Jokes and GigglesChapter 80 Happy Easter
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E Is For Easter free porn video
“You gotta catch them all.”
“How many is enough?”
“Whatever fits in your basket.”
As the three of us milled about in the freshly-mowed grass, I surveyed the park filled with hundreds of rambunctious children, and a few determined adults, searching high and low in the trees and bushes for pastel eggs for our town's annual Easter carnival. “Don't you have to find all ten colors to win a prize?”
“Those were the instructions,” Stella replied, lowering a pair of sunglasses from her forehead to her nose, “but you know my kids, Honey. They will eat the candy inside before they get that far.”
“I should have thought about that.” Jacob frowned as he noticed various scavengers pausing to snack on their findings. “My store's team members got so excited about where to distribute the eggs, we didn't consider that stuffing them with chocolate would slow down the hunt.”
“Speaking of hiding,” Stella turned to her left, then to her right, “where are my kids?”
“Probably with your husband,” I said, standing next to her in a shirt dress and ankle boots.
She pointed at the picnic area. “The one sleeping on the bench? I told him to make sure they stay together.” She walked away from us without another word.
“How many does she have in her brood now?” Jacob asked me.
I viewed Stella plucking children of various sizes from the verdant terrain. “More than a handful, fewer than a dozen.”
“So, six? Seven?”
“Approximately.”
“Aren't you their godmother?”
“I remember their names, and when they were born,” I defended. “It does help that both are listed on the cards when I get their birthday invitations in the mail.”
Jacob stuck his thumb in my direction. “Godmother of the year over here.”
“Enough about me. When are you going to find some eggs?”
He stated plainly, “I'm the Easter Bunny. The one who laid them in all the hiding places. Well, I supervised.”
“But if you don't find all the colors, then you won't win a prize.”
“Is this your way of telling me that you want me to bring you some candy?”
I cupped his elbow. “I think it would be fun to explore what the rest of this park has to offer.”
“Together?” He linked his arm in mine. “What sort of prize should I expect?”
I led him towards a dirt path that wound away from the hubbub and into the bushiest section of the forest. “Who knows what sweet treats we'll discover?”
Jacob and I left the clamor of the crowd behind, delving further into the woods.
“Fifteen days,” I said, as we strolled next to each other. The rays of the afternoon sun shined between the leaves of the boughs overhead.
“You've been counting?” Jacob helped me avoid a ditch on the soil in front of us, as we approached a clearing.
“It’s been a while since I spent two straight weeks hanging out with the same person.”
“Best two weeks of my life.”
His words stopped me in my tracks. My boot heels sank an inch into the damp forest floor.
Jacob examined my stoic face for a reaction. “Not yours, though?”
“I'm liking this,” I finally answered. “A lot. It's just not what I thought I would be doing at thirty-six years old.”
“Tramping in the woods on a quest for candy?”
“Dating a younger man.”
Jacob gasped. “Are we dating?”
I groaned at him.
He scooped me into his arms. “Think of it this way: you're not old enough to be my mother.”
“Technically, you are correct.” I looked up into eyes.
“What are you afraid of?” he growled, his London accent spilling out. He maintained his warm embrace, his biceps pressed against my sides, making my skin tingle.
A breeze rustled the cadre of branches above us, while the rest of the forest remained still.
“I can't think of one specific issue.”
Jacob clasped his hands, making a loose fist that rested on the small of my back. The buckle of the belt holding up his cargo pants rubbed against my stomach. “Worried that I'm a bad kisser?”
“I wouldn't know.” I pinched his hips. “You haven't kissed me yet.”
“You haven't asked.”
“Neither have you.”
He sucked in his breath. “I guess we'll never know.”
“Can we both kiss each other and find out?”
He leaned down.
I brought his head closer to mine.
“Yes.” His lips met my nose, then each of my cheeks, then my chin, until Jacob zeroed in on his target.
My lips hungered for his.
We began softly, slowly, tasting each other for the first time.
The air seemed to swirl around us, stirring the wild plants near our toes, but I thought nothing of it.
His palms remained clamped on my lower back.
But my fingers traversed up and down and left and right, through the strands of his floppy black hair, then lower, under the buttoned shirt and the waistband of his boxer briefs, attempting to experience every pore on his tight body.
As I kissed him deeper, I felt his crotch bulge, which caused my wetness to escape my panties and trickle down my trembling thighs.
I felt the earth move under the soles of my feet. I heard the pebbles rattling against each other on the path.
Was it me, or was the ground actually shaking?
Or was it both?
When I spotted the roots of a banyan tree rising from the soil, I jumped back in fright.
This wasn't what I had planned.
“Whew!” Jacob couldn't stop grinning. His cheeks radiated with glee. “That's a lot to take in.”
The leaves above us kept rippling, but the sturdy trunks of the trees slowed their quivers.
“Pretty amazing. Amazing. I need to stop saying 'amazing’.” He noticed my trepidation. “Honey? Did I do something wrong?”
The roots had retreated underground.
Concerned, Jacob waited for my answer.
I wanted to tell him what I witnessed, what I suspected, even though I didn't know how.
