Anna and Sam Chapter 5
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Anna And Sam. Chapter 4 free porn video
"That's fine," she replied and entered fully, closing... and locking, the door behind her. I stood in front of her and turned, first left then right so she would get the full effect of the beautiful blue and black lingerie from all angles.
"If I may," she said before stepping forward.
She adjusted the straps of the bra then ran her fingers around the sides and cups to check for fit. The touch of her fingertips as they brushed past my nipples was electrifying and sent an almost imperceptible shiver right through me which caused me to tingle inside!
"Oh, I'm sorry." I must have released the gasp which I thought was only in my head.
"No, no, it's fine," I told her.
In fact, it was more than fine. I was getting really turned on. Next, she adjusted my pants, pulling slightly and running her fingers along the waistband. As she passed over my belly the sensations were wonderful and... I was getting wet!
I closed my eyes momentarily and when I opened them, her face was suddenly right in front of mine.
"It looks fantastic on you," she whispered, looking directly into my eyes and a feint smile playing on her lips.
Her head tilted to one side and her dark red lips moved slowly towards mine. My nostrils were full of her scent as I stood perfectly still until I felt the soft flesh contact my mouth so very gently and closed my eyes.
I accepted her kiss and responded by placing my right hand on the back of her head. Her mouth opened slowly as my tongue pushed against her lips and past her teeth until our tongues met and I felt her hand slip down my stomach and inside the waistband of my panties until it found the smooth, wet slit of my pussy. Once there her finger found its way between my lips and sought out the hard nub of my clitoris.
The sensations that were flowing through me were indescribable as her finger pressed against it then made small circles around it. Up and down she went, over it, around it and even pinching it between her fingers. I pressed harder against her mouth and I rubbed myself up against her as I pulled her to me. Slowly, painfully slowly, her fingers moved towards my entrance and then, with her second finger, eased her way inside.
I pressed my lips harder against hers and tilted my hips toward her, pulling her tightly against me and trapping her hand between us whilst her finger explored my innermost recesses, and I rubbed, almost catlike, against her body.
As the sensations built up inside me I could not release her mouth but still mewed with pleasure as we kissed and then... it was upon me. Wave after wave of ecstasy flooded through me and my legs felt as though they could no longer support me. I did not cry out but clamped hard on her mouth and squeezed her body as if to crush the very life from her.
When the feeling subsided she released me. I went to speak, but she placed a beautifully manicured finger on my lips. She turned, unlocked and opened the door then turned back to me.
"Perfect," she said.
I went to reply, 'What, the lingerie?' but she was gone.
I took a deep breath. "Wow" I thought, "I didn't expect that!" and looked again in the mirror.
I appeared just the same as before except a little flushed and a huge smile. That was just what I had needed to bring me back to my senses, maybe now I could think straight. I took off the beautiful blue underwear and reaching into my bag, took out a packet of wipes. Before replacing the panties on the hanger I carefully wiped the plastic protection strip then wiped myself clean. Finally I took out my body spray and freshened myself.
I dressed carefully and checked that all was correct before collecting my bag and purchases, unlocking the door and heading to the sales counter. The same assistant was behind the counter and as I approached, a little nervously, she smiled pleasantly and took the items from me.
"A good choice, madam, if I may say."
"Yes, thank you," I replied. It was as if nothing had happened, " and thank you for your help," I ventured.
"You are very welcome," she smiled and I saw a twinkle in her beautiful blue eyes, "I hope you will come again."
"I hope so," I replied, took my items and left.
I checked my watch, still not even eleven! Now what? Coffee! Always a good stimulant, so I headed for my favourite coffee shop, at least I could kill time there over a drink. What I would do I didn't know but at least it was something.
The shop was only a couple of minutes away and, once inside, I ordered a strong coffee then found a comfortable sofa, put my cup on the low table and sat back to relax. As I looked around the shop, I saw people who seemed content in their worlds. Some were chatting and others reading and a couple had laptops. All were as oblivious to my worries as I was to theirs. I sat for some time just thinking and after a short time I leaned forward for my coffee and drank. Ugh, stone cold! I looked at my watch. Goodness! I had sat for just over an hour completely lost in my thoughts. What on earth was happening to me?
