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or CUCKOLD: A LINGUISTIC ASYMMETRY, by Holly Rennick

plus CUCKOLD: IF THE MILKMAN DELIVERS AT 9:30, WHY MAKE YOUR BED TWICE? by Cindi Barton

AUTHORS' NOTES

This literary contribution may seem a bit like ping-pong if our co-authorship is new to you. Actually, this is our fourth publication. Visit Holly's ASSTR website for "Notebook", "Top Tips" and "Oneida" to get a sense of our literary partnership.

We offer our insights not as a final analysis, but merely as a point of embarkation for further multi-disciplinary exploration of cuckoldry.

[Hey, Cindi Barton, it's I, Holly Rennick here. How does it sound so far?]

[Why are you using my last name, Holly? Like I can't see who you are? And why are we talking in brackets?]

[It's how they know who's talking, Cindi, like sports commentators doing pre-game inanities. "Hey, Mike Ditka. I'd say that the Cowboy offense is going to have to move the ball if Dallas is going to win this showdown." "I'd simply add, John Madden, that the Bronco's big front line is hoping to stop them!" See how they do it? Plus, over-identifying each other helps our name recognition.]

[We're just schoolteachers, Holly Rennick. Start typing.]

[OK. Let's start with the dictionary.]

AN EXCELLENT START

A cuckold (as a noun) is the husband of an unfaithful wife. To cuckold (as a transitive verb) is to make a cuckold of. (If you're picky: imp. & p. p. "cuckolded"; p. pr. & vb. n. "cuckolding", as you would conjugate "fold", not "hold".)

[And now Cindi, we grab their attention with a heavy-duty quotation. I was just reading Shakespeare's Coriolanus after dinner and came upon this. Act IV, Scene 5, line 179, if I remember correctly.]

"As war, in some sort, may be said to be a ravisher, so it cannot be denied but peace is a great maker of cuckolds."

["Coriolanus", Holly? Shakespeare wrote some clunkers too? Rape the guy's wife in war, but seduce her in peacetime? We just deal with the problems of peace, then, OK?]

[That was just to get their attention and use the word "cuckold", Cindi. Now we get a little schoolmarmish.]

CUCKOLD IN AMERICAN HERITAGE

We thank "American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language" for the following etymology,

[Hey, Holly? Cindi Barton here again. Is this about insects?]

["E T Y", not "E N T O", Cindi. It means, "Word history".]

"The allusion to the cuckoo on which the word cuckold is based may not be appreciated by those unfamiliar with the nesting habits of certain varieties of this bird. The female of some Old World cuckoos lays its eggs in the nests of other birds, leaving them to be cared for by the resident nesters. This parasitic tendency has given the female bird a figurative reputation for unfaithfulness as well. Hence in Old French we find the word 'cucuault'... used to designate a husband whose wife has wandered afield like the female cuckoo... Middle English 'cokewold'... is first recorded in a work written around 1250."

[That's really old, when they invented cockholding, Holly. So we're writing an essay about it?]

[There's no "cock" in it, Cindi, and there's no "h". I have a degree in Secondary Education/Language Arts, you recall.]

[Oh, I thought its entomology maybe related them together. "Cock" and "hold", like a compound word. You know, like, "I manhandled him."]

[Sorry Cindi. The word's from a bird, is all. Just let me handle this, OK?]

Shakespeare utilized the term "cuckold" on 43 occasions.

As a noun -- "Now sir, who's a cuckold now?"

As an adjective -- "I mean not cuckold-mad; but, sure, he is stark mad."

As a transitive verb -- "The conclusion shall be crowned with your enjoying her: adieu. You shall have her, Master Brook; Master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford."

As an expletive -- "Fie, fie, fie! Cuckold, cuckold, cuckold!"

[Hey, Holly? Holly Rennick, I mean. In "Shakespeare in Love" they did it under a blanket. Remember?]

[The old play-within-a-play technique, we call it in creative writing, Cindi Barton.]

[But you realize, Holly Rennick, don't you, that not everybody turns to Shakespeare? In Spanish, it's more interesting.]

"Cabron", what Spanish 101 says is a "billy-goat", means a man who allows another man to have sex with his woman and doesn't do anything about it.

[Muy interesante, Señorita Cindi. Now here's my thesis. Just read while I type and don't interrupt.]