“It's not you, it's me,” I declared, not wanting to believe the truth.
“I don't understand.”
Words would not serve what I needed to express.
I tugged his wrists. “Can I kiss you again?”
“Of course! Yes! Now, please.”
I gripped his shoulders. “Keep your eyes open.”
When our lips met, Jacob stared at me, happy yet curious, until the rumbling pulsed throughout the clearing.
Holding him, our tongues dancing, it felt so good I didn't want to stop.
But once, the trees surrounding us convulsed so fiercely that the scores of birds in their boughs were jettisoned into flight, squawking as they escaped skyward.
This time it was Jacob who bounded backward, bewildered by the agitated flora and fauna that were settling into their previous innocuous states.
“What is happening, Honey?” he wheezed.
“Do you really want to know?”
He nodded, gulping air into his lungs.
“Then let's get out of here.” Our fingers intertwined, I retraced our steps back to the carnival. “All this nature is getting to me.”
Jacob followed swiftly behind. “My apartment is a couple blocks from here.”
..........
When we arrived at his place, Jacob locked the door behind and peered through the peephole.
I set my purse on his side table. “Think a plumeria bush followed you home?”
He removed his trainers on the doormat. Then he put his hands on his hips. “So I'm dating a witch.”
I took off my boots, faced him, and matched his stance. “In the broadest terms.”
“Narrow it for me.”
“Can I sit first?”
He guided me to the living room couch. We reclined on the firm cushions side by side.
“I don't wear a pointy hat or own a black cat or cast spells in a cauldron.”
“Okay?”
“I do have a magic wand, but it's a back massager. It lifts my spirit, but it doesn't cause objects to levitate.”
Jacob's lips relaxed into a smile. “A back massager?”
“We will get to that later.”
“We certainly will.”
I curled my socked feet onto the couch. “I have a connection to natural objects, simple living organisms, molecular phenomena like wind and rain. It is a power I don't fully understand.
“Sounds like animism,” he postulated. “You summon the souls existing in nature.”
“That's deeper than I'd like to imagine.”
“When did this start? When you were a teenager, like the other famous witches?”
“It has burgeoned inside me for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I didn't pay attention to the signs, and I actively ignored them during university. But with each birthday in adulthood, my power has heightened.”
“Can you control it?”
“I could, once.” The memories flooded my mind, and not all of them were comforting. “I thought it would wear off, so I could live as a normal human.”
Jacob wiped away the tears I hadn't realized were cascading down my cheek. “Normal is overrated. Plus, our town is weirdo central. No one would notice or care.”
“I care. You practically leaped out of your skin when the forest came to life.”
He dabbed at my eyelids. “The shaking startled me, but I'm not going anywhere. I want to help. Tell me how.”
“Eventually, I will figure out how. For now, being here with you is nice. No pizza boxes on the floor, no dishes stuck to the TV. No roommate?”
“Only me. I take responsibility for all visible messes.” He drew my curvy body into his lap. “I agree. This is nice. Hey.”
“Hello.”
He angled his lips towards mine, then remembered our outdoor encounter. “Natural objects? Does that include furniture made out of wood? If I kiss you, will my dining room table turn into a tornado?”
“The closer to nature the object is, the more effect I have. So unless your table needs to be watered to stay alive--”
“Either way, I'd risk it. I want more of you.”
“Before we go further, we should talk about… wellness.”
“Making sure we are both healthy.” Jacob slid his phone from his front pocket. “We could go get checked out tomorrow after work?”
“That would be great.”
“Until then, let's get back to snogging.”
“Hold on.” I extracted myself from his comfort. “Besides the physical aspects of this...”
“Our relationship? You can say the word out loud.”
“I thought you kids were in ‘situationships’ these days.”
“I'm really not that young. I'm old enough to have a Ph.D. I don't, to my parents’ dismay.”
I patted the skirt of my dress over my brown thighs. “I'm not in a situation with anyone else at the moment. Are you?”
“Unless you count my job as my lustful mistress, I haven't been with anyone in a couple years. I haven't wanted to be. Until I saw you two weeks ago. What's your next question?”
I took a clarifying inhale. “If our relationship--”
“Yes?”
“--is going to be something--”
“It already is something.”
I put my palm on Jacob's chest to quiet his interruptions. “Then I don't want to rush this.”
“Then no snogging?”
“Yes to snogging. No to your penis in my vagina. Or my other orifices. No fluid bonding. For a period of time after we get tested on Monday.”
“How long?”
“Ninety days.”
“Ninety days!” he shouted, trying to keep a straight face. “How could I possibly prevent my penis from entering your vagina for three months? Ludicrous!”
I rolled my eyes at his sarcasm. “All right, dude.”
“Are there really blokes who can't wait that long?”
“Really really.”
“Wankers.”
“Subsequently, yes, they are.”
“Were I a more devious lad,” he intoned, crossing his ankles, “I would request that start the clock retroactively from our first dinner.”
I stared at him silently.
“No bother.” Jacob waved off his suggestion. “I am going to plan a dalliance for that final day that will blow your mind. Oh! Another question.”
“You seem quite happy.”