I needed to see Sam, I had to understand what I was feeling. I felt so strongly towards her and yet still loved my husband. Was this just a phase? Lust perhaps? No. Lust was the shop assistant. She fulfilled a need. Would like it to happen again? Yes but it didn't matter if it didn't. Sam, on the other hand, was different.
It couldn't be love... could it? I had only known her a day and yet there was chemistry. I really enjoyed her company, we had talked for hours and then we had made love. The feeling was different and I was truly sad when she wasn't there when I awoke. I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing her again. The thoughts were whirling around in my head, spinning and repeating over and over. Questions. Questions without answers.
I looked again at the time again. Had my watch stopped. I checked the clock on the wall. No, my watched hadn't stopped and my head was beginning to hurt. I finished the cold coffee, I needed the caffeine, and headed back to the mall. I began to wish I had not met her, I could have continued my life as it was, uncomplicated, but I had met her though and I was glad I had met her. Even if I never saw her again, and that would hurt like hell, I had experienced something special.
"Oh please," I told myself, "Just stop thinking!"
But I couldn't stop and my head was pounding now and my temples were throbbing, I had to do something.
Back in the mall I window shopped but it didn't help. I looked at clothes, house wares, toys but saw nothing and all I heard was my own voice full of doubts and fears but, after what seemed an eternity it was time to meet her. I was a nervous wreck now, convinced it was over. Sam would realise she had made a mistake and that she only really liked men, so that would be it then, 'Hi, Anna, Goodbye Anna.' I felt sick. And then, she was there.
"Hi, Anna."
"Sam," I whispered. My mouth and throat so dry I could hardly speak.
"Are you Okay?" she asked.
"Truth?"
"Yes," she said.
"Then no, I am not."
"I can't wait any longer," I told her. "I need to talk... Now!"
I pulled her into a quiet alley. "Sam, I'm sorry," I said to her, once out of earshot of the passing shoppers, "I really need to know about us."
"I know, Anna. I am sorry too. I didn't know what to do last night so I ran. I feel really bad for upsetting you."
I gazed into her beautiful eyes as she continued, "I told you I had never been with a woman before and that is true. I always felt that sex with another woman was wrong and weird but still I did it. You made me feel so good last night, so wanted, that I thought I had fallen in love with you but as I lay there, thinking about what had happened I began to doubt myself. I thought there was something wrong with me and I had to get away."
She paused, seeing the look of horror on my face. My eyes were beginning to fill and my heart was breaking.
"Oh, Anna, no, it's all right, honestly it is."
She took my face in her hands and stared into my eyes. "I don't feel that way now. I have had time to think."
I looked back at her, silently pleading with her not to leave me. "I cannot say I love you, Anna, because I do not know but I do know that you made me happy and that cannot be wrong, can it?"
I put my arms around her waist and held her so tightly. She did the same.
"No, Sam," I told her, "It can't."
I paused and looked deep into her eyes, "I admit I was very upset when I found you gone but I agree with you. How can we know if it is love. I have never had such intense feelings and it scared me. I didn't even feel that with my husband! I do know one thing though, Sam, I don't want us to part just yet. I want to get to know you, to know us. I understand if you don't feel the same..." I stopped and let my gaze fall from her face.
Still holding my face in her hands, she lifted my head and said, "Anna. I do feel that way. What we did last night was far too wonderful to just ignore. I want you so much it hurts. I don't know what will happen in the future but I too want to see where it takes us," and with that she kissed me gently on the lips.
I was so happy at that moment that my smile could have lit a whole town. Together we walked on to the station. I suddenly grabbed her hand and squeezed it.
“Sam, I don’t want to go home yet. Can we stay here a while?”
“I am supposed to be on the 15.03,” she answered, “but I have nothing to go back to so I suppose I could stay”.