ASYMMETRY

We have any number of gender-neutral adjectives for perpetuators of infidelity: "adulterous", "cheating", "unfaithful" and so on. For the unfortunate spouse we have "betrayed", "cheated-upon", again appropriate to husband or wife. But, apart from symmetric suffixes, e.g. "adulterer" and "adulteress", we have but one word, "cuckold" that is gender specific. If you've been cuckold, you're a guy and your wife's been in bed with somebody else. Shakespeare ordered it correctly in Henry the Eighth -- "He or she, cuckold or cuckold-maker."

The Inuit have a word for every sort of caribou bone. We couldn't care less about elk species. But how many words do they have related to a computer? Language meets needs, that is to say. So why would we have a specific term for the fellow whose wife has carnal acquaintance with another?

Why, that is say, is the term "cuckold" asymmetric? Why doesn't the unfortunate wife of an unfaithful male titled in like manner? This is our question.

Because males secretly want it to happen to them? "Oh, Hi, Ralph. Glad you could stop by this evening. I've got a big job, so I'm going back to the office for a few hours. Maybe you and Helen can watch a little TV, or something. Hun, you can stay in your nightie. It's just Ralph." Statistics say that suspicious husbands are justified only half the time. Is there some psychological principle about seeing what they want to see?

Because women want to classify men according to their own independence? Perhaps. Being cuckold speaks of having a female spouse who's chosen to venture beyond the "and obey" bit. Let's burn them bras, babes!

Because a wife having a secret lover so often works out? My best guess. Maybe a social scientist would see cuckoldry as structurally stabilizing, that sort of gobbledygook. The activity's named it because it works. A cuckold spouse can still sell Toyotas, bowl, watch the NFL, etc. while his wife enjoys her orgasm. If she came when she should have been at the PTA meeting, she can still fake one back home.

[Hey, Holly?]

[Now what, Cindi?]

[Is this some big thing to Gloria Steinem or Hillary Clinton or somebody? That we don't get a special word on our side? "Cuckild", I'm thinking. Monica cuckilded Hillary.]

[It's about power, I think Good Housekeeping said. Noam Chomsky says that through linguistics we figure complicated stuff out.]

[Like globalization, or whatever he was lecturing about on the college station? Just 'cause he's smart doesn't mean he knows everything. I'll bet his real name is "Norm", you think?]

[It's all related, "cuckold" and "globalization" from the linguistic paradigm. Hold on, sister, I just have a little more to conclude.]

So then, armed with my deconstruction of "cuckold", consider these questions.

Guys. Given that, say, one out of five of you are going to be cuckolded, wouldn't you rather it be by a guy she's not going to move in with? Wouldn't you rather she chose a lover who'll treat her well? Well, if you want her to get beat up, you deserve to be a cuckold!

Gals. Some of you've done it. Some of you are doing it. Some of you will. We're probably talking about pretty great sex, right? Wouldn't you rather it be with somebody who understands you? Someone who'll always be around?

Both of you. If something happens with the birth control, you'd want a baby who genetically fits within the family.

So there we are. It happens. We've named it. We own it.

[That's my bit. So what do you think, Cindi? How I contextualized it?]

[I like that bit about genetics, her being with somebody she's known a long time. Can I write something now, since you promised I could? The readers may need some practical tips.]

[Sure, though it's often counterproductive to reword a well-developed thesis. Go ahead.]

A FEW TIPS

So here's an idea for Army wives. Your hubby's off for six months searching for weapons of mass destruction. He comes home and six months later you have a baby. What you say is that the nurse said he's really a big strapping kid for being a preemie. Or you can say that she said that these ones that are longer term often turn out to be good football players. In science, you see, I teach that gestation (that's what we call it) is not an exact length. It depends.

Or a tip about when you go to the NEA Convention and your husband phones you at 2:00 AM and this Assistant Principal you met answers the phone. You say loudly, "Oh, thank you officer for responding so promptly. I thought 911 was how I set my phone to do a wake-up call."

Or maybe your spouse finds your pills and he's had the big V already. You say they're not what they're labeled; that's just to expedite them through customs. They're just meth.'

Or maybe your kid looks pretty much like the milkman. Your husband maybe wonders. Remind him that the termite exterminator guy is the milkman's brother, so he's probably wrong. Don't tell hubby about ordering "extra fresh cream".

