernal Majesty s ServiceChapter 4

It was several hours after dinner. I was running q-tips along the baseboards in my room trying to get every last particle of dirt. TreFual had been teaching me about the service but had fallen quiet several minutes ago. I gave him a glance and he seemed deep in thought. I didn't want to antagonize him so I focused on my work. I felt a slight chill as a wall of golden light passed through me and hit the wall. I watched as little red sparks jumped around in it and danced merrily along the...

3 years ago
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Bathroom Sex With A Babe In Delhi

Hi, this is Samir again with another story. Its about a bathroom sex fantasy which came true with a girl who I met in a night club. For new readers, I am samir, young smart goodlooking and very horny and hot boy from Delhi, im well educated and well placed too. For comments, suggestions and any other things plz email me on Coming to story, in my quite a previous story, I did tell you I met a girl in a night club in Delhi. Well after we had sex, we became friends and used to catch up often. We...

4 years ago
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Inmate 9873 74 a6

I sit there in the court room in shock. Guilty. Guilty of killing a cop, guilty of a crime i didn't comment.I hadn't even got a speeding ticket before. As the cop come in from the back room and grabbed me,hand cuffed me and pulled me into the back room. Out the door and into the truck. As we drive awayfrom the courthouse I think of all the things I'm giving up. My job, my family, my car, everything. Webeen driving for 20 minutes when we pulled up to the prison. Get out the guard said. I stand...

4 years ago
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Me And My Mami

I looked at her eyes. The white in them was smeared with red, as if she was trying not to sleep. She was lying in her bed, eyes half open. She had a sari on. Her pallu was held crumbled in her fist and it was wet with her tears. I was sitting at the foot of her bed. She wasn’t looking at me; she was looking at the bedroom door. I know what she would be thinking. There was a strange look in the eyes, fear and anticipation. She was breathing very lightly. Her crying had ceased.It pained me! The...

4 years ago
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Split Tail on a Soft Tail

My first day out ended early in Alabama. I checked into a motel, unloaded my bike and took a ride along the Gulf Coast. I rode from Mobile to the coast, saw the sights and rode back and put the cycle back on the trailer. This is how I planned to spend every day. Drive, stop, ride. The next morning I had been driving about two hours and I needed a piss break. I pulled into a rest area and parked beside a group of three motorcycles each with a different state plate. I took a leak, got a...

2 years ago
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Sparky s DadChapter 5 Discovery

Eric got back home while Madeleine was doing breakfast preparation. He went up to his own bath to shave. While Madeleine was dealing with Sparky, he recalled the night before. He had thoroughly enjoyed himself. Diane was responsive, beautifully responsive. Moreover, she was a good girl. That business of hiding behind the door when he had already seen all she had was distinctive. He could remember Laura acting that way sometimes even after they were married. And good girls who went to bed with...

2 years ago
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The Doll s House Hotel Chapter Ten Conclusion

The Doll's House Hotel - Chapter Ten By AmyAmy. December 5th, 2005 This story is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters portrayed here to real people living or deceased is entirely coincidental. The author retains all rights to this work, except in allowing that it may be archived and distributed for non-commercial purposes, providing all text remains intact, including this notice. This story deals with 'adult' themes of a highly sexual nature, including...

2 years ago
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Sweet revenge

Officer Logan Keefe surveyed the scene he’d wandered into. The girl was young and completely naked. The older gentleman was standing just behind her, his flaccid penis hanging out the front of his lowered jeans. It was obvious they had just had sex. He checked toward the cab and saw a young man getting ready to jump out of the passenger side of the truck. He’d deal with him first. “Both of you remain where you are,” he instructed the couple. He stepped into the open on the right side of the...

2 years ago
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The Simpsons A Special Family

The sun was shining in Springfield and all seemed right with the world. Marge Simpson stood in her kitchen thinking how nice that the Simpson Family Show was on hiatus the grind on doing "The Simpson Family Show" took its toll on the whole family. Now, it was her chance to let her tall beehive hairdoo down and just be her normal self. It was her plan to finish washing the dishes and with luck she would get a chance to catch some rays in the backyard. "It is so nice to not have to have my...

Incest
2 years ago
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Salamander 2Chapter 34

(Four) The gamble with the gang of boys really had paid off wonderfully. It had meant following them around for a few days to keep them on a short leash, and therefore not gaining anything new on the demon. But it paid off big time. Not only was the big beast bodyguard now out of the picture for a good while, if not permanently, but we had caught some great footage of the target fighting. I was quite surprised the bodyguard survived at all. Usually a HEFW shredded anything it was pointed...