I squeezed her hand again and smiled at her. “What about your husband?”
It was as though a great cloud had been drawn across the sun, even though there was no sun, just a dark, grey winter sky.
“Hmm, Husband,” I said, eventually. I felt kind of sick. As though my stomach had just fallen into my feet. “I need to think, Sam. Am I expecting too much, too soon?”
“Anna, This is as much a shock to me as it is to you. After all, it was you who seduced me. I never saw this coming. I am single, with no-one else to consider. How can I possibly advise you?”
I felt as though she had just slapped me. Was she blaming me for causing her problems?
“Sam!” I looked at her, hurting, “I didn’t ask for this to happen!”
“Oh! I’m sorry Anna! I didn’t mean it sound as if I was angry with you. I just meant that I am not in a position to give any kind of advice. I never even thought that this could happen to me in a million years. I always liked men, never even so much as looked at a woman. I have thought about nothing else since I left you last night. I haven’t slept at all and I am so tired but the only thing I am definitely sure of is that I do not regret a single second of meeting you and I don’t want it to end. Not now, not like this. I want to know, will we be just friends or will this feeling get even stronger than it is now? I don’t know, Anna, I really just don’t know.”
As she spoke the tears welled in her eyes. “I am scared, Anna,” she sobbed, “Really frightened.”
We sat on a nearby bench and I held her tight as she cried. As her body shook my heart broke. It was all my fault. Why hadn’t I just left her alone! Why had I let my sexual desire cause so much trouble. I had a husband to consider, what would this do to him? I didn’t love him any less but this had changed things, I couldn’t be in love with two people... could I? And Sam, what about her. I had changed her life forever and it had been a massive shock for her. I didn’t know what to do now. We couldn’t go back. What was done was done and now it was up to me to deal with it. I had to take responsibility for everything and I didn’t know how.
“Sam,” I spoke gently. She looked up at me and again, my heart broke. Her face was a picture of misery and love. I could see she trusted me and I could not let her down. Lines of black mascara streaked down her wet cheeks and at that moment I knew for sure… I was in love with her.
“Sam,” I said again, “It’s Okay. You will be fine, We will be fine. I promise. I will not let you down. I do not know what the future brings but whatever happens I will be here for you.”
“ Thank you, Anna,” she replied between sobs, “I... I love you.”
“No, Sam, don’t say that! Wait until you have had time to understand all this and then, if you still feel that way you can tell me as often as you like but for now...” and again I pulled her to me and held her so tightly I could have crushed her.
After a short time she had recovered her composure. I looked into her eyes, “Come on,” I said, “let’s get you cleaned up,” and kissed her gently on her sweet little nose. She smiled and nodded.
I took a wipe from a packet I kept in my handbag and tenderly wiped the streaks away from her face. A face that, now devoid of make-up, was so vulnerable that I could see the fear in her eyes. Standing, we went together to a department store where I knew there would be a disabled toilet and we went in together.
The toilet also had a baby changing facility with a mirror which was ideal as a makeshift dressing table. Sam emptied the contents of her handbag onto the table and began to reapply her foundation, blusher, eyeliner and mascara and soon she was looking her old self.
A tune began to play, a tune I did not recognise. Her mobile ring tone. She picked it up and looked at the screen, swiped her finger across the screen then held it to her ear.
“Hi Mum,” her voice quivered. “Yes, I am fine, you?”
Her bottom lip was beginning to tremble and again my heart sank. What had I done to this poor girl?
“That’s good,” a pause, “Yes, I will be home later tonight. No really, I am fine. Just a little tired. It’s been a hard couple of days.” She looked across at me, her eyes filling again and pleading with me, “Mum, yes, Mum, I’m sorry, I have to go. I will call you tonight when I am home. Yes, okay, I love you too. Bye… bye, bye”.
She put the phone slowly down on the table and stared at it, then, looking to me, said, “What will I say to her? She won’t understand. She is a strong Christian. She will hate me!”
This time it was my eyes that began to fill. “I am sorry, Sam. Truly I am. I wish I had never started all this.”