Or husbands. Be suspicious if your wife goes to tennis lessons twice a week and always comes back showered and invigorated. Be very suspicious if she takes a squash racket.

And guys. So your wife Sylvia had this bridge game last night with her girlfriends. Today Sally makes a big point to you about having chatted with Sylvia. Nancy mentions how she and Sylvia had some good hands. Ruth remarks about how nice Sylvia looked. Marianne laughs about how she and Sylvia messed up a bid.

[What you think, Holly? I need to tell the husband how many players sit at a bridge table?]

[Probably, Cindi. But we can't just be Agatha Christie. So I got some data.]

CUCKOLD BY THE NUMBERS

Two German scientists wanted to know if hair color is hereditary determined. In three schools they took some blood of 300 children and examined the DNA. They also took blood from the children's parents. The outcome of the examination shook the scientists. For more than ten percent of the children, the nominal father was not the biological father.

[Urban legend, Holly! Like the Germans wonder if hair color is hereditary? Let's just say that some dads may not have the full history. Go on.]

Reading USA Today, December 21, 1998 for my research, 24 percent of married men and 14 percent of women have been unfaithful, 28 and 17 by another survey, and 60 and 40 in what looks to be a less-scientific opinion. But always are there fewer promiscuous wives than promiscuous husbands. There are fewer betrayed men than women. So why does this minority get its own adjective?

[Hey Holly, you never took statistics, right?]

[Education majors have our special course. We have to do grade books and things. Plus, commentators like to report statistics. "Never before in 14 consecutive plays have the Cowboys run for 33 and passed for 13!" So what did you find out?]

GOOGLE

[In science we call it our literature review. I Googled to "cuckold" and got total crap! A forum on watching your wife getting impregnated by a Mexican, for goodness sakes! It's racist and how'd you know that she was actually impregnated? It takes several weeks to be sure. Anyway, it's empty fantasy for lonely voyeurs. Those pallid writers haven't a clue what it's about.]

["Pallid? How'd you know that word?]

['Cause science majors still read, Holly. Bet you never dissect frogs when you don't have a date.]

[Ugh! Well, I think maybe Steve, our new Phys Ed guy, might ask me out. So there!]

[You'd like those books about the No 1 Ladies Detective Agency. Really good! Steve's a gay as a tulip, in case you missed his short beard. Anyway, I found some other stuff. Put this in our essay.]

Excerpt from Penthouse, August, 1997: "The most common letter we get is from husbands, describing how much they love watching their wives have sex with other men. We know right away we've received one of these letters too, because for all the hot-tub humping, steamy bar scenes and backseat blowjobs they involve, they all seem to start out with those three little words -- 'My beautiful wife'."

[Reminds me, Cindi, of how all your date reports start with, "I really hadn't planned on anything, but..." Anyway so what were you discovering about "cuckold"?]

[Nothing, really. Actually, I was thinking about writing a little story. Can you do that in an essay?]

[It's frowned upon in the better journals. You'd just ramble and lose the reader, but maybe you could say it and I'll write it down. One of my readers said that I'm "laconic".]

[Is that good?]

[You forgot to add, "Holly Rennick. Is that good, Holly Rennick." Well, he's a very nice fellow, so I'm sure he intended it to be. Just scoot over so I can use the keyboard, honey. You just dictate and I'll edit while I type.]

A CUCKOLD'S TALE

When Gary and Sondra first had sex, long after they'd started going out, she'd seemed so innocent. In the scope of what most college students did, they were squeaky clean until they couldn't wait any longer. She'd seemed to know what to do, but then they'd made out enough that she'd already made him shoot on her skirt, and, best as he could tell, maybe came a little when he rubbed her. (She'd not come close, she clarified long after; it was damn uncomfortable, him rooting around. They'd laughed.). Many girls break their hymens riding horses, he'd read. He was going to wear a condom, but she said she was already on the pill to make her periods lighter. The bloody bed sheet was an old wives' tale, he'd figured. In retrospect, he could have been more in tune when his betrothed suggested a better brand of condoms.

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The Tutor       Jack sat in the back of class, lost in a daze as usual. He thought, ‘The professor really should make her lectures more interesting.’ Maybe then her would pay attention in class. As class dismissed and students began to file out of the lecture hall someone grabbed his arm and stopped him. It was the professor, and she didn’t look very happy. She motioned for him to sit down in one of the chair on the front row so she could speak with him. Jack sat down and began to...

