Training Your Cuckold Husband
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So you want to be a cuckold?
Here's the good news: YOUR WIFE WANTS TO CHEAT ON YOU.
How do I know? Because your wife is a human being and it's a biological fact that human beings are wired to desire a variety and multiplicity of sexual partners. This includes your wife.
But let's back up and talk about you, the would-be cuckold. I suspect that the biggest obstacle between you and the realization of your dream is your own shame and social conditioning. One of the things that makes the cuckold fantasy so appealing is that it runs counter to the typical image of masculinity. Men are supposed to jealously guard 'their' women as if they were property. It is more socially acceptable to assault a man who sleeps with your wife than it is to consent to, or encourage, the so-called infidelity. Why is that? Why is v******e more tolerated than dropping the he-man pose?
We learn what it means to be a Man through our culture, and our culture imparts values to us --most of which we accept without thinking. The strongest kinds of ideologies are the ones that we don't even see as ideologies --the ones that we see as just facts of nature, or as 'the way things are.'
But we don't live in nature, we live in a human-constructed world, and things are the way they are because we made them that way.
Is there convincing evidence that male jealousy and possessiveness are biologically driven?
It's true that testosterone is associated with a quicker temper and a higher propensity for v******e. But body chemistry can be affected by environment, and our cultural environment encourages anger and v******e in certain situations, like when another man sleeps with your wife. This is supposed to be a challenge to your Manhood. In this situation, you are expected to react in a violent manner. Hormones can change behavior, but behavior can also change hormones. It's not a one way street.
I believe that the v******e associated with 'infidelity' is not a reflection of hormonal, but of intellectual processes. We don't just have hormones, we have brains too, and it is our brains that come up with these hormonal explanations for cultural phenomena.
Racism was once supported by universally accepted 'scientific' research which showed certain races to be inferior to others. This was another cultural phenomenon that was supposed to be a reflection of the natural order. Of course it was all bullshit!
The idea that Masculinity is somehow an outgrowth of biological processes is a similar fallacy. Sorry to get academic on you, but on this score the academics happen to be correct: Masculinity is a construct.
And what is constructed can be deconstructed. Take you for instance: you were raised in a culture that abhors men who fail to live up to the ideals of Masculinity, and yet you have a fantasy of seeing your wife get fucked by another man. Maybe you're going against the grain because you're weird or damaged in some way, or maybe you just accidently deprogrammed yourself a little bit. Maybe society has to constantly reinforce and police these things because if it didn't THE WHOLE SHAM WOULD CRUMBLE!
A woman who loves to fuck and does so without shame is a powerful woman. You want your wife to be that woman. Why? Probably because you want to be sexually submissive to her. How shameful! You should be afraid to show your face in public! What if people found out???
Shame is a powerful aphrodisiac, so maybe the origins of your sexual needs are the very things I've mentioned: social norms, Masculinity, fear of public reprobation, etc. This is the primordial gumbo out of which your fantasy emerged, so maybe it's not all bad.
Before I get into the How-To, I want to talk about two elements of cuck culture that are suspiciously over-represented in cuckold pornography, and might make people feel bad about the lifestyle.
Alpha/Beta:
In a lot of cuckold pornography, the man who fucks the wife is referred to as an Alpha Male, and the cuckold as a Beta Male. This is entirely stupid.
The terminology comes from research into gorilla social groups, where there can only be one Alpha Male per group, usually the biggest and strongest. This analogy puts the cuckold in a weak position. But if you think about it, even a little, you realize that the cuckold is getting exactly what he wants. What do you call a person who gets exactly what he wants? Weak? I don't think so.
And what does the true cuck want? To give COMPLETE control to his wife.
If there's an Alpha in a true cuckold situation, it's the wife, not the guy she's fucking.
But if the wife in the situation is just doing it to please her husband, then he's the one in control. A man might pimp out his wife or girlfriend, and you wouldn't call him a cuck. A pimp is doing it for money, but if he were getting something else out of it, like sexual satisfaction, it wouldn't change the power dynamic. That guy's a controlling asshole, manipulating his wife for his own ends.
This is the paradox, often commented on, in S/M relationships. The line between who's the 'top' and who's the 'bottom' becomes blurred when you look at the interior states and motivations of the participants. This dynamic is made even more complex by adding another person to the mix because that third person's motives also have to be accounted for.
This can also be confusing for newbie cucks because they have a sexual need to be out of control. Being under the control of your wife and being under the control of some random guy with a big dick are two very different things. Both of them might be a turn on, but one of them is more likely to make you feel bad about yourself in the morning.
If the Alpha/Beta thing turns you or your wife on, great! Use it! But if it makes you feel bad about yourself, you should know that it's not a necessary part of the cuckold dynamic.
Racism:
Cuckolds and their wives are probably not more racist than average, but the culture we live in is racist, and like I said before, we accept the values and ideologies of our culture without even knowing that we are doing it. This might explain why so much cuckold pornography involves a black man fucking a white wife, and why so many cucks have this specific fantasy.
