Vidhi 8217 s Diary 8211 Chapter 2 8211 The Bisexual Sex Addict
- 4 years ago
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My Life So Far! Diary Of A Sex Addict! free porn video
i first had sex when i was 14 years old, it was with a girl who was 18, in a field in Tallagh.(Dublin).
it did not last very long but i knew i was hooked. the worse thing about having sex so young is it was 2 year before i had sex again.
i was engaged at 17 to a girl 2 years older than me and at 17 i thought all my dreams had come true, i was head over heels crazy about this girl.
i had my first 3some with her a a friend of hers who did not even like me but it was such a rush. 17 years old having sex with 2 woman then seeing them licking and fingering each other was mind blowing.
shortly after we got engaged the girl i was with had to go to Cork to study for 6 months, we phoned each other a lot at the time computers was not as popular as they are now and Skype and Facebook were unheard of.
to cut a long story short when she came back to Dublin she had something with her. she was 3 months pregnant. (not mine) i was shattered i thought my life was over. we split up and i carried on with life getting no enjoyment from it at all. it was like i was cut off from emotion, i did not feel anything, until one night, friends of mine (how i still had friends i do not know) brought me out for a drink. we were sitting in a pub and something kicked off! i dont know what started it but the pub was in an uproar, tables and chairs were flying about the place, people being punched and kicked. it had nothing to do with me or the people who we were sitting with but as it happened a girl we were sitting with got hit, so being a stupid young man i jumped to help her and ended up in the fight. before this i had done 3 years of boxing and 2 years of kempo so i was above average fighter. for the first time in a long time i felt my blood pumping. i feel something! after nearly a year of nothing i felt great! after that night i would go out with one friend in particular who always started trouble just so i would end up in a fight.
then one night i was stabbed! it was not deep and i could not go to the hospital as my family thought i was a golden boy and i did not want to burst there bubble.
i ended up in my friends apartment were i cauterized the stab wound with a red hot knife.
i thought i was in heaven. i know that sound strange to most people but it was that night i became a selfharmer.
i did not say this is a pretty story! but its my life!
i tried lots of ways to self harm but my way was burning. the rush i got from it was so intoxicating it could not be replaced by any other thing in my life.
i know your saying now he sounds fucked up and the title said he was a sex addict! were is the sex?
well it has been going on while everything else was. every weekend i would pick up some girl. i know that sounds big headed but i have always been quite lucky when it comes to woman! one woman i was with last year said it was like i had some hold over her that it was like hypnoses, i dont hold to this myself but i have always been a charmer.
i went on like this for a good few years. i never feel in love with any ladies but i did have a few long tern girlfriends, but like everything else in my life apart from burning i was getting numb to the sex, it was not exciting me, so then i found a woman who was into swinging, we went to parties, had a few people who would call over every other week or so. we went dogging to be honest i never really liked that. its Ireland we live in and its always fucking freezing.
i had a good thing going but like most things in my life i sabotaged it by sleeping with her sister.
up to date i have had sex with over 220 woman. out of that i could remember maybe 50 names, life was bouncing from one woman to the next (please excuse the pun)
also keep in mind at this time everybody i knew, friend i had grown up with had started family's and got married, started to settle down!
i was the single guy! i had no body! lots of girlfriends but no love!
i saw babies being born, weddings, i am even a godfather which is a joke of course as i hate the church and all it stands for( no i was never m*****ed) not just the church but all religions.
but that's nothing to do with this story!
i found myself lonely! i wanted somebody to share with. i looked around and saw all the happy couples and thought i want that. i want to be happy!
yet again i was out one night ended up in a night club with a friend who had gotten his orders from his wife to be home 3 hours ago! but fuck it we were on a lads night out!
i was getting ready to start chatting to a woman when i saw a lady holding about 7 coats standing on her own in the corner of the night club.
i dont know why but she caught my eye. not my type at all!
one look at her and i knew she had not got that thing i look for in a woman (craziness)
but then i thought to myself i will never find love with the type of girl i go for so why not try something new!
i walked over and started chatting to her, i am no brad pitt but as i said before she was not the type of woman i go for, a little on the big side and took no shit, i tried to get her home and she said no! i was flummoxed. dont get me wrong i have been refused lots and lots of times by ladies but ones that i fancied, i had no real attraction to her and could not understand why she would not. turns out she was a nice girl! and nice girls dont do that, see not my type at all.
she had gotten me interested in her by saying no! so i tried and tried, we dated all was great we started having sex and it was good and she had a high sex drive as it turns out. not as high as mine but i have only every met 2 woman that does.
i gave up fucking around and tried to make a go of it with her.