2 years ago
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Sexy Shyamalavathy

  Chapter 1 Shyamalavathy, a lecturer whose husband was alcoholic and suffered from diabetes that had robbed him of all sexual desire and left them in a sexless marriage for many years. She was forty seven, mother of two girls and a boy aged twenty two, nineteen and sixteen respectively when her husband died. Shyamalavathy was twenty two when she married to thirty two years old husband, a Lecturer, one year after his first wife died. He was a suspecting and dominating husband. She led the life...

4 years ago
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Flirting Neighbor

Jaime is 48 years old with light brown hair and blue eye. She stood about 5 feet 6 inches tall. Today, Jaime had decided to wear her red leather skirt and a white top. Under this, she wore a white bra matching off white garter belt and thong, tan stockings and tan sandals with straps that tied around the ankles. Jaime and her friends were going to nice restaurant for lunch. She had no idea her day was going to end the way it was going too. Jaime stopped at the store on her way home to pick...

4 years ago
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El PasoChapter 10

I screwed up my courage on Thursday morning and went to the courthouse to present myself to the court. I had with me a letter of introduction I’d written, listing my qualifications (all of them true, except for the name of the college). It turns out that the process was much easier than I had anticipated, as I didn’t have to do anything except present my letter to the clerk of the court, fill out a form and take an oath. The Clerk of the Court of El Paso County was an officious, humorless...

2 years ago
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My Brothers Boy

I am a G**** Farmer, have 5 aches and the summer between his junior & senior year my nephew Ed came to work for my-he was 17 and turned 18 in July so don't feel like I was Robbing the Cradle. He was on the HS Wrestling Team and worked out beautiful young man 5'10", about 160 LBS, blond very curly hair, green eyes worked out like a champ very well defined. Will give you his important measurements when I take them. I wanted him that's for Damn Sure but made no really open moves or said any...

2 years ago
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Life is Good Today

There are no graphic sex scenes in this story. All constructive comments and criticisms are welcome and appreciated. If you like the story, please let me know. If you didn’t like the story please let me know why. Critiques will help me grow and become a better writer. Thanks for reading my work and ENJOY. My inspiration for this story is the song ‘Toes in the Water’ by the Zac Brown Band. I got my toes in the water, ass in the sandNot a worry in the world, a cold beer in my handLife is good...

3 years ago
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Sex with My Teacher

*COMPLETE FANTASY* I was in high school at age 16, and I had known for a while that I was bi. I was about 6 foot 150 lbs with brown hair, I was also slightly athletic. I always had the biggest crush on my teacher, he was dark haired and had a wonderful beard. He was shorter than me, probably 5’8′ and 150lbs. He had just a wonderful build to him that drove me nuts. I always fantasized what his dick looked like. Anyway I was pretty sure he was gay because of the way he acted and he never had a...

2 years ago
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Welcome to the City

Mike Stone stared out of the office window and onto the bright lights of the city down below. Behind him the party was in full flow. Demi was drunk and dancing on a table. She was dressed in a sexy black leather catwoman costume. The other traders, mainly balding middle-aged men, ogled her appreciatively. Mike watched their reflections in the glass. He should be happy. He should be enjoying himself. Instead he felt strangely subdued. There was no reason to be. Here he was, fresh out of...

2 years ago
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Elven Trials

My name is Kaitlin. I was always a natural in physical battle, built tougher than most, with a toned body I use my agility and flexibility to my advantage rather than strength. For the uneven fights I was trained to have a golden tongue and quick wits to buy myself time to find a weakness or an escape. When all else fails being a woman has its advantages at times, being an elf I'm widely regarded as stunningly beautiful even amongst my own kind. I was trained to be the ultimate fighter for my...

Fantasy
3 years ago
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Revenge of the NerdChapter 13

I cruised by Jeff's around noon. I didn't honk the horn because I wanted to see the whole family. Harri opened the door. "Ashley, so nice to see you. I think Jeff will be ready soon." She gave me a delicious hug. She released me, but before I could answer her I was driven back by a tackle worthy of the most ferocious linebacker. "Ashley," said Sandy. She had her head buried in my chest and her arms held me against her as if she was afraid I would flee. I tousled her hair. "How have...