And even if cucks and their wives aren't racist, let's face it, most cuckold pornography is.
Look at the terminology associated with this side of cuck life--
Often the black man who is fucking a wife is referred to as "a BBC" (Big Black Cock not British Broadcasting Corporation). This reduces a living, complex person to their genitals. It might be that a big dick is all that the living, complex person is within the context of the cuckold scene, but it's still reductive and potentially offensive.
A black man who fucks the wife of a cuckold is often referred to as a "Bull." This is a loaded term. A bull is a strong, masculine a****l, but it's also one that is dominated by its keepers/owners/users. It's a b**st of burden. Of course comparing a black man to an a****l, even in an admiring way, is racist. It harkens back to slavery days when strong black slaves were referred to as 'bucks.'
A married woman who fucks black men is sometimes called a "Queen of Spades." Many women in cuckold pornography have a tattoo (temporary or real) of a spade symbol with a Q in it. This is an obvious example of racism, because the word 'spade' is a derogatory term for a black man.
An extreme fetishistic cuckold fantasy is for the cuckold's wife to be impregnated by her "bull." Seeing their wife "black-bred" is the ultimate form of public humiliation for some cuckolds. Raising k**s that are clearly the product of extramarital affairs is a deep and public submission to the will of the wife. But the idea that a black man would impregnate a woman and then disappear from the scene, or allow their c***d to be raised by someone else, is a racist cliché.
So what's the deal?
The uncharitable view is that the cuckold, if his wife sleeps with a black man, gets to have his cake and eat it too. His wife gets fucked by a stronger, more virile man, but since he is black, he is not a real danger to the marriage.
Of course in reality the wife is just as free to run off with a black man as with any other type of man. But with cuckoldry, we're in the land of weird subconscious drives. The racism of our society does make it less likely that a woman in an established marriage is going to run off with a black man. That racist social pressure provides a (false) sense of security for the cuck.
The more charitable view is that the cuckold is taking the ultimate racist fear --black men coming for our women!-- and eroticizing it. The fear of the black man's sexual prowess is at the heart of a lot of the racist propaganda put out by the klan and their affiliates in media and government. Using this fear to fuel a sexual fetish is a constructive thing to do with it. Much more constructive than, say, letting it determine who you vote for. (Dan Savage made the same point in his column, probably better than me.)
It's important to remember that whatever the reason seeing your wife fucked by a black man turns you on --whether it's a racist reason or not-- the result is that a black man is getting laid. We're not talking about oppression here, so there's no reason for anyone to feel all that bad about it.
And just like the Alpha/Beta thing, if the racial element is what you're into, that's great! Go for it! But it is such a huge part of the way that cuckoldry is represented that it threatens to become part of the definition of what cuckolding is.
If racism in cuck culture is something that makes you question your sexual needs and feel like the whole thing is shameful (because it's racist), then just ignore it. A true cuck would get just as turned on by his wife fucking a Latino, Italian, or even a white guy.
Now let's get down to brass balls. How can you actually do it? How can you become a cuckold?
STEP 1: SUBMIT
You know that thing that you do that your wife hates? Stop doing that. You know that thing that she wants you to do, but it's a pain in the ass and you don't want to? Do it. You want to be a cuckold? When's the last time you did the dishes, or vacuumed, or picked the k**s up from school, or made dinner, or did the laundry, or cleaned the garage?
Real-life submission isn't all analingus and dog collars. It's about making your wife happy. You already know how to do that, so get to work.
Start losing some arguments. You and your wife probably bicker about stupid petty nonsense all the time. All couples do that. If you can realize in the moment what's happening, you can put a stop to it. Let her win even if she's wrong. Especially if she's wrong. Every disagreement is an opportunity to submit to your wife.
This can be really difficult because in the course of a relationship these little moments of opposition become so routine that you don't even notice them after awhile. If you slip up, you can always go back later and apologize. "Hey remember that argument we had yesterday in the car? I'm sorry, you were right. I shouldn't have been so close to the car in front of me."
Is that so hard? Do you want to be a cuckold, or do you want to be a guy who wins petty arguments with his wife?
Other ways to submit:
Start opening the car door for her --every time.
Stop disagreeing with her, especially in public --you should always have your wife's back.
Buy her presents. Candy, flowers, pastries --they don't have to be expensive. Just let her know you're thinking about her.
Start paying for things she usually pays for.
Start doing chores that she usually does --don't ask, just start doing them.
Offer to do her laundry.
Text her when you're apart and tell her you're thinking of her. Ask if there's anything you can do for her.
Just make your wife's day-to-day life as easy as possible. If you do all this she'll notice. She's going to ask what's going on, which is a perfect time to move to--
STEP 2: CONFESS (stage 1)
Tell your wife that you have discovered your true nature: you are submissive.