3 years later we had are first c***d, 2 years after we had are 2nd c***d.
4 years later we were still together, 9 years i am not going to say i stayed faithful all that time because i would be lying but she never found out, but yet again i was back to were i was before, life seemed dull, please dont get me wrong i love my k**s with all my heart and there is nothing that i would not do for them but being with a woman for 9 years who you dont love and who you have never loved was like living in hell. i had cut back on the selfharming during them years but it started to come back towards the end of the relationship.
yet again i think i had to justify this! i have not got a bad word to say about this woman, she is a wonderful woman and a great mother.
it got to a point were i was taking double shifts in work just so i did not have to go home. she felt it to.
one night after a double shift i called her a said i was stopping off at the pub on the way home and not to stay up.
this was not a thing i would do, in fact i had never done it before. i got shitfaced and rolled home about 2 in the morning fell into bed and went to sleep.
when i woke up the following morning we had THE CHAT, its not working out i dont love you you dont love me why dont we split, some of you might know that chat!
i did not think this story was going to be so long and well done if your still reading this!
anywho we split up. i started sleeping around again which is completely different now. i have womam picking me up now.( love this)
my harming went on over drive, it was about this time i met the woman who turned my life around. i owe her so much.
how can i explain about this woman?
first she was my best friends ex, they had split up! not my fault.
she is a selfharmer, she cuts.
she is a sex addict,
she is a love addict.
stunningly beautiful, body like a porn star.
her ex had told her some stuff about me, and she wanted a new fuck buddy and sent me a facebook friend request.
i had no idea she was so much like me at the time.
we started sending messages to each other, pictures, videos long chats at night apart from sex talk.
the more we told each other the more i would say" yes i have done that" or she would say "yes i try that" we just had so much in common it was like we were meant to be together.
we did not meet for 6 weeks after we first started talking.
she called up to me one night and i thought all my dreams had come true.
220 odd woman not a bother that night my cock would not get wood, i could have cut it off and stuff it with a tree and it would still not get wood. i was shocked. i have had the odd time were i have had to much to drink and mr softy come a calling but nothing like this.
it was like i had a mangina, all it was short of doing was crawling back inside me.
the 2nd or 3rd time we tried i got it up for about 10 mins we had sex and it was crap, i was crap.
i could not understand what was going on, i had sex with a lot of woman and this had never happened but with a woman who i was besotted with not a chance.
yet again to cut a long story short i ended up seeing a srink! it was her idea, i an of an age were it was not the done thing, plus all my life i had never shared my feeling with anybody.
i hated it! i went to 6 sessions and still hated it but i thought i would tell the real story of my life and get it out there.
this might come as a shock to you but i thought at the time i was normal, a sex addict had never crossed my mind when i think of a sex addict i think prev, dirty old bastard, i honestly thought of myself as a jack the lad, just out having fun! as for the burning that was just a part of me from very young and i was so use to it that i could not explain it.
getting back to the story i fell in love with my fuck buddy and could not get it up.
it was never going to work out anyway, but something happened to her that i am not going to talk about but i felt like my world had ended again, i was 17 again.
i had no been in a fight in over 15 years, and i ended up putting some guy in the hospital.
i had my reasons it was not just random and as it turns out it had nothing to do with the woman i had fallen in love with, not directly but you could say i had built up aggression that i let out on this chap.
i found myself single,35 years old and back in a life i did not want.
don't worry i did not find god or anything like that!
i had a realization of who i had become and i had to weed out the bad parts of my life and live with the rest.
i stopped fighting, i stopped burning, no i did not stop having sex. but i enjoy it a hole lot more now that i know what i am.
satisfaction was never attainable for me all them years because as an addict its just like d**gs where and when can i get my next fix.
i have changed the way i have sex now and i enjoy it so much i have 3 steady fuck buddies at the moment and you will be happy to hear i am like that bunny off the add, every ready!
i am enjoying life and enjoying sex, all 3 woman know about each other and are happy with the arrangement. they get really good sex and i get my sex drive filled and a huge amount of satisfaction.
i like most people out there have had a hard life, i will never be rich, i work my bollox off in a job i don't really like to pay for my k**s, my apartment, food, etc but at least i know myself now and understand why i did and do the things that make me who i am.