4 years ago
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After Work Treatmen Ch 1

Introduction: Alena is a woman in her mid-twenties who works her ass off in a bureau. After some extra hours she just wants to treat herself… After an hour long train ride home I was completely exhausted and done with my life. I havent really slept in nearly 32 hours just because I was working. Ive always hated extra hours but they were paid pretty good so I agreed on staying longer in the bureau. The only thing I wanted was my nice bed and a good amount of sleep for the whole weekend without...

4 years ago
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My friends dad 11

"Hi dad, I was just passing by, and couldn't help but hear all the moaning and everything else going on in here," Jeanette said. "But why are you in your bra and underwear and a little sweaty too. Were you masturbating while you watched us?" John asked. Then she got up and looked at us, neither one of us covered up though and she just spit it out. "Yes, I was masturbating while I watched you two have sex. It turns me on that you are fucking my best friend. There, it's out...

4 years ago
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Building a relationship

It was a hot Australian summer afternoon. I'm home from university for the summer and I can't wait. Beach parties, drinks with friends, will make up most of the time. But hanging out at home with the family also takes a certain degree of importance. So anyway, I was spending the day at home. It was a scorcher of a day outside and because the pool was "out of use" for me today, I was confined to the house. The day progressed slowly. I later found out that the reason I wasn't allowed to use the...

Gay Male
4 years ago
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Going Medieval

“Let me guess, let me guess!” A short, plump, twenty-something woman wearing a gaudy yellow anthropomorphic costume of what you can only guess is suppose to be Japanese cartoon cat with a completely out of place princess cone hat excitedly greets you from within the entrance booth as you approach the fairground's main gate. Before you can get a word in the cat princess slides her thick rimmed glasses up her pimpled nose to get a better look at you and continues her interrogation, “Tragicomix,...

3 years ago
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Nate and Ariana Chapter 4

After their threesome at the frat house, Ariana saw a difference in Nate. His confidence increased. He began to become more aware of fashion and changed how he dressed. He even trimmed his hair and switched from glasses to contacts. Ariana missed the geeky young man that first walked into her store several months ago. Their romps in the store after hours became less frequent, stopping entirely when Nate found his first girl friend. Ariana continued fucking the young man from their threesome at...

Group Sex
2 years ago
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Rashidha Chap7 Teasing a Slut

My dad is a very mischievous man. In order to spice up our daily routine, he started to tease me. He already teased my mom; why not me? He teased my mom in many ways. For example; In bed; he would put his head in between her big tits and shake them; while she was cooking; He would caress her back and her ass; during their bath; yeah sometimes they take baths together and sometimes I join in as well. But till then I wasn`t being teased by my dad yet. A mere slap on the ass wasn`t teasing for his...

4 years ago
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Me Chudi College Director Se

Hello dosto mera nam heena he or me 20 varsiya engineering student hun me ISS abhi kuch dino se padhna suru kiya he to socha aapni life ki real story bhi share karu aap mujhe mail jarur kariyega or ye bhi bataiyega ki mene galat kiya ya sahi meri mail id me meerut ke 1 Eng. Clg me B. Tech 2st yr ki student hun ye kahani aaj se karib 1yr pehle ki he jub me 1st sem. Me thi dosto pehle me aapko aapne bare me bata dun me dikhne me kafi khubsurat hun. Esa meri friends kehti he or sayad sach hi kehti...

4 years ago
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Als Sklave bei einem schwulen Paar

Schon seit langem träumte ich davon, einmal als Sklave dienen zu dürfen. Am liebsten wäre es mir bei einem älteren Pärchen (w+m) oder einem Freundespaar unter zu kommen. Auch ein einzelner Herr wäre denkbar, um auch meine ausgeprägten Bi Fantasien ausleben zu können.Ich las sehr oft Kontaktinserate, oder gab selber welche auf. Allerdings kam es nie zu einem Treffen, da es in den meisten Fällen an Seriosität und Tabus mangelte. Da ich sehr auf Diskretion und Sauberkeit bedacht bin, und auch...

3 years ago
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Hidden cameras

When Jean’s brother-in-law Ian retired he and her sister Marion decided to downsize and move to a smaller property near us. They managed to find a house a short walk away and they stayed with us for a few weeks while the house was rewired and decorated before moving in. The new wiring included a burglar alarm, internet cabling in all rooms, external security CCTV and smoke detectors. After all the furniture had been moved in Ian and Marion had a grand opening and we went to look around the...