This is a big deal to you, so don't minimize it. Make your confession a big relationship conversation, not a discussion of some kinky little fantasy you've been toying with. This is a significant change: you want you wife to take the leadership role in your marriage. Tell her that just imagining her in that role fulfills you in a way you've never experienced before.
Tell her that doing the dishes and laundry is giving you a sexual charge.
Leave the cuckolding out of it for now, just let her know that you feel strongly that her rightful place is at the head of the family/marriage. Ask her if she'll be the boss from now on. She probably wont give you a firm 'yes' right away, but it's important to get the conversation started.
It's time to ask her some questions. Not, "hey, would you please force me to eat my own creampies?" --more like, "how can I be a better husband to you?" And whatever she answers, do it. Give her what she wants.
Tell her that if she's ever mad at you, all she has to do is mention the conversation you're having to get whatever it is that she wants. Tell her that from now on she can always have her own way on everything.
Most couples strive for balance in their relationships. Your wife needs to know that you would be happiest in an imbalanced relationship. Tell her that you know it deep down inside.
Tell her you want to be her little bitch.
She's going to be weirded out, but don't get discouraged. If you look at your sexual history, chances are that your submissive streak was there from the beginning. You probably thought you kept it well-hidden, but believe me, women can sense these things. You were probably attracted to your wife because you sensed a hidden dominant side in her, and she was probably attracted to you because she sensed your hidden submissive side. The culture you were both raised in didn't allow either of you to express these urges freely, but it's time to move past that.
You're two grownups in a committed, loving relationship. There's no reason why you and your wife can't have exactly what you both want.
As a side note, you should expect her to start taking your submission for granted over time. "Oh wow, I can't believe you did the laundry," quickly turns into, "why didn't you do the laundry?" It's human nature on her part to start to expect all those little submissive things you do, and it's human nature on your part to bristle under that expectation. But your wife taking those things for granted means that you're making progress! It's exactly what you wanted, she's assuming a dominant role over you. Let her know that you like it!
STEP 3: EXPLORE
Your wife might be resistant to the idea of sexually dominating you, but she would probably be open to getting a foot rub. Start there. Only don't do the usual cursory bullshit, take your time. look up videos on how to give awesome foot rubs. Buy a massage how-to book.
When you massage her, let her know that you are getting pleasure out of it too. Thank her afterwards.
Sexually, build on whatever you already do that is submissive. Oral sex is a good place to start.
Lick that pussy with enthusiasm, get in there, suck the clit, lap it like a doggy, tongue-fuck her, use your fingers while you're doing it. And put in some time! Don't be afraid to lick her asshole either. Once she's turned on she probably wont mind if a few stray licks go across her rosebud. Gauge her reaction. If she's into it, go all in! Getting your tongue all the way up your wife's asshole is a good way to show her you're serious about the whole 'I'm submissive' thing.
And just like with rubbing her feet, thank her afterward. Let her know that you appreciate the special treat she's giving you.
You know how you usually cum too quick? Well it's time to do something about that. Tell your wife that she's now in control of when you cum. This is not necessarily even submissive, it's just a practical way to maximize both of your pleasure. Chances are, she'll get a kick out of telling you when you're allowed to cum.
And if you slip up and cum without your wife's permission, you should apologize and be ready to accept any punishment she deems appropriate.
STEP 4: CONFESS (stage 2)
After you've submitted to your wife, confessed about your submissive nature, and explored this dynamic, you've laid the groundwork for the ultimate confession: You want to be her cuckold.
This is the hardest step to take, but it's important that you take it now because it might take a long time, like a year or more, before anything really happens. If you truly want to be a cuckold, this step is crucial.
But how? You can't just say "I want you to fuck other guys" out of the blue.
Here are some realistic, practical ways to broach the subject.
SCENARIO 1
Your wife says, "If you ever cheated on me, I'd slip rat poison into your morning coffee" or "If you ever cheated on me, I'd light your car on fire like in that music video." Or something like that.
You reply, "Do you know what I would do if you cheated on me? Nothing. I'd forgive you. I know it's weird but the idea of you cheating on me actually kind of turns me on. I'm pretty fucked up huh?"
The answer is no, you're not, but it doesn't hurt to frame it that way if you're nervous. Be careful that she doesn't think you're saying all this because you want to cheat on her. Make sure that she understands that it's connected to that earlier conversation about you being her submissive little bitch-boy.
SCENARIO 2
At breakfast one morning you say, "I woke up so turned on this morning. I had a really intense sex dream... It was about you." She'll naturally be curious and ask for details, so you continue, "I dreamt I got home from work and you were in the bedroom fucking [insert the name of an acquaintance she thinks is hot here]. You saw me come in and you just laughed at me and kept fucking him."
Inevitably she'll ask, "weren't you mad?"
And you say, "I guess I should've been, but I was too turned on. It was one of the most erotic situations I've ever experienced. I just watched you guys go at it... It was almost a wet dream."