that wraps up this entry for now i will leave you with a quote from a Steven King book
"Long days and pleasant nights"
it did not last very long but i knew i was hooked. the worse thing about having sex so young is it was 2 year before i had sex again.
i was engaged at 17 to a girl 2 years older than me and at 17 i thought all my dreams had come true, i was head over heels crazy about this girl.
i had my first 3some with her a a friend of hers who did not even like me but it was such a rush. 17 years old having sex with 2 woman then seeing them licking and fingering each other was mind blowing.
shortly after we got engaged the girl i was with had to go to Cork to study for 6 months, we phoned each other a lot at the time computers was not as popular as they are now and Skype and Facebook were unheard of.
to cut a long story short when she came back to Dublin she had something with her. she was 3 months pregnant. (not mine) i was shattered i thought my life was over. we split up and i carried on with life getting no enjoyment from it at all. it was like i was cut off from emotion, i did not feel anything, until one night, friends of mine (how i still had friends i do not know) brought me out for a drink. we were sitting in a pub and something kicked off! i dont know what started it but the pub was in an uproar, tables and chairs were flying about the place, people being punched and kicked. it had nothing to do with me or the people who we were sitting with but as it happened a girl we were sitting with got hit, so being a stupid young man i jumped to help her and ended up in the fight. before this i had done 3 years of boxing and 2 years of kempo so i was above average fighter. for the first time in a long time i felt my blood pumping. i feel something! after nearly a year of nothing i felt great! after that night i would go out with one friend in particular who always started trouble just so i would end up in a fight.
then one night i was stabbed! it was not deep and i could not go to the hospital as my family thought i was a golden boy and i did not want to burst there bubble.
i ended up in my friends apartment were i cauterized the stab wound with a red hot knife.
i thought i was in heaven. i know that sound strange to most people but it was that night i became a selfharmer.
i did not say this is a pretty story! but its my life!
i tried lots of ways to self harm but my way was burning. the rush i got from it was so intoxicating it could not be replaced by any other thing in my life.
i know your saying now he sounds fucked up and the title said he was a sex addict! were is the sex?
well it has been going on while everything else was. every weekend i would pick up some girl. i know that sounds big headed but i have always been quite lucky when it comes to woman! one woman i was with last year said it was like i had some hold over her that it was like hypnoses, i dont hold to this myself but i have always been a charmer.
i went on like this for a good few years. i never feel in love with any ladies but i did have a few long tern girlfriends, but like everything else in my life apart from burning i was getting numb to the sex, it was not exciting me, so then i found a woman who was into swinging, we went to parties, had a few people who would call over every other week or so. we went dogging to be honest i never really liked that. its Ireland we live in and its always fucking freezing.
i had a good thing going but like most things in my life i sabotaged it by sleeping with her sister.
up to date i have had sex with over 220 woman. out of that i could remember maybe 50 names, life was bouncing from one woman to the next (please excuse the pun)
also keep in mind at this time everybody i knew, friend i had grown up with had started family's and got married, started to settle down!
i was the single guy! i had no body! lots of girlfriends but no love!
i saw babies being born, weddings, i am even a godfather which is a joke of course as i hate the church and all it stands for( no i was never m*****ed) not just the church but all religions.
but that's nothing to do with this story!
i found myself lonely! i wanted somebody to share with. i looked around and saw all the happy couples and thought i want that. i want to be happy!
yet again i was out one night ended up in a night club with a friend who had gotten his orders from his wife to be home 3 hours ago! but fuck it we were on a lads night out!
i was getting ready to start chatting to a woman when i saw a lady holding about 7 coats standing on her own in the corner of the night club.
i dont know why but she caught my eye. not my type at all!
one look at her and i knew she had not got that thing i look for in a woman (craziness)
but then i thought to myself i will never find love with the type of girl i go for so why not try something new!
i walked over and started chatting to her, i am no brad pitt but as i said before she was not the type of woman i go for, a little on the big side and took no shit, i tried to get her home and she said no! i was flummoxed. dont get me wrong i have been refused lots and lots of times by ladies but ones that i fancied, i had no real attraction to her and could not understand why she would not. turns out she was a nice girl! and nice girls dont do that, see not my type at all.
she had gotten me interested in her by saying no! so i tried and tried, we dated all was great we started having sex and it was good and she had a high sex drive as it turns out. not as high as mine but i have only every met 2 woman that does.
i gave up fucking around and tried to make a go of it with her.