“Do you Anna? Do really wish we had not made love?”
“No, I don’t, I don’t wish that at all. I wish it could have been better for you though, I understand about all this. Although it is fairly new to me, It wasn’t such a shock as it was for you. Your Mum won’t hate you, she may not understand but you are her daughter, she loves you. I could tell that from how you spoke with her. She may not even agree with it, with us, but she won’t turn against you, I am certain.”
“I am her little girl, Anna. She wants grandchildren, wants to see me married and settle down with a family.”
This time, I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t say everything would be fine. It wasn’t. Everything had become so unclear, her plans, her dreams, were dashed.
My organised, ordered life was also wrecked. I had no children but my husband, Philip, what would he say? What would he do? We had been together for twenty three years. My head was spinning. I stepped towards her and put my hands on her arms.
“I don’t know what to tell you, Sam, except that I have messed up both our lives. I am not sorry for what we have done but I am sorry for all the hurt I have caused and may yet cause. The only promise I can make is that when you need me I will be here for you and if you decide that you do not want me, then I will respect that too and not cause any further trouble for you. I ask only one thing of you, Sam.”
“What’s that, Anna?”
“Honesty, Sam. Please be truthful with me. If you decide to go, I can live with that but if you just go without telling me, It will be too much to bear.”
“I promise, Anna. I couldn’t hurt you.”
We finished tidying ourselves and left the toilet. Outside, on the sales floor, Sam looked at me and said,
“Anna, I don’t want you to misunderstand me but I need to go home, now, alone.”
“Are you having second thoughts?” I asked, panicking.
“No but I need to think. I need to get myself together and work out what to do next.”
“Sam, you will be okay, won’t you?” I was a little scared now. “You won’t do anything silly?”
She saw the worry in my face. “No, Anna. I’ll be fine.” She smiled. A small but sincere smile. “I will call you, I promise.”
We held each other close for a few moments, then kissed. Sam turned and walked away without a backward glance. I stared after her and watched her walk become a run as she disappeared out of sight and I wondered then, would I ever see her again?
"If I may," she said before stepping forward.
She adjusted the straps of the bra then ran her fingers around the sides and cups to check for fit. The touch of her fingertips as they brushed past my nipples was electrifying and sent an almost imperceptible shiver right through me which caused me to tingle inside!
"Oh, I'm sorry." I must have released the gasp which I thought was only in my head.
"No, no, it's fine," I told her.
In fact, it was more than fine. I was getting really turned on. Next, she adjusted my pants, pulling slightly and running her fingers along the waistband. As she passed over my belly the sensations were wonderful and... I was getting wet!
I closed my eyes momentarily and when I opened them, her face was suddenly right in front of mine.
"It looks fantastic on you," she whispered, looking directly into my eyes and a feint smile playing on her lips.
Her head tilted to one side and her dark red lips moved slowly towards mine. My nostrils were full of her scent as I stood perfectly still until I felt the soft flesh contact my mouth so very gently and closed my eyes.
I accepted her kiss and responded by placing my right hand on the back of her head. Her mouth opened slowly as my tongue pushed against her lips and past her teeth until our tongues met and I felt her hand slip down my stomach and inside the waistband of my panties until it found the smooth, wet slit of my pussy. Once there her finger found its way between my lips and sought out the hard nub of my clitoris.
The sensations that were flowing through me were indescribable as her finger pressed against it then made small circles around it. Up and down she went, over it, around it and even pinching it between her fingers. I pressed harder against her mouth and I rubbed myself up against her as I pulled her to me. Slowly, painfully slowly, her fingers moved towards my entrance and then, with her second finger, eased her way inside.
I pressed my lips harder against hers and tilted my hips toward her, pulling her tightly against me and trapping her hand between us whilst her finger explored my innermost recesses, and I rubbed, almost catlike, against her body.