The problem with this scenario is that it's a lie. But in the scheme of things, lying about a dream isn't that bad, especially if it leads to a more honest conversation about your sexual needs. You can always confess that it was a lie later.
SCENARIO 3
Driving home from a party, you say, "it looked like you were flirting with Jason tonight."
"What? Don't be silly! We were just talking!"
"I know but I was having all these weird feelings. I knew you weren't really flirting with him, but the idea that it could be construed that way --that you'd flirt with another man right in front of me... I don't know..."
"Oh come on! We were just talking, you can't be mad."
"I'm not. Really... I have no idea why, and I don't even know if I should tell you this, but it turned me on."
This is the classic 'hey, I'm just as perplexed by my crazy brain as you are' strategy. It's not 100% honest, but you've probably been confused about your desire to be cuckolded in the past. You're just fudging the timeline so you can act out your confusion in front of your wife.
SCENARIO 4
You say, "remember that time you had to go to Denver for that conference?" (it could be any time that she had ample opportunity to cheat on you if she'd wanted to) "I have to confess something to you about that weekend."
Her alarm bells will be going off like crazy. You continue, "I kept thinking you were cheating on me the whole time you were gone. I was obsessed with it. Every time you called I was listening for background noise. I was checking your friends' social media feeds every few minutes to see if I could catch you in the background of a picture talking to another man."
She'll say, "oh god, that's silly! You know I wouldn't do that."
"That's what I need to confess... I must've jacked off like 15 times over that weekend. I think I was hoping to catch you fucking around. I wanted you to be cheating on me. The thought of you doing that to me is such a huge turn on. I'm really sorry honey but I can't help it. Are you mad?"
This is a bit manipulative, but again, you're just trying to open up a dialogue about your sexual needs.
SCENARIO 5
You ask, "do you ever talk to your girlfriends about your past sexual experiences?"
She'll probably answer, "no" or "yeah occasionally. Why?"
"I read an article about how most women are ashamed of their sexual history and will refuse to talk about it with their husbands. I was just wondering if you ladies talked about that stuff amongst yourselves."
She will most likely deny that she feels any shame about her sexual history. You argue that she obviously does, because she's never told you anything about it. Accepting the challenge, she'll say, "fine. What do you want to know?"
Ask her to tell you about something she did that turned her on but maybe she felt bad about afterwards. Ask her for her sluttiest moment.
The point of this scenario is to get her talking freely about her sexual history. If you are successful and she tells you about some sexually deviant escapade from college, be sure to let her know that it turns you on! Discussing other people during sex can be a road to cuckoldville.
STEP 5: WAIT AND REITERATE
Now her wheels are turning. She's not going to admit right away that she's into it. She probably won't even admit that she's considering it. And maybe she's not... At least not right now. If she's interested, she will probably hide her interest from you at first. Give her time to process this new information.
If she's never heard of cuckolding as a male-driven fetish, she might even think it's a trap --a way for you to get a 'free pass' to cheat on her. Or maybe she'll think you've already cheated on her and you want her to sleep with someone else to lessen your guilt. Make sure she understands that the cuckold fantasy is part of your desire to be sexually submissive to her.
It is important to reiterate that you want her to take complete control over you and every aspect of your relationship/marriage. Tell her that the more she assumes a dominant role over you, as your master, the more it turns you on.
Let her know that cuckolding you would be the ultimate expression of the new dynamic in your relationship. Tell her that thinking of her fucking another man with your full knowledge and support fulfills a deep need within your psyche.
You should take every opportunity she gives you to talk about your cuckold fantasies. The key part of this advise is to take the opportunities SHE GIVES YOU. You shouldn't be bringing it up all the time or trying to turn every sexual encounter with her into a cuckold scene. She'll get annoyed and associate your fantasy with NOT getting what she wants, which is the opposite of a cuckold relationship.
So wait for her to bring it up again, or at least wait for her to give you an opening to bring it up.
One way to do this is to just answer her truthfully when she asks you a question. "What did you do this afternoon?"
"I went to the bank, put some gas in the car, then came home and jacked off."
"What brought that on?"
"I was reading a really sexy cuckold story on Literotica."
She might get annoyed, but you can't be blamed for bringing it up if she asked the question.
If you follow these steps, you're still going to have to wait. Be patient. It's a lot to process, but she'll eventually assimilate the new information you've given her. Whether she acts on it or not, your wife will now know the truth: SHE'S FREE. That will be in the back of her mind and her feelings about it will change with her mood, her self-image, and whether or not mercury is in retrograde.
She'll probably bring it up in weird little ways when you least expect it. Be ready. It might seem like she's making fun of you, but she's probably just testing the waters.
And remember: YOUR WIFE WANTS TO CHEAT ON YOU. She does. The main obstacle to it actually happening are fear, shame, and miscommunication. You have to create a relationship that is brave, proud, and has open and honest lines of communication.
Stop being a little pussy-assed bitch and tell your wife what you want. She wants it too, and together, you can both freely explore your desires with love and passion.