“Honey, you don't even know.” He rubbed his hands together. “I'm a natural object.”
“That's not how I would describe you, but go on.”
“Do you have power over me? Of course you do, obviously, but physical power?”
“Complex organisms, anything above amoeba level, require more skill than I currently have.”
“What if you practiced?” Jacob was invigorated by the possibilities developing in his brain. “What if I were your coach?” He bounced his heels on the living room floor. “I could be your test subject!”
Since I was seated on the same cushion, the jostling combined with his enthusiasm was overwhelming. I ran my hand along his arm to calm him. “We will get there.”
Subdued, he asked, “What time is it? Are you hungry?”
“I will be soon. At the moment, I'd rather learn more about you.”
“What would you like to know?”
Could I actually vocalize my request?
I had to whisper it in his ear. “What you sound like when you cum.”
His jaw dropped. “Honey!”
“Will you teach me?”
“Ladies first.”
“But you already know…”
A mischievous smirk appeared on his face.
Oops.
“I want to see you,” Jacob undid the top button of my shirt dress. “We can help each other.”
“Let's wash our hands.”
“Brilliant.”
He led me to the kitchen sink, spread soap on our fingers, and switched on the warm water. He cleansed our skin, bubbles frothing under the stream. Once our hands were clean, he toweled them off. Then he nibbled my fingertips.
I led him back to the couch, where we continued unbuttoning each other’s outfits. When we got down to our socks and underwear, I gazed at his taut tummy. My arms instinctively folded in front of the modest rolls of my stomach.
Undeterred, Jacob slid his warm hands across my back, under my soaked panties, over my full hips, luxuriating in the squishy belly that I was trying to hide. “Gorgeous,” he assessed.
Feeling more confident, I dragged his boxer briefs off his hairy legs. His uncircumcised shaft rose to the occasion, framed by a set of balls that I had to touch.
“Impressive.” I fingered the sensitive skin, which sent a shiver through Jacob’s body.
“Keep doing that, and I’ll spray all over you. I should get a condom.”
I reached into my purse. “Like a good scout, I came prepared.”
Jacob rolled the latex onto his dick. “Perfect fit.” He removed my cotton panties. He petted my soft fur. Then he dipped a fingertip into my slit and rubbed with wetness onto my swollen clit.
I leaned back, balancing my hands on the couch and spread my legs wider, urging him further inside me.
With his left hand, he unhooked my bra and wriggled it off my arms, without ceasing his ministrations on my pulsing pussy.
I scooted closer, intending to give his balls a good rubbing.
But he caught my wrist.
“I’m close,” he explained, his finger dipping deeper, “and I want us to get there together.”
“Yes,” I stammered as my thighs trembled.
He rubbed the juices on my left nipple, then my right nipple.
Then he gave them each a lick.
I moaned, “Pinch my nipples, Jacob. Please?”
He pinched one.
Then he sucked the other.
“Ohhh.” I was close.
Jacob could tell. He wrapped my right hand around his rigid cock, while he kept on swirling toward my G-spot and giving my titties a thorough sucking.
Back arched, tits to the sky, hips pumping hard, my pussy leaking all over Jacob’s couch, I grunted, “Almost there.” I jerked his sinewy member, the veins straining through the lubricated condom.
I noticed his brow furrowed in concentration. He struggled to restrain his explosion, determined to make me erupt all over his face. Realizing that Jacob was holding himself back for me, for my pleasure, set off an orgasmic wave in my fiery depths that knocked his cock out of my shaky hand.
I fell back onto a throw pillow, and a brief but powerful squirt escaped my pussy lips.
“Cor!” he exclaimed, droplets of my wet trickling from his nose to his mustache and beard.
“Please cum,” I begged. My limbs wobbled from exhaustion. “I need to see you cum.”
He lay down across from me, our sticky legs entangled.
I looked up to watch him double-fist his engorged brown flesh.
He didn’t take his eyes off me.
I crawled forward, cupped his balls, and thumbed the base of his shaft.
That did it.
“Oh God, Honey!”
Jacob’s body jerked. He let out a protracted wail.
With my free hand, I gave my throbbing clit a quick Vulcan salute and had a nice second cum, wailing along with him.
Wow.
Sprawled on the damp cushions, Jacob made no attempt to move from his state of sweaty bliss. “Come here.” He tossed a few pillows on the floor to make room for me.
I squirmed into the crook of his arm. My ear rested on hirsute pectoral muscles. I inhaled the mingling scents created by our sweet satisfaction.
He stroked my thick legs. “Confession: I wasn't confident I could make it all ninety days without a cold shower every night. But, if this is how we'll be spending the next three months,” he squeezed my moist flesh, “I can muster the energy to survive.”
I listened to his heart pounding inside his chest. “How kind.”
“And,” he continued, caressing my bare bum, “I will use that energy to make it worth your while as well.” His digits sank lower, fingertips passing by my crack and nearing my lower lips. “If that is something you would be interested in. Would you like that, Honey?”
I rotated my hips to let Jacob return to his previous exploration of my nether regions. Then I placed his left hand on my naked breast, my hard nipple aching for a rub. “Yes, Jacob. Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, Jacob.”
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