3 years later we had are first c***d, 2 years after we had are 2nd c***d.
4 years later we were still together, 9 years i am not going to say i stayed faithful all that time because i would be lying but she never found out, but yet again i was back to were i was before, life seemed dull, please dont get me wrong i love my k**s with all my heart and there is nothing that i would not do for them but being with a woman for 9 years who you dont love and who you have never loved was like living in hell. i had cut back on the selfharming during them years but it started to come back towards the end of the relationship.
yet again i think i had to justify this! i have not got a bad word to say about this woman, she is a wonderful woman and a great mother.
it got to a point were i was taking double shifts in work just so i did not have to go home. she felt it to.
one night after a double shift i called her a said i was stopping off at the pub on the way home and not to stay up.
this was not a thing i would do, in fact i had never done it before. i got shitfaced and rolled home about 2 in the morning fell into bed and went to sleep.
when i woke up the following morning we had THE CHAT, its not working out i dont love you you dont love me why dont we split, some of you might know that chat!
i did not think this story was going to be so long and well done if your still reading this!
anywho we split up. i started sleeping around again which is completely different now. i have womam picking me up now.( love this)
my harming went on over drive, it was about this time i met the woman who turned my life around. i owe her so much.
how can i explain about this woman?
first she was my best friends ex, they had split up! not my fault.
she is a selfharmer, she cuts.
she is a sex addict,
she is a love addict.
stunningly beautiful, body like a porn star.
her ex had told her some stuff about me, and she wanted a new fuck buddy and sent me a facebook friend request.
i had no idea she was so much like me at the time.
we started sending messages to each other, pictures, videos long chats at night apart from sex talk.
the more we told each other the more i would say" yes i have done that" or she would say "yes i try that" we just had so much in common it was like we were meant to be together.
we did not meet for 6 weeks after we first started talking.
she called up to me one night and i thought all my dreams had come true.
220 odd woman not a bother that night my cock would not get wood, i could have cut it off and stuff it with a tree and it would still not get wood. i was shocked. i have had the odd time were i have had to much to drink and mr softy come a calling but nothing like this.
it was like i had a mangina, all it was short of doing was crawling back inside me.
the 2nd or 3rd time we tried i got it up for about 10 mins we had sex and it was crap, i was crap.
i could not understand what was going on, i had sex with a lot of woman and this had never happened but with a woman who i was besotted with not a chance.
yet again to cut a long story short i ended up seeing a srink! it was her idea, i an of an age were it was not the done thing, plus all my life i had never shared my feeling with anybody.
i hated it! i went to 6 sessions and still hated it but i thought i would tell the real story of my life and get it out there.
this might come as a shock to you but i thought at the time i was normal, a sex addict had never crossed my mind when i think of a sex addict i think prev, dirty old bastard, i honestly thought of myself as a jack the lad, just out having fun! as for the burning that was just a part of me from very young and i was so use to it that i could not explain it.
getting back to the story i fell in love with my fuck buddy and could not get it up.
it was never going to work out anyway, but something happened to her that i am not going to talk about but i felt like my world had ended again, i was 17 again.
i had no been in a fight in over 15 years, and i ended up putting some guy in the hospital.
i had my reasons it was not just random and as it turns out it had nothing to do with the woman i had fallen in love with, not directly but you could say i had built up aggression that i let out on this chap.
i found myself single,35 years old and back in a life i did not want.
don't worry i did not find god or anything like that!
i had a realization of who i had become and i had to weed out the bad parts of my life and live with the rest.
i stopped fighting, i stopped burning, no i did not stop having sex. but i enjoy it a hole lot more now that i know what i am.
satisfaction was never attainable for me all them years because as an addict its just like d**gs where and when can i get my next fix.
i have changed the way i have sex now and i enjoy it so much i have 3 steady fuck buddies at the moment and you will be happy to hear i am like that bunny off the add, every ready!
i am enjoying life and enjoying sex, all 3 woman know about each other and are happy with the arrangement. they get really good sex and i get my sex drive filled and a huge amount of satisfaction.
i like most people out there have had a hard life, i will never be rich, i work my bollox off in a job i don't really like to pay for my k**s, my apartment, food, etc but at least i know myself now and understand why i did and do the things that make me who i am.
that wraps up this entry for now i will leave you with a quote from a Steven King book
"Long days and pleasant nights"
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