Here's the good news: YOUR WIFE WANTS TO CHEAT ON YOU.
How do I know? Because your wife is a human being and it's a biological fact that human beings are wired to desire a variety and multiplicity of sexual partners. This includes your wife.
But let's back up and talk about you, the would-be cuckold. I suspect that the biggest obstacle between you and the realization of your dream is your own shame and social conditioning. One of the things that makes the cuckold fantasy so appealing is that it runs counter to the typical image of masculinity. Men are supposed to jealously guard 'their' women as if they were property. It is more socially acceptable to assault a man who sleeps with your wife than it is to consent to, or encourage, the so-called infidelity. Why is that? Why is v******e more tolerated than dropping the he-man pose?
We learn what it means to be a Man through our culture, and our culture imparts values to us --most of which we accept without thinking. The strongest kinds of ideologies are the ones that we don't even see as ideologies --the ones that we see as just facts of nature, or as 'the way things are.'
But we don't live in nature, we live in a human-constructed world, and things are the way they are because we made them that way.
Is there convincing evidence that male jealousy and possessiveness are biologically driven?
It's true that testosterone is associated with a quicker temper and a higher propensity for v******e. But body chemistry can be affected by environment, and our cultural environment encourages anger and v******e in certain situations, like when another man sleeps with your wife. This is supposed to be a challenge to your Manhood. In this situation, you are expected to react in a violent manner. Hormones can change behavior, but behavior can also change hormones. It's not a one way street.
I believe that the v******e associated with 'infidelity' is not a reflection of hormonal, but of intellectual processes. We don't just have hormones, we have brains too, and it is our brains that come up with these hormonal explanations for cultural phenomena.
Racism was once supported by universally accepted 'scientific' research which showed certain races to be inferior to others. This was another cultural phenomenon that was supposed to be a reflection of the natural order. Of course it was all bullshit!
The idea that Masculinity is somehow an outgrowth of biological processes is a similar fallacy. Sorry to get academic on you, but on this score the academics happen to be correct: Masculinity is a construct.
And what is constructed can be deconstructed. Take you for instance: you were raised in a culture that abhors men who fail to live up to the ideals of Masculinity, and yet you have a fantasy of seeing your wife get fucked by another man. Maybe you're going against the grain because you're weird or damaged in some way, or maybe you just accidently deprogrammed yourself a little bit. Maybe society has to constantly reinforce and police these things because if it didn't THE WHOLE SHAM WOULD CRUMBLE!
A woman who loves to fuck and does so without shame is a powerful woman. You want your wife to be that woman. Why? Probably because you want to be sexually submissive to her. How shameful! You should be afraid to show your face in public! What if people found out???
Shame is a powerful aphrodisiac, so maybe the origins of your sexual needs are the very things I've mentioned: social norms, Masculinity, fear of public reprobation, etc. This is the primordial gumbo out of which your fantasy emerged, so maybe it's not all bad.
Before I get into the How-To, I want to talk about two elements of cuck culture that are suspiciously over-represented in cuckold pornography, and might make people feel bad about the lifestyle.
Alpha/Beta:
In a lot of cuckold pornography, the man who fucks the wife is referred to as an Alpha Male, and the cuckold as a Beta Male. This is entirely stupid.
The terminology comes from research into gorilla social groups, where there can only be one Alpha Male per group, usually the biggest and strongest. This analogy puts the cuckold in a weak position. But if you think about it, even a little, you realize that the cuckold is getting exactly what he wants. What do you call a person who gets exactly what he wants? Weak? I don't think so.
And what does the true cuck want? To give COMPLETE control to his wife.
If there's an Alpha in a true cuckold situation, it's the wife, not the guy she's fucking.
But if the wife in the situation is just doing it to please her husband, then he's the one in control. A man might pimp out his wife or girlfriend, and you wouldn't call him a cuck. A pimp is doing it for money, but if he were getting something else out of it, like sexual satisfaction, it wouldn't change the power dynamic. That guy's a controlling asshole, manipulating his wife for his own ends.
This is the paradox, often commented on, in S/M relationships. The line between who's the 'top' and who's the 'bottom' becomes blurred when you look at the interior states and motivations of the participants. This dynamic is made even more complex by adding another person to the mix because that third person's motives also have to be accounted for.
This can also be confusing for newbie cucks because they have a sexual need to be out of control. Being under the control of your wife and being under the control of some random guy with a big dick are two very different things. Both of them might be a turn on, but one of them is more likely to make you feel bad about yourself in the morning.
If the Alpha/Beta thing turns you or your wife on, great! Use it! But if it makes you feel bad about yourself, you should know that it's not a necessary part of the cuckold dynamic.
Racism:
Cuckolds and their wives are probably not more racist than average, but the culture we live in is racist, and like I said before, we accept the values and ideologies of our culture without even knowing that we are doing it. This might explain why so much cuckold pornography involves a black man fucking a white wife, and why so many cucks have this specific fantasy.