As the sensations built up inside me I could not release her mouth but still mewed with pleasure as we kissed and then... it was upon me. Wave after wave of ecstasy flooded through me and my legs felt as though they could no longer support me. I did not cry out but clamped hard on her mouth and squeezed her body as if to crush the very life from her.
When the feeling subsided she released me. I went to speak, but she placed a beautifully manicured finger on my lips. She turned, unlocked and opened the door then turned back to me.
"Perfect," she said.
I went to reply, 'What, the lingerie?' but she was gone.
I took a deep breath. "Wow" I thought, "I didn't expect that!" and looked again in the mirror.
I appeared just the same as before except a little flushed and a huge smile. That was just what I had needed to bring me back to my senses, maybe now I could think straight. I took off the beautiful blue underwear and reaching into my bag, took out a packet of wipes. Before replacing the panties on the hanger I carefully wiped the plastic protection strip then wiped myself clean. Finally I took out my body spray and freshened myself.
I dressed carefully and checked that all was correct before collecting my bag and purchases, unlocking the door and heading to the sales counter. The same assistant was behind the counter and as I approached, a little nervously, she smiled pleasantly and took the items from me.
"A good choice, madam, if I may say."
"Yes, thank you," I replied. It was as if nothing had happened, " and thank you for your help," I ventured.
"You are very welcome," she smiled and I saw a twinkle in her beautiful blue eyes, "I hope you will come again."
"I hope so," I replied, took my items and left.
I checked my watch, still not even eleven! Now what? Coffee! Always a good stimulant, so I headed for my favourite coffee shop, at least I could kill time there over a drink. What I would do I didn't know but at least it was something.
The shop was only a couple of minutes away and, once inside, I ordered a strong coffee then found a comfortable sofa, put my cup on the low table and sat back to relax. As I looked around the shop, I saw people who seemed content in their worlds. Some were chatting and others reading and a couple had laptops. All were as oblivious to my worries as I was to theirs. I sat for some time just thinking and after a short time I leaned forward for my coffee and drank. Ugh, stone cold! I looked at my watch. Goodness! I had sat for just over an hour completely lost in my thoughts. What on earth was happening to me?
I needed to see Sam, I had to understand what I was feeling. I felt so strongly towards her and yet still loved my husband. Was this just a phase? Lust perhaps? No. Lust was the shop assistant. She fulfilled a need. Would like it to happen again? Yes but it didn't matter if it didn't. Sam, on the other hand, was different.
It couldn't be love... could it? I had only known her a day and yet there was chemistry. I really enjoyed her company, we had talked for hours and then we had made love. The feeling was different and I was truly sad when she wasn't there when I awoke. I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing her again. The thoughts were whirling around in my head, spinning and repeating over and over. Questions. Questions without answers.
I looked again at the time again. Had my watch stopped. I checked the clock on the wall. No, my watched hadn't stopped and my head was beginning to hurt. I finished the cold coffee, I needed the caffeine, and headed back to the mall. I began to wish I had not met her, I could have continued my life as it was, uncomplicated, but I had met her though and I was glad I had met her. Even if I never saw her again, and that would hurt like hell, I had experienced something special.
"Oh please," I told myself, "Just stop thinking!"
But I couldn't stop and my head was pounding now and my temples were throbbing, I had to do something.
Back in the mall I window shopped but it didn't help. I looked at clothes, house wares, toys but saw nothing and all I heard was my own voice full of doubts and fears but, after what seemed an eternity it was time to meet her. I was a nervous wreck now, convinced it was over. Sam would realise she had made a mistake and that she only really liked men, so that would be it then, 'Hi, Anna, Goodbye Anna.' I felt sick. And then, she was there.
"Hi, Anna."
"Sam," I whispered. My mouth and throat so dry I could hardly speak.
"Are you Okay?" she asked.
"Truth?"
"Yes," she said.
"Then no, I am not."
"I can't wait any longer," I told her. "I need to talk... Now!"
I pulled her into a quiet alley. "Sam, I'm sorry," I said to her, once out of earshot of the passing shoppers, "I really need to know about us."