2 years ago
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Glitter

I walked into the darkly glamorous bathroom, a glittering, glistening mess after the last two hours of nonstop dancing. Black glass tile on the walls and floor reflected the white and pink lights recessed in fixtures above, creating a slightly trippy effect. Riding high on the little blue pills from earlier, the lighting felt like electric sparklers skipping down my oversensitive skin. I giggled to the sinks and mirrors, for the moment having the bathroom entirely to myself. My reflection in...

Masturbation
4 years ago
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My last time sitting on daddy s lap

One day while he was watching the hockey game, downing his 7th or 8th beer, he looked sad. So I went to sit on his lap as I had many times in the past. He hadn’t shaved in weeks; his beard was thick and stained yellow with beer. “Hey there, come to catch a game with your old man?” He stroked my long dark-brown hair and smiled. “Who’s winning?” I asked and then leaned against his chest. He hadn’t been wearing a shirt, his hairy chest tickled my cheek a little. His hand moved from my hair to...

4 years ago
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TRISH AND HER PROTEGE

On the appointed day Trish phoned early that morning and asked if she could bring her new protege along. “Half my age, twenty, very pretty and very talented. I think you might both enjoy Honey.” “Okay, but remember our rules, no intercourse, oral sex only, but that leaves lots of options. I had known Trish for some time through our business network, she is a few years older than me, and had confided with her a few times about the sexual liaisons my man and I participate in. Not to be outdone...

2 years ago
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My Freshman Year of college

My first week at university was confusing,frustrating and quite over whelming.I was so lost and very much alone so the student adviser assigned me a upper class man to help me and guide me through the next couple of weeks til I became accustomed to college life, I was told to meet "Sam" in front of the student union monday morning.I arrived dressed in some tight shorts that showed off my tanned legs and a tiny thin top that really highlighted my tiny 32A titties and rock hard pierced nipples,it...

3 years ago
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My journey part 1V

My journey part 1V.Over the coming weeks we continued to experiment with dressing and having good sex but for Matt it was the cross dressing that surprised and delighted him as much as the fucking and sucking did for me.One day Matt told me how he used to get sex whenever he wanted it by going to public toilets and this fascinated me as he described how he first found out almost by accident how some men made contact in these places and some of the things he used to do with other men, whilst I...

2 years ago
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Tradition and Triumph

If I went by accepted popular belief, she was impossible to conquer. She was a South Indian Brahmin. Unsurprisingly she was conservative but she was also intelligent, proud, sharp witted and very beautiful. Srila was attractive in a very Indian way, I guess. She was small at five and a half feet but had magnificent boobs and wide, curvy hips with a lovely unblemished complexion. Her pretty face, jet black hair and glorious smile could summon a second look. She did not look like in the late...

2 years ago
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Little s LifeChapter 6

Pae was just standing there looking out of their cave. "Pae, what is it darling, what has you out of bed so late?" Sarrone asked as he came to his mate's side. "I don't know, love. I just got this feeling. I cannot really describe it. Something big, important is happening," Replied Pae, continuing to look out of the cave. Sarrone learned years ago that when his lovely wife and mate got this feeling He had better be ready for it. However, he needed more to go on. "Love, just relax,...

2 years ago
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A Teachers Day at the Beach

Hardwood Bay is also one of the more secluded beaches but has all of the amenities needed to enjoy the beach. The new surf club is only two years old and the carpark is shaded and close to the beach. The best part is that it is considered a 'locals' beach and the tourists don't seem to come here. It's not the peak season anymore and being a Wednesday I was surprised to see two cars in the car park. I grabbed my towel and beachbag and hopped out of the car. The other two cars had 'P'...

4 years ago
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Office Texting 3

I sit on the couch sipping red wine. I go back through the text strings, again and again, trying to see if there are any more hints, anything else that is going to tell me whether I’m about to get an opportunity I’ve been hoping for, or if I’m going to get a very platonic present and at best a hug. I put the phone down. I’ve reread today’s texts at least a dozen times. Nothing is certain one way or the other, and that isn’t going to change by obsessing anymore. Besides, whatever is about to...

Office Sex
4 years ago
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Mature Porn Queen

Mature Porn Queen By Geekman   I work as a computer repair tech for a major electronics store I also moonlight doing repairs for many of the seniors who live in some of the local adult communities here in southern Jersey. They all like me since I also volunteer at the community center keeping the PC’s running and teaching an occasional computer class. The center allows me to leave my business cards at the desk and they recommend me when someone asks where they can get there...

Mature
4 years ago
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An Unusual Day Part 2

Hi I really enjoyed writing part one, so I finally wrote part 2 of what will be 4 parts. Part 2 reads a little different to part 1, as it was difficult keeping up the more conversational style of writing, I hope you don't find it too jarring. If you much preferred the old style I will try to fashion the third more like it. So please tell me which one you like more. Thank you for reading it and I hope you enjoy. An Unusual Day Part 2. By Swishy There I was standing in my lounge...

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