And even if cucks and their wives aren't racist, let's face it, most cuckold pornography is.
Look at the terminology associated with this side of cuck life--
Often the black man who is fucking a wife is referred to as "a BBC" (Big Black Cock not British Broadcasting Corporation). This reduces a living, complex person to their genitals. It might be that a big dick is all that the living, complex person is within the context of the cuckold scene, but it's still reductive and potentially offensive.
A black man who fucks the wife of a cuckold is often referred to as a "Bull." This is a loaded term. A bull is a strong, masculine a****l, but it's also one that is dominated by its keepers/owners/users. It's a b**st of burden. Of course comparing a black man to an a****l, even in an admiring way, is racist. It harkens back to slavery days when strong black slaves were referred to as 'bucks.'
A married woman who fucks black men is sometimes called a "Queen of Spades." Many women in cuckold pornography have a tattoo (temporary or real) of a spade symbol with a Q in it. This is an obvious example of racism, because the word 'spade' is a derogatory term for a black man.
An extreme fetishistic cuckold fantasy is for the cuckold's wife to be impregnated by her "bull." Seeing their wife "black-bred" is the ultimate form of public humiliation for some cuckolds. Raising k**s that are clearly the product of extramarital affairs is a deep and public submission to the will of the wife. But the idea that a black man would impregnate a woman and then disappear from the scene, or allow their c***d to be raised by someone else, is a racist cliché.
So what's the deal?
The uncharitable view is that the cuckold, if his wife sleeps with a black man, gets to have his cake and eat it too. His wife gets fucked by a stronger, more virile man, but since he is black, he is not a real danger to the marriage.
Of course in reality the wife is just as free to run off with a black man as with any other type of man. But with cuckoldry, we're in the land of weird subconscious drives. The racism of our society does make it less likely that a woman in an established marriage is going to run off with a black man. That racist social pressure provides a (false) sense of security for the cuck.
The more charitable view is that the cuckold is taking the ultimate racist fear --black men coming for our women!-- and eroticizing it. The fear of the black man's sexual prowess is at the heart of a lot of the racist propaganda put out by the klan and their affiliates in media and government. Using this fear to fuel a sexual fetish is a constructive thing to do with it. Much more constructive than, say, letting it determine who you vote for. (Dan Savage made the same point in his column, probably better than me.)
It's important to remember that whatever the reason seeing your wife fucked by a black man turns you on --whether it's a racist reason or not-- the result is that a black man is getting laid. We're not talking about oppression here, so there's no reason for anyone to feel all that bad about it.
And just like the Alpha/Beta thing, if the racial element is what you're into, that's great! Go for it! But it is such a huge part of the way that cuckoldry is represented that it threatens to become part of the definition of what cuckolding is.
If racism in cuck culture is something that makes you question your sexual needs and feel like the whole thing is shameful (because it's racist), then just ignore it. A true cuck would get just as turned on by his wife fucking a Latino, Italian, or even a white guy.
Now let's get down to brass balls. How can you actually do it? How can you become a cuckold?
STEP 1: SUBMIT
You know that thing that you do that your wife hates? Stop doing that. You know that thing that she wants you to do, but it's a pain in the ass and you don't want to? Do it. You want to be a cuckold? When's the last time you did the dishes, or vacuumed, or picked the k**s up from school, or made dinner, or did the laundry, or cleaned the garage?
Real-life submission isn't all analingus and dog collars. It's about making your wife happy. You already know how to do that, so get to work.
Start losing some arguments. You and your wife probably bicker about stupid petty nonsense all the time. All couples do that. If you can realize in the moment what's happening, you can put a stop to it. Let her win even if she's wrong. Especially if she's wrong. Every disagreement is an opportunity to submit to your wife.
This can be really difficult because in the course of a relationship these little moments of opposition become so routine that you don't even notice them after awhile. If you slip up, you can always go back later and apologize. "Hey remember that argument we had yesterday in the car? I'm sorry, you were right. I shouldn't have been so close to the car in front of me."
Is that so hard? Do you want to be a cuckold, or do you want to be a guy who wins petty arguments with his wife?
Other ways to submit:
Start opening the car door for her --every time.
Stop disagreeing with her, especially in public --you should always have your wife's back.
Buy her presents. Candy, flowers, pastries --they don't have to be expensive. Just let her know you're thinking about her.
Start paying for things she usually pays for.
Start doing chores that she usually does --don't ask, just start doing them.
Offer to do her laundry.
Text her when you're apart and tell her you're thinking of her. Ask if there's anything you can do for her.
Just make your wife's day-to-day life as easy as possible. If you do all this she'll notice. She's going to ask what's going on, which is a perfect time to move to--
STEP 2: CONFESS (stage 1)
Tell your wife that you have discovered your true nature: you are submissive.