"I know, Anna. I am sorry too. I didn't know what to do last night so I ran. I feel really bad for upsetting you."
I gazed into her beautiful eyes as she continued, "I told you I had never been with a woman before and that is true. I always felt that sex with another woman was wrong and weird but still I did it. You made me feel so good last night, so wanted, that I thought I had fallen in love with you but as I lay there, thinking about what had happened I began to doubt myself. I thought there was something wrong with me and I had to get away."
She paused, seeing the look of horror on my face. My eyes were beginning to fill and my heart was breaking.
"Oh, Anna, no, it's all right, honestly it is."
She took my face in her hands and stared into my eyes. "I don't feel that way now. I have had time to think."
I looked back at her, silently pleading with her not to leave me. "I cannot say I love you, Anna, because I do not know but I do know that you made me happy and that cannot be wrong, can it?"
I put my arms around her waist and held her so tightly. She did the same.
"No, Sam," I told her, "It can't."
I paused and looked deep into her eyes, "I admit I was very upset when I found you gone but I agree with you. How can we know if it is love. I have never had such intense feelings and it scared me. I didn't even feel that with my husband! I do know one thing though, Sam, I don't want us to part just yet. I want to get to know you, to know us. I understand if you don't feel the same..." I stopped and let my gaze fall from her face.
Still holding my face in her hands, she lifted my head and said, "Anna. I do feel that way. What we did last night was far too wonderful to just ignore. I want you so much it hurts. I don't know what will happen in the future but I too want to see where it takes us," and with that she kissed me gently on the lips.
I was so happy at that moment that my smile could have lit a whole town. Together we walked on to the station. I suddenly grabbed her hand and squeezed it.
“Sam, I don’t want to go home yet. Can we stay here a while?”
“I am supposed to be on the 15.03,” she answered, “but I have nothing to go back to so I suppose I could stay”.
I squeezed her hand again and smiled at her. “What about your husband?”
It was as though a great cloud had been drawn across the sun, even though there was no sun, just a dark, grey winter sky.
“Hmm, Husband,” I said, eventually. I felt kind of sick. As though my stomach had just fallen into my feet. “I need to think, Sam. Am I expecting too much, too soon?”
“Anna, This is as much a shock to me as it is to you. After all, it was you who seduced me. I never saw this coming. I am single, with no-one else to consider. How can I possibly advise you?”
I felt as though she had just slapped me. Was she blaming me for causing her problems?
“Sam!” I looked at her, hurting, “I didn’t ask for this to happen!”
“Oh! I’m sorry Anna! I didn’t mean it sound as if I was angry with you. I just meant that I am not in a position to give any kind of advice. I never even thought that this could happen to me in a million years. I always liked men, never even so much as looked at a woman. I have thought about nothing else since I left you last night. I haven’t slept at all and I am so tired but the only thing I am definitely sure of is that I do not regret a single second of meeting you and I don’t want it to end. Not now, not like this. I want to know, will we be just friends or will this feeling get even stronger than it is now? I don’t know, Anna, I really just don’t know.”
As she spoke the tears welled in her eyes. “I am scared, Anna,” she sobbed, “Really frightened.”
We sat on a nearby bench and I held her tight as she cried. As her body shook my heart broke. It was all my fault. Why hadn’t I just left her alone! Why had I let my sexual desire cause so much trouble. I had a husband to consider, what would this do to him? I didn’t love him any less but this had changed things, I couldn’t be in love with two people... could I? And Sam, what about her. I had changed her life forever and it had been a massive shock for her. I didn’t know what to do now. We couldn’t go back. What was done was done and now it was up to me to deal with it. I had to take responsibility for everything and I didn’t know how.
“Sam,” I spoke gently. She looked up at me and again, my heart broke. Her face was a picture of misery and love. I could see she trusted me and I could not let her down. Lines of black mascara streaked down her wet cheeks and at that moment I knew for sure… I was in love with her.
“Sam,” I said again, “It’s Okay. You will be fine, We will be fine. I promise. I will not let you down. I do not know what the future brings but whatever happens I will be here for you.”