1 year ago
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Snow Tubing Frenzy

It was winter time already, and my friends and I were all ready to spend a day at the slopes. We hopped in on of my friend's dad's car and drove off, headed for the mountains. Of course, when I got comfortable in my seat and put on my walkman, I had no idea that I would be having my first sexual experience in a few short hours. On our way up to the mountains, my friends Jordon and Mitch (names have been changed) were enjoying the views as I was enjoying my music. Jordon had no idea I was gay,...

Gay
1 year ago
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Brother Sister Engage In Passionate Taboo

Note : This story is completely fictional! Okay so let me start off with saying that my name is Oliver. I'm 18, I go to community college. I'm tall, green eyes, buzz cut and in shape. I try to eat healthy and exercise so my body is lean, hard and healthy. My sister's name is Jackie. She is 21, works at a beauty salon, and very attractive. She is shorter than I, tan, light brown eyes, shoulder length wavy brown hair, full lips, hour glass figure, B-cups, and a tight ass. She eats healthy and...

Incest
4 years ago
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Doctor Gets a House Call from His Interns

This is the third installment of The Interns. This storyline outlines that fun that Rachel, Sandy, Max, and Jason had while interning a local hospital. Rachel and Sandy had become close friends during this intern session as they were paired with each other through each rotation. This month they had duty in the neo natal department. It was a fun place to work, but it was hectic and very stressful at times. In a short amount of time, the two women had become assets to the department,...

3 years ago
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Fantasy Weekend

Fantasy Weekend By Salon Selective God knows I had bugged my wife long enough about it. I was a very part-time cross dresser. At least I guess that's what you would call it. Make-up and nails were my real turn on, and I had shared this with her. She reluctantly agreed to do some kinky things with me sometimes... a little bondage here, making my face up there, painting my toenails --- stuff like that. I wanted something more than that though, but didn't know how to tell...

3 years ago
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Its Not Prostitution Ch 01

It’s not prostitution, or at least that is what Trevor tells me. It’s not sex in exchange for money, not exactly, because that would be illegal in L.A., but there’s nothing illegal about a phone call is there? I would have actually wanted to ask Mr. Facelli about it, but he didn’t seem much for small talk when we met, he was more about getting straight down to business the minute he got me alone in his car. He flashed the money the moment we were alone, like a good customer, though Trevor...

2 years ago
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Lust Part 1

I have always been a very persuasive woman. Even when it takes longer I usually get things done my way. My life has always been a little eccentric, to say the least, but conspiring with my son to make my husband fall for his little daughter... That's a little too much even for someone like me. Specially when all this craziness, sexual tension, hidden emotions and incestual lust have struck me out of nowhere in the past few weeks. But let me talk a little bit about my life and how I got to...

4 years ago
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State Part 1

Scott lunged into the pool, his slim body sliding through the water like an arrow through air; completely smooth. His body was tan, smooth, and pressed into a tight blue speedo. Scott had been training for a win at state, working hard with his friend Andrew. Together, they had been formidable team-mates since seventh grade when they joined the swim club. Now as sophomores they had one image in mind and that was winning every single race. Scott pulled through 100-m and climbed out of...

4 years ago
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Kajal On Office Tour 8211 Part 2

Hi Friends, I am back with my further part of execution. This is Kajal from India. Little bit about myself. I am sexy and hot married woman of 26 years age who loves to enjoy a lot. I love to wear sexy and hot clothes. I love to tease men. I am working as a personal secretary in export-import Company. I am 5.8ft tall, sexy long legs, very fair look, long hair, dark eyes and sexy figure of 34-26-36 with Cup size “C”. So, once the lunch was finished, we moved back to conference room where we...

4 years ago
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ProeliatorChapter 22

The Romans did set up camp as we figured. They had more daylight to do it but there were a lot of wounded people to deal with too, not to mention the dead. Roman patrols had been sent out and they worked diligently to find any enemy but none were discovered. Most of the patrols retreated to their fort when it got dark but not all. There was a small hill that was our objective. It was near the maximum range of our weapons. The hill protected us from direct view of the camp. We made a fire to...

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