This is a big deal to you, so don't minimize it. Make your confession a big relationship conversation, not a discussion of some kinky little fantasy you've been toying with. This is a significant change: you want you wife to take the leadership role in your marriage. Tell her that just imagining her in that role fulfills you in a way you've never experienced before.
Tell her that doing the dishes and laundry is giving you a sexual charge.
Leave the cuckolding out of it for now, just let her know that you feel strongly that her rightful place is at the head of the family/marriage. Ask her if she'll be the boss from now on. She probably wont give you a firm 'yes' right away, but it's important to get the conversation started.
It's time to ask her some questions. Not, "hey, would you please force me to eat my own creampies?" --more like, "how can I be a better husband to you?" And whatever she answers, do it. Give her what she wants.
Tell her that if she's ever mad at you, all she has to do is mention the conversation you're having to get whatever it is that she wants. Tell her that from now on she can always have her own way on everything.
Most couples strive for balance in their relationships. Your wife needs to know that you would be happiest in an imbalanced relationship. Tell her that you know it deep down inside.
Tell her you want to be her little bitch.
She's going to be weirded out, but don't get discouraged. If you look at your sexual history, chances are that your submissive streak was there from the beginning. You probably thought you kept it well-hidden, but believe me, women can sense these things. You were probably attracted to your wife because you sensed a hidden dominant side in her, and she was probably attracted to you because she sensed your hidden submissive side. The culture you were both raised in didn't allow either of you to express these urges freely, but it's time to move past that.
You're two grownups in a committed, loving relationship. There's no reason why you and your wife can't have exactly what you both want.
As a side note, you should expect her to start taking your submission for granted over time. "Oh wow, I can't believe you did the laundry," quickly turns into, "why didn't you do the laundry?" It's human nature on her part to start to expect all those little submissive things you do, and it's human nature on your part to bristle under that expectation. But your wife taking those things for granted means that you're making progress! It's exactly what you wanted, she's assuming a dominant role over you. Let her know that you like it!
STEP 3: EXPLORE
Your wife might be resistant to the idea of sexually dominating you, but she would probably be open to getting a foot rub. Start there. Only don't do the usual cursory bullshit, take your time. look up videos on how to give awesome foot rubs. Buy a massage how-to book.
When you massage her, let her know that you are getting pleasure out of it too. Thank her afterwards.
Sexually, build on whatever you already do that is submissive. Oral sex is a good place to start.
Lick that pussy with enthusiasm, get in there, suck the clit, lap it like a doggy, tongue-fuck her, use your fingers while you're doing it. And put in some time! Don't be afraid to lick her asshole either. Once she's turned on she probably wont mind if a few stray licks go across her rosebud. Gauge her reaction. If she's into it, go all in! Getting your tongue all the way up your wife's asshole is a good way to show her you're serious about the whole 'I'm submissive' thing.
And just like with rubbing her feet, thank her afterward. Let her know that you appreciate the special treat she's giving you.
You know how you usually cum too quick? Well it's time to do something about that. Tell your wife that she's now in control of when you cum. This is not necessarily even submissive, it's just a practical way to maximize both of your pleasure. Chances are, she'll get a kick out of telling you when you're allowed to cum.
And if you slip up and cum without your wife's permission, you should apologize and be ready to accept any punishment she deems appropriate.
STEP 4: CONFESS (stage 2)
After you've submitted to your wife, confessed about your submissive nature, and explored this dynamic, you've laid the groundwork for the ultimate confession: You want to be her cuckold.
This is the hardest step to take, but it's important that you take it now because it might take a long time, like a year or more, before anything really happens. If you truly want to be a cuckold, this step is crucial.
But how? You can't just say "I want you to fuck other guys" out of the blue.
Here are some realistic, practical ways to broach the subject.
SCENARIO 1
Your wife says, "If you ever cheated on me, I'd slip rat poison into your morning coffee" or "If you ever cheated on me, I'd light your car on fire like in that music video." Or something like that.
You reply, "Do you know what I would do if you cheated on me? Nothing. I'd forgive you. I know it's weird but the idea of you cheating on me actually kind of turns me on. I'm pretty fucked up huh?"
The answer is no, you're not, but it doesn't hurt to frame it that way if you're nervous. Be careful that she doesn't think you're saying all this because you want to cheat on her. Make sure that she understands that it's connected to that earlier conversation about you being her submissive little bitch-boy.
SCENARIO 2
At breakfast one morning you say, "I woke up so turned on this morning. I had a really intense sex dream... It was about you." She'll naturally be curious and ask for details, so you continue, "I dreamt I got home from work and you were in the bedroom fucking [insert the name of an acquaintance she thinks is hot here]. You saw me come in and you just laughed at me and kept fucking him."
Inevitably she'll ask, "weren't you mad?"
And you say, "I guess I should've been, but I was too turned on. It was one of the most erotic situations I've ever experienced. I just watched you guys go at it... It was almost a wet dream."