“ Thank you, Anna,” she replied between sobs, “I... I love you.”
“No, Sam, don’t say that! Wait until you have had time to understand all this and then, if you still feel that way you can tell me as often as you like but for now...” and again I pulled her to me and held her so tightly I could have crushed her.
After a short time she had recovered her composure. I looked into her eyes, “Come on,” I said, “let’s get you cleaned up,” and kissed her gently on her sweet little nose. She smiled and nodded.
I took a wipe from a packet I kept in my handbag and tenderly wiped the streaks away from her face. A face that, now devoid of make-up, was so vulnerable that I could see the fear in her eyes. Standing, we went together to a department store where I knew there would be a disabled toilet and we went in together.
The toilet also had a baby changing facility with a mirror which was ideal as a makeshift dressing table. Sam emptied the contents of her handbag onto the table and began to reapply her foundation, blusher, eyeliner and mascara and soon she was looking her old self.
A tune began to play, a tune I did not recognise. Her mobile ring tone. She picked it up and looked at the screen, swiped her finger across the screen then held it to her ear.
“Hi Mum,” her voice quivered. “Yes, I am fine, you?”
Her bottom lip was beginning to tremble and again my heart sank. What had I done to this poor girl?
“That’s good,” a pause, “Yes, I will be home later tonight. No really, I am fine. Just a little tired. It’s been a hard couple of days.” She looked across at me, her eyes filling again and pleading with me, “Mum, yes, Mum, I’m sorry, I have to go. I will call you tonight when I am home. Yes, okay, I love you too. Bye… bye, bye”.
She put the phone slowly down on the table and stared at it, then, looking to me, said, “What will I say to her? She won’t understand. She is a strong Christian. She will hate me!”
This time it was my eyes that began to fill. “I am sorry, Sam. Truly I am. I wish I had never started all this.”
“Do you Anna? Do really wish we had not made love?”
“No, I don’t, I don’t wish that at all. I wish it could have been better for you though, I understand about all this. Although it is fairly new to me, It wasn’t such a shock as it was for you. Your Mum won’t hate you, she may not understand but you are her daughter, she loves you. I could tell that from how you spoke with her. She may not even agree with it, with us, but she won’t turn against you, I am certain.”
“I am her little girl, Anna. She wants grandchildren, wants to see me married and settle down with a family.”
This time, I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t say everything would be fine. It wasn’t. Everything had become so unclear, her plans, her dreams, were dashed.
My organised, ordered life was also wrecked. I had no children but my husband, Philip, what would he say? What would he do? We had been together for twenty three years. My head was spinning. I stepped towards her and put my hands on her arms.
“I don’t know what to tell you, Sam, except that I have messed up both our lives. I am not sorry for what we have done but I am sorry for all the hurt I have caused and may yet cause. The only promise I can make is that when you need me I will be here for you and if you decide that you do not want me, then I will respect that too and not cause any further trouble for you. I ask only one thing of you, Sam.”
“What’s that, Anna?”
“Honesty, Sam. Please be truthful with me. If you decide to go, I can live with that but if you just go without telling me, It will be too much to bear.”
“I promise, Anna. I couldn’t hurt you.”
We finished tidying ourselves and left the toilet. Outside, on the sales floor, Sam looked at me and said,
“Anna, I don’t want you to misunderstand me but I need to go home, now, alone.”
“Are you having second thoughts?” I asked, panicking.
“No but I need to think. I need to get myself together and work out what to do next.”
“Sam, you will be okay, won’t you?” I was a little scared now. “You won’t do anything silly?”
She saw the worry in my face. “No, Anna. I’ll be fine.” She smiled. A small but sincere smile. “I will call you, I promise.”
We held each other close for a few moments, then kissed. Sam turned and walked away without a backward glance. I stared after her and watched her walk become a run as she disappeared out of sight and I wondered then, would I ever see her again?
Latisha
- 08.07.2021
- 22
- 0
- Category:
- Lesbian