The problem with this scenario is that it's a lie. But in the scheme of things, lying about a dream isn't that bad, especially if it leads to a more honest conversation about your sexual needs. You can always confess that it was a lie later.
SCENARIO 3
Driving home from a party, you say, "it looked like you were flirting with Jason tonight."
"What? Don't be silly! We were just talking!"
"I know but I was having all these weird feelings. I knew you weren't really flirting with him, but the idea that it could be construed that way --that you'd flirt with another man right in front of me... I don't know..."
"Oh come on! We were just talking, you can't be mad."
"I'm not. Really... I have no idea why, and I don't even know if I should tell you this, but it turned me on."
This is the classic 'hey, I'm just as perplexed by my crazy brain as you are' strategy. It's not 100% honest, but you've probably been confused about your desire to be cuckolded in the past. You're just fudging the timeline so you can act out your confusion in front of your wife.
SCENARIO 4
You say, "remember that time you had to go to Denver for that conference?" (it could be any time that she had ample opportunity to cheat on you if she'd wanted to) "I have to confess something to you about that weekend."
Her alarm bells will be going off like crazy. You continue, "I kept thinking you were cheating on me the whole time you were gone. I was obsessed with it. Every time you called I was listening for background noise. I was checking your friends' social media feeds every few minutes to see if I could catch you in the background of a picture talking to another man."
She'll say, "oh god, that's silly! You know I wouldn't do that."
"That's what I need to confess... I must've jacked off like 15 times over that weekend. I think I was hoping to catch you fucking around. I wanted you to be cheating on me. The thought of you doing that to me is such a huge turn on. I'm really sorry honey but I can't help it. Are you mad?"
This is a bit manipulative, but again, you're just trying to open up a dialogue about your sexual needs.
SCENARIO 5
You ask, "do you ever talk to your girlfriends about your past sexual experiences?"
She'll probably answer, "no" or "yeah occasionally. Why?"
"I read an article about how most women are ashamed of their sexual history and will refuse to talk about it with their husbands. I was just wondering if you ladies talked about that stuff amongst yourselves."
She will most likely deny that she feels any shame about her sexual history. You argue that she obviously does, because she's never told you anything about it. Accepting the challenge, she'll say, "fine. What do you want to know?"
Ask her to tell you about something she did that turned her on but maybe she felt bad about afterwards. Ask her for her sluttiest moment.
The point of this scenario is to get her talking freely about her sexual history. If you are successful and she tells you about some sexually deviant escapade from college, be sure to let her know that it turns you on! Discussing other people during sex can be a road to cuckoldville.
STEP 5: WAIT AND REITERATE
Now her wheels are turning. She's not going to admit right away that she's into it. She probably won't even admit that she's considering it. And maybe she's not... At least not right now. If she's interested, she will probably hide her interest from you at first. Give her time to process this new information.
If she's never heard of cuckolding as a male-driven fetish, she might even think it's a trap --a way for you to get a 'free pass' to cheat on her. Or maybe she'll think you've already cheated on her and you want her to sleep with someone else to lessen your guilt. Make sure she understands that the cuckold fantasy is part of your desire to be sexually submissive to her.
It is important to reiterate that you want her to take complete control over you and every aspect of your relationship/marriage. Tell her that the more she assumes a dominant role over you, as your master, the more it turns you on.
Let her know that cuckolding you would be the ultimate expression of the new dynamic in your relationship. Tell her that thinking of her fucking another man with your full knowledge and support fulfills a deep need within your psyche.
You should take every opportunity she gives you to talk about your cuckold fantasies. The key part of this advise is to take the opportunities SHE GIVES YOU. You shouldn't be bringing it up all the time or trying to turn every sexual encounter with her into a cuckold scene. She'll get annoyed and associate your fantasy with NOT getting what she wants, which is the opposite of a cuckold relationship.
So wait for her to bring it up again, or at least wait for her to give you an opening to bring it up.
One way to do this is to just answer her truthfully when she asks you a question. "What did you do this afternoon?"
"I went to the bank, put some gas in the car, then came home and jacked off."
"What brought that on?"
"I was reading a really sexy cuckold story on Literotica."
She might get annoyed, but you can't be blamed for bringing it up if she asked the question.
If you follow these steps, you're still going to have to wait. Be patient. It's a lot to process, but she'll eventually assimilate the new information you've given her. Whether she acts on it or not, your wife will now know the truth: SHE'S FREE. That will be in the back of her mind and her feelings about it will change with her mood, her self-image, and whether or not mercury is in retrograde.
She'll probably bring it up in weird little ways when you least expect it. Be ready. It might seem like she's making fun of you, but she's probably just testing the waters.
And remember: YOUR WIFE WANTS TO CHEAT ON YOU. She does. The main obstacle to it actually happening are fear, shame, and miscommunication. You have to create a relationship that is brave, proud, and has open and honest lines of communication.
Stop being a little pussy-assed bitch and tell your wife what you want. She wants it too, and together, you can both freely explore your desires with love and passion.
Bess
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